/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Purchase an old computer off eBay or Craigslist, but that might require you to leave the house. Your room looks nice.

>>14247999
Tell us your story, how does it feel living in a prison? Reached Nirvana yet?

>>14248005
That is the problem. I can't do that, and thank you.

There's not much in here for entertainment but a few torn up random books/manuals.

>>14248013
Not much of a story, I dropped out of highschool due to stress and haven't left since.

I had a nice laptop and a tv, and a play station 2 but they all stopped working a long time ago.

>>14248033

Fix them. You can learn how to online and order parts off of the internet.

>>14248033
Why not?

>>14248033
Did you get stressful around people or couldn't handle the load? Is it the same for you now too? Do you shave?

>>14248033
sounds like me before i got enlisted into the army. i know how you feel bro...

Well that's depressing.

Buy a computer. You can buy cheap old office desktops or second-hand laptops, even if they're low-spec they will enable you to play tons of fun games on emulators.

You can tell your mom to receive the package on the door for you.

With your iPod you can do many things too, like reading (from imageboards to news to books), listening to music, playing games (it has emulators too, for example: http://www.gba4iosapp.com/download/)...)...

I like to read this kind of post

>>14249435
In high school, my school gave me a desktop + keyboard + mouse for free when they were clearing our inventory. I still use it...

>>14249863
Did your desktop come with graphic card?

>>14249877
Heck no, just integrated graphics. It has a PCI-e slot I could probably fit a cheap low profile card into but I'm not paying for that... it works ok for watching anime below 720p and simple indie games so I'm happy.

>>14249890
Why can't you leave your room?

>>14247999
>I haven't left my room in 7 years
Autist here. You mean you haven't stepped outside the boundaries of your room at all since 2008? I find that hard to believe/imagine...how have you not gone insane?

start drawing outsider art in mspaint with your mouse and become efamous with hipsters then start a patreon after your first The Verge article feature and become a billionaire

Wow, I never expected many responses.

I'm sorry I fell asleep not expecting many responses.

>>14248053
I don't know how to be honest, I have never made an online purchase. The only thing I get is meals made by my mom. Plus you need a credit card, no? My mom would not allow me use of hers.

>>14248083
All of those are true, it is still the same I figure but I do not see people so I have to figure it is. and I do not shave normally. I recently cut my beard a few weeks ago though.

>>14249435
I will try to get my mom to get me a laptop/PC, but I figure she does not like me much and just feeds me out of responsibility. I haven't asked her for anything in months. I don't know how to even talk to her well.

>>14249856
Why?

>>14249999
If I get a computer I will try. I should take up drawing again. I quit when I stopped highschool.

>>14250145
>I haven't asked her for anything in months. I don't know how to even talk to her well

Damn...

>>14250158
It sucks not having nice things, but I am pretty content as long as I have food and walls around me. Plus I have old manuals and a few books to read, it's nice and reminds me of better times. I also have a lot of songs from my computer/iTunes on my ipod

I'm actually fairly happy. I do get to go outside on our porch rarely from time to time, but it's pretty scary woods at night so It's kinda spooky but feels nicer than just having a window open.

>>14250189
Why do you do this?

Can I cuddle you?

>>14250193
I don't know, it feels right to me. Also you don't want to cuddle me anon, trust me. I'm not cute or anything, I'm fairly odd, and I'm fairly manly.

If I had money I would buy you a laptop. But I am pretty broke myself.

>>14250201
I just want to help every Anon like you since I know what it's like.

I haven't really left my room much in the past 6 years but I've made progress slowly

Dropped out of HS when I was 17, 24yo here. To be honest, I am quite happy. Sometimes I feel like killing myself but this hobby distracts me enough.

>>14250231
Cuddle me, Anon!

>>14250223
I could not accept but I appreciate the sentiment!

>>14250228
がんばって！

>>14250231
I was the same age and I am 25 or so myself now... Damn actually it's been about 8 years now.

>>14250236
You don't want to cuddle me, I am fat and sweaty all the time.

>>14250244
l-lewd

>>14250244
A hug is a hug and >>14250251 a hug does not have to be lewd it can show solidarity or something like that I think.

>>14247999
>haven't left my room in 7 years
Not bad. I'm at almost 2 years.

>>14250259
I am sorry, I don't want to be touched by a stranger, even if you are a /jp/sie. I am a bit traumatized.

>>14250269
That wasn't me, I was only trying to understand. I'm not a big "hugger" myself.

>>14250231
Idropped out of high school at 17, and again at 18 when I went back

Now I've dropped out of uni as well. Kinda exhausting my options.

Though, ever since leaving education my depression has subsided greatly. I have no money after rent but I'm the happiest I've been despite being a 'failure' compared to friends

Post more pictures from your room

>>14250285
It's dirty but give me a few moments. It's a decent.

>>14250285
Here is a view from my bed to my closet I did not want to make it so no pics of that please forgive the random trash, I'm usually not junky.

>>14250354
Woops

>>14250354
>>14250360
take your time, anon.

>>14250360
Sorry this iPods inputs are quite difficult as it is cracked

>>14250363
Have you ever had to deal with the prospect of being kicked out?

>>14250361
Thank you for being understanding.
This stand once had a tv and a play station 2 on it in the past! I miss those times .

>>14250370
Seems like a nice house. How close to your neighbours do you live?

>>14250367
>>14250367
Threatened before, but my parents are well off. If that happened I don't know what I would do. I ran away as a young teen and did not enjoy it then. It would be even worse to do now. Plus this house was purchased towards the end of my highschool year, and I think this nice room sealed it for me in becoming a shut in. Before we lived a shitty 2 bedroom apartment in Chicago. I can not complain here at all.

>>14250377
Fairly far this is a pretty rural area. We have neighbors that are kinda close but I rarely see them from my window.

>>14250384
I really envy you, anon. I wish I could live far away from my neighbours.

What happened to all of you games and stuff?

>>14249856

Not alot of truHIKKI here anymore, even less who bother coming out of their shell on here, its kind of nice to see one every now and then honestly.

I was a hikki for 2 years but had to either become a normie or be homeless, so i finally normied up.

being inside all the time playing vidya or smoking/drinking is fun if you have the means, especially after the first couple months when you're getting over the initial depression/anxiety and have entered pure escapism.

but once reality starts knocking on your door it can become like a prison. you start fearing any human contact and even forget how to talk correctly. I started talking to myself and pissing in bottles to avoid stepping out of my room. considered shitting in my wastebasket a few times but never went quite that far. anytime i wasnt distracted by 4chan or whatever I was in deep melancholy or fanciful delusion.

I'm still a NEET today, but I try to go outside every now and then and dream up realistic goals that involve being apart of society.

>>14250389
It has many benefits. If I do decide to go to the back of my house no one is ever there as it is all woods.

>>14250392
I still have the games just no consoles or handhelds to play them all. Time took them away.

Also I'm pretty sure my brothers faggot friends stole some things in the house while I was staying in the basement to avoid them on a few occasions.

>>14250393
>pissing in bottles to avoid stepping out of my room. considered shitting in my wastebasket a few times but never went quite that far.

This sounds frightening. I have my own bathroom luckily in my room.

>>14250379
If I were in your position, and there was absolutely no way for me to get a computer, then I would pick a skill and devote all of my time to learning it. You have one major thing that most people lack--free time.

You don't need anything to write or draw, and I am willing to bet that you are suited for either art, music, or writing.

>>14250407
This, especially if daydreaming is how you keep yourself entertained all day.

>>14250406
Wow so you really do never leave your room, and to just post here you have to use a broken ipod? Now I feel so wasteful having like 10 things that access the internet and I barely use most of them...

>>14250528
I go out on my porch sometimes at night and go to the kitchen at night for food when my mom sleeps. I sometimes spend half an hour on my back porch enjoying the cool breeze. Not often but a few times a month. I like fresh air, just not people. It's nice to go out and smell fresh air while listening to music on my ipod, it invigorates me a lot.

The computer thing does suck tho I must be honest.

>>14250528
Step up mate, I browse even from my ds

Can't post however

I am not able to do so at this time but one day I would like to offer a home to /jp/sies such as OP. They would be able to do all of the same things that they were doing at their parent's house or wherever, but instead of living with someone who is obviously not happy about the situation they would be able to live with someone who better understands their predicament, and I wouldn't really mind their company. Their parents would obviously be happy about it too so really it would be a win-win scenario for everyone involved.

What music do you listen to OP? Do you not get sick of listening to the same songs over and over? I don't know what I would do if I could not look for and listen to brand new music...

Initially I felt sorry for you, but after reading >>14250545 you seem to be content with the way you live and even happy. I envy you in that regard.

>>14250715
It's easy to listen to the same music.

>>14250715
I listen to the same songs a lot I have over 500 songs I listen to honestly. At the moment I love this song a lot. On my ipod

http://youtu.be/nMGDfxGTkAk

>>14250231
Same position here except I am 22 except I was diagnosed with agoraphobia and I'm depressed as fuck now a days

I wonder what happened to people that were posting in hikki threads 7 years ago. They should be well over 30 now.

I'm at 13 years personally.
Doctor appointments once in a while to ensure my mom I'm still alive and haircuts and that's about it.
I have my wizard powers but all I feel is apathy.
Too bad /jp/ doesn't seem to have hikki threads any more

>>14250978
They were they only thing that kept me in this place. Then the nazi janitor thing happened and jp was never the same. At least it seems like we're returning to the funposting (barely lurk so not certain) but it was really a dark time.

>>14250978

Been at it 10 years now myself, pretty much in the same situation as you (I just shave my own head though).

I'll be a wizard in a few months, but I've stopped letting that bother me.

They started cracking down on these threads a while back as I'm sure you know, so that's why they aren't very common anymore.

It's too bad, since being a hikki is as "otaku culture" as it gets imo. Most of the die hard otaku in Japan probably have very similar lives to ours.

>>14250955
I'm sure most of those people were either able to fix their problems or they more than likely just ended in the "bad ending" that most of us are guaranteed to get.

Afraid I can't answer your question op>>14247999 that sounds really rough. I still have my grindy jrpgs, imageboards, animes, idols and javs to keep myself entertained with; I hope you at least manage to find something to keep your mind off of the crippling boredom and loneliness.

Reading these posts makes me so glad I have an easy and painless means to check out of life.

>>14251068
What's that anon?

>>14251061
>"bad ending" that most of us are guaranteed to get
For some reason I feel like I'm close to accepting this. Maybe I already did. Kind of feels like I don't even care what happens anymore. I'm not actively trying to end it but if it happens, I won't fight it either.

It does feel strange in a way though. Knowing that I'm more certain of death soon, than having an actual future.

>>14251074


A nitrogen tank with an exit bag.

>>14251078
See, I'm at the point where I just don't care. It's the reason I bought a sports bike and speed around. Life fast die young.

Wrapping myself around a tree @200kmh sure beats hanging myself

>>14251078
What exactly kills you, though? Suicide or starvation or something else?

>>14251084
I though by check out you meant temporary, ie drugs

Bit dark now

>>14251089
Well I'm not exactly healthy. Not really what I meant though and I can't quite put it into words. It is not how and what, but the fact that I legitimately believe that I don't have any kind of future. Death, of any kind seems more likely than anything else.

Maybe, it's just me being a huge faggot and one day I'll wake up, thinking that I can deal with people, see something else but nothingness in my future and start living the high life while being happy.
Seems impossible though, like I'm at an impenetrable wall that you can't climb over because it is too tall, and the ground behind you is disappearing.

>>14251078

I think I've already accepted this. I know in the next ten years, there is a good chance that my parents (they're both heavy smokers) will be gone and I wont have any reason to stick around after that.

It's liberating in a way, knowing that nothing really frightens me anymore. I don't have any worries about my future or what I could have been. I've accepted that I'm pretty much a walking corpse and that eventually I'll be granted the eternal sleep that I've long been wishing for.

With that said, for those of you that may be younger and that still have some hope left for a brighter future, the only advice I will give you, is that you better start working on fixing whatever you think is wrong with you as soon as possible (easier said than done I know) or else you'll wake up one day and you'll realize that time has passed you by and that you're a 30 year old husk of a man posting on a board where most of the old posters you knew have probably died or moved on with their lives.

I didn't even know you hikkis were still around.

Well, I guess the ones that aren't around anymore wouldn't be in this thread, so it's kind of self-fulfilling... but still somehow reassuring.

>>14250955
I'm one of those people. I wound up going out to the bars once or twice a week. I met some people and practised socializing. They told me about events and so I went to them. It almost made me feel sick being around so many people at first. I had every emotion possible. Mostly, I felt a sort of sadness that only comes from being alone and wanting to be part of something real. Also I was very self-conscious in trying not to stand out or look like a fool. I learned this was hurting more than helping. I learned to lighten up, be happy with who I am despite my blemishes, and smile and have a good time.

I don't know what it was, but it worked. I feel like an evolved pokemon now, almost unrecognizable from my former self. PUA helped a lot too for my self esteem. It wasn't that difficult to become the awesome person I am now. After all, it is mostly thanks to you, /jp/.

Hikikomori are so played out. Who even cares anymore?

Get a new schtick kiddo.

>>14251172

I thought most of you guys were gone too, kind of happy to know it's not the case.

I wish we were allowed to have something of a hikki general for those that are still around or for those new people that are in a similar situation.

I'm not sure if the mods or the rest of /jp/ would like it though (probably not). I wonder what Hiroyuki's stance would be on it?

I mean I never expected /jp/ would allow a jav general but there it is. Does a hikki general sound too far fetched? Do you guys think it would ever be allowed to exist?

>>14251199
I'd rather check in every three months to see who's still alive. Nothing good has ever come from having a thread up around the clock.

I'd like to share some things about death that I've thought about recently.


I was thinking about why the color `black' or darkness is considered something sinister to people, and I feel as though I have a general idea for why. Because the inherent opposite of a living thing is non-existence, we as beings that were able to escape from the eternal darkness for even a fragment of time dread the reminder of what inevitably lay in store for us all eventually; As such, we do all in our power to keeps these thoughts away. That is why white is a pure and wholesome color to people, it represents life, something animate and certain to us, while darkness is the void that we have known for so long.

This has been something that has weighed on me for as long as I can remember. I feel as though I remember the time before I was born, and it was just absolute emptiness. And yet I still _felt_ this somehow. And because I remember it's utter emptiness I desperately try to run from it.

I think that those who claim that this does not bother them haven't truly taken the time to think about how fucking absurd eternal nothingness is as a sentient being. Fuck everything.

>>14251261
It only bothers you because you are biologically wired to fear death and wanting to stay alive. It's called survival instinct.

A couple of years ago I had surgery and was put into a coma for a few days. I felt nothing, thought nothing and remembered nothing.

Even though I didn't feel it, it was one of the most peaceful moments I've had in my life.

I didn't exist for billions of years and I won't exist billions of years into the future. And I don't have a problem with that at all.

>>14251293
>I didn't exist for billions of years and I won't exist billions of years into the future. And I don't have a problem with that at all.

Not him, but there might be something wrong with you if you're actually fine with the idea of fading into nothingness. As you said, people are biologically wired to fear death. This is a primal kind of terror that all living beings share, so this should one of your greatest fears, if not the biggest.

Like >>14251261, I also believe that people who claim to be ok with their inevitable death are either putting on a brave face or haven't taken the time to let it sink in the implications of being dead and how absolutely frightening non-existence is. Though, if you genuinely believe in some kind of afterlife or rebirth I guess that makes it a lot easier to swallow

I don't like living like this anymore but I have no way to check out. I tried hanging myself and it was too painful. The other day I read that you can put a bunch of cigarettes on a bowl full of water for 24 hours and then boil it until the water leaves and you're left with pure nicotine which can kill you in a few hours if you drink it but cooking that will probably smell and my parents will notice. I don't know what to do. Also I'm not entitled to purchase a firearm and I got turned away when I tried to visit a shooting range.

>>14251337
No. It's just that I've overcomed (at least mostly) the primal fear of death. I'll admit, I have severe depression and anxiety, so maybe it's due to that.

But I regularly do extremely dangerous shit all the time. I ride a motorcycle without a helmet, I smoke a pack a day, etc.

Getting over the fear of death in my opinion was the most freeing and fulfilling thing to happen to me.

Instinctual desires are just that, instinct. They are not inherently right or wrong in the grand scheme of things. Procreating is instinctual and natural, doesn't mean it's a good thing to have babies. Suggesting otherwise on that basis is called the naturalistic fallacy.

So, no. Death doesn't really scare me. Why the fuck would I be scared of something I will not experience? Stop projecting.

>>14251349
Go to a local gas welding supplier and get a helium or nitrogen tank. Google online on how to make an exit bag.

>>14251373
I read that method is outdated. They put something in the tanks now that keeps you from dying

>>14251370
I really don't believe that this is something you can just "overcome", but more power to you if that's how you feel I guess.

>>14251378
Both kill you by displacing the oxygen in your lungs. Since both are present in the atmosphere its not like suffocation via CO2, you dont feel it.

Literally cant think of how they can stop you beside oxygen in the tank which is a hazard for welding

>>14251385
I will look into this some more. But that doesn't sound peaceful

>>14251394
It actually is, its just like breathing then poof, unconscious.

Not that I recommend suicide. At least go out in a fun way, or really messy if you are a cunt

>>14251382
No, that only applies to the party time balloon tanks. Gas welding suppliers still provide tanks with 99% purity (although you should check on their site or ask just in case)


Then it's a matter of making an exit bag, getting some tubing and a regulator. You can get a regulator from gas welding suppliers, or online from assisted-dying websites like Exit International.

Alternatively you can go on the deep web and try to find somebody selling cyanide or pentobarbital, it can be tough but people have managed to obtain it on dark net markets. Just make sure you don't get scammed by finalizing earlier.

Alternatively, alternatively, you can just get a gun through a private sale.



Whatever you do, good luck.

>>14251407
meant to quote >>14251378

>>14251382


http://io9.com/5916677/why-you-probably-wont-experience-your-own-traumatic-death

Expose yourself to risky activities with a high chance of death. Exposure is how you overcome any fear, although it can be admittedly harder for a primal fear. It really helps to have depression as well.

>>14251417
so yolo?

Personally I live for that sort of stuff, the feeling of toeing the line of death is amazing, you feel the most alive when you are at risk of dying.

>>14251337
>Not him, but there might be something wrong with you if you're actually fine with the idea of fading into nothingness.
Faced with the fear of death, I think people either evade it, accept it, or just develop neurosis. Or maybe the last one is just me.

Well, for myself my overwhelming fear of personal non-existence was eventually superceded by my fear of the idea that everything will one day cease to exist and nothing matters. It's kind of an upgrade, I guess? It's still more comfortable to leave it when I can.

>>14251378
They don't put oxygen in the welding tanks. It'd ruin the weld- the very reason you're using the tanks to begin with is to remove oxygen.

It's the party balloon tanks you're thinking of.

>>14251293
And why do we have that instinct in the first place? Because we don't want to feel nothing again. This is why any living thing strives to exist. Everything we do is to feel something. That moment was peaceful to you because you woke up and were able to feel things for a little while longer. We are all part of this thing that has no fucking idea how it just "exists". We are all fragments of this nothing. It is goddamn senseless.

>>14251450
>Well, for myself my overwhelming fear of personal non-existence was eventually superceded by my fear of the idea that everything will one day cease to exist and nothing matters

I know what you mean. Although for me, the heat death of the universe is more of a depressing thought than the sheer terror of my own personal death. It's kinda different

>>14251494
Actually if anything, it was the absence of feeling that was peaceful and freeing. I don't want to feel.

>>14251515


To elaborate further: http://www.near-death.com/resources/editorials/fear-of-death-is-irrational.html

There's a reason why people who have NDEs tend to lose their fear of death. To put it simply, it makes no sense to fear something you will not experience or even be aware of. It's just instinct to do so.

>>14251450
>According to C. George Boeree, professor emeritus at Shippensburg University, the symptoms of neurosis may involve: ... anxiety, sadness or depression, anger, irritability, mental confusion, low sense of self-worth, etc., behavioral symptoms such as phobic avoidance, vigilance, impulsive and compulsive acts, lethargy, etc., cognitive problems such as unpleasant or disturbing thoughts, repetition of thoughts and obsession, habitual fantasizing, negativity and cynicism, etc. Interpersonally, neurosis involves dependency, aggressiveness, perfectionism, schizoid isolation, socio-culturally inappropriate behaviors, etc.
>Carl Jung found his approach particularly effective for patients who are well adjusted by social standards but are troubled by existential questions.
It's like this diagnosis was specially made for me. Though what I guess it really means is that there was nothing special about me at all.

>>14251522
It's another kettle of fish, but on some level I don't even know why it makes rational sense to fear pain. Sure, you'll experience it... but if you have no particular interest in your own future welfare it doesn't really matter that much.

>>14251450
>... the symptoms of neurosis may involve: anxiety, sadness or depression, anger, irritability, mental confusion, low sense of self-worth, phobic avoidance, vigilance, impulsive and compulsive acts, lethargy, such as unpleasant or disturbing thoughts, repetition of thoughts and obsession, habitual fantasizing, negativity and cynicism, dependency, aggressiveness, perfectionism, schizoid isolation, socio-culturally inappropriate behaviors, etc.
>Carl Jung found his approach particularly effective for patients who are well adjusted by social standards but are troubled by existential questions.

It's like this diagnosis was specially made for me. Though what I guess it really means is that there was nothing special about me at all.

>>14251522
It's another kettle of fish, but on some level I don't even know why it makes rational sense to fear pain. Sure, you'll experience it... but if you have no particular interest in your own future welfare it doesn't really matter that much.

>>14251522
>it makes no sense to fear something you will not experience or even be aware of

It's not about the experience of dying, though. I can't speak for everybody else, but for me it's the idea of losing your consciousness forever and ceasing to exist that's terrifying. I really don't care if I'm aware during my death or not. It's what comes after that terrifies me.

>>14251494

>And why do we have that instinct in the first place? Because we don't want to feel nothing again.

wat


fear of death is an instincy because it's an advantage to the survival of our species. it literally exists so we can continue to fuck and make more babies and propagate our survival

>>14251543
I don't know what to tell you. Loss of conciousness has never bothered me, personally. I've experienced it before in my coma and honestly I wish I would have stayed that way.

It really ruins the /jp/ fantasy to know you guys are actual literal bearded fatass/skeletal shutins and not cute girls

>>14251596
Most people haven't said outright that they're not cute girls so there's still hope for you

>>14251545
That is simply a means to an end. What I'm saying is why do living things try to keep anything existing? Because in any sense living is better than not existing.

>>14251715
No it really isn't.

It's because fear of death is what keeps us alive and makig more babies.

That's it. It's how we evolved that way. It's the same for all animals. Be it a human, cheetah, rat, or a fucking roach.

>>14251543
But you don't experience the part that comes after.

Have you never slept? For most of the night, your brain is basically devoid of activity, only during REM sleep do you experience dreams. Haven't you ever had a shitty night where it feels like you just put your head down on the pillow, yet suddenly it's morning?

For me, the idea of something like a futuristic brain scan where your consciousness can be transferred and replicated is a billion times more terrifying than death. The amount of potential abuse from unscrupulous corporations would be insane.

>>14251870
Yeah, that sounds pretty bad.

Immortality is a fucking curse.

>>14251887
Only immortality I'd want is like baccano, recover from any damages and have a way-out for when you want to die.

Seriously you guys should try Buddhism.

>>14251887
I'd love it. I don't want to die.

Consciousness is nice even though I don't do much.

>>14251349
You could step out in front of a semi. If you can manage to have it hit your head first it'll probably kill you instantly. It's kind of a dick thing to do to the driver though.

>>14251349
>I tried hanging myself and it was too painful.
are you an idiot?
you're supposed to hang yourself in a way that your feet dont touch the ground and you cant get out of the rope
better yet, jump from high enough that you break your neck

Pleasee!
Pleasee!
Don't kill your lifetime!

>>14252083
But if you do, fill up some shopping bags with blood and jump from a high building. The amount of blood will confuse everyone

He's prolly still waiting for the iPod games kek

>>14252093
You are correct anon I am.

I talked to my mom today and she was quite suprised. We talked about family for a while then I asked her about a computer she said she would get me one!

How lucky I am!

U guize, juts be urslef.
Making me cry again with your suicide bullshit.
My jypsies...
Take the courage of leaving life to the courage of talking to another person. Remove yourself from your home, get off your iPods!
1. Goto park.
2. Try to talk to someone there.
3. Goto pet store.
4. Try to talk to someone there too.
5. Pet the animals.
6. Get a cat or a tarantula if not allowed. Feed it and take care of it. It gives you purpose for being alive.
7. Try not to cry.
8. ???
9. Cry anyway.

>>14252125
Good news dude! Enjoyee your computer!

>>14252125
Congratulations dude!

Would anyone like to be my hikki/NEET penpal?

xxthrowawayemailxx@mail.ru

>>14252125
Omedetou! If I had an iPod I would read Banshee's Last Cry. It's an old murder mystery VN which was very popular in Japan and ios version is the only one which has been localized.

Glad you were able to talk to your mom, OP! I know it's hard sometimes, but communication can be important. Is this the hikki/NEET general now?

I developed really bad anxiety and agoraphobia in 11th grade. I would cut school and just stay holed up in my room and play visual novels and other games, as well as browse here.

When I turned 17 I realized I was that way because I hated myself and wasn't confident at all. I was a fat kid, so that didn't help. I decided I was done with looking that way, so I decided to hit the treadmill for an hour a day, everyday. That, along with a strict vegan diet made me go from 215lbs to 135lbs over a period of time.

With confidence gained, I was able to land my first job as well as a girlfriend who was actually pretty cute. Unfortunately I didn't know how to handle a relationship, and after 2 years she and I were done. I felt my anxieties and agoraphobia come back, and ever since then, I've been NEET again for about 3 years now.

I feel pathetic for having reverted back to being that way after finally escaping. I want to better myself now, so I was prepared to start my life again. Unfortunately I injured my knee skateboarding (I liked going outside at night to cruise around the neighborhood) so I have surgery coming up and will have to spend another 10 months holed up in my house.

I've been able to escape this lifestyle once before, so I'm sure I can do it again. Don't lose hope, anon. I know it may seem impossible, but you're strong deep down. I know you can do it.

I haven't been here in a few years, but I've always liked and related to you guys. Hang in there, ok?

>>14252165
How many dicpics have you got so far?

I want to hold a /jp/sie's hand while we talk before we fall asleep.

>>14250955
I ended up in an eternal loop of employed/unemployed. I can't hold a job but I can save up enough to not die if I only buy necessities. My siblings help me sometimes too but I'm likely going to end up homeless in another ten years. I'm too old to figure out how anyone manages to set up a life, if I was capable of doing it, I think I would have figured it out by now. I can't even figure out how other people can hold a job. I used to want to kill myself, but I can't even be bothered with that anymore. I don't even care anymore. I'm too tired for this shit.

>>14252335
lewd

>>14252229
Good job mate, much better than people that be neet on purpose.

I was the same, bad anxiety and depression in the last 3 years of highschool. Both feed into each other. I would skip classes and go anywhere to avoid friends. Most of the time it was a local park.

Lost a lot of good friends over the years from it, only have 3 left now. Even through my shittest-teir part time job I cant make proper friends, we get along great at work just nothing outside of it.

Worst bit is I only seem to get weekend shifts which are overnights, I cant even go to the pub with what friends I have left.

Ganbatte anon

>>14251417
Such as what risky activities for example?

How wonderful it is to see a thread filled with disgusting fakeNEETs who were forced into this situation, instead of glorious truNEETs who actively chose this life.

Consider suicide, nobody will miss you.

>>14252377

>>14252333
jpsies really aren't such bad people. The one person who responded seems nice enough.

>>14250393
I used to waste my time doing nothing in my room for about 2 years, but i never even considered pissing in bottle. That's some high level hikki shit there.

>>14252408
I have only once.

But I was drunk in the bath and didnt want to get out so I used the empty bottles

>>14252401
Sorry if I am awkward.

>>14252422
I pee in the bath

>>14252449
Nasty, not even shitfaced me would do that

Am I allowed to participate in these threads if I'm in college, but sympathize with /jp/'s hikkiNeet population in a non-social-worker way?

>>14252377
I hope you get hit by a car and then get paralyzed and your dick doesn't work anymore and just fall out of nowhere and you get cancer.

>>14252475
Just don't bring up the fact.

>>14252487
I don't know how a car is supposed to hit me when I don't leave my house.

>>14252558
Really, in a NEET thread he should have said "I hope a plane crashes on your house". Not that I wish you misfortune, anon.

>>14252558
What if you live in the basement and a car drives into your window?

You guys should get a car, I love driving now and it gives me an excuse to leave the house.

Or a motorbike if you are poor, either works.

Plus you can learn to wrench on it, figuring out the issue and fixing it yourself is possibly the most satisfying thing in the world

Not fully the topic of hikki/NEET life, I'm in such poor health at such a relatively young age.
My joints act up.
My heart sometimes feels so shit I try not to die during meetings.
Bicycling uphill is sometimes difficult.

I don't need to commit suicide since I'll be dying any month now.

>>14247999
suck it up pussy and or get any kind of pc. ive also been in my own prison for close to 6 years. time goes by so slow and fast at the same time its mind boggling

>>14252657
70 days left in the year man

>>14250588
how do you adopt a /jp/sie

>>14251543
>I fear something which I was for billions of years prior and will be billions of years into the future

Your fear is irrational.

>>14252869
Life is irrational.

>>14252599
Do you drive manual? I have a rusty 15 year old shitbox but man do I love my shitbox, like I've become one with the machine and the road when I drive. Sad I probably need to get a new one soon I don't want to spend the money.

>>14252941
Yep. The attachment to shitboxes is real.

>>14252852
It's like a rehab home

Buy an android or an iOS and let's play Puzzle and Dragon anon.

I'll help you!

Anon. If you are still here, and seeing that you really like music. I'm inviting you to listen to shoegaze.
Here's a photo for you.
and here's the first song that introduced me to shoegaze. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f65rI49_vcM

Have fun anon.

>>14252869
That's a supremely retarded logic. Just because I was that for billions of years before doesn't make it ok now. In fact, it's precisely because I possess life now that I can say I don't want to go back to that state. Are you fucking people for real

>>14253017
For the love of god do not listen to this person, shoegaze will ruin your life.
Stop spreading this nonsense

>>14253038
You're retarded logic is fearing something you will not experience or be aware of. Get over your irrational fear, faggot.

>b-but in scared of something I'll never feel

>>14253064
Hell, do you fear sleeping? Because there's a chance you'll never wake up.

Death is basically a dreamless sleep. You can fear the peocess of dying, but fearing the actual death in itself is fucking retarded.

>>14253064
It was never about "feeling" it though. I don't know what's with your obsession with that word. You keep repeating it but it was never relevant in the discussion in the first place

>>14253064
This is what I think, why fear something that will happen no matter what? Only a religious person truly fears death even though they hide it behind their fake reality. I'd only fear a slow painful death really, actually dying is nothing.

>>14253083
You do not experience "death". All I'm saying is that your fear is illogical and stupid.

>>14251870

>Have you never slept? For most of the night, your brain is basically devoid of activity, only during REM sleep do you experience dreams. Haven't you ever had a shitty night where it feels like you just put your head down on the pillow, yet suddenly it's morning?


This is pretty much how I see death too, it's just an eternal version of this.

Think of those people that come out of a coma for 15 years, from what I've read most of them have just felt like they went to sleep like on any other night.

The thought of not existing and not experiencing any sort of thoughts any more is actually very comforting to me. It makes me think that no matter how bad things get, there will one day be a day were I wont have to experience any of it ever again.

We've all experienced not existing before. I mean do any of you remember the time before you were born? I imagine you don't. Death will just be a return to how things once were and I have a hard time being frightened by this.

>>14253099
Again, this was never about whether you experience or feel something. I've no idea why you keep on repeating those as if it changes anything. It's the idea of the complete destruction of the mind that is frightening. You could say that not feeling anything after death, not experiencing any sort of thought is precisely the problem.

Besides, there are plenty of other things you do not feel that are undesirable regardless, so that point is moot.

>>14253142
>It's the idea of the complete destruction of the mind that is frightening.

And I'm telling you that fear is completely illogical and fucking stupid. And that you're stupid for fearing such a thing.

Go ride a motorcycle or something. Stop being scared.

>>14253130
A lot of people are fucking stupid. Why does the concept of heaven and the afterlife exist? Because so many fear the unknown.

Post them already

>>14253159
Impressive counter-argument bro. Such critical thinking and sound reasoning!

>>14253184
Now we're back on topic

>>14253188
No, really. Your fear is illogical and irrational. That's all there is to it.

If the fact that we didn't exist for billions of years and as such didn't experience anything to be afraid of in the first place. If hearing that truth somehow makes you even more scared, that's because you are completely irrational and stupid.

>>14253184
Post the good stuff. Where are the cum bottles?

>>14251261
>I was thinking about why the color `black' or darkness is considered something sinister to people
Humans were diurnal hunters and as such our eyes and other biological components are geared towards doing things during the day. We are weak and ineffective at night where we cannot see very well at all, unlike nocturnal animals that are finely tuned after millions of years of evolution to thrive in such conditions.
Black or darkness harkens back to our very real fear of vulnerability.

>>14247999
If you have a paypal account, anon, you can do surveys, etc online to earn money to get a computer.

Although, come to think of it, I don't know if you can on an ipod.

Why can't you go outside, anon? If you're afraid, why are you afraid, etc?