/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Quit believing in them if not a human, bullet for a human.

Hire Golgo 13

How do you kill what is already dead, though? Youmu's sword?

Can Touhou outsmart bullet?

>>11377143
Yuyuko is already dead and in the netherworld. Nothing will happen to her if she dies again. Ghost touhous should probably be ignored.

I'm real tough and bench 225 for reps, so I would bench them to death.

suspend her source of cock and let her starve

>>11377186
but there are no cocks in the first place

Going after Reimu in any way would be suicide, Yukari would probably see me trying anything and put an end to it real quick. Even if I did manage to off Reimu, Marisa would probably come to the shrine, find her dead, and hunt me down. Hell, killing Reimu would probably put all of Gensokyo into a frantic manhunt, her being the protector of all of Gensokyo and all.

I could go after Marisa first, but she's incredibly unpredictable, so setting up anything would be difficult. Suppose she would always go home at night, so I might be able to set something up there.

I wonder if Alice sleeps...setting her house on fire may work, no smoke detectors I'm sure.

Sakuya is probably always keeping an eye on Remilia, so simply staking her in the heart would be next to impossible. Maybe do something to destroy her parasol while she's strolling around outside? Although she could easily dash back inside with her inhuman speed since the sun wouldn't kill her immediately, or call on Sakuya for rescue.

Kind of a problem when killing one super powered individual would get you killed by their other super powered friends.

I'll assassinate Mokou while she sleeps.

I might have a good chance of killing her.

Also I might not die while I'm done. Maybe she'll laugh it off.

>>11377197
where do baby 2hus come from then?

just gun 2hus down.

the only ones you wouldn't be able to take are yukari, the moon bitches, and all the other ones that are already dead.

>>11377155
Any named touhou outsmarts thousands of bullets at once. That's the whole point of their games.

>>11377268
They born from superstition and human beliefs, mostly fears.

>>11377127
I'd pretend to like Alice and set up a series of dates with her. I'd carry on with her until we got into a sexual relationship. Then I'd make her engage in breath play with me. Then I'd "accidentally" strangle her during sex.

>>11377310
She's a youkai, anon. She's strong and durable; she won't die and'll just throw you off.

>>11377315
That's exactly why the breath play can get really extreme to begin with and I can strangle her without alarming her.

>>11377320
And the "won't die" part? A youkai can get back up from being cut into a dozen pieces. I don't think strangling would do the trick.

>>11377327
Well how about this then?
I invent a way to deepthroat her so that the semen ends up down her windpipe and into her lungs. With time she'll become unable to process oxygen and will suffocate no matter how monstrous she is.

if we were to drop an atom bomb on gensokyo, who will survive other than okuu?

People still thinking 2hus have sexual desire for normal human to easily exploits, especially a nerds like you? Your delusion can't be this bad.

>>11377237
If you make something look like a precious thing, Marisa would appear. So, plant a bomb in it.

>>11377343
None, because nothing that bad happens in Gensokyo.

>>11377337
I don't see how that would be fatal but choking wouldn't.

>>11377352
This one is a good idea.

Also, someone like Akyuu and Motoori are easy targets.

Lace their supply of hats with deadly poison.

>>11377343
Well if we're ignoring the fact that no normal human could even know where Gensokyo is, Reimu could survive it provided she saw it coming. Reimu flies away from reality and it can't kill her. Then there's Mokou and Kaguya who absolutely cannot die due to being independent of reality. The youkai and oni living deep underground are probably safe. Yuyuko's already dead, Youmu would just probably become a full ghost. Of course if Yukari saw it coming she'd probably just gap the nuke off into space or something.

>>11377310

i love that pillow so much

Distract her pets with shiny danmaku/dicks.

Spring upon her in her bed.

Tear the still-beating heart from her chest.

>>11377337
If you're gonna think this through scientifically, you might as well just choke her, feed her a bit of mercury, sever the connection between her head and torso, deal irreparable damage to any major organ, poke her appendix or give her an air injection.

>>11377374
She'd know of your plan long before you could do it.

>>11377377
How would she? I said I'd surprise her in her bed. I didn't say I'd hang around her house for days beforehand.

>>11377380
I'm sure she'd detect your mind as soon as you came near, mind reading is kind of her thing. And you think you'd just kill her that easily? She's not human.

>>11377374
>Tear the still-beating heart from her chest.
Is this an euphemism for "make her fall wildly in love with you"?

>>11377376
None of those are particularly erotic...
Maybe I could engage in sinful, perverse navel penetration in her and "accidentally" rupture her appendix?

>>11377396
You have to kill her, anon, not engaging in sexual intercouse. Get your shit together.

>>11377396
Sure, if you're insane enough to do penetrate a belly button. However, there are many easier ways which still are erotic.

>>11377402
You can have it both ways, I'm sure. Just killing cute touhous is just so boring!
Maybe I could get her to let me trepanate her and then smoosh her beautiful little brain with my dick?
>>11377407
What do you have in mind?

which 2hu is the most easy to kill?

>>11377402
You might as well enjoy it more.

>>11377413
I was thinking of less... Effective things than you apparently are.

Please, continue.

>>11377389
It's an euphemism for "murder her in cold blood".

>>11377424
The only thing I got left is to find a way to ejaculate into her spine. I haven't quite worked out how this would work yet. Maybe coating her spinal cord in splooge would paralyze her, so if you did it high enough up she couldn't breathe?

>>11377386
> She's not human.
Even more reason to kill her. Your comments do naught but fuel my desire to rid our world of this abomination.

>>11377413
You're still delusioned by thinking killing a 2hu is as easy as raping kindergarten, while we are busy thinking what kind of weapons, traps and tactics we should deploy for bringing down a strong youkai without getting noticed by Reimu or Yukari.

I obviously will not bringing you in the squad, or just letting you approach her alone trying to ask her for a date or whatever even though you're nothing but skinny/fat nerd or whiping out your dick thinking she will all over it, only to have her finger struck in your eye later for your idiotic boldness and delusion.

Well as long as we're bullshiting, I wouldn't and would instead protect and warn the lot of them about all you fucks.

>>11377444
cool numbers

>>11377444
That's not the topic of this thread.

This shit again?

>>11377444
Then unfortunately you'll be on my hit list.

>>11377440
>her finger struck in your eye
Change that to finger stuck in urethra
and we're golden.

>>11377416
One that's human and one that lives alone.

Exterminatus, it's the only way to be sure

>>11377433
It shouldn't be too hard for you to gain direct access to her spine if you use a nice knife on her back. From there on, it's just an issue pointing your penis in the right direction and shooting.

Of course, she's not likely to survive that unless you're extremely delicate.

I verily feel like stabbing/puncturing to death with long needles a skinny 2hu like Miko.

>>11377462
I'm not decided what will she do and I'm sure she won't touch something dirty.
Even thing that can be confirmed is she will gouge your eyes out and add them to her dolls.

>>11377470
>she's not likely to survive that
I though we were planning a murder here? I'm not too picky, though. I'd love to engage in horrifying custom orifice sex acts with an immortal and/or regenerating girl.
Just imagine fucking her in the eye socket, crushing her wet, glistening, beautiful blue eyeball only to ejaculate all over her sensitive optical nerve, giving her a psychedelic fireworks display in her missing eye. Then she'd regenerate her eye during the night while you gently stroke her perfect blonde hair.

Guys, he agreed to work with us.
Now what's our next plan? which one we should take down first? or we maybe still need more help.

Couldn't I just torture a Touhou instead?

>>11377468
This Battle-Brother knows what he's talking about.

>>11377488
I didn't mean that the intention was for her to survive. Nearly eternal torture doesn't sound so bad, though.

Pop her eyes out, put them in a blender and make her drink what's left. Nerves are good for your health.

>>11377488
>>11377531
How would you keep her from escaping this hell? She's strong.

>>11377515
now we are getting very serious

>>11377534
Steel should do the job. Unless she's really that strong.

>>11377534
Shhh let them enjoy their fantasies.
We can use them as bait while we at it.

>>11377531
Tell me more.

>>11377286
Youkai can regenerate from being torn apart.
I don't think bullets will do jack shit to them.
If you really want to kill them, you'd have to use Holy Items.

>>11377310
Would strangling a youkai even kill it?
Would Alice even be desperate enough to go on a date with you?

>>11377516
Yes. You could just kill them afterwards. Which one would you like to torture and how?

>>11377559
Buddhist/Shinto artifact? What relic that's known for be able to ward off/killed youkai in legend?

>>11377516
Is that even possible?

>>11377571
>You could just kill them afterwards.
Why would I give them that release?

>>11377127
It's simple.
Meet the touhou, charm her, then love her with all of your might. Share with her the romance of a lifetime, a bond that cannot be broken or replaced. a million memories of a million smiles, a life where only happiness may find place.
Then NTR her. Ntr her so savagely her heart and mind break. NTR her so hard she dies of sadness.

>>11377581
I really don't think you could charm a touhou anon.

>>11377581
Nerds are incapable of giving any charm even to 3D sluts, let alone beings with long lives and developed mindset.

>>11377584
Well I said it was simple, not easy.

>>11377559
How about pouring liquid nitrogen on them?

>>11377589
I agree with this.

>>11377592
How would you even bring enough liquid nitrogen into Gensokyo to kill a youkai?
There are probably better ways, really.

I want to seal Mokou and Kaguya in blocks of concrete.

>>11377590
Even If you were successful she might ended up turned into vengeful youkai, like Parsee.

>>11377597
Mokou is so hot she'll melt it with her hotness.
Kaguya will use her duration manipulation or some shit to escape before it hardens and freezes her.
Besides they're immortal, I doubt they need oxygen anymore.

>>11377581
Instead of NTRing her, offer her to die together when your end draws near. That's how you kill a touhou.

>>11377603
Just do it again until it works.
I guarantee it.

>>11377605
I'll seal Kaguya in when she's asleep, and carve those anti-fire things Mokou wears into her block.

I know they don't require oxygen. This isn't meant to kill them, you know.

>>11377610
>Just do it again
You think someone would fall for a scumbag's trap twice? even stupid bitch won't fall for that shit.

>>11377613
Good luck finding Eientewi without the help of a youkai who would most likely make you their snack and good luck getting past Kaguya's bodyguards. And good luck hauling cement into the forest without being attack/getting lost/etc.

>>11377632
It's just a fantasy.

...I don't actually want to do that, really.

I blow up the Moon.

I rolled a 20.

>>11377644
I know, but the plan seems like it's just filled with holes to be penetrated.

>>11377596
A liter should be enough. Stuff's cold.

There certainly are, but not as fun!

>>11377650
Couldn't I just lure them out of the forest? They move around.

Could you nerds even kill a Touhou?
I can't think of any faith based projectile you guys could use, and melee is off the table when fighting youkai.
Fairies and a few others are immortal, so they're off the table.
Gods require faith to survive. So I guess if you killed all their followers, they would die. Good luck with that.
Killing Reimu would cause Gensokyo to collapse, which would probably result in your death.
Marisa is a possibility, but that requires navigating a forest full of hallucinogenic
spores.
The none immortal earth based Lunarians are a possiblity, but again you would have to navigate a bamboo forest filled with monsters that want you dead.
The only real possiblity is Keine, but killing a one of the few people who cares about humans seems like a stupid idea.

>>11377653
Kaguya doesn't move around.

>>11377651
How can you kill Cirno or any fairy? They're like semi-immortal they'll just resurrect even if you probably destroy their body completely.

>>11377666
Well then, I can't kill them, can I? The closest would be nigh-permanent paralysis with full sensory deprivation.

>>11377682
To kill a fairy, you must first destroy the environment.

>>11377656
You can lure Marisa out, use precious item as a bait and stuff C4 inside it.

>>11377684
What precious item could you possibly have, anyway?

>>11377688
Cool, we're halfways there already.

>>11377694
Things from the outside world are rare in Gensokyo and something like that will likely attract her interest.
Just use decorated rice-cooker with C4 locked inside it and told her it's some high-valuable item, then let her stole it to make it less obvious.

and Boom!

>>11377701
But if you kill marisa, then i'll have to play as reimu. And I will hunt you down if you force me to play as reimu.

>>11377718
As long as it's not Reimu or Yukari I'll be fine, If it's only a jaypee I can take down one or two.

Also Reimu is way better, Marisa a shit.

>>11377735
But Reimu is slow and has lame shot types.
Marisa goes fast and has lasers.

Marisa is better, Reimu a shit.

>>11377735
Enjoy your slowness and lack of OP shot types!

>>11377656
>Killing Reimu would cause Gensokyo to collapse, which would probably result in your death.
Along with the rest of those inside it.

I think we've found a solution.

>>11377742
Hitbox motherfucker, do you even graze?

Also homing amulets>static lasers

>>11377759
You'd be inside too.
Besides, it's implyied that a few of the 2hus could survive outside of Gensokyo, like Mamizou or Yukari.

>>11377791
Having a small hitbox is easy mode. Real men use Marisa.

master spark>fantasy seal

>>11377814
I bet you're not aiming for scores, faget.

>>11377832
Magic absorber

>>11377621
you overestimate women.
they fall for the same shit over and over again.

>>11377842
We are talking about Touhous though, they're like sages, if not mindless predator.

>>11377435
Are you YAF? You look like YAF.

>>11377857
well they're also girls, right?
I'd say that gives you about 50/50 chance.
Good enough for if it fails the first time.

>>11377873
Are you seriously comparing immortals and battle-hardened warriors to mortal civilians of the soft modern world? Youkai don't reach hundreds of years of age by being easily seduced like that, you know.

>>11377796
Collapse of Gensokyo is not a self-destruction with huge nuclear explosion. In worst case Reimu's death will cause only destruction of Hakurei border and that's not enough to kill any touhou (at least instantly). And even that is highly unlikely. Why would border be destroyed on Reimu's death anyway? She doesn't even know anything about them.

I would go with fragmentation land mines. Youkais can regenerate even if they are cut into a dozen pieces? Then what about one hundred pieces scattered over few hundred meters? And you don't even need to get close to touhous with this approach.

>>11377910
yes.

>>11377873
What kind of girls?
Don't compare girls in Gensokyou who live independently in the mythical world full of dangerous things with real girls who spent their time listening to Justin Bieber and K-Pop or searching for boyfriend.

>>11377912
Good luck finding flying fragmentation mines.

>>11377912
>Why would border be destroyed on Reimu's death anyway?
This is kind of the reason Reimu is important: her continued existence is necessary for the Hakurei Border.

>I would go with fragmentation land mines.
Everybody of significance in Gensokyo flies, so any walking-triggered fuze such as a tripwire or pressure switch wouldn't work.
Youkai are supernaturally durable in addition to having regeneration, and they're used to taking a lot of bullets to the face in short succession, so shrapnel won't do squat against them.

>>11377866
Sure.

>>11377912
I believe the thing that would happen is the destruction of Hakurei Border will caused Gensokyo to get exposed to outside world and youkais and fairies start running rampant.

>>11377953
>This is kind of the reason Reimu is important: her continued existence is necessary for the Hakurei Border.
Yeah, but why? We don't have any explanation and it's really hard to think about any.
>and they're used to taking a lot of bullets to the face in short succession
Those are not real bullets. Danmaku usually is not physical or it consists of some harmless shit like rice and popcorn. And its speed is nowhere near the speed of gun bullets or explosion projectiles.

>>11377581
Your prose a shit.

Why would you want to destroy the 2hus? I'm sure they could make a place for you in gensyoko if you just asked.

>>11378040
Are these strong fucks really care about socially incapable human weakling boy like me?

>>11378040
because /jp/s are the worst type of people.

>>11378065

They all started off weak like you, just apply yourself and get stronger. Friendship is stronger then power anyday.

>>11378067
No, they are not. I see worst people every time I go outside.

>>11378093
No, they didn't.

>>11378065

>>11378096
Marisa did. If Marisa can be strong, then you can be strong too!

>>11378093
I don't have motivation to get stronger, though.
I'm not planning on become a youkai exterminator or become stronger simply just to win their hearts.

And no way I can keep up with those who born with talent or super powers. Marisa must have some kind of inborn magi blood that helped her to become magician.

>>11377645
DC 1000. You fail.

>>11378143
Win their hearts through power of pluck and tenacity!

>>11377351
If yokai are born from negative emotions, then there must be one that is born from my excessive lust towards 2hus and thus craves penises.

It's logically sound, right?

>>11378726
only if you crave penises?

>>11378726
Is lust a negative emotion?

>>11378746
maybe if it's excessive?

>>11378754
The same could be said for everything.

>>11378825
i know, that's why i said it.

>>11378855
Therefore, youkai are born from everything?

>>11378862
from everything you feel in excess, yea

obsession's bad, yes?

>>11378918
Is there an empathy youkai?

>>11378950
yokai don't really exist so i dunno.

Can I use guns? Because I can't take out a Youkai with melee weapons, they have magic and I'm just a weak human.

>>11377298
They're not bullets, they're just magical projectiles which are slow as hell compared to bullets.

>>11378726
No, 2hu mostly born from fears or superstition, like if something knocking at your door at night or you have your key often dissapeared for no reason, and you thought it may some cthulhu monster messing with you, then from that thought a 2hu may born.

There's nothing come out from your daily fapping and moaning towards 2hus except your own jizz.

>>11379227
What if I had a fear of being raped by a 2hu?

>>11379230
Maybe, but it'll become unlikely if you somehow want/hoped to be raped. 2hu will not born from inner desire.

>>11379011
How do you know how slow or fast they are?

>>11378990
Read the thread, we discussed the merits of using firearms against Youkai.
There are no merits to using firearms against Youkai.

I thought you dweebs like Touhous! Why are you talking about how to kill them?!

>>11379449
Because /jp/ wants to be edgy too.

>>11379449

They're all going to die, probably horribly. I definitely don't mean the touhous.

>>11379449
How can you say you like touhous if you aren't willing to kill them

>>11379477
That doesn't make any sense.

>>11379248
I don't think Youkai means that they can see time move slower.

I don't think that's even possible, I think that time is imaginary actually and things just get old and degrade eventually. Time is a tool crated by humans, its extremely useful through.

And since I see bullets go slow then that must be the actual speed of them. Maybe Youkai have better reflexes but they can't dodge a rain of bullets, its way too much...

But maybe... Just maybe if they see me coming and they use their Spell Cards I'm so dead.

I would try to be stealthy but I would probably fail, there are way too many random Youkai in the forests.

>>11379461
I want to fuck Kimonge to death.

>>11379695
The can get torn to pieces without dying, you need something better than your gun to kill them.

Just killing the humans, most of the youkai will die soon after and Gensokyo would disappear, the more youkai would die.
Only 2hus with high charisma like Yukari or Yuuka could survive.

>>11379783
You can kill humans (Reimu and Marisa can be fast how you want but you can't dodge a bullet going 90m/s) with a gun, but youkai won't die becasue they would just respawn, unless you trick the youkai in believing the bullet is made in order to kill youkai definitely and you believe it yourself.

I'm not 100% sure about their mechanics myself but one idea about dealing with immortals is maybe knock them out, stash their bodies in a high tech coffin, automated systems in that box "kill" them the second they are locked in, and then they keep getting killed and re-spawned inside their tomb in an infinite loop.

>>11380026
Or you just could like cut up their bodies and keep them alive, like what they did to Osiris in age of mythology.

>>11379449
We just curious.
We didn't really mean to kill 2hus.

>>11379783
I was assuming I could only bring objects I own...

But if I can bring in a Panzer (assuming I already knew how to use it like a pro) and a Nuclear Bomb this would make things way easier.

Also yes I would kill the human Touhous first and steal their weapons.

Marisa shouldn't be hard to murder specially if she doesn't knows your intentions. Going through the forest is the hard part and a gas mask is highly recommended.

>>11378990
Is that a F.A.M.A.S?