/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>13513870
One day long long ago...

>>13513874
What happened then?

>>13513870
kuso thread

>>13513870
THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO...

Long ago in a distant land...

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house while wearing Tomoko's black wig and uniform. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as a tomato and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made me feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my clothes. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said, "Yup."

He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted, "Oh God, Tomoko!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came.

His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me, "Why did we do that? Now I'm totally gay." But he looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'm still Tomoko."

>>13513870
I don't have a story, but here's a poem.

I rest again, an empty night
with only the moon to share my plight;
dream of memories, long forgotten

Your dreams of old are rotten
pale face in lunar light

I long again for past suns to shine
and send their warmth into thoughts of mine
wishing time will spare the only thing I own

You wear this decaying facade like a gown
radiating lies, keeping a life in line

I fear again that which I do not know
fleeing wishes, hopes and dreams in tow,
fleeting towards a place I'll never be

You yearn for a second soul with you to see
and a guiding hand for you to show

But you forgot, oh rightous one, though you fight
that you can't pay the fine
with a burdened heart such as thine
in reckless pursuit you lost your sight
of that one thing you've promised you'll never let go
Wishing it could tell you: "I love you so."

>>13514599
That is a really nice poem

Yeah... it's my life... in my own words I guess...

New blood joins this earth,
And quickly he's subdued.
Through constant pained disgrace
The young boy learns their rules.

With time the child draws in.
This whipping boy done wrong.
Deprived of all his thoughts
The young man struggles on and on he's known
A vow unto his own,
That never from this day
His will they'll take away.

They dedicate their lives
To running all of his.
He tries to please them all –
This bitter man he is.

Throughout his life the same –
He's battled constantly.
This fight he cannot win –
A tired man they see no longer cares.

The old man then prepares
To die regretfully –
That old man here is me.

>>13516356

That's a Metallica song though...

>>13513870
I was writing a greentext

I realized I was on /jp/ and removed the greentext

I continued writing a story by pressing enter after every stanza

I got stuck so I took the captcha

it was one of the ones where they count hamburgers as sandwiches

I got butthurt and complained into the air about image captchas

I considered buying a 4chan pass again

I didn't

I plugged in my computer because it was running low on battery

I found that the story was going smoothly

the captcha expires

I solve it again

I save the OP image because it's another moderately cute picture for me to save and never use

I chugged some soda

I realized my food got cold

I threw it out and cursed myself

I scratched my ass

I jammed my finger up my ass

I started wanting to anal-fap

I'm not so horny that I can get off purely anally. it feels gross to use saliva as dick lube whilst fingering my ass

my marisa fig fell over

I picked it back up

I got super stumped writing my story

the captcha expires

I do the captcha again

I hit post

Reimu, Marisa and Sanae were out hunting for youkai. It was getting late, and the heroines were
getting tired. Somehow, they had succeeded to get lost within the outern fields of Gensokyo. One could
almost say that they were whithin the boundary. After a few hours of being hopelessly lost, they
suddenly bumped into an old, strong youkai. It was Yukari.
"You three have come deep into my terrain", the reality warper explained, "and I have a challenge for
you. Will you succeed, I will guide you out. Will you fail, you will be trapped into my mansion. Will
you take it, or are you going to keep on trying to get out by yourselves?"
After a few moments of pondering, the three humans agreed on the challenge. They were required to pick
a rescourse found whithin Gensokyo and stuff ten of those into their mouths. They could pick any item
to their liking, Yukari would retrieve it for them.
Reimu was first. She picked money, copper coins. It was going very well for her until at the seventh
coin she accidentally swallowed one and had to gag - vomiting the items from her mouth.
Marisa was up next. She decided to pick then pearls from a necklace she had - borrowed - from someone.
It was an easy task and Marisa was about to win, until she started laughing her ass off, spitting the
items from her mouth.
"What the fuck, Marisa", asked Reimu, "you could easily have done that. Why did you fail?"
"It was going very well", the magician answered, "until I started laughing when I saw Sanae gathering
ten men around her."

Sanae Kochiya waited. The condom above her blinked and sparked out of the air. There were whores in the shrine. she didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. Her warnings to Suwacko Morya were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
Sanae was a miko for a few years. When she was young she watched the shrine and she said to dad "I want to suck cocks daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY WHORES"
There was a time when she believed him. Then as she got oldered she stopped. But now in the temple of the Morya Shrine she knew there were whores.
"This is Suwacko" the radio crackered. "You must fight the whores!"
So Sanae gotted her didlo vibrators and blew up the wall.
"SHE GOING TO KILL US" said the whores
"I will shoot at her" said the shameimaru and she fired the h.i.v. eids. Sanae dildoed at her and tried to blew her up. But then the contraceptives fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must kill the whores" she shouted
The radio said "No, Sanae. You are the whores"

>>13516356

Naice..

Naice...

>>13518074
thanks for the naicepost...

>>13518064
And then, Sanae was a slut.

The End

>>13518093

High five, dude, bro.

Preach those lyrics to the choir.

Well, let me tell you something. When me and your mother were just in junior high we went on our first date. But later as we grew I was also somehow two different people. Your mother was a powerful Mew Mew as we have told you. Your mother is a Mew Ichigo. While I was the Blue Knight. Deep Blue and me and myself, but all in the same body! I and Deep Blue had white skin and pointy ears and yellow hair and a BLUE CROSS looking outfit, and saved your mother. But until that form went bad, I was known then as PURE EVIL. Deep Blue. I had white skin and my same hair color was MUCH MUCH longer. I tried to destroy all mankind and all worlds, until I came back as a new me, same as I am now. And me, and Ichiko beat him. We saved everyone and the Earth. Now I just want to tell you, if you become a Mew like your mother, PLEASE fight for good and everything you are born for. Do NOT be afraid to tell your boyfriend most of all tell us, Toya. Please do not HIDE it from us, as well as Ichiko told her parents she was a Mew, Ichigo. As soon as we saved the earth. Just wanted you to know.

LONG AGO IN A DISTANT LAND
I, SANAE, THE CUM-GUZZLING MASTER OF SLUTTINESS
UNLEASHED AN UNSPEAKABLE EVIL!
BUT A FOOLISH USELESS RABBIT WIELDING A BUN GUN
STEPPED FORTH TO OPPOSE ME
BEFORE THE FINAL ZAYAKU WAS SHOT
I TORE OPEN ANOTHER ASSHOLE IN TIME
AND FLUNG HER INTO THE FUTURE
WHERE SEX IS ALWAYS RAW!
NOW THE FOOL SEEKS TO RETURN TO THE PAST
AND UNDO THE FUTURE THAT IS DOUBLE ANAL!

>>13513870
Most of my stories are too big to submit and from other boards, shall I upload the other board stuff anyways?

>>13518316

ZOINKS!

>>13518156

>>13519614
>someone saved my edit
t-thank you.

Two apprentice monks were taking a leisurely stroll in the temple of /jp/ when one saw a snail trying to eat the Abbot's prized lettuces. Worried that their garden would be ruined, she (all /jp/ monks are little girls) shooed the snail away, but the other monk objected: The snail, she reasoned, was only trying to live, and it would starve if the snail were to eat it. No, said the first monk, if you allow the snail to do as it pleases, that would be unfair to the lettuce. They argued fiercely, called each other idiots and shitposters and worse things besides, and eventually, reaching no conclusion after much debate, brought the matter to the Abbot.

The first monk made her case, claiming that she was right to shoo the snail away, and the Abbot listened to her, nodding all the while. But then she said "You're wrong. Get the fuck out of /jp/." And the little girl was thrown into the snail pit to be raped for all eternity.

"I knew it." said the other little girl. "It is wrong to interfere with the course of life, the snail was right to eat the lettuce." But the Abbot turned to her and said "You're wrong too. Get the fuck out". And she was thrown into the lettuce pit to be raped for all eternity.

Just then, a third monk joined the scene and said "I've been eavesdropping on you for a while, and your way of judging things is bullshit. It is you who should get out of /jp/." And she was made the next Abbot of the temple.

And that is the koan of /jp/.

Two apprentice monks were taking a leisurely stroll in the temple of /jp/ when one saw a snail trying to eat the Abbot's prized lettuces. Worried that their garden would be ruined, she (all /jp/ monks are little girls) shooed the snail away, but the other monk objected: The snail, she reasoned, was only trying to live, and it would starve if it couldn't eat the lettuce. No, said the first monk, if you allow the snail to do as it pleases, that would be unfair to the lettuce. They argued fiercely, called each other idiots and shitposters and worse things besides, and eventually, reaching no conclusion after much debate, brought the matter to the Abbot.

The first monk made her case, claiming that she was right to shoo the snail away, and the Abbot listened to her, nodding all the while. But then she said: "You're wrong. Get the fuck out of /jp/." And the little girl was thrown into the snail pit to be raped for all eternity.

"I knew it." said the other little girl. "It is wrong to interfere with the course of life, the snail was right to eat the lettuce." But the Abbot turned to her and said: "You're wrong too. Get the fuck out". And she was thrown into the lettuce pit to be raped for all eternity.

Just then, a third monk joined the scene and said: "I've been eavesdropping on you for a while, and your way of judging things is bullshit. It is you who should get out of /jp/." And she was made the next Abbot of the temple.

And that is the koan of /jp/.

>>13519971
>And she was made the next Abbot
Its abbess, get the fuck out of /jp/

tell me a fable