/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Sandworms!

Hellhounds!

I am a loyal servant of the holy pharaoh and a slave to her divine ass!

So uh, how do you marry a girl from the mofu mafia?

>ywn be a really handsome, suave incubus dating a very nerdy monster girl with thick glasses, braces, and lisp

>>23943198
Dea Vult!

What is better Amazons or Ocelomehs?

>>23943221
Pretty good, though I would go for this, but with a human girl who wants to become a monster girl and be dicked hard

>>23943241
Cats are more fun.

>>23943241
I would consider Amazons top tier, but I find public sex to be a turn off. Ocelomeh have that in reverse and don't like displays of affection in public, which is not optimal, but less bad. I also like their looks better, so Ocelomeh win.

Ruining Angels!

Oni!

>>23943296
That never gets old

3tails1soul

>>23943263
As long as she remains as nerdy after monsterizing.

Youkai hunters!

>>23943328
Nerdy, but pregnant

>>23937088
You have job offerings. https://imgur.com/JZAxuCL

I can't post picture because I'm range blocked from doing so.

>>23943315
Gonna need more hands just to supply pats.

>>23943349
Careful, she isn't as innocent as she seems.

>>23943329
>Volume Nij.

>>23943355
That's what I like about her.

>>23943355
I am aware, I just don't care.

>Suit stores across the world suddenly have an influx of Succs, Demons and other hell related monsters

>>23943315
>3 for the price of one
Best value for waifu

>>23943277
>I would consider Amazons top tier
Top tier at what? Fighting?

>>23943241
Amazons, cause she's muh waifu.

>>23943355
What do you mean she isn't innocent she looks very innocent

>>23943374
"Queen" (in the vein of Queen Slimes) is a top-tier wife trait.
And this business has really got me thinking about how it might work with my waifu.

>>23943378
There's just something about being a submissive househusband to a fierce warrior that makes me diamonds.

>>23943355
I want to drown in their tit flesh.

>>23943241
Amazons

>>23943397
there should be more amazon art

>>23943397
>Amazons, cause she's muh waifu.
You're the first person I've seen in a long, long time who's said they have an Amazon waifu.
Not my cuppa but good on you.

>>23943497
Cute Yuugi.

>>23943183

>You wanted to see this, mastah?

>>23943561
She's a cutie

I love liches!

>>23943636
>short, big titty liches
i love them too

>>23943770
What a nerd

Since it seems we're in that kind of mood right now...

>>23943355
>>23943411
Trustworthy chompers.

what monster for this feel?

>>23943950
nice dogs petting for all of them they remind me of albino hellhounds

>>23943980
They definitely great, but they aren't nearly as fierce as Hellhounds.

>>23943978
Is this the bike guy?

How nice are heavenhounds

>>23944044
Dogs don't go to heaven

>>23943978
For me, it's a 6'5 werewolf.

How would you feel about your waifu unironically call you handsome.

>>23944044
Big fluffy Samoyed girls that flop on you and won't get up.

God, I want to be treaty like property by a lolibaba mamono

>>23944075
Doesn't feel like anything. Never knew how to respond to flattery.

>>23943978
>Are women less than 20' long even women?

>>23944082
>treaty
I also want one to put me to bed

>>23944044
white or black those hounds rape just the same

>>23944075
>receiving positive feedback
my brain cannot process that.

>>23944075
In my deepest thoughts I'd think she's lying or make fun of me.

>>23944135
making*

>>23944075
It's nice of her, but I don't think I could make a good husband to a blind woman.

Youkai-hunting mikos are for corrupting to the Sabbath. Bonus if they air their armpits out in the open or have green hair.

>>23944287
Isn't the former already a CC?
She's been solving crises for over 20 years now.

I love foxes

Lewds have arrived.
https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/81821486

>>23944318
I want to corrupt and breed with the bitchy in-denial CC miko

>>23938457
Wasn’t there a green text about anon’s girlfriend making him breakfast while in bondage?

>>23943241
Amazons; spade tails are superior.

>>23944484
Also I bet she has a really nice figure with wide hips. All of that exposure to youkai mamono would definitely have an effect on a human miko

>>23944630
Would rub sunscreen on her.

>>23944689
What would be her reaction? She has to be grateful for such a devoted and hardworking husband

>>23944630
matriarchy is cool!

>>23944630
She could punch me and I would say "Thank you."

>>23944780
You will be too occupied to be saying that when you are eating out the tribe chieftess

how would your daughteru react when she finds out she was a rape baby?

>>23944858
>....you're weird....
>I like you!

>>23944886
Anon is hopelessly in love!

>>23944882
>Rape mom again, I want a sister

>>23944901
Amazon putting him over her shoulder in a cave(wo)man lift with a big genki smile on her face.

>>23944913
>not "Rape dad again"
Silly daughteru

>>23944937
That works too. Probably more common

I don't even know why I'm here
I don't even like monster girls
I'm so lonely

Date the cow anon, or else

>>23943978
She looks like a landwhale

>>23945005
Damn this Fox. I'm not letting some dumb raging bull get me!

>>23945005
Alas, a cruel fate.

>>23945005
Is she standing outside?

>>23945005
The one from the original greentext? What a shitty attempt at blackmail, I'd accept that Holst/Mino instantly.

>>23945053
It’s only blackmail if you don’t accept

>>23945053
It's obviously a bribe disguised as blackmail

>Picture on right: Payment dispute between reporter and editor.

>>23945005
>>23945053
>That's right boya. Remember, no condoms.

>Picture on left: Payment dispute between reporter and editor.

>>23945151
I thought it was the heimlich maneuver.

what would get you beaten up by a group of monsters?

>>23945160
That's only what someone unchosen by the sabbath sees.

>try to take a nap on park bench
>wake up under a pile of yetis

>>23943194

>>23943070
Oh jeez, that's a cute succ.

>>23945160
It's the Huff and Pump maneuver.

>>23945308
Either no one can make proper seals, or this Succ is stronger than she looks.

What is the worst piece of MGE fiction you have ever read?

>>23945344
The one I wrote way back in the day.

>>23943159

>>23945321
That's more the summoner's fault for using the formula of Incarnadine Ingress rather than the Sealed Summoning of Succ. It's important to use the correct spell formulae and magic lores in all your conjuration activities, to avoid impromptu marriages.

>>23945344
Putting Hellhounds to sleep at the vet

>>23945344
why haven't there been any hellhound fics ever since this weird muslim christmas one?

>>23945344
one where anakin skywalker shouts "FEEL THE FORCE" as he cums
That or grogori's hatread

>not liking fairies

Shameful.

>>23945387
where can i find the vet fic?

>>23945433
Bitch, we don't like fairies, we fucking love fairies!

>>23945433
I only want their older sister the nice Titania

>>23945433

>>23945482
Fairy Dragon is CUTE.

It's a shame reverse-gender suspended congress pictures are still nearly nonexistent.

>>23945529

>>23945344
I wrote a story about a guy who got kicked out of his Order home, tries to protect it because his friends and family live there but ends up seeing it get nuked by a giant monster mana bomb, gets hunted down by the demon realm army, gets kidnapped and taken to a secluded cabin by his new monster friends to protect him from the rape-driven demons and beasts of the demon realm that want him in jail.

I wanna hug the yeti from behind so they cant hug back

>>23945433
i like fairies but there's no good fairy porn on the interwebs

>>23945582
Promise her cuddles and make her the little spoon.

>>23945540
She's going to save up a right proper hoard, one penny at a time.

>>23945582
Rookie move, any Yeti with basic Close Quarters Cuddling can loosen your hug, turn around, and hug you right back! And that's not even going into reverse leg lock.

>>23945597

Finally my Sally wife has been realized!

>>23945611
What's this from?

>>23945615
Look out she's got a billhook!

>>23945390
There have been, you just weren't here for them I guess.
https://pastebin.com/RxKXK6Lc

>>23945344
I'm not sure if I would call it "bad", but I disliked the Lanternanon series. It felt like a story barely related to MGE, and the protagonist was kind of an asshole. It just didn't connect for me.

>>23945615
She's pretty cute but what's wrong that weird choice of weaponry?

>>23945761
You never heard of a billhook?

Is it okay to have a monster waifu and a human waifu? Discuss.
Also.
>Post best girl to star in the music video to this with.
(NSFW) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtZIiMF1cKQ
(NSFW)
Also, in the animatrix, The machines shot first.
Fite me.

>>23944078
>tfw no Samoyed onee-san who constantly makes you both late for school because she doesn’t want to get out of your bed with you

>>23945005
>>23945136
I wanna marry a mob boss and have her flustered at work!
>walk in on a meeting between the Kitsunes and the Tanuki
>”A-Anon! What are you doing here!?!?”
>”You left your lunch at home so I decided to take you out for a lunch date instead!”
>mob boss wife is just red with a mixture of love and embarrassment

Ochis gently but firmly hugging you from behind.

>>23945935

>>23945955
Such inappropriate behavior for a vassal. She'd better come to my bedchambers tonight for a stern, hours-long lecture.

>>23944622
You mean
>>23936928?

Remember that she tastes like molasses! Be sure to eat her all up! Especially down below

what's the rate of sexual assault cases in the demon realm in the last year?

>>23946009
100%

>>23946009
something something 13% hellhounds

>>23946039
Where would Gap-Hag rank in the world of MG?

>>23945433
I want to cuddle a fairy!

Can you even call yourself a good son if you aren't stretching out your momster's holes with your incubus dick?

>>23946125

>>23946129
Silly fox. Sons don't marry their mothers. Sons grow up and marry another woman to make more sons.

>>23946139
Anon, single momsters make the perfect wives for their sons. They combine motherly love with monster love. Way more than you'd get from some random girl.

>>23946157
>momster learns her son's favourite hangouts on the internet to mompost in them
>owns 20+ sockpuppet accounts to talk about sons fucking their mothers
>installs a network filter that blocks sabbath propaganda and replaces them with pro-mom boning ads

>>23944441
such mysterious creatures

>>23946157
NTR on the father with the son?

>>23946134
Reimu is mean.

Which monster would be the worst at being a childhood friend

>>23946228
Sandworm has some logistical difficulties.

>>23946194
>>momster learns her son's favourite hangouts on the internet to mompost in them
>momposting
What would that even look like? Would they spam their sons favorite food recipes? Or would they put up those old pictures of their old modeling days onto the site in hopes their son would see it?

I want a hellhound to walk me around on a leash and publicly humiliate me.

>>23946228
Any sabbath members pretending to be your childhood friend while in fact they are well over 1000 years old.

>>23946228
A Baphomet, since she's actually hundreds of years old and just pretending to be a kid.

How does a momster explain the birds and the bees

>>23946278
That’s cool. I still want to do that to a genki childhood friend Hellhound instead.
>tfw your best friend/waifu will never get super excited to go on 'a walk’ with you

>>23946284
>>23946283
>how do you do fellow kids

>>23946291
X-ray magic.

>>23946272
I imagine he makes a thread asking what to do about her mom constantly teasing him and instantly gets 20 replies saying

>Imagine not breeding your momster baka
>Just give it a try anon! I fuck my momster every night and I love it
>It seems she's just lonely anon, why don't you go to bed with her tonight and keep her company?
>>He doesn't fuck his mom

Taking walks are a great way to connect with your partner.

Imagine growing up near a p'orcer stronghold. All the little p'orcers running around. They bully you constantly, but eventually, they let you play whatever game with them, and you kick their asses at it and win. Then from that day forward, they start treating you nicely and fawning over you. And this attitude carries on into adulthood and you end up becoming the chief to a new p'orcer stronghold of your own

>>23946312
I wonder what Xbox Live is like with all the twelvies making "your mom" insults.

>>23946345
I hope a Cheshire doesn't find out where I live after I beat her in game

>>23946343
This is wholesome fun. I would hate to be that anon though, because I was too dense for my own good when I was younger.

>>23946322
I'm gonna stock up on stamina potions and raise that obedience stat

>>23946343
If it's one of the more reasonable P'Orc Strongholds your village might trade with them. P'Orcs know how to make great BBQ after all.
In exchange for tribute they can even act as protection from other neighboring Monsters. P'Orc warriors standing at the village gates in guard outfits with crude weapons and armor, they're strong but not too bright, so they've been ordered to follow the orders of a villager who acts as their captain.
The village stays safe, and young men are chosen to be sent to the P'Orc stronghold, where they reside within the stronghold's breeding pit.

>>23946343
Though you know what they say: losing is fun.

>tfw you will never crank your automaton's artificial womb up to the "sextuplets" setting
I really wish I had an old, super-heavy automaton to turn into a baby factory.

>>23946533
Outdated warmachine-class Automatons are an excellent pick for conversion into the breeder type.

>>23946550
Especially since they have a lot of "shock-absorption padding". Have to make sure to swap out her ion cannons for calcium cannons.

>>23946533
I hear you.
Gonna set a huge siege model to have her daughteru-creation unit set to 'overload'

>>23946359
>you dominate her in tf2
>she dominates you in IRL

>>23946612
>you get revenge IRL

>>23946577
Glad gremtec made the calcium upgrade and inclusion in their conversion kits.

>>23945482
They keep drinking all my beer, though

>>23946659
High time you start love-fucking them then!

>>23946647
Bad girl! Not on the bed!

I wanna fuck a nine-tailed fox. Then I turn my attention to a twin tailed cat.

>>23946650
I'd pay her an unusual hat for her to let me dom her

>>23946580
"Overload" sounds like a dangerous setting. The kind you use when you want her so heavily pregnant, even a former seige model's powerful hydraulics won't be able to move her.

>>23946735
You say that like its a bad thing.
Or that I'm going to listen to the warning she gives when I set it to that.

>>23946712
*blocks your path*

>the neighborhood CCs have gotten together to talk about the cute, young human boys they've recently fallen in love with
>none of them have realized they are all talking about the same Anon down the street.

>>23946756
Get out of here, trash panda

>>23946766
>they each describe only one quality about him

>>23946768
You cannot move the hag.

>>23946786
Okay granny, time to go back to the retirement home.

>>23946786
I don't intend to touch the old dusty hag. I only want the cat and the fox.

>>23946751
>"Dear User, I must advise against changing this setting. I'll be unable to move and require increased amounts of your fluids while I manufacture your children. Do you wish to continue?"
>[X] No / [ ] Yes
>as you move your finger to tap "Yes," the cursor moves on it's own and clicks it before you
>"So you've chosen."
>"But I didn't-"
>"I shall change settings as my Dear User wishes. Changing User designation to 'Father-Unit'."

>>23946129
I hope that fox understands she is going to be kept pregnant as often as possible.

>>23946862
That's most likely when her legs vice grip behind you and lock you in.

I want to go look for a Demon at a law firm, but i'm sure it's filled with Tanukis. I fucking hate Tanukis, at least with a Demon i know what i'm getting into when i put that firm, with Danukis it's just getting jewed until you are forced to repay the debt with sex. Who even assures me the Demons at the firm aren't just Danukis using illusion magic to deceive me into a shit contract. Fuck i hate Tanukis so much i want to bonk one with a hammer

>>23946712
I love old foxes

>>23946862
But I WAS going to choose yes.
If anything she may start stammering how she wasn't designed to be a 'manufacturing unit' only for me to keep pressing yes and confirm.

>>23946862
>I AM YOUR WAIFU. SPREAD YOUR LEGS AND SURRENDER YOUR SPERM. I WILL ADD YOUR BIOLOGICAL DISTINCTIVENESS INTO MY OWN. I WILL ADAPT TO SERVICE YOU. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

Stop talking about foxes

I want to buy a sex Automaton and swap roles with her. Is the reprogramming difficult or just changing some settings?

>>23947079
>reprogramming ancient, undocumented, gremlintech code
Surely nothing bad will come out of this

>>23947127
If that's too difficult, I can just ask a Gremlin professional.

>>23943159

>>23946862
>Father-Unit'
For some odd reason I love this name and I want automaton daughterus just so they can call me that.
>”Father-Unit, AM-1 and L1S4 require funds to go out with friends this weekend.”

>>23947069
Never

>>23947069
Why? Are you jealous about how much love they’re getting? If so, what MG do you want us to talk about?

>>23947173
>Fine but L1s4 will need to watch her sugar intake, otherwise she'll need some braces.
>"L1s4 needs braces?
>Not yet.

>>23947173
>"AM-1 unit, your request for funding was denied"
>"Initiating non-compliance protocol: TANTRUM"
>"Parental Override requested, do not activate proco-"
>"ENGAGED"

>>23947173
I would start talking to my daughters mechanically.
>"Homework status: Uncompleted. Requisitions request: Denied."

>>23947069
Foxes go with everything.

>>23947187
Foxes

>>23947235
>no cute sphinx daughteru to play riddles with
why live

>>23947173
>you play some old video games you live with your automaton daughterus
>now they won’t stop calling organic beings ‘meatbags’

>>23947265
>”Daddy I have a riddle for you; who’s the bestest daddy in the whole wide world?”

fetishizing youth is disgusting, life begins for one in their 30s/40s. Find a mature succ who already delved far so she can help you in your journey.

>>23947265

Do you have any good riddles, anon? Better practice.

>>23947297
The best ones are the ones who’ve given up on ever finding true love. Those are the girls you need to go after; like a Ryu in a run down shrine that no one visits anymore, or an older automaton who is just mindlessly doing her routes in some dungeon, or a Succubus who is drowning her sorrows at the end of the bar you go to every Friday night.

>>23947297
>fetishizing youth is disgusting
But Anon, I want an older monster to lust after my hot, young, shota body.

>>23947297
What's the prime age for a Succubus then?

>>23947195
>automaton with braces
Cute.

>>23947195
Just call the Mother-Unit, that usually stops her tantrums.

>>23947213
Good dad. Make sure their homework is done before you give them their allowance.

>>23947398
Probably like somewhere in the 200-300 range

>>23947265
Well, go ahead and make some

>>23947398
>170
Just ripe enough to not completely given up all hope in love but will still rock your world on prom night.

>>23947417
Daughters or riddles?

>>23947406
They're cute daughterus.

>>23947195
SO LONG DENTAL PLAN

>>23947337

I always move with you, close, near, or far
I am ever with you, wherever you are.
I'm clearest by day and biggest by night,
But am I really here, or just a block of the light?
What am I?

>>23947450
Depression

>>23947522

Oof, anon. But no, something more physical, less mental than that.

>>23947450
shadow

>>23947297
Go back to bed, obaasan

>>23947593

Bingo.

>>23947337

Could I rely on a sphinx daughteru to not just google for an answer? Or would I need to make my own riddles?

>>23947631
I imagine the sphinx's curse small print includes not using resources other than your own memory. But I imagine making up riddles for your daughters is seen as super sweet by sphinxes, and your wife would probably help you out there.

>>23947657
>you’re in the kitchen with a beer, a pen, and a notepad making riddles for your Sphinx daughteru late at night
>your waifu comes in and asks what you’re doing
>you tell her and she puts on a beautiful smile and tells you to wait there
>she comes back with two boxes of notebooks filled with riddles she came up with

>>23947600
Inside a green house is a white house. Inside a white house is a red house. Inside a red house is a bunch of little babies.

Surely the school's ever-popular Queen Bee would never be interested in someday starting a hive with the nerdy human boy, right?

>>23947756
You can have the bee girl, I want the Japanese Hornet girl who just transferred to school.

>>23947754

スイカ

>>23947754
What is a pregnant Alarune?

>>23947693
Sphinxes are the cutest

>>23947597
>No.

>>23947693
Someone's getting cuddled tonight

>>23947597
But she’s in my bed...

What do foxes actually think of fox/mofu sluts?

>>23945615
>pole arm
You're alright.

>>23943159
>https://pastebin.com/iBr2w8UQ
Wrote this story of a reunion between a man and his childhood friend who was monsterized into a Hobgoblin.

>>23945615
She looks dangerous.

>>23948089
like all monsters should to a degree

>>23948075
If this isn't a story about a girl who goes missing and turns up a decade or so later having been raised by goblins and turned into a hobgoblin, I'm going to be disappointed.

>>23947408
>>23947423
Is it really alright to let them be lonely that long?
That's how you end up with depressed cakes.

>>23948167
Depressed cakes for depressed anons.

besides fox, what are some species that are great to have as a grandmafu?

>>23948197
Elf

>>23948197
Vampire

>>23948167
Don't know, I'd take my succs so long as they're of legal age.

>>23948231
vampire is cheating.
I want to fuck an elderly-looking wrinkly, giga-titted, fat-assed, sexy, aged-like-fine-wine grandma with powerful seductive magic powers.
Not a forever-young-looking Yupiel. though Yupiel as your grandma lolibaba would be interesting.

>>23948197
Pharaoh

>>23948208
grandma elf sounds boring
why grandma elf?

>>23948167
Wouf. Let's counterbalance that right quick

>>23948167
I mean how else would someone lower their standards enough to want to date and marry me?

>>23948320
She makes the best toys of course!

There are a lot of "x is best at y" MGs, but what about "x is worst at y"?

>>23948427
Kitsunes are the absolute worst at chess. But they make up for it with their amazing shogi skills.

>>23948427
Anon is the worst at everything

>>23948468
I want to play chess against a kitsune so I can checkmating press her.

>>23948496
Anon is best at being rude though.

>>23948427
hellhound sucks at privilege

>>23948339
Succs are sluts for handholding.

>>23948509
I dunno, a Cheshire or Atlach-Nacha probably has him beat.

>>23948339
>CC succ so happy that she passes out from handholding

>>23948468
I want to body monsters in trivial games

>>23948684
What about Trivial Pursuit?

>>23948550
Oh, I'm taking that tanned succ home

Good night Anons, take care and don't burn down the thread.

Instead, get ready for the rat uprising.
They've been downtroden for too long, soon you'll feel their tiny wrath!

>>23948705
If she's really into it.

>>23948706
>man gets a genki tomboy succ wife from his first handholding event
You lucky devil, enjoy your life.

>>23948717
Nonsense, there are no such things as ratgirls.

Yo what’s up?

Are foxes dogs in the bodies of cats or cats in the bodies of dogs?

>>23948743
Autism, apparently.

>>23948717
Not if I kidnap their leader and turn her into a pregnant housewife.

>>23947286

I fail to see the problem.

>>23948684
>Monstergirl gets tag teamed "no u" between two players

>>23948755
>mousewife
FTFY

>>23948749
Both

>>23948779
I feel like that'd rile her up.
>"What'd you call me, punk? I ain't your stinkin' 'happy little mousewife', dangit! If I didn't have these little brats in my belly weighing me down, I'd come over and sock you."

>>23948684
Satan would look good in knee length black dress.

>>23948932
>yandere lust demon that considers romance lewd
She's just too good.

>>23948982
I do like a heart motif.

>>23948991
Heart pupils are always a good sign. Also a very dangerous sign.

Reminder to raccoon girls and tanukis are different, know the difference.

>>23948743
Shit taste as usual.

>>23949023
>know the difference.
what difference

>>23949023
Bully chub nukis until they have no choice but to become your wife.

>>23949064
Tanukis are good at math. Raccoons are not.

>>23948684
>Uno
Holy fuck I am not playing that with my waifu. I haven’t played in so long I’ll be rusty! Plus the last time I played it ended in a fist fight with my older brother. I get way too competitive on those games.

>>23949023
I'm gonna bully that trash panda so hard she'll never touch my trash bins again!

>>23949023
I'll bully them all the same.

>>23949067
Gonna bully the softie pregnant.

>>23949129
>she'll never touch my trash bins again!
Nice nickname for your genitals anon.

>>23949107
Always agree on the rules before staring.
>Jump In
>Draw One or Draw until Play
>Stack +2
>Stack +4
>Challenge +4
>Stack +2 and +4
>7 to swap hands
>0 to rotate hands

>>23949064
When a raccoon is rubbing it's hands together it's because of her desire to clean, when a tanuki does it's her desire to clean out your bank account.

>>23949172
so a raccoon maid is good?

>>23949129
>>23949141
>raccon girl keeps rummaging in my garbage
>I think she's searching for used tissues
>Finally have enough with the noise and come out
>Catch her easily, as she's too unathletic to run more than a couple of paces
>Bully her as hard as I can, tousling her hair, groping her (gods she's soft) and finally throw her out
>Next night hear noises again
>She's there, looking down, twiddling her thumbs, and blushing bright red
>"G-guess you caught me! A-are you gonna do that stuff again?"

>>23949184
She tries, but forgets the soap and likes to dumpster dive

>>23949184
They're a package deal.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6S27dgeGqfA&t=1m8s

>>23948411
>>23948167
Reading this causes chest pain.

>>23949207
>they're coming outta the goddamn walls.

>>23949277
what about when the walls are monsters

>>23949195
>grab her and carry her to the bathroom
>forcefully bathe her while also fondling her all over
>dry her off and give her some of your clothes that clearly don't fit her
>carry her to bed and use her as an incredibly soft daki
>molest her all night long but never put it in
>only let her fat ass hotdog your erection

>>23949195
>>23949364
Patrician taste

>>23949352
Then you might have a yandere shoggoth if she's got 11 raccooon maids trapped.

Lower caste monsters are forced to wear covering clothes while the higher class wear very little to cover them

>>23949373
Clearly she uses the raccoons as little helpers

>>23949426
This is discrimination!

Spending father-daughter time in the bedroom, masturbating together to some high-quality sabbath-sponsored cheese pizza on the wife's magitech computer!

>>23949483
that's the point the sticc higher class have to show off their body while the thicc and strong lower class are forced to cover up or they'd get all the men

>>23949364
>then in the morning you make waffles for the two of you
>you let her stay in your house while you leave for a bit to get some things
>when you come back you have a collar and a maids dress for her
>you then tell her that if she’s gonna start cleaning the trash cans she can also clean the rest of your house

>>23949504
>wealthiest 1% of a kingdom are all flat chested girls
>spend their money to make propaganda for flat chests and how they’re amazing
>also pay off officials to make laws against being too stacked
>shortstack girls are practically illegal now
>even with the propaganda and laws to help them they still can’t find a husband who’ll like them for them and not their money

>>23949548
>shortstack girls are practically illegal now
Time for a revolution.

>>23949548
tall flats are the best I want a cool tall flat dhampir to protect me

Uh-oh! You’ve caught the eye of the youngest daughter of the infamous Mozzarella family, one of the three mouse families that run the city! What do you do?

>>23949585
Sounds like she got caught in my mousetrap.

>>23949585
I go to their pizza shop and ask for a stuffed crust

>>23949626
you know they don't sell pizza pies there it's just a money laundering operation

How do we put an end to human male workplace harassment?

>>23949585
Take lewd, unbelievably degrading pictures of her when we're having sex and keep them as collateral as I forcefully move up in their ranks.

>>23949520
I don't know how much actual work she'd get done. I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off a soft, cute little maid like her.

>>23949670
That’s the point anon. You won’t be able to and when she is pregnant she’ll have to get her sisters involved in the maid work. Then rinse and repeat until you have a happy harem of raccoon maids.

>>23949637
but then where am I supposed to get a good pizza in this monster city

>>23949585
Become a maid man.

>>23949661
>implying I don't also get paid for eating out the demon boss from under her desk

Pulps are the best

>>23949703
Khepri Pizza is one of the best pizzas in town, hands down. And it’s a family run business with four generations working there!

>>23949662
>Forcefully move up in ranks
Hope you like being her personal house husband

>>23949815
that looks like something scary for monsters to see and get nightmares

>>23949911
I bet monster girl scary movies would be dull for men

>>23949995
Just watch the classics

>>23950015
Fat tail

>>23950015
>give her a scuba tank shaped bar gag

>>23949995
Monster horror movies would just be modern human romantic comedies and soap operas with more dramatic music.

>>23949815
That title doesn't make sense, why would she attack herself?

>>23950023
Nice.

>>23950015
What a cute shark we really don't get enough aquatic talk around here

>>23950025
>Notting Hill with Tubular Bells

>>23949637
They don't sell pizza pies
>Be you
>Walk into mozzarella's
>"Can I get a stuffed crust pepperoni pizza"
>Mouse girl behind counter starts to panic
>"S-sure thing sir, just give me a moment"
>Mouse girl runs out of sight
>Be mousegirl
>Someone actually wants to buy pizza
>You have no actual pizza supplies so you run to the boss to ask her what to do
>Boss tells you to bring the man to her
>Forget to notice man has microphone strapped to his shirt collar
Does this count as baby's first writefag?

>>23950035
This is true.

>>23950028
That's the Twilight Zone twist ending. The Shog maid got so yandere, she was jealous of herself all along.

>>23950046
>Does this count as baby's first writefag?
Depends on if there's a second or not.

>>23950046
>>23949637
>They finally get arrested for fraud
>But it's because they were repackaging heated up frozen pizzas.

>>23950046
Keep going, I want to see where this goes

>I am a nice shark, not a mindless raping machine. If I am to change this image, I must first change myself. Man is lover, not prey.

>>23950066
Surely the rat mafia would know how to make good food or they shame their nonna back in the old world with their cooking skills

>>23950077
Just remember to never cum in the same water as a shark it triggers their succubus instincts

>>23949815
>>23950028
>random woman just walking down the streets is traumatized by the horror of shoggoth self harm
I bet this is a PSA that they show in How to be a Good Master 101

>>23950046
What >>23950070 says.

>>23950050
fuck I want twilight zone with monsters

>>23950090
They do shame their nonna, by wasting their cooking skills and being dirty criminals

>>23950112
>she crosses the ocean to visit and forces them to go straight

>>23949637
What if they only sell pineapple and ham pizza?

>>23950090
I bet they're all named after pasta dishes, or kinds of cheese and the boss is their stacked mom.

I wanna break into a shoggoth house and steal some stuff only to realize that the corridors have shifted and now there's no way out.
And then I wanna go through the house to try and find way out but it's way bigger than it should be and a lot of other mind-fuckery.

>>23950149
Enjoy you're new home and maid

>>23950141
Brie is a very soft rat

>>23950141
>>23950220
What about the black sheep of the family, Risotto Nero?

>>23949759
e-even during meetings?
guess that explains how she gets through all that boring drivel

>>23950199
Another day, another mindbreak!

>>23949661
2 foot monster and man distance required

>>23950273
Sometimes. She is a rather no-nonsense demon though. When she calls for a meeting it means the meeting is important.

>>23950285
>2 foot monster and man distance required
>husband or wife must carry who ever is smaller so 2 feet are in use
>harem members, centaurs, lamias and slimes protest/riot

>>23950318
clearly it would only apply to single men

Shog for ultimate home security. Don't bother breaking in, you'll never leave.

>Walking through Wonderland
>March hare quickly jumps in front of you
>She's got a crazy, excited look on her face
>She asks you to use your wabbajack on her
>Confused, you ask her what she's talking about
>She only replies with "wabbajack, wabbajack, wabbajack, wabbajack!"
>Every thing you say to her from them on out gets that same reply

What would your waifu do if you found out she was actually from wonderland and was just hiding her past because she is embarrassed of her homeland

>>23950342
Hit her with the Wabbajack, see what happens

>>23950046
>>23950070
Cont
>Be youngest daughter of the mozzarella family
>You are the worst cook out of your family
>Were this a woman you would have 'convinced' them to leave
>But if you did the same to a man demon Lord knows what your mother would do
>You are left with two choices break the mozzarella code or attempt to make a pizza
>"Minion fetch me ingredients from the store demon Lord help me if mother were to find out I use the money meant for matinence on cheese"
>While your minion runs off to go get some supplies you begin to gather the tools for a pizza

>>23950342
You aren't asking the right question, ask her What's up, Doc?

>>23950356
Im not sure that would work when my waifu is a cheshire unless she goes all
>Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There

>>23950411
Is she 102% wonderlander with a 2% margin of error?

>>23950339
Can I try anyway?

>>23950342
Say yes and run to a safe distance.

>>23950440
She's faster than you and won't stop following you

>>23950420
>Priestess Mother Auntie Ruckus, No Relation

>>23950449
Ah yes, it would seam she knows one of my biggest fears about getting hunted by monsters.
I guess she can get me when I break down crying eventually.

>>23950411
>You ever hear of yellowligo?
>Turns your hair from purple to yellow
>Like that Cheshire Michele Jackson, lucky bitch
>I got reverse yellowligo

>>23949637
The capo won't like this.

>>23949637
What kind of money laundering operation doesn't have a functioning front?

>>23950480
A poor one.

>>23950480
They've gotten away with it for so long their functioning front has been ignored

>>23950480
The best damn pet store in town!

>>23950489
That's just asking for cops or rival gangs to rob you.

>>23950356
Imagine if some hardcore special forces hatter or cheshire who was raised in the outside world as an orphan finds out about Wonderland. She is finally home!

>>23950388
Cont
>Be detective anon
>The chief wants you to get the youngest of the mozzarellas to confess her 'resturant' is actually used for money laundering
>You have been sitting at an empty table for nearly an hour the cashier didn't even ask you what you wanted for a drink
>The effects of skipping breakfast and lunch begin to take their toll
>You are about to call it a bust and leave when a mouse girl yells at you to not leave yet
>Gold necklace with a gold piece of cheese
>Cheeseprint tracksuit
>Its Swiss the youngest of the three mozzarellas
>She rushes over to your table with what can only be described as the charred remains of a pizza shaped object with some peperoni thrown on last minute
>You aren't the best cook but last you checked pepperoni isn't supposed to be green
>"Sorry it took so long sir there was a mix up with your order"
>This place has been under surveillance for the past week and not a single mamano or human has walked into the restaurant once
>Your stomach cry in agony
>Your rationalize that any calories are better than no calories as you begin to scarf down the 'pizza' in front of you

>>23950356
On the flip side what if her family is embarrassed of her because she's Normal and uses Common Sense ?

>>23950541
>Gold necklace with a gold piece of cheese
>Cheeseprint tracksuit
I need art of this

>>23950541
>last you checked pepperoni isn't supposed to be green
Share some with her

>>23950591
Not even a shoggy could make a face that distorted.

>>23950563
>where did I go so wrong she doesn't even teleport she uses doors DOORS

>>23950541
>anon has to go back every week to “eat” there
>meanwhile the youngest mozzarella becomes a really good cook by cooking for him all the time

>>23950541
this makes me want a rodent

Is it possible to turn a Kiki maid into a Kiki wife? I know, being a maid is their trait, but I like their character/appearance and I'm uncomfortable with master/servant relations. It would be especially awkward if mother of my kids would be considered lower in the social hierarchy than me.
If I showed her enough affection and respect, would she eventually turn into a normal housewife?

Nazrin is a good mouse youkai. That is all.

>>23950541
>Be Swiss
>Someone is actually eating your cooking willingly
>This man must be the one after all mother did say she and father fell in love after he ate her pizza when he was being held for ransom
>Times were tough back in the great holstaur dryout of 76
>You can tell your customer must be enjoying it if he keeps shedding those tears of joy
>You're glad you slipped in some Viagra because you are definitely not going to let him get away
>He finishes the pizza gasping for air with a noticable bulge in his pants
>You press your chest against him
>"Now about payment"
Will swiss ever find out anon is a cop, will anon ever be heard from again, and will writefags ever improve find out next time on monster girl general