/jp/ - Otaku Culture

My dad said to me when I get a girlfriend I will become less depressive.

Is dating advice otaku culture?

>>11837306
Only if you apply it to a dating sim.

Don't bathe for a few days to gather up pheromones. Let them come to you.

In that case, left click.

>>11837311
I said girls not flies.

>>11837311
This doesnt work.
Put a plastic bag around your gentials when working out and gather the sweat, use that and mix it it in an aerosol can with something like old spice and spray it on you.

>>11837311
A few months ago my cousins really seemed to cling to me whenever I had been doing some yard work or something in the garage a few hours prior. They kind of always clung to me, but sometimes I wondered if there was a link.

>>11837320
If I spray it in a loli's face will she be my girlfriend?

>>11837279
From behind, with a small piece of cloth soaked with ether.

>>11837321
no, she needs to smell it on you.
Another thing that has become popular on the internet is once you have a girlfriend, put nicotine patches on her when she is sleeping in bed next to you and take them off before she wakes up.

>>11837328
What does that do?

Be friendly, then comeback angry when they mistake your friendliness for friendliness and befriend you.

One thing that posting with my buds on 4chan has really convinced me of is that dying alone is the correct choice, OP.

does anyone want to go loli fishing with me tomorrow? i have $50 and two arcade cards with no less than $5 on them

>>11837330
She will associate the niccotine high with being with you.

>>11837345
That sounds like the kind of insane dating advice you would read on 2ch.

rape. girls always love rape

>>11837338
Are we doing catch and release?

>>11837363
just a bit of casual flirting and playing games with them

"sir, can i ask why you're smoking TWO huge blunts?"
"officer, I'm..."
*turns to camera*
"double jointed"
*cop starts breakdancing*

>>11837364

That image doesn't make sense

Anti-social: I burned someone's house down after beating them with a crowbar because I felt like he was being an ass.
Asocial: /jp/

Wear a cool hat. Girls love guys with cool hats.

>>11837394
I really like Mio's hat

>>11837396
Are you a girl or a fag?

Why not just get one of those Russian mail order brides?

>>11837396

You have horrible tastes in hats and that's why people won't talk to you.

>>11837404
What kind of hats do you like then, nerd?

>>11837402
>>11837404
Whoa! Where did these bullies come from?

>>11837410
Don't worry, I'll take on these bullies for you!

>>11837414
Post a pic of the ones you think are good then, geekboy.

>>11837409

The good ones, dweeb.

>>11837418

No, you'd just think "Man, those are good" without really growing as a person and throw all the necessary training away, escalator of tits.

>>11837425
Whatsa matter? Afraid of being called out on your SHIT taste? Heh. Pathetic.

>>11837427
Hey man, leave my friend alone!

>>11837428
Keep stalling, dork. It only makes you more pathetic and me more right.

>>11837427

No, no need to waste my superior hat knowledge with someone that will just lash out in retaliation of being TOLD, even though you are objectively WRONG.

>>11837279
pulls out your dick

>>11837437
Got any more excuses to why you wouldn't reveal even one hat that you believe is good? You're so pathetic it's literally hilarious. Heh. You probably like fedoras and believe you can pull one off because some guy in the 50s pulled it off. Just sad, heh.

>>11837431

No, stupid, proving how much of an alpha I am by not doing the expected knee-jerk reaction of posting a factually superior hat is more than enough for me. At the end of the day, you are the one with horrible taste in hats.

>>11837441

FINE then, I really like Koishi's hat.

>>11837449
Alright, enough jokes. Tell us which hat you actually like.

>>11837441
I wear blue jeans and white t-shirts because guys in the 50s did it. I also shave with a straight razor, use older idioms that I picked up from my grandparents, ride a CB350 and attend church every Sunday (ironically).

>>11837455

No, seriously. I like Koishi's hat.

So this is Otaku culture

lol joke i'm del thred naw

>>11837460
>I wear blue jeans and white t-shirts because guys in the 50s did it.

I do it because when I grow up I want to be like Hank Hill.

>>11837279
With a bat

>>11837279
Just pack a chainsaw.
Skin they ass raw.

How do I approach a loli?

>>11837496
Let her notice your bulge

>>11837496
Gently, friendly, and kind, and when she is alone with no spectators.

>>11837499
Does this work? I kind of really want to do this, but I don't want to push it into her face or anything.

Man, I want a loli girlfriend.

>>11837496
Try wearing a cool hat. Lolis love cool hats.

I wish we had sage. I still feel gutted.

>>11837507
If by work you mean works really well at getting you onto the sex offender register, then yeah.

>>11837279
>>>/adv/
Fuck you.

1. Decide on your target
2. Become the kind of the person that would be able to get such target
3. Get target

It's that simple. Any legitimately intelligent person should be able to it.

>>11837575
I mean as in a way to get her interested in me.

How can I get lolis interested in me otherwise?

>>11837592
Not him,but you must be pure of heart. I often go to the park and play with the kids.

>>11837598
I would say I'm pretty pure, but I don't know about going to the park...

>>11837527
On my way home from buying a Gen 3 Pinkie Pie Plushie fleshlight I noticed a fedora store, think lolis love fedoras?

>>11837646
Lolis like fluffy haircuts, beanies, and beards.

Quick reminder than Justin Bieber cuddles with and kisses little girls.

>>11837608
Are you handsome? Can you become it? Lolis don't like ugly people anon, unless you're related.

>>11837672
Maybe, I don't know. I can't tell if I'm handsome or attractive unless someone says it directly to me. I also can't tell when a person actually likes me unless they literally tell me they like me.

>>11837667
I'm assuming nobody finds that shit creepy because he's handsome or maybe they're blood related?

>>11837679
Then you're in no position to approach people,yet a loli at your level.

>>11837681
>he's handsome

Yep.

You don't see good looking pedos

>>11837681
Is this creepy? This dog might be watching a ghost fly around him.

>>11837667
First the driving incident, now this. /jp/'s collective buttjelly at this point could create a singularity of Anal Assault the likes of which 4chan has never seen

>>11837684
Please don't say that. There has to be hope for me, right?

>>11837689
I am

>>11837393

I think OP meant it as a general feeling of "I don't like being social" which would like you said be the more "asocial" thing to do since "anti-social" implies actively being against society, which /jp/ has never been interested in except in the sense of being against western society in preference of eastern (in particular japanese) society, which /jp/ has also never been politicized enough to make a coherent, boardwide argument for.

Everyone else is just NEET.

hi /jp/
you have summoned me with the biebz

i am a hat
ask me anything

>>11837702
Are you comfortable? What's a hat?

>>11837706
no this chair is terrible
i am a hat

>>11837702
You don't look like a hat.

>>11837702
Why?

>>11837712
Are you silly? May I tip you?

>>11837696
Think of it as a good thing anon.

For the 5% who get a loli girlfriend, the other 95% get arrested.

Now you don't have to play those odds.

>>11837702
It's past your bedtime, Fran, come sleepies.

>>11837719
the stars do not lie

>>11837720
no

>>11837722
i suppose. i accept dolls

Can we have a decent writer here who can write sagas about lolis? I mean how many years has it been since we had a decent story telling?

>>11837702
what do you think about loli girlfriends?

>>11837734
I could continue the story about going on a bike ride with a loli if you want me to.

>>11837734
I could do it, but I don't want to write about lolis. And making it /jp/ related and lolified would be a hassle.

This coming from a guy who story times on other boards.

>>11837757
>but I don't want to write about lolis.

Why?

>>11837733
sleep is for the weak

>>11837746
lolis are not mature enough to date but they are very cute do not touch them tho

>>11837747
I would've told you I lost my interest in it because you took like days to post again, but please do for the sake of this shitty thread.

>>11837767
Well he mentioned a saga, so I figured it'd be something spread over a couple of weeks at least.

>>11837723
Do 95% really get arrested? It can't be that high.

>>11837396
You have good taste in hats, I like berets and military caps but I could never wear them.

>>11837757
>but I don't want to write about lolis
>guy who story times on other boards.

Thank you for considering but I don't like reading a story in green strings

>>11837761
A story revolving around lolis is not something I want, even if I include a sister character having the story flow around her would get tiresome. Even giving her a Macguffin or hook would feel ham-fisted. Now harem/dragon girls(monsters in general) and pretty much anything else I could work with.

tl;dr : It wouldn't have enough loli for you.
I could do a tour of Gensokyo and have fun stuff happen there and it would be easier having a base to start from. Maybe include the fairies and vamp sisters?

Don't do it. All the women I know are god damn crazy!

>>11837811
Just do a loli story, fuck.

There is the blindmute loli story, its sad and heartwarming.

>>11837790

I love berets, as long as you are not a milfag poser most people look good in them.

>>11837799
It wouldn't be in green, I'm well aware of social conventions, Nerd.

I wonder if there has ever lived a man with a harem of lolis.

>>11837817
Bully.

>>11837702
Can I wear you?

>>11837829
His name is Muhammad.

>>11837821
Nurse-kun and Uncle Anon sagas are 4chan's cultural treasures

>>11837837
Are you permitted a loli harem if you're a Muslim?

>>11837839
I know, but blindmute is my favorite

>>11837279
>How do I approach girls?

The same way you approach guys.

>>11837829
Me, in my dreams.

>>11837832
since i stopped growing in 6th grade i am probably too small to wear gomen

>>11837845
How do I approach guys?

>>11837852
>>>/lgbt/
>>>/soc/

It's that easy.

>>11837846
I had a loli dream again the other day, but this one was a bit different. I was in some kind of school (at my current age) and one of the little girls was paying too much attention to me so the teacher turned her into a cat, more specifically a kitten. She then proceeded to jump into my lap and knead my dick and ball area and cuddle with me.

>>11837852

If I beckoned to you, would you come to me?

>>11837857
#slay

>>11837847
You are a bad hat, who would wear you?

>>11837861
No.

How do I approach qt /jp/sie traps?

>>11837863
small beautiful neet boys
(not u)

>>11837868
>boys

are you a gay hat?

>>11837843
What if the 72 virgins awarded for dying for Allah are 72 lolis?

>>11837872
sorry mom.............

............

...
im gay.
kinda

>>11837860
That's kind of messed up. I don't see how people find Loli attractive,I always just play with them and have fun.Going to the park,talking with their parents, buying them ice cream. No feelings just fun times. I love helping them with their homework too.

>>11837868
see
>>11837862

>>11837867
>>>/lgbt/
Don't fuck up another board you fuck.

>>11837890
youre missin something nignog

>>11837894
What is it?

>>11837905
i got a harem the size of wisconsin i dont need no help

>>11837890
Liking cute traps isn't gay, they're girls too! They're just girls without the cooties, that's all!

Actually, it's because there aren't any single girls left, so traps are the next best thing and their numbers keep increasing. Besides, I don't mind no vag00 because butts are better anyway.

>>11837917
Most lolis are single and more are being born each minute.

Step 1: wait a year or two
Step 2: walk into electronics store
Step 3: buy Occulus rift
Step 4: go to sex shop
Step 5: buy tons of lube and onaholes
Step 6: wait for DLsite R-18 games
Step 7: impregnate waifu

>>11837926
just aint the same dude.

>>11837926
dat uncanny valley
dat soulless stare

>>11837909
Neither do I, I wouldn't lead them on though.

>>11837917
>>>/lgbt/

>>11837933
It's not even bad, why are you so normal?
That's high quality.

>dat

>>11837945
2D will always be superior.

>>11837933

please don't bully gaben

>>11837969
>>>/v/

A few years ago I became a lifeguard. I thought it'd be a kind of fun job, but things soon took a turn for the worse after training. The first couple of weeks were incredibly hard (for me) because I was so paranoid about having someone drown on my watch. Every day started with a practice inury, and every week the lifeguard company I worked for would actually have someone come into the park and fake an injury so we didn't become too relaxed. It wasn't that fun at all. The other guards were really weird too, or really 'normal', depending on your point of view. Anyway, that's not the point of this. The point is that after I became comfortable with the work, I was basically paid to watch little girls in bathing suits. That's really when it became more fun.

The best times were when I was assigned to the slides, either top or botttom. They each had their differences. At the top, you had to make sure people were tall enough to go down and that the person in the slide had actually come out before instructing the next person how to go down and sending them on their way. For whatever reason, I really can't remember many boys, men, or ladies/teens going down. I can, however, remember tons of little girls who went down. They would look up expectedly with a smile on their face, and from my position I quickly realized that a lot of swimsuits on little girls don't actually fit them very well, especially around the chest. I'll be called a pervert for doing this, but more often than not, whenever I could see certain areas of their bodies, I would look. The lifeguard uniform required glasses so I don't think I was ever caught or noticed. Countless nipples were seen and they were always much smaller than you'd imagine, and very pointy and hard from the water. Eventually I became desensitized to them and my interests turned to other parts. Backs of necks, tummies, collarbones, thighs, armpits, bare feet, ect. I have enough memories of all of these parts to span a lifetime of enjoyment

>>11837958
This.
Just use your damn hand, you were never meant to fuck a real girl. Why bother spending money to try out some pale imitation?

>>11837974

rude

>>11837969
I'm sorry.

>>11837881
This is terribly aligned. Animation a shit.

>>11837981
Bottoms were always more or less fastened nicely. I saw no bare loli butts or anything, but I did realize that a lot of them had really nice, cute butts.

When I was assigned to the bottoms of the slides, things weren't so easy. The girls got out of the bottom part quickly, so there really wasn't any time to check for anything that may have by chance been exposed when viewed at certain angles. Instead, it seemed to be all or nothing. Often bikini tops would become twisted around, completely exposing a chest, or the bottom would become very, very wedged between their legs and butts, not leaving much to the imagination when they stood up to walk away. These were always fixed quickly so unlike at the top, you had to be quick to catch them, but if you did you were rewarded with something a bit more exciting.

Anyway, I don't really remember much more about that job. I know I watched the wavepool often, but I don't remember much about it other than getting a little girl out when she became distressed.

Overall, I'd say that lifeguarding is a pretty good job if you can hack the annoying coworkers and nearly constant stress that comes with knowing that someone can die or become seriously injured/braindead if you're not paying attention.

Is it even possible to get a loli girlfriend? Is it possible for the average /jp/ poster to get one? How can I get one? Can I hug her? Can I kiss her? Can I lick her feet?

>>11838039
>Is it even possible to get a loli girlfriend?
Yes.

>Is it possible for the average /jp/ poster to get one?
No.

>How can I get one?
From the loli girlfriend shops.

>Can I hug her? Can I kiss her? Can I lick her feet?
Yes. Ask around the onahole thread. They're experts at this.

>>11838064
Why is it not possible for someone like me to get a loi girlfriend?

>>11838072
Because you're here. Loli are outside.

>>11838076
I went outside today, but I didn't get a loli girlfriend. What now?

>>11838076
I saw a loli playing hide and seek with her mother today, but I figured I would be killed by the mother if I tried anything.

>>11838081
Did you go to the loli girlfriend shop?

>>11838085
No, I went to the grocery shop. Do loli shops go by a different name?

>>11838092
No. You go around asking how to get there and someone shows you the way. I don't know how to get there. I haven't gone outside, man.

>>11838092
There was one site I saw linked on /b/ several years ago. It was called "Perfect Tour Hosting Company" or something that that would have formed that acronym, and had the spiral hearts and triangles all over the place. Try looking for places like that. It would definitely be a good idea to google it or ask your local chamber of commerce about services in your area.

>>11838102
It's probally in Thailand.

>>11838039
Little girls aren't objects you tool. They're just people who are growing up.

>>11838111
Not that kind of shop.

I'm a girl!

Ask me anything!

>>11838124
>1994
Old and busted.

>>11838124
Were\are you a lewd loli?

>>11838124
>>11838125
fuck off.

>>11838128
>>11838126
>>11838125
>>11838124
Fuck off.

>>11838131
You fuck off, fuck boy.

>>11837468

>>11838125

more like underage sc-

oh

oh no

Is four feet tall really that tall for a loli?

>>11837279

you should consider yourself to be a little girl. now the problem solved