/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>1471874
The cat is having sex with the person in the image.

>>1471988

>>1471988
Sup' Freud.

Aww, that's adorable.

I fapped to this scene several times.

>>1471787
...wut?

Source?

What the fuck is this shit

Seto no Hanayome

>>1471808

Seto no Hanayome

I'd rub my penis all over her.

>>1472014
Lemme talk to you mother!

>>1472014
Hm, faggot really doesn't seem to have much of an effect anymore. At least, not over the internet. Then again, insults over the internet should never be taken seriously. Of course, I find it funny that a person who derails a thread so that he can speak about meta concerns feels he's in the position to badmouth anyone. You're a silly faggot.

Seto no Hanayome

>>1471836
>>1471826
>>1471822
Which episode? I don't feel like watching that anime now. Thank you

>>1471844

Watch it all, it's really good.

>>1471844
Just fucking watch it, it is worth your time.

>>1471844

14, although >>1471849
is right.

Seto no Hanayome sucks.

I watched about two minutes of the first episode and even I know that!

>>1471861
Stop smoking shit.

>>1471787
Cats have a barbed penis.

Looks painful.

>>1471867
What? What do cat penises have to do with this?

>>1471874
I donno lol.

>>1471882
...you lost me.

>>1471882
Whoa, whoa. Wait a second. I'm sorry, I don't think I quite follow you here.

>>1471882
First of all...how the hell that can be a CAT?

>>1471882
You're going too fast, I don't understand

>>1471903
It's white, has pointy ears, a tail, and whiskers. Obviously a cat.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpi47qMAPt8

CHOCO BANANA! OH GRATES!

>>1471910
Anyone got that picture of Nagasumi about to eat a chocolate pistol?

>>1472134
Hey...now, now...the first step is to admit you don't have any consueling, because in the first place, you ever had anymore since long, long ago.
That's why you keep recurring to zoos, and such things...

>>1471910
>oh grates

lol wat

>>1472201

Who opened the portal between /a/ and us?

Okay:

-Those who questioned ``the fuck this was``, or disliked this, are newfags, trolls, or they're simply faggots, but with bad tastes.
-Those that said this was ''adorable'', those who gave source without punctualization, those who think that everything feline should be a cat by usual attributes, and those who fapped to this scene before, are beastfags, and they must be fapping to it right now, possibly refapping.
I must congratulate them because they make this board better and better everyday, but I swear they have to control they urgues to think of barbed penises and things like that.
- >>1471829 this is the only straight man on /jp/ at the moment, excluding the beastfags, all others are faggots.
TL; DR: /jp/ is full of newfags and faggots.

Discuss.

>>1471787
/r/ing gif.

>>1471988
No anon, you are the faggots.

I can't look at an image from a random anime episode and say that is that anime and it is that episode

>>1471988
(σ･∀･)σ

>>1471992
>/jp/ is full of newfags and faggots.
And AIDS that tries to infect you.

>>1471988
Where've you been? We don't really need an analysis on what we've already known for months.

I'd be a beast on top of her if you know what I mean.

>>1472010
Sure, but I'm proving which group is the cancer, who are the newfags, and who is the faggot, and which not, which you tend to skip anytime you wish to.
Faggot.

/a/ is that way
<----------------

Wow, this show is not funny. What a culture shock....

>>1471988
Relax.

SAGE 4 FAGZ

>>1472027
What.
I don't know what you're babbling about, but my point is that you're a faggot.
As in gay.
You're gay, sir.

>>1472039
Don't do it.

>>1472042
When you wanその目だれの目？その目だれの目？その目だれの目？

This thread is indeed of an homosexual nature.

>>1472042
>I don't know
Then I guess this conversation is over. I hope you have a good day.

>>1472056
Oh, hey, su
>good day
No sir, I won't.

>>1472076

Sir...can I ask you a single question?
Why are you so interested in affirmating that cats do have barbed penises?

/jp/ - Freud's /blog/.
Serious business.

>>1471997
need source of this

>Well I feel that this is basic knowledge all lurkers of /jp/ should know at one point in their life

Sir, you are indeed needing ''special treatment'', if you know what I mean.

>>1472373

>I'm afraid I don't follow you, sir.
Yes, yes..at first, you can't follow my treatments.
By the way, you have any sister?

what a kawaii morning

43 and never had sex with a human. Had sex with a dog and a horse. But never a human

I love Luna.

>>1472213
...and you keep posting that.
Why.

>>1472220
Why.

I think someone requested this?

>>1472230

Apparently you did, seen you posting there.

Where is the mod.

>>1472290
That's not /a/, that's Kohaku.

Hey /b inverted with a j(OH WAIT, no janitor, not even mods, I am intrigued, why the j?! HAHA!)/.
I'm done being an amusing dick, today's party was awesome...my birthday was yesterday, and I decided to shitpost for the giggles.
Thank you for the amusement, kind faggots.

By the way, I didn't post any shit after my Freudian Thread, seems like IRCfags & /a/tards decided to imitate my doings, probably other /b/tards.

>>1472342
Derp.

>>1472342
tl note kohaku means amber

>>1472366
BUT IF KOHAKU MEANS AMBER THAN WHAT DOES DOORI MEAN?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK

>>1472373
It's "Just according to Amber," you flaming retard.

>>1472373
KOHAKU DOORI

Successfull troll...

>>1472420
ROSSIUUUUUU

Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body. There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time.

>>1472420
o_O

>>1472420
WHAT THE FUCK

>>1472447
A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship.

>>1472420
When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don't like dolphins enough... so I cannot say for sure if it is safe to mate with them. I would suspect not, due to a dolphins size, but then again, I cannot say for a woman.) WARNING! In the considerations of safety, you should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can come as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death. Unless you are the masochistic type, you will have a hard time explaining your predicament to the doctors in the emergency ward....

>>1472420
>>1472447
>>1472451
This is both weird and sad even for 4chan standards. O_o

>>1472451
>>1472447
>>1472420
Sage.

This thread was about barbed cat penises, not dolphins. Take your kiddy Marine-land shit elsewhere.

SO MANY NEWFRIENDS
SO LITTLE TIME

/jp/ - Dolphin sex
For some reason, my dick got hard while I was reading >>1472420. I feel dirty.

>>1472513
>For some reason, my dick got hard while I was reading >>1472420. I feel dirty.

Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited. Don't be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalisation.

I want to have sex with San in the water while she's a mermaid.

>>1472530
You are now replacing the word dolphin with San in your head. Manually.

I was quite happily swimming around with the dolphins when she suddenly decided to grab my foot with her genital slit. Dolphins have very muscular vaginal orifices, and can use these muscles to manipulate objects and carry them. I stayed still for a while, to see if she was just playing, but she continued to masturbate against my foot, and in the light of the torch I sometimes carry, I could see that her slit had become very pink and had swelled as well. She was aroused!

So, I started to back-paddle with my hands towards a small beached area, partially submerged in the water. A couple of times she pulled me forward into the deeper water, but eventually I got my self to the shallows. I dislodged my foot (Being careful not to pull too hard), and took her gently by a pectoral fin and rubbed her belly just to aclimatize her, I guess. She immediately rolled belly up and started doing pelvic thrusts against the palm of my hand. It was unmistakebly erotic, and by now I was fully aroused.

I stripped off my shorts, and gently pulled her into the shallows until she was lying on her side, her belly facing towards me, half submerged in the water. I nestled myself belly to belly against her, and pressed my member against her genital slit. She immediately arched her body against mine, and took me inside her body, initiating a quick series of muscular contractions with her vaginal muscles. I wrapped my left arm around her body and just held her close while she manipulated me inside her body, until I climaxed barely 2 minutes later. Surprisingly, her body also shuddered against mine, and we spent the next 5 or so minutes just lying together in the shallows, holding each other, enjoying our company and revelling in the fact that we had shared something special together, something very few people can claim to have done.

>>1472540
>>1472522
Dude, you're seriously starting to creep me out.

>>1472542
You're 1 hour too late. I already downloaded the episode and fapped. Though it would be cool if someone could shop a pen0s into that gif.

>>1472553
Question: Where can I find a dolphin to mate with?

Answer: Aquariums are a bad choice, for many reasons. Too public, the dolphins are not in their natural habitat, night visits are impossible, etc etc... some may have external enclosures, which may be accesable, but that is no guarantee. Best thing sometimes is to find a beach or a cove that the dolphins frequent. It takes time to develop a relationship with a dolphin to the point where they will let you mate with them (although some have been as quick as 3 days to acclimatize). Gaining their trust takes time, and you need to visit frequently. This is impossible for some people, I understand, but it is the best way. Sometimes you just need to be in the right place at the right time. I have been extremely lucky on two occasions with wild dolphins, and my current mate is a dolphin who lives in the harbour of my resident city.

Well, I hope this is of use to whoever is interested. One final note. You should love a dolphin, not because of the sexual relief they can provide, but because they are a unique animal, one of the few wild animals that seek the company of man by their own initiative. This is special. Do not abuse it.

>>1472540
>>1472420
shit why can't human women do this?

>>1472564
Because they're filthy whores.

fapping in a bestiality thread

>>1472736
It's not bestiality. It's zoophilia.

Zoophilia is best described as a love of animals so intimate that the person (and the animal) involved have no objections to expressing their affection for each other in the sexual fashion. This is not to be confused with bestiality, where a person forcefully mates an animal, without their consent, and with no mutual feelings whatsoever. This is something that I would never do to a dolphin, since I love them dearly, and treat them with the same respect that an honest husband would have for his wife and children.

>>1472793
I fucked a dog. A horse and got fucked by a dog up the ass as well as sucked it off (But not in that order). Feel the love.

Dog x loli is the best possible combination.

>>1472793
Dolphin fucker.