/jp/ - Otaku Culture

What's Yoshika's favorite game system? The Seiga Genesis.

Reimu entered Youmu's room one day while she was watching anime. "What'cha watching?" said Reimu. Youmu said, "Yuyuko Hashuko!".

A couple of fairies told a man to kill himself. He replied with, "Die you say? Sir, no"

What's it called when Bigfoot tries to go real low? An Urban Legend in Limbo.

Did you know Mima is popular on the internet? They make a lot of memes about Meme-a.

When Yuuka does a magic spell, she shouts "AlaKazami"

Shameimaru got really irritated one day, so much so that she went "Aya Carumba!"

Why is Momiji so loyal and zealous towards Aya? Because she made the vow "MY LIFE FOR AYA!".

What did Orin say when she saw Utsuho's new power? Oh, coo~

what did nitori say when she saw a kitten?
"CUTEcumber!"

>experimental jokes

Knock knock
Who's there?
Which two
Which two who?
wich 2hu wud u fuck

>>15343928
By experimental, I meant jokes that have a clever or funny idea in them, but where you haven't thought of a good delivery for them yet.

What is Tewi according to Suwako? A ribbit.

>>15343980
Ah okay, I thought you were going to post some avantgarde jokes or something.

What did Chen do when she got scared? She Ran away!

What is Kyouko's favorite search engine? Yahoo!

Why can't Yukari find a job? Because there's a gap in her resume.

these are all shit

>>15343975
I'm gonna improve and steal that one.

Why is Sakuya never late to an appointment? She's always on time!

What does Keine do after watching porn? She erases history.

What's Yukari's preferred clothing store? Old Navy

>>15343738
What did the Mexican Cirno say when she was surprised? Ay carámbano!

Why are cheap electronics and a futa SDM doujinshi similar?
They're both Maid in China

Why does the Yama Write like this aaaaall the time?
>because she has a Sticky a-key

How is Ichirin feeling today? She's on cloud nine!

Have any of you seen the new horror movie starring Cirno? I thought it was chilling.

>>15343975
>>15343993
>>15344036
>>15344101
>>15344120
>>15344211
>>15344280
Made me laugh pretty hard.

>>15344742
Your joke is bad, and you shuld feel bad for even considering it.

>>15344807

>>15345402
What's Kogasa's favorite food? BOOgers!

>>15345445
disgusting

>>15343702
your fuckin life

It's a little heartwarming to see your jokes from last years joke thread to get reposted by others!

What does Suika say when she's in the mood? "Boy am I horny!"

>>15344280
This ones actually pretty clever.

Why did Reisen go to town?
Oh, just to do some Eirins

Someone post the Reimu, Marisa and Sanae one

Hey Kogasa, what's going on?
Oh, nothing Nue

>>15343724
>>15343975
>>15344120
>>15344280
Too good.

That "lame and experiment joke"... just happens to be my wife!

What's Chan'ge's least favorite month?

June-ko

why do the men of the human village like ran?
she's foxy

Why does Ran have eggyolks on her tails? She is eggcellent!

What do you say when an israelite offers you thoughts on philosophy?
fuck off 2kike

I made Tenshi some peach cobbler the other day. Her hat's really messy now.

touhou racism – they all look the same and only tell eachother apart by their accessories

>>15343702

Here's an old joke and overused joke that still makes me laugh.

Why does Sagume never goes to the toilet when she goes to circus ?

Because it's full of clown piss

>>15355851

Knock knock
Who's there?
Koishi
Who?

>>15357509
nice

Knock knock
who's there ?
A
A who ?
Awoo !

>>15345523
best joke itt

What's Cirno's favourite operating system?
Plan9.

why doesn't Cirno like Microsoft?
because they skipped 9.

What does Reisen have for breakfast?
Raisin toast.

What does Mokou have for tea?
Mocha.

Junko is the type of person who hates change.

What's Sagume's favorite search engine?
Gugle.

If Reimu was a cow farmer, what noise would her cows make?
"reimoooo"

>>15357864
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWByXDB0IKw
Awoo whole night!
Awoo whole day!
Awoo the whole night long till you notice me! Awwo! Awoo-awoo-awoo~!

If Chen created her own Linux distribution, what would it be called?

Chentoo!

>>15358922
I like the sound of Debichen better.

All the jerks here probably use Flandora The Explorer, though.

Knock knock
Who's there
Curry
Is that you, curry

Who is Donald Trump's favorite 2hu?

Yukari

Why?

Her ability to control borders

>>15358967
And because of the gap in his tax returns.

Just kidding. Those claims are bullshit, and I like the guy. Just needed material for a crappy joke.

Who is Sagume main in league of legends ?

twisted fate

Which Touhou enjoys the most the French Revolution ?

Sekibanki, cause she don't care about the guillotine.

Which Touhou was born in Azerbaijan ?

Doremy, because the capital is Baku

What does Kaguya have in common with a bicycle?

They both need chains to work.

>>9583450

>>15358947
I actually laughed. Good show, Anon.

If Flandre was stupid and sexy she'd be Flanders

Reimu.

whats funnier then a dead fairy?
a dead fairy in clown costume

>>15360416
NOT COOL

DELETE THIS

>>15360433
What is the difference between a clownpiece and a onion?
No one cries when you chop up a clownpiece.

>>15360439
Rude.

For those who understand French, this one is the lamest I got.

Where does Momiji lives ?

In a pyramid, car c'est là que la Momie gît. (because it's where the Mummy is resting)

/jp/

>>15361693

>>15361693

>>15361693
Tragedy or comedy? You decide!

Eirin has a good reason to sell medicine.

>>15361693
It's a comedy because the characters are better off at the end.
Dead.

>>15361997
That was very mean, please apologize.

>>15362016
I'm completely serious, that's a defining trait for comedy.

>>15360255
HA

>>15361888
Why would Eirin want to sell Medicine, though? It better be a damn good one.

>>15361693
Them's fightin' words.

What is Rinnosuke's favorite TV show?
>Kourin The House

That bucket girl is a pervert.
>Asked for her name, but she said "Kiss me".

What does Reisen say when her favorite food arrived?
>"Udon get!"

What are the rabbits preparing for?
>An all-night par-Tewi.

Stranded on an island without my favorite cat girl.
>I have no Chens to survive.

Clownpiece is interested in Taoism.
>She heard they have a clown prince.

The ferryman of Sanzu River is bad at writing.
>She forgets her comma see?

What is the current Child of Miare's favorite letter?
>A 'Q'.

The Human Village is well guarded.
>They have their own Keine Unit.

What does a Komeiji and good food have in common?
>They are both (K)oishii.

>>15362491
those weren't half-bad

What are Yamame and Kanako's ideal sweet?

山飴.

>>15361845
Comedy
Tragedy entails those one would consider "better off" or "better than you"
Comedy entails those you would consider your "inferior" or "not well off in general."

/jp/ isn't something bad happening to a good person.
It's bad and pathetic things happening to pathetic people

What do you call a gopnik oni?
Суйка [ьлят]

What do you call a gopnik oni?
Суйка [блят]

>>15364588
wwwww

>>15364588
>Суйка [блят]
Проиграл

>>15344120
>>15344280
The only good ones

>>15343702
What do ceramic dishes and a beautiful Meiling have in common?

They're both Fine China

Why did Sanae cross the road?
To fuck the other side of the street!

Why did Sanae cross the road?
To get to the STD clinic!

>>15365983
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Sanae!
Sanae who?
I'm a fucking slut!

>>15358900
Anon, you are wanted for crimes against humanity.

>>15362028
What did Eirin say when got arrested for slave trafficking?

"I'm only selling Medicine!"

>>15365320
meiling is quite fine

pls stop bullying sanae

>>15362557
You're right, they were full-bad.

>>15358900
Thought I will be able to escape but last one got me.

>>15364588
>>15367180
Nice~

>>15367827
This actually made me laugh

A short blonde, a tall blonde, a purplish blonde, and a completely purple are aboard a plane whose engines, landing gear, and pilot were shot down by collateral danmaku bullets. It is equipped with no parachutes. The four look down an open door to jump.

After a moment, the short blonde says, "I will use my power."
She jumps off, and launches a giant energy beam downward to break her fall.
However, her output is too high, causing a gigantic fire beneath her. She tries to dodge by angling her thrust, but it only makes the fire wider. When she lands in the flames, she gets a serious burn on her knee.

The tall blonde scoffs, and says, "I will use my brains."
She jumps off, then launches a hundred dolls into the air around her, all connected to her by string. Each doll puffs out their skirt like a parachute, breaking the fall.
However, near the end of her flight, she decides to show off a danmaku performance. She becomes so focused on it that she forgets about the fire. When a doll touches the flames and causes a chain explosion, she gets a serious burn on her knee.

The purplish blonde nods solemnly, and says, "I will use my spirit."
She jumps off headfirst, after casting a spell that makes her body hard as diamonds.
However, she kicked off the plane a little too hard. Her body bores into the ground, zips through the Underworld, then punches a hole straight through Chireiden. When she plunges into the fires of Old Hell, she gets a serious burn on her knee.

After having seen it all, the purple-head silently jumps off and flies home.

What do you call a slutty hell raven?
Utsu ho.

Yamame so fat, she don't spin thread, she spin rope.

Yamame so fat, she need 8 legs to stand up.

Yamame so fat, she give other people diabetes.

Yamame so fat, she tried to get on her web and got a 413 error.

https://youtu.be/T8iTX4YTLQc

Kero (9) Destiny: Rise of Awoo trailer leaked!

https://youtu.be/T8iTX4YTLQc

>>15374047
Last one got me.

How does Eirin calls her favorite pokémon ?

Hey, Entei !

Why does Sagume always walk backwards ?

Because she does the Moonwalk

>>15383446
You made me smile

>>15362561
I don't understand the kanako part...

>>15344101
This hits to close to home to class as a joke.

>>15389500
Mountain.

>>15390151
What about the candy part? I get Yamame because it's Yama-ame, I don't see any association with Kanako. Even the mountain part is maybe vaguely because she lives on a mountain?

>>15390176
I wouldn't think too deeply about it other than Kanako's association with mountains, that Yama-ame is roughly "mountain candy" and the joke is about sweets.

>>15390191
Kanako doesn't have any other association other than that she lives on a mountain though. That's my entire problem.

>>15390197
Oh wait I understand the ame part now.

>>15390197
Which is why I said not to think too deeply about it.

Why didn't Suika go to Reimu's party last night?
Because she heard they were going to dance until dawn.

A certain hell raven became famous on youkai mountain after causing an incident. Nowadays, this legendary figure is known by many names. The kappa call her "nitori", the crow tengu call her "okuu", but most just call her "u 2ho"

>>15396291
What.

>>15402014
a. 断酒*
b. 二・鳥,　お食う*,　you 2-ho(es)/to・ho*
*a. だんしゅ/ダンス, b. 食う as in 八咫烏を食う / う(u[→ゆう] )・つ(2→ツー)・ほ

>>15364588
I don't understand Russian but somehow I got this.

What do you call Marisa when she wakes up on the wrong side of the bed?
An ornery magician!

Did you see Marisa in that performance last night?
She really stole the show!

What was Marisa's role at the wedding?
The brideshroom![\spoiler]

What's black and white and red all over?
Marisa, after I confess to her!
Because she's blushing and flustered.

What do you call a group of high-tension Japanese gopnik?
они

>>15370231
It's not funny if the punchline is going to be that obvious.

>>15413110
I think "took a burn to the knee" is the real punchline.

>>15413322
Took a burn to the knee isn't a punchline.

>>15413357
It's pretty humorous to me at least. In any case, the thread is about lame jokes.

>>15413475
Sure, but even lame jokes have a limit.
I'm just trying to understand where the humor lies within this joke, as I am having trouble finding any.
And there's nothing wrong with a little criticism. Anon will learn how to make better jokes in the future if he takes it to heart, I think.

>>15413503
The humor lies in people like you not getting it

What is Shrek's favorite shooting game?

eXceed 3rd

>>15426810
But that's the best one, way better than !Ikaruga.