/jp/ - Otaku Culture

How would she ever find this out? I'd never admit it and my computer wouldn't be in Gensokyo.

>>13231333
Mind reading youkai

>>13231340
I don't fap to youkai I only fap to a human so she will never find out.

>>13231325
I don't fap to Touhous.

>>13231351
But I'm sure you have fapped to them at least once.

I would already raped her even before she found out.

>>13231356
Once at most, I remember finding a doujin that had a lot of things I liked in it but I don't remember if I actually fapped to it or not. Also it did not have my favorite Touhou in it.

>>13231325
2hu's reaction to their own rape doujin

>>13231325
Probably a little creeped out but fine after realizing I'm just in love with her.
Or you know, she'd eat me.

>>13231325
Eirin would be disgusted by the act of being a mortal earthling with desires of a man. She'll get past it though and won't care so long as I don't do it again, or touch her.

>>13231325
Fortunately for me, most of the ones I have saved are not lewd and I can count the times I fapped to them on one hand.

She would probably be more distressed once I tell her that the reason is because there are not very many artists who do lewds that can do her justice so I just don't save a lot of the lewds available.

>>13231372
Thankfully I can't/won't fap to that garbage.

Hopefully something like this set of images.

>>13231325
Sex. Rabbits like to have lots of sex, after all.

Most of my fap material of my favorite youkai I don't have saved. What, is she digging through my history?

>>13231542
Even in 2d, 2d is better.

I've never jerked off to Touhou material.

>>13231642
You're missing out dude.

Which Touhou's would make good wives? Would Eirin make a good wife to an Earthling?

I have some very fucked up Reisein doujins, but I believe in freedom of expression and the capitalist way so I hope Reisen can understand and not BLAM! me with her magic bullet.

>>13231703
Well, I'd never have to pay for medical payments never again.

Maybe she would give me magic moon meds for my depression and anxiety!

>>13231703
I'd marry the shit out of her just for the potential of becoming an immortal myself.

>>13231703
Well, there's Kanako, Akyuu, Suwako, Byakuren (If she'd actually allow that), Keine, and Rin off the top of my head. Potentially, Satori, Sakuya, Yuugi, Parsee (you'd never have to worry about her cheating, at least), Reisen, Kaguya, Letty, Yuuka, and Meiling would make passable wives.

>>13231742
>Kaguya
Didn't she let whole lot of her would be suitors die in impossible task? And she held on to most of the objects she sent them out on? How would she make a good wife?

Then again...

>>13231796
She is cute and a NEET just like me!

End of discussion.

>>13231796
>Suitors
You mean she created impossibles tasks so she didn't have to marry someone among a bunch of random people she didn't know?
Keep in mind those kinds of organized marriages tended to be ass, it was more likely used as a deterrent than any serious consideration for marrying someone.

It probably would've become possible if someone she actually liked was among that number.

Course I don't know shit about the exact mythology involved and are just guessing based on circumstances.

>>13231796
You are going to have to work for it if you want to live an easy life of mooching off of your rich royal wife. Work your ass off once to slack off for the rest of your life. Fair trade, don't you think?

>>13231796
>Didn't she let whole lot of her would be suitors die in impossible task?
Only one of them died according to the original tale.

>And she held on to most of the objects she sent them out on?
They didn't actually find the objects, so it's way more likely that she already had them all.

You're implying I'd let myself have lewd thoughts let alone fap to the Mistress.
>Also loli

>>13231913
a-are you implying it's bad to fap to loli

>>13231703
Best wife who would take care of you, Chen, and Yukari.

>>13231742
>satori

Don't know about that.

>>13231935
She's a shut-in unlikeable fuck but she would always know what you need.

>>13231796
I never said she was good, merely that she was passable. She's in the same category as Yuuka, for example.

>>13231703
The best Touhou to be a wife is the one you love and the one that loves you.

>>13231976
Why do so many people hate Satori? What is it about mind-reading that inherently repulses most everyone? Satori did nothing wrong.

>>13231994
But how would you know she loves you?

>>13231997
She reads your darkest secrets and your darkest fantasies.

>>13231998
I can't answer that.

>>13231998
By the simple fact she's attracted to you, and doesn't cheat on you.

>>13231997
She is also personally annoying, if we go by SA.

>>13232000
Like I said, what's the problem?

>>13232049
You can't have a power like hers and not be cheeky. What you call annoying, I call cute.

I don't think she understands, but I could try to explain

>>13232037
What would you do if it turns out that your least favorite is the one that likes you most?

>>13231340
But I don't like Satori.

>>13232233
Jokingly I couldn't give you a proper response as I would be kidnapped by her followers to become a Buddhist, and live a non-sexual, non-romantic, but heavily platonic relationship with her.

And I really don't want that. I'd probably tell her I'm interested in her, thank her for the interest, and tell her there's better guys than me.

>>13232233
That would be unfortunate. I wouldn't be able to return her affections.

She chokes on my superior white cock. That fucking whore, my sides can't fucking take this lmao

>>13232112
Not being able to finish a sentence is irritating.

>>13231325
The eye colors are backwards in that image.

>>13232518
She's practicing her scary face in the mirror.

>>13231325
me and yookaree would still be BFFs because I'm not an impure heathen

>>13232482
Why would you even need to speak out loud to a mind reader?

>>13232714
Because people usually think faster than they can speak.
And I doubt Satori can follow someone's reasoning if he doesn't slow it down. Hence why you need to speak to a mind reader, if you rely on his power, you'll just leave it behind.

>>13231325
>your favourite

How? I hate every single one of them the same, heck, wouldn't be surprised if I was crowned "youkai of hate" the instant I stepped into gensokyo

>>13232734
>little anon thinks he has enough hate
Bitch you don't know how it is to hate everything you come accross. You don't know how it is to enjoy a video on Youtube, check the comments, and discover that people are so fucking retarded that if you were to slap each moron in the face, you'd die of old age before your task is over.

You don't know how it is to attack some faggot because he's wrong, only to have his entire hugbox defending him because he's an "artist" that draws fucking touhou potatoes.

>>13232734
You don't fucking know how it is to meet people defending their right to be moron believing in conspiracy bullshit and ancient alien theory.
>"hurr durr alien made the pyramid"
>"no they didn't you dumbass"
>"hey if you disagree, don't read my comment"

>>13232740
>you were to slap each moron in the face, you'd die of old age before your task is over.

That won't stop me.

And also what is the total population? From 10.000 to 100.000 youkais? I'm sure I have enough hate for ten times that.

>>13232777
>loser thinks his small hate is enough
What a loser.
To become a youkai of hate, you need to hate everyone. Youkai, AND humans.

This is going to hurt.

>>13232860
Bloomers are a abomination of nature.

>>13231542
Would you mind linking me the set?

>>13232869
>>>iqdb

>>13232872
Oh, I thought it had all the characters. Apparently it's just Nazrin.

>>13232788
To become a youkai of something, you need to put that something before your humanity. Think the guy who built the Killdozer, you need that kind of insanity to pull it off. Not just "flip out and kill people until you get shot", but more in the lines of "build an armored bulldozer and methodically demolish the homes of the select few people who destroyed your own shop". If your hate is as strong as that guy's sense of revenge, you have a shot at it.

You also need people to talk about you.

She would probably call me a weirdo and fly away. I wonder what would happen after that...

>>13231325
>How does she react?
[X] JUMP IN THE LAKE

>>13232037

I'm safe.

>>13231976
Yuuka is hot though.

>>13232900
So dedicate my entire permanence to remove youkai with extreme prejudice while skipping everything that doesn't involve strewing their entrails across the landscape or developing new and better methods to eliminate more on the same day and have it loud and messy enough that they shiver when they hear my name?

Can do.

Ha! What's Youmu gonna do, kill me? Then she'll be stuck with me for good!

I never fap to her images. And I could explain the amount of them by "worship." I think she would love it.

>>13233323
Collecting others' works isn't worship. You have to produce something of your own. Even if it's sperm.

Why do all weeb creatures have an upside down pentagon for a face?

She would show me the real thing!

I would never sexualize little Rumia!

I'd probably be dead before I had any idea what's going on!

>>13231913
>Not dedicating most of your semen production to the Mistress.
She would probably be amused by your actions and proceed to tease you before deciding your worth and killing/hiring you.

Both are good ends.

>>13233662

/jp/ sure is slow!

>>13231333
The Yama knows what youve done in your life.

>>13233801
Bah. A quick spanking, and then going to the corner will make her irrelevant.

>>13233854
Do not disrespect Eiki-sama

>>13233662
Oi, proREMIRIA. Since you are in your lew mood again, mind posting or at least tell me the name of that doujin page you post sometimes where Remilia is having sex with some guy (he has a face), she is hugging him, and in her throes she bares her fangs and a most demonic look, then bites him. The last panel is a close up of her fae as she looks in a state of crying/regret/happiness.

>>13233877
Being a sama or not, if she can be overpowered and spanking, the humiliation will totally destroy her.

>>13233897
if she can be overpowered and spanked*

Sorry, I'm a bit tired. I'll doublecheck next time.

>>13233897
She can't be overpowered and spanked, and it wouldn't destroy her.

>>13233916
Where's your proof?

>>13233957
I can't prove a negative.

>>13233965
Well, here's a picture of Shinki getting spanked. Now, think about it, if Sanae can spank the goddess of the motherfucking demon world, Shikieiki better hide in a closet, because Sanae's going for her ass next.

>>13233983
Fanart. Christ, why did I even bother talking to you?

>>13234025
Still a better proof than yours.
What was YOUR proof? Oh right, you didn't have any. Now you're going to repeat "muh canon" in a pathetic attempt to save face.

>>13234031
>the same two guys from the last good eiki thread are at it again
Get a name ffs so I can filter youse two.

>>13234025
>>13234043
>that damage control
Saijee get the fuck out. Seriously, fuck off.

>>13234043
I try not to talk with this guy, so that probably wasn't me. Which thread was this?

>>13234056
The one where anons found out how to turn Eiki into a perpetual spanking machine.
>>/jp/thread/S12997977

>>13234043
Who died and made you boss?

>>13234071
These guys are heroes.

>>13233891
But I posted it the last time you asked, dude.
http://exhentai.org/s/c4dbfc6ba3/715136-24

>>13234071
Better have a discussion about spanking than having 299 posts saying "Eating semen with Yamachang."

>>13234071
Oh, shit, I was in that thread a lot. Don't remember any spanking machine, though.
Which two are the offenders?

Self explanatory.

>>13233662
I actually have my fair share in doing house work he like, I'm far more competent that a Fairy Maid. Also nah, Remi is the most pure grill, I refuse to fap to her.

>>13234096
The two called "Anonymous" and "Anonymous".

>>13234113
You can't be pure and chaotic evil at the same time.

>>13234117
Please be specific. I don't want to be grouped with the spankfag.

>>13234071
>Are her panties black or white?
That's actually a very good question.

>>13234130
I think he's talking about the one whose name starts with "Anon" and ends with "Ymous".

>>13234135
Just quote some post numbers already. It's what the VIPpers do

>>13234031
Isn't she supposed to be impossibly, insanely strong, as a Yama? Like,
Reimu, Yukari, and Yuyuko together would have not the slightest hope of beating her. I think your work would be cut out for you.

>>13234169
>Reimu, Yukari, and Yuyuko together would have not the slightest hope of beating her
After playing PoFV, I'm sceptical.

>>13234177
Yeah, because we all know Cirno can beat up Yuuka. Just because you can do it in the game doesn't indicate their actual power level. Shiki Eiki is on another level of power, and it's onuy her duties as a Yama and her adherence to the laws of heaven that hold her back.


That estimate comes from Yukari, by the way.

>>13234185
Don't begin talking about powerlevel. That shit is the Godwin point of Touhou, if you start talking about it, the only thing we'll agree on is that we're disagreeing.

And I still want to give her a spanking. A good, hard spanking with her own rod.

>>13234201
It's too heavy for you to lift, and would only strike her with the weight of her own sins.


Since she's a Yama, that would be.... None.

>>13234209
>It's too heavy for you to lift
Why? I just want to spank the Yama on her bare ass. It's not like I murdered people or scammed a widow out of her money, dooming her to kill herself to escape her misery.

>>13234215
Because you are mortal. You have sinned, and those sins add up.

Also, wanting to sexually assault a divine being is sinful. Even if we're going to assume she doesn't just overpower you and deliver judgement proportional to your crimes.

>>13234126
Several canon sources states that she's actually nowhere near malicious enough to be called a devil and despite her bloody needs she's actually just childish while her charismatic self (i.e EoSD, IN, etc) are more of a facade. Hell, in Remilia's acrticle in Perfect Memento in Strict Sense one of the eyewitness reports tells of some guy who was so hurt he couldn't move but someone from the SDM took him in and nursed him back to health and that Remi was actually surprisingly polite and kind. She's just childish, selfish and bratty but not outright malicious.

>>13234086
Close, but no. It was another one.What I comment happened all in one page.

Guess I'll keep searching.

>>13234278
Some people just want so badly for touhou to be grimdark. They hate secondaries and waifufags so much, they want to be contrarian by being edgelords instead.
They've lived long enough to see themselves become villains.

>>13234278
Look up the actual meaning of the terms as used in the scale.

Gensokyo seems like an utopic wonderland at first clance. But the deeper you go, the more it becomes apparent that the place is a deathtrap. Things are bad for those involved, even the supposed predators. The only reason they exist is because the local human population still believes in the boogeyman, and the moment that something really bad like a plague hits the human population,it will all be downhill from there.

>>13234397
I honestly wouldn't go to gensokyo if given the chance.

>>13234397
>something really bad like a plague hits the human population
Nothing like that happens in Gensokyo. If it does, Reimu puts a stop to it.

>>13234415
Reimu is, at the end of the day, a miko, and unless her intuition kicks in enough to have her affecting quarantines and proper disposal of the dead (i.e. removing bodies in such a way as to have them not spread the disease and optimally burning them), then a plague, an entirely non-sentient actor and something she's not used to dealing with, she'd be pretty deep over her head if she was tasked with stopping a plague.

Unless it was caused by nurglings or plague-marines or some shit that's a discrete personnage which can be defeated, but she'd be out of her depth against those, too.

Mind you the seal between Gensokyo and the outside world should keep outside contagions at bay, foreign sicknesses transported by trade being a common cause of plague and epidemic throughout history, so she probably doesn't have to worry about ebola or whatever hitting gensokyo.

>>13234415
>>13234526
Don't forget Eirin's pharmacy.

>>13234526
How naive.

>>13234547
Which part?

>>13233050
Fire is also hot, and both will kill you if you get too close or she gets bored.

>>13234526
You need to understand that if Gensokyo worked on outside world rules, it wouldn't be Gensokyo.

>>13231703
Always keeps the house clean, and is always on time

>>13234126
Well that really depends on what you mean by "pure". Arguably an entity that does not know the difference between right and wrong that does a lot of things that would be considered to be evil could be pure and chaotic evil.

>>13234526
But objects and people drift into Gensokyo all the time. People in gensokyo must be constantly exposed to your run of the mill bacteria and virus as any of us are.

And Ebola is only an issue because Africa and its inhabitants are unwashed savages.

>incident

This thread ended up going in some strange directions. But maybe it leads to Gensokyo.

>>13234971
That would be chaotic neutral.

>>13235217
In D&D (where the alignment system originates) for the purpose of determining alignment there is objective good and evil. So even if they don't understand that what they are doing is evil, they will still count as evil as long as they do more evil than good.

>>13231913
>>13233528
Samefag. They're both Sakuya!

>>13234302
http://exhentai.org/s/8643a42890/582147-14
most likely.

>>13232233
post yfw you receive a marriage proposal from the five magic stones

I don't fap to 2d
it's too pure

>>13235231
>>13234278
Both of you, again, please look it up.

Fuck it, I'll go to wikipedia for you and paste the fucking text myself.
>Animals are considered Neutral even when they attack innocents, because they act on natural instinct and lack the intelligence to make moral decisions.
Now read this again, slowly >>13234971

>>13231325
Lack of males in Gensokyo = possibility of Touhous wanting to explore their sexuality beyond any lesbian relationships they had/have.

She might be quite flattered and curious..

Or she'll simply just kill you.

>>13235449
What makes you think that there's a lack of males in Gensokyo? The fact is that only little girls are the protagonists/antagonists, but there's a normal number of males in Gensokyo.

>>13235465
Secondary.

>>13235491
Oh, I'm profusely offended by being called a secondary from someone who says that the touhous are lesbians.

>>13235491
>says the 2hus are lesbians
>calls other people secondaries

I'm sure Ran-sama will understand. She'll still love me. I'll make her love me.

>>13235446
So you're saying she's stupid/retarded like a frilled lizard?

>>13234938
Why would anyone want to marry Jack the Ripper?

>>13235342

>>13235491
>Refuses the knowledge that there's a number of males in Gensokyo.
>Calls the other people secondaries for refuting this.

kek

Nice trolling brah
Now kill yourself

>>13235661
I am glad he found some place to live in peace.

>>13235562
Don't you want to be married to a legend?

>>13235675
When the dead die again they go to gensokyo!

>>13235495
>>13235526
>>13235661
I meant to explain why >>13235449 thought there's a lack of males in Gensokyo. Guess I didn't do that well. Oops.

>>13235661
>kek

>>13236830
Oh, so I guess that's alright.