/jp/ - Otaku Culture

I started typing out a "realistic" response but then I came to my senses

tl;dr

does my headcanon count?

Big teal, I'll tell them she's a friend I've met on the Internet.

[X] Jump into lake

I like this scenario

>>11982920
What if I don't live with my parents?

>>11982955
>headcanon

That is called a skullgun, sir.

I'll just tell them she's my girlfriend.

>>11982972
They will believe that least of all of your other options. They would probably believe that she's from another universe before they'd believe that.

>>11982958
>frozen lake RPG memories

How long has passed... i'll make scrambled eggs for dinner

>>11982920
How did I talk to her for hours if I can't speak moon?

I have a farm?

>>11982986
Maybe she can speak English like Remilia and Yukari.

>>11982993
If it's Remilia, I OTL.

This worked last time.

>>11982986
Remi speaks English

>>11982920
Before my parents come back, I'd ask Remilia if I can go back to Gensokyo with her. It's fine for me because if Remilia really does like me, according to this scenario, she'd be happy to be my guardian against those who would want to harm or eat me.

>>11982986
>>11983000
Remilia speaks Japanese, Romanian, Latin, English, maybe some German, French, and Russian. She's a very learned vampiress.

>>11982920

Sucks too have succh restrictive parents. I'll just tell then she's a friend and they'll have no problems of her staying. And even if they say no she will convince then otherwise because pic related.

>>11983018
What else are you gonna do with all that time and huge library?

Bend over and let Yukari fuck my ass in front of them

>>11983027
s-source?

>>11983031

> you greet the Touhou in your home and start chatting between a cup of tea and some biscuits.
Now I know this story is false. I hate tea, it sucks the shit right out of my fuck.

I think they'd be happy to have Yuuka around, since both of my parents are very much into gardening.

Just tell them she's a lady friend I met, they'd be so happy they wouldn't care what she looked like.

>>11983064
I think they would be worried if you claimed a girl who looks under eight (90% of Touhous) was your girlfriend.

>>11983076
Lady friend =/= Girlfriend.

>>11983078
When you say, "a lady friend I met" that sounds like you were picking her up as a date.

Shove her in the closet and wait until they go away!

>>11983031

http://exhentai.org/g/599125/0f7e0335e8/ NSFW obviously

>>11983076
Hey, if we're talking about fantasies, they're all older ladies.

>>11983088
You have dull government approved fantasies.

>>11982920
>your favorite Touhou decided to take a stroll through the human world and ended up knocking at your door.
But I never open my door

>>11983119
She forces her way in then.

But I don't live with my parents OP.

not that I'd get to that stage, halfway through the conversation i'd be in a certain fiery place.

But I don't want to have sex with them. I'll just tell them to go away if they don't I will call the police on them.

I'll ask her to take me to Gensokyou, if possible. And if she can't, maybe ask for some means to keep in touch. And if she can't even do that, I'll just ask her to leave.

I'd tell them she's my girlfriend and will stay for a bit.
But my room is messy as fuck and I don't have an extra bed.
We could make a deal: I clean my room and let her sleep in my bed while I'll use a mat and in return she will get me into Gensokyo when she decides to go home.

That would never happen though, because I would stutter and blush like an idiot and generally be super awkward because I'm just too excited. And then Tenshi will make fun of me. Worth it, though.

Mom, this is my friend's daughter. He asked me to look after her for a while. We have some pop tarts right? Anyways she will be staying in my room. Don't come in without knocking!

I would offer all my family and friends as sacrifices to win her favor. She would gnaw on their bones and drink their blood.

>>11983203
Which touhou is your favorite?

is /jp/ just another version of /mlp/? this worried me last nite.

>>11983231
They are more similar than different, that's for sure.

My parent's house has a nice guestroom. I'll tell them that she's my friend and they will be thrilled that I actually have a friend and let her stay. Mokou is my favorite so they won't be concerned that I kidnapped a child.

I live alone so don't mind really, the only bad thing would be that she take a loli form and everyone would think that I kidnapped a cute girl...

She has big wings...

>>11983203
How cruel! If I was lucky enough to successfully summon Rumia, using her as a tool to achieve my most selfish desires would be reprehensible!

Obviously offering yourself up your body as a snack and your soul as an eternally-devoted servant is the only honourable option.

With that being said, there are some people in my city that I would like to see disappeared before we leave for Gensokyo.

>>11983231
Touhou wasn't made for children

Just dropping that if you want to, you can always learn to astral project and meet your 2hus.

>>11982920
"Hi, mom and dad, this is Yukari Yakumo, a friend of mine from college."

>>11983424
Please don't ban me for saying this mods! It's what i heard from people that managed to AP, i haven't tried it yet, but i'm sure that if people who hate anime have seen and interacted with anime characters, then i can do the same, with even better results...

See numbers up to 15 and backwards without reading them in your head.

nazrin pls delete

I love all tohos equally

my house is pretty small, I don't think they'd all fit

>>11982920
I'd say she's my girlfriend to embarass her, then I'd say she's just a friend and that she's going to stay here a few days.

>>11983468
Nazrin is a mouse.

Calm down! Let's calm down...and start to count prime numbers...2,3,5,7...

>>11983488
11, 13, 17, 19

>>11983537
22, 25, 27, 30

>>11982920
First, is she 2D 2hu that's somehow magically in the 3DPD world, while remaining in 2D?

Second, does she have supernatural powers outside of Gensokyo?

Kill parents. Burn the bodies.

>>11982920
Jokes on you!
My mother thinks costume play looks cool, and is extremely polite when we have guests!
If I have enough aptitude to converse for hours, I'll continue my adventure in my own room.

>by the tone of her voice looks like she likes you and might decide to stay.
This is a dangerous assumption!

I can't decide on a favourite 2hu.

>>11983201
You colorblind...

I might try to hide her. If that wasn't possible, I'd say it's an acquaintance of mine who came to show me her cosplay. It would still be a very weird situation to my parents because I don't normally have visitors, but... yeah.

I live alone, so I wouldn't have any explaining to do.

But I would set out immediately to find a way to return her.

>>11983736
Please keep it.

My house is big and has 3 stories. They don't have to know.

Even if I had to tell them they'd probably be happy I'm not gay. Though my dad said he'd be fine with it. Why do they think I'm gay?

>>11983819
r u a grill...

>>11983426
and then Yukari kills them and feeds her pets with their dead bodies..

In all seriousness, if I were to meet Rumia, I would enjoy slaughtering as many people, as many of the disgusting slovenly wastes of flesh that infest my city, hopefully she might grant me yokaihood so we can both take it easy.

>>11984393
I wouldn't really enjoy it to be truthful I just feel that this city and world needs to be cleaned of all of its filth

>>11983547
calm down little girl,
23, 29, 31, 37*,
41, 43, 47, 53,
59, 61, 67, 71,

more on topic, if I was in my little home, there would be no problem. If I was at the family home, my parents would ask me what I was doing with my little sister's friend... I would then answer that she is a college student, and while they are wondering if it's true or not I will go upstair and ask them not to bother us because we are working, then listen to gensokyo story all night long.

Sadly, I think my parents would just be so happy that I actually have a friend they'd overlook the strangeness of it all.

>>11985053
Wanted to say something along the lines of "i'm glad that at least i'm not in such a shit state", but then i realized that my parents would be enormously happy of me having any kind of friend, as long as i'm interacting with someone besides myself.

my mom will ask me why am I hanging out with an albino

I'll just be completely honest, and maybe throw in a wink or something. Years spent dealing with my actual crazy sibling, combined with years spent telling jokes like coming out of the closet and telling stories about semi-crazy friends, and they're likely to play along or ignore it.

>>11985183
>>11985053
Don't worry, you have a friend Anonymous. It's me! I know I'm not much, but I try my best!

"Hey mom and dad, this is my friend. She was in the neighborhood and stopped by. Can she stay the night? Yeah? Alright cool, thanks"

Life is easy when your parents aren't shit.

This is me FRIEND.
She will be STAYING OVER for a while.

>>11985299
You sure about that? My favorite 2hu is Rumia and lots of people say I have shit taste. But I don't think I do!

>>11985499
Rumia is a good touhou.

>>11985499
I'll be your friend even with your shit taste.

>>11983231
I am awash in abject terror

>>11982920
[x] Genuflect.

I'd probably say "Mom, I cloned myself and made a female Japanese version of me"

Thankfully I look enough like Reimu to do that

>>11982920

OTZ

>>11985039

what the fuck am I reading

>>11982920

look Mom! My meat stick is going inside of her! ohhhh desire

>>11982920
I'm more worried about Yukari coming and getting into a fight with Reimu and leveling the city then explaining why Reimu is here.
>>11985945
Do you crossplay as her?

theres no way id be able to carry a normal conversation with a girl at all

>>11986128
I wish, if I had the dress

Thankfully, having Italian tomato blood means you are blessed with long brown hair

>>11983087
I fucking hate that sad panda.

>>11983025
Masturbate?

>>11982980
We don't appreciate bullying here
especially not from a fucking tripfag

marisa's just a regular ol' witch though

>>11986523
I wasn't bullying. Just stating a fact.

>>11985945
Actually, now that I think about it, it probably wouldn't go over pretty well, my mother would just say "Well M****, if you can make a Japanese version of yourself, then why aren't you doing your work, and don't give me that whole 'I'm depressed' bullshit", and I'd just stand there speechless and crying a little, and my mother would probably say "Oh you're fucking faking it, if you do that again, I will fucking kill you and the rest of this house, stop trying to emotionally control people!", she'd leave the room and I'd probably close and lock the door. Then I'd probably just cuddle with Reimu, she probably doesn't understand English but I'm sure she would tell I'm in a bad mood and try to make me feel better, of course I'd be crying loudly, so my mother would say "Oh shut the fuck up!". Probably wait for nightfall when everyone's asleep to follow Reimu to Gensokyo, I'm sure she'll let me visit and some one there will teach me the ways of glorious Nippon, it's not like anyone will miss me.

I can't believe I typed that

If you make a roleplaying thread at least make it non-shitty

>>11990539
>roleplaying

-To refer to the playing of roles generally such as in a theatre, or educational setting;
-To refer to taking a role of an existing character or person and acting it out with a partner taking someone else's role, often involving different genres of practice;
-To refer to a wide range of games including role-playing video game, play-by-mail games and more;
-To refer specifically to role-playing games.

>>11982920
I kill the 2hu
#killallweebs
#slaythegay
#fuckroleplayers
#rapeneets

I don't live with my parents, so the only thing that could happen is the utility guy or landlady opening the door, and... well...

... honestly I don't see things going so well for me, either.

>>11990752
>... honestly I don't see things going so well for me, either.

why not

>>>/touhou-project/

Fuck off.

>>11990752
That skull looks quite dry for it to have any blood left.

god i wish i were nipon

Well first I would greet her with a cup of coffee and a bagel, if she so wants.
Then I would answer any questions she might have and welcome her to America.
Afterward we might engage into a philosophical debate and inevitably she will intellectually dominate me and my high school level debating and reasoning skills, leaving her to be the victor.
Finally she would leave before my parents ever come home, calling me a troglodyte and a subhuman, not worthy of her time. I would later masturbate to the experience.

my parents are dead

>>11982920
"Hi, this is Yuuka, she's someone I met from anime club and she's trying out her cosplay."

"As Yuuka."

hey this is ran she's spending the night is that cool
they'd probably be cool with it

I could not possibly explain Ran so I just wouldn't explain anything and see if they just go with it
I'd say she's my math tutor or something and avoid bringing up that she's staying the night or has tails and ears.