/jp/ - Otaku Culture

NONONONONONONONONO

No. Just no.

lol'd

In during trolling with the latest bubblegum fiction garbage teenagers are yelling about.

Also, I heard it ends with the guy knocking up the girl, and her having her spine broken giving birth to his demonic hellspawn baby. Kind of /d/ for a bunch of middle school kids, honestly.

>>2021761

>Also, I heard it ends with the guy knocking up the girl, and her having her spine broken giving birth to his demonic hellspawn baby. Kind of /d/ for a bunch of middle school kids, honestly.

I have the sudden urge to read this now.

>>2021770
Don't worry, it's not graphic at all.

>>2021770
She also gets a c section with vampire teeth and then the werewolf falls in love with the little half vampire girl.

Shut up Sam.

Or Jake. Or Hannah. Jesus, I don't know which one of you it is but seriously cut it the fuck out.

>>2021761
I think you're a fugly male who doesn't understand the real meaning of Twilight. Read it. Now. It WILL change your life. It changed mine, and I'm more beautiful now because of it.

>>2021770

You won't get that far, due to hundreds of pages of detailing just how FABULOUS Edward is, and sparkle fairies. There was a chart of just how many times they mention how beautiful "X" feature of him is. It added up to over 750.

FUCK THIS THREAD

>>2021790

Hello OP. Still at it?

Is this like the new Goosebumps?

>Twilight
Thread hidden/reported

>>2021784
that's a shame. almost made me want to read Twilight..

>>2021723
>Twilight
Twilight is the cancer killing literature, go die in a hole OP
>>2021790
That goes for you too

I wish I could sage, but fuck this thread

>FABULOUS vampires
>spine breaking childbirth
>young girls are into it (social lubricant for pedos)

/jp/, this book was made for you.

>>2021840
No, just no

I still have no idea what Twilight is.

>>2021813
>>Is this like the new Goosebumps?

Is it? Then why do the other kiddies in here hate it?

>>2021840
...Where do we have FABULOUS vampires? Wallachia will fuck your shit up, Nero was a beast (666 of them, if you want to be literal), Arc... well, okay, Arc, but SHIKI and Roa were psychopathic rapist motherfuckers, and Rider manages to be a rapist, an attempted mass-murderer, and a sadist of the highest order at the same time.

>>2021813

Not really, Goosebumps never pretended to be anything more then a children's horror book series. Twilight is basically some hack author's Anne Rice knock-off with a horrible Mary Sue main character, imagine Anne Rice saying she just finished the most homoerotic vampire novel of all time only for Twilight to kick down the door and shout 'OH YEAH?!'

It's basically pulp fiction teen romance written about vampires to appeal to teenage girls with no literary experience.

>>2021813
>>2021852

Goosebumps was horror-lite for kids. Also, the choose your own adventure style ones were awesome. It had fans, but they didn't try to push it on you and name it a revolution in literature.

This can't even be classified as horror. It's like a badly written TV drama thrown down on paper.

>she bends over, and there's a rip, and instantly they start preparing for the pregnancy. the baby had like ripped through her, and she was screaming and blood was pouring out her mouth and stuff. so they strapped her down, let morphine spread in her, cut her open, and took the baby out. then jacob gave her cpr while edward bit her all over and shot a needle with his venom in it into her heart
do soccer moms know their daughters are reading stuff like this?

A picture speaks more than a thousand words.

My 12 year old imouto and her friends love this Twilight shit.

>>2021871

I come from /k/ with Deagle Brand Deagles.

Ciel comes with some sort of horse-girl gun type thing.

>AND YOU HAVE MY BOW

>>2021913
Ciel's my personal favorite, but I didn't want to derail the thread into discussion about whether or not being linked to Roa makes her a full-on vampire.

...Actually, that's probably the best thing that could come from a Twilight thread. Let's derail this bitch.

So it's Western light novel stuff?

Good thing it isn't Japanese, or it would belong here.

Sounds like Tsukihime in America.

You're not getting me to read this yet again.

>>2021889

>Also, the choose your own adventure style ones were awesome.

Fuck yes. Make one bad choice, and you were subject to some pretty messed up BAD ENDs. Sawing your Mother in half then exploding, being fed limb by limb to circus animals, etc.

>>2021928
It's like Tsukihime with worse writing, 1-dimensional characters, no choices, no h-scenes, and no pictures.

>>2021932
Even the regular CYOA books had some crazy shit. There was this one where your character was shrinking down so they could positively identify quarks; there were so many ways to die, or get crushed or eaten or what-have-you, that I never finished the book. (I was... ten? I think?)

Let's just have Flandre kick everyone in the balls and call it a day.

>>2021934

>Tsukihime with worse writing

DOH HO HO HO HO.

>>2021953
Hard to imagine, isn't it? But having read both, I can confirm this.

>>2021932
Needs moar vore.

>>2021932

I liked the one with the Purple Peanut Butter, in a surprisingly common and easy to find ending you become a giant monster and accidentally destroy the entire earth, then grow so large your head leaves the atmosphere suffocate in space.

It's too bad the kids of today won't grow up with that.

>>2021932

I liked the one with the Purple Peanut Butter, in a surprisingly common and easy to find ending you become a giant monster and accidentally destroy the entire earth, then grow so large your head leaves the atmosphere and you suffocate in space.

It's too bad the kids of today won't grow up with that.

>>2021965
Oh, wow, I saw this on the floor in my sister's room the other day. I forgot I had it.

Fighting Fantasy was here, Goosebumps is a loser.

>Twilight is awesome

what? I can't stand it, my aunt gave me the book to read (It's written by a mormon you have to read it!) and in 6 months I've made it to page 30. I even had to sit through the movie, God kill me

>>2022044
Tell her about the child rape and explosive birthing. Maybe you can spark a large scale religious outrage against it.

>>2022070
They talked about that scene one night at my other aunt's house for HOURS

>>2022044

>god, kill me

What do Mormons believe in again? Is your god an angry bastard like the Jews and the Muslims?

>>2022103
Mormonism is a form of Christianity..

>>2022116

With a Messiah somewhere from the Midwest, correct?

I would like to see Remi tear a path through the twilight vampires, pausing occasionally for an ojou-sama laugh. In the meantime Sakuya stabs Bella with knives slowed down by her time manipulation. So on the outside it's at normal speed while to Bella she is taking an eternity to die.
Edward comes to save her but Flan rips him apart.

>>2022103
He can be, something God cannot stand is teaching children to do evil. A society is allowed to exist for so long as it doesn't start saying that murder, rape, and things are good. Also the reason why the Jaredites and Nephites were destroyed in the book of Mormon was because they allowed "secret combinations" in other words like the mafia to not only exist but to thrive. There's a point where God just says "Fuck You All" and wipes them off the face of the earth.

Barring that he's pretty nice.

>>2022132
The garden of Eden AKA Adam-ondi-Ahman is in Missouri which may be where you've gotten confused. Names of places and rivers were latter given to other places and rivers when Noah and his family arrived in the "old world" which is why hunting for the heads of rivers, the 4 rivers, and such confuses people looking for it's location in modern day Iraq.

Yes, we believe this. Make fun all you want

Won't answer more, to not make too thread too much a loli discussion.

>>2022175
are there any hot mormon girls

>>2022179

That's like asking if there are any honest politicians.

>>2022146
I dislike Twilight as much as the next guy, but it's like I'm reading a really, really, ass-terrible post on a teen animu forum.

>>2022179
many of the ones around here are pretty hot actually. the guys not so much.

>>2022198

The OP is still here, trolling away.

>>2022175
>The garden of Eden AKA Adam-ondi-Ahman is in Missouri
I live in Missouri, and I have to say, this place looks NOTHING like a "garden of Eden"

Twilight has -slightly- deader humans.

Remi is all vampire.

>>Twilight
Reverse the genders. You would love it.

>>2022179
many of them around here are pretty hot, actually. the guys not so much.

>>2022214

>>2022228
what? who would that be? Edward?

>>2022215

This anon is a virgin. He has no standards based on reality. He actually thinks the wimminz are hotter than the other sweaty disgusting failfags.

>>2022228
what the fuck? don't compare Hazuki to that Bella slut

>>2022234
pot, kettle, etc...

>>2022132
Their messiah is Joseph Schmidt. He started the church to get nonprofit status for his chocolate business.