/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>24485462
>Now with 90% less latex
for now

>you encounter an orc

>>24485507
You sure it's an orc this time?

>Black Hair
>Gold Eyes
There's a definite pattern in the boats I admire most.
I wonder what MGs look good in that combo?
>captcha was click the boats
it's a sign, or something

>>24485513
Yes, this particular orc just likes her hair straight rather than all messy like some delinquent

>>24485530
Where is this from? The aftermath of a peaceful protest?

>>24485541
Apparently the MGE books were in an attic when the roof started to leak.

>Had a monster girl dread
>It was a nightmare
Well shit.

you have been visited by dogs

>>24485603
Well I had a dream where I was driving around on a scooter and a Pharaoh cast a spell that made it rain where the object she was looking for was at and I almost got wet
What do you think that means?

>>24485617
Which one too impregnate first...

>>24485617
It's times like these where I think KDF might be on to something.

>>24485629
All three at once!

Fuck all Monsters!

>>24485746
>"the search for hubby"
>"starring: godzilla-chan"

Don't underestimate mice they are crafty

>>24485790
What if the real husband was the guy she meet along the way?

>>24485963
She looks so harmless...

>>24485986
she might look harmless but she has the heart of a rat

>>24485507
Read House on the Borderland

>>24485963
They're still no match for cats.

>tell a fairy you won't date her because she is too small
>she uses magic to grow larger than you

The dream

>24486178
>tell a fairy you won't date her because she is too small
>she uses magic to shrink you down to her size

24486198
tell a fairy you won't date her because she's too small
she uses magic to shrink you're dick

>>24486198
>>24486178
She trades your heights and shoves you down her pants. look at how the tables have turned

fairy magic OP plz nerf

>>24486229
Titty-Anne is a capricious nee-san

>>24486240
I want to visit her realm I bet the forests are pretty

>>24486229
Just use countermagic or silence my dude. If you can't get to their level then just drag them down to yours and beat them with mundaneness.

>>24485986
She even cooked for you.

It would be kinda cute if anon and a succubus became a couple and they both think the other is way out of their league.

>>24486178
>she uses magic to grow larger than you
>tell a fairy you won't date her because she hasn't taken you yet

>>24486363
What did she make?

When your monster friend asks for headpats as a joke but your start giving them to her anyway

Bullying an echidna by secretly getting a vasectomy and making her think she's infertile!

>>24486410
too bad sex magic undoes that enjoy giving her a full baseball team of kids

>>24486405
Well it just says gohan so a rice meal I think.

>>24485531
I tried that on sahu earlier

Remember that succubi think nothing but lewd thoughts

>>24486431
>enjoy giving her a full baseball team of kids
Having a impregnation fetish but being afraid of becoming a father is annoying.
God I love echidna but I'm also afraid of marrying one.

best part about monster tails no matter the size is them wrapping around you be it full body or even just your finger

>>24486619
monster children are different and they get out of your hair like 150% faster

>>24486643
NO! make that shit fat and long.

Babbeh

>>24486643
Imagine your freshly hatched snake daughteru doing this to you
>>>/wsg/3525582

>>24486619
>Having a impregnation fetish but being afraid of becoming a father is annoying.
I actually want to father a bunch of monster daughters and raise them to follow human morals, but I'm afraid of all the mess related to pregnancy/birth. Maybe that's why I like harpies so much, no live birth no problem.

>>24486662
what a happy knife ear
>>24486643
>Succ wrapping her tail around your hand pulling it into a headpat

>>24486670
Snek ring!

>>24486670
considering the size of most eggs wouldn't it be more like your daughteru coiled around your whole arm not just a finger

>>24486662
Time to retire from adventuring with your Elf Rogue wife!

>>24486647
This is honestly why I like teen monster girls. They can take care of themselves fully but you can still do cute kids-stuff with them.
Also they're not lolis.
I wonder how they would act when they want to find out why mommy keeps getting pregnant.

>>24486740
I knew her ploy for us to fake date so that we could sneak into the museum and steal the diamond would have unintended consequences

Stupid ice fairy thinks she's the strongest!

>>24487027
Cirno?

Childhood's End but it really is just Demons looking to make humanity ready for a global Dark Matter bombing

>>24487027
She is the dumbest.

I got the perfect tagline for what I'd do if I was an escort in a monster city
>So if you have a fantasy of being a queen
>Maybe you should blow a couple bucks on me

>>24487360
>your first and only client is the princess of the land thinking you are a teacher of royal customs and hires you to teach her

Meaty tails.

>>24487523
She is 100% for breeding.

>>24487523

I wonder what commercials aimed towards monster girls would be like.
>"Your husband would fall in love with you al over again if you bought this"
>Video of a holst and her husband cuddling

>Gym commercials show a weak monster girl getting pushed down and held in place while a few girls rapes her husband off screen
>"If this happened to you, could you protect your loved ones?"

>>24486662
>>24486740

Wonder if mommyhood would be enough to make a dark elf less snooty and smug

>>24487666
what about when she needs to teach her kid how to be snooty and smug

>>24487603
>monster girls
>on-screen NTR in commercial
Might as well show uncensored mexican cartel executions, would spark comparable outrage

>>24487697
>would spark comparable outrage
You're saying that like it's not a common thing for companies to "accidentally" start a outrage so everyone keeps talking about their brand.
I'm 90% sure some tanuki(or bicorn) marketer would do this as well.

Beware of clown fairies wearing stars and stripes, for they will drive you insane.

>>24487144
I want to help my demon mistress in ensuring humanity's ascension. Her will is my command!

>>24487697
the real issue would be how they even got actors for the scene

>>24487790
>or bicorn
Why would they even need bicorn specific ads

>>24487856
all fairies get shoved in pants

>>24488039
what if I fuck up and she shoves me into her panties

>>24487998
>"Does your husbands other wives not satisfy him enough? Come to BicornsBar where for a fixed price you can get as many drinks for you, your husband and his wives as you want."
>"A lot of these will include performance enhancing, size enchaining and extremely powerful Aphrodisiac"
>"And ones your all all had your fill you can go to our rooms and you can watch him get fucked for hours by his other wives"
>"We even have a special chair just for you so you can see everything that's going on while you're still conferrable"
>"And remember, nice girls cum last."

>>24487945
You're getting raped off screen. I can totally see a cheshire and her husband just bashing pots and pans together and moaning off screen while a dormouse or something is just paid to be weak and stupid like she always is.

>>24487998
because they can't just buy normal alphabet soup they need the kind that only has the letters c, u and k

>>24487790
crafty tanuki I bet the ad would work insofar as more monsters get strong because they fall into the fear of the ad

>>24488157
>You notice your waifu bought weights and is working out with them
>Ask her why and she says she saw the most horrible thing on tv and must protect you
>Remind her that she's a magic caster and doesn't need to be physically strong to protect you

>>24488057
feast

>>24488057
could be a worse fuck up and due to magic you both are shoved down each other's pants at the same time like a fucking M C Escher painting of being shoved down pants

>>24488238
>Lich doesn't seem to react to the ad at all
>But not long after she's starting to get fit
>Despite the fact she could rip a house in two with her magic quite easily

This thread fucking sucks donkey balls.

So how good is your wife's blowjob?

>>24488294
Hellhound sucks like Hell.

>>24488294
Deepthroating master.

>>24488294
Demon realm poisoned lipstick, so pretty fucking great

>>24488294
Did a bj scene for a future story I might post someday. She's pretty skilled with her tongue. And attacking the sack seems like cheating.

>>24488294
Horned monsters give the best blowjobs because they have handles

>>24488294
One of my wives has three mouths, it's pretty much cheating when it comes to blowjob ability.

>>24488407
Facefucking seems more like a liability, since now it's more you than her. All that skill goes out the window, as I see it.

The exception is Baphomet, since the magic current probably stops you from moving any differently than she would expect, meaning she can still do as she pleases.

>Live an average every day life like anyone else on this world
>One day earthquakes start
>The skies become red
>The night becomes starless
>The next day you wake up and find that Mamono now inhabit our world
>You then see:
https://monstergirlencyclopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Special:RandomInCategory/Mamono
>in your home
>How does your new life fare?

>>24488294
I enjoy them even if she's not a master at them.

>>24488486
>Slime
Well that's a common monster to be expected I wouldn't find a rare one in my room, and is easily in my top 10 so that's nice I feel like having a slime gf be cool so long as my dog gets along with her

>>24488486
>Inari
I guess it could be worse, but I'm not exactly going to be compatible with one of those.

>>24488407
>When you have to try and use her horns to pry her off your dick cause she just keeps suckin

>>24488522
Even AFTER you nutted?!

And a cyka blyat ushanka stretchy meat to you, young lady

>>24488509
>so long as my dog gets along with her
For people with pets what does your waifu think of your pet?

>>24488486
>Bubble Slime
But I don't even like slimes that much...

>>24488486
>Mermaid
Not exactly the best match, I can't even swim and I have too passive personality for them. I'd try to figure out how we can sustain ourselves from selling her blood and convince her to learn transformation magic for her legs. Also, isn't the mermaid blood perk kind of moot, when all monsters eventually turn you into an incubus anyway?

>>24488568
Yes, yes I see...

>>24488486
>https://monstergirlencyclopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Blue_Oni
Drink my friends, to life to life~

>>24488486
>Kunoichi
But how do I know she's in my house?

Confess

>>24488486
>Charybdis
Well, at least they're omnivorous so I can get them stuff to eat while they're staying due to whatever shenanigans got her into a simple apartment building.
I'm genuinely not into it though, so I'll have to play wingman for a timid girl instead.

Why do the big bad evil demons gotta gloat in those boss fights you're supposed to lose? Is it not bad enough you're gonna wipe the floor with me in 1 hit?

>>24488714
she accidentally slipped up when making her planned trap and sprung it early

>>24488570
>what does your waifu think of your pet?
Would a rata like a hamster

>>24488650
>Wendi-chan in the middle of White Horn-san's class
>Wendi writing furiously into her notebook and nodding her head
>White Horn-san is proud of Wendi for finally paying attention to her lessons and taking notes
>White Horn-san walks around the class to collect today's assignment
>Wendi-chan scribbled pictures of various meats and how she's going to cook them when she gets home
>She also drew pictures of her family and a crude drawing of White Horn-san with a mustache and stink lines

>>24488822
I confess I want to do lewd things to the sisters of my local church

>>24488934
Wendi-chan could become an artist if her talents are fostered.

>>24486127
holy shit those are some sexy mice

>>24488294
which wife though? also I have girlfriends i'm having harem-approved affairs with

>>24488822
Sometimes I want to just drown in lust and ecstasy, endlessly and repeatedly letting out my side.

But I'm afraid I'm not a strong enough man to be able to go back to normal after experiencing such pleasure. So I deny this wish, and hide this desire from my waifu.

>>24485462
What is a bisexual man to do in the MGE world? How can bisexual men ever fare in MGE without having to Alp, their sexuality in jeopardy?

How do you get rid of the smelly odor of cum in your apartment from having so much sex with monsters?

>>24489187
he fucks alps

>>24489187
As KC has said on numerous occasions, if you don't want to be a girl, you won't become a girl. Even homos stay as men if they so desire. Alps are literally for KC SAYS TRANS RIGHTS the gender bender fetish.

Bi's would be fine.

>>24489203
Get a girl with a cum-absorption spell. Just a snap of the fingers is all it takes and anything she missed will vanish in a flash.

Not as alluring as swallowing it right in front of you, but it helps keep the place clean. Probably why my waifu bothered to learn such a spell.

>>24489018
Wendi-chan has been watching lots of Eros Ross on public access, she's a pretty good oil painter!

>>24489187
Well considering men can't compete with monster pussy you stop being bi after fucking one.

>>24489274
See those trees? They're phallic trees. Make them in any shape and size you want. They're YOUR phallic trees.

>>24489285
>Imagine being bi because you like fucking men's assholes

>>24489244
I know you are shitposting but I'd want becoming an incubus to give me a penis so I can actually fuck my waifu, I have no dick and I must coom

>>24489315
>I know you are shitposting
I refuse to comment on that under the assumption that (You) are the actual shitposter.

I can't find the any of the mist continent monsters as appealing as the most popular monsters. I hope the third volume changes that by giving us lots of banger species.
At the end of the second volume the wandering scholar did say it will cover lots of Mist Continent this time around and more of Zipangu.

>>24489315
just become a monstergirl lol

Beware the yeti she may look sweet and innocent but she will hug you without mercy

>>24489315
>girls
>on the internet
>on 4chan
>on the monstergirl thread
Yeah no

>>24489394
I don't like being touched. Brain-sex is the way to go.

>>24489315
Fucking tranny you will never be a woman

>>24489419
black and pink is a really nice color combo cool recolor

>>24488822
i touched myself to a neko loli android hmv and i feel shame for touching myself to an hmv

>>24489419
Why is she so goddamn smug all the time?

>>24489187
they alp or go straight

>>24489532
She knows.

>>24489411
Look this is already off topic enough but there is a whole board for trannies and other faggotry already >>>/lgnt/ so yes there are xx chromosomed people on this site also if you want a girl board check /cgl/
>>24489473
Thank you

There's way too many monsters to wife for me.
Is it bad to have a harem of 18 girls?

>>24489596
just make sure you love all of them with your whole heart

>>24488294
Top tier

She's had years of practicing on dogs, giving them blowjobs and rim jobs, before she met me. Occasionally when we're not together she'll still touch up her blowjob and rim job skills on the neighborhood dogs.

>>24489596
Are they all different girls or it's a harem of a numerous race like mouses or khepris?

>>24489394
Uncuddled Yetis are rape machines waiting to pounce
https://files.catbox.moe/cs6jf0.jpg

>>24489610
I loved them all so much and equally too.

>>24489627
different girls.

>>24489642
Cute picture I want to make snow angles with yeti-chan now more than ever FUCK SUMMER

>>24489651
Then I think it's too many but that's just my opinion.

I have 2 wives I'm struggling not to include a third one

Fine, I'm convinced enough to not care if I'm being fooled. Sorry for doubting you.

>>24489651
A harem can be anysize so long as there is love

>>24489596
what monsters are the 18?

>>24489915
Baphomet
Raiju
Titania
Gazer
Kitsune
Gremlin
Chehsire Cat
Kikimora
Wight
Demon
Alice
Holstaur
Mad Hatter
Black Harpy
Kejourou
Bicorn
Redcap
Dark Elf

>>24489996
Good list
>Baph
>Gazer
>Gremlin
>Cheshire
>Black Harpy
Very good list. The others are also very good.

Wish he continues his story with the human heart breaking away slowly as days go by

>>24487494
>YouHaveToHelpMePleaseIKnowNothingAboutPoliticsIMessedUpAndDidntPayAttentionInClassAndNowIHaveToStartMakingDecisionsForTheKingdomOhGodPleaseHelpMeIllDoAnythingYouWantJustDontTellMamaIJustWantToBeAGoodPrincess
>”Listen lady, I’m just a male prostitute”

>Are you lost, bouya?

>>24490316
>She mishears you and thinks you said pro institute thinking that means you are a pro with institutions. Well you did promise you'd make her a queen time to go to the library and study with her

>>24489651
>I loved them all so much and equally too.
Yeah, as a statistic.

>>24488294
Orgasmic.

>>24490348
I wonder how many monsters get stuck in traps meant to catch boys

>>24488486
>Lamia
YES FINALLY

>>24489315
Who's your waifu? If the portals ever open I hope you get your wish

>>24488934
That’s strange, she normally isn’t that mean spirited. Is everything okay at home or with her friends?

>>24488486
>Dark elf
Time to eat that kuroeda booty

>>24489187
Bisexual in MGE means you fuck both a succubus and an alp

>>24489596
The only limit is your love and how much of the day you want to be lewd.
>>24489996
>Baphomet
>Kikimora
>Wight
>Demon
Got some similarities with our harems there and although the rest are different you have some nice taste.

>>24489473
That’s the wrong direction dumbass

>>24490690
Lava Golem

>>24490377
>bouya?
>Booyah!
>Booyah! Booyah! Booyah! Booyah!

>>24490690
The only thing the attentionwhoring alledged she would get from portals opening would be being turned into a monstergirl and getting her head fixed.

>>24490766
Good taste

>>24489315
>Monster Girls are so sexy, they make women want to be a man so they can fuck them
O I’m Laffin

the larger the breasts, the easier it is for monsters to assert dominance on the incubus prey.
incubi are sexually intimidated by monsters with threateningly big breasts.
I guess that explains why cows frighten me a lot. and horses

>>24488904
But what if I make a trap by making her fall in love with me?

Titania's Law: All fairies and pixies have exclusive rights to your cock even if you say no to them.

>>24490870
What can I say hot girls, also I like how she can both be solid and liquid so it's the best of a slime and a rock elemental in one.

>>24490766
Look on the bright side, the lava is more like warm slime so it can go internally.

>>24490975
Wight's law: Any unmarried man is the common property of all unmarried zombies.

>>24488486
>Ochimusha
I guess it's time to become Shogun of Texas.

>>24490997
>>24490975
Would an undead fairy be the strongest

>>24490888
while not the same there are some weird chicks that would first thing the portals open try and become a monster

>>24491079
>there are some weird chicks
All 3dpd women are mentally ill in one way or another

>>24491079
>weird
That's pretty damn rational thing to do, they can't compete with monsters so why not join them? Plus all the benefits that come with becoming a superhuman

Is your vidya-playing waifu awaiting Cyberpunk 2077?

>>24491155
Why is it so hard for artists to get the proportions of a Switch right?

>>24491181
Nobody has one

>>24491091
don't even gotta restrict it to women all 3d are mentally ill

>>24487144
>>24487888
>Tall and haughty Demon mistress rewards you with a boobhug where your head basically disappears into her cleavage.
>Because of mamono magic shenanigans you start cumming uncontrollably
Demons are scary

>>24489596
Thats a bit excessive, but you do you.

>>24491079
>weird chicks
>going for immortality, unaging beauty and great sex life
Low IQ post.

>>24491155
>Nintendo Switch
So anyway, where's the third person of your relationship in that pic? Surely you guys don't treat your precious bull as a glorified walking sex toy that just pleases your wife and then walks off into the night? They should be part of the family too you know.

>>24491144
Becoming physically unable to be unfaithful would alone be an instant dealbreaker to 100% of females.

>>24491285
Enjoy your censored content and Druckmann cuck fantasies

SEETHING SNOY

>>24491285
I'm sure they treat their Minotaur like she deserves.

>>24491292

>>24491320
Soon I can play Death Stranding on my PC

>>24491292
>>>/r9k/

>>24491341
mouse butt cheeks

>>24491341
What's that? I can't hear you over the sound of all this delicious food I can afford with the money I didn't spend on a computer that's already obsolete by the time you take it out of the box!

Try turning down those cooling fans before you get a noise complaint!

>>24491339
>>24491378
You got really eager to white knight the moment someone claiming to a girl posted in the thread.

>>24491378
>/hbt/ MGnon recounts this one time some boy came up to her
>Somehow ended up falling over with spaghetti spilling out of his pockets

>>24491420
>When monster and man both spill spaghetti at the same time
if only a cupid had shot them both

>>24491339
>>24491378
Why are you booing? He's right.

>>24491401
>Seething incel blames others for his problems
>Considers himself the winner

Okay, I'm bored now. Don't you have some restrooms to clean up? Better hurry before your boss notices.

>>24491397
My computer is like 9 years old, dude

>>24491460
just like my daughteru!

What kinds of monsters would even post on /hbt/ surely no high class monster would be in those threads

Make sure to give every waifu some love, even if some of them are a bit chuuni

The thread quality has taken a sudden nosedive. We've discussed blowjobs already. How good are you wife's tits. Can she perform paizuri? Can she perform naizuri?

>>24491496
>even if some of them are a bit chuuni
>Chuuni monster gets her friends to help be her special effects

>>24491457
Alright roach, now that you're done showing everyone you're retarded feel free to skitter back to your social media account.

>>24491496
Does it count as chuuni if they actually do have powers?

Contemporary Western women are too superior to be turned into monstergirl filth.

>>24491401
Far from it, some women cheat just as some men do. Debatable if women cheat more and I'd give you that but claiming all do just makes you look like you only like monster girls as a last resort rather than genuinely love them.

>>24491285
Try to hide your crossboarding stench or leave

>>24491571
Just because they have powers doesn't make them huge dorks calling out attack names when they see a cute boy and try and ask him out

>>24491504
Big Kej titties are made for fucking while she gives a hairjob

>>24491496
I shower my ultra-chimaera wife with tons of love

>>24491055
Undead fairies are the kind of encounter that slaps your entire party with every single debuff in existence before you even notice they’re there.

Would you recite the lines of King Theoden if your Phantom asked you to?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVEYcTyj1Do

>>24491643
Yeah but they are so frail that if you can catch them you can easily shove them down your pants

>>24491504
She gives a divine naizuri.

I've got a few dark fantasies involving paizuri, so she can use potions to help with that, but she usually just uses them for a bit of non-lewd relaxation. The last thing she wants is to make me seriously traumatized by big tits.

>>24491504
Yeah she's got big tits. Not too good on judging sizes but they're nice, big, and I want my face between them.

>>24491504
which is better nai or pai?

>>24491504
She's got good sized breasts, nothing out of the ordinary there. It's harder for her to grip her breasts with her wings, but her paizuri is still good.

>>24491754
Pai obviously. You're surrounded by soft squishiness. Nai is just rubbing your cock on a flat surface, it can't compete.

>>24491504
her lacking chest leaves her with naizuri

>>24491688
Okay, but how are you going to explain to the rest of your group why your dick now has Poison Petrified Slow Confused Weak and Silence?

>>24491792
You have no idea mate

>>24491504
Let's discuss finnish rape elves haHa! xd

>>24491860
Nah I do.

>>24491792
There are plenty of clumsy and unskilled girls out there that go through life as total amateurs due to their collosal tits.

Naizuri requires technique and practice by default in order to succeed.

>>24491816
just tell them you sprinkle voodoo powder on your meals because your build makes you stronger each with each debuff
>>24491860
>>24491884
this, i'll always love my wife's small chest.

>>24491755
>It's harder for her to grip her breasts with her wings
Get her a tight outfit with a boob window, so the material applies some pressure on her tits. That way she can just squeeze you inside, then rock herself back and forth so you don't even need to thrust.

>>24491816
just cum on her

>>24491878
Benis!

>>24491878
being raped by an elf speaking a language you don't understand is scary

>>24491878
>>24491939
Don't give them ES

>>24491954
Finnish cannot be used for talking dirty.

>>24491882
Then you should know better.
Besides, by your own reasoning why bother with titfucks when they have a pussy? That’s 100% coverage.

>>24491954
sounds hot when a monster slips back into her mother tongue because she is that lustful

>>24491965
Fug Mage, gib ES or els!

>>24491878
This but without being ironic about it.

>>24491939
>"haha benis in bagina :-------D"
>those are the last words you hear before finnish elf drops her hips onto your crotch

>>24491954
It's hot as fuck actually. Although I usually like to imagine it in a Zipangu context.

>>24491684
Given she has reality shifting powers, yes. Definitely.

>>24491994
Tekeli-liTekeli-li

>>24491969
Any language can be used for talking dirty if you don't understand it.

>>24491994
>The Black Elves were friendly enough at first, but eventually... I've thought back to that day so many times. I must have mistranslated.
>Something must have been mixed up, because the Black Elves decided we weren't going to leave without rape. The rest is history

>>24492100
But if you do, it becomes awkward.

>>24492029
I'm taking a shot in the dark here, but do you like listening to un-subbed Japanese asmr, because you can focus on the voice and the tingles rather than the cringe dialogue and the unnerving fact you are listening to a recording of a person's voice?

>>24491986
why bother with pussy when you can rub it on their meaty tail?

>>24492065
Sure is absolute scarousal when a chaos girl goes native

>>24492065
>tfw shogs are shouting the Elder Thing equivalent of “what’s good nigga?” without realizing it

She’s with some of her best mates from Finland, who have consumed their own weight in champagne and beer

>>24492192
I'm gonna say the T-word.

>>24492136
Scales.

>>24492216
that's what the underside is for, just roll her over and rub it back and forth near her holes.

I like spider

>>24491504
>muh posting quality
Unironically hang yourself.

>>24492132
Occasionally, but I sometime like to listen with subs on for context.

>>24492244
Spiders are awesome because they can instantly make comfy resting places

Anyone remember who did that oneshot where a guy's like "gotta defeat the evil" so he makes a contract with a fox? girl who says "yeah we can defeat the evil but I'm gonna eat you" and then they do that and then he gets eaten (sexually) and it's awkward?

>>24492264
Same. I just can't do English asmr. A real gf would change that

But I get a bit proud of myself when I hear a Japanese word I recognize.

>>24492065
Now imagine a Finnish Shog

>>24492207
>No Shoggy don’t do it that’s racist

>>24492146
I'd panic every time, thinking some ancient demon lord in hiding managed to suppress current DL's mamono magic and reset monsters to the old ways.

>>24492300
This sounds autistic, but I hate audio recordings for erotic purposes. They all sound “3D” and cringey.

>>24492338
>she always breaks character at the last minute and turns lewd

>>24492288
Yeah, I think it was non-H and Nanashi drew it?

>>24492337
yeah i cringe hard when people try to do voice asmr but hit me the fuck up with head massage and combing sounds

>>24492385
Now imagine it's your wife giving you a head message next time

What kind of non-sexual sports would be at the Monster Olympics? Like I could see
>Competitive Cleaning
Kikis, Shots, and Automatons would excel
>Tail Strength
I bet dragons would dominate there
>Flying
either speed, precision or style could be multiple events centered around flying monsters

>>24492300
>Same. I just can't do English asmr
There's some mge asmr porn out there, written by fans who get people to read it. It's not the best but it's the closest I'll come to a monster girl talking to me.

>>24492384
https://mangadex.org/title/42967/a-tale-of-being-eaten-by-a-man-eating-youkai

there we go. thanks.

>>24492452
Necromancers could have competitive undead raising where they have to raise a girl and have their zombie finish an obstacle course

>>24492452
Wrestling non-sexually might be a challenge for some

>>24492469
>Cheshire riddles
>when Sphinxes exist
Why

>>24491378
>>24491339
He's right you know. Imagine them looking around seeing 5/10 dudes with genuinely happy 11/10 bombshells.

>>24492712
>Cheshire riddles
Are they at least absurd?

>>24492452
Winter Town would be amazing in the winter olympics

>>24491504
>Naizuri
You know... isn't really deep paizuri also naizuri? The latter is just rubbing a flat chest. Is that not what the space between the giant boobs is?

>>24492726
Monty Python Bridge of Death tier

>>24492741
just you watch the Salamander bobsleigh team is amazing

Shitposting hound!

>>24492787
Ah yes.
Smug vodka dog.
I would like to pet it.

>>24491954
>He doesn't want to get get kidnapped and wake up naked and tied to a pillar surrounded by high elves all talking laughing and chatting in high elven
>He doesn't want them to casually keep chatting and ignoring his presence while milking his cock into wine glasses when they want a drink
>He doesn't want the party to devolve as they start snorting mana and take their sips from the source
>And eventually take it in their other mouth
>All while they keep ignoring your existence, chatting away in high elven
>Untill they get really REALLY out of it
>But even then they're just riding you against the pillar, moaning in slurred elven or looking directly into your eyes and muttering softly.

It's a pet or be pet world out there

>>24492741
>Wendidad wins all the strongman events
>Wendi family cheering him on from the stands waving their banners and signs
>Ice Queens and Glacies dominate figure skating, speed skating, and hockey events
>Yetis, although they need custom boards to fit their paws, get a podium finish in every snowboarding event
>White Horns win biathlon by several minutes over everyone else by sprinting through deep snow
Winterstown's medal count would be leagues ahead of all other regions

>>24492712
I haven't seen any cheshire ones but there's a few lewd manticores and hellhounds.

>>24492831
second place is the real 1st place

>>24492831
Does Papa Wendi compete as coatmonster or as gruff mcbuff guy form?

>>24492452
This is kinda interesting I have an idea
>go to this link
https://monstergirlencyclopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Special:RandomInCategory/Mamono
>come up with an interesting competition event for the monster you got

>>24492830
It's too late for me, i'm the pet of 18 different monsters...

>>24492929
>Nurarihyon
Well this one is obvious it's whoever can make the biggest smoke ring

>>24492929
>Hinezumi
Some kind of sparring, obviously

>>24492929
>Kobold
Fastest long distance fetch

>>24492876
Gruff Mcbuff form - buffalo plaid shirt with sleeves rolled up, pants with no belt needed, and mountainman beard perfectly trimmed

>>24492929
>Alp
Largest deep-throat competition.

>>24492929
>Bubble slime
The fastest they can cleanse a pool.

>>24493066
could also do fattest spade tail competition

>>24492929
>Dark Valkyrie
Aerial jousting.

>>24493115
That's an innate quality, not something that is a demonstration of skill.

>>24493135
so like body building competitions

>>24492929
>Hobgoblin
Essentially it's how they choose their leader. Goblins with big tits line up and the crowd votes on who's the biggest

>>24485462
My uncle's dog got euthanized today.
Post cute wans in memory.

>>24493001
>And the 400m fetch event has started. Those pups are giving it their all. Who do you think will be the goodest girl Mark?
>They all are Jim, they all are.

>>24493176
All Dogs Go to Heaven!

>>24493176

>>24492929
>Mermaid
It's a triathlon. They compete on a swimming event, followed by a singing contest, followed by a saddest backstory storytelling.

>>24493158
Except body building competitions are pointless for MGs

>>24493228
>followed by a saddest backstory storytelling.
I wonder how many try the triple Ariel gambit with the little mermaid spin

>>24492929
>Bunyip
Standing long jump from water.

>"Hey Anon, my eyes are up here."
>"Is something wrong? You look nervous. Am I too close?"
>"You aren't scared, are you?"
>"Or could it be?"
>"Do you like getting cornered like this?"
>"Eyes up here, Anon. Do you like being forced to look a girl in the eye?"
>"Answer me, little Anon."

>>24491923
Hm. That might work as well.

>>24493326
>Do you like being forced to look a girl in the eye?
Fuck no I don't, I'm mega autistic when it comes to eye contact.

>>24493326
>my eyes are up here
I bet if you looked her in the eyes the whole time she would call you out for not looking at her tits

>>24493326
Doesn't she have a schedule to follow?
I doubt "giving anon an erection" is one of them.

>>24493326
No, I don't like eye contact or being close to others.

>>24493326
>glowing ears
Open your mouth, gotta see if you hit the mark first.

>>24493373
>>24493345
eye contact is good

>>24493326
I need this in my life. I'd want to relive it damn near every day

>>24493405
Kabedon is mandatory for all big dom girls.
The little dom girls can try but results may vary.

>>24493345
>>24493373
What's so bad about eye contact? The intimacy? And what's so bad about that? Does it make you feel good? Do you dislike feeling good?

>>24493434
Good is subjective anon, legitimate autism coupled with past childhood trauma makes it quite a bad time for me.

>>24493326
Unfortunately making eye contact with strangers for any extended period of time makes me very uncomfortable.

>>24493364
She's a monstergirl

Of course it is

>>24493326
Oh fuck, so that's how a big hellhound is going to coerce me into marriage

>>24493434
Not him, social anxiety and autism makes this hard.

>>24493461
Psychological issues, like any other medical issue, should be addressed and treated properly. You deserve to be happy, in the same way you deserve to be healthy. And the only way to get over this issue is to address it little by little, one step at a time.

>>24493494
Me too

>>24493326
This is how a woman should assert dominance. Get close, grab you and make you look her in the eye. No getting away from it, you're going to pay attention to her now boy.

>>24493473
Clearly the answer for her is to not be a stranger anymore.

>>24493482
Precisely.

>>24493512
But of course. And it follows that the best and most dominant girl should be the one that is the very best at eye contact.

>>24493555
>best
>objectively half as good
>your unconscious brain probably doesn’t even register it on the same level as ordinary eye contact due to the fundamental difference
Good jokes mate.

>>24493510
>Psychological issues, like any other medical issue, should be addressed and treated properly.
hmm yes, I know a good doctor for this kind of stuff
>>24489419

>>24489419
>>24493583
How do Flayers feel about earwax? I imagine they must run into it a lot in their line of work.

>>24493583
>woosh the problem is gone haha :D
>instead of working with your monster wife to treat the problem and grow closer as a result
NGMI

I’d still use their services to get a fetish wiped out though.

The second those legs lock around you is when you become the fox's property. Don't let it happen to you!

>>24493623
Tentacle mucus washes it right out

>>24493660
eew

>>24493658
>fox

>>24493658
We can go further
>Leglocked from behind
>She topples you over so you both fall to the ground, you on top of her facing away
>The fall is cushioned by her breasts, as your head slowly sinks into her cleavage
>That's when she starts assaulting your chest with her fingers and nails
>At the same time, her feet start sensually rubbing at your crotch
>You can either relax into her soft tit-flesh, or try and free your head
>But that would just expose your ears to her lips after a quick and easy repositioning

I think about this a lot.

>>24493639
>instead of working with your monster wife to treat the problem and grow closer as a result
True. I can't maintain eye contact with anyone even for a second, I guess waking up being pinned to the bed by my dominant monster wife refusing to let me go until I maintain eye contact long enough would be a more solid solution in the end.

>>24493768
Good. Very good. I used to have similar issues. Practice makes perfect, Anon. On that note, I still get squeamish over close physical contact beyond a handshake.

I imagine my waifu somewhat forcefully doing the same sort of thing to help me get over it.

>>24493213
That’s a lot of socks for a species that doesn’t wear shoes.

>>24493908
Dogs like tearing up socks.

>>24493908
You don't need to wear shoes to wear socks, socks are quite cute on their own.

>>24493768
>>24493818
Tactics would probably vary from monster to monster, with gentler species like foxes taking their time and easing you into it, while the less subtle species like it Minotaurs will probably go full force and try to win you over by “overpowering” the problem.

Interestingly for protectionfags, I reckon that Hellhounds would probably act more like the gentle species in this case due to their perception of men as delicate.

>>24493658
That's why you make foxes your property.
That's a dog acktualey.

>>24494050
This fox needs a real gag, not a tiny little weenie bitch gag like that one.

>>24493980
Either way works for me. I have a tendency to stop squirming after 5-10 seconds if the situation has not changed in any way. If a Mino just goes ahead a tightly hugs me for a bit, I'll eventually just relax after deciding it isn't so bad.

Actually, I think I may prefer it that way. Those sneaky foxes will start tripping my danger alarms if I feel like they are being TOO careful.

>>24494071
What are we talking about here? Something practical, something well-designed, or Jam-Orbital tier?

>>24494135
Yes.

>>24493658
>fox
>no tails

>>24494149
I like foxes that aren't suffocating.

us your wife the kind of wife that call hot dogs "bunned wee wees"?

>>24494229
I prefer mine with tits that have the potential to be.

>>24494188
Also known as why I just can’t like houtengeki‘s girls.

>>24494237
If she heard someone use that language she’d probably teleother them without a moment’s hesitation.

>>24493980
It also depends on the person in question. Some people can be talked into leaving their comfort zone, others need to be dragged kicking and screaming out of it. I need a more forceful approach to make me overcome my weakness, while others would only resist more upon being forced.
I guess it's one of the reasons why MGs ability to sense perfect match is so important, unlike humans, they have strongly defined characteristics that vary from species to species, so a mismatch could end in a disaster.

>>24493581
>half as good
5.5x multiplier

>>24494398
Sadly they’re lacking in the one place that actually matters for this.

>>24494229
I like foxes who can't easily escape their gags and start yapping.

>>24493326
>Do you like being forced to look a girl in the eye?"
No. It's very uncomfortable.

>>24494560

I also think it's very uncomfortable, but I enjoy it.

>>24493980
>>24494356
>I need a more forceful approach to make me overcome my weakness
It'd take a forceful girl to bring me out of my shell, but I'd prefer if she was nice about it. Gentle femdom is perfect.

>>24494677
Gentle femdom is the best anon, good taste! Slow, affectionate sex where she takes the lead make my dick diamonds. Its too bad glorious Nippon seems to disagree, because finding femdom that isn't turbo sadism or immediately turns maledom is like finding gold dust.

>>24492810
This is top tier stuff. Having a high elf noble lady sit on your face while she is chatting and drinking with her girl friends is also great

>>24494818
>isn't turbo sadism or immediately turns maledom is like finding gold dust.
Tell me about it. It's either ballbusting cruelty or the roles are immediately swapped. I feel cheated.

Is your wife good at battle-fucking you?

>>24494831
>Face sitting.
You know, as good as that is I'd rather something more involved for this particular scene. Imagine, instead of a seat you're her lounge. There for her to lay across, maybe you can figure out some contortionist shit to still get a face full of elf puss, but the key element here is her laying on you casually, edging and jerking, and occasionally gracing you with her lips, before she takes advantage of a short lull in conversation, or some one else speaking for a quick deepthroat creampie, before she goes on to offer her opinion, while wiping the cum off her lips and chin with an elegant finger and licking it clean.

>>24494818
>>24494874
>finding femdom that isn't turbo sadism
Yes, it doesn't help I'm also into muscular women.
>or immediately turns maledom
>the roles are immediately swapped
Role swap has its appeal, but not like this.

>>24494954
Not at all out fuck-or-die kind of stuff, but we would occasionally have some nice passionate oiled-up wrestle sex.

>>24494496
I like foxes who won't say "no" because they are trying very hard to say "YES!" through the gag.

>>24494960
You could also just be eating her out while she gently squeezes your head with her divine high elf thighs. Of course you can't neglect her friends though.

>>24494973
Assertive, but gentle?

Remember to sell your soul to a demon, they'll take good care of it.

>>24495044
One way of putting it, yeah.

>>24495067
Can I loan it instead?

>>24495039
Yeah but I dunno how you hold a conversation lying on your belly, which she's have to be doing. Unless you're positioned such that when they're all gathered and seated/relaxing, she's actually facing them, and just chatting around the cock infront of her face like it isn't there. Or blatanly deepthroating as politely as an elf can while her friends are talking.

That's kinda hot actually.

>>24495067
What if my soul gets B O G G E D?

>>24495098
I bet she will ride you silly at home when the party is over. Being a slave/servant in high elf land can be busy, but it is generally paradise

>>24495110
>Pic up the phone
>He sold?
>Pump it.
>Is getting fucked nonstop as his dick is getting "pumped"

>>24495096
Yes, but be careful to read the contract since they have a lot of clauses that might end up with them keeping it.

>>24494954
It's ALL she does
On the bright side I'm far more lean

>>24494473
>”Look me in the eye”
>Anon’s gaze keeps darting around as each eye
>”Just pick one and stick with it”

>>24495152
Aye. That would be great. Although there's another pleasure entirely in just being the palace adornment for a bunch of friends. A High Elven council perhaps, that meet to blow off steam as they discuss the politics of the land, and how frustrated they're growing with the lesser citizens getting men before them purely by dint of how they lay at the centre of it all.

It's as you're being passed around them and fucked senseless, having absolutely no clue what they're talking about - even though you're beginning to recognise some of their words - that all head turn to you. The first time in you've no clue how long they've actually directly acknowledged you.

And alas, to cope with the changing world, all the council unanimously elect you king, and they your queen consorts. And your life is changed from then on, as you become involved in elven houses, learn to protect yourself, are tutored in stateship and politics and gradually learn the reigns to your newfound kingdom while struggling to find acceptance as an outside, and fight against the preconception that you're little more than a pupp-

Ha, no. Nothing changes, except you wear a crown while they magically bind you to a pillar and milk you into fancy cups. Though you do earn some free time and a little exploration of the palace, that's neat. One of the more lore oriented members even permits you into her library. Of course, you're just a dick throne, but she does teach you the language and read her people's history to you. It helps her voice is like a hot afternoon's breeze through sunwarmed nectar.

>>24494954
She'd love for us to go at it in that way, but right now she just has me work out to try and build some muscles. Currently, I'd snap like a twig if she got even a little bit serious, and she isn't even from one of the major physical races.

That said, she can easily pacify me she's not in the mood for maledom, and can tell I'm really not putting my heart into it. So that's about the closest thing we do right now.

She's still working on my normal battle abilities, too.

If I already have a mg wife but walk around with a shirt saying “I want a hellhound too” what happens

>>24495184
That's how I imagine my hellhound wife helping me overcome my fears

>hey, you're not afraid of your own wife, right?
>if you are not afraid of ME, then what can you be afraid of?

200 IQ doggo

>>24495376
>>hey, you're not afraid of your own wife, right?
>I am
Now what?

>>24495281
Insatiable ancient high elf queens

>>24495325
You get two wives?

>>24495376
henpecked.jpg

>>24495281
I don't like responsibility anyway.

>>24495281
It's shit like this that makes me want to head down to the Elf Kingdom with my waifu, steal all their shit, and wreck the place.

I will become like Pelinal Whitestrake, except minus the "s" in "slaying".

>>24495532
They would use their magicks to turn your waifu into one of them. Stay far away from the elves.

>>24495547
Elves are just human thots with pointy ears. Their casting ability is all the more reason to shut them the fuck up.

>>24495407
They've been without babby far too long. Imagine all the princesses running around. I initially listed 9-27, but that's because I was imagining an upper limit of triplets and for some reason my brain leapt to 9 as a perfectly suitable number for council configuration. I've no idea why.
>>24495532
You risk deeply angering a man who's been the collective mana sink of some of the most powerful women the high elven race has to offer. Prolly not the brightest move, even if you do magically crash through an entire kingdom before reaching them.

I want to beg a dominant and lewd monster girl to ruin me and just have her cuddle me and tell me that she loves me instead.

>>24495547
>>24495595
While you two were busy making idle threats, we snuck in through the backdoor and escaped with a shit-ton of cultural and historical relics to pawn off to the Dark Elves.

>>24495595
God, I love breed-hungry elves and other creatures of course.

>>24495641
I mean, what's your wife? What's the feasibility of avoiding every single sentry, animate and inanimate, mundane and magical, and bypassing all the centuries old enforced and reinforced sorceries and wards cast? Like she better be a lilim and not just any lilim, a lilim that is specifically geared towards stealing shit. Some grey fox styled bullshit. Maybe then I'll buy your story.

>>24495641
It belongs in a museum.

>>24495641
Dark elves are worse. You should steal from them too.

I want an elf and a dwarf to fight over my cock, both naked and covered in oil