/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Genuflect

>>11857345
I laugh at her and tell her to go home.

You can't fool me, faker. Being virgin is not a problem in Gensokyo.
Go away, slut.

i'm gonna comfort her and explain

Oops, I shot her thinking she was a burglar.

I would go outside and comfort her and ask if she would like to spend the night at my house, and then offer her some food of her choice if she wants to come into my house.

We have leftover hamburger patties from the other day that I could make into a hamburger for her. Alternatively, we also have ingredients for burritos, karaage chicken, a variety of salads, or even something simple as a grilled cheese-and-tomato sandwich. I could also give her some coffee; I hear that's good for sobering up.

Afterwards, depending on how tired she was, I would see if she wanted to watch a movie or go to bed. I have some movies I haven't watched such as Le Femme Nikita, or Leon: the Professional, and some other good movies such as Drive and Blood Diamond. We could always see what other movies I had though, I would gladly watch any.

When she wants to go to bed, I would offer her some spare pajamas and use of my guest bedroom and bathroom. There's a fan in the bedroom for if it's hot, like it has been recently.

In the morning, I could make anything from toast to bacon and eggs for her. Then I'd offer her a ride home, or if she left her car somewhere I could offer to drive her there. I'd ask to get her contact details so we can go hang out sometime. There are some nice beaches that aren't too far to drive; maybe we could go there.

Sadly, I don't have much art of Reimu by herself. Would anyone like to contribute?

>>11857416
write a book

>>11857416
you should go watch the professional

>>11857416
lol

she wants to fuck fools

>>11857345
maybe if she wasn't so fat she wouldn't be a virgin.

I invite her inside and offer her a drink.
Now we can both get drunk and mourn over being virgins and how we are afraid of being rejected. We will be scared virgips together!

I would tell her to talk to Sanae and ask for advice.

>>11857849
Ooooooooo

Reimu has friends???

>>11857980
I'm her friend.

I don't think women actually make fun of other women for being virgins. They just try to trick the non-virgins into slutting it up because they know virginity is more desirable in a woman

>>11858016
>They just try to trick the virgins

Fixed. Well, you probably knew what I meant

>>11857416
I love this post.
I love it so much.
And all of you as well.

Slap her and call her a slut

How many of you thought of your actual houses and how many of you thought of a japanese Gensokyo house.

>>11858085
My house IS a Japanese Gensokyo house

Just don't tell her you're a virg when you try and comfort her. Even virg girls hate virg men.

I live with my parents, I can´t get a drunk woman here or they will kick me out. So I would stay with her outside the house for a while and then accompany her to her house.

You'll lose your power if you lose your virginity Reimu

>>11857416

>>11858085
I thought of a Japanese Gensokyo house, but in the middle of a nowhere kinda place with very tall grass all over. The kinda place where you could run into Corn Fapper.

Maybe he would assault Reimu.

>>11857416

>tfw no femme fatale gf

>>11857345
Why am I looking outside

>>11857345
Do I infer from the second part that she's at my doorstep?

>>11857345
If I'm acquainted with her, I'll take her in and let her crash on the sofa. If she passes out on her back, I'll turn her on her side. I'm assuming I can't get in contact with Marisa or anyone else. She can get a bite and a bath when she wakes up. I won't bring up the virgin thing; I've said/done a lot of things I wish I hadn't while drunk.

I'll go get Keine or one of the elders from the Human Village to take care of her if I don't know her, since the Hakurei Shrine needs its attendant to not stumble and drown in a rice paddy.

>>11857416
>I could also give her some coffee; I hear that's good for sobering up.
Not really. The hanburger is better since it has protein. Coffee might make her a tad more alert but not by much since that alcohol is still in her bloodstream.

Water and a full stomach with lots of protein can help the body metabolize the alcohol and prevent a hangover. The only thing that gets rid of intoxication, however, is time.

>I'd ask to get her contact details so we can go hang out sometime. There are some nice beaches that aren't too far to drive; maybe we could go there.
No, just no.

HA, Virgin, you never even sexed before

I piss on her from my balcony

I tell her real shrine maidens do not cry, they are born for one purpose to remove the youkai stench

>>11860101

>>11860090
Get lost you non-virgin.

>>11857345
"Uh... here, come inside. you can use my couch."

Proceed to go on with my life, listen to her problems, and let her get embarrassed over the whole episode. She can sleep on the couch or not, her call. At the very minimum, she'd have discovered an ear to talk to.
You aren't supposed to take advantage of drunk chicks for a reason.

>>11857345
i do anythign within my power to get the fuck out of there.

>Magician of insurmountable power
>kills and eats humans

>>11860108
I agree, also I give her hug.

>>11860149
Who are you quoting?

>>11860149
I fucking hate you tertiary shit.

Ask her if she wants to go to a cafe or something. I really want to hang out with her, but my room might be a bit awkward considering I have both a figure and a hug pillow or her.

>>11860147

>>11860166
Whoever wrote the histensoku descriptions

>>11860168
HUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE

No, fuck off cancer.

Can someone post the "you must eat these eggs" copypasta?

Because that is totally applicable here.

>>11860301
Cool Hand Luke?

>>11857421
>>11857425
>>11857426
>>11858071
>>11858135
>>11858173
I'm glad I could make all of you happy
Now I want to hang out with Reimu because video games are making me angry and I want to play something simple like Smash Bros with her

>>11858085
I thought of neither.
What I thought of was a house where this entire scenario is much more plausible.
I imagined it as all one level, white, with low wooden fences. My room was on the right side of the house facing the road, with big screen windows that I left open at night because it gets hot.
When I awaken to the sound of someone stumbling around, I sit up straight and look out the window which is right next to me.
I can see Reimu wandering outside very easily because it's just flat lawn.

comfort her is the answer

I'm so beta I can't even properly carry out this fantasy scenario. So just imagine the the most spineless kind response you can think of, I'd probably do that.

i'll let Reimu qnd i drink dixon cider

see dixon cider in youtube (if wanted to know moe about it)

>>11860255
THAT'S IT. FUCKING DEAD. BEST THING I'VE SEEN ON THIS BOARD. I'M SO FUCKING DONE RIGHT NOW. NOTHING I WILL EVER COME ACROSS HERE WILL EVEN COMPARE TO THIS. THE ABSOLUTE ZENITH OF BOARD CONTENT. THAT ONE ANON JUST PWNED YOU SO EPICALLY AND SO HARD MY JAW JUST DROPPED TO THE FLOOR AND I STARTED CONVULSING. I CAN FEEL THE SEMEN LEAK NOW. FUCK THIS GUYS. I'M OUT OF HERE FOR GOOD. GONNA GO JACK OFF AND I'M NOT COMING BACK. IT'S BEEN A LONG, FUN RIDE, GUYS. GOODNIGHT.

>>11864375
Is your caps lock key stuck?

Neat

>>11864113
To be honest, I think it's only really betas that would even consider taking advantage of what appears to be a drunk and emotionally insecure child. A real man wouldn't really think "Oh boy oh boy, a drunk and desperate girl - it's my lucky day!"

`I'm sick of being a virgin as well"
Then I proceed to get drunk as well, impregnate and live happily married

>>11858135

I would invite her into my shed and ask her to teach me about Touhou as I know almost nothing about it.

>>11857416
>I'd ask to get her contact details so we can go hang out sometime.
Hold the fuck on. Why would she even go see you if you weren't hanging out in the first place?

>>11865070
Maybe they had a good connection when they spent that small amount of time together. How do you think people get into romantic relationships?

>>11859945
For the best results, eat something greasy (something fried) and drink a glass of orange juice before you hit the deck.

Greasy food will help with absorbing the alcohol, while the sugar in the orange juice will keep your body from waking in the middle of the night with a crushing thirst.

>>11865072
Why would she know where he lives if they hadn't been friends in the first place?

>you will never donate to the hakurei shrine

>>11857416
Yer a nice guy, anon.

I might be a simple folk but I'd hang out with you

>>11865082


id donate something to reimu, if you know what i mean.

>>11865082
I wrote a 200 000 word fanfic about Reimu. Is that enough to substitute a donation?

>>11865092
yes

>>11865109
Nice!

>>11865116
All that detail on the pantsu, but the face looks crappy.

>>11865119
Priorities.

>>11857345
At first I'd laugh because really, how would you react if you come across a drunk crying about being a virgin in the middle of the night?

After I'm done laughing I'll ask her if she has any friends in the area I can haul her drunk ass to. After I drag her ass to her friend's house I'll advise them to fuck her because apparently she is really upsert about being a virgin.

>>11865131
Finally the correct answer, Christ guys

I hate Reimu so fucking much.

So fucking much.

And all of you as well!

I heard she eats people

>>11867366
E-even me, anon? :'<

But I love you...

>>11857820
what the fuck is that bitch doing, that's not how you pour a beer

this image is like punching Zun in the face

>>11868418
Why do you even need to pour beer?
Just drink it from the bottle.

>>11857345
I'd telle her that her friends are sluts because that's what they are for saying she's a virgin like it's an insult !

>>11868441
bottles are dirty anon