/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>13023918
I hate desert girls!

>>13023918
First for the Spice must flow.

[bullying intensifies]

>>13023921
Oh you little bugger, didn't you say you'd stop?

So I finally sat my ass down and got some more writing done.
http://pastebin.com/NjKtFVKb

In which a young knight rubs down an Apophis in the bath.

Though sadly, the focus is more on her and not on the actual massaging act. Sorry.

>>13023922
Sandworms are truly the most beautiful of all the girls.

I would do anything for her!

>>13023918
Mice are best dakis.

>>13023924
Anon the first thing you should know about me is that I am a huge liar.

>>13023932
Good evening, nyanon

>>13023933
Sasuga, Villain-kun.

Proper bio for Chris is now up.

http://anonymoosesaga.pbworks.com/w/page/85548586/Christophaclies

>>13023923
Please bully her nicely, she cries easily.

>>13023938
Goodnight, future alp-chan.

>>13023946
I'm going to show her Passchendaele and no one is going to stop me!

>>13023951
What's the price of a mile, anon?

>>13023951
That's mean.

>>13023958
Roughly 250,000 human lives.

>>13023951
>your waifu will never tightly grip you after showing her multiple war movies and documentaries in a row
>she will never let you leave the house for a week, making sure to never hurt you


Oh man it would be even worse if you did that to your daughteru when she needs to be punished

So after it being brought up in the last thread, I watched Edward Scissorhands.

I'm depressed now, but god damn does that concept work perfectly with Monster Girls. Writefags, please. Heck, what are some Monster Girls that would fit that? Last thread it was brought up one being a Big Dragon Girl and a frail human boy, but what else? A massive Arachne and a human boy with Arachnaphobia? A Manticore with particularly potent and large stingers?

I'm still a bit creeped out that Chowder somehow knew who I was.

>>13023955
I may or may not want Auntie Yuuna to bully and tease me.

>Not wanting to be buried in tits.

>>13023948
>future alp-chan
>future
Yes. Future.

>>13023973
>People will think of Yuuna anytime a fox is posted
Alright

>>13023971
You are staking each one of the MGKs and voting for Anubis every time.
It's not like he's also the guy who can tell who you are from the way you type.

I'm six foot one and I look like I could kill a man just by looking at him wrong, but when I see a spider bigger than a nickle I scream like a bitch.

God help me if I see an Arachne or Ushi

>>13023968
If I need to punish her, I could tell her that boys as young as 15 lied about their age to join the war, only to die virgins in a land thousands of miles away from home.
Or tell her how many men her great-grandfather killed in Iwo Jima.

>>13023989
Better yet.

Tell your weeb daughteru about the nuke dropped on the Japanese

>>13023951
As long as you don't bully her like:
http://youtu.be/Hkb1XLn3IsU?t=22m15s
We'll be fine.

>>13023992
Praise the sun

>>13023988
When I was in the army, I knew a guy who was afraid of not only spiders, but all things small and crawly. He once ran out of the tent half-naked because he saw a hairy caterpillar.

>>13023971
It doesn't take a genius to bridge that connection.

>>13023928
This is, like, a part of something bigger?

>>13024010
I'm hoping it will be.

>>13024011
Apophis flashbacks please.

>>13024002
I went out camping with some friends once and I straight up roundhouse kicked him in the back because there was a spider on him.

To this day they say it was the fastest I have ever moved in my life.

>>13023987
Well, I guess. But that only shows that I pay attention to Anubis. But it is hard to miss the abysmal nature of the Girtablilu he puts in...

Wouldn't it be crazy if he was Creeper-kun too though?

>>13024006
I-I don't...wait, AnonMD?

>>13024013
You mean, now, or...?
Cuz I don't think I would get to writing a full chapter on what happened.

>>13023981
I'm just as surprised by it as you are, anon. I'm surprised anyone remembers her at all to be honest. I don't think I did good on that one in retrospect.

>>13024024
>now
I'm not in that much of a hurry. At all would be enough.
>

>>13023928
>If I got to sleep with three handsome men cuddling up to me like this, I'd die on the spot
What a slut.

>>13024025
Wasn't your best.

Got anything new in the works?

Would you an insecure Saiyan General?

>>13024031
No, those saiyans have a nasty habit of dying repeatedly.

>>13024031
Yes.

>>13024028
>tfw Medusa is probably going to be the crowd's hate-favorite
Oh dear, what have I done.

I don't get it, why is this creepy?

All I'm getting is a boner from those eyes.

>>13024030
Still plodding along on the Kejourou story, and am seriously thinking about cutting most of the smut since it's supposed to be a healing story rather than just porn. I've got the main plot for the Manticore+Paladin police story down, though, so I should be able to move quickly into that and finish it by the end of this week.

>>13024037
It's ok anon, we can't all have proper self-preservation instincts, jut stay away from high cliffs and poisonous animals

>>13024036
I was just kidding, but given how that was the case back with the greentexts a few threads ago, you're probably right regardless.

>>13024038
>Manticore + Paladin Police Story
Sounds interesting.

>>13024037
Oh god shoot it with a shotgun and don't stop until you're sure she's dead.

>>13024040

But red eyes are pretty.

>>13024042

I like your idea.

It's even better if she's a ghost!

>>13024019
Creeper-kun's still here.

>>13023918
this thread comes at a good time for me.

>>13024041
It could be interesting.
I'm not so sure how well mgt will take a protagonist and MC in his mid forties when his romantic interest is in her early twenties. Still, people wanted somewhat gentle taildom so they're getting it.
Anyway, the general premise is that a paladin-police officer is working for internal affairs to root out corruption, but is saddled with a rookie straight out of MGCU with her criminal law degree. You know, cop movie stuff, but one of them is a manticore and the other is a reasonable paladin. Also, they fall in love despite his best efforts to encourage her to find someone younger.

>>13024043
You sound like a fly or something that's going towards a bug zapper.

Have fun anon.

>>13023918

How do you feel about Nightmares?

>>13023922

>>13024056
Look who's here! Now it's a party!

>>13024054

You're just close minded and can't see true beauty.

Pic related is my waifu. Ghosts are great.

>>13024060
my waifu had one when I showed her the knife scene from Saving Private Ryan, poor girl was clutching her chest and crying hysterically until she woke up
oh, you meant the horse pussy one. They're alright.

>>13024053
Interesting premise. Quite different from the other story involving a cop and a manticore.

Looking forward to reading it.

>>13023923

>>13023969
>A massive Arachne and a human boy with Arachnaphobia
There was a good greentext like that in the thread before last I think?
>A Manticore with particularly potent and large stingers?
A manticore with toxic venom was also mentioned in that thread I think

>>13024060
One of only three girls I'd call a "Waifu".

>>13023928

>>13023928
Was a good read. Made me rather interested in the Apophis' history.

So like, Apophis Street Rat taken in by Pharaoh Princess, and lives happily in the Palace, until the day some Divine Entity convinces her to do something horrible that ruins everything? Sounds like pretty 'good' suffering.

>>13024069
I'm sorry anon but if I look at a girl and think "oh god shoot it with a shotgun using shells laced with holy water" I think I'd rather do that.

>>13024069
I want to jump into her arms while she's trying to be all edgy and spooky.

>>13024084
But the scary ghost is a separate part of her. The good part is %100 qt

>>13023932

>>13024083
Yeah, that's the gist of what happens.

>>13024087
She's still getting sent back to hell, or wherever the fuck she came from.

>>13024090
Well, not exactly hard to figure out.

Still, could be interesting to read if you ever do write a flashback chapter like that other anon was asking about.

>>13023943

>>13024091
But she's so nice!

>>13023955

>>13024102
Y'know apparently this same artist started a new series that seemed to epitomize "Harem a shit".

I read the first two chapters, and have no idea if it's even still going on.

>>13024102

>You will never be dressed by a cute ghost after you passed out because you got a surprise face full of ghost tits

>>13024102
Back.
To.
Hell.

No exceptions!
I take pride in knowing that I'd be all alone in a monster girl setting.

>>13024108

You're a fucking shit mate.

Nothing but fear and hatred for what you don't understand.

>>13023976

>>13023971

You are the easiest person here to recognize. If its a post about Anubis then you're generally behind it.

>>13024108
But they just want to see your smile.

>>13024113
But neither my post nor any in the chain had anything to do with Anubis!

>>13024111
You know it.

That kind of ignorance is what's kept me alive for so long, no way am I ditching it if MGs become real.

>>13024119
You're weird.

>>13023992

>>13024108
>>13024119
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.

>>13024119


That's a very strange mindset for someone in this thread.

>>13024121
I'm a survivor.

I haven't been betrayed once in my whole life and I intend on keeping it that way.

I mean, sure it gets lonely but what can you do?

>>13024031

>>13024037

>>13024106

The artist is Maybe.

That's the general sentiment for the series it seem. Magio, the group that did Dusk Maiden dropped it.

Personally I think it's still to early to write it off. There's barely been any interaction with the second girl at all and the MC is still dead set on having the first girl be the target of his affection.

>>13024130
>But what can you do?
Uh...there's a number of things you can do.

>>13024143
Yeah I read the first 3 and then didn't bother checking back for any. Seems it's up to 8 on Batoto now, so I might as while catch up.

>>13024069

>>13024145
Anon if being an unlikable jerk has kept me from being betrayed and safe all these years, why would I stop?

I mean sure I might have lost a good amount of potential friends but that's fine.

What the hell is with all these random blingee pictures clogging up our picture count?

>>13024154
I mean, to each their own, I suppose.

>>13024156
Don't worry about it, anon. Just ignore it.

>>13024156

I was wondering that too. I was assuming everyone was ignoring him though.

Which is what I plan to do. But yeah, he's a shit.

>>13024156
Just keep quiet and report.

>>13024102

>>13024154
So instead of at least attempting to be happy and possibly I repeat POSSIBLY being betrayed, you prefer being a sad little shit for your entire life.

>>13024154

You're confusing the 3DPD world with the 2D world.

Both need different standards applied to them.

>>13024164
Yep, being happy makes you a target anon.

It's better to suffer behind a mask of dudebro jerkness and ignored than being a target.

>>13024171
Just keep telling yourself that.

Can we please stop responding to the guy blogging about his life?

>>13024179
Yeah it is.

You see if you act like that and push monsters away, you got a good chance at getting one you want.

All according to plan anon, all according to plan.

>>13023923

I want to be her childhood friend.

>>13024189
But you already are.

I like paladin stories.

I'v exhausted the pastebin of paladin stories.

Write more paladin stories!

My ego demands it!

>>13024189
>You will never be the childhood friend to a shy little Apophis
>You will never watch her get teased when she invites you to her house, and you meet her adoptive Pharaoh mother
>You will never constantly be by her side as she grows up (And fills out in all the right places)
>You will never have the scorn and envy of every guy in high school for the gorgeous grapesnake who clings and hangs off you with a majestic smile on her face.

>>13024192

>>13024195

Honestly the species isn't that important for me.

I just want to grow up with a monster childhood friend.

Though a childhood friend dragon has a special appeal for me.

>>13024203
Cause she'd show you her hoard of chocolate coins?

>>>http://pastebin.com/cvKMWyNs

'Nother Greyguard update which sees a very brief return to Ranuinne. I can't help but notice that if not for the more regular updates greyguard has compared to the others, my shorter stories far outstrip the longer one in terms of views. Is it because it's so damn long? Just curious. 'cause it's only gunna get longer, huehuehue

Update starts at line 1707

>>13024204

I hadn't considered that.

That's fucking weapons grade cute.

>>13024192
What kind of paladin stories? That doesn't narrow it down. Gauf mentioned in this thread that one was on the way, though.

>>13024216
Smiting paladins, redeemed paladins, fallen paladins. Any flavour of religious/idealogical zealotry is good zealotry.

>>13024208
>Eating chocolate coins with her
>Not knowing something is off
>Maybe it's the Wersheep eyeballing you through the window, or the Wurm pretending to be a chocolate coin, but you just can't put your finger on it

>>13024221
>redeemed
>paladin
I.... Don't think it works like that.
We'll see.

>>13024203
I can agree with that anon. Childhood Friends a best. Shame every girl I've known since childhood turned out "Normal".

Dragons also a best.
Wyverns are good too, pretty well designed for childhood friend fantasies.

>Still haven't started on that Dragoon Academy Story
>Still haven't finished Pharaoh and Apophis Story

I need to figure out better ways to motivate myself.

>>13024223
Bah, I'm not thinking straight. By redeemed I meant a paladin that falls down and gets back up.

>>13024227
Define "Falls down", in this case.

>>13024225
>implying any of those girls would ever consider you as a mate

>>13024227
Ah, that makes sense. Repentant sinners, huh?

Sometimes it takes a long fall to show you how high you can get. Nowhere to go but up.

>>13024229
Loses faith in its cause.

>>13024230
I thought we were being nice to each other for once anon, why've you gotta be like that?

Unless you were talking about the real ones, in which case, obviously they wouldn't.

>>13024236
The real ones, although I suppose that would apply to imaginary girls if they could meet you.

>>13024238
Well, still hurts either way anon.

Can't we just go back to being nice to each other for once?

>>13024227
how many paladin are there exactly

>>13024240
Sure,whatever. The first step to solving a problem is admitting it exists.

Make her happy and blazing, snoopguy

>>13024244
You're not solving a problem so much as just finding an excuse to be a dick.

>>13024243
As many as it takes to reclaim jerusalem.

>>13024243
It depends what you mean by "how many". In MGC? MGE?

In MGC there are probably about a thousand Paladins total, though only half of them are currently active and faithful. There are no active paladin orders, since the church is minor and its back broken, most Paladins don't even worship the chief god as much as an intangible god or goddess of justice.

In MGE, Paladins likely number in the tens of thousands, with most being Heroes or knights, but a few wandering do-gooders to dispense justice, healing, and mercy. Paladin orders are fairly common, and are attached to knightly orders.

>>13024245

>>13024244
>Implying anyone here will ever be anything than a creepy little faggot.
>Stalking the internet
>Fantasizing about Monster Girls and Waifus
>Wasting away, absent to the passing of the real world.
>Destined to die old, cold, and alone.

>>13024254
Who let this edgy, cynical fuck in here?

>>13024254
It's not impossible to have multiple interests and do more with your life. I have friends, go to bars, go to the gym, and like weird manga porn.

>>13024256
What? It's true.
The vast majority of people here are delusional failures who contribute nothing to the world around them.

The "Solution" the other anon mentioned a moment ago?
It's a bullet to each of our heads.

>>13024260
When you kill yourself, pls stream it

>>13024260
>contribute nothing
But anon, we contribute to one another!

>>13024260
Speak for yourself, not all of us are NEETs. For some this is a small hobby, a distraction for a couple of minutes.

>>13024267
>couple of minutes
What do you get out of a thread like this in "a couple of minutes"?

>>13024260
>not contributing to the circle of life
>being a sentient computer virus
Nice try, faggot.exe

>>13024263
>Implying I have the balls to off myself
>Implying I'm not a selfish asshole who's decided to keep living.
>Knowing that he's just wasting people's time, money and resources by doing so.

>>13024273
I didn't know making yourself suffer was selfish

>>13024254
>implying I'm a creepy little faggot
MC-kun, don't force your opinions on others.

>>13024276
Of course it is.

>>13024269
I read fast.
Couple of laughs, some cute stories, and some images. It's not like you need to spend your time mashing the refresh or update to enjoy the thread.

>>13024252
I'd say they would actually be pretty rare. 'Holy knight' archetypes would be common, but paladins are supposed to be the best and most true-hearted among them. Like regular army vs special forces.

>>13024298
A paladin would be rare, true, which is why there are only 500 in a metropolis. And honestly they are most interested in dealing with crime, suffering and poverty, so social work and policing work.

In MGE, on the other hand, God herself is still dishing out powers like it's going out of style, so rather than the usual vigorous tests of character, love of goodness and justice they probably give paladinhood to any particularly virtuous knight, rather than them really earning it.

>>13024252
i actually tried to ask how many paladin stories are there, but fucked it up, still is good to know this info, there is never enough knowledge

>>13024298
>>13024304
>more paladin talk
Eww.

>>13024307
Infidel detected.

>>13024307
Creature of wickedness detected.

>>13024313
This poster is under the protection of the Mooquisition.

>>13024305
He's really pulling all of it out of his ass.

MGE never uses the term paladin, and their role is provided functionally by heroes.

MGC doesn't have official anything and has ranged from remnants of the Order to Paladin highschool programs that promote chastity to Community Paladin police forces to Riot Knights to a group of 12 special investigators with the title of Paladin that function like the Texas Rangers.

>>13023965
Wouldn't it be more along the lines of 90,000 a mile?

My math sucks but it would be around there or something right? Maybe.

>>13024324
Well, yeah.
But Paladin is mentioned ALL THE TIME in threadcanon as godblessed holy Knights.

Well? What is your choice?

And someone tell me what font this is, I think I might make a new one.

>>13024337
Don't know about the font, but Krampus all the way.

>>13024324
You're right in that he's pulling shit out of his ass, and that the MGE never uses the term "Paladin".

But Heroes are a bit more complicated. Based on what I can recall from the settings documents, "The Order" divides itself into two factions. Normal parishioners and such, and a more militarized group that would likely act as "Paladins". Heroes, meanwhile, are something almost entirely separate. They are "God's Chosen", blessed and empowered by the Chief God with the express purpose of taking down the Demon Lord.

Out of the Fallen Maidens, for instance, both Wilmarina and Sasha were "Heroes", but only Sasha was a straight-up member of the Order, and as a pious nun, rather than a Paladin.

I'm not entirely sure where "Magical Girls" like Mimiru fit in.

>>13024329
And slut is used for any girl that's gotten laid once before their current boyfriend. If you're talking about specifics in a conversation, then you talk about specfics or at least use a qualifier.

Instead you're saying "This is" and "There are" like they're facts. Is it so hard to type "I would think" or "I like to think" to show that you're giving nothing but pure headcanon speculation?

>>13024325
Ok, I broke out a calculator for this and it is aparently 83,333 men per mile.

I want to fuck an invisible MG for how kinky it would be!

>>13024354
I remember and episode of Buffy Vampireslayer where Buffy had turned invisible and then proceeded to have sex with Spike for this reason.

>>13024346
Well seeing as there is nothing BUT rampant speculation for MGC, I'm not particularly worried about that part, as it's literally all up to the individual author.
As for the MGE part: yes, I probably should have qualified it. Sorry? That doesn't mean that the thread doesn't talk about Paladins literally non stop instead of 'order knights/soldiers' like they officially are in canon. They are generally agreed to have certain characteristics (armored, use a melee weapon, generally combat monsters, have divine blessings or at least holy magic, etc). I think there's less to worry about here than you might think.

>>13024337

>>13024359
That is literally the only scene of Buffy I remember.

>>13024359
>>13024373
Only scene from Buffy I remember, or indeed have even actually ever seen, gave me a blood fetish.

>>13024373
>Spike, what are you doing?
>Pushups...
>In the bed?
>Yes.
>Naked?
>Yes.
Priceless.

>Chubby, shy satyr with glasses

>>13024408
So it would seem. But I don't see any Chupacabra hickies.

>>13024408
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
I find this level of chub acceptable

What would be a fun name for the island Philosowurm lives on?

>>13024408

Why do people with a glasses fetish almost never like the good ones? It's always some ridiculous 60's horn rim look or big round nerdy ones. Whatever happened to a tasteful professional look that doesn't look like some overly severe librarian wearing headgear half a century out of date?

>>13024423
>overly severe librarian wearing headgear half a century out of date
Isn't that what the fetish is about?

>>13024424
No. And that's why so much of the content blows.

>>13024423
I like half-frames.

>>13024422
The Isle of Contemplizard.

>>13024422
Isla Nublar

>>13024428
>Contemplizard
I feel like this would require some kind of a story behind it.
>>13024431
I don't get it.

>>13024428
>I like half-frames.

I like you. We can be friends.

>>13024433
It's the island from Jurassic park.

>>13024436
Explain further.

>>13024436
It's okay buddy. I got your reference.

Why would she be on an island anyway though? Scientists and philosophers thrive on contact and ideas shared with people in their fields.

>>13024437
I dunno, just thought about a giant scaly thing living on an island and that came to mind.
Not that a Wurm would try to make dinosaurs so she'd have pets. Definitely not.

>>13024440
I want her to be on an island because.
>>13024443
>Wurm walking an Argentinosaurus on a leash
The horror, the horror.

>>13024443
I'm reminded of that scene from one of the dinosaur movies where a rich girl wanders off and is eaten by little dinosaurs.

http://pastebin.com/DtU8qHDt
>You give one last retching heave into the chamber pot then lean back to catch your breath.
>Three fucking weeks of this. Most mornings it doesn't come up, just sits inside, churning your stomach in agonizing nausea for a few hours.
>You are supposed to be at work soon.
>You give the chamber pot a baleful glare. You should take it out and empty if before you leave.
>You stand and stretch, bumping into something as you do.
>Turning around, you find Alex standing behind you, clutching a pillow. He doesn't say anything, just stands there squeezing the stuffing out of it.
>You sigh. He has been getting increasingly worried since it started. It was easy enough to reassure him at first, but it got a lot harder when he stopped buying your excuses.
>"I'm fine. Really."
>"You're lying. Are you going to die? The only person I knew who was sick for so long was a homeless guy and he turned blue and his stomach popped and green stuff came out."
>Force yourself to swallow back down the bile brought up by that image.
>"I'm not dying, I promise. It's just something that happens to women. It'll go away eventually."
>He nods but shifts from worry to pouting. He has the air of a man who knows he is being lied to but chooses not to press the issue. He has gotten really good at making you feel guilty.
>You could just tell him. You need to eventually anyways. But every time you try you get nervous and change the subject.
>It has gotten to the point that you don't even really know why you aren't telling him, you just avoid it on instinct.
>You decide to set the matter aside for now. Again.
>You give Alex a pat on the head then turn for the door, but stop short with a jerk.
>You look over your shoulder and discover he has abandoned the pillow in favor of your tail.
>"Alex? I've gotta go to work now."
>Nothing.
>"Alex?" You look around, making sure nobody can overhear despite being in your own home, then say in a slightly quieter voice, "H-honey?"

>>13024451
>Not remembering Isla Sorna

"Oooh. Ahhh. That's how it starts. Then later there's running and screaming."

Wow, have I wanted to do this for a while. The prologue is complete, wherein we are introduced to the paladins, and one in particular. We learn about humanity, about history, and about monsters all through the lens of a particularly bitter man. It's unfortunate - I've planned so far ahead that the urge to spoil things is overwhelming. Suffice to say that this tale will look more closely at the "demonic" monsters, whether they be actual demons or simply particularly hated. We'll see succubi, devils, amazons, and a couple other worse ones (from his standpoint, anyway).

http://pastebin.com/u/Lanternon2

With luck, I'll be able to do this more regularly than the last story. This is assuming that this cold doesn't flare up too badly and that my body acquires something similar to an immune system before I catch the next.

>>13024454
Mommy, why is Mr. Goldblum talking to himself in the car?

>>13024455
Why you gotta to this now? I can't work on my own shit if I'm reading yours.

>>13024455
>The last few rays of human freedom
Days?

>>13024451
>>13024454
Jurassic Park 2 was alright

>>13024452
>About to go to sleep
>Alex and Eris update
Oh well my bed can wait a bit.

>Then say in a slightly quieter voice, "H-honey?"
Too damn cute.

>>13024463
Imagine that scene though, with little baby Wurm and a little boy instead of a rich girl.

>>13024463
I would go so far to say that everything before shit started going down was fucking fantastic. Everybody thought they had a handle on everything and Goldblum was like "I know better. Oh god, when is the shoe going to drop?"

>>13024473
But instead of eating him people find she giving a cuddling storm to the shota, rigrh?

>>13024478
Yes.
All of them cuddle him like there's no tomorrow or Santa

>>13024455
Okay, I want to see where this is going, write, write damn you!

>>13024408

Ara, you're looking to have your wish granted? Aww, I'm sorry boy, but I can't do it alone! There are seven sisters, of which I am one, each with an orb. Bring them all into one place and any one of us can grant your wish!
You wouldn't mind terribly if I asked you to go into my sisters' shrines to borrow their orbs, would you?

>>13024455
Why do you use another account?

Holsts are love

>>13024527
He... what?

>>13024528
Gave her some pizza afterwards to congratulate her being a big girl when her ear was pierced

>>13024523
>"But what if you're my wish?"

>>13024535
>This kills the Ryu

>>13024532
But why would the dad need to tag his daughter? Can he not tell her apart from the other Holsts on the farm?

>>13024538
It's her first earring, duh.

>>13024523

>>13024537
That's when you take her claw, put your hand to her cheek, and say, donning the best pretty-boy eyes and sparkles that you can, "Nah, I'm just fucking with ya, I prefer older sister-types to straight Christmas Cake. Don't worry, I'll get those sisters of yours you need to fulfill my wish."

Teasing Monster Girls is a dangerous game, but I live life on the edge. I mean, what's she gonna do? Rape me?

>>13024538
She wanted an earring and he and her mother thought it over and decided to let her have one.
He promised if she could be a big girl about it he'd reward her.

>>13024527

>>13024544
>>13024552
>lets her daughter pierce her ear
>she can be who she is and have no regrets

What a great dad.

>>13024559
He even took her to her favorite pizza place, Piestrong's, and bought her a pizza and milkshake.

>>13024452
>"About time."
>The boss's second, an anubis with a silly name nobody can ever remember, greets you in her usual, annoying tone.
>"Kayla and Annie got her nearly half an hour ago." You glance past the anubis and see the wurm and Kayla, one of the amazon sisters, sitting on crates in the warehouse.
>Your group's base is a large building in the port district that combines a small warehouse with a suite of offices. Originally intended for high priced imports, it also works well for a smuggling operation - though that's only part of what the group does.
>The warehouse often serves as the de facto common room of the building.
>The anubis continues, "We're heading for market district, some of the establishments under our protection have been having trouble with...what is that?" She points behind you.
>You don't look. You try to think of what to say but Annie saves you the necessity.
>"Ohhh, is Alex coming too?" She calls. "How nice. Annie 2 is coming too, she doesn't trust us to do it alone." The wurm rolls her eyes.
>"Anket. My name is Anket, not Annie 2. And I don't trust you to do it alone because the last time I sent you and Eris to protect a business, you ate half the poor man's stock and Eris set his warehouse on fire!"
>"I put it out," you mutter as Annie objects "He said I could have some!"
>Annie 2 ignores you both and points to Alex, still stubbornly clinging to your tail, "Your husband? Congratulations."
>Somewhat surprised, you say your thanks and she goes on, "You can't bring him. There could be fighting today."
>"I wasn't going to-" you start but are cut off by Alex.
>"Eris is dying!"
>Kayla and the anubis give you odd looks but Annie shouts "Oh no! What happened?"
>"She's been sick for weeks. She was throwing up this morning." You want to shush him but the despair in his voice pricks at your conscience.
>You look at the others "T-thats just-"
>"Oh that~ I know what that is." Sadie says from behind you as she takes Alex by the shoulders.

>>13024455

I really enjoyed it so far. Looking forward to more.

Noted a couple minor typos if you care. You repeat the cot description early on and use signal honor instead of single honor in the award ceremony. There were I couple more but I got so caught up in reading that they've already fizzled out of my short term memory.


And there's a lot of places where you single space instead of double spacing when breaking up paragraphs even though you double space new dialog but I think that's just more your style than anything.

>"Baba....I wuv Baba..."

>>13024608
What a beautiful creature I have sired!

>>13024031
I thought super-pooper-scoopers were just legend!

>>13023943

By the looks of the bio though, it seems that Domdracveria was part of the Empire during the battle, but now it seems that the Principality is hostile to the Empire. Wonder what happened to that?

Speaking of the Empire and these bios though, hopefully the narrative is set out straight or is explained also in the main story to avoid any inconsistencies:

for one thing, according to Rose's bio about the Emperor, he only had 3 sons by then, but at the time the story is taking place, he is is 90 yrs old w/ 7 sons (c48). This means that in between the Emperor's 70th and 90th year, he was still able to impregnate the Empress, at most 4 times

However, according to Duke Malco (c48), the youngest son is a "backstabbing snake;"
assuming that the Empress did not give birth to triplets during the 70th yr of her husband (w/c would make the youngest son 20 yrs old at the time of the story),
and assuming that the Empress was immediately pregnant (that's one sick yet agile Emperor!) immediately after the previous prince was born,
this would mean that the last son would be born after 36 months (4 sons x 9 months per son) or 3 years after the Emperor became sick (20 yrs ago).

>inb4 Moose introduces 17 yr old Imperial Prince Joffrey the Horrible, Usurper of the Imperial Throne & makes him the Big Bad (on the Empire's side)

>>13024593
Bless that Cheshire and her antics.

A part of me wants to say "Anubi make everything better".

>>13024192
>Not wanting to embark on jolly cooperation with your Wurm waifu

>>13024593
>"I thought you were off today."
>The cat grimaces and says to you "I am, I just finished my job from last night." She glances back to Alex and says "Come on, big guy. I'll keep you company while Chubs is working. Don't worry, she'll be fine; I'll tell you all about why she's been sick lately."
>"No you won't! No she won't. Anything she tells you is a lie! Did you just call me Chubs?"
>The anubis shakes her head and pulls you away by an arm. "Come on, we need to get going."
>Sadie leads Alex toward the office used as a pantry and dining room, probably to stuff her face like she always does when she finishes a job.
>You give up and let Annie 2 drag you away.
>Ask the anubis "Am I chubby?"
>Not something you would ask anyone else. She is honest to a fault and seems to think teasing people is a waste of time and energy.
>She looks you up and down before responding. "Your proportions are good; nice hourglass shape. Closer to fit than chubby, I'd say."
>That's comforting. You never really bought in to Sadie's teasing of course, but it's comforting none the less.
>"Your butt is pretty big though. Good shape, just big."

>>13024633
>Not waifu-ing that one fem-paladin with the suspiciously ill-fitting helm.
>H is for Heresy!

>>13024660
Oh no.

>>13024579
>the milkshake was made with her mother's milk

>>13024608
Would change after she inks herself from getting spooked

>>13024696
Her mother works there.
Piestrong supports equality, being indiscriminate, and delicious pizza at good prices.

>>13024608
Baby Yaga mg when?

>>13024652
>"So do you understand the plan? Do you remember everything?" Sadie asks you.
>"We're going to get in trouble."
>"We won't get in trouble, I promise."
>Can't help but sigh. Every time you've ever heard that it has ended badly.
>You run through what Sadie has told you. "Charlotte has an important associate in her office. This associate is really annoying. Charlotte stepped out for a while to take care of pressing business, but really she just needed a break. You want to mess with this associate while Charlotte is gone."
>"Yeah, that's the gist of it."
>"We're going to get in trouble."
>"Oh come on, you're a boy, where's your sense of adventure!? This tanuki is a total bitch, she deserves it!"
>"Last time I messed with somebody because he deserved it I lost my eyes."
>Probably shouldn't have said that. Sadie manages to put her foot in her mouth often enough without your help.
>To break the silence you give in, "Ok, I'll do it. But if we get caught I'm blaming you."
>Nearly gasping in relief to have someone save her from the awkwardness, Sadie accepts. "Fine fine, no problem. Don't worry, I do stuff like this all the time."
>That sounds like a very good reason to worry.

>>13024717
I wonder if she will be an Ara Ara.

>>13024844
Nah, I think she will be an Ooga Booga.

>>13024848
Or maybe she'd be all cheeki breeki?

LANTERNON I AM SORRY FOR DOUBTING YOU FUCKING BASED GOD

I LOVE YOU NO HOMO

10/10 STORY

>>13023976
Every night.

>>13024868
Fiendish!

>>13024868
>Triclops, Mouse, Girl, with horns, tit fondling, Tony the tiger
This is good.

>>13024868

>>13024725
>Be Tanuki
>In the office of one of your less savory business partners.
>Most other members of the merchant's guild hesitate to have dealings with the undead. The thought of partnering with an undead crime-lord would make them faint.
>Fools. Aside from winning you a coveted spot on the list of merchants off-limits for everyday theft and extortion, the agreement allows you to move your goods into the city without worrying about tariffs.
>There are risks of course, but you minimized them by carefully selecting your partner, and going through her in all dealings with criminals.
>The wight, Charlotte, is pretentious and superficial - the perfect business partner, easy to manipulate and obvious in her intentions.
>Looking into the eyes of a corpse still unnerves you though, especially at times when it seems to you her speech and mannerisms are all a facade, a clever ruse to lower your guard.
>It's just a passing fancy though. Not all undead are evil masterminds. One mustn't give in to racism.
>You laugh at that thought.
>"You should be careful."
>The quiet voice from behind you makes you jump. You didn't even hear the door o-
>The door isn't open. Nobody is there.
>You carefully examine the room behind you, looking for some kind of trick. Using something simple like that to soften an opponent for negotiations is a classic tactic.
>You finish your inspection and turn back around to find yourself face to face with a young boy.
>He is wearing ragged cloths that look to be stained with dried blood. A frayed rope binds his hands and his face is horribly scarred. Several deep cuts cross his eyes horizontally, blinding him.
>With his features, he would be pretty if not for the scars. He almost is in spite of them.
>He stands in front of you, staring at you without seeing.
>You can feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand up and your flesh prickle.

>>13024854

UBIRAYSYA IZ MOYEY LESU KURWA

>>13024455
I like it so far. As always, you retain an excellent grasp of description and characterization that I greatly enjoy reading, and I like your ideas for the Paladin tests enough that I may have to steal a bit of it. But why the new account?

>>13024900
Darn Jinkos and their crazy language

Next thing you know they'll be squating all over the place and telling folks to get out of here

>>13024941

>Jinkos
>He doesn't know Gasmask

>>13024943
But anon, he was making a reference to Anya.

PAPALI CYKA

>>13024952
Imagine a Siberian Jinko doing this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zh_p20lHqtA

>>13024945

I know her too, but she's in space, not in a forest.

>>13024952

UBERI ORUJE

>>13024955
I would very much like the Siberian Jinko

>>13024952
MASLINY POIMAL

>>13024886
>"Who are you?"
>He either doesn't hear or just ignores you. "She isn't as nice as she looks."
>You decide to put an end to this before it goes any further. You reach out to grab him.
>He vanishes before your hand can touch him. No flash, no smoke, just there one second and gone the next.
>You stand still, waiting.
>The silence stretches. The only sound to hear is your own heartbeat.
>You sit back down and try to calm yourself. It's just a trick, meant to unnerve you. A bit more complex than you were expecting, that's all.
>"Don't lie to her, she'll know." The whisper comes from mere inches away. He's so close you can feel him.
>You don't want to look but you can't help it. You turn and find yourself looking right into those horrible scars.
>"Don't look her in the eyes, she doesn't like that." His rope-bound hands rise and he feels gingerly at his scars.
>He slowly fades away, his voice becoming more distorted as he does.
>"Whatever you do, don't say no to her. She hates that."
>Just before he completely vanishes, you see blood pour down his face from a spot on his forehead.
>You slowly back yourself into a corner a stare at the room, but he doesn't come back.
>Eventually the wight returns and you go back to your negotiations.
>As you speak to her you realize you can smell her. Of course you can, she's a monster, one with a strong and unique mana.
>You realize you didn't smell anything when the boy was there before. Not a human, not a monster, not anything.
>You try not to think about it and focus on speaking to the wight, but that just lets you see that half fancied something in her expression again.
>That strange force, that buried malevolence that makes you feel like the person you are talking to is all a facade.
>You finally recognize that odd look in her eyes. It's what a cat looks like when it's playing with a mouse.

>>13024962
I've usually got no patience for these recolours, but this one, and the white chocolate yeti last week, make my dick extremely happy.
Salut!

>>13024963

MASHWASHO

>>13024962
>beautiful new fur color
>delicious tan
>purple, the sexist of all colors
MINE.

>>13024962
I'm gonna give her a case of cubs

A real bad case of cubs

>>13024966
She saw Alex post-eye removal?

You'd make sweet, violent, sweaty love to a Kitsune right?

>>13024985
>sweet, violent
Does not compute.

>>13024987
It's like having really angry sex, but in a loving way.
Like biting, scratching, playing other M, and slapping.

>>13024985
Inari...

>>13024992
>playing Other M
>during sex
Gazer please go.

>>13024978
Sadie the Cheshire is using Alex to mess with that Tanuki. Read the previous posts.

>>13024966
>"Holy shit, she looks like she's pissing herself."
>"I smell like a tomato." You complain to Sadie as she struggles to get her giggling under control.
>"Sorry, it looked like she was still skeptical, I wanted to push her over the edge. I'll clean you off."
>"If she was paying any attention it wouldn't have worked. She must have been able to smell it too."
>"Nah, smell is hard to trick but it's easy to block. Come here, let me wipe you off a bit."
>"Wait, gimme back my bandage first."
>"Hold on, let me wipe you off, you'll just get it dirty. Anyways, do you even need that thing anymore?"
>You feel around until you find where Sadie stashed your regular clothes then fish out the bandage. "My face looks gross without it. Ow! Why'd you flick me!?"
>"Your face doesn't look gross. Who told you that?"
>"Nobody. I'm not dumb. I can feel it so I can guess what it looks like."
>"It doesn't look gross. It's cool. You look badass, like a war vet or something."
>She sighs. "This is useless. I'm just spreading the mess around. Come on, I'll take you for a bath. If Eris sees you looking like that she'll beat the crap out of me before I get a chance to explain."

>>13024985
YES

I like all the words you used in that sentence

>>13025005
Too sleepy to finish now, will continue in the morning.

>>13025027
Awesome, I look forward to more.

>>13024962
>Siberian Jinko with dense Russian accent
>"Da, you are husband. In capitalist pig country, you tame tiger. In Soviet Russia, tiger tame you."
>She's secretly a huge nerd and has a sizable Dendy collection.

>>13025036

>Dendy collection
>Not Artifact collection

BLYAT

>>13025036
> Dendy
Taiwanese knock-off NES?

>>13025045
Yes, but it was produced specifically for the Russian market. Russian nerds have a lot of fondness for it. They were also unaware that it was a knock-off console back in the 90s.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kne6AKyYUuM

>Turn on subtitles

I want to stay up, but I also want to sleep after working 16 hours...

>>13025067
I know the solution to your problems!

>>13025056
>They were also unaware that it was a knock-off console back in the 90s.
I can confirm that

There were also Dendy "computers" with keyboard and mouse

>>13025071
>spiders getting drunk off coffee
Still sounds wrong. I refuse to believe something a person who comes from a country that thinks blood type does have a huge saying in who you are believes.

>>13025067

I want to cuddle that cat while the lilim watches

>>13025085
I'm just going to throw science at you.

>>13025099
That just shows it has a large effect on their web making.
The Marijuana spider usually makes a hammock.

>>13025112
Are you going to sperging or not?

>>13025112

Read the article. It can be quantitatively measured as toxicity.

>tfw you can assassinate an ushi-oni by dropping a couple of noDoze in her drink.

>>13025112
What about the crack cocaine spider tho?

>>13025116
That just means it's toxic, it doesn't make them drunk.

>>13025122
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHzdsFiBbFc

>>13025122
We don;t talk about him man

>>13025122
Made the marijuana spider her bitch, obiously

Why are long tongues so great?

>>13025124

It's absolutely qualitatively comparable to other toxins that affect behavior, like alcohol and other drugs.

>>13024462
His prose was a bit excessively flourid, but he meant that.

>>13024526
>>13024906
Because there's no way to separate stories in Pastebin, and I don't want to have three whole things stacked and occasionally intermixed on a single page.

>>13024600
"A signal honor" is a phrase denoting a particularly special honor. It's very formal, and not commonly used, but I really like it.

My sickness, as well as the fact that I altered no small number of things in an attempt to make them better, have probably resulted in a higher than average number of mistakes. Later on I'll reread it and see if I can't make it all better.

>>13025133
The world may never know.

>>13025134
Then they would be high, not drunk.
Like how sugar can make kids high if they take enough of it.

>>13025136
GET BACK TO WORK YOU FOOL!

>>13025136

Single or singular honor is the phrase bro, indicating a rare and illustrious honor.

>>13025136
What is/are your favorite monstergirl species?

Whatever happened to that monster girl academy shorts?

>>13025138
I want to fondle and scratch her ears

>>13025136
>Because there's no way to separate stories in Pastebin, and I don't want to have three whole things stacked and occasionally intermixed on a single page.

This is why I stopped doing chapters altogether. Just straight whole stories in single pastes. Keep the divisions internal to the text.

>>13025150
Monstergirl academy?

>>13025150
Monstergirl academy?

>>13025150
Monstergirl academy?

>>13025136
Just finishing up the prologue. I adore it. I am generally against Paladins but this story has my attention.

>>13025150
académie de monstre fille?

>>13025160
>>13025162
>>13025165
>>13025177
Stop.

>>13025136
You also misspelled florid. I'm just busting your balls. Good work.

>>13025179
Non!

>>13025139
>Alcohol buzz
>Not technically a high
SCIENCE demands you edumacate your thinkin' muscle

>>13025154
Hope you're good at it. The last ear scratcher wasn't up to snuff and got busted down to footstool.

>>13025179

>Stop having fun

Alright, Mr. Boring.

>>13025191
Footstool is the best position, I already called dibs on it.

>>13025179
We honestly have no idea what he's talking about

>>13025188
Both are results of something being in your blood, but being buzzed/drunk is a result of more alcohol being in your blood stream than your liver can metabolize as opposed to a substance just being there in general.

>>13025204

It's classified as a high. So is pretty much any positive body response to any chemical that messes with your synapses at fairly low levels.

Remember to give your daughterus lots of milk.

It helps build strong bones and is a good source of protein.

>>13025236
Well said. Milk is important for a growing monstergirl!

Would you?

>>13025236
I'll give her lots of milk, if you know what I mean
I mean Holstaurus milk. It's good for you.

>>13025228
Where exactly is it classified as a high?

I swear to God, Centorea's chest keeps getting larger and larger.

>>13025244
Mimics a cute

>>13025244
Probably.
>>13025249
To quote the author of One Piece,
>She's a growing girl

>>13024455
Marcus Twice Honored confirmed for first to die.

>>13025249
Not that the rest of the girls are pushovers either.

>>13025243
Indeed, although putting an additive in her milk like your picture will ruin the taste and may lead to unpredictable outcomes.

>>13025245
Good man. Keep her hydrated!

>>13025249
The power of milk anon

The power of milk.

>>13025255
Wrong, the first to die will be the old, soon-to-retire knight who shows them the ropes.

>>13025249
She's a big girl.

>>13025253
No kidding.

>>13025249
>>13025256
Crabman just draws Miia with cowtits whenever he feels like it, doesn't he?

>>13025144
I'm not gonna die on this hill, but Google's right there if you don't believe me.

>>13025158
That's probably completely reasonable, but I like the clean, distinct feeling of separate pages. It's like having a cut to an establishing shot before a new scene; it lessens any bleed between moods, places, or people.

>>13025145
You know I've wondered about that for a while, but I have no idea. It might just be that monstergirls were never intended for an asexual audience. If pressed, though, my first inclination is to point to that one picture of a blushing mantis in a chemise. Or maybe just the nearest mermaid.

I am a simple man, with a love of vanilla both literal and figurative.

>>13025252
>>13025244
Every time I see a mimic, I think of that one gif with all the office workers trying to hide in unorthodox ways.

>>13025243
Blue board.
>>13025262
I still remember when Cereas tits were only slightly smaller than her skull.

My Holst daughter told me she wants to be just like me when she grow up.
Problem is, she thinks I'm a cowboy astronaut with a Gundam that looks like Morgan Freeman.
What should I tell her?

>"Hey. What's up?"
>"Uh...nothing, I didn't want anything. Well, except yeah, I did want something. To talk to you, I guess?"
>"D-do you like PC98 games?"

>>13025270
To Believe in Her who Believes in Herself

>>13025270
Tell her that DREAMS NEVER DIE!
>>13025274
Sure thing bro.

>>13025265
>I am a simple man, with a love of vanilla both literal and figurative.
Mein neger, simplicity is a beautiful thing.

>>13025274

HANG ON MAN I'M TRYINA BEAT WARLOCK HERE WAIT UP

HOLY SHIT FUCK THIS BOSSFIGHT

>>13025278
>>13025280

>Bro
>Man

Being flat cyclops is suffering.

>>13025285
Bros are bros, man or woman.

>>13025285
Then she should drink some holstaurus milk.

Wouldn't a Kitsune look overly malnourished like that one lion from Futurama?

>>13025285

I don't really use "man" as to recognize someone's gender, but more like some kind of comma or pause, y'knowwhat'msayin', man?

Big
Meaty
Paws

>>13025302
Such big tracts of land

>>13024455
I like it this far. Just one thing, what was the deal with the focus word and the succubus in the elevator? Is it a mental exercise or an actual skill, that let him see the true form of monsters, or it distorts his view of them, into grotesque things?

>>13025285

>>13025307
>Human girl has more sex appeal than a Cyclops
She just can't compare to her, even when it's mono e mono.

>>13025307

>>13025309
The human chick has an ahoge, which designates her as airheaded.

>>13025309
In this case, it's that little chub around the cyk's face.

Though it is a crying shame. I hear they're real good with their hands.

>>13025313
>her eyes have gone white
>her eyes have
>her eyes
>eyes
>EYES

>>13025306
I was really fond of turning the MG grotesque. I too was wondering if it was some ability to tear away a MG's facade of beauty. The other thought that crossed my mind is if paladins train themselves to see the truly monstrous nature of them masked by their commonly gorgeous outer appearance.

>>13025307
Well she certainly looks moe feminine in this one. She just needs a friend, of the boy persuasion, to show her how to dress.

>>13025256
>Miia will never wrap you up and place your head between her breasts and cuddle you all night while whispering "i love you" while you drift off to sleep

>>13025317
>eyes

So I'm not the only one who noticed that?

How about a Hellhound wearing a hoodie?

>>13025327
Sure.
That artist needs to fix her head already for fucks sake.

>>13025327
How about getting her some plastic surgery to fix her horrible anatomy?

>>13025327
There's so much wrong with her anatomy.

My favorite is the nope.jpg neck

>>13025327
How about we just give everyone a hoodie
Because hoodie's are great

>>13025318
What's got my goat is, was it real?

>>13025323
>Mia will never have Darling all to herself and EMG will never be a light-hearted romantic comedy about a guy and a lamia ever again
Why can't we have nice things?

>>13025340
It's one of those details that I feel is best up left to the reader to interpret. I think some of the wonder would be taken away if it was explained.

I wish I had a fluffy computer. I wonder how I'd upgrade her though. I don't think jamming ram sticks up her ass sounds very safe.

What about you?

>>13025347
A simpler time

>>13025347
>Why can't we have nice things?
Harems sell.

>>13025347
>the last 29 chapters will never be retconned out of existence so your favorite girl is the only one who gets to stay
Thank God.

>>13025354
Nips and their shit taste.

>>13025339

No, hoddies are shit.

>>13025358
News at 11

>>13025361
Zimmerman please.

>>13025351
Just make sure you don't put her power switch in or near her frontal port.

>>13025347
Miia a shit
All EMG grills a shit