/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Maids are olev

Lilims are olev

Surrender to the might of Wonderland Centaur.

>>18638651
maybey for most people, but not for me

>>18638794
Never. KC said he's finished with Wonderland

>>18638836
Good

>>18638836
so what is next?

>>18638857
Neverland

>>18638857
>>18638865
Otherland

>>18638836
He said that and then Jubjub/Humpty Egg, and Trumpart.

>>18638836
>Done with Wonderland

A bold claim, but where are the proofs?

Fuck I want a Cockatrice image of that proofs thing.

Never thought I'd see the day
When a big boat coming my way
Believe me when I say
I fucked a mermaid

>>18638836
Surrender to the might of Automaton Centaur

>>18638891
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDhCgAoggX8
I want you to know that I held myself back from posting this the first time you posted that.

qt muscular onis

>>18638889

>>18638820
Even if you have literal autism you can do it. It's very formulaic.

>>18638926
>a 4chan post with no quote is proof
>"I don't know where he said it but..."
That's my uncle works at nintendo levels of proof.

I only buy the finest yogurts for my waifu.

>>18638981
Can monsters ever eat yogurt normally?

dragon queens are for _____!

>>18639005
Submitting to.

>>18639005
Cuddling.

>>18639005
laying

>>18638871
Oneeland.

>>18639036

I want both.

>>18638926
This sounds like a monstergirl encyclopedia entry.

>>18639005
Breaking into her hoard with my waifu for a heist.

>>18639058
Is this Setz?

Loving the maids!

>>18639102
>>/jp/image/cJWwJqx_mnDe0wk1fv3Odg
Stop.

>>18639005
Slaying

>>18639152
>he hasn't filtered the image

>>18639159
>Not filtering every post that contains vowels

>>18639005
Giving a family too. Also, all dragons are royalty.

>>18639166
but if you did that you'd eliminate every post.

>>18639005
The sweet cold grip of Undeath.

Anons with non-mge waifus, who is your lucky lady?

>>18639181
It gives me well needed peace and quiet.

>>18639187
Holo a great

>>18639187
7 years and going strong.

>>18639187
This abomination.

>>18639092
Yes.

>>18638836
>>18638926
>Done with Wonderland
>He could've easily made Greenworm appeal to the onee-san and multi-arms crowd by making her into a blue "Ara ara" type MG with three or four pairs of arms
>Luring in men with soporific, almost opiate like smoke from a hookah mixed with her personal mana
>Telling men who wander into the gargantuan forests that It's best to stop worrying about whether or not two inches tall is a fine height or not as she nurses him into orgasm. Over and over.

>>18639187

>>18639152
Report and ignore.

>>18639264
Dodo/Duchess in a big poofy dress when?

>>18639278
What kind of girl would a Dodo be?

Watch out for bridge trolls!

>>18639187
Our Lady of Fluff.

>>18639281
Stuck up noble? Someone who basically lectures newcomers to Wonderland on the """rules""" of the place and has them do ridiculous errands that corrupt them with Wonderland's illogic?

Basically not a trickster like the Cheshire Cat, but not quite as high up the totem pole as the Red Queen. An authority figure that ensnares people with rules and arguments, all while being aristocratically lewd as fuck.

>>18639299
Sounds like my kind of lady.

>>18639187
Can't post her

>>18639288
https://danbooru.donmai.us/pools/11072

>>18639322
>hammer
No thanks.

Warning: Batteries overcharged

>>18639340
And that's how that Automaton snusnu'd her young master and made him a man.

Are there any monsters who retained what their venom/poison/acid/whatever did when they became girls, or did they all just become some flavor of 'makes guys horny'? I feel like some of the paralytic or acidic ones could still fun.

>>18639351
Acids that could melt away clothes might be useful to a lewd monster, but yeah. It seems like anything that used venom for hunting is kinda screwed.

>>18639351
Hornet girl stings can paralyze men so they can easily carry them to their hive.

>>18639351
Does a Sandworm's internal fluids melt clothes too?

>>18639351
I want to force her to birth a whole pack of Girros girls. Breed the lizard.

>>18639351
Take a wild guess.

>>18639351
I think she'd still has her paralytic bite. Just look at her fang.

You're gonna get squeezed tight after she does that though.

>>18639351
MGE? I don't think so, but that doesn't stop you from doing so.

>>18639391
Poor Naja. Bug stick already invalidated her most dangerous move when it could just jump. How will she compete with bugcopters now?

>Married to a Cheshire
>Attending your very successful, very rich brother's wedding
>You're the best man
>There are a lot of rich and powerful people attending
>Halfway through the ceremony, you feel a sensation on your cock
>Your eyes snap to your wife, who has the most evil grin you've ever seen on her face
>Your cock swells, but nothing in your pants changes
>You feel your cock slide into something tight and immediately realize what happened
>As if waiting for your realization, she mouths "It's in my ass" at you
>She then shifts in her seat a bit, making sure to wiggle her hips as much as she can without calling attention to herself
>You look to her left and see her sister doing everything in her power to stifle her laughter
>You silently pray that your poker face holds and decide that when this is all over, you're going to turn your wife's ass so red that it'll be visible from space

>>18639347
Automanee would never steal her young master's virginity!

>>18639435
No one knows how they'll behave when their core is rebooting thanks to that Raiju.

>>18639444
Raiju is going to regret her actions after master's sisters are done with him.

>>18639435
>>18639444

>>18639435
An onahole can't take your virginity. Automatons are free to use their stress relieving functions on a technicality.

>>18639470
See, this is why you make her IFF protocols a priority on rebooting. Otherwise you're gonna have a half-crazed Automaton coming after you.

>>18639480
Damn those cute Automatons and their technicalities!

Are ushis disappointed if you don't react much?

>>18639432
>the state of 2018's mgt storywriting

I want to snort powdered raging mushrooms out of my daughteru's asshole!

>Excuse me sir, do you have a second to listen to the word of Poseidon?

>>18639560
Depends, you got a minute or two to be disappointed?

>>18639560
Do they have internet down there?

>>18639539
Well, the vanilla Arachne's profile says they get bored and release their victim if he doesn't struggle while they're raping him. Perhaps the Ushi-Oni is the same way.

>>18639551
Greentexts have been a thing since before Jesus founded America.

>>18639288
We already have a lady of fluff.

>>18639551
Bollocks pls

>>18639610
Too bad that one has car tires for hands.

>>18639619
That was unironically not even me. I actually enjoy greentexts for the most part. Stupid e-drama that seems to sprout up every other day here in recent weeks, not so much.

>>18639624
Yet she still gives great handjobs.

>>18639560
>Full day of rejections
>Everyone is either too busy, uninterested or actively hostile
>She tries to keep up a cheerful smile, but it's so hard
>Then someone finally stops and listens to her
>He's super attentive, ask thoughtful questions.
>The talk stretches into a long conversation, touching upon theology and philosophy she hasn't had a chance to talk about in years. He seems very convinced.
>She might just get her first conversion!
>Her heart races, her tone goes from measured and deliberate to intensely personal, so happy she could cry.
>It's so close!
>He's so close!
>Suddenly he shrugs, says "Sounds kinda silly" and leaves her without another word
Do your best, Missionary-chan.

https://exhentai.org/g/546477/8b2b10c320/

>>18639652

>>18639643
>Local man dragged into the sea
>Suspect says she has had enough of the rejections
>Bought to you by Ratatoskr News Network

>>18639660

>>18639624
Big meaty paws are a blessing you plebeians could never appreciate.

>>18639677
Put pillows over both of your hands and attempt to do anything.

What are the best ideas you've had for alternate hairstyles/colors/outfits/colorschemes, etc. regarding species you like?

>>18639677
Holding hands with Yeti-chan and walking to school!

>>18639696
Any royalty/noble/high class MG with twin drills

>>18639696
Stop posting obese girls.

>>18639712
All royal MGs need either drills or a hime cut.

>>18639715
She needs those titties to feed her daughterus.

>>18639722
Fatfags leave.

>>18639643
What if you told her she can tell you about Poseidon all she wants if she Marrys you

>>18639696
White hair and red eyes.

>>18639696
A black/crimson dragon with gradient orange hair and golden eyes.

>>18639696
Satyros with cream coloured fur and hair preferring to wear a rather demure robe stained in grape juices from the pulping process, the fur on her lower legs near her ankle blending into the deep violet-red colour of her monastery's brewery.

Red Dragons wearing gold filigree on their horns to show status and attract the affectations of menfolk.

>>18639696
Night Gaunt that looks like Rei Ayanami.

>>18639696
She needs all that fluff to survive the harsh winters of the Ice Queen

>>18639753
It's only after I see this colored that I notice that Latenight drew that squirrel with thick proportions.

>>18639696
My best idea has been Kobolds with dark hair and a predisposition for wearing latex.

>>18639696
This one.

>>18639779
Actually pretty cute.

>>18639779
Cute nerd bird. I wonder what sort of literature she likes. I'm gonna guess poetry.

>>18639786
I know.

>>18639766
He draws all of his girls nice and plump.

>>18639753

>Fall comes
>Northern monster girls (ratas, white horns, trolls, etc.)delight in cheescakes, pumpkin pies, cranberry stuffing, and other autumnal flavors until they're nice, fluffy, and warm through the winter months

>Spring cometh
>Gym membership spikes as the "Oh god, that cute swimsuit I wanted to seduce my husband with doesn't fucking fit anymore!" panic sets in
>Akaname-chan's "Guaranteed Slim!" no matter how much you eat dietary supplement ripped from store shelves like a black friday in April
>Self help groups towards the end of summer where girls pledge to "keep off the pounds this time no matter how tasty pumpkin spice is."
>Guess how well that goes

The seasons are a cruel and vicious cycle to those ruled by their baser instincts.

>>18639800
I mean I personally don't usually see Crow Tengu as cute but she's got that sort of wall-flower appeal to her. Kind of like Velma

>>18639696
To be honest the best alternate hairstyles I've seen are those belonging to my mice. Bless diathorn for helping me pick qt hairstyles.

>>18639720
I'd love to see a black haired hime cut Vampire living in Zipangu as a miko.

>>18639747
Are you the dragonfag who got this? You have an amazing taste anon.

>>18639857
That I am and thanks! I really love how she came out and nano did too good of a job making her look cute.
I want my head between her thighs.

>>18639815
Clearly the best way for them to lose weight is to go on a sexercise regime!

>>18639826
That's what they're best at. Being unassuming and dorky, but cute enough to make you want to do all sorts of cutelewd with her.

>>18639815
That’s nice, although I’d probably have a grizzly that alters between ripped and strongfat

>>18639696
A loli anubis wearing this.

>>18639934
Not for long.

>>18639903
>tfw you will never turn a rata into a super adorable kissu slut

You may now kiss the bride.

>>18639942
It would look really good while it lasted, though.

>>18639815
Usually I love my monsters thicc, but I wouldn't mind my waifu slimming down in the spring then plumping up for winter over and over again. Not like she'll lose any fat in those big tits and ass she's got anyways.

>>18640019
I'm gonna look her in the eyes while I say 'I do'

>>18640019
Would rape beaming the audience be in poor taste or her duty as a hostess?

>>18640014
I want to turn Rata-chan into a kissu slut and then make her wear a padlocked ball gag all day!

You wouldn't cheat on your monster waifu would you?
Even if other monster girls were trying to take you from her?

>>18640055
Anon, that's really hot. I mean, as long as you un-gag her for all the kissus she can handle at some point of course.

>>18640072
Only an asshole would cheat on a Unicorn.

>>18640072
Nope, I'd learn to protect myself and I'd become even stronger and a better man for her, I just have to hope tht wouldn't attract more monsters.

>>18640076
>that chin
Yamero.

>>18639705
Nursing handjobs from nurse yeti!

>>18640126
Anon no! That's malpractice!

Good night anons, take care and don't burn down the thread.

Instead, remember that nothing gets a monster girls breeding drive going than a man pampering a werekitten that just layed down in his lap.

Smart Greenworm at law school! She should really take some breaks from time to time and relax, but her grades are impeccable!

>>18640156
Its because she eats healthy when she studies!
Only carrot sticks and fruit slices!

>>18640156
I bet she has a talent for oral dictation.

>>18640175
I don't think so anon, her mouth is all wiggly and weird!

>Monster girl adopts a young orphan boy
>Her motherly, non romantic love for him is so possessive that she decides that the only woman who will ever be good enough for him is one that she's created herself
>Gets herself pregnant with the intent to give birth to a daughter that she can groom into the perfect wife for her son

>>18640187
Well she would have to, because she can't even hold a pen! She could finger type I suppose, but Law school will be tough on this Nerdworm

>>18640198
It's okay, she can take it! She's gonna prove to everybody that you can't underestimate Greenworms!

>>18640188
Cute! The father would probably think she's a bit weird though and might tell the son to do whatever he think it's best.

Automaton who behaves completely normally, but occasionally calls you "baby", "hottie", etc. instead of "master".

>>18640205
Who could say no to this face?
>>18640214
I dig it, and maybe occasionally she could get away with "meatbag" and "fleshstick"

>>18640072
I mean, it's not really cheating with monster girls, so I'd sleep around but I wouldn't cheat.

>you will never create a new universe with your goddess waifu through sex

>>18640249
Thats a lot of hair
I bet she goes through gallons of shampoo

Sleepy daughterus!

>>18640249
Sucks. Having sex with my waifu and getting her pregnant would be great.
I wonder how dragons act the moment they are impregnanted by their loved one.

>>18640267
>tiny daughterus sleeping in hand-beds
muh heart

>>18639322

I like that she likes being on top. I love the idea of Ran being a beast in the sheets.

>>18640267
What races would be born small enough to do this?

>>18640230
Greenworms look low level enough to grind on for exp!

>>18640281
Most that hatch from eggs, I'd imagine.

>>18640286
Greenworms are almost certainly a starting town monster. That just makes them easy to bully.

>>18640267
>no dormouse imouto that clings to you like a magnet whenever she takes a nap

>>18640230
>maybe occasionally she could get away with "meatbag"
Now you made me think of one with HK-47's personality, thanks Anon.

>>18640304
Every day, hundreds of Greenworms are 'bullied' by low level heroes and adventurers!

https://imgur.com/a/uJZuz

>>18640304
>>18640286
You'll regret Greenworm bullying when you run into the Level 99 Papillon.

>>18640322
>https://imgur.com/a/uJZuz

I bet she takes the long way to school in the morning. You know, the path with that extra bumpy road.

>>18640324
Whopping 1 Con.

>>18638757
>watching Blue Planet II
>polyp colonies can link up to become longer than blue whales
Yeah no thanks, Sea Slimes are scary.

>>18640324
>Papillon uses Harden!
>It's Super Effective!
Manipulating a man's boner from afar is quite useful.

>>18640150
This time of year cats begin to lose their winter coat. Be wary of a mat of hair being left behind in your lap when she leaves.

>>18640324
It's all fun and games until she starts sounding you with her proboscis.

How do you like your horns?

>>18640424
Inside a Sea Slime is probably one of the safest places to be in the whole ocean. They have few natural predators.

>>18640150
Well then, this should get all the Echidnas hot and bothered.

>>18640512
>shipwrecked man gains a harem of countless Slimes all acting in unison to provide him with food and shelter in the inhospitable world of the oceans
Oh man.

>>18640509
Those twisty-twirly ones look pretty cool.

>>18640509
I much prefer soft fluffy ears to hard pointy horns anon.

How does your waifu feel about driving cars anon? Does she even have a body type that would fit in a car?

>>18640509
>human male
>165-168 cm
Manlet

Comfy story where a woman goes monster to have children when?

>>18640612
>TFW waifu can't heel-toe
Oh well, everything's automatic here anyway.

>>18640324
Greenworms are dummies
They probably have the memory span of goldfish

>>18640612
Kikimoras love driving their masters around.
Too bad they all drive like Irisviel.

>>18640612
She's big and has wings and a tail so I doubt she could. Chauffeurs would suit her economic position better.
>>18640614
What's that? I can't hear you from all the way up there. Why don't you step down here and say that to my face?

>>18640626
Goldfish have surprisingly good memories. Your memes are at an end, good sir!
>>18640628
HNNGH

Picture soldier beetles and green worms together, chilling and munching on fruit

>>18640612
I don't think she'd drive very much anon, though I would do my best to teach her. She'd probably be far too distracted by things to drive safely, and shed much prefer to ride shotgun while I drive so she can stick her head out the window. She'd always have it on her mind when in the car, even though she'd only actually do it when we take drives very late at night. She'd be far too embarrassed if anyone saw her doing anything so childish!

>>18640612
I feel like a shog would get incredibly jealous of cars, with how attached people get to them. She'd probably try to replicate it but I would think it would be too complicated.

>>18640650
Picture Solider Beetles and Green Worms getting intoxicated by fermented apples and can't stop Order Knights from bullying them.
Order Knights drawingdicks on their faces, putting silly hats on them and giving them ugly haircuts.

>>18640612
I don't have a license so I guess she'd have to drive me places if we don't want to risk MGC transit.
Though what kind of car could a 5' 1" Demon comfortably drive?

>>18640658
KDF your wife has issues.

>>18640628
>crazy Kiki drivers
I like the idea that 99.9% of the time they're their regular selves but in very specific circumstances like driving their slav instincts take over.

>>18640650
>>18640668
That's way too cute.

>>18640650
>>18640690
There must be a place where such harmonious existense is real and I will now go write about it.

>>18640612
She would probably be capable of doing so, but wouldn't like to due to a combination of not being exposed to vehicles most of her life, and them being very loud and fast. I like to think she would hold onto me as I drove to reassure herself.

>>18638757

MUH

MERMAID OP!?!?!

I- I never thought I'd see the day *sniff*

Godspeed op

Would anyone here date a levia san? I like her so much I'd date two levia san, not three though cuz that would be too many

>>18640612
Sillyslimes going to learn to drive whether she likes it or not.

>>18640658
There's nothing to be ashamed of. A dog is a dog after all.

>>18640702
Nice abs on her.

>>18640698
throw a mantis in for good measure if you can

>>18640722
What's a drunk mantis like?

>>18640722
Are they omnivorous?

>>18640728
Jackie Chan from Drunken Master.

>>18640682
I'll admit she has a bit of a complex because she's always worried that if people know about her love of childish things then they'll see her as just another plain immature dog girl and not as a successful chemist, but it's not debilitating or even all that unhealthy most of the time.

>>18640709
See, I'd have to approach it with more of a "there's nothing wrong with liking the things you like honey" angle, but you're close.

>>18640702
>I- I never thought I'd see the day *sniff*
Fuck off you enormous faggot.

>>18640728
Just sits there as order knights play with her face.
Making it look like she's smiling and moving her mouth to make it look like she's saying Order Knights are the coolest and she stinks.

>>18640739
>successful chemist
Wish my wife had marketable skills, but no she's just a feudal overlord, and how is that any different from running a protection racket?

>>18640743

no, fuck you

>>18640754
A feudal overlord sounds much classier and more official anon.

>>18640754
She'd be cut out for middle management.

>>18640767
>>18640770
I just can't see it.

>>18640739
>a successful chemist
So that;s how you'd fund your degenerate fetishes.

>>18640774
You know it anon, custom sex toys/contraptions and made-to-measure latex outfits are anything but cheap. The money would just be an extra perk for my waifu though, she does magical chemistry because she loves it and has a passion for it. Plus, her childhood dream was to be the mad scientist who gives herself superpowers, and like I said, she is all about those childhood things.

I wonder if dark mages refine the stuff that the smoke hobos smoke?

>>18640798
Let's just say that the dense fog that hangs over swamps sometimes ins't just fog.

>>18640787
Your wife has a fun personality. All mine has are emotional scars and abandonment issues from a childhood and youth of being raised by a Valkyrie mercenary captain.
I'm never going to actually write that story and now I feel bad.

>>18640787
What is her power of choice if you don't mind my asking?

>>18640798
>>18640804
Didn't someone mention a while back the idea of a hermit anon kicking Ogres off of his swamp?

>>18640805
You can do it anon, I find that sometimes when I stop thinking about writing altogether for a while then one day motivation will sort of happen out of nowhere. I'm sure your waifu is a lovely girl.

>>18640810
Super speed or something elemental, most likely wind powers. I like to imagine that if she was ever successful in her quest that she'd share her discoveries with me and maybe even our daughteru, having superpowers together would be the ultimate dream.

>>18640837
And then you could wear the latex in public and people wouldn't look at it twice, huh?

>>18640845
Exactly anon!

Damn I don't know if I found a waifu, but I finally got a species nailed down to some type of lamia. I fell asleep and https://youtube.com/watch?v=J5qWnG5RQTk started playing. Next thing I know, I'm in bed next to a beautiful, simply smiling lamia coiled around me. It's the first time I've ever felt something from a dream so firmly. I could feel her tail along my back and her breasts pressing into my chest. Some dream logic later, we're walking down the street and she's bumping her hips and tail tip in time to the music as we hold hands. At one point I even grab her shoulders and lift and turn her and she responds by hugging me close again. At the "see my baby move" part she dances by herself as she sways her hips and does some adorkable think with her arms while her tail coils me up again. By the end we're coiled hugging again and I kiss her cheek and then I wake up. Fuck I've never had a dream that nice before. Sorry for blog I just have to get this down.

>>18640868
I feel you anon, dreams like that are rare and quite special, nothing wrong with making sure you don't forget her.

>>18640868
Lucky you. Last dream I had I was trying to fix a broken printer while my supervisor was breathing down my neck and complaining that I couldn't do even something as simple as that.
Then I woke up and remembered I don't have a job. Haha. Dreams are wonderful things, aren't they?

What this fox lacks in mofu she makes up for with her /k/ collection.

>>18640932
It's trash that picked up a gun.
Wowie

>>18640932
Nice body, too.
Shame about the lack of fluff.

Dolls.

>>18641024
The disadvantages of both undead and automatons with the advantages of neither.

>>18641024
Girls play with dolls, I'd rather have me an action figure of a badass mech that can launch missiles and has posable limbs and that can fall with style and that has a space-motorcycle and laser swords and laser guns and diamond-drills and armour made out of Wurmium.

>>18641050
Monsters in mechs!

>>18641050
This one has a chair that can do most of that.

>>18640868
>tfw having daughteru dreams
>daughter is 4 or 5, looks human except for the antlers on her head
>she's mute and wears a little bell on her wrist so I can find her
>have a wife too, she's human but with super long black hair in a braid
>we all live in a big house full of books from floor to ceiling
>spend hours just sitting on the couch with my wife, reading and watching our daughter play with the dog
>wake up alone and extremely confused

Can someone stop the ride please? I'd like to get off.

>>18641089
Your wife sounds like a kej to me anon.

And instead of getting off, why not refine your dream? Commission stuff of your qt little mute daughter! It'd be a nice change of pace considering the only other people who post daughter content are kdf and mouseguy.

>>18641137
I don't particularly care for Kejourou, I'm more of a wolfu or white horn kind of guy.

I decided a long time ago not to have kids and my reasoning has not changed. I don't like kids, I know from experience that kids in reality are disgusting pains in the ass that aren't worth the trouble. I'm probably just lonely, hence the confusion.

Getting a dog and a big place with room for bookshelves soon though.

>>18641155
I don't know anon, I imagine mge daughters are probably a lot more fun to raise then real children. But if you don't think it's a fantasy that's for you then oh well.

>No vampire that has garlic withdrawal

>>18641159
>mge daughters
Well yeah, kids in fiction are always cute, innocent and considerate. The real thing are disgusting little monsters that exist to destroy everything around them. Not to disparage anyone who wants kids, I just know from being a shitty big brother that I'm not nearly that patient or forgiving and it's best left to the right people.

Had a close call about a year ago, I almost had a kid and had to think real hard about this.

Any dirty thoughts?

>>18641187
I should really sweep my floor.

I've come to realise that mario stomps on creatures heads, Eats mushrooms sets plants on fire, and is strong enough to spin a dragon-turtle by the tail

He is the ultimate monster boogieman, second only to doomguy

>>18641187
Plenty, like chaining up a tsundere silver haired salamander and taking her virginity.

>>18641199
Do you think monsters tell scary stories at sleepovers about Van Hellsing and the Belmont family?

>>18641187
Blackjack with a trumpart
She says hit me and i spank her
She gets bust, no sex for her
If the 21 has her number involved, she gets to do something special during sex

>>18641205
Probably weird masochistic vampires and succubi that want to be whipped.

>>18641210
Shy club trumpart thats a sexual juggernaut in her card dimension when?

>>18641205
They probably do shit like human girls do with Vampires, Werewolves and fishmen/demons.
Except they fawn over Crusaders, Inquisitors and Vampire Slayers with them getting into heated debates on which is hotter.

>You've attracted the attention of a group of Kunoichi.

>>18641266
I'm imagining stupid scenarios for this already.

>weird but cute lamia wife bites her lip and looks more bashful than usual one night
>"umm, honey, you feel like trying something?"
>you say of course, anything for my girl
>she pulls out a super-elaborate Conan the barbarian costume, complete with stupid-looking wig and sword
>"Take the snake's head, Conan! End her foul sorcery!"
>"uhh..." you grumble in your best Arnie impression as you try to figure out how to put on a loincloth
>"Conan, w-what is b-best in life?" she squeals as she tries not to wrap you up like usual
>"To drive back your enemies, and hear the lamentations of their women!" you say in character, glad she gave you an easy line
>"Yes! Yes, honey, make me lemon!"
>"Lament! Graagh!" You manage to snarl, but not loud enough to disturb the neighbours
>you bang normally

>>18641319
only go for jade
Mileena has TEETH and kitana is fucking a bruce lee/that guy from bloodsport ripooff

>You'll never have an Anubis little sister who calls you onii-sama and thinks you can do no wrong

>>18641319
>>18641330
Mileena was my first fearboner.

>>18641383
I'd be lazy around her.

>>18641319
Jokes on them, I'm a huge pervert who has a 1 in four chance of giving them a fetish that isn't conducive towards being a kunoichi

>>18641516
>"Sasuga, onii-sama! Conserving your energy for when you truly need it is brilliant! Let me take care of things for you so that you don't expend needless energy."

>>18641330
At least she has a kissable face in X

>>18641383
I need this in my life.

>>18641562
>years later she realizes what a disappointment you really are
I don't think I could deal with this.

>>18641562
She deserves a headpat.

>>18641578
>As years go on she stops calling me onii-chan and just uses a more formal term, sometimes looking at me with disgust
Would still be lazy while trying to make her chill.

>>18641578
>>18641597
Would she start imposing schedules on you to make you a better person?

>>18641218
Is there an example pic for all the suits of trumparts? Are the face cards particularly different/superior?

>>18641671
Probably. Wouldn't stop me from being lazy though and thank god onii-chan here would know how to dispel any curse she tried to use.

>>18641330
>Mileena has TEETH
Yes, and?

>>18641688
No example pics
and the value of the cards determine strength with jack to ace being busted
its also mentioned that the QOH supercharges them compared to regular wonderland monsters, so even the lower value cards are crowd clearers in terms of power

>>18638757
Aquatic girls are criminally underappreciated. 71% of the Earth's surface is water, so it's almost a certainty that they'll form the bulk of any MG immigration through the portals.

>>18641319
How fat an ass is too fat for kunoichi work?

>>18641820
When it gets stuck in doorways and windows.

>>18641825
Hmmm, sounder perfect to me.
Perfect for using!
Although it could all be a purposeful trap by the kunoichi so she can tempt me with her feminine wiles

>>18641761
There aren't going to be portals, anon. But at least you'll die alone.

>>18641851
>there aren't going to be portals
Not with that attitude there aren't.

>>18641869
I wonder who I'll get since I love so many different Monsters.

>>18642036
Anon, don't be a slut.

>>18642036
Bicorn it is then.

>>18642058
I can't help it.
>>18642067
I do not like that one.

>>18642036
Smoke hobo for you, slut.

>>18642078
Not him but I’d like a smoke smoke hobo.
The only question is what body type.
A NEET one would be interesting

>>18642078
How would a Nurarihyon deal with a man who wasn't affected by her charisma?
As in, she shows up in his home one day and tries to charm him into thinking she's always lived there and he just says something to the effect of "If you're going to bullshit me, at least try and make it sound believable. Now get out."

>>18642151
Rape until sunset, followed by a rotation of Zipangu girls raping the man until dawn.

>>18642106
>The only question is what body type.
A loli smoke hobo with nice thighs with a voice like Shinobu from bakemonogatari.

>>18642201
Would be cute and she’d even fit my house as it’s an old one and small.
Wonder if she’s ready to hunt pickle yet

How will the Fuzz keep those dangerous Yakuzis in check? They've been kidnapping lads and forcing them to be in illegally made porn flicks to be sold on the market!

>>18642229
>spoiler
You know she would be. And smug about it.

>>18642338
Give me two belts and a pair of suspenders. I'm going to MacGyver this fucking holster into something that actually works if it's the last thing I do.

>>18642338
>Walkie-talkie
>Badge
>Eating a donut

I think she's a cop, buddy.

>>18642370
She's got a sash, wouldn't one belt and Mexican carrying work? Might be a good way to get Glock tail once those come about though.

>>18642201
>she does her best to be cool and seductive
>lounges on a chair and slowly crosses her bare legs while talking to you
>gracefully brings the pipe to her lips to inhale
>starts coughing

>>18642398
>>18642370
You can see the other strap. She just needs one more across her chest to secure the holster.

I like monster girls with guns. Got more?

I see a lot of these. Who makes them? They're cute.

>>18642390
>I spoilered Fuzz and everything

Come on anon...

>>18642347
Well, we’d jusy need to wait and see now wouldn’t we?

Greenworm was released on my birthday so I should've written about her already, but I'm lazy and incompetent. So here I am finally doing it. There's also a Mantis for>>18640722 but she doesn't do much yet.

Is this "flufflepuff" spell a good way to disarm a Manticore?

>>18642429
Wow. This time I remember the image but forget the link.
https://pastebin.com/5QsBTatr

>>18642422
Cerberus123 on deviant art

>>18642436
She looks pretty dangerous still.

>>18642424
I've never noticed these two peeking in through the door.

Are MANTIS security systems a good choice for protecting my corporate interests?

>>18642451
Just inject all employees with Nano-Slimes.

>>18642451
Only if you can hold your liquor.

>>18642412
There doesn't seem to be anything securing the sword to her side either. Also, isn't the sword upside down or is my bushido weak?

>>18642469
The sword is in a proper position if you're not going for those weeb draw-slashes.

>>18642480
The iai is not a weeb slash! It is serious business!

>>18642438
You're on fire lately alp, was afraid greenworm wouldn't get any stories given the initial reaction to her but you're doing god's work.

Big Fit vampires

>>18642490
Then you tell me whether I should write more Aquanaut or more switch-spider mahjong.

>>18642507
I did just jerk off an hour ago but if you insist.

>>18642507
I want her to break me.

>>18642507
Could be bigger

>>18642507
Could be /fit/ter

>>18642507
Can she help me out at the gym? I'm new, so they'll have to be lots of close contact to make sure my form is right.

>>18642533
>>18642543
Could be both

>>18642514
what does that have to do with the picture?
>>18642515
Why?
>>18642533
How big?
>>18642543
See above
>>18642547
Of course,if you ask nicely!

>>18642507
I like toned girls, they are very attractive and healthy, ready to bear all the children.

>>18642561
>what does that have to do with the picture?
Well you see Shirou the implication here is that I'm going to masturbate to the sight and idea of such a creature.

>>18642567
Wouldn't that ruin her toned body anon?
>>18642570
You shouldn't do that without marrying her first!

>>18642583
>marrying a vampire
Oh boy it's an eternity of femdom!

>>18638762
For spanking. Lots of them.

>>18642588
Vampires can become doting when you turn into an Incubus. Of course you can tell her to keep dominating you after that.

>>18642588
Eternity of happiness

>>18642588
Eternity of fendom with gentle cuddlefucking afterwards?

>>18642509
I'm fond of Aquanaut really, aquatic girls getting attention is always nice.

>>18642611
How can you say you love her if you won't even be her thrall?
>>18642628
That'll be it then.

If you had to move to a different location depending on your waifu/wife/favorite monstergirl would you do it? For example if she's a mermaid you would have to live on the coast, if she's a vampire you would have to move to a place with little to no sunshine hours every years, and so on.

>>18642674
Yes, I would

>>18642674
In a heartbeat, on condition that I could visit my family for reunions annually.

>>18642674
Lucky for me my waifu is a Holstaur and I live in Texas so I wouldn't have to move.

>>18642674
This is the kind of thing I like to think about with monsters, changing living arrangements to suit their needs and the like. It's the one thing EMG got kind of right with the house needing remodelled.
I'd gladly move to an undead kingdom so my wife wouldn't be an outcast.

>>18642696
You would have to live on the countryside.

>>18642674
Yeah, I would.
Although I don’t see why a P’Orc or Kiki would want to move

>>18642687
>motherfucker

>>18642705
I agree, that's why I liked Okayado's comics.

>>18642674
Definitely the most reasonable change to make for my favorite. It'd have to wait until after I get my PhD, though.
That being said, I don't think I'd have to move much at all for the wife slime. If she preferred somewhere more humid or "traditional" for her tastes, though, then I'd pack up for her.

>>18642717
Ｙｏｕ Ａｒｅ Ｍｏｔｈｅｒｆｕｃｋｅｒ？

>>18642674
Living on a mountain might be nice.

>>18642727
Living in Wonderland must be like living in a Pop Team Epic episode.

>>18642739
>flipping them off only turns them on
>sometimes the voice changes to Sugita's
Mixed reacts

>>18642748
On the other hand sometimes their voice changes to Yuu Kobayashi.

>>18642757
>Cheshire voiced by Yuu Kobayashi
Are you trying to kill me? This is how I die.

>>18642711
I already do.

>>18642761
But what a wonderful way to die it would be.

>>18642757
>balls deep
>voice goes from Kobayashi to Norio Wakamoto
N-no thanks

>>18642765
Death by reach about pawjobs with yuu kobayashi whispering in my ear is up there on my list of best ways to go that's for sure.
Still doesn't beat getting drained to death by a genki non-MGE Succubus voiced by Aoi Yuuki though.

>>18642438
>being forced into sexual acts by a Greenworm
cute story so far

The greenworm we deserve.

>>18642674
Anyone have good mermaid writefaggotry?

>>18639187
The ever hated June

>>18642438
Not my favorite mg but pretty nice.

https://desu-usergeneratedcontent.xyz/tg/image/1521/36/1521361338437.pdf

>>18642877
Nice virus

>>18642897
???

>>18642834
>Anyone have good mermaid writefaggotry?
>good
>writefaggotry
Asking in the wrong place bud.

>>18642834
HCA wrote a pretty good one.

>>18642925

>>18642925
>TFT shill at it again
Do they pay you?

>>18642928
This joke again.

>>18642937
I was just probing if you where the same guy or not.

>>18642925
Who hurt you?

>>18642942
Oh I wasn't the one asking, I'm just upset at shitty jokes like this. If I ever asked for something and I damn well never will and got joked at my jimmies would get really rustled.

>>18642834
I'm going to write about Mersharks soon.

>>18642962
To be fair, we linked him to a whole library of Mermaid stories last time he asked, but after jokes of course.

>>18642965
Well that's jolly good then.

>>18642965
>we linked him to a whole library of Mermaid stories last time he asked
Where?

>This kills the meido.

>>18642925
Do tell, what place holds the wonders we seek?

Poking Mad Hatter’s butt!
Poking Mad Hatter’s bust!

>>18642985
http://touchfluffytail.org/?tag=mermaid

>>18643000
>”How uncouth. At least use your phallicus, intruderous dubious, most elubious!”

>>18643000
Jolly good indeed

>>18643000
>every time you poke they get bigger
My Dear Hatter’s greatest brew yet!
However- get your own! Brew and wife, please and thank you!

>>18643004
>TFT

>>18643016
Your waifu is /d/, Hatterfag

>>18643019
Where else are all the stories? Tell me and we won't need TFT anymore

>>18642925
>>18643004
Hm...

>>18643020
Oh dear Anon, it’s not /d/- it’s Wonderland~!
Please, don’t cause a fuss, I largely keep that level of fun to ourselves.

>>18643004
Not even trying to be subtle, I see.

>>18643022
It's in the fucking OP.

>>18643020
All of our waifus are /d/ fool.

>>18643016
Any monster girl that can do that needs to stay away from me.
The temptation would be too much

From momster

>>18643031
>>18643023
>>18643019
Great input, real productive.
Now how do I search for Mermaid stories on Anubis.moe?

>>18642843
Why are you still around?

>>18643051
To wife

>>18643029
>it’s not /d/- it’s Wonderland~!
>implying there's a difference

>>18643046
Come come Anon, give your favorite girl a sip!
Poke and poke, grow your waifu’s tits!

>>18643029
>Oh dear Anon, it’s not /d/- it’s Wonderland~!
You mean Wonderlan/d/?

>>18643057
They even have matching earrings.

>>18643066
I’m not just going to poke her tits though!
There’s too much to poke!

https://tomjhyde.deviantart.com/art/Last-Voyage-of-the-Atargatis-135601869

Huh. Has it been 3 days already?

What would you have to do to a Ryu to make it hail?