/jp/ - Otaku Culture

She will be a Christmas cake, soon. No one want to marry a Christmas cake.

>>15423640
Lack of any males willing to do it with her,

>>15423640
>when is she getting married?
She'll never marry, Yukari will gap semen inside of her womb and create a new shrine maiden.

>>15423722
What if Marisa is a guy?

>>15423730
So next hakurei is literly jesus?

>time in gensokyo passes at the same rate it passes irl

No, not really.

>>15423640
Is that zicai tang?

>>15423965
Your secondary headcanon has no place in this discussion.

From the 60-year Cycle incident, to the Occult Ball incident, to the Lunarians' reactions to Apollo and Chang'e and more, it's thoroughly clear that Gensoukou's timeline runs in lockstep with the outside world's. And why wouldn't it? There has never been any indication to that effect. The barrier affects space and perception, not the flow of time. There seem to be anachronisms and such because Gensoukou was fully sealed off from the outside world back in the Meiji era.

>>15424013
Your common sense has no place in Gensokyo.

>>15424023
Sanae plz go

>>15424006
artist is tagged as as119 on gelbooru, soo i guess its just a parody.

>>15423937
Yep, Reimu born in the same way too.

How do we know that Hakurei Miko is bloodline? Maybe after she dies, Yukari finds some talented girl in human village to take role of Miko.

>>15424122
That's possible, but remember, Reimu didn't even meet Yukari until 2004. Yukari has always been more about manipulating things behind the scenes than taking direct action, with a few exceptions. It seems more likely that Reimu would find and train a successor herself. Of course, if Reimu were to unexpectedly die, Yukari does seem like the one most likely to arrange a new miko through some means.

Reimu is a dyke.

>>15424308
Dykes can have childs too.

>>15424364
>Thinking Reimu will let any dick inside or even near her.

>>15424390
Rinnosuke will probably be the father. Doesn't hurt to have a 1/4th youkai baby.

>>15424390
>implying Yukari can't make it so she can have a child with other woman

>>15424413
Well, first off you need semen.

>>15424415
modern science found ways around it, why wouldn't yukari?

>>15424390
>Thinking Reimu will recognize a dick if she ever sees one

'W- whats that thing you got down there anon?'

>>15424425
>Modern science
>Gensokyo
Pick one.

>>15424013
>implying ZUN won't pull some bullshit to keep their lolis forever lolis.

or, he will introduce Reimu's and Marisa's daughter, the next heir of the Hakurei.

>>15423712
Speak for yourself.

>>15424648
She'll look defective as well.

>>15424648
>Reimu's and Marisa's daughter
Stop right there.

Who says it will be Marisa? Why not Yukari? Why not Remilia? Why not some random human girl from the village?

>>15424692
>new manga and games with marisa's daughter, reimu's daughter as protagonists.

No one disappears because most girls are youkai, and aqn will be her next version

>>15424725
The Child of Miare spends about 100 years working in the afterlife before they can reincarnate again. By the time Ajuu pops out, Reimu Jr. and Marisa Jr. will be old hags.

>>15424056
>parody
So you don't know about as109? What a pure soul you are. I envy you.

>>15424766
oh boy
another one falls down the rabbit hole

>>15424056
Couldn't see it on the small screen, but you're right, it's unmistakeably him.
Off into the garbage bin.

>>15424109
What if Yukari gets the semen from the outside world, meaning YOUR semen?

Marisa will impregnate Reimu AND take responsibility!

>>15424863
Hahahahaha your funny.

>>15424056
Is it just me or does AS109 no longer draw these kind of nice pictures?
Its all either rape or guro.

I'm going to make a woman out of Reimu.

>>15424884
And she doesn't want to come even close to creep like you.

>>15424888
You don't know me, Super Adolf.

>>15424888
Yurifags are the worst.

I wonder. What kind of partner would Reimu prefer? Someone strong-willed who will sweep her from her feet? Or someone who is level-headed and serious? Or someone weak-minded who will just laze and drink around with her?

>>15424888
what is drug rape.

She doesn't want to, so she won't.

>>15424903
Why did you immediately assume he was a Yurifag? Are you ban-evading again, Mr. Anti-Yuri?

>>15424907
Level-headed and serious, but not autistic levels of serious. Like he can still crack a joke here and there.

>>15424907
Reimu seems to be very pragmatic, but as FS shows, she's not oblivious to romantic notions.
I guess she'd like someone who could woo her - she is a girl, after all - but actual courting might put her off.
She didn't have parents who have shown her what a loving relationships looks like, so she probably doesn't really know what to do, how to behave, or what to expect.
Taking all of that into consideration, the best vector for an outsider would be to first become part of her daily life as a friend, since that concept is not foreign to her, and then teach her intimacy and from there, love.

>>15424408
desu even genjii had a better chance than the BIG NERD

>>15424983
Well, duh. Genji's legit.

>>15424998
I want this to be canon.

I also miss the creepily enthusiastic old Reimu

>>15425018
Old Reimu was cute as heck.

>>15425070
Who could say no to a face like that?

>>15424831
But that's as109 you dumdum

>>15424843
Then the next Shrine maiden could be brown.

>>15423712
>No one want to marry a Christmas cake
I want to marry a christmas cake.

>>15423640
Never. You don't get born in the Hakurei name,You get adopted into it.

Reimu will get old and train the successor Yukari gaps in.

>>15426015
I doubt middleman: the youkai would bother training anything, they'll just pull Genji of retirement and put her in the PC98 simulation again.

>>15425911
Anon you'd marry anyone.

>>15426069
Wrong, you can only marry once so you have to make the correct choice.

>>15426042
No.... That's plan B. Used in the event the current Miko falls in combat.

>>15424998
>TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA GENJI
>TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA GENJI
>TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA GENJI
>OTHER LYRICS GO HERE.
>GENJI POWER.

Someday, Yukari will spirit away men to give them handjobs before turning them into youkai food.
Then she will gap all the sperm directly inside Reimu's womb, without her consent.

>>15426015
FUCK OFF SEIGA
FUCK OFF
FUCK
U
C
K
OFF
F
F
EAT SHIT AND DIE

>>15424648
>implying that reimu ans marisa aren't become a hermit
the "eternal shrine maiden" isn't for nothing

>>15426730
>and
fixed

>>15424526
if thats the way you want it
>>15424415
>nature's laws
>gensokyo
pick one. if brooms can fly we might as well get babies from storks.

>>15424725
>protag is reimu and marisa's daughter
>her rival is alice
>3rd option is Sakuya and Sanae's hate child

>>15423640
Touhou will just start over and all the windows game will be regulated to the same status as PC98 games.

>>15424951
>love advice on /jp/
let me check.... nope. the sky is still blue.

>>15425854
or a redhead. than she will truly be the red and white.

>>15426985
Can a soulless ginger become a shrine maiden?

>>15424951
I wonder what would happen if ZUN really introduced a male love interest to each of the main cast.

I for one, would enjoy the world go in flames.

>>15423734
This. there is absolutly no reason to think he isn't just crossdressing.

>>15426967
This
Gensokyo will just reset itself

>>15424998
This. genji got some spunk.

>>15427162
Even better, they are all characters in which the average otaku wouldn't be able to self-insert, and there is at least a nigger

Which 2hu is the most fertile?

>>15428242
Shiki Eiki.

>>15428242
http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Minoriko_Aki

>>15427162
>>15428223
Would there just be more Rinnosuke gay porn or I am overestimating fujoshits?

>>15426688
Well... That's quite rude

>>15429000
WOWOW SEIGA KILL YOURSELF """KUDASAI"""

>>15426688
>>15429079
Do NOT bully the Wicked Hermit!

SEIGA KAKU MORE LIKE SEIGA FUCK YOU

>>15427162
Oh it will be more than just "go in flames", that's for sure.

It'll be an enjoyable show too.

>>15428298
Someplace, somewhere, there are people who ship Kourin with Myouren. So no, you are not overestimating them.

>>15429295
Kourin's butt belongs to Marisa's thick, smelly, unwashed gigantic cock only!!

>>15429587
Tokiko does NOT have two daddies!

>implying reimu won't eventually just become a god herself

>>15430156
Celestial. I don't see Reimu willing to get enshrined and worshiped. She's already on her way to hermitood (since youkai exterminators can easily become one, just by doing their duties) and celestialhood is when a hermit level up.

>>15430180
You fool!
Now I have to jerk off to this!

The Hakurei priestess is always adopted

>>15431179
its a dangarous job and reimu may day any day. why hasn't she adopted someone yet? i want to see a little loli running around in the shrine and learning how to be a miko.

also, i always thought that
miko == shrine maiden != priestess

given how long the hakurei line has existed, a very large portion of Japan is related to Reimu by blood, and quite possibly a sizeable portion of the human village. finding a replacement would be incredibly easy

>>15430629
just this?

REIMU is 14. Do NOT sexualize her. STOP trying to FUCK her JUICY TEEN PUSSY, "PLEASE?" RIGHT?

reimoo is fugly

>>15435460
She is not. She is drunk half of the time in canon.

>>15436097
I like the image of a 14-year-old Reimu being drunk all the time

>>15436165
[citation needed]

>>15436170

>>15424056
my god

shes beautiful.

makes me feel dirty just looking at her.

>>15436206
>PC-98
Not canon.

>>15436223
It is canon, just a different one from the Windows games

My headcanon is that all those with the Hakurei bloodline are naturally repulsive to humans to protect the purity of the bloodline. Whenever a human sees, hears, or thinks of the Hakurei, they are instantly put on edge and want to leave subconsciously. Those who are strong enough to be considered pure by the Hakurei bloodline like Marisa and Sakuya see her just as a normal girl instead of an abomination. Weaker youkai are affected this as well but not the stronger ones. Reimu wears a hair bow and hair tubes to counteract it but to no avail. Because of this and the need of the Hakurei as the current Hakurei weakens, Yukari will select a random child from the outside world, abduct it, and the current Hakurei will fuse her soul to the childs's while Yukari feeds and bathes the child in the Hakurei's blood. The Hakurei blood will replace the child's giving her access to the Hakurei power while the fusion of the soul erases the child's memory and gives her knowledge on how to use the power. None of the Hakurei are related

>>15431762
Is Reimu even really qualified to raise a successor yet? She doesn't even know the name or identity of her own shrine's deity.

>>15436165
but that was in PC-98, we know that a number of seasons have already passed since PC 98.

Dates of various touhou games
PCB: Summer
IN: Fall
PoFV: Spring
MoF: Fall
SA: Winter
UFO: Spring

so she is at least 16

>>15436395
Hakurei are a family of psychic blanks?

>>15436719
Which is assuming that this is even the same continuity as PC98.

>>15436465
The Hakurei are only needed to maintain the border and act as a one-man army. They really aren't required to know that if they can do thier jobs. Also more head canon time, there is no actual god for the Hakurei Shrine. It's just the portion of the previous Hakurei's soul that fused with the current one acting as the god to let what little free will remain with the current iteration

>>15436789
head cannon: the hakurei god is the CURRENT shrine maiden.

>>15436809
This a mod or an edit?

>>15436864
dunno, prob an edit
or a private made mod

>>15436789
>>15436809
The Hakurei god is the barrier itself. He/she transformed into it when Gensokyo was created. Reimu being a shitty miko and not gathering faith means the god-barrier's weakening, which is why so much stuff has slipped through the barrier during her time.

>>15436932
>Reimu negligence brought scientific and cultural advancement to gensokyo
Heh, it balances out.

Tell me about Reimu. If I put it in, would she lose her powers?

>>15424951

>outsider

We don't have any chance scoring her, Yukari would interfere because outsiders is hard to control and predict, unlike villagers in the human village.

>>15436809
I want to pop Reimu's cherry! I'll even pay!

>>15436978
she won't be demeged as much if you merry her beforehand.

>>15437008
Then it's simple. Kill the Yukari.

>>15437065
Koishi is literally perfect for that job.

>>15436719
Actually, there's an official timeline and there's a 10 years gap between EoSD and ULiL

>>15437111
for being the joker or for killing yukari?

Aren't Reimu and Marisa both like 24 years old?

>>15437669
They're eternal 12

>>15437111
You watched too much KKHTA

I am pretty sure if Reimu needed some genetic material for offspring, she would just take it by force, at night, under the threat of being p'chund out of existence.

Reimu ain't got no time for a hubby, unless he's in the kitchen making sandwhiches and mandarins for her, or something.

>>15437159
shit so she's like 24?

>>15437159
Well, while we know time passes parallel to the outside world, there is no indication that the events we see in the games are necessarily happening at the time the games have been released. LoLK may well have taken place several years ago.

>>15438378
No, whenever actual dates show up they're always within a few months at most.

Urban Legend in Limbo (released in 2015) even has Kasen refer to the Great Hakurei Barrier (created in 1885) as "The barrier that has stood for 130 years".

>>15438378
>>15438482
ZUN puts a lot of thought into timelines.

>>15438498
>Sumireko to have descendants
It's like with Reimu needing to having descendants to carry on the Hakurei. What's with people thinking each girl is the last/only member of their family?

>>15438537
reimu's sisters are having little younglings with their hardworking husbands at the village! Reimu cries at night for knowing she'll be barren just like Yukari!

>>15437882
Pretty much,. that's surely the reason why her ZUN portraits have a bigger chest later on, despite the fact that she's wearing a sarashi.

>>15437882
only 1 more year till Christmas cake, then she'll be begging /jp/spies to marry bargin bin women like her

>>15440008
your comments offends me.

1. the whole notion of christmes cake is idiotic. it encourage women to be sluts.
2. if there is something bad about 25 unmarried girl, what can you say about 30 virgin male? whatever you have to say, say it out of /jp/.
3. i feel like you just implied something mean about /jp/iers, but perhaps it was just me?

>>15440197
>2. if there is something bad about 25 unmarried girl, what can you say about 30 virgin male?
They're both long past their sell-by date, is what. There's a reason nobody writes pure love stories featuring heroines or protagonists in that age range (unless maybe the girl is 500+ but looks 12, people inexplicably manage to accept that one.)

>>15440219
the reason is that teenage romance is much more bitter sweet. when love is just new experiance and you aren't all genre sawy about various flags.

im a pedo myself, so i prefer REALLY young girls, but that just mean i only see 'sell-by date' as something normalfags made up. even if she is 40 she can still have kids, even if she is 70 she can still find love. the only real problem about age is the the older you are, higher chances you got corrupted by sociaty and started to believe in normalfag rubbish.

>>15440288
That just means that the sell-by date for you is, like, 14.

>when love is just new experiance and you aren't all genre sawy about various flags.
Someone who has made it to 30 is going to be jaded about romance whether they've actually been in a relationship or not. Obsession with youth and purity isn't something normalfags invented; if anything, society's rejects are even worse in that regard.

Nothing stops people from waiting except that age doesn't make it any easier for a woman to find a partner that they want (men have it a little easier, though the older you get your likelihood of finding a "pure" girl goes way down too). Life kind of sucks like that.

>>15440337
i didn't say purity is something for normalfags. i just said purity is why young romance is more popular.

i know how life works, but thats because real world is filled with normalfags. i don't have to love it or to accept people who endorse it on /jp/.

Yukari will impregnate Reimu when the time is right!

With her big musky daiyoukai cock!

>>15440449
Thank you
you comment made me remember something i didn't know i had forgotten

With my ninja info cards

>>15438561
>reimu's sisters
Still missing the point. Why is everyone so girl focused? Sumireko probably has a brother, Reimu probably has a cousin or uncle or something out there getting laid and carrying on the family name.

>>15440288
>even if she is 40 she can still have kids
At a low chance of conception and a high chance of mutations. Younger girls are more fertile and produce healthy kids. If they didn't get it out 15-25, then they fucked up. They'll have to settle for autistic /jp/s for kids, if they manage to get it out in the time between their 30s and when menopause kicks in.

>even if she is 70 she can still find love.
Men at 70 can still have kids. No one wants to fuck a 70 year old woman.

>>15440219
>(unless maybe the girl is 500+ but looks 12, people inexplicably manage to accept that one.)
Because they have the positives of maturity and a young, fertile body, without any of the downsides. They are the literal meaning of literally perfect women.

>>15440713
>At a low chance of conception and a high chance of mutations
source of that? inb4 satistics, im looking for actual scientific explenation not speculaton that don't factor all the relevant facts.

also fuck != love. you sound less and less like /jp/ and more and more like /pol/.

>>15440723
>satistics
>scientific explenation
>also fuck != love
Christ, dude, if you want to pump Yukari's crusty womb full of your sticky human semen, go ahead. See if we care. Just don't come running back crying when she gives birth to a fucking mutant.

>>15440734
? Yukari is 17, how is she related?
well, she might give out a mutant regardless, cause she is youkai, and she is Yukari, but it doesn't relate to cakes.

>>15440734
>half-youkai babbies aren't CUTE
Look at Rinnosuke. He turned out to be quite the looker. It's no wonder Marisa wants his dick crushing her tiny womb.

>>15440747
Rinnosuke's ability hints at his mother being a youkai somehow tied to knowledge/divination. My bet is that Rinnosuke's mum used to be an encyclopaedia, and his dad's thirst for knowledge went a touch too far, turning said encyclopaedia into a tsukumogami. Then the rest was history.

My point is, Yukari is fucking old, dude.

Holy shit, I've been holding this head canon for so long I can no longer contain it. I'm sorry /jp/, but here it is:

It's a fucking touhou movie that takes place way before HRtP. Its plot focuses around ________ Hakurei, a 3X year old
woman who's close to childbirth, and our protagonist _________, a young man that gets lost in Gensokyo and decides to stay to aid
Ms. Hakurei, meeting each other and sharing meaningful experiences around Gensokyo.

The plot twist is that Ms. Hakurei has lost her 'powers' because she's no longer a virgin, which is justifiable since Gensokyo is disconnected
from the real world, so standard requirements for a Miko are different, and this makes her vulnerable to the troublesome youkai that are mentioned
at some point during the story.

As things get ugly, our protagonist, with the help from a mysterious woman, succeeds in defending Ms. Hakurei from all trouble. Shortly after
succeeding, Ms. Hakurei starts her labour and things get complicated. After a crucial moment, Ms. Hakurei gives birth a girl. Understanding the
situation, our protagonist asks her what her name will be and she responds ''Reimu''. Sharing a last emotional moment, whilst smiling at her
daughter, Ms. Hakurei passes out.

From afar, the mysterious woman murmurs how this outcome was unexpected. Finally, she reveals that the youkai weren't really trying to assassinate
her, but rather, they were trying to make her fall in love.

tl;dr Ms. Hakurei is pregnant and powerless, some youkai try to kill her but our protagonist successfully defends her. She finally gives birth
to her daughter, whom she names Reimu, however shortly after Ms. Hakurei dies from exhaustion. Short hair Yukari explains from afar that
the youkai weren't trying to kill her, but to make her fall in love.

>>15440823
Wow, Reimu's papa is a piece of shit for abandoning her then.

>>15440823
>The plot twist is that Ms. Hakurei has lost her 'powers' because she's no longer a virgin, which is justifiable since Gensokyo is disconnected from the real world, so standard requirements for a Miko are different
I've seen some flimsy reasoning when people justified their headcanon, but this is plain laziness.

>>15436206
I don't recall PC98 ever stating her age, and 14 seems too old for PC98 Reimu.

>>15437707
If he did he wouldn't be saying such things.