/jp/ - Otaku Culture

life is not how we desire it
it's bout what you can make it in to

Nothing.
Only reason why I haven't killed myself is because my parents would be sad.

>>20782819
thats so sad anon
why are you this way

i will be a rich man one day for sure. making money is the most fun i've ever had

kys yutanpo

I live for things that are fun and beautiful. It took me a while to get to the point where those were enough to make me content with living, but I got there and now consider myself happy. It's hard to explain how other than that I identified getting to that point as my goal and sought out fun and beauty in my life. At first it was only a method of perseverence against the tumult of bad things, but eventually as I kept with it the mental good I got out of the things I liked outweighed the mental bad of the the bad things

One of the biggest reasons I want to continue living is that new vidya and animu will be released and I wont be able to play/watch it

I like watching anime and reading VNs. Just do the things you like while trying not to die and life isn't that hard, anon.

is this a blog?
me picking up photography and sneaking outside at nighttime made me want to not kill myself

>>20782840
I don't know.
The good things in my life don't make up for the bad ones. Maybe I'm just a failure of a human being.

they're gonna invent something really good in the near future. might be worth sticking around for that. or the world could go to shit, but only the living would know.

i fear death but i'm more upset by the fact that i'll miss out on some amazing innovation or invention. i was born in the 1980s and i'm afraid i'll just barely miss out. people born in the 1880's maybe saw the beginnings of computers in their shittiest archaic form, none of them lived long enough to experience our modern pcs, smartphones, entertainment and internet. that really fucking sucks for them. i sometimes imagine dying in 2100 stretching my lifespan as far as i could with futuristic medicine, just a few years short of a ground breaking innovation like transferring your consciousness into a machine for virtual immortality.

I wish I knew

doushio?

I realised that desiring meaning or purpose is a bit conceited. People have been content living out their mundane, purposeless lives for thousands of years.
Having a modicum of worldly knowledge was enough to fill our heads with delusions of grandeur.
Humanity is still in its infancy, as far as i'm concerned. 'Meaning and purpose' is a responsibilty beyond our ken.

>>20784897
Shit like that just reminds me of that 'human depository' comic.
I'm confident, that if there's a hell, it'd be no worse than what we could medically or digitally implement, intentionally or by a rogue AI.
dead and rotting in the ground before the advent of such technology might just be a blessing.

I feel trapped a lot of the time.
I'm slowly getting better at coping with it all though.

Sexy anime grill so you'll read this post.

I decided to embrace the fact that I can enjoy myself to the fullest now and I'll die eventually without bothering with suicide. Also embracing escapism. Even if say "I hate reality" it's still a medium that allows me to interact with and appreciate countless beautiful fantasies.

I want to see the society collapse
Or maybe some kind of war

(online) friends and all kinds of media are enough to make me happy.
I'm actually content or happy most of the time these days.

I'm only staying alive to pursue my hobbies. You could reduce that statement to say that anime and idols are keeping me on this side of the grave.

Adulthood is a scam and I wish I had killed myself half a decade ago before I even got into college, but now I'm stuck being a "productive member of society" where the only thing that would make life better (taking the plunge into hikkiNEETdom) would leave me unable to engage in the things that make life worth it (since Idol CDs and anime Blu-Rays and Japanese imports in general are fucking expensive).

For a while what kept me going was the delusional fantasy that maybe one day I could move to Japan and work there as whatever I could just to be closer to the subcultures I'm into but the only thing I'm halfway decent at is being a polyglot and the Japs aren't interested in many languages apart from English, which they don't consider non-whites to be able to speak.

If you want my advice just pick something immediately available to you that you could use to justify continued existence and make it part of your life. Then just keep going until you break down. I'm waiting on the second part, personally.

I don't need a reason to be alive. Animals don't need a reason to be alive. Grass and trees don't need a reason to be alive. Bacteria and body cells don't need a reason to be alive. I don't live for anything, I just am. I have neither desire nor goal.

>>20783261
You're not hurting other people. So long as that is the case you're trying your best as a human being. You're having a positive effect in the world,even if it's not that much, and for that we appreciate you

>>20786137
Revelation 9:6, NIV: "During those days people will seek death but will not find it; they will long to die, but death will elude them."
You're tapping on some ancient ideas and wisdom there.

>>20786271
That's what a lot of life is. It's collars we put around our own necks. Be it having a girlfriend, kids, a car, a house and so on.
To live without commitments is to be homeless living under a Bridge, with no family, no possessions and no friends. It's a miserable existence
We can't get something for nothing.

I'm primarily living to pay off real and figurative debts I owe to my family, and to make sure that they won't die suffering in some old age home staffed entirely by filipinas

But beyond that, the only thing I live for now are my hobbies, since I've long since lost any interest in my career outside of the money it gives me. I went to Japan for C95 and I'm determined to go back when I have more money and enough Japanese language skills to go anywhere in the country. I also want to lose my virginity to a Japanese cosplay whore in a love hotel that smells like Javex, but that's a bonus goal more than something that I absolutely must do.

>>20786362
I get the sentiment. The idea of if the world collapses then I'm not a failure.
The people who imagine what they would do during a zombie apocalypse aren't people like Bill Gates. It's people with big ideas and little action. I know, because I had that type of thinking. It also led to me taking hallucinogenic drugs.
But. It wasn't satisfying, because none of it was real. It was all in my head, and I'd still wake up and go to my shitty job the following day. I turned that thinking inward. Imposing the pain I felt on other people was an evil thought and one I tried to suppress

i just want a more exciting life. not like sky diving or being front line infantry but exciting like playing a good video game, except it uses more than 2 of my senses (sight and hearing).

i hope i live long enough for subconscious level gaming, where code can simulate stimuli for all 5 senses. that would be nice.

I want to make my life as close as possible to those almost idealistic SoL stories. Anyone must be insane to not dream of fun idealistic everyday life like you see in Soremachi, Genshiken, Kaguya, Hidamari Sketch, A-Channel, Yuru Camp, and other Kirara series

I like 2hus, I enjoy playing the games and reading and talking about them and looking at fanart. Maybe it's mild autism but this obsession really keeps me going.

young again
without a care in the world
please take me back
to the start
of my youth
when I didn't have a single thing to do

>>20786681
Ever tried paintball?
It's just like a videogame, but it hurts a bit when you get hit.

2D lolis.

>>20782709

to gain enough money each year to visit comiket

Life might not be great, but I have to live for the sake of my three girls. They give my life meaning and purpose, and bring joy to it.

>>20786682

I wish I could live out my Genshiken dream but that is impossible in my country

>>20787079
based

>>20785894
There's a peanuts strip where charlie brown realizes that where ever he goes he'll still be the same person and the world will be just as shitty.

>>20786598
For me, It's the KJV

>>20782885
Shutup. Yutanpo did nothing wrong.

life uscks and then u die

>>20782709
I don't really do much of anything, but I don't see my life as too depressing, just not fulfilling. Maybe some day we will all figure it out.

>>20787082
You can always create one anon! Only you that can change your own life!

In all seriousness though, as long as you don't have an extremely demanding job with CEO/bigshot executives/bigshot lawyer tier schedule while still manage to make decent money, even if it's not with a weeb club, you can still do whatever hobby you want and build relationships outside of work on the side as long as you don't have a family yet

>>20787393

I wish I could create something with friends and then sell it together at a doujin event and then get wasted while eating good food deep into the night with them. Naturally no doujin events exist in my country and even if they did it'd be irrelevant because they're only worthwhile in Japan.

However I doubt I'll manage this even when I'm doing exhange studies in Japan. I can't draw nor compose, what could I possibly offer for the production.

>>20782709
Ah, sou.

>>20785894
I like Calvin's version

>>20782709
Depression is caused by nutritional deficiencies. It took me about 10 years to figure out how to correct it, because conventional knowledge is useless.

>>20787877
What did you do to correct it? i kinda have slump in my life because i eat and sleep like shit and do nothing to improve my life.

>>20787933

Eating properly, dropping or reducing vices like alcohol, drugs etc. and exercising regularly are proven methods.

>>20787933
Avoiding hyperglycemia most important; eat more fat instead. Beyond that ensure you actually have all the vitamins and minerals you need. Some of them are way insufficient in the modern diet.
>>20787972
This kind of shit is too ambiguous to actually correct anything.

>>20788019

How are those vague, they're all concrete acts.

Another thing to add would be working to have enough money to be able to do all /jp/ related activities one likes, such as traveling to Japan for comiket.

>>20787933
He ate a shit ton of green leafy vegetables for several years. Probably.

I live for the day I will have friends and be happy
until then I will be very sad and alone
I know that just killing myself will cause my rebirth in this cycle of complete and utter suffering

>>20788092
I took the shortcut of potassium chloride, pink Himalayan salt, seaweed, and nutritional yeast. Fixed my 18 hours a day sleep requirement in two days after years of nothing else working.

>>20788054
>eating properly
This is the problem. If you say this to people they're very unlikely to do anything that's actually useful.

>>20787972
Good diet, exercise, a reasonable sleep schedule and things like that don't do anything at all! I still feel completely empty inside despite having kept up a healthy lifestyle for several years!

>>20788134
How do I get malnutritious enough to sleep 18 hours a day? Being awake is over-rated, but I can't be tired forever.

>>20788094
Hey mate, you don't know that. You could go to gensokyo if you kill yourself right!

>>20788218
Develop an inflammatory bowel condition that prevents you absorbing nutrients for years.
>>20788207
You don't actually have a good diet.

>>20788224
it is much more certain if I achieve Bodhisattva-hood in this lifetime, then manifest myself from non-retrogression into Gensokyo

>>20788262
Ahhhhh I knew it. Fucking buddhists. No hope for you. Back to your suffering.

>>20788207
Have you tried having fun?
I was feeling pretty depressed yesterday, but today I had fun and now I'm feeling happy.

>>20788514
Nothing is enjoyable when depressed. Your body will not produce the neurochemical response of enjoyment to anything.

>>20782709
Very little. Killing myself would feel like cheating though, I'd probably only do it if a really unpleasant death was imminent and I had the option of a less unpleasant one.

>>20782709
Have a family. Yes, it gives you problems, but it's the only thing in the world that will make your life meaningful.

>>20788563
You've clearly never masturbated to lolis when depressed.

i honestly dont know. im 15 and i became a robot 2 years ago. all i do is go to school, play video games and sleep.

>>20782709
I'm not really living, I just come here every day and stare at the screen because I can't imagine doing anything else.

>>20786681
>being front line infantry
I'm not military but from what other /jp/sies in the military have told me here, life in the military is 98% boring grunt work or boring specialist work. This is still the case when you're on deployment but the stress levels are upped 1000% and you might get shot or blown up

>>20787112
and, dare I say it, redpilled

>>20788711
kek, underage b&d

>>20787877
I think it's safer to say that for most people, nutrition is more likely to aggravate one's condition than be the sole cause of their problems.

Exercise and diet can help correct chemical and other imbalances, yes. But many people who suffer from depression/suicidal ideation often have no self-esteem, confidence in their own abilities or feelings of control over their own lives. The act of changing one's diet and adopting a successful exercise routine, maintaining those changes and seeing tangible results can help change those beliefs.

For others working out and improving one's physical appearance may be enough to help get a job, since employers do avoid hiring fat people in many fields. For the perpetually unemployed, having a job to go to and money in the bank is often a big help.

And still others primarily feel isolated/alienated from society, and working out may help connect them to communities or new friends/peer groups.

I'm not saying this as an attack on what you said. What you said is not incorrect, but without context it's easy to take what you said and think that "if I do this one thing, my problems will be over." Modern diet culture (and consumer culture in general) promotes ineffective and often counterproductive "magic bullets" that rarely do the whole job and set people up for disappointment. In reality, problems such as depression are just like being overweight: there are several factors contributing to the problem and you will have a better chance at success in solving or mitigating the problem if you are at least aware of all of these contributing factors.

>>20789145
To add to what you said, I know someone in real life, and perhaps it's not fair to compare him to the imaginary average not-completely-retarded /jp/sie, but he autistically obsesses over nutrition, workout and jews and I've seen not a lick of difference for all he's done(and it's been several years), if anything the lack of results has turned him into even more of a stupid cretin.

>>20787011
is there an equivalent with swords and maces and axes instead? im not a big fan of fps games and i'm a terrible shot

no gay pretend larping or medieval reenactments for the purpose of education, i just want to cleave a slimegirl's asshole apart and taste her refreshing, sweet slimeflesh

>>20789145
I disagree. Attempting to improve things makes it worse because you end up with the futility of everything still being terrible despite it supposedly being 'better'. Especially having a job. Depression is an inside-out problem, hence why it doesn't correlate at all. Why you get millionaires committing suicide, while people in third world countries love life. The only link is that depressed people will create and maintain a bad situation when possible. Changing the situation won't work because the depression will persist. Solving the depression will make the individual change the situation.

>>20789249
have expert control over lucid dreams, or get hit by truck-kun

>>20789213
Politics is its own beast, and for his specific partisan affiliation he's very likely spending hours on social media or imageboards with like-minded individuals marinating his brain in a non-stop geyser of content telling him that things are hopeless, the west is doomed and the only thing he can do is buy weapons and prepare his suburban home for an ATF raid.

I stopped reading politics (mostly) last month and replaced a lot of that content with doujin culture, moeshit and guro and the new content honestly makes me feel less depressed than political autism

>>20789282
Well, I don't know what to tell you. I gave you my experience, the experiences of several people I know and some medical literature I remember reading (I think it was linked to in the /fit/ sticky?) I recognize that there are going to be people with depression so severe that anything short of medical/chemical intervention can help them, if at all. But it's my educated guess that these people are in the minority, and that most people here on /jp/ could see significant improvements with changes to diet and exercise.

I have an online friend from /jp/ that would be really sad if I killed myself. Also, I wouldn't be able to post on /jp/ anymore if I was dead

>>20789338
tfw no one will pretend to be a monster slime girl for you while you take a solid metal mace and just beat the shit out of them

>>20788094
I'm looking for a friend, anon

>>20787079
>my three girls.
What did he mean by this

>>20787112
>>20789008
>>20789004
>>20789423
People who write posts like you are part of the reason why this world is reclining.

>>20789485
In my defense, I don't know if the based and redpilled meme is sincere or making fun of dumb teenagers

>>20789485
ok
back to work now, wageslave

>>20789397
Just make one out of jello/gummi/mud/snow and go at it.

im last eary culinary school student and im going to be loby manager in mcd as part-time job. daily consume 2hu to keep myself somewhat ok
life seems to be heading the right way, yet im not happy

>>20789819
year*

>>20789775
but it won't react or fight back

>>20789951
>fight back
just kidnap some random girl, paint her your color of choice and make shitton of eatable gel and fill a pool with it.
then proceed to rape her

>>20789485
What's wrong with my post? (>>20789423)

Probably to learn, I live for the endless pursuit of knowledge at least, and curiosity will highly likely be the end of me.

>>20790058
Hi Patchy!

>>20790018
you know what anon, you're right

one of these days when i become a multi-billionaire i'm going to build myself a mansion all the way out near some shithole village with literal peasants that nobody gives a shit about, like in eastern europe or south america, depending on the future political climate. then i will hire a bunch of jay peas to become my home security body guards to protect my mansion. i don't pay them but i provide house and board as well as entertainment such as internet access and computer upgrades. but the main entertainment i provide will be described below:

every now and then, we go to the village and offer the peasants resources they desperately need in exchange for a young girl. the peasants will probably assume we don't intend to give the girl back and will treat her poorly, and that will be exactly correct. once the deal is done, me and my jay pea brothers will take the girl back to the mansion, where she will be an outlet for all of our desires. these desires can range from brutal slave treatment, sexual relief to loving doting paternal instinct. my desire is to personally will train the girl to be a kind of medieval warrior, arming her with weapons on the training field, but of course keeping them locked away when training is over. once the jay peas get bored or sick of her, especially when she reaches her mid teens, i will fight her in a one on one death match. it will be unfair of course because i will be fully armed and she will be wearing bikini armor and a small, ineffective weapon such as a wooden dagger. i will also have a gun in my pocket just in case.

upon her death, the more unsavory jay peas might like to sexually relish her cold corpse until she becomes too rotten to use. then we put her corpse in a strong bag, fastened to a weight, sail out to sea and throw her body overboard.

then the cycle will continue. we will return to the peasant village and get another girl. as a rule we will never get more than one at a time, it would be too selfish and might cause the peasants to revolt or leave.

>>20782709
fairy threads help

>>20790144
Please sign me up

>>20790144
I'm very interested in this

>>20790144
please do not bully ok
ok

>>20790144
Within five months I will convince my fellow security guards to overthrow you in a coup and elect a first consul in your place

We will still demand young girls as sexual tribute but we won't kill them, this isn't a chuuni VN. Instead as we get older we will marry off the lolis to the older guards. They will get several years of risk-free loli rape but will eventually be expected to breed their JC wife and have enough children to go the compound

>>20790545
*grow the compound

>>20790058
What has you so curious?

>>20790545
you don't really think much do you? do you know who is providing for your basic needs? you don't have a farm and i doubt the villagers will feed you for free, unless you decide to go native and live and work your fat neet hands to the bone with them.

what are you left with after you kill me? a big house shared with a bunch of opportunistic men who have turned on their own benefactor. you might have plans to create your own family through my benevolence and generosity since you couldn't on your own, but never forget that i created the /jp/ mansion purely for my entertainment. once we grow elderly and die, it will all stop, like we never existed and neither did our victims. the mansion will be abandoned to the elements. i do not plan to leave behind some kind of shitty normass legacy where some fucking losers were able to start their own lovey dovey rape family.

i will be very particular in the jay peas i hire and will test your ass to the limits to find out what kind of character you really are. in fact, if i fly you over to my mansion and you don't make the final cut, you're not going back. you're just going to die and disappear off the face of the planet.

>>20790635
based and redpilled

>>20790635
>i will be very particular in the jay peas i hire and will test your ass to the limits to find out what kind of character you really are. in fact, if i fly you over to my mansion and you don't make the final cut, you're not going back. you're just going to die and disappear off the face of the planet.
i think if i wanted to go through that i'd just get a job..

>>20789423
三月精

>>20782709
Learn to cook and eat meat. Feasting on cooked flesh made me happy and now i have a goal to become the chef at home.

I live to take it easy everyday doing what I like. Obligations aren't for me, I will enjoy everyday taking care of my cats, drawing, playing games and watching animr till I drop dead. And take care of the family too, I guess.
Someday I'll reach maximum comfy zone, move into a bigger area with my family and have a farm where I name cows after big titty touhous.

>>20782709
I live to be happy, and when that doesn't work i live for myself. I dont have anyone else to really live for right now, hopefully will in the future.

I still haven't given up hope. I think "maybe some day something good will happen" even though I'm not doing anything to make this more likely.

>>20791494
Sounds comf. Good luck man.

Life may suck, but you can always keep trying to make it better at least. Doing simple things like cooking or cleaning your room can at least change your mood around in a good way.

>>20787778
SOU NAN DESS KAR?

>>20791743
Try getting a hobby, making models, drawing, jogging. Something to keep you busy and actually doing something other than just sitting around, feeling miserable. Trust me it actually helps.

Try sitting around feeling miserable, such melancholy can at least prod upon deeper sores than mindless distractions.

>>20791797
Thank you.

>>20791743
love this chang pic

>>20787052
Based, redpilled and vampirelolibellypilled.

>>20791929
Anything for a fellow Sketchbook fan.

The incoming proletarian revolution. Any day now.

>>20791704
Same. But the weird part is that my "maybe some day something good will happen" slowly shifted to a "random pathetic but painless death in the few occasions I leave my house" scenario as the NEET years pilled on.
At first I was sure I was destined to a normie, boring family. Now... I think it's t00 late yet I don't do a single thing to change it.

>>20784897
This man gets it, wait until the equilibrium and then you get the chance to fuck your waifu for real

>>20793196
This implies my waifu isn't already real and that I'm not already fucking her, goml.

>>20791872
Will that help even if I feel insecure, not about myself but my surroundings?

>>20782709
Just waiting for my parents to be gone so I can do so as well.
Since the last thing I was trying to stop trying to kill myself was my waifu's manga, but shit is about to go down and I know Touhou will not last long either.
So do I.

But hey, on a positive side, I still like 2hus in bras so I guess this should be my next goal in the meantime.
And here's a song for everyone which I love so much.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIrarOAxqWw

>>20786682
This is probably the most difficult thing that I have read ITT, anon.
>>20787079
>>20789423
Either he has three daughters, three daughterus or three 2D wives (i.e. haremfag).
We will never know the real answer.

>>20796022
Also adding that I do realize I am cheating on my waifu when I am beating my meat to other girls other than her.
But shit, waifuism is long dead in /a/ and almost in /c/, there isn't a standard anymore so might as well become a haremfag too.

>>20796022
>my waifu's manga, but shit is about to go down
What do you mean?

>>20796076
The manga is no longer popular, most likely not selling in Japan and it is now in the void of forgotten manga in the west.
And it doesn't help that the mangaka is playing Fate every day and tweeting about it in his shitty twitter account, as well the other manga he was making finished last year's December.
The worst part is that he has done many events when one of his manga has a new volume and he always wants to sign many fans' books, yet no one comes anymore.

The clock is ticking for a sudden shitty end for once or manga being cancelled in order to make spot for another shitty generic manga.

>>20796117

Which manga are we talking about, WaHH?

>>20796132
My waifu's not a 2hu, sorry for the misunderstanding.
Still, I hope 2hus don't end either but who knows anymore?

>>20796142

What manga does your waifu own

>>20796142
2hus are eternal, no need to fear

>>20796151
Eh?

I'm living so I can rake together enough money to buy a shotgun and blow my brains out. In the meantime I'm just enjoying whatever I can and want to before I go

>>20796261
Just jump from a skyscraper or something. Equally as effective (as long as you fall on concrete/asphalt) and you can do a bunch of totally sick flips and stuff.

>>20796306
>and you can do a bunch of totally sick flips and stuff
ask me how I know you've never jumped from a skyscraper

>>20796359
If skydivers can do it, why can't you?

>>20796050
>We will never know the real answer.
I have tulpas. You may call me insane, but they are real to me and important to me. They make my life worthwhile and I want to live for their sake. If I were to die, so would they.

>>20796379
Tulpas are okay.
Only normalfags hate them or /x/fags doing some shitposting.

I lack the guts to off myself.

>>20796583
this
I'd like a dream where one of my waifus gives me the all clear for getting the fuck out of here, never happens though

I sometimes regret not offing myself in my teen years, since I've amounted to nothing now. But I try to look forward to glimmers of happiness that I could possible find in the future. I keep telling myself I'll move towards my own happiness, but I'm 26 with no prospects and everything still looks bleak.

Maybe I'll teach English in Japan for a few years.

Train decapitation looking more appealing every day.

I'm honestly annoyed that these kind of threads and a lot of real weeb I know feel that they're very redpilled, wallowing in self pity, having "depression is cool" mindset, having negative thoughts on life, and generally just being negative in life outside of weeb stuffs

Of course life is bad but there are so many things that can be changed by yourself ffs. SoL sells precisely because it reflects our deep desire to have an idealistic life like that, where you aren't even a hero of a grand adventure, but where you can just chill and have fun with others. Unlike in SoL you need to actually find and fight for those kind of life in real life you know

>>20796050
>This is probably the most difficult thing that I have read ITT, anon.
Much easier said than done yeah, but having good family, good relationships, and good friends will at least bring you close to that. I'm not that old but I think I start to genuinely understand why the fuck cute idealistic SoL is often for adults

>>20787451
>even if they did it'd be irrelevant because they're only worthwhile in Japan.
>I can't draw nor compose, what could I possibly offer for the production.
You give up too soon anon, just learn whatever you want and building relationships outside of work. Also as far as I know, friendships build as an adult that's based on a common hobby is actually very low-risk especially compared to work-based or neighborhood-based relationships

Please consider aiding the big J mansion fund with your cool money before you leave for Gensoukyou!

>>20782709
I'll improve my life someday, I swear.

>>20782709
a better tomorrow

stay offline and talk to people, bud
you may or may not find cool people, people you want to spend time with

they can't find you if you're not out there you know

>i want to know what everyone here is living for
Making others suffer

Thread practically ended, but I just want to wish you guys the best even if you feel like a lowlife that no one will even look at.
Even my life is shit right now, I haven't even completed a fucking associate's degree nor have got a job, but as long I continue breathing, I will try to have some hope in the meantime I may die of natural causes or killed by someone else so I do not stain my hands with my own blood.

And it has been over a year since I said this with much honesty and authenticity, but I like you guys just like I liked certain individuals that had the same beliefs as I did once:
Oyasumi, thread.

>>20799162
Thanks, anon. See you in Gensokyo.

>>20797249
2redpilled4u buddy

>>20790144
I don't know if you're trolling or sincere, either way what you described is an evil thing to do.

>>20785894
Why did I read that like Gangsta's Paradise's lyrics

>>20782709
I lived for the sake of deleting your shitposts in 2013. I miss you

>>20798973

>>20789282
>Attempting to improve things makes it worse

I can corroborate this. After 6 years being a NEET and having near to no human contact, I decided I'd finally accept the "fact" that only you can help yourself. I'd change things.

I started exercising. I spent two fucking years sending resumes and going to interviews until I finally got a job, with which I intended to finally be able to live by myself. I learned to cook and started eating better, lots of meat and avoiding carbs and sugar. I even started classes to get my diver's license.

Did my life improve?

Exercise only made the pain from my genetic disease worse. Cooking only reduced the amount of free time I had and had literally zero effect on how shit I felt all the time. Working also made the pain worse and stacked total exhaustion on top of that, plus it turned out you can't actually afford to rent any place in my country with minimal wage. I couldn't get my driver's license because driving hurts so fucking much I simply wasn't able to get good enough at it.

I failed at absolutely everything I tried to achieve. I thought I was a failure before, but now I KNOW it. That will ruin you far more than any amount of years being a hikki.

Sorry for blogging, and about a post that is two days old at that, but it really struck a nerve and I couldn't hold myself back.

>>20782885
What happened to Yutanpo? And my buddy, j? Can we all watch Aria together like the old days?

I got a doctorate and decent job. I have hobbies that keep me happy most if the time, but life does still feel empty. Right now my main goals are to just make more money, visit Japan to bang girls (normal and working ones), and repeat.

>>20802271
Well, sounds like you were pretty misguided, imagine if you spent that time learning Jap(if you would like to), or cooking fun delicious dinners instead of nutrition deposits, if there's a skill or hobby out there that sounds like it'd be fun to partake in then that'd be a better investment and improvement to you than some prescribed method of becoming healthy. Can't blame you though, everyone's out there to shill the health/lifestyle memes they were convinced of.
Surely that money went to use though? You can buy cute soft girls and stuff...or at least yummy food/games/whatever the fuck else eases the pain of existence.

>>20796379
>>20796431
I remember really wanting to get a tulpa some years back, how do I do it?

>>20786610
>I also want to lose my virginity to a Japanese cosplay whore in a love hotel
Are you me? That's exactly what I'm planning to do when I learn enough Japanese to go to Comiket or Reitaisai.

>>20802376
daydream heaps about your waifu

a: Spite.
b: To watch the world burn.
Sometimes, you just learn to love the fireworks. Especially when you're the bastard lighting them.
Hang in there, anon.

>>20802408
You don't really need much Japanese to go to Comiket. I'm not a virgin, but I did fuck 8 whores and visited a pink salon for a blowjob on my last trip there.

>>20782709
I want to live until at least I'm 30 to see if I really become a wizard

>>20782709
I'm destined to save the world, so every night I train my skills with weaponry and spell casting.

My inheritance. that's all I look forward to. I'll quit my job, buy a small house in a secluded spot outside the city and live by myself wthout having to work. Maybe get into bodybuilding. I could become the most prolific serial killer of the 21st century.

I've contemplated suicide many times but haven't done it because of two main reasons:

1. As long as I'm alive, there exists the possibility of being happy. I don't have much hope at this point though.

2. Suicide is always an option. I don't have to do it today. I'll always have the possibility of doing it later if life becomes too unbearable.

Other than that, I try to face real life in a stoic way, not caring too much about things, and just indulge in hobbies I enjoy such as cute music, anime, games and learning Japanese. I might try crossdressing (of course, privately in my room) soon too, I think I'll enjoy wearing cute dresses. But overall I'm still not convinced to keep living. There is just way too much psychological suffering compared to good moments, and adult daily life is just hellish.

>>20802614
>I don't have to do it today
Even to kill yourself you procrastinate, anon.

>>20802618
Yes, I suppose you could describe it that way. I realize it's a bit paradoxical, but if you could only kill yourself every 25 years for example, I'm not sure I'd be typing this right now.

>>20802328
>if there's a skill or hobby out there that sounds like it'd be fun to partake in

No such thing. Even if there were, it would probably hurt to much to do it.
You're right though, my time probably would've indeed been better spend learning japanese. Playing games hurts too much too, so watching anime and reading manga has been all I've been able to do.

>>20802446
I do a lot of lucid dreaming where I'm able to hold control over my imagination to some extent.
I tried doing that a lot but all I ended up with was muttering to my waifu instead of myself at times.

>>20802692
Lucid dreams are annoying, I'll only barely be able to fly having to push off objects occasionally, or instead of willing myself to Gensokyo as soon as I become aware I have some strange thought about finding a private place to do so, can't have dream residents seeing someone teleport can I now?

>>20802692
>>20802779
Isn't it easier just to close your eyes and imagine whatever you want?

>>20802812
Easier, but far less rewarding. Can't compare fucking Orin in my head to fucking her in the dreamworld. That said, I'm not having any difficulty because I don't try to have lucid dreams, I just have them sometimes.

>>20782709
Another hero

If you live in a turd world country, start a revolution or a coup d'etat. You'll be too busy trying to keep yourself alive.

>>20802523
This post would be a lot more humorous if it didn't read like someone was making fun of my stupid delusions of grandeur.

>>20802454
I'm >>20798973, but what you wrote sounds like a better representation of what I think.
Of course, I don't know if being motivated by hatred is the same as being motivated by spite.

>>20803299
Just kill live animals and go from there. You might make it as a career killer.

>>20803310
Cretinous. Killing human pissants? That's ok. Animals? Pitiful.

>>20782868
How do I make money like you then, because work isn't that fun

>>20803310
>You might make it as a career killer.
Serial killers have awful pension plans
>>20803356
imagine trying to be edgy but also signaling your morals at the same time

>>20803968
I'm like the yin-yang baby.

>>20803464
trade. i buy things and i resell them at a higher price. i started by selling water bottles at conventions, now i supply corner stores with niche merchendise

buy low, sell high.

the biggest profits are made during purchase, that's an old salesman proverb

godspeed anon, we are all going to make it

>>20804024
>buy low, sell high
wtf, this isn't what /biz/ taught me

>>20804030
oh shit i'm sorry

>>20804024
>ow i supply corner stores with niche merchendise
Do you seriously think the /jp/sies here have the self-confidence and social skills required to pitch/cold call corner stores?

PINEAPPLE PEN

>>20804558
https://youtu.be/ybdHLxsIFsE

>>20790144
>gun in my pocket just in case
Don't risk it.

>>20790144
You're not going to last long in some third world shithole with nothing but a couple of jpsies on their computers to protect you. Some local drug lord will just prosaically dispatch one his smaller hit squads to take all of your money after brutally torturing and murdering you and everyone you hired. All that money you had wouldn't have been enough to get any professional to protect your child rape mansion anyway.
That's assuming the villagers themselves didn't already do you in after the the second time you dragged your unwashed ass to the village.

>>20798973
>>20803299
>>20803356
There are billions of people who suffer as well, not just you, and instead of choosing to help them, you want to make their lives worse. Disgusting.

>>20806007
Why are you taking him seriously

Live for yourself. Contrary to appearances, there is nothing external. The things you react to on the outside are things you've imagined and brought into existence. Not in a psychological way, but a metaphysical one. It's not easy to change your thoughts and beliefs but once you do your world will change.

>>20806752
Having OCD, being ugly, having no friends, not having a place where you feel at home, are not imaginations. The only reason I haven't killed myself is because I don't want to make my family suffer. I wish for death every day, and I feel jealous of people who have died.

>>20806704
Stay mad

>>20806788
You're still focusing on the external. It's like focusing on the shadows an object is casting. Despite what you believe now you are not powerless. Everything stems from your consciousness. I was a NEET until I was 30, worked absolutely no jobs, got kicked out of college, abusive parents, was homeless for almost a year... But it didn't change until I realized all that was something I created. If I created all the negative in my life, why couldn't I do it in the opposite polarity? You are not that shitty story you identify with, you are not a victim. You can leave it behind at any time. Imagination is stronger than any force in the world.

Programming has been keeping me alive for the past 6 years.

That and 2D escapism when the depression creeps in.

Sometimes I fall into a slump and wonder why I'm doing all this, and what's the point.

When that happens I try to re-ignite my interest in programming, and tell myself that it really matters.

Then I'll be content just studying programming and telling myself that it's my purpose in life.

At least for another while until the cycle begins anew.

>>20806830
This post reminds me of that scene in American Psycho where Bateman tells a homeless bum that he has a negative attitude keeping him down before stabbing him to death

>>20806830
Imagination is super and all but you got any anecdotes for how this new-age-blabber has magic'd your life better?

find something to fight for /jp/!

What the fuck do I fight for?

Defend your waifu's honour when people insult her online.

I am always excited for when about to sleep
I get to think of fantastic dreamworlds uninterrupted and participate in it, very nice feeling at times

>>20806830
To me it just sounds like some incredible stroke of luck improved your life and you've retroactively convinced yourself through delusional logic about "positive thoughts" that it was totally by your own merit that you've achieved things.

>>20806964
Fight for yourself, your self interest

If you're planning to commit suicide, you should take as many normies with you as you can first. If you just kill yourself, it's their victory and they'll be happy that you're gone. Don't let them win, don't give them satisfaction of destroying you.
Fight the good fight. It's you or them.

>>20807442
Go back to /r9k/. There is already enough pointless suffering in the world to cause more.

>>20806830
if you were homeless for a while then what are you doing now? i am assuming you can afford rent.
what i disagree with you is how you think you created everything. you said yourself your parents are abusive. and i can relate to that 100%, but if you created all that then somehow you it is your fault your parents were abusive? that doesn't make sense to me.
because of my abusive parents i have no choice in almost anything in life. i am also a NEET and a fucking miserable one at that. and those were not by my choice.

>>20807442
Spree killers are meme-tier sociopaths

>>20782709
Are you still a virgin?

>>20782709
You're 100% guaranteed to end up dead, whether that's now or later. Just focus on having a good time and kill yourself when that doesn't work out for you. Just try and string together enjoyable experiences and don't worry too much about the rest of it. If you've given up on having a fulfilling life and are genuinely considering suicide then what's the big deal.

>>20808381
the way I look at it is that you have forever to be dead and a limited time to exist
it keeps me going

>>20785749
i love tkmiz

>>20787112
>>20789008
>>20789004
>>20789423
based
>>20789485
cringe

>>20806788
>Having OCD
feel you on this one, at least. Obsessions are a fucking hassle. Sometimes when it got really bad I've thought I'd better end it. Antidepressants and socialize helped.

>>20782709
Vanilla WoW release

Also that bangin sex doll that ate most of my tax refund. Also for those AMD 3000s so I can build a 4k machine.

>>20809356
let me play with you
stormblood was a nice escape from the shame that is current wow but it's far away from being good, I also played a few characters to 60 during nostalrious but stopped after it got shut down.

>>20807442
These days you don't know even know if this fag should go back to /pol/, reddit or /r9k/

Why does that desire for suicide feel like an external force? It's more like being pulled like a rope towards killing yourself, makes me wonder that maybe suicide is not a choice, or maybe it's when you start to agree with the feeling that you go and pull it off?
It seems so absurd on these times I feel fine, but after enough isolation it starts creeping back.

>>20788994
Being in the army is 100% ass. Would not recommend

>>20808381
>>20808454
Sorry friends but death isn't even close to the end of your eternal torment.

>>20807442
Glowies begone.

Family, friends, hobbies, the possibility of a 3D wife.

>>20809756
> the possibility of a 3D wife.
That's disgusting.

>>20809756
3D wife and a Sanae pic.
You love sluts, don't you?

I am not really living for anything anymore but to keep my loved ones from being sad.

I have been an emotional wreck for well over a decade, had suicidal thoughts since I was 9 or 10, have been diagnosed with and in therapy because of OCDs, depression, and mild psychotic issues. I've tried to kill myself and failed and I might have killed someone in one of my episodes. I never confirmed it.

I force myself to smile a lot and no one seems to even be able to tell the difference anymore. When I laugh, people immediately think that things are going better for me. Even my close friends are now unable to tell when something is wrong unless I break doen crying, but even then I feel like I shouldn't bother them, so I keep pretending. I regularly have nightmares that I want to prevent so badly that I stay awake for too long and drink alcohol because it keeps me from dreaming sometimes.
I love my hobbies, but since I hate myself and life, it doesn't feel as though they can keep me alive.
The worst is that there are people looking up to me. People keep complementing my skills, my physique, and seem to think that I am an accomplished person. I wonder how long it will take for my little sister to realize that her big brother is actually not strong or talented, but weak. Thinking about how my death would break her heart makes me shake all over and I am crying as I type this. But I don't know how long I can guilt-trip myself into keeping on. I am just an aggressive, hateful guy filled with irrational disgust for so many things, and I loathe myself.

Today is my birthday and I am spending it alone, drinking and reading through the jay, and this thread filled with people with problems similar to my own, or those strong enough to have overcome them.

I hope you all have a great life and find something that makes you happy/stay happy.

>>20809883
>Thinking about how my death would break her heart makes me shake all over and I am crying as I type this
I know how you feel, man.

I used to have friends, that I'd be able to talk to from time to time. That was fun.

They've been dead for almost a decade.

I realised that trying to find a reason to live, is useless. I gave up on that.

I don't know why I'm still here. I don't really think about those things.

I like to think about my friends.

I guess I like to think about my friends, and I can't do that when I'm dead.

I don't know.

Remilia is nice to think about.

>>20782709
What's the point of being dead just because your life isn't the way you want it to be?

I haven't been to a brothel yet
That could be fun

Can't think of what I'd do after that though

>>20809883
Damn bro just be yourself and work out

>>20810024
to get change

>>20810024
What's the point of being alive if your life isn't the way you want it to be?

>>20782709
Why is this off topic crap still up? Do your job, janitors.

Slightly off topic, but isn't it weird how so many people (especially males, I'd say) have considered or are actually considering suicide? I cannot imagine the same situation 100 years ago. What happened in between? Is it because of the nihilism of our age? An abandonment of the spiritual? A weak upbringing? The lack of a strong male figure? Is it something in the water? Too many chemicals in our clothes? Genetics cannot be the cause, at least not the sole cause; my grandparents had it worse yet they were happy and industrious. I don't understand it.

i couldn't understand the hypocrisy of some posters here thinking they have the simple solution to people's problems.
oh you are depressed? gets happier! get hobbies! sick? get healthier! just work out! poor? just get rich! get a job! Lonely? go outside! make friends!
well, you think anyone is stupid enough that they don't know these already.

i am sure people all have their own reasons, but my problem arises from the lack of choices available. i grew up with abusive parents who pretty much made all of my decisions for me. they forced me to listen to their bullshit and yet they can't keep their own judgement straight. they are like a poor version of trump, speaking whatever is on their mind at the moment and defend that statement as if their life depended on it and then they just completely forget about it a few days later .

>>20815209
fewer wars
better medical technology
breakdown of tight family units
urbanization
alienation via interpersonal relationships shifting to media (telephones, then the internet)
cuts to mental health services
shift away from incarceration in sanitariums as a way to deal with the mentally ill
changes in diet
sedentary lifestyles

>>20815264
I also forgot the secularization of societies (mostly christian and buddhist)

>>20815209
2D otaku media made us realize how terrible the 3D world is.
People in the past were always busy with their jobs and family, but nowadays, life is much easier and people take longer to get a job and start a family, giving them more time to reflect on how much better their lives would be if it was like what you see in fiction and making them think their life is terrible, and once you think about that there's no going back. A lack of a healthy lifestyle and the amount of fictional works available to people only make the situation worse, specially when there aren't as many good male figures in their lives and in the media they consume to inspire and motivate them as there was in the past. Fathers barely spend any time with their sons nowadays.
At least that's my theory.
No idea why girls are depressed, though.

>>20790635
I want to give drawing and 3D modeling classes in the /jp/ mansion, /jp/ is creativity, we have a bunch of skilled peeps here

>>20809954
What happened to them?

>>20815443
you sound a little too optimistic about /jp/ talent. after seeing what the last 3 oc threads produced i can confidently say it's very unimpressive.

My depression was getting worse these past few months - I've been running out of money to sustain my NEET lifestyle and unable to find a job (as I always struggle but this time I am edging it to the point of risking ending up homeless). This may sound rude and selfish but this thread made me feel a bit better. Thanks as always for being there, /jp/. You are no longer the board I used to love but you are still million times better than other places on the internet.

>>20782709
Threads still Up. I too share your pain op. It's always comforting to know there are others who feel like me out there.

>>20815209
They had hopes.
In religion, political ideologies, technological progress, etc...

how do I find a job after being jobless for 7 years?
How do people that end up in a hospital or prison get a job after they are let out?
I've been a NEET for so long that at year 8 I struggle with so much depression and anxiety that I dont even want to go grocery shopping.
I'm so cynical at my age and scared of living life that I cant even get myself to try out new video games or engage in any sort of hobbies I used to be good at.

>>20790144
The dark secret of /jp/ mansion.

This board is for games and Japanese stuff. Take your worthless blog shit to /r9k/.