/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Anxieties?

I'm really fucking lonely, I guess. I also have no future and am basically waiting for my life to get so shitty that I off myself. Right now it's alright, but it's all downhill from here.

Lost it? Only happened a couple of times. People smacking their food and generally being loud eaters makes me inexplicably angry. Very, very angry. I punched my little sister in the face on several occasions because she can't learn to shut the fuck up.

I'm NEET and anxious. They prescribed me Klonopin, but the thought of taking medication that affects your brain made me too anxious, so I didn't take it.

I can't go into this Mediterranean grocery store that I used to frequent, because one day the young female employer introduced herself to me for some reason. I could never quite picture what she looked like after leaving the store, so I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to say hi to her first while shopping, and thus I've stopped going there. Also, I don't have a job.

Why do people always ask you how work's going? Can't they ask you what albums you've been listening to lately, or something? I hate lying about my "job", and fearing that I'll get caught in a lie.

The last time I lost it was when I was grocery shopping with my mom and I felt like everyone was judging me. I felt hot and my mind was racing and I was trying to micromanage my mom's actions to prevent embarrassment to myself, which actually caused much greater embarrassment to myself and so I said "I have to go" and I took the car keys and sat in the car.

Before that I freaked out in a very crowded restaurant when the menu barely had any pescatarian-friendly options and I just couldn't deal.

>>13979220
*employee, not employer

>>13979149
What gets me is when people talk with their mouth full. My mom does it all the time and it pisses me off so much. Also, people that breathe loudly are horrible.

The last time I lost it, I thought I'd be able to kill. I wasn't though.

>>13979149

This is like me, especially the food thing, except I never punched my sister. Also I'm not arsed typing out how shite my life is.

My anxiety cripples me in almost every facet of life.

I even experience anxiety from online bullshit now.

I'm incredibly lonely and empty-feeling. I don't like having panic attacks either.

All in all I just feel like a loser.

>>13979220
Klonopin is good stuff my friend, if you can get a prescription for it you should go for it. Wont affect your brain in a bad way. Just don't take it too many days consecutively (can be addictive). Doesn't really make anxiety go away entirely but it makes you not give a fuck about it, and it makes you very comfy. Would recommend it (as long as you don't get hooked on it).

>>13979350
I actually did get the prescription filled for some reason. Like, the pills are all there, in my closet. I'm just paranoid that taking medication like that will permanently change the way I think, or who I am. I like the sound of feeling comfy, though.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otSw-6vmMRk

>>13979149
What the fuck is wrong with you that you'd punch someone over that? Especially your little sister?

You must have the best life ever if someone chewing loudly is your biggest problem in life.

>>13979384
Not him, and not condoning it, but: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misophonia

>>13979389
I understand it also, it bothers me too. I am autistic and have SPD so some sounds can drive me up the wall as well, but I would never punch anyone over it.

>What the fuck is wrong with you that you'd punch someone over that? Especially your little sister?
Of course I regret punching her over it. If I could go back in time and undo that action, I would. But at that moment, I was so fucking livid that I couldn't control myself. Do you think I took a fucking hour to ponder "Gee, that noise is really irritating, I better punch her"? No. I didn't. I couldn't even think.

>you must have the best life ever if someone chewing loudly is your biggest problem
I never said it was. How presumptuous and rude of you to say that.

I can't go into dark rooms or outside in the daytime. I can relate to the guy who punched his sister; When I was 16 I punched my mother for the same reason. Sometimes I think I'm god and go outside and try to do things gods would do.

>>13979572
>Sometimes I think I'm god and go outside and try to do things gods would do
But really, what the hell.

how many meds do you guys take a day? i'm up to 3 different ones at 400/100/40 mg that help me deal with the anxiety/panic attacks plus acting as a sleep aid, not including the ones i take infrequently for the nausea i get pretty much daily

>>13979381
They won't change the way you think permanently or anything like that, try taking one of em now if you're up for it. You might not even notice it, heh. I tend to be a bit of a hard-head with benzos though, need about double a normal dose to feel stuff. But yeah, zero chance of fucking you up permanently if you just take one. And if they affect you a lot and you get really fucked, all that happens is you get super comfy and fall asleep. Worth a shot, I'd say. Just don't get hooked on them.

>>13979644
You should post what type of medication they are, not just the dosages. Dosages don't really mean anything. I'd llke to hear all the drugs you're on! I am a drug otaku.

I take mxe 2-3 times per week, etizolam about the same. I used mxe daily for a long time but I've been cutting back on it.