/jp/ - Otaku Culture

cool story bro.
make sure you wash your hands first before you fap, that vapor rub shit will burn.

Repost from aeons ago

what addendum?

Why the stupid addendum to perfectly fine pasta?

nice pasta bro

>>2188087
>p.s. Nice to meet you /jp/. I'm Brandon.

>>2188089
Well, I am Brandon. And it is nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you too :D

>>2188091
I don't believe your name is Brandon. Enjoy your Charlie.

>>2188093
I don't believe you because you keep typing sage.

Pasta + retarded PS I'M A FAGGOT at the end

Cool thread bro.

>>2188099
Brandon doesn't mean faggot, but your loss fellow anon. I sincerely wanted to make some friends here. Perhaps I should try another time? All the young girls should be at school right now anyway, right?

>>2188078
Now its up to some creative Anon to make a touhou parody out of it.

I got to wash my little host-sister's entire body a couple of years back.

My host mom was the one who asked me to do it, so it's all good. Eleven year old Jap tits, yo.

I wasn't aroused at all, she really was like a little sister to me, pervert. I was too busy teasing her about her flat chest to be aroused, anyway.

and it really is hard to fap and type at the same time. I wish I had three hands. Or four.

>>2188106
what's a host sister? Were you like, living in her body, or what? PARASITE.

>>2188106
I'm too old to try and get into a foreign exchange program now. FFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

You must be a pretty nice guy for your host family to be able to trust you that much with their daughter.

>>2188103
We don't have friends here.

>>2188124

I don't see why not?

>>2188121

How old is too old? I'd love to get into an exchange program. But I'm 26. Too old? If so, why?

>>2188132
Because your mother is older then you.

>>2188115
Student exchange programs normally stick you in with a 'host family' who you'll live with for the duration of the exchange.

Just a normal family who want to house a foreign student for whatever reason.

>>2188121
I'm not sure if my host mom was testing me to see if I was a lolicon pervert or if she just couldn't be arsed to do it herself.

Probably the former. I am a nice guy, though. hurr

>>2188132
Because your mother is older than you.
And you father!

>>2188142
Well....yeah. Yours too, I assume. Unless you're from the future or some shit....

>>2188132
Most host family student exchange programs require you to be 16-18 years old.

I doubt anyone would want to house a 26 year old male. You'd have to live by yourself or with friends or something.

>>2188151
Shut up you apple!

>>2188155
>You'd have to live by yourself or with friends or something.

That sounds like no fun. None of my friends have little sisters. I have family in Japan even, but they're not Japanese. Isn't the point of studying abroad to learn as much as you can about another culture?

Anyways, >>2188078, please listen to me. That it's really related to this thread.
I went to Yoshinoya a while ago; you know, Yoshinoya?
Well anyways there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great about this place.
Women and children should screw off and stay home.
Anyways, I was about to start eating, and then the bastard beside me goes "extra-large, with extra sauce."
Who in the world orders extra sauce nowadays, you moron?
I want to ask him, "do you REALLY want to eat it with extra sauce?"
I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour.
Are you sure you don't just want to try saying "extra sauce"?
Coming from a Yoshinoya veteran such as myself, the latest trend among us vets is this, extra green onion.
That's right, extra green onion. This is the vet's way of eating.
Extra green onion means more green onion than sauce. But on the other hand the price is a tad higher. This is the key.
And then, it's delicious. This is unbeatable.
However, if you order this then there is danger that you'll be marked by the employees from next time on; it's a double-edged sword.
I can't recommend it to amateurs.
What this all really means, though, is that you, >>2188078, should just stick with today's special

>>2188167
No. The reason is to have free vacations overseas and get a phat bonus on your Ivy League school admission papers.

>>2188170
faulty logic is faulty

>>2188181
Well, I'm already in college. I'm not out to go to a different one really. There's an exchange program at my school, so maybe I should just talk to them about it. Most people here are between the ages of 18 and 30, so maybe they don't use host families? I have no idea. I've just been thinking about it for some time and not acting on it, as usual.

>>2188185
agreed. your niece should get sick more often.

vintage copypasta, a sweet memory of old /b/.

>>2188083
>>2188099
what is "pasta"? why does everyone here keep talking about "soup" and "pasta"?

>>2188197
yeah, /b/ is not what it used to be. such is life bro.

>>2188198
fucking newfag
>>2188201
yes, cancer

>>2188203
STOP BUMPING THE COPYPASTA.
stale old copypasta is stale and old.
and this one has always been disturbing anyway.

>>2188198
Lets for once not call it pasta. Lets call it SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS!

>>2188209
Yeah, it is disturbing. I think it's funny though. And I really was trying to make some friends. I have a pathetic existence to be honest. If no one here is interested in being nice to me for more than five minutes could you at least suggest somewhere else to go?
-Brandon
(for some reason still trying to reach out to /jp/)

COPYPASTA for the newfags here. Goddamnit lurk the fuck moar.

>>2188198
Look at it this way.

On most browsers, you can bring up your browsing history by pressing Control-H. (No, this is not going to become a discussion of werecows.) On Firefox, this brings up a sidebar that shows up on the left side of the window. If you put your mouse over the edge of the sidebar, the cursor will turn into a different kind of arrow. By clicking and dragging it, you can move the edge of the sidebar back and forth. You are, to put it another way, manipulating the border between the normal window and the history window. By moving the mouse, you can increase the portion of the window devoted to either part. In a more extreme view of this situation, you're increasing or decreasing the amount of existence the sidebar has.

Now, let's apply this idea to something more abstract. Look out your window. If you don't live in a highly urbanized area, you should be able to see the horizon. Think of this as the border between the land and the sky. The land and sky are obviously distinguishable thanks to this boundary. Now, if you were to "drag" the sash between the sky and the land, or to manipulate the border between land and sky, you would end up causing the sky to become larger and the land to become smaller, or vice versa. An effect of this might be to cause something that was just on the ground to suddenly be hundreds of feet in the air. Truly a frightening situation to be in. So, look at it this way - manipulating the border between two physical things shifts whatever balance there is in the interaction between those things. Alternatively, by manipulating the border between two things, you can change the manner in which they exist.

>>2188214
let's call it "ramen".

>>2188209
Disturbing? WAT
Also sage because this thread should not be bumped.

>>2188226
Still, this isn't *that* abstract, since it's still dealing with real things in the real world. Many believe that in this world, there are those things that are true, and those that obviously aren't. This divides reality into two extremes: truth and falsehood. But, since we have two extremes, logically one can imagine a boundary between those two extremes - the border between truth and lies. If one were to manipulate this border, suddenly things that were pure fantasy (flying pigs, for the sake of argument) have become reality - or things from reality have ceased to exist. This is how Yukari is said to have invaded the moon - by manipulating the border between truth and lies, as applied to the reflection of the moon on a pond, she was able to make the reflection of the moon into a manifestation of the actual moon, and so send her youkai army onto it. This is what's truly amazing about Yukari's power - the ability to manipulate the border between completely abstract concepts allows her to fundamentally change reality as we know it (at least in terms of two abstract concepts).

Sup Taiko.

>>2188226
That's so brilliant man. So brilliant. So crappy. gtfo and gb2/x/.

DEE(r)P

>>2188220
<-- /a/ is that way

HI, I’M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN’S WEARHOUSE. YOUR MOTHER MAY HAVE BEEN BLESSED MORE TIMES BY THE SACRED WHITE RIVER OF MY PELVIC PALADIN, BUT THAT IS NO REASON TO GIVE ME THE GREEN EYE OF JEALOUSY, MY COCK-LOVING CAVALIER. BETWEEN US, TONIGHT WILL BE RELIGIOUS RAPTURE, FOR YOUR ANAL CLEFT SHALL BE MY GREAT SEA, AND I SHALL BE ITS MOSES, CLEAVING ITS MIGHTY CHOCOLATE OCEAN TO MAKE WAY FOR THE SAFE PASSAGE OF MY TESTICULAR TRIBE, HAVING BEEN GRANTED MEPHITIC FREEDOM FROM THE TYRANNY OF ENSLAVEMENT BEHIND A LOCKED PROSTATE. TO DO THIS, I WILL READY MY LONGINUS TO PIERCE YOUR BACKSIDE’S SACRED DOMAIN — YOU WILL SCREAM FIRST IN PAIN, THEN IN PASSION AS ITS STEEL-LADEN GIRTH STRETCHES AND RIPS THE FABRIC OF YOUR MORTAL INNARDS, DISIMBUING YOU OF YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS, LEADING YOU TO A HEAVEN, THEN REVIVING YOUR FEELING OF PHYSICAL REALITY LIKE A ONCE-CRUCIFIED CHRIST RETURNING TO EARTH. I GUARANTEE IT.

>>2188245
/a/ is very cruel to me. I prefer not to go there.
>>2188249
tl;dr, CAPS MAKE EYES HURT BLEED

The first anime I ever saw was "Revolutionary Girl Utena" the movie. I was attracted to it because it was bizarre and new. It hit me at a vulnerable time; my father and mother had just been murdered. I became obsessed with the "emptiness inside" theme of the movie, and felt that this related to my life somehow. I watched Evangelion next, and absolutely loved the depressing feeling both of these shows left me with. I am a person who loves depressions; I feel that I am at my most creative and "raw" when utterly depressed. The empty feeling these shows gave me filled me with emotions I wanted to recapture.

Like an addict seeking another hit, I kept downloading more and more programs, watching tons of shows. At one point, I had two shoeboxes full of CD-r's packed with Anime programs. I had a library of just about every show ever made. I became obsessive, but I wasn't finding that feeling that was originally there. Sure, I could recapture it with great stuff like Serial Experiments: Lain and Millenium actress, but that was only for a moment.

Eventually, I stopped watching the shows I was downloading, but just grabbed them for the sake of having them. I had to have more. I bought DVD's and didn't watch them. Gradually, over time, I felt my aesthetic become warped. What once was strange and bizarre looking character design became familiar; I sought it out. If I caught a glimpse of an anime style character in real life, I felt a rush; almost as if my hindbrain saw it before I was aware of it. I was visiting a Japanese tea Garden and saw real life schoolgirls in the familiar navy blue fuku uniforms. I was fascinated by them; I was drawn, attracted, but not in a sexual way; it blew my mind to see something in real life that I had before seen only in the abstract.

A familiar feeling came through me when I saw them. I felt the same at that moment as when I had first seen Utena, when I had first finished Evangelion. My obsession took a new direction.

I bought several sailor fuku uniforms from online retailers. J-list was too expensive and didn't sell in the size I desired. I had to have the legitimate stuff. At first it was satisfying to just look at the uniforms. I would keep them clean, iron them, and hang them up every day. The ritual was soothing to me.

Sooner or later I had to do it. I had to wear the uniforms I had treasured. I am proud to report that it took me a few months to break down, to really cross the threshold into utter depravity. After that line had been crossed, though, there was no going back. Tentatively, I started by simply wearing the uniforms around the house. I would wake up very early, before anyone could glimpse at me from outside on the street, and simply do my cleaning and cooking wearing the various uniforms I purchased. I got a matching apron. I would pretend I was getting ready for Japanese High school.

Soon, though, wearing the uniform in private was not enough. I purchased a duster trenchcoat and began walking through town wearing my outfit. Nobody knew, and this made me comfortable. But, again, this soon became insufficient to satisfy my obsession.

I began stalking this girl I knew, Sarah. I checked out her routines; when she left for work, when she got back, what time she went to bed. At first I furtively ventured into her place with my uniform under my trench coat while she was away. I knew where her spare key was because I had helped her move earlier. Speaking of this, I'm a pretty beefy guy. I weigh around 240-260 pounds, but I'm not that tall. A great friend to have if you need to move.

Anyway, gradually, I became more comfortable in her apartment. I started doing stuff like rolling around in her bed, stealing her underwear and putting it in little plastic bags, soforth. As you would expect, I became more and more comfortable doing this, and crossed a line.

I just spent the last twenty minutes rubbing George Zimmer, founder and CEO of the Men's Wearhouse.
"How?" you ask. The girl you know as "Cracky-chan' wanted to kill herself and is in hospital now. She will die in one or two days. So I called her "oneechan" and then she stopped and looked at me and I said "what is it" to which she replied "I always wanted a twin brother so we could fuck all the time" (she's an only child and all I have is a younger brother)
No problem. Well this morning the fucking FBI bust down my door with a warrent. They grab my fucking computer, they grab all my CDs and DVDs (even more store bought music CDs and DVDs) and all my videotapes and leave with them and take me in to rub this vapor ointment shit all over her BARE NAKED CHEST. The father figure in my imagination is a masculine white male probably between the age of 35 ~ 50? But I'm not racist so other ethnics might do.

But thanks anyway asshole. Go and watch your stupid anime shit while I sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air.

>>2188261
OMG I FEEL THE SAME WAY!

She came home unexpectedly one day, early from work. Panicked, I hid under the bed in my uniform. Immediately, as she came through the door, she spotted my trench coat. Lying under her bed, the sound of my heavy breathing seemed a thousand times louder than it actually was. I could hear her rooting through the trench coat, and could hear the wrinkling of celophane as she found my empty plastic bags. Thank god they didn't yet have her used underwear in them.

I put my sweaty, meaty hands together and prayed.

I heard her walking around the apartment. Thankfully, she didn't bring anyone with her. My mind was flashing; the excitement had triggered my epilepsy. Suddenly, I was barraged with memories from my first anime program, revolutionary girl utena. I heard her walking around some more, and then sit down on the bed. I saw her clothes come off and hit the floor in front of me. During this time I was controlling myself and having a minor epileptic fit. I could see transformation sequences from anime programs I had watched. It was all coming together; the near hallucinations, the girl in the bed above me, and most of all, my sweaty fuku uniform.

She approached the bathroom and got into the shower. She turned on the water. I was convinced that this was the one moment I had been searching for. This was my chance to cross over into the other world described in Utena; the fabric of reality was thin. I could taste it. In many of my anime programs I had seen the seemingly normal characters, like me, enter into a world of magic and joy.

I rolled out from under the bed and bounded into the bathroom. She saw my large form approaching through the glass of the shower and started screaming. I was having epileptic flashes; the screaming sounded just like "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" I was having trouble walking, my steps staggered. I couldn't feel the floor. My meaty hands slammed the shower door open, but she sprayed me with a jet of water. The water triggered another fit and I seized, falling into the bath. She tripped and fell on top of me. As she was screaming and my blood filled the bath, it swirled around reality, and intermingled in my mind. Her screams, the blood, my sweat, the uniform, Japan, schoolgirls, magic, tragedy, terror, and hope all become one to me. For one moment, I could taste it. The anime reality. It was here, like a precious jewel perched between my meaty, sweaty pectorals. And then, gone.

SO yeah I like anime.

>>2188268
>>2188266
>>2188261
samefag posting same stale old pasta is stale and old and still a fag

>>2188274

This thread is a line of death across /jp/.

>>2188198
Lurk the fuck more.

OP, thanks, you just nostalgiabomb'd me.

>>2188285
Don't you dare touch it.

>>2188285
I just took off my glasses.
And am now cleaning them.

>>2188276
Pretty obviously different fags.

>>2188279
GJ

lolcopypasta go back to /b/

>>2188300
/b/, asshole of the internet. Will never crawl back up there.

>>2188312
there's nothing wrong with /b/.
(you belong there, btw)

tits or gtfo

omg, THESE were the days. REALLY old pasta.
sorry, I have to bump this. old and funny is still old and funny.

What the hell, I thought I had woken up, but instead, I'm apparently dreaming of a bizarro /jp/, where such an old copypasta gets so many replies.

>>2188384
I was just thinking the same thing. I guess it's the reminder of old /b/ getting so much attention. Oldfag day on /jp/.

>>2188384
Didn't you get the memo? This is the oldfags acting like newfags acting like oldfags thread. Or maybe not. BUT I WANT TO BELIEVE.

>>2188404
>This is the oldfags acting like newfags acting like oldfags thread. Or maybe not. BUT I WANT TO BELIEVE.

I want to believe too. Sometimes I can't tell the oldfags from the newfags anymore. What has this world come to?! And OP, what's with the highlights and the FILENAME, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!

I know who topper is, why whoever this is wants to fuck him, IDK.

Sweet pasta, btw. CRUNCHY.

I hate to say it, and this may come from being under two weeks "old" on 4chan, but... I just get sick reading this sort of copypasta. It's actually the REVERSE of attractive/arousing for me.

Janitors doing their job as usual I see.

>>2188432
That's the point, newfag. "EEEEW, now reply to me!!!"

>>2188432
twelve year old tits not arousing WHAT

>>2188439
You suck cocks apparently.