/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Half-heartedly resist until the pain becomes too much and the struggle becomes real.

Doesn't she go to the outside world to kidnap humans as food? Yeah, that ain't happening. If I can help it. Which I probably can't.

>>16774352
Probably let it happen.
>>16774361
Only if they're legitimately suicidal. She probably would do it to non-suicidal humans just for fun though, and dump them somewhere random or some shit.

Draw a firearm from a nightstand and hesitate pulling the trigger when I realize I didn't load in a magazine.

Depends on for what reason, since I have fucking meta knowledge I can probably surprise her.

>>16774352
Tell her if she abducts me. I will ruin the very foundation of Gensokyo

Hug the heg.

Instantly start formulating how I'm going to make Ran my wife.

>>16774352
Cry.

Calmly accept my death.

>>16774352
GUN
Unless it's in the middle of the night when i'm tryin to sleep. I have a conceal carry permit and so I keep a gun on me all the time even when at home.

>>16774352
Tell her she's an old hag and then accept death.

Attempt to strike up a conversation. Delay the inevitable for as long as possible while simultaneously gathering as much information about the situation.

Try to determine how fucked am I.

If she asks me what am I gonna do. More or less reply factually, "I dunno, probably go to Reimu or something and come back to the outside world. Catch a plane back to home."

She'd either hide her expression with her fan as she silently sends me away or plays the devil's advocate and asks what would I do if I couldn't go back.

"...I'unno. Probably try and settle down and get by day by day. Although I would like to reacquire the means of technology, but I doubt the kappa would be very forthcoming with that."

She'd realize that I was boring as hell and either defaults back to whisking me away for fodder or leaves me alone without doing so.

In which I giggle like a madman at my close brush with death.


I'll admit this was a nice hypothetical prompt to think about and imagine. You may go on and call me autistic now.

Videogames.

>>16774352
If I'm at home, attempt to grab my AR. It probably won't deter her, but at the very least, it will help me survive any youkai in Gensokyo.
If I'm outside, I'll have my phone, knife, and CC pistol. Those might not stop Yukari if she really wants me in her little fantasy land, but again, they'd be useful for survival. I also know how to reload my own rounds, so I could probably get some ammo even inside the barrier. Then I either try to get a job at the Scarlet Devil Mansion, where they could actually understand me, or learn magic.

But if H-doujins are to be believed, then I could just pull out my dick and hope to get off easy.

>>16774463
It's okay, Anon, we like your autism.
As for me, I'd probably scream for a bit, then give up and die. I hope I'm tasty, at least.

Tell her you hate Lunarians and would be willing to man an observatory in Gensokyo to keep an eye on them.

That, or ask if she wants anything done in the outside world.

Strike a deal to start a youkai village using my superior outside world ideology and technical knowledge

>>16774388
this but proclaim that she is maribel

>>16774463
>She'd either hide her expression with her fan as she silently sends me away or plays the devil's advocate and asks what would I do if I couldn't go back

But why WOULDN'T you be able to leave if you tried? Surely Reimu would be willing to help out a fellow human?

>>16774640
She consorts with youkai

>>16774640


Probably wouldn't even be that. She'd run through the process of sending you back and just as it's about to start either she pipes in with, "Oh, something happened and I can't send you back." Or she goes through with it and by sheer "coincidence" something happens on the travel back and you're either stuck back where you were dropped off or worse.

Barring that, Yukari can always persuade Reimu to not send you back for a vague reason or depending on the person's perspective of Gensokyo, money

saggers

>>16774669
If it were me, I'd still try to find a way to make it back home. What would be the smartest thing to do next? Would it help at all if i went to the moriya shrine? For some reason it seems like it would be a good idea, but at the same time its pretty risky.

Get taken to Gensokyo, become youkai of unwillingness.

>>16774352
Unsheathe my katana and teleport behind her.

>>16774684
>not being youkai of power and overpower everyone else

>>16774640
It's canon that sometimes travellers wander into Gensokyo and if not killed by youkai, they're able to leave via the shrine

The real question is. Why would she want me to abduct?

>>16774352
Rub her flat chest until she's too preoccupied with guarding them to do anything to me.

>>16774352
Dive my head between her enormous breasts.

>>16774352
Sniff her butt.

>>16774352

Suck her c*ck, dudes.

Because clearly this isn't real thus I must have entered the porn dimension.

Well, I'm not suicidal so there must be a bigger meaning behind it. That and I can /out/ my way to safety if need be.

>>16774906
She'd use your own cock on you so you'd suck your own cock instead.

Snuggle the gapheg.

>>16774922

What if she manipulated the boarder between her cock and my cock so that we both had the same cock.

>>16774707
If I had the ability to manipulate power I would just use it to cause a war between humans and youkai for funsies and probably try to power the border so it becomes large enough to cover the entire planet. Then I go back to Europe and chill as I get to build the magic equivalent of the modern world.

>>16774352
Try to get her to tell me why she's targeting me in particular (Since I'm not suicidal and go out of my way to avoid appearing particularly interesting), then bargain with her to either get her to drop me somewhere safe or give me a job that will more or less ensure my safety that way.

If it turns out that there's nothing to be done and I'm just fucked, well, shit. Maybe I can be something cool in my next life or something.

>>16774352
Finally hug my wife and then accept death.

>>16774352
Realistically, if she wanted to abduct me, she could've done so without showing herself.
The fact that she did, however, means she need something of me.
My best course of action is, of course, to comply with her whim, lest she would get bored and drop me off somewhere undesirable.

>>16774352
Commence head pats.

ignore her

>>16774352
Probably get an erection.

>>16774352
You cannot abduct a willing.

>>16774941
If the whole world went into Gensokyo, it(gensokyo) would cease to exist for the same reason magic doesn't exist on the outside already.

>>16775692
If you had the power to manipulate power then you could easily just spew magic everywhere, besides, it would only expand Gensokyo's reality to encompass the planet, which is still pretty much stuck in the 1800s. No one that she doesn't want would be able to enter the border unless through weak points anyway.

Sure, there wouldn't be enough humans to fill the entire planet if you made everything out of Gensokyo's reality and the natural landmass, but those that are there already believe in magic and youkai, all you have to do is properly colonize places. There are still magical creatures outside of gensokyo anywho, so magic hasn't completely left, just waned a lot so it could be bound to the specific reality you're in (makai, gensokyo, earth, etc)

>>16775839
Gensokyo isn't a shadow world that can go over reality, the world is either in it or not in it.

>>16775976
I'm pretty sure you can go to where Gensokyo supposedly is and not get inside the border.
Even if you couldn't, it's not like you couldn't manipulate it to do so with enough power behind it.

>>16775987
Adding onto this, the border is essentially something that makes Gensokyo a copy&paste world with no end, you go to the top of the map and you come out the bottom, etc. Natural things are not rejected by the border due to the "boundary of sense" but humans and their tools are unless they get through a weak point in the barrier, if they "punch through it" like Sumireko they eventually get thrown back, the only reason she's staying is because they took her in there eventually.
You could merely increase the area of this warped space to encompass the planet.

Also Yukari looked through the border of Gensokyo and it was filled with machines and shit so it's pretty much ontop of the place.

>>16774365
Why do you have a firearm in your nightstand if it's always in condition 4?

Seems pointless.

>>16774352

I'd consider never taking drugs again

>>16774352
I'd try to hug her. At least I'd die smelling the sweet scent of an extremely powerful youkai.

Go with her. I'm not living for anything now so I might as well be of some use as food for some cute youkai girls or try to build a new life in the village.

>>16778732
*old lady

>>16774352
So your attempt at negotiation fail and she whisked you anyway to Gensokyo for daily fodder.

You arrived at night. Light drizzle pour down and washed the muddy earth. You take a look around, where countless red and exotic shaped flower grow all around you.

But there is a different shade of red moving at the edge of your vision. It was a dot, no, two dots of glowing light that move as quickly as you turn around your head in panic. You open your mouth to scream, to ask, or to beg for help. But before anything can happen, you felt a presence at the back of your neck and the sound of jaw being opened.

tl;dr; If you are going to be eaten by one of the youkai girls, whom do you pick? Maybe with her your death will be less painful, or excitign, or atleast suit your fetish. Alternatively, who is the worst option to run into?

>>16778776
>If you are going to be eaten by one of the youkai girls, whom do you pick?
Remilia. Vampires are always fun.

Alternatively, any of them that I can possibly convince that it'd be more worthwhile or interesting to keep me around (Even if it were a complete superior/subordinate relationship) than to kill me. Which is probably Remilia again, or one of the ones that has a generally positive relationship with humans. If Yukari doesn't help me, I'll at least make an effort to help myself. Regardless of how unlikely it is.

Worst would be any of them that would do it painfully and have no chance of negotiation.

>>16778841
Does Remilia still search for her own food? I've only remembered images of Sakuya serving her blood tea everywhere that makes me forget. Because if she relies on Sakuya for bringing her sustenance, then I think choosing Remilia might be the worst one imo, since you are going to be butchered not by a yokai, who does that by their nature, but by a fellow human being that had
"sold their soul for the devil" by serving a vampire.

Sure she can make it quick for your own good by her time powers, but it felt like a waste for me if you went so far as Gensokyo only to be killed by a human.

>>16778776
Best, for me is probably one of the temple youkai. You arrived in RoR and met Nazrin whos searching for treasure there. She attempts at being sneaky, and invites you for some cajolling and a secret booze party with her friends.
So there you are, at a dead of the night, with the company of weirdly dressed peoples that were shady when you asked for their background. There's going to be a small party, everyone get very wasted, before Kyouko jumps at the first opening to took a chunk of your arm. You are too dazed to take it seriously, and so do they. Then it was Shou's turn. Then Nazrin's. Then the rest of them just pile up crazed by their prohibited drink and the taste of human flesh that they had not get for so long. You wont feel a thing when it was Kokoro's turn to rips off your heart, ending everythign in a blissful ignorance of alcohol.
The mornign they realize what they've done, and tried their best to give your remnants a proper burial and wish you the best afterlife with their rites. Its a win win, especially when Byakuren sniffs what her diciples have been up to at night and punish them.

The worst ones are the rough ones. I wanna say the Onis since they probably were more concerned at getting themselves drunk than yours first

>>16778776
[X] LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE

>>16779055
>Does Remilia still search for her own food?
Not at all, but that anon gave me the option to choose, so I chose. Whether or not it was a realistic option didn't play into it.

Though if I'm guaranteed no-way-out dead, then killed by youkai or killed by human doesn't make a difference to me.

>>16778776
>worst option
I'd say that would be the more child-like youkai; ya know, like Rumia. They're more likely to listen to their stomach than your words, so any attempt to talk to them is pointless.

Going back to your question, if I'm going to end up dying, then I'd rather the SDM crew have me. At least I die knowing I'd be cooked as a high-class meal by a beautiful maid, and being eaten by beautiful ladies. Classy death is better than messy one, ya know?

>>16774352
I'd become a dinosaur by doing a little dance. Shake your booty!

>>16778776
It doesn't matter. They are all the same anyway, but there's no way in hell I'd let anyone kill me, let alone eat me. No matter who I run into, even if I DO end up dying, I will never go down without a fight, no matter how hopeless it may seem.

And who knows, things just might work out in my favor.

>>16778776
Kogasa, she just wanted to spook me real good. She gets excited at me being thoroughly spooked, then directs me to the human village.

For some reason she follows me the whole way, maybe she thinks I can convince the villagers to give us snacks.

>>16778776
Do you think if I screamed to give me moment before dying to Remi, she'd let me have a moment?
Could I convince her to make me her servant, or something? I could let her use me as a blood farm, as long as I live.
>>16779055
Maybe Sakuya's out for a while, so she decides to get you, herself.

>>16778776
Hopefully Remilia. My death screams in English will hopefully catch her interest and she'll let me live as an English-speaking person in this Japanese fantasy land. Maybe I could even apply for a job.

>>16778776
I'd say Suika. If she appears behind me, then most likely she just wants somebody to drink with. Sure, my liver would implode and I won't survive the night, but I'd rather die completely wasted than being eaten alive.

>>16774352
Be thankful my prayers were answered and let my goddess take me.

>>16779436
If that's the case I hope there's some being smugged at involved.

>>16779504
You will never be Remilia's servant.
Remilia will never hold you down and drink your blood everyday.
You will drink a ton, then feed Remilia, making her drunk.
Why even live?

>>16778776
What if I have nanomachines, son?

>>16779585
They'd harden in response to physical trauma.
Youkai can't hurt you.

>>16779762
I already harden in response to physical Trauma. Does this mean I have nanomachines?

>>16779938
You're just a beltway pansy.

>>16779585
You could break the President in two with your bare hands.
Youkai wouldn't be a problem.

>>16779962
The president's an old man. He wouldn't be that hard to beat, disregarding his politics.

>>16779965
Depends on the president. Lincoln was a tough motherfucker and wrestler, for instance.

>>16779585
Maybe Yukari would fall for you?

>>16779991
Oh, well, I meant the current one. And the one before him. And before him. I mean, really, we'd have to go back a while to get to a tough president.
Politicians don't really need to be strong, though.

>>16780020
Nevertheless, possessing enough strength to sever a human body with only your hands is quite impressive. It's still nothing compared to oni, but it would land you firmly in the low-mid tier of the Touhou power scale.

>>16780026
Probably. But I doubt Youkai "wouldn't be a problem."

>>16780026
you can punch explosions, outstrength cyborgs who throw battleship-sized mechs over their head and catch blades that move faster then sound with nanomachines though

>>16774352
Punch her in the face.
A once-in-a-lifetime experience.

>>16774352

Realistically there is nothing you can do to stop her.

Ask for a hug before death, but I doubt she'd go for that.

>>16780956
Realistically, youkai don't exist.

>>16781069
hello batora

>>16774352
Ask her to introduce me to her friend

>>16774352

Hug her.

>>16774352
Ask her to take me to the "American Gensokyo". It would probably be based around Native American stuff which is pretty neat. I wouldn't mind going around solving incidents with a brown loli shaman girl.

>>16774352
Is it really true that she is irish? How do you know?

>>16774435
This

Also hope she will make it painless.

>>16781666
I'd rather go to a British Gensokyo, since I'm primarily British, ancestry-wise, and I'm certain no USA Gensokyo exists.

>>16774352
Whip out my rock hard cock and start masturbating.

Would it be OOC for Yukari to say "Fuck me and call me Maribel!"?

I arrived at my friend's house before he did (assumed) and he texted me saying I could let myself in, so I went in the basement and he jumped from behind a corner, yelling and grabbing me to scare me. I screamed, punched him and immediately broke down crying.
Probably something like that If I was startled.

>>16784482
are you a little girl
who the fuck starts crying because they got surprised

>>16784482
will u b my gf

>>16784501
Yes.
Everyone on /jp/ is a little girl.
>>16784511
Yes.
Let'shold hands!

>>16784482
Friends? What bullshit is this?

Get trained in the art of youkaism

>>16781767
Wrong thread? I don't see OP saying anything about Yukari being Irish, although Lafcadio Hearn was half-Irish and grew up in Ireland so Maribel/Yukari possibly could be as well.

>>16790583
re you Irish?

Take me to your magical realm! I wish to garden with the ghosts!

Call the moon niggers to come save me and when they get done saving me I will go back to making fun of moonfags online while posting pictures of them getting shot by nasa.

>>16774352
[X] Genuflect

Ask why she wants to abduct me.
I will only go if I know for a fact that I won't be killed and/or eaten at all.

Otherwise, I'll just tell her to fuck off.
If she gaps me in anyway, I'll do whatever it takes to fight my way out of Gensokyo. I might end up dying in the process, but if I don't, then I will have made it back home.

>>16774352
genuflect.

>>16774352
Aaaaaa! Please don't eat me!

>>16779532

FUCK

Normally I laugh at these... but goddamn

>>16774352
Expect the worse and hope for the best.

You awake and find yourself in this situation.
What do?

>>16806960
Assume I'm dreaming and greet her as if absolutely nothing is wrong or strange

>>16806960
Check to see if I'm Yuyuko now.

>>16807469
>Yuyuko
I think you mean Reimu.

>>16806960
Spaghetti.

>>16806960
Cry because my anus was destroyed by her huge futa dong

I think i would die because of an heart attack.

I FUCKING KICK HER PUSSY

>>16806960
[X] Head pat BBA

>>16806960
Run.

>>16806960
Looks like my suicide wasn't fucked up or ruined by anyone, and I finally made it to Gensokyo.

>>16774352
I'd be afraid since in the written works it's speculated she abducts losers from the real world to fuel the youkai supply of food.

>>16808916
Do you not want to feed Flan? Do you want Flan to starve?

>>16808941
I fine with entire universes starving to death if it's because they didn't get to eat me. No one is entitled to my corpse.

>>16808951
And you're entitled to killing Flan? You murderer!
I will have my personal squad of /jp/sies on your tail immediately, if you don't apologize!
1!
2!
2 and a half!

>>16806960
I can think of a few things that I might do.

But I know one thing for certain. Immediately upon waking, the following would start playing in the back of my mind:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1wg1DNHbNU

>>16808954
I mean, you were planing to kill me anyway, I don't see the difference except that I'd likely have a much easier time fending off /jp/sies than Flan, no offense.

>>16809017
Oh, we won't kill you, we'll cook you up and offer you to our lord and savior, Flan!

>>16808965
elaborate pls

Ask for paizuri.

Ask to suck her dick.

>>16809208
THIS IS NOT MY BEAUTIFUL HOUSE
THIS IS NOT MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE

>>16811203
translate it weebs

>>16774352
Leap in righteous fury and scream DEUS VULT at the top of my lungs till only one is left standing.

>>16809026
Not if I eat you first. You did violate the NAP after all.

>>16811605
You did first.

>>16774352
Why would she even bother tho

>>16806960
Ask her if she finally fixed my boundary of joy and missery.

>>16774352
I'd be moved to tears by the implication that the supernatural and afterlife exist.
Doesn't matter what happens to me then, it'll be better than the unending void of not existing.

>>16781069
If that lets you sleep at night then keep telling yourself that.

>>16826817
I'm sorry for the things that happened in your life to make you feel that way. I know how I must sound like, but I hope that you are able to find that there is meaning in your life. Whether it is acknowledging an afterlife exists or something else, I wish you're able to find it. Because, I think you are very important.

>>16827003
Well, thank you random internet person.
While I think you read a bit too far into my words (since who doesn't wish there was something more than nonexistence?), I will agree that life has sucked.
Three decades and the pain and isolation only seem to keep piling on.

Personally, I would suspect that I am full schizo/dreaming until I get some evidence from her.

I don't mind if that is taken as a cue to mess me up or whatever, I would rather that happen than accidently pledge undying allegiance to a gas leak or mirage.


>>16827014
>>16827003
I feel you two.

I keep forgetting that isekai has been a thing on /jp/ far longer than it has been on /a/.

>>16829769
We just want to go to Heaven, man.

>>16774352

Beg her to take me to see Yuuka so I could at least see the love of my life before I died.

>>16806960

Get angry because of the above.

>>16774352
"Why is there a cute 17 year old in my house?"

>>16836247
She'll have you know that flattery will get you everywhere with her!

>>16836305
Thank you YIDF.

>>16774352
Call Renko to tell her friend to stop harassing me.

>>16836350
You're welcome.

>>16774352
Realistically, what COULD you do?

>>16836247
>>16836305
Would playing this make Yukari happy?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEWnHg0Z6lk

>>16847810
Ignore, disbelieve, keep playing games.
It's shaped by belief, it's in a hostile environment and is right next to a "you don't even register and thus you might as well not exist" generator.
Is like a trip to Chernobyl's Elephant Foot while wearing a t-shirt and denim

>>16851081
If you saw her approach you, then you would disbelief, you'd just be scared shitless and proceed to be eaten like the lil bitch you are.

Is there a doujinshi of this? It doesn't need to be ero.

>>16774352
Come and get me, bitch.

>>16851216
I saw worse things during a LSD trip. I'll just write it off as "oh, great, the residual brain damage is acting up again"

>>16774352
Honestly, honestly, I'd tell her to shut the fuck up and then kiss her and maybe sex.

>>16774352
Let her.

I assume I won't die because she only gaps people secretly for the most part, not out in the open, and if she gaps you in secret it's because you're suicidal or a criminal and I am neither.

So, I assume I'll get a very wild Gensokyo adventure out of this.

[x] Genuflect

try to bash my head agaisnt my desk.
my worst fear is to be eaten.

>>16851081
Nameless One, please go, that "you don't exist" speech works only in Sigil

>>16774352
Shout Allahu Akbar and blow myself up.

>>16774352
... why are you asking?
testing the waters to see how we'd react, are you?
if you're so curious as to what i'd do if a very cute 17 year old girl gapped infront of me then maybe you should just do it

>>16806960
Wonder why she's in my house and then execute project "Eat all the eggs" to win her heart

>>16867556
Literal /v/ meme. But I approve

Ask her to get in the car.

>>16811203
>>16811494
Yukari: Who would've thought that a rift in the boundary would occur inside a lantern... You should've told me earlier about something like that, Reimu.

Reimu: Y-You're at fault for not noticing it either, Yukari!

Yukari: W-Well.. Let's put that aside for now... You're not stealing the stuff coming from the outside world through that rift, are you?

Reimu: O-Of course, I wouldn't do anyway like that!

Yukari: Really? Good then...

(Yukari thinking): I thought the loads of erotic goods I stocked up from the outside world leaked out of the lantern too... But if Reimu finds out about them, she would definitely scold me about it. Better keep it a secret...

(Reimu thinking): It's a pity that the rift is going to be mended... But the things I looted are still things, and I'd be embarrassed to death if she finds out... Better keep it a secret...

Probably smack her and if she kept trying.... Well.... I conceal carry so I may be pushed enough to shoot her and she would then die because she is real.

Last resort I mean. I'm sure I would try and beat the shit out of her first. But if she went after my firearm...

Goodbye weird ass looking girl.

>>16774352
Princess-carry her and spin!

>>16878324
Thanks translationfag.

>>16774352
Offer to create a worship cult of /jp/sies so that she can roam about the outside world freely.

>>16878392
Shooting, cutting, stabbing, and punching her does nothing. You would be fucked no matter how you twisted it.

>>16878392
>you shoot at her
>she opens a border and the bullets disappear inside
>she opens another behind you
Congrats, you just suicided by a double tap to the back of the head, execution style. Even the Clintons would be jealous of such a perfect """suicide"""

>>16878764
Not gunposter, but throw Berserk manga. If she portals it will probably be to Gensokyo, where some human might get inspired. If not book to the head.

>>16878426
You're welcome ze~

I want to go to Makai, Yukari.

>>16878528
You're welcome ze~

>>16878324
Thanks weeb

>Average human
>average human strength

>Gap youkai
>Can basically warp reality
>Beyond Galaxy level, maybe up to fucking universe level

You don't stand a chance.

>>16878764
>>16881145
Who quote?

>>16881249
Not them, but please don't pull this silly meme now.

Cum on her massive tits

Assuming I'm not immediately killed I'd go find Sanae, Keine and Miko and get this race war started already.

>>16774352
Ask her for a handjob with those insanely silky gloves of hers.

Act like I'm the one who kidnapped her.

Welcome, time-spanned soul!

>>16806960
Ask her if she's Maribel.

I want Maribel!

>>16881914
Don't forget about Fujiwara and Marisa.

>>16882004
She would love it.

Very beautiful pic!

>>16882323
You think so?

Yeah, that's one of my favorite pics. There's another really nice one where she's wearing a purple kimono along with her gloves, but I can never find it when I want to post it and I always forget to save it.

The only things I want in life is to cum in Yukari's tits and have her handle me with her silky gloves

>>16882664
Me too, Anon, me too.

>>16882517 here
Found it!

>>16882517 here
Found it! I like how the artist used a grain filter on the gloves and kimono. Makes them look like silk or satin.

Happy gappy!

>>16774352
Genuflect

>>16885189
>>16885199
You can't hide from me.

I have a knife on my window sill beside my PC.

>>16897139
Please don't bully me...

>>16898266
If I promise to stop bullying you, will you let me hug you, instead?

>>16806960
Ask her to repeat her Boundary Between Gay and Straight with her huge futa dick and balls from last night.

>>16907665
Oh? O-okay, then...

>>16774352
Realistically, there really isn't anything you can do. She'll succeed in abducting you one way or another. however that being said, it's the struggle that makes things like that enjoyable. Plus, Yukari is my favorite 2hu so since it's her I wouldn't mind.

>>16774352
I don't want to die or get eaten, but what can I do?
"Ma'am please leave me alone, thank you."

>>16774352
Ask her to hurt me.

>>16774352
Show her the video of Rick Astley's song.

>>16914273
Which one? He had multiple.

>>16914381
Probably this one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

Old meme, I know.

>>16774352
start peeing on her until she leaves

>>16914406
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nb4ozFlM-g

>>16914431
>0:43
Wasted. Should've done the full MV.

>>16910993
Same really

>>16774352
Use Cross Sign "Power of Christ"

>>16915817
She's not Satan!

>>16774352

>>16923437
Yes she is.

I mean, realistically, is there anything that I could to stop her? The smart thing to do is just to let it happen and ask her not to eat me.

>>16925275
Try to engage her in intellectual discussion.
What topics do you bring up to make her interested in you?

>>16923437
But she is sort of a demon...

>>16925295
My interest in older women.

>>16774361
Please eat me Yukarin!

>>16925275
>>16925295
I think most people would have better luck convincing her she'd be better off keeping them alive as a minion/pet/plaything than they would by trying to stimulate her curiosity. I see that attempt not changing anything except maybe giving her something to investigate days down the road when she gets bored.

>>16925371
If I offered to work as a butler/groundskeeper, or something, for her, as long as she could guarantee that I wouldn't die or be seriously hurt, do you think she'd agree?

>>16774352
Give Grandma a awkward hug, stare at the ground for a few seconds and then say something like "I'm f-fine. How are you?". Then I would probably pace around nervously and attempt to explain why I don't have a job. After that, I might do some menial chores for her and then feel really guilty when she overpays.

>>16925295
I show her my collection of old computers such as the SWTPC 6800 and Altair 8800 and discuss early computing technology with her. I happen to like ``matured computers'' (wink wink), so maybe she can go into detail about Ran with me.

After that, I segue into discussion of the mathematical work of Konrad Zuse, the creator of the world's first programmable computer, and inquire about her knowledge of his essay ``Calculating Space'' and how it could possibly relate to her powers and Gensokyo as a whole.

Maybe she will fill me in before raping/eating me

Ask he if she's ever experienced human dick before. When she says no, offer her, because what's the harm in trying it if she's going to kill me anyway? Might as well rape me too. Then, make her orgasm 10 times with my superior human penis, and have her forget all about killing me!

>>16927912
I bought a pair of Commodore 64 computers with money from Grandma. They both died and I completely took them apart and sold the pieces on eBay. Am I in trouble?

>>16774352
Whip out my dick.

2hus are weak to fat, swarthy men with thick cocks.

>>16927960

>>16774352
>comply
>cook the Yakumos an amazing meal
>they let me stay as a servant
>study Yukari's gap-making powers
>exploit the mechanics behind it and construct a weapon that could allow me to manipulate space
>help Yukari-sama take over Gensokyou
>marry Ran

>>16928184
implying yukari doesn't already rule gensokyo

>>16928395
New objective will then to kidnap Reimu and make her into a rape pet for Yukari

Look at what she did to Kozusu!
Regular slapstick genius!

>>16927912
Sound like you love to have fun, which is pretty cool.

I'd like to ask you if you have read SICP. If not, just type that in Google and click on the first result. You're gonna have a lot of fun with it.

>>16925295
Explain quantum gravity to her and how her gaps can be described with wormholes and that she must gain weight every time she uses her power since she has to expunge exotic particles with negative mass off of her body in order to keep the gaps open but conservation of mass means that she must be gaining mass by doing so.

>>16930634
Hole in your theory friend, thanks to our old friend Einstein. If the extraneous mass is converted to manipulable energy, it would just make Yukari hella powerful. And Yukari is indeed hella powerful.

What a fool you are. I'm a god, how can you abduct a god? What a grand and intoxicating innocence. How could you be so naive? There is no escape. No recall or intervention can work in this place. Come, lay down your gaps, it is not too late for my mercy.

>>16936070
That's what she wants you to think.

>>16936070
>>16936505
Show down between Yukari and Kanako? I'd watch that.

I'm cheering for Yukari of course.

Post the yucurry yukmo one.

>>16942139
This one?

>>16942242
>Yuckmo

>>16942242
Yes! Thanks!

>>16942251
Why isn't her name Chen Yakumo?

I don't like just "Chen"

>>16942491
One earns the last name Yakumo, you don't just inherit it.

>>16774352

But if this happened, how would you explain Zun to her?

>>16949332
Zun's works are based on stories told to him by Yukari, with creative liberties taken to support the gameplay.

>>16774352
Ask her to send me Flandre's room so she can eat me fresh and I get to squeeze her butt while she drains the life out of me

What do I do if Yukari comes into my room every night and reads scary stories until I can't sleep?

>>16950137
Wow anon
just Wow.

>>16774352
ask her to spare me, and shikigami me like ran or chen. Or turn me into a yokai

>>16781436
ask her to let me become like youmu

>>16806960
be happy and make babies.

>>16950137
What the h*ck? Are you some kind of paedophile?

>>16925295
tell her i wanna be her plaything and another kitsune like ran, and i could be happy in gensokyo if i could have fluffy kitsune tails of my own and would do whatever she wanted.

>>16774352
Fuck her sideways. A five hour marathon and then share some snacks.

>>16806960
I'd wonder how I managed to get into her bed. Then be a little upset since I like Reimu more.

>>16958773

>>16958651
ya

>>16958955
Why is she in the toilet?

>>16964916
Why not?

>>16774352

Tell her to eat my semen instead.

Convince her to let me be her semen slave instead of eating me

have her gap me and make me into alice

>What a fool you are to try and confront the apprentice of wizard order of Nine Thousand and One Automaton. You are just a helpless semen demon in front of my arcane art! Pay the price for your hubris! Be gone, you female!
Then I unleash a wave of concentrated depression and misogyny, effectively obliterating her yay. Then we just kind of sit there, sulking. Then she awkwardly leaves, and I feel sad for sperging like an autist and making a pretty girl sad. Maybe she wanted to stretch a friendship hand? Then I read a doujin about friendiship between my favorite 2hus and feel like shit.

Use my leet agility to teleport behind her and make her go kyaa!

>>16968356
I'm not sure, Anon. That sounds like something personnel.

>>16965009
Lewdkari

Absolutely.

>>16974663

turn me into nukebirb :3

What if she took you and made you her manservant, to pretend to be Chen's shikigami?

What animal-spirit-thing do you think she'd turn you into?

>>16975145
A fish, since foxes eat cats and cats eat fish

>>16975145
A dog, so she can look down on you.

>>16975277
Wouldn't a mouse be better?

>>16778776
I'd hope it would be Reimu instead of a man-eating youkai.

>>16976240
Chen loves fish tho

>>16778841

>>16981391
The fuck is this?

>>16983861
vore

>That's a violation of my NAP, m'lady.
>*teleport behind her*

>>16983995
Why is this a thing?!

>>16983861
Real question is where is that Youkari from, I feel like i've seen it before.

>>16981391
>>16983995
I'm disgusted, but also curious.

>>16984062
nobody knows
>>16984175
https://e-hentai.org/g/951265/60f8881ca7/
https://e-hentai.org/g/984910/85616f4075/

>>16981391
>>16983995
>>16984175
>>16984226

>>16984226
Why?

greet my wife and ask her about her day.

>>16986336
vore$ -scat$ -guro$ should do for starting people, try looking it at ehentai

>>16986336
vore$ -scat$ -guro$ should do for starting people, try looking it at ehentai

>>16987210
Never. You won't make me fall that low.
Lolicon doujinshi, comfort me!

>>16987121
I don't remember making this post.

>>16987229
sure

>>16984226
Now I'm just disgusted.

>>16774352
Scream in futile terror.

>>16987210
>>16987247
What is this shit? This ain't Attack on titan.

>>16774352

>>16993100
Did I do that?

>>16992349

>>16774352
Fuck gensokyo Fortune teller was right.

>>16993284
god i wish that were me

>>16993312
and this

>mfw the gap hag appears

Try to get that axe handle I"m keeping behind bed and smack her back to hell.

>>17001425

If she into hardcore tickling then leap into her breasts and pledge my undying loyalty.

>Oh my, you like feet? What an interesting human.

>>17003700
This! As long as I'm getting tickled by both Yukarin and Ran and there's lots of verbal teasing!

>>17004129
Liking feet certainly doesn't make you interesting.

>>17004129
Feet? Not particularly. Femdom involving feet? Very much so.

Speaking of Yukari and tickling...

Lewd

>>16774512
Too bad kappas are too fickle to work with. Striking a deal with them and mass producing ARs would've been nice.

>>17001683
You really think a piece of wood will stop a gapheg?

>>17005170

Yukari's thread is dying!

>>17012819
A gap is a hole
A hole can be closed by bridging it with a piece of wood (like a plank)
A axe handle is a piece of wood
Then the axe handle can be used to bridge/close the gap.

Think like you were in Sigil, belief is power, belief is reality itself.