/jp/ - Otaku Culture

anon

Beato?

ANON

Is it normal that I have both Maria and Erika as my favourite Umineko characters?
Seeing as they're polar opposites of each other and would never ever get along.

I wanted to post this in the other thread but then it died, so I made a new one. Anyway, it's been a while but I think it's time for another little game.


MYSTERY TIME

Krauss heads up to Kinzo's study to try and convince him to come down and join the family for dinner. He knocks on the door but all he can hear is Kinzo screaming.
"Get away from me! No!!"
Krauss bangs on the door, tries to force it open, but to no avail. Eventually he hears a loud slash and a dropping noise. Krauss calls the servants together. Genji, Kumasawa, Gohda and Nanjo soon arrive. Genji opens the door with his key and they all find Kinzo lying dead on the floor, impaled by a large samurai sword. The sword came from a life-size samurai armour Kinzo had installed as a decorative item recently.
Battler soon arrives and looks around. Kinzo was stabbed with full force in the back it seems, and Nanjo confirms this. Battler also notices several signs of a struggle, with papers and books scattered around, sword and scratch marks all over the table and the bookcase behind it. The door, however, was locked at the time Krauss heard the commotion. The window was open, but in this universe, there could be no way someone could jump/climb down unscathed, and no signs of bruising, dirty marks or anything could be found on any of the suspects.
Battler questions some of the people on the island. Genji had seen Kinzo that morning when he had delivered some letters that had arrived for Kinzo. Kumasawa and Gohda had delivered breakfast just afterwards, and Nanjo played a game of chess which was rudely stopped by Kinzo who said he had some paperwork to do. Other than that, nobody else seemed to have entered Kinzo's study.

So how did the killer get in? How did the killer escape?

>>17016286

BEATO

>>17016300
/BLUE/ The killer was inside the armor when it was installed in the studio, it also hid inside it again after killing Kinzo and is still inside the study at the moment Krauss and the servants enter the room.

>>17016392
Perfect answer and I love it. Unfortunately, it's wrong.
/RED/ The killer never wore the armour.

>>17016300
Shit, I won't have time for this one, I need to leave soon
Anyway, let's get those out of the way.

/BLUE/ Kinzo committed sudoku
/BLUE/ Someone climbed the window and got out with the help of a ladder
/BLUE/ Someone threw the samurai sword from outside the room and it impaled Kinzo

>>17016434
You never know, sometimes these mysteries last for a day or two.

/RED/ Kinzo did not commit suicide
/RED/ No ladders were involved in this murder.
/RED/ The sword was inside the room for weeks and did not leave the room and was still there the moment they discovered Kinzo's corpse.

Has anyone here managed to try out the PS3 to PC patches yet?

https://umineko-project.org/en/

>tfw no doujin of this

>>17016592
>Ten years
>Promise

He would probably forget

>>17016648
kek

>>17016648

>>17016300
Shit I'm terrible at these but I love 'em. I just listen to Umineko OSTs and lurk as though I'm watching a logic fight
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dORf0tLaSn8

>>17016300
/BLUE/ Battler is the culprit, Kinzo let Battler inside the study because one of the letters that had arrived was sent by Battler asking for a private conversation about who's Beato's true love, Battler got upset during the discussion and killed Kinzo in a mad rage, he was hiding inside the room by the time Krauss and the others got inside and pretended to have just arrived at the scene afterwards.

>>17016648
Not funny.

>>17017057
Again, some sound reasoning, but not true, because of one simple fact.

/RED/ Battler is the detective

You did pick up on the letters though. The letters play an integral part in the culprit's plot.

/RED/ If the letters had not arrived for Kinzo, he would not have died.

>>17016300
/Blue/Kinzo was drunk when he read the letter, the letter scared him which caused his shout,dropped his drink and slipped on it, impaling himself on the sword that had it's angle lowered by Nanjo when Kinzo was busy thinking his next move
/Gold/The letter was written on a piece of newspaper that was wrapped around a piece of mackerel, which attracted a seagull that scared the drunk Kinzo and caused him to slip into the sword, making Kumasawa the mastermind behind the murder

>>17017279
I love the reasoning here, especially the mackerel bit. Funnily enough, you're inching closer to the truth.

/RED/ Kinzo did something with one of the letters that any ordinary human would do, but it caused his demise in the end.
/RED/ The sword was on the other side of the room at the time.

I feel like Krauss is suspicious, but it's probably a red herring.
He was the only one to hear the fight in the study. The first thing he did after that was call the servants over to get the door unlocked; By the time our brave and intelligent detective arrived, the closed room was already destroyed.

I don't have a theory yet, so I'll just try these obvious ones.
/BLUE/ Kinzo was dead before Krauss arrived. The struggle in his room took place long before the corpse was discovered.
/BLUE/ The envelopes for the letters were poisoned. He was licking one of them to seal it up, causing the poison to kill him.
/BLUE/ Kinzo was killed after the door was unlocked, but before Battler arrived.

Something confuses me about the EP7 tea party. How can it be the "truth" when there's infinite possibilities in the cat box?

>>17018556
It's what actually took place on Rokkenjima Prime, leading to Ange's world.

>>17017880
Hmm, I generally don't use the unreliable narrator in the opening post of my mysteries, but I understand your suspicion of Krauss. In fact, he's just there to seal the room in this scenario. He's there hearing it, and also standing right in front of the door, so he would have seen the murderer escape if he used the door. Think of Krauss as nothing but a plot device in this scenario.

Anyway:
/RED/ Krauss heard Kinzo die, as he stood by the door.
/RED/ No envelopes were poisoned, nor was there a deadly poison involved. Think about this.
/RED/ Kinzo was not killed after the door was unlocked but before Battler arrived. However, someone hid some small evidence before Battler arrived.

>>17016300
/Blue/ Kinzo wasn't killed by the sword, but by something inside the letters. He was stabbed after he was dead.

>>17019531
/RED/ The cause of Kinzo's death was the sword impaling him through his back.

>>17016434
>/BLUE/ Kinzo committed sudoku
That's some serious 999 shit over here

>>17019085
The evidence is clearly either the key to the study, or an object was related to the letters.
/BLUE/ The killer was hanging out of the window. When the room was clear, they climbed back in.

>>17020013
You're thinking along the right lines what with the letters. I might steer things in the right direction a bit.

/RED/ Kinzo was never meant to die.

anyone have the comic of Ange filling out the form and putting "not yet" under sex

>>17020388
Not the same person but that /RED/ doesn't deny his blue in anyway.

Gouda

>>17021578
Then allow me to say it in RED.

/RED/ Nobody was hanging out of the window at any point during this scenario.

>>17021824
/BLUE/ Kinzo died in an accident in trying to use the samurai sword as a boxcutter. Accident =/= suicide

>>17021881
Interesting. But then who was he screaming at to get away from him? What evidence was taken from the scene afterwards? And how did Kinzo accidentally stab himself with full force in his own back? A samurai sword is quite long you know.

/RED/ It's impossible to stab yourself in the back wielding a samurai sword.

>>17016300
I feel like I should say that the characters mentioned in this post aren't the only ones on the island. As it says, Krauss came to ask Kinzo to join the family for dinner. Which means the Ushiromiya's are all present. A better look at the state of the room once they opened the door is crucial as well.

>>17021949
/Blue/

While opening his letters, something occured which caused a wild animal such as a bird to assail Kinzo in his study. While fighting with the animal, he made the cry which Krauss heard outside the door. The 'sword marks' were caused by Kinzo's letter opener, or some other implement which had been hidden by Krauss or the servants. While struggling with dealing with the animal, Kinzo fell backwards onto the samurai sword with the suit of armor, then fell forward with it piercing him, making it look like somebody had attacked him.

>>17022054
Again, that's a very good theory using a lot of the clues and Reds provided, but I'm afraid it's wrong.

/RED/ Kinzo's shouting was not aimed at an animal, or Krauss.
/RED/ Kinzo wielded the sword himself.

>>17022138
Might as well cover this possibility.

What's the definition of "poisoned" for the letters
specifically? Does it cover substances which do not cause direct bodily harm, but influence the mind?

>>17022163
Now we're talking.

/RED/ Poisoning here refers to taking in a substance that causes death. Kinzo was not poisoned. Of course, this does not mean some other kind of subtance might have entered his bloodstream.

Now what did happen to Kinzo? How did he take the substance and how did the culprit get it in the room? Don't forget that Kinzo was never meant to die. I'll also reveal that

/RED/ There is no killer, but there are two accomplices.

Although, as always, the identity is never that important in my mysteries. I have an idea who they are, but it's mainly about what happened, rather than who did it.

>>17022163
Now we're talking.

/RED/ Poisoning here refers to taking in a substance that causes death. Kinzo was not poisoned. Of course, some other kind of substance might have entered his bloodstream that was not fatal.

Now what did happen to Kinzo? How did he take the substance and how did the culprit get it in the room? Don't forget that Kinzo was never meant to die. I'll also reveal that

/RED/ There is no killer, but there are two accomplices.

Although, as always, the identity is never that important in my mysteries. I have an idea who they are, but it's mainly about what happened, rather than who did it.

>>17022202
/BLUE/

One of the accomplices hid in Kinzo's room beforehand, while the other drugged one of the letters with an inhalation or contact based drug which would cause Kinzo to hallucinate violently. Once Kinzo opened the designated letter, he slowly began seeing paranoid illusions and feared for his life, eventually making the cry which was heard by Krauss. During this time, he took the sword from the armor to defend himself from his 'assailant', and then died from a heart attack or some other indirect means of death which does not leave evidence, induced by both his physical condition and the drug. The accomplice in the room then went out of hiding and pierced his body with the sword to set up the scene, and hid the drugged letter before either sneaking out while Krauss went to get the servants or hiding in the room once more.

>>17022254
You're very close, but the one thing nobody seemed to pick up on is that I never once mentioned the word "murder". I did say:
/RED/ Kinzo was never meant to die.

But since you're so close, yes
/RED/ While sending a letter, Kinzo took a drug which caused him to hallucinate violently and made him see something as an assailant. This is also when Krauss heard him cry out.

Now what in that study could a hallucinating Kinzo see as a threat? And what would Kinzo, manliest of men, do in that situation?

And finally:
/RED/ Nobody was in the room at the time of Kinzo's death. The only people who entered the room were Genji who delivered some letters, Kumasawa and Gohda who delivered breakfast, and Nanjo was came to play some chess. One of these is an accomplice. This accomplice also hid some small evidence later on when everyone was in the room. The other is never mentioned by name, yet.

>>17022322
/BLUE/

After being drugged from one of the letters, Kinzo hallucinated the set of western armor in the room to be an assailant, and began attempting to fight it using the katana at hand. After a while of struggling and trashing the scene, Kinzo eventually was convinced he had dispatched his foe, and settled the sword down in a precarious position, after which he fell upon it and died. This happened after Krauss heard his cry but before the door was opened. The scene was then inspected by the discoverers, and the evidence was removed by one of the accomplices.

As for the motive, since I may as well try and come up with one...

One of the accomplices is Eva, the other is Kumasawa or Gohda, who would be easily intimidated. The goal of this incident was not to kill Kinzo, but to cause him to perform what seemed like a fit of madness and declining health so severe that it would be undeniable to say he was no longer suitable for headship. In doing so, Krauss would be forced to take over the family and reveal his embezzlement of the family's funds, playing into the hands of Eva and the siblings' plans.

>>17022437
I like your motive more than mine, and some pieces are missing but basically, you've solved it.

<CONGRATULATIONS>

I'll divulge what happened exactly.
As I've said before, motive doesn't really interest me much, but I'd planned for the entire thing to be a practical joke. It all came from the line Jessica dropped once that Kinzo would beat her with a stick. She schemed together with Nanjo to play a prank on Kinzo. Nanjo notoriously is easy as shit to make an accomplice. He also has access to drugs, because I like to think of Nanjo as having a lot more to him than sees the eye. Jessica convinced Nanjo to sneak some acid into Kinzo's office. As most of you might know, the hallucinogenic drug acid can come in the form of a stamp. During the chess match, Nanjo switched Kinzo's stamps with identical looking ones, laced with acid. When Kinzo ended the chess match and did his paperwork, he wanted to send a letter. He licked the acid-laced stamp and put it on the letter. Shortly after that he started hallucinating. The samurai armour looked to Kinzo like an assailant. Kinzo went insane and grabbed the samurai sword in order to fend it off. In his mind, the enemy was everywhere, so he hacked and slashed the sword everywhere, eventually striking it right in the middle of his desk, the point sticking upwards. He couldn't get it out, and the samurai was inching closer and closer, so Kinzo ran up to the bookcase behind his desk and climbed it, trying to get away, explaining the scratch marks he made with his nails as he frantically tried to climb it to the top to get away. Eventually though, he lost his footing and fell backwards, piercing himself with the samurai sword still stuck upright in the desk. He pierced his back with full force and fell backwards, dead.

Once everyone got into the room, Nanjo confirmed Kinzo's death and shat himself. This was never meant to happen. He quickly disposed of the acid-laced stamps in his pocket to avoid suspicion.

It was all a practical joke gone awfully wrong.


But like I said, your motive makes more sense in the continuity of the story of Umineko. You should try your hand at one of these mysteries some time. I usually focus on the mystery, leaving the motive and culprits aside as they're not that interesting to me. I know Nanjo probably wouldn't drug Kinzo, but to me the characters are just pieces.

Does anyone have that image post a few threads ago about Battler writing down Beatrice's name in ep 4 and saying that he loves her?
I can't seem to find it in the archives.

>>17016648
>Maria tried to kill everyone to make Battler remember to touch her breasts.
Although
>implying Battler wouldn't forget a perverted promise.

>>17022643

Shannon is by far best girl.

How can the other girls even compete?

>>17022772

>>17022795
Shannon isn't a trap though, she's a girl.

>>17022800
Shannon isn't just a trap, she's a tripwire rigged to a nuke.

>muh Yasu
>muh Shkanontrice
Reminder that Rosatrice is the true answer.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=acLhqUzUgxc
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ThosMzcaNdM
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Pp9BxudLgTg
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PDtgRszW5zQ

>>17022898
When the end is so bad that people make 10h of youtube videos just to escape into their own imaginary world.

>>17022648

>>17022772
Beato's better.

I made a mystery since I was bored, hopefully you'll find it enjoyable.

It was Kinzo's birthday and he wanted to celebrate it on his own locked away in his study.
He ordered the servants to make a lavish feast for himself including all of his favorite food and everything a proper birthday feast requires, he even ordered candles put on his cake. But what are birthdays without presents he thought , so he bought himself a pet tiger for the special occasion .
He send away the servants so they can't interfere with his festivities. Unfortunately however when Genji went to check on him he beheld the following scene in the study. There was blood everywhere, Kinzo was dead with his throat showcasing a gruesome wound, the tiger was dead as well [with no visible wounds other than some scratches on its head].
No one entered or left the study in the time span between the servants leaving and Genji returning.

>>17022868
But Shannon's a girl though

>>17023068
Beato is worst and ugliest girl

>>17023384

>>17023384
How did you even manage to finish the series with such taste?

>>17023384

Arresthim.jpg

>>17023194
/BLUE/ The tiger, possibly hungry and desiring some of Kinzo's food, mauled Kinzo but before he died he found something to strike the tiger with, causing blunt trauma which eventually caused the tiger to die, leaving a few scratches as a visible wound on the tiger's body.

>>17023384
ur dead kiddo

>>17024243
/RED/ The tiger did not harm Kinzo in any way.
/RED/ The tiger was struck on the head causing blunt trauma which eventually caused the tiger to die, leaving a few scratches as a visible wound on the tiger's body.

>>17024456
That's not how that meme works.

>>17024585
Sorry I'm not from the golden /jp/ times.

>>17023194
/BLUE The candles on the cake were actually fuses connected to small bombs! They exploded just as Kinzo was about to blow them out, leaving him with a serious wound in his throat. The tiger got the brunt of the explosion, perhaps some cutlery blew away from the explosion and hit the tiger, causing the wounds.

>>17025136
/RED/ There were no bombs in Kinzo's study.

>>17025293
Hmmm, so if the tiger didn't harm Kinzo...let's get some out of the way.

/BLUE/ Kinzo isn't actually dead, the wounds are faked!
/BLUE/ Kinzo inflicted the wounds upon himself! Either accidentally or on purpose!

>>17025382
/RED/ Kinzo is dead.
/RED/ Kinzo did not commit suicide.
/RED/ Kinzo's death wasn't an accident.

>>17026077
/BLUE/ Kinzo was murdered.
/BLUE/ A human being caused the death of Kinzo.

Just getting some thoughts out before I form a theory.

>>17026088
/RED/ Kinzo was murdered.
/RED/ A human being caused the death of Kinzo.

>>17026213
/BLUE/ A human being caused the death of Kinzo directly, by which I mean, the killer was in the room when they killed Kinzo.
/BLUE/ Something in the food caused Kinzo to die.

>>17026647
/RED/ The killer was in the room when they killed Kinzo, they stabbed and sliced Kinzo's throat - which is the cause of death.

>>17027508
Well, assuming your original post is to be taken at face value, Genji must be the killer. If nobody entered the room after Kinzo sent everybody out, then Genji killed Kinzo when he let himself in. Genji then alerted the family. He probably tried to blame it on the tiger.

>>17027629
Not a bad guess but that's incorrect.
/RED/ Genji is not the killer.
Also have a bonus red:
/RED/ Gohda did not bring the food to Kinzo and he was nowhere to be found by the other servants when they returned after they were send off by Kinzo.
Don't give up, anons.

>>17027778
Heh, thought you were smart did you? Well I've unveiled your mystery, witch!
/BLUE/ GOHDA WAS WEARING A TIGER SUIT THE WHOLE TIME!

>>17027778
/BLUE/ Someone who's not a servant was in the room with Kinzo before the servants left, he killed the tiger, sliced Kinzo's throat and hid in the room.

/BLUE/ The one who was attending Kinzo's party in his study was Nanjo

>>17027851
/RED/ That was in fact Gohda's original plan, however it fell through when Kinzo took the tiger suit to use so he can play with the tiger before his birthday party. Kinzo then discarded the suit right before his food arrived.

>>17027918
/RED/ Kinzo did not invite anyone to his birthday party - none of his friends or family were present in his study. Only servants and Kinzo himself set foot in the study that day [and the tiger of course].

>>17027973
So what, Gohda was in the suit, Kinzo discovered it and threw the suit away before dinner arrived?
Then how come there's a bludgeoned tiger in the room?
Did he throw Gohda out of the window, but Gohda climbed back up and killed Kinzo, then escaped via the window?

>>17028042
Oh anon....
It's a joke, the suit has nothing to do with the murder.

>>17028127
Don't joke with the Red, mate.

>>17030440
Beatoreeche can laugh in red, though.

>>17028127
>messing with the red truth
/BLUE/ The cake had a secret compartment where Gohda hid. He killed Kinzo and the tiger before going back into the cake.

>>17028127
/BLUE/ One of the servants other than Genji, such as Gohda, hid inside the study when Kinzo sent them off, then knocked the tiger on the head before doing the deed themselves. They then set up the scene of the crime and hid inside the study once more when Genji returned.

>>17030496
The laughter was an absolute truth of Battler's incompetence. The universe itself was laughing at Battler.

>>17030440
Although it has nothing to do with the answer, it's a valid red so I don't see any problems.

>>17030707
Good job, anon.
/RED/ The cake had a secret compartment where Gohda hid. However the cake was destroyed when Gohda burst out of it [ the part that formed the secret compartment would be made from something more solid , so it would remain relatively intact, but it would not be an effective hiding place].
/RED/ Gohda did not hide after committing the murder.

>>17030968
>>17031251
Did you skip over mine?

>>17031541
Well yea, it's mostly countered by the red from here :
>>17031251
Although I guess I should add this too:
/RED/ Kinzo was attacked before the tiger.

>>17031650
/BLUE/ Gohda hid inside the cake as it was brought in, then burst forth and attacked Kinzo, killing him, then knocked out the tiger. He then hid Kinzo or the tiger, then disguised himself as one of them after setting up the crime scene, most likely the tiger.

>>17031820
"most likely the tiger"
I love you, anon.
Anyway, it's a solid idea but sadly not the answer.
/RED/ Gohda did not disguise himself as any person or animal.

>>17031862
/BLUE/ Genji just didn't see or didn't care that Gohda was in the room.
/BLUE/ Genji is an accomplice

>>17031997
/RED/ When Genji discovered the murder scene, he wasn't aware where Gohda was.
/RED/ Genji isn't an accomplice.

>>17031820
This is a very hannibal lecter-esque theory, lol. Or at least that's how I imagined it in my head.

>>17032086
/BLUE/ Gohda feigned ignorance, while simultaneously trying to kill Genji and succeeding in doing so.

>>17032086
/BLUE/ After killing Kinzo, Gohda attacked the tiger. Unfortunately, before the tiger died, it managed to eat Gohda.

>>17033350
Whoa, thats some next level [lateral thinking]

>>17033350
Well done, anon! You guessed right!
/RED/ After killing Kinzo, Gohda was eaten by the tiger. The chef became the feast.

Has anyone thought about how much suffering Rena has to go through at the end of watanagashi-hen.
She has to go to school everyday for the next 2-3 years, constantly seeing the empty desks and chairs of her once best friends as well as all the toys they used for their club activities. Even once she leaves school she would be so distraught that she couldn't fix her life in the future, on top of that her friendships were the only thing really keeping her depression in check.
Even her fate in Tsumihoroboshi-hen isn't this bad, at-least she doesn't live in Hinamizawa is constantly bombarded with memories of her friends.

>>17034361
I bet she became a stripper to forget the pain.

>>17034361
Man, realizing that everything continues on whenever Rika jumps between fragments makes this story a lot more depressing. Even if there's a fragment or two where Rika gets her happy ending, there's hundreds or thousands of other fragments where everyone else has to endure all of what happened for the rest of their lives.

When you think of it like that, Rika's almost better off than some of her friends in some of the other worlds since she at least got a happy end with her friends. That is if she didn't end up getting PTSD from the whole ordeal, which we'll never really know.

>>17034485
She probably freaked out and killed her dad's girlfriend then killed herself.

Did some guy named Akihito fuck Ryukishi's mom or something?

I had some strange thoughts thinking about a few different stories that might be different kind of genre after watching a standard detective story unfold and then jumping into show about magical vigilantes.

So if Umineko is about the detective saying "it's logical" and the culprit saying "no, it's magic, you can't do this", I ended up thinking of a story about the opposite.
Imagine a story where the culprit is actually using magic to perform the crime, and the detective is not aware of this. I was thinking of what weapons does the detective have at his disposal to try and catch and convict the culprit.
The detective is relying heavily on profiling the criminal. Even if the criminal is singled out, there's only circumstantial evidence pointing at them, which isn't really satisfactory in a story.
The detective could speculate on the magic, but he could never really confirm it with regular methods.
There's a distinction where the magic leaves a trace, and one that's traceless. A magic that leaves a trace isn't that different from a contraption, though. (Something like Death Note, with the existence of the notebook itself, it's just a versatile killing device, one that's well documented)
I have a bunch of idle thoughts, but maybe /jp/ would like to respond.

>>17035451
Wouldn't that defy Knox's second, especially if the existance of magic is never implied. Plus, I'd imagine Knox's commandment was written as a reaction to this trope rather than a pre-emptive measure.

I want to blow Satoko's mind. How do you blow the actual, literal loli-kid-mind of a loli?

>>17035687
With a shotgun.

>>17035565
Part of why Knox wrote his Decalogue is in reaction to some detective stories that were popular at the time but had, in his mind, ridiculous answers.
The rule about the Chinaman and poisons spring to mind. Lots of Sherlock Holmes stories involved an unspecified foreigner using an unknown poison. The rule about the culprit having to be mentioned or allured to in the beginning of the story also makes me think of Edgar Allan Poe's short story Murders in the Rue Morgue where the culprit was an monkey who escaped from the local circus, climbed down the chimney and killed two women, then climbed back up again. With no circus being mentioned in the story at all and the only evidence being "some hair found close to the chimney".

More and more detective stories were using silly plot devices like that so Knox made his rules to try and steer detective fiction into more believable grounds, and I for one agree with his mindset.

>>17033559
A tiger can't eat a human whole in such a short timeframe
I'm calling BS.

>>17036181
Not without leaving a clear mess behind anyway. Not really happy with this answer to be honest.

>>17036181
Where exactly is this short time frame you speak of ? It's never mentioned exactly how much time passed between the servants leaving and Genji returning - why did you decide it was a short time frame.
Or do you mean the time frame before the tiger dies? That type of injure can take a whole day before it kills you. So I don't see a problem there either.

>>17036240
That's a decent point. In the original post it's mentioned that the room was a mess: "There was blood everywhere", but I presume you mean torn cloths and bones, not just blood.
- A tiger definitely wouldn't eat a person along with the clothes, however it's not impossible that Gohda was simply not wearing any clothes to begin with [oh gohda, kek ].
- How realistic is it to think that a tiger would devour all the bones? First of a tiger's jaw has enough power to break bones apart, the tiger also has a reason to do it - eating the bone marrow. But usually there's no reason for them to eat every single piece of bone. However is it impossible for a tiger to do it - maybe the tiger is extremely hungry, or maybe the blow to the head resulted in some abnormal actions. Well one way or another I'd agree this specific point isn't as solid as it could be.
If you lean towards the 'it's impossible ' side, that would mean the mystery simply doesn't follow Knox [because of the 8th].

>>17037026
I mean, I like the whole "the cook becomes the feast" twist, don't get me wrong. But on the whole, it doesn't really work. Using the tiger to hide the culprit is smart, but there should've been more clues present.

That said, I think my favorite mystery on here is the one with the axe with the gun concealed within to shoot Kinzo while hacking through his door. So over-the-top solutions don't bother me that much.

This is Maria Ushiromiya. Please be nice to her.

>>17037217
Is there literally anyone who likes Maria as a character? I don't mean as a loli or as a witch or whatever, just her character. I can't stand her.

>>17037263
Maria is honestly my most beloved character in any media. She's flawed and I know it sounds pretentious to describe her as such but she's complex. And for good or bad I also happen see a lot of myself in her when I was a child.

>>17037217
Literal autist.

>>17037026
>How realistic is it to think that a tiger would devour all the bones?
It's actually very unrealistic. Tigers usually weight around 200 kg and a big guy like Gohda probably weights around 70-80 kg. That means the tiger would have to eat almost half of it's own body weight to consume him completely. There's no way it could do that in less than a day

>>17036181
>>17036240
>>17037026
>>17037462
It was kind of nice, but I'm just gonna wait for Mystery-kun's next work. They can get silly, but this whole tiger business just doesn't work for me. Mystery-kun has improbaly solutions but at least they work

>>17037462
You have a point, I guess I should've had more tigers, lol.

Anyone know what this is?

A stage play or something?

>>17038355
It's an announcement that Rose Guns Days Season 2 stage play will happen in December. Season 1 had a stage play last year

>>17023068

Does that site that listed Umineko theories and when the fanbase first came up with them still exist? It had things like "Kinzo is dead - EP1", "Shannon is the culprit - EP2", "Shannon is Beatrice - EP3" and so on.

>>17037217
The fact that Maria is mentally impaired is just mindblowing. Lewd! Humiliating!

>>17035687
>>17041811
Janitor must be busy

>>17037217
I bet Maria would love one of those fidget spinners because she's a pathetic sperg.

Is there any official soundtrack release of these Higurashi tracks? Or do I have to just rip them off the VN bgm files?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JR0SvgLy_D8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DY0bXdIVNpE

>>17042623

Nvm I found out that you can download the tracks from the guy's webpage.
Link for anyone interested.

http://www.rengoku-teien.com/index.html

All logic thrown aside, if Ryukishi just announced Yasu was a ruse and the true culprit/mastermind was still undiscovered, who would you like the be the true culprit?

I've always liked the idea of Murderous Gohda Chef.

>>17043095
Kumasawa. Nobody ever remembers Kumasawa.

>>17043152
Agreed. They should definitely make an Umineko version of the Clue board game.
>It was Kumasawa!
>With a mackerel!
>In the garden shed!

Hours of fun

So a friend of mine is reading through ep7 right now and he says the whole ShKanontrice reveal was stupid and retarded and I've basically gotten into an argument with him about it, this seems to be a rather common occurrence, is it the lack of love?

>>17043503
I've never liked the explanation in all honesty., hense
>>17043095

>>17043503
show him the extreme foreshadowing once he's finished, maybe that'll change his mind.

>>17043503
Yeah. The guy simply doesn't understand Yasu at all or atleast doesn't relate so of course it sounds stupid.
What did he expect? I bet he would not be satisfied with any explanation whatsoever.
Just tell him to fuck off and stop dissing Yasutrice. Great deal of love was poured into it.

>>17043546
>>17043548

I guess he just never really cared much for the story in general I was reading it for the second time with him and he just read through big reveals with no reaction at all. He acted as if everything except for the big climax of each episodes were boring and I doubt he would be reading further than the 2nd episode if it wasn't for me always encouraging him to continue.
It's funny because he hated Erika and acts similar to her.
I loved Erika as a character but still when ShKanontrice was revealed I remember thinking how it made so much sense it made all along.
I guess he can't enjoy it because he doesn't love the characters, the story and mystery novels as much as I do.

Also he never really paid attention to most of what was going on and he definitely didn't think about it. Basically Featherine wouldn't enjoy having him as her Miko.

Why do people think Bernkastel is not the same character as the one from Higurashi? A lot of people seem to think that she's just a separate character based on Frederica and Ikuko's cat.

Didn't EP8 make it clear that Featherine is a real witch that likes to turn her favorite protagonists into powerful cat servants?

Ikuko's cat is simply the form Bern adopts in the real world when Featherine writes herself into reality as a rich author with a conveniently mysterious backstory.

That doesn't mean Higurashi is just a book. It happened in the real world. It's just that Featherine lives in an even higher plane of existence.

I wouldn't be surprised if "Nomura" turned out to be Featherine's avatar in that world. They look very similar. She was the one that set the whole conspiracy into motion after all.

>>17045401
Hanyuu is Featherine's avatar.
Look at hanyuu kanji,
羽 = Feather
入 = In
Hanyuu also has two horns and Rika is her Niko, just like how Bernkastel is Featherine's miko.
There are countless other indicators in the games, I'm surprised you haven't noticed it.

>>17043623
introduce him to the Rostrice theory

>>17045486
The kanji for vagina 膣 is composed of the "flesh", "hole" and "climax" radicals. Lewd!

>Mion will never meet Jessica
>Maria will never be humiliated by BullySatoko
Why live?

What are some words that you heard for the first time in WTC? Mine is "embezzlement". It's such a cool word.

Also, why does everyone in Higurashi have "wry smiles"? And why does everyone in Umineko die "like a puppet with its strings cut"?

Honestly, I'm surprised that the "wry smile/smiled wryly" thing didn't become a meme. Mangagamer used that term so often it became hilarious.

>>17045844
>Mangagamer
That's probably why, most people here have only read the original

>>17045844
>“And the writing was just so ... This one line I remember: ‘He grinned wryly.’ Grinned wryly? Who grins wryly? Nobody grins wryly, at all, except in stories. It wasn’t real at all. It was like a story about a story. I put it on Mavis’s desk with the ones about the proctologist and the snowblower.”

>>17045844
Just lazy writing/translating.
I think in the Harry Potter novels "said Hermione tentatively" is used about 300 times.

>>17043503
Shkanon is retarded, though. It makes zero sense in practice, rehashes the Shmion trick from Higurashi, makes Yasu's love issues seem ridiculous, and basically makes Yasu do things that make no sense from a piece perspective just to let Beatrice make difficult red texts. It would have been much better to remove the character Kanon from the story entirely and just make the trick that Shannon's real name is Sayo instead, which basically is how several murders are solved anyways.

>>17045844
>Medulla oblongata
Just say brain stem like a normal person instead of oblong Medusa, for fuck's sake.

>>17047440
But the excessive description is what makes Ryukishi's action scenes great, like going full gun caliber and model autism in each gunfight and the quick weather recaps before the climaxes of RGD

When there's no family conference, it's just Kinzo, Krauss, Natushi, Jessica, Genji, Gohda, Kumasawa and a random orphanage maid in there.

Who do you think masturbates the most?

>>17048197
Kinzo. Why else would he lock himself in his study for hours?

>>17048197
>>17048240
Well, that's the obvious answer.

Krauss has no need for masturbation, he has video tapes of his nightly rapings of Eva that he watches as he plows Natsuhi.
Natsuhi doesn't touch herself, it's unseemly to her.
Jessica uses those brass knuckles deep in the night, I bet.
Genji strips naked in front of a large mirror and masturbates, never breaking eye-contact with his mirror version.
Gohda just cums in the food and relishes in explaining all the details of his cooking, knowing everyone's slurping up Magical Gohda Sperm.
Kumasawa, mackerel, make your own joke.

>>17046992
I think you mean "stretched his legs" Harold.

>>17050066
Oh yeah, that's in there about twice a chapter.
Dumbledore only says things calmly, Harry has half his lines "through gritted teeth", and yes, Hermione is only capable of saying things tentatively. If you re-read it and focus on it, it's kinda annoying.

>>17047408
It worked well for higurashi and umineko but if R07 rehashes it again, I will be disappointed.

Is the redaction of the golden witch finished product? If so where may I find the download?

Feels like this thread needs some

MYSTERY TIME

Kinzo, who's always locked in his study, always has a yearly tour of Rokkenjima to see how things are running. Today he was accompanied by Genji, Nanjo, Kumasawa, Krauss and Natsuhi. They toured the mansion, the rose garden and tool shed, the guest house etc.
Later that evening, Jessica knocks on Kinzo's door to have a chat, trying to form a bond with her distant grandfather. No reply came so she looked through the keyhole and saw Kinzo slumped against the far wall, looking dead, his face slumbed against his chest. Somehow, her instinct caused her to take a polaroid photo through the keyhole. She then ran around the mansion for help and eventually found Gohda who got a master key and opened the door. Together with Battler they entered the scene, but Kinzo was nowhere to be found.
Battler, the detective, took a good look around. The windows were locked from the inside, and Kinzo was gone, yet Jessica assures him Kinzo was dead. Battler compares her polaroid photo with the current scene.
The photo shows Kinzo's body slumbed against the wall next to his desk, pale and dead-looking. His desk had some large books on the occult, a desk-light and a globe of the world, as well as a shoebox. When comparing the photo with the current scene, Battler notices something strange that got him to the truth of the matter. One of the objects on the desk was different in the photo Jessica took. Battler begins to surmise what a terrible thing must have happened that day.

So how did Kinzo's body disappear? What really happened?

>>17053762
Could the body that was shot with a polaroid through a keyhole be definitely identified as Kinzos?

>>17053787
/RED/ The polaroid Jessica made definitely shows that Kinzo was dead at that time.

>>17053762
The culprit threw his body out of the window, accomplices snatching the body to hide it somewhere. Thereafter the culprit locked the windows from the inside and hid inside the room.

>>17053762
/BLUE/ Jessica is lying, Kinzo was killed and the photo was taken way earlier that day

>>17053884
/RED/ Jessica was not lying. The photo was taken at the moment she tried to talk to Kinzo.

>>17053882
/RED/ No body was thrown out of the window. When Battler, Jessica and Gohda investigated the room, nobody was hiding there.

This /RED/ /BLUE/ shit is some high level autism.

>>17053912
/BLUE/ Kinzo had a heart attack from the heat of that day. While he tried to stack the box back to the bookshelf, he fell down with excruciating pain and slumped against the wall. Natsuhi, the servants and Dr. Nanjo rushed to help, but alas they eventually proclaimed him dead. Hearing Jessica knocking on the door, they all freezed up. Immediately after she left they carried out his body to hide this incident.

>>17053762
/BLUE/ Kinzo was alive when Jessica took the picture.

>>17053834
>>17054052

>>17053762
/BLUE/ Kinzo was certainly medically dead when Jessica took the picture, but he wasn't alone in the room at the time. Luckily for him, Nanjo was at end to successfully resuscitate Kinzo. The moment he regained consciousness, he had Nanjo rush him from the room, knowing that Krauss would pounce on the opportunity to use this definitive proof of his frailness to take control of the family finances.
They are currently either on the island or attempting to leave it for a private medical clinic, from which Kinzo will return after he recovers with the excuse that he was called away on "urgent business." The object on the desk is a red herring, or maybe Kinzo was keeping medical supplies in a shoebox, which is quite keeping with his irreverent attitude.

>>17054052
>>17054062
I will state it.
/RED/ Ushiromiya Kinzo was dead at the time Jessica took the picture.

>>17053959
/RED/ Kinzo did not die from a heart attack. In fact, he died in a very, very gruesome way.

>>17054698
I love the theorizing and I feel like a bastard but basically all of that is wrong. However, yes;
/RED/ The moment Jessica took the picture, Kinzo was not alone in the room at the time.

>>17030440

>>17016315
Are we going to see this one ever finished?

>He hasn't mastered the Green Implication

>>17056475
Or the Supreme White Truth

>>17055426
>gruesome
/BLUE/ Kinzos body was simply carried out from the front door by the culprit. The object that is different is the shoebox,since the culprit would be one of those that accompanied him on the tour. Deciding not to leave footprints, they simply donned Kinzos shoes and left theirs behind.

Also, were there any visible external wounds or red traces around Kinzo.

>>17053762
/BLUE/ After being done with his yearly tour of Rokkenjima, Kinzo secretly threw a welcome party for Battler (he did not want to display his cheeful side to his other children and grandchildren). During the party, Kinzo noticed that Natsuhi was depressed due to Eva previously mocking her. They started chatting with each other and ended up getting drunk in front of Battler. That explains why Battler can take a rough yet accurate guess at what happened in spite of the huge lack of hints.
During the evening, Kinzo ordered Natsuhi to fight him using her bare hands so that she would realize she isn't inferior to Eva when it comes to fighting spirit. Kinzo died after being forced to swallow his own shoes. Since Natsuhi had no idea whether the person knocking the door had a master key or not, she dragged Kinzo's corpse under the desk in a hurry, thus preventing Battler from spotting it at first glance when he first enters the room. Natsuhi tried to hide herself under the same desk, but before doing so, she removed the shoes from Kinzo's mouth and put them back in the shoebox in order to put an end to his desecration. The words "Kinzo was gone" refer solely to the fact Battler knows Kinzo is gone for good. Battler sympathizes with Natsuhi and is pondering the best way to hide the cruel truth from Jessica.

>>17056917
I love it. But, obviously, no.

>>17056904
/RED/ Kinzo's body was not carried out from the front door.

/RED/ The object that is different is the globe of the world. Battler notices that the angle is different from the one in the polaroid, meaning someone had altered it.

>>17056904
Oh, and I forgot to mention.

/RED/ The only visible wounds on Kinzo was some blood coming out of his mouth and around his shirt.

>>17057655
/BLUE/ Kinzo's body was somehow stuffed inside the globe

>>17057688
/RED/ It is impossible to put an entire human body into a globe of the world.

Close though.

>>17057923
/blue/ Kinzo's body was entirely crushed under the weight of the globe, his remains were hidden inside the globe, inside the shoebox and between the books. The little pieces left were flushed down the toilet

Is that gruesome enough ?

>>17058138
Haha, I Iike your thinking. But remember, it was only the globe that caused Battler to realise the horrible truth. The thing you need to know is

/RED/ Kinzo died during his tour of Rokkenjima, not in his study.

I'm starting to notice I almost always use Kinzo as the victim. I should try someone else next just to switch it up.

>>17058280
Can Kinzo's entire body be seen in the photo ?
If not...
/blue/ Only half of Kinzo's body was transported into his study and hidden in the globe

bullying the old man is fun

>>17056445
I'm currently trying to learn how to use illustrator so that I can make better work. Sorry for the delay.

>>17058324
I think it's the secluded room that makes him an easy target for mysteries. I dunno. In any case:

/RED/ When Jessica took the polaroid, "Ushirmiya Kinzo" was both inside his study and outside his study. This is also true for when Battler investigated.

How big is a standard globe, anon?

>>17058421
/BLUE/ During the tour, Kinzo was decapitated. Then, in the study, the culprit made a "body" by stuffing Kinzo's clothes, and placed his head on top. After Jessica ran to get Gohda, the culprit then put Kinzo's head inside the globe.

>>17058421
/Blue/The Kinzo Jessica witnessed was just a cutout of a polaroid from the real crime scene taped to the keyhole
When Jessica took the picture someone was in the room hiding behind the globe, and they left in a hurry the globe was manipulated by accident

These threads are so confusing to read now.

What the fuck is going on?

>>17058979
Are you new? An anon presents a mystery, and other anons present their guesses and theories in an attempt to solve it.
The one that presents the mystery responds to posts with /RED/ to shoot down theories, while those that post /BLUE/ are the others trying to solve the mystery.
You're free to participate and try to solve it, or you can ignore it. It's been a regular thing for months now.

I'm almost annoyed how well you can construct a mystery.
/BLUE/ Kinzo, was poisoned by Gohda on the tour and died at the time just before entering his room assuming the tour ends the moment he enters his room again. He was rushed to his room by his attendants to not let anyone else see him. for now. Deciding to slice him up to flush the evidence of this accident they cut up his body in pieces and flushed it down the toilet. His head being the only part that is too big was sliced at the neck and stuffed inside the globe.
The event was an accident!

>>17059177
Correction, Kinzo was poisoned by Gohda on the breakfast BEFORE the tour.
The poisoning was also accidental as Gohda bears no evil will towards his employer.

/BLUE/ the killer ripped Kinzo's face off, made a mask with his skin and posed for the photo inside the study

>>17058506
<CONGRATULATIONS>

During the tour, like I mentioned, they visited the tool shed. A terrible accident occurred with a chainsaw and Kinzo was sadly decapitated. Everyone was sick with panic and had no idea what to do. Surely no one would believe it was an accident, and on top of that, Kinzo dying now would reveal Krauss's embezzlement.
Then Natsuhi remembered that Jessica told her that morning that after the tour, she wanted to speak to Kinzo one-on-one. Reluctantly, they all came up with a plan. Hiding Kinzo's body in the forest, they only took his head. Back in Kinzo's study, they got some of his clothes and stuffed them with pillows/blankets/other clothes and slumped the "body" against the wall, placing the decapitated head on top. Not long after, Jessica knocked on the door. They could see her looking through the keyhole, but had no idea she would take a photo.
As soon as Jessica left, Genji, Nanjo, Kumasawa, Krauss and Natsuhi panicked. Surely Jessica would be back with help soon and Kinzo's death would be discovered. Genji knew the globe was actually one of those liquor cabinets which was empty at the moment, so he suggested placing Kinzo's head inside for the time being. They then threw the pile of clothes that was made to look like Kinzo's out of the window (so no "body" was thrown out of the window *cackle*) and all of them got out of the study. Genji and Kumasawa went and hid the clothes.

Then Jessica, Gohda and Battler entered and we know the story from there. Battler noticed how the globe had moved on its axis which would be odd if there was only a dead body in the room. He opened it, found Kinzo's head and started to get an idea of what happened.

Thanks for playing everyone, hope you enjoyed it! Might give it a little break for now as they sort of take over the threads a bit.

>>17059177
>I'm almost annoyed how well you can construct a mystery.
Haha, thank you very much indeed.

Is Higanbana as worth it?

>>17060694
It is not a wild ride, its also pretty short.
Read it for fun.

>>17060444
That was a good one.

How do you write your mysteries? Where do you start and what are the steps, if that's not too much to ask?

>>17060444
>>17061933
Also, to elaborate, because for once I actually took motive into account for one of my mysteries: the reason they made the "Kinzo doll" was because Natsuhi knew Jessica would visit him. She had to see Kinzo in the study, and Natsuhi knew Jessica would be the kind of person to poke her eye through the keyhole. They just didn't have enough time to get rid of the bloodstains.
The idea was that Jessica would see Kinzo in his study, perhaps having a nap, but it all went terribly wrong. The plan afterwards was to get rid of Kinzo entirely and so the narrative weaves into the actual Umineko story where Krauss, Natsuhi and the servants pretend Kinzo is alive and just won't come out of his study anymore. Natsuhi feared Jessica would become suspicious if she didn't see Kinzo in his study, because she might think something had happened during the yearly tour of Rokkenjima, which would implicate Krauss, Natsuhi and the servants.

>>17061933
It's hard to describe, I'm afraid. I've been asked this before. I usually start with a locked room. Then I try and think of any way a culprit could get in, out or remain in the room. Then I try and think of other things that might misdirect readers into thinking it was a "locked room". You can play with time, people lying, etc. Then I try and think of something so convoluted, so idiotic that nobody would ever think to do (like the gun in the axe) and work it into the story. Of course, once that's finished I throw in some red herrings, put suspicion on some people in particular etc. I also read a lot of mystery novels and watch a lot of detective series where I pick up tips and tricks with misdirection, clues and crimes as well and just use them as inspiration.
Also, the thing to remember is, it's NEVER the first thing you think of. If, as a writer, the first solution you come up with, you throw out the window, because everyone will have thought of that. I hope this was somehow clear.

>>17060694
Yes.

What's the weirdest pairing you've come across?

>>17063376
Dlanor/Erika

Absolutely disgusting and heretical. Erikafags once again obsessing to the point of overanalyzing their relationship in the VN.

>>17060444
I am not sure if its just me or did these threads become slow burners.
Anyways, even if it eats up a thread, as long as you can entertain us sometimes, it will be more than enough.

On the other note, what other sound novels can /seacats/ recommend? Also I wouldn't mind playing something like Corpse party.

>>17063431
I always worry my mysteries slow the thread down. Sure, many people enjoy playing along, but I fear that the people who don't enjoy them just sit and lurk instead of posting about what they want.
I'll continue the mysteries, but there's always that nagging thought that most of the anons in the thread just wanna talk about Umineko, not do silly RED/BLUE wars. Whenever I post a mystery, there's an upsurge of posting, but once someone solved it, the thread's dead. Every time.

>>17063390
>overanalyzing their relationship in the VN.

>>17063512
I thought you might feel that way, but don't get discouraged. Umineko has been released quite a long time ago. There is nothing to do but for its fanbase to make up content in this threads.
Discuss the game, the music, make mysteries, post pictures of Lucifer...
It all makes a single thread.
If other anons don't have anything to say, you have as much as right to create some content if you feel so.

Anyways, breathers are fine. I understand if you post too much by yourself, you may feel uncomfortable about filling up the thread.
Whenever you feel confident, go ahead and create a discussion, there is always bound to be someone to talk to you if you put effort in it.

Don't forget. It takes two to create a universe!

>>17063725
Thanks for your words, you're quite right as well.
What I meant is, anons seem to think that when a game is on and they're not participating, they don't feel like posting.

Also, don't make the mistake that I'm only here for the mysteries I post. I'm a regular on here and discuss Umineko in various ways. It's almost certainly true that you and I have had a discussion in the past.

>>17063390
I don't buy it, but honestly it doesn't seem that impossible
Seeing how clingy Erika was I could see it happen

>>17051604
Just use your mind next time.

If in When The Goats Cry there's that character called Sakura and her good friend Asakura and they are never seen together and they talk to each other constantly, you'd better learn, faggotron.

>>17066350
And if there's a character who's name means 34 that should be a dead giveaway at this point.

Anyone have a link for episodes 1-4 and 5-8 in English with voice patches? I'm trying to get a friend into the series but can't seem to find the torrent links anymore

>>17069522
>for a friend

>>17069522
https://nyaa.pantsu.cat/view/911641

>>17069522
I made this awhile ago.

https://mega.nz/#F!D9RyhBzI!qw4Svzef4ty1IUY4szP74Q

It only has ep 1-4
Will add ep 5 whenever the voice patch is finished.

If you participted in Logic Battles, what form would your weapon take? We've got scythes and swords, but we never really got to see anything else iirc.

>>17072584
Whips, spears.
But the scythe is so cool.

>>17072584
Twin shotguns just because of the cool factor. One would shoot out Red Truths, the other Blue Truths. Shoot down theories with the left gun, shoot out my own theories with the right. I would be known as the Gunslinger Detective.

>>17072584
I could see a whole Umineko spin-off with various detectives using their weapons of choice to battle it out with their logic in order to solve murders

Did we do this already? I forgot?
What's every Umineko's weapon of choice?

Krauss has boxing, Jessica has those fist things, George has his fat legs, Nanjo has his syringes of course.
What's the weapon of choice for all the other Ushiromiyas and servants? If they ever had a cool fight scene? And don't just say Winchester.

>>17072584
Mine would probably be a halberd.

>>17072584
I'm not good at creating multiple theories and letting go of wrong ones so it would probably be something like the guns used in the Shannon/Kanon love duel

>>17072584

A gaudy plastic spitball gun.
I write my theories on blue or red paper, roll them into a small ball and then fire them annoying at people.

>>17073286
It's too easy but I suspect a frozen mackerel can pack a mean punch in Kumasawa's case. Gohda would use kitchen utensils, but that's not really cool enough...maybe he'd be like Nanjo and have several different knives held between each of his fingers, and he'd explain exactly what each knife was for and which he would use to cut which bit of your body to make the most glorious Dish of Death

>>17038355
lel dude

Why do the threads always die when a mystery is solved

>>17077090
Because we pay our respects to the fallen.

>>17072584
The stick. Always.
The stick can grow to touch the sky, break the clouds and make to rain millions of splinters sharper than a sword. If you break the stick then you have two sticks, if you break two sticks then you have four sticks, if you burn the stick then the smoke doesn't let you breathe and you die! The stick is always ready for battle!
The stick is also perfect to write red and blue truths in the sand or snow, you can even make a sandcastle for defence or built an army of snowmans with a few sticks. The stick always wins!!!

>>17078844
DnD 2nd ed. is OP.

>>17080461
Sorry, I don't understand.

>>17082275
Not that anon but I can't make sense of it either. Maybe it's a reference to dungeons and dragons or something?

>>17082912
Yes, I search it and thought the same. Maybe the stick is some kind of meme from another board and I didnt' know. I read it on /a/ a while ago and thought it was funny.
Or maybe anon was simply chating with someone else and replied with that message by mistake. It happens. Maybe it's a secret message...
Another mystery unsolved, oh well.

>>17083176
We leave no mystery unsolved here, anon. Take a closer look at his post. The capital letter placement, the full stop. There must be a hidden message!

>>17083344
>DnD 2nd ed. is OP.
Do not die 2 (two/to?) to none d (day/dead,?) ??? is OP. I'm lost, I'm afraid I'm not a detective, anon. What's the meaning of the D? The D seems to be important. I want the D. I must find this D.

>>17083519
I will endeavour to give you the D if you so wish it. But first we must look closely at the message.

>DnD 2nd ed. is OP.
DnD could be Dungeons and Dragons. Do not die wouldn't work because why would he capitalise the "d" for "die". 2nd could simply means "second" but we should not stop there. He could be referring to two nasty dangers. OP most likely stands either for over-powered or original poster. But we can go deeper.

I propose that the poster had Caps Lock on and off in a means of distracting us from the truth!
DnD would turn into dNd, Nd of course being Neodymium on the periodic table. A silvery substance. He refers to it again in "2nd ed." Perhaps he put Caps Lock off for the moment in order to confuse us! OP means Oxygen and Phosphorus

Now tell me, what do you get when you combine Neodymium, more Neodymium, Oxygen and Phosphorus? I suggest we have a true connoisseur of elements and poisons on our hands here, anon. I do not know what it was about your post about the stick, but I think you should lock your doors and windows tonight. Someone with vast knowledge of chemicals seems to be on the prey for you. God speed.

>>17083729
Knox's 4th: It is forbidden for unknown drugs or hard to understand scientific devices to be USED!

>>17083786
No rules just tools!

>>17083786
You misunderstand Knox's 4th. It only pertains to unknown drugs and substances. The periodic table is middle/high school knowledge. Knox's 4th was used to stop writers from using "foreign jungle poisons" in their writing. Therefore the theory still stands!

>>17083729
So someone else wants to kill me? Probably some pedo looking for venguence. I made a terrorist attack to a loli thread with a few mini grenades a week ago, and an inocent loli died in the process. I still have flashbacks.
Thank god it's friday night. I must hide in the shadows, along the crowd. You didn't see me.

>>17083838
You killed an innocent loli? Anon. I was trying to help you find out what that other anon was trying to say to you but now....you've put the whole thread against you.
A well-hidden secret, yet known to all of us in /seacats/ is Knox's 11th: IT IS FORBIDDEN TO HARM LOLI'S IN ANY WAY

Lock your doors and windows if you want, anon. It won't help. I am mystery-anon. I will find a way to enter your room, kill you and escape. You underestimate my craft and my zeal for punishing those who attack or kill loli's.

Seal yourself in a bunker made of cement, it won't matter. I'll be there. Consider yourself warned.

What would you say is your favorite Umineko episode? Mine is probably EP5.

>>17072584
A bow. Stay away from harm as much as possible and take cheap potshots.

This looks familiar...

>>17083818
I would prefer if the mention of poison becomes possible.
Though I see Knox 4th as using poison that lets the victim do something stupid. Like drinking poison X made the victim do action Y before dying.

>>17072584
An objetively superior Japanese Katanah folded a thousand times.

>>17084168
Word, same here.

I also like EP4 a lot even though I think it gets some flak for being melodramatic and overly long (I think the longest in pure script length). Somehow it just really resonated with me emotionally with my life, with what Ange was going through.

>Still waiting for MangaGamer to release Umineko Chiru

>>17084168
3>5>6>8>7>4>1>2

>>17072584
A knife.

>>17091246
what kat thinging about?

>>17063575

>>17093960
It is considering suicide after the realization of the fact that Uminko and Chiru will never get a proper anime

>>17094536
There's always pachinko

I CAME INSIDE SUCY!

What is this and why does Rena look so sexy.

>>17091861
What's the deal with a lot of people disliking EP2, I really enjoyed it as being the episode where you think "well let's try to figure this out, she can't be a real witch" and then bam Beatrice literally makes Battler/the reader her bitch.

>>17094684
A collaboration with a Japanese mobile game called ラストピリオド (Last Period). Nothing big or serious.

>>17094724
I've only read the VN once and I suspect I might like the episode more upon a reread, but giving Battler and by extension the reader next to no fighting chance mostly felt like a test for tolerance of frustration.

>>17094825
Ryukishi ended up replacing Land of the Golden Witch with Banquet because so many complained it was already getting too difficult. I think that was the whole point of having a game against a witch, but it did end up giving us Erika and Virgilia over Virgilius in the end.
At the 07th Expansion early last month, he mentioned that he was wondering how abstract to make it and whether to lean towards entertainment or something difficult to understand that will have people arguing on message boards. Which one would everyone here prefer?

>>17084168
3>7>4>5=1>2>8>6

>>17094825
>'The difficulty is first-rate.'
>'The Witch intends to make you surrender with no warning.'

>Complain that the difficulty is first-rate.
>Complain that the episode makes you surrender with no warning.

I loved EP 2 exactly because it was such a bitch of an episode. It was a troll of massive proportion, a bullshit in making, the result of all Beatrice's tricks in one massive salvo before you even had the chance to learn about them. It was too hard, and that exactly why it was so good.

If you started with something a little easier, Umineko's impact would probably be worse.

>At the 07th Expansion early last month, he mentioned that he was wondering how abstract to make it and whether to lean towards entertainment or something difficult to understand that will have people arguing on message boards. Which one would everyone here prefer?

Full mystery full difficulty all the time. I want to drown in bullshit until I can't even remember my own name.

As for abstractness, this is a more difficult issue. I feel that Umineko had the good balance between reality and abstractness, with a slow descent into meta culminating with episode 6. Episode 8 was too far, though. There's a lot of fantasy battles in Episode 8 which does not go anywhere, and have the only purpose to provide entertainment. That's one of the reason why Episode 8 is the worst in my book.

>>17095174
>>17095174
I'm just realizing that I forgot to make it clear that he was wondering for his next When They Cry project.
I'd look forward to another difficult mystery, but Umineko was getting a little too crazy and hard to follow with all the layers of meta. I still like Umineko for what it is, but if he tries to out-do that aspect in his next project, I might end up hating it.

>>17094724
Is it particularly disliked? I've never heard of that. I like it since it focuses on Rosa, who is my fav of the siblings.

Not sure if anyone else has uploaded it yet, but if not here are Harem Game raws.
https://mega.nz/#!RDokgZAQ!dDWRCGKSbPMKprfPkjT1Ulcm75Xd5EsvbEfL9x7fo_I

>>17094684
B I G

Thighs

Cornelia has the best thighs

>>17098751
Let it be known that unless you squeeze them, sit them down or exaggerate them, they are not considered big.

>>17097111
Thanks!

>>17098775
Let me know if there are any issues, I didn't double check it.

>>17083866
Hah! That all you got? That's it? I'm still alive, fucker. I remembered, and I came here specifically to laugh at you, be thankful.
I'll not bump this thread, as a way to show my complete disdain and contempt towards your ugly nerdy kind.

Villainous laugh, etc.

>>17043623
>I remember thinking how it made so much sense it made all along.

Sorry, but no. If r07 hadn't proclaimed Shannon and Kanons deaths in red when Yasu was still going around murdering people I would have been willing to agree, but no, using personality death in that way is a load of bullshit. By that reasoning Rosa could be proclaimed to not be the culprit in red, and you could counter it with: "well, how about her alternate "black witch" personality? Checkmate mysteryfags!" Knowing this kind of trick is possible breaks the whole mystery, to the point where it can no longer be called a mystery at all.

>>17046053
DAVID FOSTER WALLAAAAAAAACE!

>>17099521
Ah but you see, the thrill is in the chase, never in the capture. The fact that you felt compelled to come back here and challenge me gives me enough insight into your way of thinking. We'll see how long you'll be coming back.

WTC5 bingo when
>WW2 trivia
>guns
>Terrible childhoods

>>17102090
>34
>Okonogi
>busty loli

>>17102090
I'm pretty sure I've seen a r07 Bingo around here somewhere, never downloaded though and I couldn't find it in archives.

>>17102157
I'd like to see that if anyone's got that wandering around on their PC somewhere.

>>17101932
Exactly, it started out as a mystery, but eventually became a test of what the reader believes to be true, where anything can be twisted

>>17102181
I'll post it in a few hours

>>17043503
love is a crutch that can be used against just about anything.

he could turn that around at you just as easily. you don't love mystery or uncovering the truth, but instead choose to be spoonfed by the author's forgeries, so when the witch says "stop thinking. x is real" you accept it unconditionally.

>>17101932
Beatrice using the pseudonym "Shannon" to confirm her death rather than being specific and saying Sayo was always a pretty obvious loophole, though.

Kanon's real name never being revealed in EP1-4 discouraged that way of thinking, but that was actually a hint that Shannon is Kanon due to Knox's 8th.

>>17102606
You seem to be misunderstanding something, I never told him ShKanontrice was the correct answer to the mystery, I simply told him it's a possible way to look at the mysteries surrounding Rokkenjima and he simply couldn't accept it.

>>17101932
>>17102410

Isn't the fact that the story can be seen as a mystery or fantasy depending on the person who is interpreting it one of the the major points of the whole novel?

>>17103490
oh. you didn't convey it in your post.

if all he said was that it's stupid, then he'd be right, but if he was "i can't believe this, it's too stupid therefore it's impossible!", then yeah.

is shkanon+ retarded? absolutely. but it's still one of the possible interpretations. in the end mysteries are an individualistic thing after all.

you solve the riddle for yourself, and whatever you come up with, it's your version of the truth, and how you'll shape your internal/imaginary seacats world, where your version of those characters live. whether it's correct or not doesn't matter, it's not like you'll get an award or something for doing it right.

>>17042715
for those of us who can't read runes, where exactly is the higurashi tracks located?

you may hate me for this but that doesn't change the fact that ryu overuses the void within all of his vns.

>>17103835
Since it would take a while to explain I'll just upload all three tracks for you.

https://mega.nz/#!jhx3CQTQ!6hBhI8zFH9xFEtvRRbeiVhMwmawWenokvQAjZtNmOiI

>>17104271
>https://mega.nz/#!jhx3CQTQ!6hBhI8zFH9xFEtvRRbeiVhMwmawWenokvQAjZtNmOiI
thank you!

>>17101932
The entirety of Episode 2 is a huge foreshadowing for Shkanontrice.

Evatrice red web of truth in Episode 3 makes you reach for a loophole in the red. It only makes sense if such a loophole exist, and you will pay particular attention to its wording.

Episode 4 entire point is that sometimes people aren't there, even when they are shown to be there. Kinzo is dead prior to all games.

If, after reading the first four episodes, you are still entirely unwilling to accept Shkanontrice as the natural conclusion of four entire fucking episodes made to slowly introduce you to Shkanontrice, then you are quite literally a goat.

>>17105587
In my experience the ones who lacks love are usually the people who go around calling others goats for not sharing their point of view.
>If r07 hadn't proclaimed Shannon and Kanons deaths in red when Yasu was still going around murdering people I would have been willing to agree
I don't deny that it makes sense in hindsight, nor that it was the intended solution from the beginning, nor that it makes for a good story. The Problem is that the catbox this kind of cheap trick creates completely eradicates the framework within which reasoning out a single culprit is possible. Maybe when "that Beatrice" died it just meant that her memories were lost for good, and she's been living in the woods all these years.

>>17104049
Can I get one of them time witches to send me back to 1983 so I don't have to deal with autism spinners?

>>17106673
>I don't deny that it makes sense in hindsight, nor that it was the intended solution from the beginning, nor that it makes for a good story.

So literally it's the perfect solution.

>The Problem is that the catbox this kind of cheap trick creates completely eradicates the framework within which reasoning out a single culprit is possible.

Boohoo. Umineko is difficult. This is your argument: I couldn't reason out Shkanontrice, so even though it is the intended solution from the beginning, it makes a good story, and was foreshadowed as hell, it's a obviously a bad solution.

You're simply whining. Okay, anon, you didn't get Shkanontrice. You know what? I had it in mind since Kanon's introduction in Episode 1, simply because their names were similar, their outfits were kinda similar, and I know Elevens love traps. Not Great Detective level of intellect here. I don't even rape intellectually in my spare time.

>>17022523
I feel like this was the plot to a midsummer murders episode.

>>17107193
It's not difficult, it's simply unconclusive up to the point where the solution is presented.

>>17107504
Midsomer Murders is famous for its ridiculous deaths and I love it. Once episode had the killer pin the victim down on his lawn with hooks, then catapulted wine bottles at him with a trebuchet until he died. In the same episode, the culprit fits a hollow TV set onto his victim, closed off with rubber, and asks him questions. For each wrong answer, the killer empties a bottle of wine into the TV from above, until eventually the victim drowned in wine.

Midsomer Murders isn't really about mystery or howdunit, but there are some very creative murders in there for anyone that's interested.

Why is Satoko such a lewd loli kiddo?

The actual, literal kid-cuteness of an actual, literal umineggo-girl! Maria be cute! Hecka cute! CUTE!

>>17112397
Please don't drink while posting on /jp/. When I do, I post deep insightful comments that have at least 7 yous. When you do, your intellect, already failing, shrink to an almost proterozoic level.

>>17113983
Ignore and report ban evaders

UUUUU UUUUUU UUUUUU

I know this isn't entirely accurate due to the interacting multiverses but...

>>17114314
The one after /jp/ should be damedame

beato

>>17115792
>when there's nothing left to say

>>17102043
>We'll see how long you'll be coming back.
"staaareeeee"
>pokes you with an interdimensional stick and instantly shatters into a billion pieces.
Problem solved! That's what you get for threatening me ahahaha.

Finally finished RGD. It was a passable drag of rollercoaster ride that was getting pretty lethargic by the end, but not in a good way like Umineko and Higanbana were. Should I end myself now?

>>17115940
>Should I end myself now?
Yes, there's nothing left for you to live on. I always liked you in secret, bye anon.

I want to be stepped on by Ange

>>17116048
I'd prefer being sat on

>[Deleted]
Why now though? Took you long enough. Why don't you do something useful and delete those pedo threads on /a/, imbecile.
>>17102043
>pokes you again

Don't mind me, just testing if I was banned or just deleted again.
Will anon be able to see my post? Will mod stop being an incompetent dumbass? There's only one way to find out...

Oups.

Reminder: ban evading cancer gets deleted faster if more than one or two people reports it. Do your part.

Dear incompetent dumbass, why are you dumb?
>>17116217
I agree. Every time I report that pedo-mariafag gets deleted. It's kind of funny.

>>17116217
Also, I was only playing a little with Mystery anon. No reason to get me deleted, asshole.
Whatever. I'm not even mad.

>>17116217
I'm not angry, but I hope your dick gets stuck in a mouse trap. Lol bye.

>>17116048
>>17116074
I want her to squeeze me between her thighs and insult me.

Been a while since I finish Umineko, is the conclusion just that everything was just a tale? And what really happened on the island? Was the witches like the blond and blue haired one just made up then?

>>17118553
Sayo wrote a couple of fanfics about killing the Ushiromiyas as Beatrice, then (s)he got BTFO in one night by Kyrie, and then Battler was brought out of his amnesia by reading EP1-2 and decided to write the rest of the arcs as a reply to his lost love.

>>17118579
How did she get BTFO by Kyrie? btw what happened on the island or it is up to the reader to speculate what happened?

>>17118553
>nobody really knows what happened on Rokkenjima
>Yasu wrote two stories beforehand about it being magic and sent them off in message bottles
>Battler, along with Ikuko, became Tohya Hachijo and wrote several forgeries in an attempt to regain his memories and understand Battler better
>magic isn't real and witches don't exist

>>17118593
Kyrie solved the epitaph in one night, then shot Sayo and started killing everyone else until she got killed by Eva. Sayo managed to survive and met up with Battler, though, and so they escaped the island together.

Sayo couldn't deal with the guilt of what she had caused and the anxiety of living in an unfamiliar place as an incestuous eunuch, though, so she decided to commit suicide by jumping into the ocean while she was at her very happiest.

Basically:

EP1-2: Written by Sayo, culprit is Sayo masked as Beatrice
EP3-5: Written by Battler, culprit is Sayo masked as Beatrice, Goldsmith or the man from 19 years ago (with a bunch of Eva murders in EP3 too, represented by Evatrice)
EP6-8 kind of mess with the border between the writer and the tale, but the EP7 tea party and the scene with Battler and Beatrice on the boat are what happened on the real Rokkenjima. The EP8 manga goes into more detail on the boat scene, showing how Shannontrice confesses everything to Battler and how he accepts the truth, followed by them escaping the explosion before reaching the boat.

>>17118638
What was sayo guilty of if Kyrie is the one who killed everyone else?

>>17118663
She was still planning on carrying out the murders she had written about in real life if the epitaph hadn't been solved, so she felt guilty about that. Battler points out that she didn't actually do anything wrong even if she intended to, though.

>>17118684
And so as weak minded she is, because of this reasoning she killed herself? There's hardly anything to feel guilty about there. But since its been a while since I've finished the game, was there a reason why she would kill everyone if it wasen't solved?

>>17118694
The guilt was probably secondary to her immense self-hatred at being an incest child with mutilated genitals, though. The reason she intended to kill everyone was basically as a huge murder-suicide, set up as a complicated murder mystery on purpose in hopes of Battler figuring out the truth and stopping her, since she wanted him to remember her and the promise they had made six years ago.

This part of the manga pretty much explains it all about Sayo's past and motive:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AL8AEVu0Tz8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBDKzHYPbHE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z12s4ysBYb8
What really happened on Rokkenjima:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5fZUD9uGHU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1jJH4G3N1c

>>17118731
So Sayo Yasuda is a male, take the role of Beatrice and shannon and kanon in the real world doesn't exist? Also they cut Sayo dick off?

>>17118758
Did you really read Chiru? Sayo was given away to Natsuhi as an infant since she seemed infertile and Kinzo wanted to hide the fact Sayo was his child, but Natsuhi rejected the baby and pushed him off a cliff, resulting in his genitals being destroyed and having to be operated into something closer to a vagina.

>>17118800
no wonder they tried to push "magic is real. uuuuu" onto that. even the characters knew ryukishi's idea was so ridiculous and embarrassing that "a witch did it with magic" sounded less cringeworthy, so they tried to hide it from the readers.

>>17118800
yeah read it, didn't see the bit where it mentions his dick gets destroyed during the cliff fall.
So it goes like this:
Kinzo have sex with Beatrice Castiglioni then she dies by giving birth to Beatrice Ushiromiya, Ushiromiya gets kept in a cage and has sex with Kinzo resulting in Sayo Yasuda (Male) to be born. Sayo Yasuda disguises himself as Beatrice and shannon

>>17118609
Good thing Gensokyo exists though

>>17118758

I want to troll George the fat fuck by giving him and Shannon a home pregnancy test kit!

>>17120167
That's more like being cruel to Shannon

>>17120430

I want to hug all the Aunts and then go to give Shannon a hug and then say "OH WAIT I ONLY HUG WOMEN LOL"

stupid sexy duct tape
stupid sexy decalogue

>>17120582
This seems kind of insulting. Dlanor can bathe herself.

>>17120617
She's just a kid

>>17120672
That doesn't mean she can't bathe herself. She's not a babby, she can do paperwork and execute heretics.

>>17120167
Penis inspection day for Kanon in front of Jessica!

>>17120672

Ch-Chibi.

>>17120717
Ange has hands down the best body type in Umineko.

>>17120738

Yes.

>>17120617
No she can't.

>>17120738
Sexiest seacat

Be sure to give Ange lots of love and affection while you are using her body.

>>17120709
Is Jessica the one in charge of inspecting?

>>17120819
What would you use her body for?

>>17120830

Robbing a bank

>>17120696
Dlanor please, you're not fooling anyone.

>>17120792
>drawn by a woman

Man I want to FUCK a witch.

Like this?

>>17120793
Yes she can.

Why is Maria such a cute loli kidderrrrr?

Why is Ryukishi so good at writing climatic moments? I can't think of many other series that has moments as hype as the average Umineko chapter climax

LOL, I was hiding under a small rock. Yeah good come back

>>17123871
What was the most hype moment for you in the series? For me it would have to be Battler's comeback at the end of Episode 5. I think Episode 8 had the most hype overall though.

>>17125010
That one moment with Battler making his comeback in episode 5 was hype enough to make episode 5 my favorite episode over all. Personally it's the best climax moment for any of the episodes.

I don't understand the hate for 7-8.
It brings all the depth to Umineko.
Without it, it is not nearly as good of a work.

Alright lads be honest
How many of you were in the Narnith stream
Because some of you were very obviously there

>>17125367
People who specifically dislike both 7 and 8 were probably just unhappy about the solution.

Also, am I the only one who actually started liking Episode 8 more after reading the manga? I thought it was okay when I first read the vn, but now it's one of my favorite Episodes.

>>17125395
got me

>>17125395
I had to miss it because of work, but I definitely plan to watch it later.

I'm glad such a good reader did a Let's Play of Umineko.

>>17125395
My rabbit determination unintentionally halted the multiplayer

>>17125367
EP7 is great and really only beaten by maybe EP3. EP8 is absolute trash outside of the manga, though. Minigames and the entire cast having a free-for-all against strawmen is not how you conclude a series.

In particular, the boat scene isn't nearly as powerful in the VN where it's portrayed as a context-less BeaBat daydream that ends in forced drama rather than as the conclusion of the Rokkenjima massacre where Battler finally realizes that Beatrice is Shannon and she confesses everything to him. Confession of the Golden Witch, Erika explaining EP5-6 and the extra scenes added between the hide-and-seek rounds really helped improve the manga version too.

>>17125401
I think ep7 was one of the the most interestingly conceived ones. It deviated too much from the episode formula.
Probably why it is my No.1 episode.

Ep8 ending is a seriously devastating ending.
Left me in shambles for months. The series itself reforged a small part of me. I understood R07 gave me as a reader some serious life advices that I can apply to most life situations.

In my humble opinion, I think this should be the secondary goal of all literature that is not aimed at self help,how to's or cook books.

>>17125419
Personally I found the first half of Episode 7 to be rather slow. It took me a while to get invested in Will as a lead character, and some of his interviews with the Ushiromiya's were just plain boring. The later half was much better though, and the Tea Party was top notch.

>>17125456
>I understood R07 gave me as a reader some serious life advices that I can apply to most life situations.

This. Umineko is probably the only series that caused a noticeable shift in my outlook on life. Its message just felt so genuine and heartfelt. Ryukishi wasn't just forcing some generic moral lesson with Ange's conflict about moving on with her life. He was was writing from experience, having recently dealt with the death of his best friend not long before.

Chapter 6 when?

Good lord, her stance and heels look mighty retarded.

>>17125395
I was, kinda annoying how bad he was at fighting games.

I want to anally fuck Erika.

>>17125679
It fits because she's retarded.

>>17125395
Who'sville


Anyway I promised you guys that bingo chart. Enjoy

Would you accept her?

>>17125010
CH6
Kyrie can[not] save Battler
wait no, it would have to be
CH4
Battler telling Beatrice that she's not coming at him full strength and that their match isn't over
eehhh, but then again there's EP5's

"Zen zen dameda" in pitch black indicating that a hype comeback is coming


but there's also EP1's
Battlers declaration of war on Beatrice's existence

Too many to pick from

>>17130379
I'm trying to grasp how does she actually walk at all. Also, wondering if her bones are malformed.

Meanwhile Keith is one of the coolest designs in RGD. Looks extremely badass. Too bad his character fell flat on face after doing so great.

>>17130531
Probably, as long as we had some common interests, I wouldn't mind hanging out with Sayo.
Problem is, we are never really shown what Sayo is really like. We can only guess what she would be like (except not so mentally sound).
If by chance Sayo was tolerable person, I'd accept her dick, no dick, mental illness,emotional baggage or whatever.

>>17130863
I like Keith. He's a pure nihilist and I honestly relate strongly to him.

>>17130863
Keith with white hair was even cooler. However nothing can top chillman Alan. Truly Bro-tier.