/jp/ - Otaku Culture

That's not my phone you stupid gook.

>>12719056
Alice is an aryan/slavic goddess you mongoloid.

>>12719056

what kind of a reject uses a flip phone in 2014?

I want Alice for me and me only

>>12719084
Japan

>>12719084
flip phones are cool at least the screen does not scratch or bend in your pocket

>>12719014

What the hell Alice, it's not like I was dating my phone

Nooo! How could you do that to my girlfriend? I spent like 100k yen worth of virtual accessories on her.

>>12719014
I'm sorry Alice.. You're not the only one impregnated by me. That said, gonna chow.

>>12719014
Marisa stole me from you, sorry!

>>12719193

I don't think you're a precious thing though, Anon.

>>12719193
Marisa stole the precious anon.

>>12719014
If I can't answer the phone, now my mom will worry about me.

>>12719014
>>12719202
>>12719204
>anon
Fuck off back to /v/, queerboys.

>>12719213
>/v/

Wrong board, its /a/.

>>12719221
>/a/

Wrong site, its tumblr.

>>12719213

What on Earth are you going on about?

>>12719213
>/v/

really now

>>12719224
>tumler

ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME MAD?

>>12719231

dude. take it easy.

>>12719202
I was precious to Alice so Marisa stole me. Sexily.

>>12719268
slut.

>>12719268
Marisa is a kleptomaniac and a sociopath, unfit for any kind of meaningful relationship.

>>12719351
What is a "meaningful relationship?" Relation presupposes and prerequisites meaning.

>>12719231
Why are you angry? Most of /a/ uses tumblr.

>>12719369
In this case, love.
You're correct in that I'd have had to make a relative statement, like " the kind of relationship that can be established with her is far less meaningful than one filled with love". Sorry about that!
Also, a relation's purpose or meaning lies in itself and is created along with it, so I'd say the prefixes are misplaced.

>>12719014
But I don't even have a cellphone.
I mean, it's not like I have anyone to call.

>>12719439

I have a cellphone but I'm always scared if anyone calls and I never pick up. Its my anxiety issue.

>>12719439

I have a smartphone instead of a landline. It's handy to let me check news and the internet and stuff. Only slightly more expensive after I got a decent deal through a fairly niche provider, too.

Even if you don't have anyone to call Anon, the ability to communicate under any circumstance is important! Who knows if you might have to call the police after a rapist tries to break into your house and molest your boipussy or something, you know?

>>12719497
Now I understand why Alice broke my phone.

>>12719497
>It's handy to let me check news and the internet and stuff

But I'm on my PC pretty much 24/7 and I barely go out, so I can check the internet and news whenever I want anyway.
And when I do go out, I don't really ever feel like checking the internet.

>the ability to communicate under any circumstance is important!

I do have a landline, but I never call anyone and if someone ever tries to call, I never pick up, same as >>12719487

Anyone have the source of this image? I want more like it.

any cellphone otaku here? what is your cellphone?

>>12719014
I want to give my virginity to Alice and impregnate her in the process

>>12719643
Unless you're blonde and have blue eyes, don't you even dare taint her genes.

>>12719643
I want to impregnate her rectum, if you know what I mean

>>12719607
please respond

>>12719698
This. If you taint her genes do it properly and give her an ugly mulatto baby.

>>12719607
I don't have a cellphone because I don't have anyone to call and no one is going to call me

>>12719351
she'll steal ur semen until she can steal child support

>>12719090
Alice wears the most fancy underwear

>>12719607
i have an iphone 5s. it works pretty good and looks good
.

>>12719871
are you a norman

>>12719779
>>12719698

I want to taint Alice's genes and corrupt her bloodline with my filthy, uncouth italian-ancestry latino heritage!

We're going to make the dirtiest of gene pools! Ruining a pure bloodline with Alice!

>>12719946
I want to keep her lineage with my pure Argentinian blood

>>12719946
>>12719986
I'm glad you two will never reproduce!

okay

But how will I call my mom

>>12719698

I'm blonde, blue-eyed, white and 6'4, where do I queue up?

>>12720125
Aice is your mom now.

>>12719091
Japan uses smartphones now grandpa get with it the times.

Stealing others quarries

>>12720182
She's your everything now

>>12720237
But am I her everything?

>>12720241
No, I am

>>12720264
You fucking wish.

>>12719351
But that 2hu personality compatibility thingy anon made said that I have perfect compatibility with Marisa! Our relationship is one that will blossom into true love, both she and I know it in our heart and in our bones.

Not like I was doing anything useful anyway, maybe being Alice's body servant would be nice. Dressing her and cooking for her and helping her get ready in the morning and brushing her hair and helping her bathe and taking care of her when she's sick. Even though she already has dolls for that.

>>12719014
Dumb wenche, I belong to GOD.

>>12720742

That paired me with Youmu.

>>12720742
Got a link to that?

>>12720742
Link it, please

>>12723345

http://www.gotoquiz.com/which_touhou_character_suits_you

>>12723378
I got Flandre by ~80-90% or something

>>12723378
Test is bullshit. It gave me Aya with like 80%. Aya a shit.

>>12723417

I wanted Sanae but got Marisa. :(

>>12723417
My top 4 were Reisen, Sanae, Marisa and Aya, with the lowest being 80%. I must be a gigantic slut.

>>12723417
>Test is bullshit.

ok

>It gave me Aya with like 80%.
>Aya a shit.

sounds like it's working though?!

ok i take that back, this is some serious bullshit

>Your Result: Reisen Udongein Inaba
>93%

>>12723378
>76% marisa
Bullshit. Parsee is probably the only character that matches my personality.

maybe it's actually returning which touhous we deserve

But if I don't have my phone how will Alice check up on me when I go out?

>>12723417
I got Aya with 80% as well.

If two dopplegangers meet, one must die

>>12723589

uh, yeah. to the death. absolutely.

>>12723417
Hmm, alright I guess.

>>12723417
>>12723589
fug

>>12723378
Well damn. Gave me Reimu. Quick, someone tell me how to feel. I stopped caring a while ago.

Ayayaya best Aya.
Good compatibility with those other girls is icing on the tengu cake.

>>12725266
mah pics

I got Marisa.
This is bullshit, like any other online quiz.

>>12719072
At first I assumed she was English like Alice in Wonderland, but with her theme being "The Doll Maker of Bucuresti", she is probably either a Romanian Britaboo or a gypsy immigrant.

>>12723378
I'm happy with this result, I want to be Shiki-sama's slave.

>>12725647
Maybe she just studied/hone her skills there.

>>12723378

Just because you're like a particular character doesn't mean you'll get along well with that character! Especially romantically

I got marisa btw

>>12723378
Based on previous experiences I don't think that test gives very varied results. I got Aya 80-something-% and Reimu 2nd.

>>12723345
>>12723373
Well, this is the one I was talking about (it says I have a Duality going on with Marisa!), but >>12723378's link works too, I guess.

/jp/ should make a version with all the 2hus' types mapped out.

I was not expecting this. Not that I mind, but I don't see myself like that much of an Aya person.

Must be the home question that influenced it.

>>12723413
Same. I just want to be left alone but apparently that makes me some edgelord chuuni vampire.

>>12725901
This is way too complicated. These words been nothing to me. Which of them are supposed to be positive? Benefactor sounds nice, but it only goes one way.

>>12726013
Just check the relationship types and its meaning from http://www.socionics.com/rel/relcht.htm..

You can use some sort of online test to find out your personality type if you don't know yours already, and see which 2hu is for you. Basically the best type is Duality which is super duper lovey dovey 1000% compatibility OTP true love forever mode (which I share with Ms. Kirisame, sorry Alice...).

Also note that the 2hu images uses MBTI personality types, while the table uses Socionics types, which is slightly different! You can use something like http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socionics#The_16_types to translate the 2hu type in that image to the correct socionics type.

>>12723378
I got Sakuya.

I am ok with this

>>12723378
Eh..

>>12726062
According to this, I got duality with Sanae, who also was second on that silly quiz from earlier. Not sure how to feel about this.

>>12723378
test is shit because it only has oldhous

>>12726344

but that' shte only good part

newhous raus

My bars are fuller than your bars
I'm closer to being a random touhou than you are
Either that, or I don't have a distinct personality

>>12726456

No, my bar is fuller see >>12725876

And the character trait chosen is obviously the loner reclusive one.

I got 100% with Aya and I don't even like her. This is bullshit.

>>12727058
>However, nature has played a little trick on us. It is difficult to notice your Dual partner among all the other types and even easier to pass them by.

>>12726456
I am Reisener than you are! Also
>My bars are fuller than your bars

>>12727058

Post or it didnt happen

>>12719092
>bend in your pocket
What kind of extreme stuff are you doing to bend your screen in your pocket?

>>12727058
I like Aya, but I have no idea why the thing thinks I am like Aya. We are like complete opposites.

>>12725901
I finally took the time to take an MBTI since I can never remember whether I'm S/N and P/J and this chart says I'd get along with Byakuren. A lot better than the shitty quiz, I think.

>>12726204
That means you're a good girl magnet. I hope you enjoy your prim and proper pure girlfriend!

>>12723378
83% Marisa, no complaints I like her. Not as my waifu, but I like her.

>>12726062

Fuck duals, I hate useless cuntbags like reisen.

>>12729435
but she loves you!

>>12729472

But she can't -do- anything. I don't want to be stuck with someone who can't -do- things. I do things. I want to be with someone who does things with me because they genuinely find it interesting, not a doormat.

>>12729500
that's why you two are so perfect for each other: you complement each other. remember, >>12727139

if you're with someone who's like you, you'll start out compatible at first and things might be great. but since you reflect each other, sooner or later you'll come to see her weakness as your weakness, or maybe you expect her to do things your way since you see your own strength in her while she messes up, and things will just go down from there.

>>12723378
>>12723471
The test IS bullshit because it is only Reisen, Flandre, Youmu, Sakuya, Sanae and a few others.

No Keine and the rest of the other characters is unacceptable.

>>12726062
I was scared I would conflict with Reisen, but after adjusting my type to account for the MBTI to Socionics shift, it seems like Reisen is Dual to me, which is strange because the first test told me I was most like Reisen.

>>12729532
Make a full one, then

>>12729532
Now I want to know what my compatibility with Keine is.

>>12729594
I find that I answer completely differently depending on the context of the test. When the test is 2hu-related, I end up picking some really extroverted choices, because if I was in Gensokyo I'd want to befriend all the 2hus, but when taking a normal personality test, I answer based on how I actually act, and end up scoring deep into introverted. At least that's my theory for why my top characters in the first test were all energetic, outgoing girls, even though I got INTJ when I did that Myer-Briggs test again.

>>12729594
MBTI to Socionics conversion is by no means perfect. They say so on their website, and after taking a scionics-specific test I found that the MBTI conversion wasn't even in the top 3 results.

>>12729532
Such a silly hat.

>>12729716

you gon' get caved/10

>>12729716
Keine is probably the worst 2hu for most /jp/sies. She deals with children all day when she's not protecting the whole village from harm, so anything other than a strong independent man who don't need no 2hu would probably just exhaust her even further. That and she'd probably want somebody with a manly man job, like a carpenter or something.

>>12736943
>She deals with children all day
perfect

>>12737009

>>12723378
>tfw slut

>>12736943
>carpenter
You mean a Mexican that nails 2x4s together?
Woodworking is a real man's job. Cutting joinery and gluing tables together.

>>12723589
say that to my face no online fucker see what happens

>>12737204
If building things that stand outside isn't part of your job description, you might just be a ninny carving knick knacks.

>>12737201

Jealous.

>>12725901
>Reisen
>extraverted
Not canon.

And I'm quoting the shitty table.

>>12719084
I-I like physical buttons...

>>12737408
I held on to my Galaxy S for 4 fucking years. Just recently broke down and bought a new phone because I couldn't charge my old one anymore.

It's nice having all that processing power to play with, but god damn, I miss my keys...

>>12737408

same but i still don't use a flip-phone like some kind of savage

>>12737420
what phone do you have?

p/p

I miss Palm guys

>>12737521
G3.

>>12737571
That's a really cool phone dude, I'm proud of you. I wish I had a G3 too.

I took the personality test too and it looks like my duality is also with Sanae, so i guess we're meant to be.

>>12737581
Thanks, guy. It's nice to have a new toy to play with once in a while.

Somehow I would have expected I'd get along with the Yama.
On the other hand, according to the table in >>12725901, she's my look-alike, while my Dual is Sanae.
I'm a bit confused... maybe I should take another personality test, a proper socionics one.

>>12719084
What kind of reject likes non-physical buttons? Physical buttons >>>>>>>> virtual buttons. You have NO FUCKING IDEA what you're pressing on the latter.

>>12738104
Virtual button is perfect for rhythm games, your argument is invalid

>>12738117
u wot?

>>12738124
>not superior djmax
u wot m8

>>12720150
You probably have a dirty blood type like AB or something.

>>12742020
>AB

It's Aryan Blood.

HAHAHAHA
YOU THINK YOURE THOUGH UH ?
I HAVE ONE WORD FOR YOU
THE FORCED ISOLATION OF THE HIKKI
GET IT ?
I DONT THINK SO
YOU DONT KNOW ABOUT MY WAIFU I GUESS ?
SHES 2D
AND IS NAMED ``ALICE
OK YOU FUQIN ANGERED AN EXPERT NEET
THIS IS /jp/
YOU ARE ALLOWED TO POST HERE ONLY IF YOU HAVE ACHIEVED RONERY
LONELINESS IS ALL ABOUT ``ABSTRACT BULLSHITE THAT YOU WILL NEVER COMPREHEND
I HAVE 1CC'D EVERY TOUHOU
IF ITS NOT DONE YOU HAVE TO
TOO BAD IT'S SHIT, RIGHT?
IT'S SHIT
ALSO
WELCOME TO /jp/
EVERY NORMAL WILL BE SHUNNED
NO EXCEPTION

>>12723378
I think I won

>>12742050
Bullshit you basically just sniped that result.

>>12736943
>manly job
It's the attitude, son.
Although being skilled in such trade wouldn't hurt at all.
It sucks that you can't master everything, even if you have enough time to learn, in the end, the amount of data a brain can hold is limited. I wonder if there's a way to get around such limits, and to what extent.

>>12742251
Clones. Robots.

Where my Flandre bros at?

>>12723378

>Youmu Konpaku /w 91%

>tfw I like gardens and gardening
>tfw I like swinging with swords etc.

Literally a perfect match for me.

>>12745908
>I like swinging with swords
So does the rest of 4chan. You need skills to keep her entertained.

>>12725647
She's actually Makain

>>12725647
>gypsy immigrant
Jesus Christ how horrifying.
Gypsies in Gensokyo would literally be worse than Hitler.
I hope Romania was only associated with Gypsies recently.

>>12723378

I got Sakuya AND Sanae at 88%. What.

When I have sex with my korean girlfriend I pretend that it is actually alice and I cum buckets

>>12755798
Wait a second. What's the Alice on the left?

>>12756352
Alice Alter, her third form.

>>12719014
Jokes on her, the only contact I have on my phone is my mom!

>>12723378
>which is most important to you?
>Carnal desires

>your result: Youmu Konpaku

http://www.gotoquiz.com/would_i_date_you_605
whoa guys this girl would date me

>>12755888
It's kind of hard to be better than one of the best men in history.

>>12723378
kore ha da ze.

>>12757289
Youmu is lewd

>>12723378
How the hell does this test even work? Youmu is one of the last people I could see myself with.

>>12765868

At least the baka is at the bottom.

Well, Aya's my favorite from the list and Sakuya and Cirno are my least favorite so it wasn't that bad.

I want to cum inside of Alice

>>12766079
Would you take responsibility for such a lewd act?

>>12765936
Where do they get the idea that Aya is so powerful that she needs to hold back in fights?

1. That's the point of spellcard rules
2. She holds back against Reimu so she can go back to the other tengu and say "welp I lost fair and square and the miko got past me, I guess she can go deal with those fags on the mountain instead"

>>12723378
I got Flandre with like 80% someone please tell me how to react

>>12776965
Be apathetic like normal.

>>12776965
Happily go fap to lewd pictures of imouto-sama?

>>12773535
Maybe if she was Marisa.
But she is not.

>>12723378

>>12719084
Japan because the kana are easier to type with using a flip phone.

>>12727409
iPhone 6.

>>12719056
I died.

>>12725647
>>12755888
p. sure romanians will be the first to point out that they aren't the romani

nobody says "fuck Rome I hate the romani" because that's silly

>>12745063
Right here.

youth kokoro

>>12776965
By any chance have you watched Darker than Black?

>>12723378
I may never be a touhou.

I don't even like Marisa.

It's like the world doesn't want me to become Alice.

>>12784174
What happened?

Meh, I would've liked Sakuya better

Anyone else get Sakuya?

>>12784338
I did about 75% of a thread ago

>>12784235

turns out that shaving his legs and sucking dick just makes him a guy with shaved legs and a mouth full of dick

>>12784174
I-I want you to be Alice.

>>12786334

gay hookups go in >>>/soc/

I have no opinion on this 2hu

>>12786343
My bad

>>12786361

everyone has an opinion on sanae

>>12786368
She seems alright

Will she ever open that grimoire of her?

>>12789808
lewd!

>>12793099

fuck you, post something of value in a new thread instead of this shit

>>12793105

Shut the fuck up.

Alice is pathetic-moe

>>12793170

if pathetic-moe was a thing you wouldn't be so unpopular

alice still plays with dolls!

I want to complete belong to Alice, mind and body.

>>12723378
Flandre is it...

Lol haha lol hahaha.

>>12793170
No, she's a competent and independent magician.

>>12723378
Apparently Marisa is my waifu.

Not that I'm surprised.

>>12793180
You got mean over the years!

>>12795078

it's true

>>12795081
Not too surprising, considering.

>>12725901
According to socionic's quadra theory the introvert's status is actually flipped. So it the ISFP in MBTI would be an ISFj there.

In fact speaking of socionics you could easily make stereotypes of it with touhous. Duality would be shipping fuel. Which basically means that you get along with them better, and thus would shag them more easily.

Then again the types are kind of different in Socionics. Such as the ISFJ (SEI) would be moer of a soft-spoken light-hearted hedonist than a tradition fag.

>>12795098

bunkum

Alice is a black negro

>>12719014
Alice is a nice person and isn't a mindless generic yandere, please try again.

>>12723378

Holy shit, Reisen's actually one of my favorite 2hu's.

Alice got a banging body!

>>12719014
How can I be your if you're not mine, Alice? I don't think you trust me, so how can I trust you, Alice? Don't you love me, Alice? I thought I loved you, Alice, but if I can't trust you, how can I love you, Alice? Alice, I need to trust you, how can I trust you, Alice? You won't leave me, will you, Alice? Can I trust you on that, Alice? Can I love you Alice? Do you love me, Alice?

>>12723378
Lack of Seija saddens me.

>>12800525

>>12800937
>>12800525
I want to bang Alice!

>>12801424
In the head with a shovel.

I never knew

>>12801451
Thats not how you cure Autism.

>>12801451
Ill shovel your head m8.

>>12801535

it works if you do it hard enough

>>12723378
>http://www.gotoquiz.com/which_touhou_character_suits_you
Ye, favorite character.

>>12723378
It's a good feeling to be matched with your favourite 2hu.

>>12801635
It's a great feelio

>>12723378
Might work, though i'm too shy really..

>>12723378
1st: Youmu by 91%
2nd: Reimu by 89%
3rf: Cirno by 88%
Cirno, Youmu & Mima are my favourite Touhous. So I'm glad I've got 2 of them in top 3. Well Mima isn't even in the possibilities but well, Reimu's cool, even if I usually use Marisa in the games, but it's not something strange because I tend to be relaxed and chill, when I'm not doing something important, that kinda suits Reimu as well.