/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Maids are olev

Roar

>>14375770
Neat.

Milk and cookies before bed to help you sleep!

What happened to the last thread? Don't see it in the archive.

>>14375761
True

>>14375786
Eh? I see the cookie, but where's the milk?

>>14375788
Board equivalent of amphetamines.

Why is there so little ant lion girls?

>week end is almost here.
>monster hunter marathon in the afternoon
>having curry for dinner

all I need is a salamander and the friday will be gold!

>>14375791
Just say 'ahhh' and and you'll get it, nice and warm.

>>14375799
>Those corpses
Oh fuck that.

>>14375790
I'd trade my sanity for some Shoggoth shagging.

>>14375816
Are you saying you wouldn't want to go into Myrmeleo's hole?

Wife slimes are love

>Inside building, sun is out.
>Outside building, heavy rain.
>Been like this all week.
I'm on to her

>>14375824
No thanks, I like living.

>>14375819
hey remember when mind breaking was a shit storm?

>>14375832
But she has heart pupils! Look how cute she is!

>>14375790
Could a Shoggoth grow legs and extra arms?

>>14375833
Every thing is a shitstorm if the right people see it.

>>14375809
As much as the idea of a squishy Holst holding my head in her lap, gnetly stroking my hair as she squeezes a stream of milk from her nipple into my mouth makes me diamonds, I'd much rather take it for myself straight from the tap. After working up a good flow with vigorous breast molestation.

>>14375837
Don't make me post that scene from Army of Darkness you fucking faggot. I don't want anything to do with that murderous demon.

>>14375838
If they can morph parts of them into convincing copies all kinds of objects, I don't see why not.

I want an elf to touch my ears!

>>14375852

Mutual ear touching is the best.

>>14375838
love this art style

What monsters are the cutest babies?

Never leave a man behind.

>>14375862
all of them

>>14375868
I would leave everyone behind, every man for himself.

>>14375862
Lamias are pretty cute, though anything that could pop out of an egg like this would kill my heart.

>>14375868

>>14375862
Kunoichi

>>14375862
Mine.

>>14375868
I would leave them behind in a heartbeat, but I'd be taking the smallest of the Kobolds with me instead of the gold.

>>14375883
I was a good quote somebody had gor what that wizard was thinking.
I need to remember it.

>>14375882
Indeed.

Accept the love of Maid Pussy Kingdom! Cleanest and most upstanding of all Kingdoms and populated by all races!

Sort of like a less shit America I guess?

>>14375868
you know you've failed as a thief when the goddamn warrior is making it out with the gold and not you.

>>14375899
Was it the one about spider butt? Because that's the only one I vaguely remember

>>14375900
>An Apophis will never be voiced by Megumi Toyoguchi.

>>14375883
Loot first
Loot always comes first

>>14375911
>Megumi Toyoguchi.
???

>>14375901
>Maid Pussy Kingdom
So would I have to pay all my maids in dickings or what?
Because I can think of some places to get endurance enhancers so I could have a Maid Harem Orgy with all of them.

>>14375920
Revy from Black Lagoon.

>>14375907
>The Thief gets caught
>The Mage gets caught
>The Warrior gets the loot and bolts
Priorities

>>14375927
Oh fuck, that's a good voice. You have some good taste.

>>14375911
>>14375927
Post an example. I've never heard Revy's japanese voice.

>>14375844
This girl is everything I want in a Holstaur wife, that outfit she wears is even better, something about the jeans and sweater combo makes me harder than fucking diamonds, its probably the fact that its such a milfy outfit.

>>14375910
Not him, but I think it was
>"Dave, if I get out of this I'm shoving that helmet of yours up your ass! I'm a wizard! You know I can make it happen!"

ether that or him relaxing in the snake coils.

>>14375936
Big titties in a tight sweater. Cover everything, leave nothing to the imagination, and still plenty of bounce in it, on top of looking comfy as fuck. Top tier fetish.

>>14375940
>"Get out of here man! We can't wipe out and lose all our treasure again!"
>"I'll be fine. Not hiding a boner or anything at all."

>>14375935
https://youtu.be/zrsSF_HUeng?t=13m15s
It really would be perfect, I think.

>>14375901
What would you recommend for an introvert with poor self esteem

>>14375868

>Goddamn this sword is delicious.

>>14375951
What about a sweater and nothing else?

>>14375954
Whoa baby, I agree. That would sound heavenly coming out of an Apophis.

>>14375915
You betrayed the brotherhood of man

>>14375951
God I just want to fuck a cow girl! I want to turn her into a milf and keep fucking her forever!

>>14375958
You mean like one of those sweater dresses? Also acceptable.
>Just long enough to cover everything
>Still rides up when she bends over

>>14375956
maybe he lost his sword to the slime and was like
>"Fuck this shit I'm out!

>>14375838
Stop Shoggoth lewdness! They are constantly going around naked.

>>14375862

>>14375975
Atra?

>>14375975
>>14375982
Someone drew Atra as a cat?

...that is fuckin' adorable.

>>14375975
What's that kitty? You want a footrub?

Incidentally, last night my kitty climbed on top of me when I was trying to read and stuck her face in my armpit. Cats love the smell of sweat. A kitty rubbing her face into your armpit is cute and unbearably ticklish.
How would Werecats react to such smells?

>>14375988
>How would Werecats react to such smells?
I have cat that likes to sniff and nip at my hair after a shower, so something like that I guess.

>>14375926
Yes, I'm certain a we have a couple Bi-Corn Maids within the Kingdom that could aid you in your...interests.

>>14375955
One of the proud Kikimora! Many of the founding mothers of Maid Pussy Kingdom were Kikimora and are experts at aiding those with self esteem trouble!

However, you must be extremely careful of reaching Maid Pussy Kingdom since it's located in the scenic heart of the Demon Realm.

Maid Pussy Kingdom is a staunch neutral in all forms and though within it's borders the roads are guarded everything outside of them is considered "fair game" by the locals.

No one knows why the Demon Lord allowed the Kingdom territorial rights though there are some theories, like the fact that she's a very kind woman!

Truly the kindest with the best interest in heart for all Monster Girls!

>>14375989
Bitch must be trippin'.

>>14375862

>>14375994
As long as they're down with cuddling afterwards, I'm good.

>>14375989

cute.

>>14375862

Good evening, gentlemen!

I have decided to do you all a favor and give you those monster waifus you so desire!

I happen to have a machine designed to open portals to alternate realities and bring creatures from them here. There's no catch. All you have to do is tell me her species and focus your thoughts on an ideal personality. You are guaranteed to get exactly the waifu you desire.

Well?

>>14376020
Okay, but I should warn you. If you make a deal with me, you have to grant me three wishes by proxy, meaning you can't use your powers to make them come true or interfere in any way.
Only then, when you, me, and the agent you chose all stand on the Moon, can we call it quits. Deal? Good.

I want a Black Dragon who gets cuddly with me and wants to do vanilla romance stuff with me while still being a terrifying Dragon to the outside world.

>>14376020
How about you eat a robo-dick Robot Devil? Your deals always have catches.

>>14376020
A loving kikimorra with a love for cooking.

>>14376020
No.

>>14376020
You say there's no catch, but then there always is.
You broke the first rule of the demon's code: You never lie.

>>14376020
I'll do it! Give me my dorky Crow Tengu!

>>14376020
A Wyvern with a stern-yet-loving demeanor, that way she can morph and eat your ass if you try to burn me. Decent tits, good muscles, and an ass that won't quit. Hair color and style... Surprise me.

>>14375901
Alright, I'll accept it if there are any cute Unicorn maids.

>>14376020
Forget that Robot Devil, just Alp my shit up.

>>14376020
>species
dragon
>Personality
the high school sweetheart: the kind that has a crush on you before shyly sitting next to you in class. sweet, cute, bubbly, needy, enjoys compliments (especially clever ones), easily depressed if unloved or undesired - but, being a dragon, too proud to admit it

Why do people think this is robot devil? If it were robot devil, why would he wear a fake mustache?

>>14376020
Just Wock my shit up

Has anyone here ever fantasized about fucking a pair of monstergirl twins?
Just imagine them pressing your dick between their tits, or their asses.
Imagine one riding your face while the other rides you.
Imagine them putting their hands together into a heart while you cum all over their faces.

>>14376020
Snow leopard. Lets do this.

>>14376069
>>14376069
Yep.
Mostly with kikis.
Plump kikis.

>>14376069
What about going out on individual dates once a week, only to one week find one of the girls tied up and gagged with a ball gag in a closet just before?

>>14376069
The thought may have crossed my mind on occasion?

>>14376020
I don't believe you.

>>14376069

I imagine something like that but Kejourou

Both of them coordinating with how they using their hair to wrap you up and being sandwiched between them in an embrace.

>>14376096
Amazons are so nice. Why don't people write about them?

>>14376061
>Why do people think this is robot devil? If it were robot devil, why would he wear a fake mustache?

Oh... The thumbnails ruined his disguise. I didn't know it was there, I'm sorry.

>>14376020
Is this going to be some awful NTR plot? Where you open portals and summon forth our ideal waifus; but then play wife-swap and give everyone's ideals to someone else?

>>14375994
Maid kingdom sounds nice, also I heard that it was because the DL's meido refused to keep making her cake.

>>14376102
Ehh. They're just kind of vanilla. Onis can do the big muscle girl schtick just as well, on top of having more versatility. Besides that, what can they do that other monsters can't?

>>14376121
Tenderly love their househusband.

>>14376121
>what can they do that other monsters can't?
Don't be mean.

>>14376020
Oh dear, how troublesome. It seems there was a malfunction due to so many people trying to get waifus out of the machine at once. Who could have known such a thing would happen?

Now don't worry, your waifus are all totally fine. There's just one little issue. The girls have all been body-swapped. Your waifu is now in the body of the monster the guy above you wanted. Her personality and behaviors are in no way altered by her new body.

What about the first guy, you say? Unfortunately he was a little too close to the machine. His waifu's displaced mind jumped into his body. They share it now, but he alped as a result. They will be the communal cum-dump of any and all responders who said they wanted an Alp, since Alps can't fit through portals.

Now, I understand you may be unsatisfied with this. Never let it be said the Robot Devil doesn't listen to his customers concerns!

If you don't want to keep your waifu as she is, you can choose one or both of the following two methods to resolve the issue:

1) We push your waifu back through the portal and try again. I'm sure it'll work out just fine this time.

2) We put your Waifu into my friend, Dr. Frank Stein's, invention and try to fix things manually. Dr. Stein is a genius, you can trust him.

>>14376133
WHAT DID I FUCKING TELL YOU PEOPLE?

>>14376020
Please take me to Miia

thank you for your kind service

would you like anything of mine in return kind robodevel?

>>14376133
>What about the first guy, you say? Unfortunately he was a little too close to the machine. His waifu's displaced mind jumped into his body. They share it now, but he alped as a result.
That sounds incredibly kinky and related to my /d/ fetishes, I'll take the Alp.

>>14376133
So I'm an Alp with a split personality now? Okay.

>>14376133
I'll just stick with Miia in snow leopards body then

>>14376090
>tfw you work as a 'call boy' for Monster Girls.
>tfw your co-workers get fat-bottomed Wyvern twins.
>tfw you get stuck with a small swarm of 20 Beelzebubs because you're the new intern.

It's a living.

>>14376133
A kiki is fine with me. No need to get risky.

>>14376133
The Quintessons offer you a counteroffer out of sheer spite! We will allow you to travel back before you made your foolish deal and get the monstergirl you desire. However, the catch is that you must go to her and not the other way around.

>>14376133
>A crow tengu with that personality
Time to go see Dr. Stein. I'm sure she can help.

>>14376152
Eh, you could be doing worse than some Beelzebutts.

>>14376133
Holy shit, where did robot devil come from?!?

The guy directly above me asked for alpdom. Where did my waifu go?

>>14376152
Are you implying that getting sucked off and ridden by a swarm of Beelzebubs is not desirable?

>>14376029
>>14376133
I am completely OK with a Kiki that acts like that.

>>14376160
I'm implying that while the senior call boys get to spend a relaxing evening with a wealthy Kitsune Noble, I get stuck with the more undesirable clients.

All to see if I have what it takes I guess, I'll stick with it.

>>14376155
Oh, that's a super easy yes

there's nothing for me here

>>14375951
You sir, have just became my nigga. Girls in sweaters are underrated about how sexy they can look. I personally think a girl can look just as sexy in a sweater/ winter clothing as in a swimsuit.

>>14376152
>New guy at the office
>Job for the day come in
>Misses out on the kitsune priestess
>Someone snatches up the wyvern twins before him
>One guy rips the order from a CC Holst away from him
>Only one ticket left
>It's for a Matango colony
>Special rate pay so it can't be ignored
Other guys throw him a hazmat and wish him luck
Being the new meat sucks

>>14376158
Skip to the next valid response
Enjoy your Dragon in the body of a Wyvern, you fool! Ahahahaha, ha- wait, that's really fucking boring.

You get an Ancient Blight-Wock, with this guy >>14376058 inhabiting one of its sentient tentacles.

>>14376187
>blight(?) wock
yissss
>anon alp is jab or wock from those obnoxious greentexts
oh, fuck you, robot devil. Fuck you.

>>14376187
>Dragon in the body of a Wyvern
>She loses her shit
>Starts going on about being stuck as 'One of those trashy lesser races'
>'At least I can still fly, not like those oversized snakes that play at being dragons.'
Time to teach the dragon some humility

>>14376187
So now that I'm an Alp with a Black Dragon's soul in me, I have to ask.
What makes you think this is in the least bit ironic or hellish for me?

>>14376187
I have a mouth and I must scream.

I probably won't though if I have enough Dr Pepper and red meat to keep me sated.

The Throwback Dr Pepper, by the way. The kind that uses real sugar.

>>14376187
>You get an Ancient Blight-Wock, with this guy >>14376058 inhabiting one of its sentient tentacles.
That sounds hot, I'll take it. Put an Anon in the other tentacle too.

>>14376155
I especially don't believe you.

Go ahead, say I'm guilty. If you can!

>>14376133
Huh. I was kinda close.

But not as bad as I thought. I guess you're a nicer guy than I thought RD.

>>14376208
>Plowing your Jabberwock waifu
>Two anons piloting the tentacles are commenting on the spectacle like wrestling announcers

Do you want this? Do you really want this?

>>14376221
Not him but yes.
>Oh! Ohh! DID YOU SEE THAT COLE?!

>>14376221
That's fine, I just grab one of them and thrust into its mouth, cumming inside

The other one will either shut up not wanting that, or beg to want it, in which I'll oblige. Win win for me.

>>14376225
>That killed him! As god as my witness he's broken in half!

>>14376133
Well now, lets see the results of your choices.

If you chose to keep your waifu as is, have a pleasant evening. Remember ti invite me to the wedding.

If you chose option 1, your waifu gets a new body. Roll to determine what it is:
monstergirlencyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Special:RandomInCategory/Mamono
If you get something unpleasant like a cait sith or matango, too bad.

If you chose option 2, Roll:
monstergirlencyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Special:RandomInCategory/Mamono
Your waifu is now a chimaera of what she was previously and this new monster.
She's also undead now. If she was already undead, she's now regular old alive.

If you chose both 1 and 2, your waifu is now a moe abomination.

>>14376201
You're also being used a cum-dump by all of the thread's Alp lovers. That's kind of unpleasant, right?

>>14376239
>kind of unpleasant
As long as I'm having spirit sex with my waifu, horny anons can do whatever they want with my body.
Guess you lose.

>>14376221
That would be kind of awesome.

>>14376239
I choose the Robot Devil as my waifu.

>>14376239
My my, you certainly are off your game old buddy.

Is that robotic nature of yours finally coming back to bite you? Perhaps a little too much rust in the old noggin?

>>14376251
Aaaannnndddddd another gullible Alp on the pile. Well done.

>>14376247
>horny anons can do whatever they want with my body
RIP

>>14376259
>RIP
You mean "congratulations on reaching Stage 3 of Alpdom in record time"?

>>14376265
>Update
Not to mention being cumflated more than any alp before.

>>14376272
Anons don't produce that much.

>>14376239
>>14376247
>>14376259
>>14376265
>>14376272
>>14376275
I want to take this Anon Alp that's sharing a body with a Black Dragon and love her, caress her, make gentle passionate love to her, and marry her! Befriending both girls that reside in that body! I'll love them and one day join with them so we can be one

>>14376290
>Anon Alp
>Black Dragon
I'm getting a baaaad feeling about this sarge.

>>14376275
Actually, now that i'm off meds again I can pump out at least 5 solid loads in a few hours if i'm trying

>>14376312
>solid loads
>solid
Doesn't that hurt coming out?

>>14376317
Only when they catch when coming out

Black Dragons are:

>>14376327
Mean and cunning.

>>14376239
>Zombie weresheep wyvern
>Warm and fluffy
>Needs another's body heat to warm up
>Fluffy dragon
This worked out better than I could have hoped! Thanks, Robot Devil!

>>14376327
For stuffing.

Good night Anons.
Take care and don't burn down the thread.
If you do.
Bad things will happen.
Bad things that go Awawawa in the night.

>>14376327
Bad with lightning
>Like looking like a ninja in the armor
>Have to hunt thunder monkey

>>14376327
For >>14376331, but in a spoiling manner. Pamper them and make your haughty mistress a plump haughty mistress.

>>14376336
First snow is falling outside my window as I read this, and I know now what fear is.
I'll just stay perfectly still and they won't find me.

>>14376340
Funny, that's whats happen over for me too.

That won't work on these girls Anon.
Not unless you get the little blind one.

>>14376339
But Anon.
What if I don't want to stop at that?

I love Miia!

>>14376346
>Little blind Wendigo
>Has to stay close to her cave
>Meanders about awkwardly
>Someone finally wanders close
>Tries to track him by smell
>Trips on her cloak and falls
>Bumps her head, sad awawawawa's are heard
Fuck it, I'm picking her up and taking her home on principle. I couldn't bear to see something that small and weak alone. She'll get a warm home, good food, and lots of loving cuddles.As well as a mommy to help look after her.

>>14376354
It'd be better if she cold get a personality beyond 'break Darling in half at the pelvis'.

>>14376367
>tribe comes home that night
>the little blind one isn't there anymore
>they panic
>spend the rest of the night looking for her, desperate
>something awful must've happened to her
>they don't find her
>presume she's dead
>go into mourning
>everyone blames themselves because they didn't stay back to look after her instead of going foraging
Good job, jackass.

>>14376367
What's it called when you have a strong protective instinct for small, weak, vulnerable, in need things?

>>14376367
Are you ready for her to hang onto your leg as you lead her about the new home?
Head moving from side to side even though she can't see?
Man, I would really love to use one of them as I went to sleep, sounds comfy.
Darn metal gear keeping me up.

>>14376102
Harblador literally just wrote about them a few days ago. Other than that they're pretty boring and mediocre.

>>14376351
w-what do you mean?

>>14376102
On average they're just buff Human women.

KC spiced them up a bit by making them effectively Buffcubus', but still kind of one-dimensional.

>>14376392
Isn't it obvious?
The bigger she is then the haughtier she is.
The haughtier she is then the better a mistress she is.

I must go forth and make her the biggest, haughtiest mistress of them all!

>>14376408
If it's like that, than I'll make an even bigger and haughtier Mistress than yours! Mine is the haughtiest, even her laugh is the haughtiest!

>>14376417
Please mine will surpass yours!
Her mere presence in the room will overwhelm you with how haughty she is!

Minotaurs are better than Holsts. Are you man enough to smell her hairy pits?

>>14376423
>>14376417
>The Anons went on to try and out do each other while their haughty mistresses grew worryingly big till they couldn't move.
>Life, being the thing that it is, then reminded them that it's tough to be haughty when one can't move.

Remember kids, don't overdo it with your waifu.
She loves you but sometimes there is such a thing as too much.

>>14376438
Alright, exercise her while still keeping her relatively plump and incredibly haughty?

We can say those trips to the gym and being sweaty in sports bras and spats are just to put the other girls there to shame

>>14376444
Whatever you say, just don't get distracted by her bouncing booty or her overly large breasts that threaten to break free at any moment.

Also watchout if she demands cake afterwards as a reward.

>>14376424
I-I just wanted a protein shake...

I want a maus to laugh at my tiny dick!

>>14376478
Gotta work for your treats, man!

>>14376487
Do you want an alp to laugh at your tiny dick, or is that going too far?

Waifus with wings are the coolest because they can keep things nice and shadey at the beach! Like a personal umbrella!

>>14376500
Those Wocks can't handle the heat.

>>14376497
> School delinquent one day alps
> expect an easy ride
> she now makes fun of your tiny dick instead of your lack of muscles while her crew pushes you into lockers since they don't want her to break a nail
This... this wasn't the boner I ordered, I ordered a boner for something totally different

>>14376500
Is that Mono's work? Fantastic choice.

>>14376504
Why is she still the boss?

>>14376507
Monsters are stronger than humans, even alps
Plus she's a /fit/alp, she was strong delinquent before she alped so she's strong after.
You don't just turn into a fucking loli, that only happens in wonderland.

>>14376513
But girls can't be bosses in male gangs, that'd make them into harems!

>>14376518
Pff, you think the boss is a girl? How can someone this tough be a girl! Boss-Sama even smokes behind the bins with ciggies he stole from his mom that totally aren't just rolled up leaves in tissue paper!
We love you Boss-Sama! Never leave us!

>>14376376
lame?

I want chuuni monstergirls to stop dicking around in construction sites!
Its really dangerous!

>>14376521
Does Boss-sama still squat with everyone?

>>14376518
>talking shit about the boss
this guy
>>14376530
oh shit, I haven't seen him at the gym in like three months! how is he still so fit?

>>14376530
Squat? Boss-Sama INVENTED squats! She- I mean, HE'S so manly he can... uh... d-do so many squats! He does so many the crew has to carry him to class while he sleeps it off! That many squats!

>>14376500
W-where do I put on her lotion?

>>14376534
>>14376536
>RP
Looks like I found the actual alps here.

>>14376538
Everywhere Anon. EVERYWHERE.

>>14376540
Well our fav Alp author's off for a week so we're gonna chill here for a while. That okay with you guys?

>>14376529
But she needs a training montage to defeat the saga's villain/villainess!

>>14376545
Wait, what?

>>14376376
A Shepard? Take care of those goat girls!

>>14376543
I-It's safe to touch her right? Those claws won't catch me will they?

>>14376545
Alp's off for a week? Lazy asshole.
>Alp will never write anything this week because he can't be assed

Well isn't that a kick in the balls.

>>14376550
>Shepard
Wrex.

>>14376551
Her jaws may bite you - but only gently. and on the ear.

>>14376551
Not gonna lie. They will. They will catch you and you will be put in what can only be described as a 'head wock'.

>>14376555
Shepard.

>>14376555
>555
I have to go.

>>14376559
God damn you Charon.

>>14376562
Goat girls are best girls, but their slutty Satyr cousins are the only people I'd have pub crawl with

>>14376550
Oh I'll take care of those Goat Girls alright...

I'll take care of them with my penis.

>>14376555
Draven

>>14376576
WILDCATS

>>14376558
>>14376559
I want to get caught in those claws that catch and jaws that bite!

>>14376574
I swear KC better goddamn get a goat girl in next, or satyr or something my dick could not be harder.
Also
>>14376549
> not knowing about the real MVP
> Git gud

>>14376583
>the real MVP
What is this, I don't even?

>>14376585
It's okay anon, just keep doing what you do
It's nothing, really, just stinky alp things~

>>14376586
>stinky alp things
I'm sickened, yet intrigued. Just tell me what's an em-vee-pee.

Would you raise a loli to be your pocket healer?

>>14376583
>I swear KC better goddamn get a goat girl in next
What is Baphomet

>>14376591
Baphomet is the name of a demon
I mean ACTUAL goat girl, like satyr or faun not some loli demon

>>14376589
Sure, I don't see why not.

>>14376591
I want a good goat girl though. I mean, baphos are ok, but I want one that comes with a default nee-san mode.

>>14376586
>>14376587
I wanna cuddle a stinky alp!

>>14376587
You'd have to admit you love alps a whole lot. Like, more than anything else. Like if it was a choice between an Alp or a Manticore/Hellhound/Cheshire harem, you'd pick the alp

>>14376606
Oh. Well, no.

>>14376603
Yay, you came too! The alp migration begins!

>>14376606
I'd pick the Alp!

>>14376554
Not him, its KF who's away for a week. Also didn't Alp "quit"™ writing again anyway?

>>14376616
Aww, you ruined it swiss! I was gonna make >>14376607 admit he'd hug an alp and give her all his headpats!

>>14376606
gaaaayyy

>>14376618
I'd hug an Alp and give her headpats! Even if she was a stinky alp! I'd spoil the Alp too!

Which monstergirls would laugh at my fart jokes? Which monstergirls would laugh themselves to tears the first time they heard this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RttuiU6zj2k

>>14376627
No, Fart Jokes are the worst. People who make them and find them funny are bad people by default.

>>14376625
Would you feed her peaches?

>>14376658
Alps can eat their own peach for hours!

>>14376658
I don't know what that means but if she wants me to than sure!

>>14376664
I understood that reference.

>>14376664
Such flexibility! As expected of an Alp!

>>14376669
Well hallelujah for you.

>>14376668
Alps are suckers for milkshakes, and prisoner fruit!
Make sure to feed them prime Minotaur milk peach milkshakes, to ensure critrolls at all times!

>>14376678
I'd rather feed my Alp Hathor Milk! Lots of Hathor Milk! Gallons of the stuff!

I want to take a shower with a spidercow!

>>14376682
I wonder what that would taste like...
I always thought holst milk was soft and rich, like full cream, while minotaur was the skim milk or those little milk nutrient bottles, Gardinia or whatever

>>14376688
>schlicking with those claws
Honey no! Let me lick you instead!

>>14376688
> no seal
FEAR

>>14376688
A) Shower Sex is hot.
B) Pubes trimmed into the shape of a heart?
I'm normally one for a totally shaven girl, but something about that is enticing.

>>14376627
Akaname

>>14375848
Well how about one of her sisters instead?

>>14376616
Alp has officially quit writing more times than Kojima has quit making metal gear. Sure, Kojima has left for good now, but the point still stands.

>>14376706
Punished Alp when?

>>14376706
Why can't I remember any? I mean okay, purging the pastes is one thing, but he hasn't done that this time.

>>14376708
> tfw /mgt/ doesn't know about Lyall
I mean sure he's as relevant in + as her was in the first one, but still

>>14376709
He claims to have quit writing every four months or so.

>>14376698
>I'm normally one for a totally shaven girl
What if it was a Yeti with a nice white bush down there?

>>14376722
Uncertain.

>>14376722
Well my minds telling me no, but those dubs are telling me yes

>>14376708

>>14376740
>An Alp as Quiet

I don't think I'd want that. You can't even hear her go "Kyaa!"

>>14376750
Would you rather a Wendigo?
>perfect cloaking device
>communicates through awawawa

>>14376758
Is her cloak made of twigs and leaves for camo purposes? Because then she's perfect.

>>14376762
You can stick all kinds of stuff on that cloak.

Who is the most forgettable MGE girl?

>>14376774
Mosquito.

>>14376774
The one you don't remember, duh.
Also, Kesaran Pasaran.

>>14376774
Merrow, dryad, insects that are not the mantis or ushi

>>14376774
People are going to say some moderately liked girl who still has one or two fans but this is the real answer.

>>14376763
Good. I want a Wendigo Sniper that's like this.

http://i.imgur.com/ZeKBs7H.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/HxHTLdw.jpg

>>14376779
>Kesaran Pasaran
It was nice that jabberwockfag commissioned what was pretty much the only art of those.

>>14376774
Pixie. Even KC forgot about her.

>>14376789
She'll be like that, alright.

>>14376788
KF didn't forget Jumanji!

>>14376788
wasn't that originally called pot devil for some reason?

>>14376797
Yeah, her art used to be worse if memory serves me right too. She was changed when he released MGE 1.

>>14376688
Wait, did I miss something new?

>>14376774
Like 30% of them

>>14376792
She was in recent Titania profile

>>14376801
Not new exactly, the artist's tumblr got posted last thread and I went through his stuff. I just realised it was probably pushing it and deleted it before a mod decided to ban me.
http://i.imgur.com/Sd9rUkV.jpg

I plan to become the King of hearts!
wonderland wont know what hit it!

>>14376814
You can't do it without THE HELP OF KYOJIIIIIII!!!

>>14376774
Charybdis
No one loves barnacle girls.

>>14376814
So you going to marry that loli Lilim huh?

I want KC to do art of her, I best the queen of hearts is really cute.

>>14376814
You'll have to get through the wocks and cats though! And their alice general!

>>14376814
what if the queen was a bicth?

>>14376830
Queen of Hearts is a Bitch in Heat? Who would've thunk it?

>>14376814
>>14376830
seeing as this is on topic (kinda)
as long as you where this when talking to alices

>>14376695

>>14376839
meh, id stull fuck it

Wonderland time?

http://strawpoll.me/6052213

>>14376824
I love barnacle girls!

>>14376846
>Underfail
Fuck you.

>>14376830
>>14376836
Cheshire Cat a Best.
End of discussion.

>>14376851
Why such salt over a decent game?

>>14376851
?

>>14376851
What are you talking about?

>>14376859
the last choice is a undertail joke

>>14376846
I want to fuck a smug cat.
>>14376851
>hating fun

>>14376869
I hope she's smug as fuck in the actual comic.

>>14376856
I probably would not be able to handle CC as a MGE cheshire

>>14376812
Oh my
Yes, this is perfect

>>14376871
I would be extremely eager to try.

What monstergirl would help me conquer the world with blood and fire and cum?
Mostly cum.

>>14376876
Grapesnake. Possibly Connie the Barbarian from Centauria.

>>14376878
I'll take the snake. I'm sure her venom will be useful for...politics.

>>14376876
Dragons
they fill all 3

Kind of rushed it in the end, may still be a WIP.

Any thought?

>>14376893
Tits too big, ass too small.

>>14376529
>you will never meet a foxgirl who is third generation Western and collects items with Zipanguan text despite not speaking a lick of it
>you will never date a Gazer who wears ten eyepatches to restrain her mystic eye powers
>you will never have your Harpy friend power away in a cloud of dust yelling "EVERYTHING! IS MY! DELUSION!" only to hide on the roof of the nearest building until she's sure you think she mysterious disappeared
>you will never know a hipster Tanuki who wants to mimic poor culture and wears the latest in Ogre fashion while listening to rap
>you will never meet a thugdere mousegirl covered in bandages who tries to act tough and aloof so people will quit picking on her

Why again are we alive?

http://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1447855494177.webm
What kind of stuff would your monster girl waifu do to you in your sleep?

>>14376901
Everything that she does when I'm awake, but feels more naughty about it.
Probably ends with me waking up into a lot of facesitting.

>>14376893
First, what >>14376894 said.
Second.
>Demon
>Not a Kejerou
>Or even an Apophis
>Hell a Titania
Meh.

>>14376901
What...what is this?

>>14376901
Sleep on my chest and wake me up with her weight.

>>14376901
Kek
Where is this from?

>>14376927
Oh, and give me lewd nightmares.

>>14376893
>not a Kejerou/10

I'm bored, someone borrow me an art fairy so I can draw something.

>>14376924
>>14376931
Hen Zemi, that show's pretty damn lewd.

>>14376948

You want suggestions to draw something?

>>14376948
Out of faeries
If you want something to draw, how about this?

>>14376893
I like it.

>>14376988

Thanks!

>>14376959
The character designs are nice and chubby and top lewd too.

>>14376976
Doodle, more like. But I figured I'll go with P'Orc.
>>14376986
Way too hard.

>>14376948

A punk Belzebub showing her tramp stamp tattoo to a nose-bleeding Leanan Sidhes

>>14376997
doodle a echidna then. any more art should be good

>>14377019
I already started on the P'Orc.

>>14376948
Devil bug cuddle pile

>>14376986
They have a cold hard exterior, but if you touch them in the right places you'll find they're really very squishy and warm.

>>14377021
curses, foiled again.

>>14377031
Can't draw P'Orcs. Made that Wendigo sniper instead. Truly, this is my calling in life.

>>14377076
You should do commissions!

>>14377076
Fucking Alp
Why do people tell me I'm shit every time I post drawings when there's a creature like you around

>>14377083
It'd be the thread equivalent of yelling at the special kid for messing something up in a public venue.

>>14377083
Because I'm shit ironically.

>>14377080
I do deserve your money for this stuff, yes. I'm like on par with Kentaro Miura and Takehiko Inoue with this shit.

Stupid sexy impractical headwings.

>>14377116
I fucking hate you alp, just die

>>14377116
>>14377124 This pretty much.

>>14377123
Headwingjobs when?

>>14377123

Think of your favorite Monster Girl.

Got her?

Make her a 6 Pokemon Team. Pokemon she'd like/love/use.

>>14377134
>Hellhound
Houndoom, Umbreon, Entei, Mightyena, Delphox and Stoutland.

Mostly fire and dark types that are dog related but she'd have to cheat and use Stoutland as the 6th because there's not enough.

It's so dead in here. Not even dancing Skeletons anywhere.

>>14377202
Im here, its just I don't really have anything to talk about.

>>14377202
Did someone ask for Skeletons?!

>>14377205
Maybe.

>"Hey Anon guess what day it is today!"
>"No clue."
>"It's my rebirthday!"
>"We already celebrated your birthday, your deathday and the day of the dead this year, you aren't getting anymore presents."
>"Not even a dick in a box?"
>"Not even."

We need to put a stop to Undead privilege and their endless celebrations

>>14377258
>Wonderland gets an unbirthday every day
>Undead not allowed their few privileges and heritage.
way to be racist.

>>14377258
But I want to celebrate all of those with a Wight who loves throwing formal events. Especially if she was over the top about celebrating everything else too
>A event to to commemorate the day she first raped you, all the guests know exactly what it's for
>A romantic dinner to celebrate the day she introduced you to her parents
>A ballroom dance to mark the first formal event she took you to
>She's a little on the light yan side, enjoys sniffing your hair and obsesses over all the tiny things but she'd never do anything to hurt you

>>14376376
That's just paternal instincts.

>>14377294
>>14377310
Consider the following: there's these two sisters, right? The older sister is a Lich, but she dies young and is stuck as a kid in undeath. The younger sister died much older and appears to be the older due to her voluptuous, ripe form.
The older sister is, as befits a Lich, a serious, reserved bookworm. The younger sister is a horny slutbucket.
Together, they FIGHT CRIME!

Guys, sometimes when I'm playing video games, Gazer just climbs onto my lap and watches! Sometimes she even falls asleep there but when I ask her about it she says she wasn't sleeping.

What did she mean by this?

>>14377497
It means you need to stop hogging the console.

>>14377497
It means you need to play more interesting games.

>>14377497
>Those eye stalks on the left

I want to date an Eye stalk!

>>14376893
That looks excellent, drawfriend.

>>14377598
I want to date a wock's tentacle! Wanna go on a double date?

>>14377497
gazer is so cute, sometimes we play WoW together on our laptops in a blanket fort. We take naps in there and make tea, we eat gazer's cookies too!!!

I wanna call a Gazer a stinky smell fatty NEET! Then I want her to try and beat me up, trip, and fall onto me and we make out!

>>14377689
Gazer is good for kissing AND bullying but you need to understand she's neither fat nor stinky (she is a neet thought).

>>14377675
Gazer is really good at Mistweaver monk, she heals so well, she's server first healer overall. Every guild wants her to join.

>>14377711
>but you need to understand she's neither fat nor stinky (she is a neet thought).
The wock neet says the same thing, but look at her.

All monster girl neets are fatty, stinky, and have no education, employment, or training.

>>14377719
Gazer doesn't eat much and she bathes a lot too, didn't you see that post last night where the anon caught her soaking in the tub late at night?

I want to sneak into the nearest Oppai-Sabbath and give them all Mega Holst milk!

>>14377787
But some of them already drink Mega-Holst Milk anon!
You should ask them for some so you can replace the milk in a Sabbath lair and make a few "converts".

Lava Golems are cool.

>>14377833
No, they're hot1

>>14377833
No Glacies are.

I want to see my waifu's reaction when I tell her Jar Jar really was the key to all this.

>New Digimon movie came out
>Nobody is posting Waifumons.

>>14377880
I'll give you that one.

>>14377787
I'd rather give it to the stern, kikimora class president who keeps getting mad at me for sleeping in class.

>>14377833
>Lava Golem and her husband cross a thug in the street
>Thug has to run away from the 2000+°F inferno to save his life
>Husband is still arm to arm with her, completely unharmed

Lava Golems are the best when it comes to protection
I have no clue how their work

>>14377935
Tiny King Crimsons in their blood.

>>14377809
Do it during ladies night at the bar, when sabbath milfs and their cc daughters are having a good time partying.

>>14377912
I haven't watched it yet, I've been told to not expect much though.

>You will never punish a Kobold by making her watch Sarah McLachlan SPCA commercials on loop.

Why even live.

>>14377935
Makes me wonder how hot a Hellhound can get.

>>14377960
I'd rather take in a homeless kobold and give her a big glass of it at dinner.

This is her home now.
She gon git big.

>>14377983
Do you understand how grateful she'd be that you took her in? She probably wouldn't even mind her new ridiculous breasts.
Get ready for lots of Paizuri though.

>>14377996
Grateful?
Why would she be grateful?
I'm just going to keep giving her glasses each day, bathing her in the tub and giving her home cooked meals while trying to find her a job.
Is she ready for me to sit her in my lap as we watch TV so I can scratch her ears and fondle her breasts?

Is she prepared for me to put her in some specially made pajamas and cuddle her as we go to sleep?

I think not!

>>14377983
I want to take home a homeless Kobold, give her headpats and hugs, and then some Wonderland Cake and Hathor Milk. A gallon.

>>14378007
Tall and curvy kobold?

Final Fantasy styled Monk Hellhounds.

>>14378023
Nice

>>14378023
I'd prefer my monkhounds in traditional clothing.

>>14378030
Loen actually drew that image not too long ago.

>>14378010
Yup. A bit chunky, but all the loveable and sweet.

>>14378030
>>14378035
Yeah, it's D.D. if I remember correctly.

>>14378035
First time I see it, I don't spend too much time in the threads.

>>14378039
how chunky we talking?
Because portly kobolds asking for belly rubs is nice.

>>14377833
Lava Golems are smokin' and love.

I want to give my jubjub daughters holst milk so they never leave the nest and break their mother's heart.

>>14378072
But how can they find husbands if they can't leave the house?
Not to mention that flight is forever beyond them now.

Gazer is a big bully BITCH!!!

Today I decided to play some Team Fortress for old time's sake and hopped on a random server.

What's the first thing I hear before I even join a team? Fucking Micspam. Who's doing it? "xX_Pr0_GAZER_Xx" and she's just blaring anime music and audio from "funny" youtube videos.

People keep asking how to mute her but instead she acts like she's someone else and tells them there "isn't a mute button" and if they don't like it, they're "free to leave."

She's going 112 and 3 as Sniper and is just destroying my team. Someone accuses her of hacking and then she just played a clip of someone yelling "NIGGER!" every time they tried to speak.

It gets old and I decide to play at my best, managing to kill her a few times. SHE SWITCHES FUCKING TEAMS and starts asking me questions but every time I try to speak she just cuts me off by going "huh? huh?" I try to stand up to her but she calls me a "fucking dork" and switches back.

She goes spy and proceeded to kill me roughly 50 times; it was hellish.

She eventually initiated a vote-kick against me and it passed. So I'm sitting there stunned, and I notice she sent me a friend request. I accept it for some reason and she immediately sends me a message asking "A/S/L?" I tell her and she says we're in the same town and not only that, but that she's "backtraced my IP" and is "coming over now."

That was 15 minutes ago, what do I do?

>>14378089
Stop.
>inb4 KGA

>>14378076
You're right I should share the love for jubjubs fto the next generation. I'll just keep getting the waifu pregnant so she'll always have a baby to baby.

>>14378089
Get a blanket and leave the front door open, as soon as she comes in throw it over her head so she can't use her hypnosis powers, Gazers are physically weak so she should be easy to restrain after that.

>>14378099
Yeah.
Why give it to your daughterus when you can give it to their mom so she's always got some big ol tanks to feed her young with?

>>14378089
Your fault for being a casual.