/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Have sex with her.

I throw it out.
It's breasts are far too large.

she changed my furniture
bitch moves in fast

I kick her out, glasses + big boobs = fail

>>2366777
Looks like you could use an extra hand.

Ask her why she is in my bed. I'd be a little creeped out. Also probably compliment her beautiful hair.

>>2366783
Because you wet the bed amirite?

I'd scrape it up and put it in a garbage bag. Take it to the dump. Burn my sheets.

>>2366777
Ask her if I am her master.

>>2366777
Just look at this... that must be like what 60-70kg... i cant even throw it out i need to get a wheelbarrow or something...

>>2366823
57 kgs, actually.

Can't tell before it happens.

>>2366829
Anyone know a good shop where i can find a good wheelbarrow?

>>2366840

Just borrow one from the black cat of good cheer.
Before you throw her out, check if someone else wants her, though.
Perferably someone you wouldn't miss too much...

1. Remove her from my bed.

2. Rearrange the sheets and my pillow.

3. Take my book back and put it back where it was.

4. Call the cops.

5. start fapping alone

Tell her to put on some goddamn pants

>>2366777
All will be fine until I realise she is holding a glass of scotch. MY SCOTCH. I was saving that fucking scotch.

"Yo Sis!!"

Hide in the closet

ask her if the carpet matches the curtains

I guess I would petrify?

>>2366777

Wonder how she got into my booze cabinet. Then probably offer to pour her some of the French brandy I;ve got stored away forspecial occasions and discuss Proust, or Tolstoy, hell maybe some Jung with her. All in all Rider is the perfect Waifu for bibliophiles.

Ask her to sit on my face.

I don't know, I'd have to ask my mom

I'd [spoilers]read Kara no Kyoukai[/spoilers] with her

>>2366961

Trade her in for a better model, like Caster.

I inform her that there is a much larger and more comfortable bed in a much less cramped room that doesn't smell quite so bad in the same house. I also tell her there's food in the fridge.

Then I go to my desk and make a thread on 4chan about it. Then look for porn and whack it. My computer is in my room right next to my computer so it's in her best interests that she take my advice.

>>2367001

Er, right next to my bed, I meant to say.

the monster mash

>>2367001
Why, yes, I do have two computers side-by-side.

Remove her glasses.

>>2367044
Enjoy your rock hard statue.

1) Kick her out.
2) Go invite Kotomine to have mapou tofu together.

>>2367092
You want some?

>>2367107
Yes (if you know what I mean).

>>2367144

1. Grasp firmly by the hair of the head.

2. PULL AS HARD AS I FUCKING CAN. Don't wuss out here, you pussy! Pull like you're getting Hercules's dick out of your ass! Twist if you have to, if you must rupture her spinal cord.

3. Use the freshly extracted Gorgon head to terrorize people.

>>2367167
Don't act as if you don't like it.

[X] Genuflect

Get to know her, court her and, if all goes well, make sweet love to her in the Missionary position.

>>2367404

You sick fuck.

>>2367092
>>2367144
>>2367167
>>2367191

never understood these japanese dilletants for butchering this traditional chinese dish into some kind of starch-filled, mild, tofu-soup.
originally you eat mapuo dofu with rice, since it's fucking hot and filled with burning sichuan pepper.

fucking japs.

>>2367404

If by "make sweet love to her in the Missionary position" you mean "die screaming as she tears you limb from limb and eats you", then I'm sure you'll be just fine!

>>2367436

whats up with your irrational hate/fear of fictional gorgons, namefag?

>>2367436
WORTH IT

>>2367438
Silly anon, they eat it in a Chinese restaurant

Hit it. With a Rider Kick.

>>2367466

Can't sleep, gorgons will eat me.

Can't sleep, gorgons will eat me.

Can't sleep, gorgons will eat me.

Can't sleep, gorgons will eat me...

>>2367494
I want to have sex with a gorgon.

>>2367494
Dont you have some crying to do in a corner because you got told on /jp/?

>>2367436
Not if you call it 'mana replenishment'

>>2367504

No, you don't.

Stop feeling attraction towards monstrous Chthonic creatures that live on desert islands and petrify humans for amusement when not pulling their soft flesh off their bones.

Same thing I would do if I found any beautiful woman in my house. Molotov the place and run like hell.

>>2367525
You just never got the chance to meet ones that were not punished by gods and hunted by humans.

>>2367555

Hunted by humans? More like the other way around.

A human has as much chance hunting a gorgon as a mouse has a chance of hunting down a cat.

>>2367573
Humans are the superior monsters in the end, if solely by numbers.
They could have just left them in the island minding their own business, but NOOOO.

Oh come on, they can't be THAT bad.

>>2367525

I know I'd let her pull the soft flesh on my bone.

I'd look at the picture for a second, but then crumble it up and throw it into the trash can.

>>2367555
Might be because there are none. Humanity tries to drive monsters extinct just like it drives wild animals extinct.

Typhon is my favorite, though.

>Typhon was the last child of Gaea. He was rejected by all, even his brothers, the Titans, due to his monstrous appearance. Typhon began to plot his revenge when he met Echidna. Echidna fell in love with Typhon, who returned the affection.

Typhon is one of us, except he found someone who will love him unconditionally.

>>2367555
"Herc"?

I am not interested in the amazons the text refers to, but the monstergirl in it. What is the full name, please?

>>2367690
Incredible Hercules. Said monstergirl tries to kill him in the most recent issue under Hera's command.

>>2367690
Incredible Hercules.
Specific storyline run through 121 to 125.

>>2367713
>>2367716
My Thankis to both of you.

I'll ask her "How did u get in?" and after she opens her mouth beggining to explain I'll say "Never mind" and I'll put my cock in her mouth>>2366777

>>2367598

Anonymous may call my stance on the Gorgons an 'irrational' or 'maniacal' hatred, but he often tends to forget that we are discussing chthonic, monstrous beings that sup on the flesh of humans and turn others to stone with a mere gaze.

I do not know about you lot, but I think fear of a monster that would gladly tear you limb from limb and then gnaw on your bones is as rational as it gets.

The Gorgons are not wholesome, pleasant sisters that are fun to be around.

That statue garden that Rider keeps referring to, did you think she got those statues from the five-and-ten dollar store in the city?

Of course not. Those are the remains of the humans foolish enough to try hunting her and her vicious sisters down.
Rider and her sisters think it great fun that the humans consider them targets to be hunted.

They play with their hunters, toy with them even, and then consume their flesh or turn them to stone.

You will excuse me if I do not consider Rider to be an innocent little lamb, nor worthy of being anyone's 'waifu'.

I would waste no time in beheading her, as I mentioned before. It's the only sane thing to do - if I left her to her own devices I would feel her teeth sinking through the soft meat of my neck before I could blink.

>>2369819
oh for fuck's sake you are an attention whore aren't you
you better not even fucking think of posting your fucking sleeping pic tonight

I'll ask her why she is wearing the ugliest pair of lingerie I have ever laid my eyes upon.

That's not to say I hate Rider. Oh, no.

If anything, it is my pleasure to be given the same opportunity as a hero of bygone days - slaying the Gorgon. Truly, she is an opponent worthy of my blood.

>>2369819
>>I do not know about you lot, but I think fear of a monster that would gladly tear you limb from limb and then gnaw on your bones is as rational as it gets.

Isn't it sad though, that the only feelings those creatures get are fear, loathing, and/or despise? That the only visitors they get are hunters seeking to have another trophy on their wall? They deserve a chance at being equals in society, and an equal chance for love, rather than having the classic Disney treatment that all ugly monsters are evil and must die.

Rider is your waifu? Fascinating.

Now let me give her a wedding gift in the form of this sword's blade to her neck. I'm sure she'll appreciate its steely kiss.

>>2369847
>>2369847

They revel in our hatred and fear of them, and relish every moment of the time their 'hunters' spend upon them.

That is why they slew every legendary hero who came upon them, until Perseus sought to put an end to it.

Gorgons sow misery and woe wherever they roam.

>>2369872

just like you! boy, you guys have a lot in common.

>>2369862
Playthings of the false gods your time is at an end! The Old Ones stir!

Medea knows for she has seen the truth!

>>2369882

Azathoth all up ins.

>>2369896
azathoth is a friend of mine

>>2369882
>>2369911

Grand-daughter of none other than the Sun God Helios.

Her lineage is a proud one indeed.

>>2370223

then how come she can't get laid?

>>2370223

Helios is the Sun Titan. Apollo is the Sun God.

Titan holds considerably more unfriendly connotations. Titans are the insane powers of the mindless world, while Gods are the ordered powers of intelligence.

Helios is the scorching sun which burns a man to death in the desert, Apollo is the warming sun which grows the crops.

>>2366777
I wake up

;_;

Ask her what she's reading

I would stand still, thinking about how awesome the situation was.

>>2366777
After getting over the shock, I'd if there was something going on that I hadn't been told about.