/jp/ - Otaku Culture

But did he read his SICP today?

This is Rider, she's the librarian that just transferred to our school (from Greece too!). When she first walked through the school doors, she was so hot that everyone stopped mid-stride and nearly turned to stone. Thanks to her, the library has more guys in it, but it's not like any of them are really reading, those pervs are just trying to catch a glimpse of her underwear when she leans down to reshelf a book on the lower side (thanks to that all the guys have takent he books from the bottom). Half the guys in school developed a glasses fetish thanks to her. She always wears these tight, ass hugging jeans or these hot pants everyday, is that even legal?

I saw her after school hanging around the our school mascot(white horse), it turns out she has a major thing for horses; in her spare time she runs a horse breeding company, and even has her owned named Bellerephone.

My teachers could beat up your teachers.

>>1116689

If I had a librarian like that I would've stayed in public school and I wouldn't be a shut in.

So ronery

This is Gilgamesh, he teaches the ancient civilization history school at our school. DON'T fall asleep in his class! He gets mad whenever that happens, and starts to refer to himself as 'ore-sama' (wtf does he think he's japanese or something), and he has this trick or something where he can just point his finger and thousands of pieces of chalk and dusters will go flying all over your face. It's not funny, that's how Mike was sent to the hospital but all the students were too scared to report it. He's also got this hard-on for anything that has to do with mesopotamia and all the king arthur crap. Alot of the girls in the class seem to like him to, though he's a misogynist bastard. He refers to his class as just women and children ALL THE TIME. I JUST DON'T GET IT.

I hear he has a rivalry going on with prof. Archer. Professor Archer probably just thinks hes psycho or something.

Gilgamesh also heads the soccer club. He tried to get it named the Worship-King-Gilgamesh-Soccer-Team, but he was vetoed by principal Karen.

This is Illya, she transferred to our school (from Russia too!). A lot of the guys have crushes on here because she looks like a child (i'll even admit it though i'm not a pedophile). I used to think she was a nice girl until she asked me to stay after class one day and turned me into a doll. Half the guys in school developed a little girl fetish thanks to her, is that even legal? I saw her after school hanging around the our school mascot(berserker), it turns out she has a major thing for berserkers; her love for them is like a truck.

>>1116658
These are my milkshakes. It brings all the boys to the yard. They're like it's better than yours. Damn right it's better than yours. I can teach you but I have to charge.

>>1116726
Illya is German.

Fail

This is Caster! She's my favorite sensei at school! Well, technically she isn't a 'teacher', she's just a substitute teacher for whoever isn't in at the time. But damn, every time I see her walk in the class door with that smile on her face my heart skips a beat and my pulse quickens. If she directs her attention at you, 95% of the time it's like she's cast a spell on you and your mind blanks. Her favorite class to teach is literature. She has a pretty big thing for romance novels and happy endings, and occasionally reads them in class. I don't think anyone minds - hearing her speak for 90 minutes is enough to die for. The guys in class have this secret poll going on for the hottest professor at school and Rider and Caster are tied for top place. I voted for Caster-sensei myself.

When she's not teaching, she assists Souichiro-sensei in modern history. I love those classes too. Caster-sensei will always bring in these freshly baked cookies and things and give them out during class. And when she does the TA thing she grades our assignments also! I haven't heard anyone get below a B+ when she's doing the grading, and souichiro-sensei won't say anything back to her. Most awesome teacher ever!

I think there's a reason why F/SN wasn't a harem (for the most part)

Although I do love me some Professor Archer...

This is Lancer, he's the physics teacher at our school. I have NO idea how he got that position. Half the time he doesn't even know what the hell he's talking about! We heard he published this wierd ass journal paper where he talked about this causal reversality thing or whatever it was that won alot of praise in the scientific community.

Whatever. He spends more time dicking around class than the students do. I remember he brought us out at the beginning of one class and said we were going to conduct an experiment on the suns rays. Then we spent the whole time relaxing out in the field. It's not like I can complain, he's really cool as long as you don't make him mad and his classes are easy as hell. The worse thing to do is to cheat on a test. He'll jump on your desk with this giant mop pole and point it straight at your face. But that's only happened once to some idiot, the hardest question on his Final was 'what's force equal?'

Sometimes I see him headed to an Irish bar (he likes those apparently) with Archer-sensei after class. Turns out those two are drinking buddies. I never thought Archer-sensei had it in him. He's also been eyeing Rider-sensei from the library. I think he has a thing for her, but fuck if i'll let him touch my goddess.

bump

>>1116752

I'd watch it.

This ain't your fucking blog.

Tell us more about Caster.

This is Saber! She's definitely one of the stodgiest professors at school (only souichiro sensei can compare). She teaches Home Ec and is one the gym teachers, along with Berserker-sensei.

During home ec, we spend the entire class making new foods that she has in this book. I checked it out once, it was called (365 British Recipes). Yesterday we made fish and chips (she loves fish and chips), and it tasted pretty nice. Everytime though she has us leave the food at her desk so she can 'grade' it, and from what I hear from the next class, it disappeared in the five minute break sessions! Archer-sensei saw her put sugar in her green tea once and his eyes widened to saucers. He's been glaring at her ever since.

She also heads the after school Kendo club. It seems they are in conflict with Gilgamesh-sensei's soccer team for a club room, and I heard some stuff about Gilgamesh-sensei and Saber-sensei duking it out for final say.

I hear she lives with Shirou-sensei, but i'm not sure if those rumors could be trusted...

>>1116807
seconded

>>1116752
FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKK

sensei this, sensei that. I bet OP goes to some school full of weeaboos.

This is Berseker! He's our gym teacher. It's not exactly...the best position for him. He doesn't speak much, most of the time he just grunts and points and expects us to know what the hell he is talking about. Well, we've gotten used to it about now though...

DO NOT come to class when it's dodgeball day though! It's not like it's bad, but berseker sensei joins in on the game too! Poor Kenny is still learning how to walk...

I've seen Ilya-sensei boss him around all the time though. I was downtown one day and Berserker-sensei was carrying a million bags of kid clothes for Ilya-sensei, though he didn't seem to mind. I had the wierdest thought that Ilya-sensei wore the clothes...but I was too afraid to say anything or my days at school would have gone straight to hell.

Oh god I would hit Archer-sensei like the fist of an angry god . . . DAMN. ARCHER IN GLASSES SO SEXY.

>>1116851

This is Rin. She teaches...actually, I have no idea what she teaches. I've never seen her in class, and whenever I see her around school she's usually just sashaying around and shaking her hips as she strolls down the halls and twirls her hair...it's quite strange really.

I do see her sometimes in Archer's philosophy class, and he is always especially tense during those times...you can see the sweat drops roll down his face and he stumbles over some of his words. Whenever he does, he gets this strange half-anticipating half-horrified look and turns over as if his life is done and Rin is about to torture him exquisitely. I heard they were living together, and it's rumored Rin is into some kinky stuff...

Most of the guys think she's pretty hot, though she was listed in third place after caster-sensei and rider our librarian.

>>1116842
>Poor Kenny is still learning how to walk...

Should have been Shinji. God, I hate that prick.

>>1116874
>This is Rin. She teaches slutology.

>>1116874
>>This is Rin. She teaches tsunderology.

This is Bazett! She handles campus security, so most of the time you can see her around school talking to some of the delinquet student's. Most of the time it's bad to catch her attention, because she'll ask you fifty questions, and if she doesn't like any of your answers she'll put on her leather glove and drag you down to security. Even though she is so ridiculously hot and good looking, it's like she's been trying to overcompensate for not being a man her entire life! Some of the guys are turned on by her attitude though, but I bet all of them are too afraid to ever say anything directly to her.

Most of the teachers keep their distance from her. She's pretty good at words. Anything you say to her she'll reflect back on you. The only ones immune to this are the ones like brick walls, like principal Karen and Souichiro-sensei.

I heard she and Lancer-sensei used to have this thing going on, but something happened and they talk only occasionally now. I wonder what happened?

>>1116862

>>1116851 here and thank you. Even though Archer's got eyesight like WOAH . . .

>>1116874
As it should be, Archer being Rin's kept man.

>Illya [...] from Russia

Surely you jest. I thought Illyasviel Von Einzbern and company were, as the name implies, German?

>>1116909
I thought they called her a Russian loli at one point.

Anyone have a screencap of the other thread?

This is Sakura! She manages the cafeteria at our school! Her food is nice, but our number one complaint is she needs to add variety! Every day it's always miso soup or ramen or something that's japanese. We want variety! We want more! We want fish and chips. Saber-sensei doesn't seem to mind, and will eat anything at the cafeteria, but we're not all like her!

Sakura also talks in this very quiet voice. She seems like the timid kind, but I bet she has some strange passive agressive tendencies. I heard she spiked professor Saber's food one time because of some argument over Shirou-sensei, but it had no affect on Saber because she has high resistance.

Sometimes after school I see her hanging out with Rider behind the gym near the horse pen. It seems those two are friends, though Sakura isn't a big fan of horses.

This is Karen, she's the principle at our school. She's got this curly white hair and beautiful pale skin. More of the class would like her if her attitude wasn't so out there. She was sent from our sister branch in British to replace our old principal, but i'm not sure if there is any improvement. She's very quiet, and I remember when she called me to her office, she had me sit down, stared at me for 15 minutes, smirked, and then dismissed me. I get gossebumps to this day. I don't understand, it must be a british thing.

All the male teachers are scared of her. Even Gilgamesh-sensei is too scared to call her just women and children. She has the wierdest fashion sense also. She will walk down the halls and the guys will turn because you can see high thighs all the way to her crotch, then she'll turn around and lecture us for being perverted sinners. Sigh.

>in British

>>1116947
Hot.

I was outside class one day and I saw professor Archer outside the local market. He was wearing these strange bunny earmuffs. It was cute, in a strange way (not like i'm gay or anything, but professor Archer can still make my heart melt like Caster-Sensei). I was about to wave hello but I saw he was staring intently at these two carrots...it must have been for dinner. I hear Rin likes carrot soups. Poor professor Archer - I also hear Rin orders him to do all the house chores and bosses him around all the time, even in bed. Not that I would mind being bossed by Rin either.

Then he tossed them up in the air, and this giant hale of wind made me cover my eyes. When I opened my eyes again the carrots were in paper thin slices and professor Archer nodded to himself and grabbed another bag and left as I just stared at him. To this day I still wonder what happened.

Needs Shirou and Shinji

>>1116947
>in British

wow

does Assasin get to be the janitor?

>>1116885
>tsunderology.

Oh GOD. THE BEST MOTHERFUCKING CLASS EVER.

One day Gilgamesh-sensei was absent so Caster-sensei subbed for him. All the students cried out in happiness and Caster-sensei was happy because she liked teaching history. She brought in these muffins that she snuck out from Saber-sensei in home ec (I have no idea how ANYONE could have done that. It must have been magic) and gave them to us. That day were reviewing ancient greek mythology, so we were reading stories. Caster-sensei was very surprised that we were reading about Medea. Half-way through the story when we reached the good part (Medea chopped her brother in bits and tossed them in the river to distract her father), Caster-sensei began to cry - each sob felt as if she were tearing my heart out, I just wanted to comfort her in any way possible. The rest of the class felt the same way, so we just stopped reading at that point. I guess while she liked romance stories, but sad endings just got to her. She really empathized with Media.

This is Shirou. He teaches politics and also works as a janitor to repair things. I don't know...he seems a little too naive to me. We were discussing about corrupt regimes and societies role, and he said something like we can change them with our hope or something similar to that. Most of the class just stared at him. He really needs to take lessons from someone more learned and intelligent, like Archer-sensei.

He is pretty good as a janitor though! The school hasn't had a broken pipe for over half an hour in years! I asked him in class why he was so fast at fixing things and he said he was just good at imaging things in his mind.

I hear he's a player though...Saber and Sakura-sensei seem to be fighting over him, though why is still a mystery to me.

>>1116996

>>1117009
I can't help but see a raging boner in the thumbnail.

>>1117017

Fuck you, now I can't unsee.

>over half an hour in years!

>>1117017

Now I can't either.

Recently I had just discovered that Gilgamesh-sensei doesn't need to teach ancient civilization. He's filthy rich! I had spotted Lancer and Archer-sensei moseying out of the Irish pub they go to alot so I followed them for a bit because I was curious, and they wandered over to professors Gilgamesh's along with Saber-sensei for some late night partying. He lives in this giant mansion at the outskirts of town, and I hear that he in his part-time manages Babylon Corporation, which is one of the largest companies in the world. Why he is teaching at Fate I have no idea. He must really enjoy his students, though he never admits it (at least throwing chalk at us).

>>1117017

oh wow.

>>1117037
Gilgamesh is actually Batman.

>>1117017
Goddammit...

We took a school trip to the beach, with the entire faculty. Even Rider came! She worse this two-piece bikini...half the guys in class stopped to stare, and the other half had to head off to the restroom because they 'suddenly developed cramps'

We played this game were we had to smash this watermelon with a bat. Rider-sensei drew the first spot, so she was first up. Then we saw a different side to her. She raised the bat and suddenly screamed, it was like 'something of chivalry' or something like that. And on the first hit, she broke the watermelon in half!

Juice sprayed all over her and stained her bikini red, then she gave this smile/moan and you could see the outline of her...well, needless to say, the other half of the guys developed 'cramps' and had to go to the restroom to.

>>1117070

Must be kinda weird having a teacher that's only a few inches tall. Does she let you cover her in hot glue?

Thank goodness after that game, Gilgamesh and Lancer-sensei finally arrived with Archer and Saber-sensei. It seemed they all flew in by Gilgamesh-sensei's personal helicopter! Gilgamesh even brought a new watermelon for us, so we managed to play again. This time we drew again, and professor Saber drew first, so we let her have first try again.

It was another bad idea. Even blindfolded she struck the watermelon with such a force that everyone in a 300 foot radius was covered in seeds, and the sight wasn't as pretty as Rider-sensei covered in juice.

Needless to say, we switched games.

>>1117086

Do you have enough sunscreen in stock, King of Heroes?

After we played at the beach, we retired to the lodge at night (paid by our school). I had wanted to use the sauna facilities and bath facilities but as I neared the door I saw a bunch of guys jetting away from the entrance, their faces white.

When I entered, Gilgamesh-sensei was lounging in the hot tub by himself, playing with a toy rubber lion. He saw me enter and gave me a star(after he hid his lion). Evidently, this bath was only big enough for one of us. I wanted to get in, so I inched forwards.

Then he said, 'if you have the conviction to come in, trash, then prepare yourself to suffer the consequences of your insubordination!'

I left and went to another one instead.

>>1117070
fapfapfapfap

shit needs to be archived

>>1117093
More like

King of Speedoes

I wanna know about the kinky extra-curiculiar activities that Archer and Rin sensei are getting into!

>>1117125
http://archive.doesntexist.org/jp/cgi-board.pl/thread/1116658

>>1116658

This entire thread made me laugh like a loon.

Do want Tsukihime edition.

>>1117086
Lancer's side muscles make it look like he's got his hand in his pants.

>>1117497

can't unsee.

One day I saw professor Lancer and Archer following Rin-sensei down the street. It seems she had found out that Lancer and Archer were drinking together and she was a little mad at Archer for keeping this a secret from her. Did she think he was cheating on him or something? Archer-sensei had this wierd expression that was kind of anticipatory and anxious at the same time, like he was expecting some punishment back home. I don't know what professor Lancer was going, but I think he lives in the general area of Archer.

This is Winkel, he teaches non-euclidean geometry at my school. He always teaches by teleconference, but we've never seen what he really looks like. We've never seen the camera on our end, but he can always tell whenever somebody raises a hand or even mutters a retort. It's as if he can perceive all sides of the classroom at once. Nobody ever understands how to follow his four-dimensional coordinate systems.

He also has this weird habit of calling students by their siblings' names. Not just their older siblings who are already long gone, but infant siblings still in diapers. This one guy said Winkel-sensei called him by his 50-year old uncle's name. Sometimes it's hard to tell if this Blick Winkel can really see everything or if he's just clueless.

The drops of molten wax dripped across Archer’s tan skin, the beads hardening solid as they slid across his bare, wide chest. He cried out, the sound muffled against the cloth stuffed in his mouth, his eyes half-lidded with exquisite pleasure. He struggled against the bindings that shackled his arms and legs to the bed-posts. There was to be no escape this time until he had satisfied his master.

Rin smirked, and touched a digit to him, circling her fingertips across his nipple. He moaned, the sensations shooting to his core. She straddled him, adding extra weight to restrict his movements. “Archer. So you went drinking with Lancer again?”

His response was a few more muffles. Laughing, Rin removed the covering from his mouth.

“Rin,” He gasped, breathing in deep breaths of air, “It was…an accident…forgive me…”

Rin’s palm flew the air, impacting against Archer’s cheek. It left an angry red mark. Her marking.

“You know the price for my mercy…” She pulled her shirt off, revealing her breasts. “I’ll have you service me for the rest of the night…”

what an unexpected turn of events

Saber watched as everyone ran away to wash themselves of the watermelon.

Reaching down, she picked up a shattered piece and wiped of clean of sand.

She took a bite.

"Still tastes good..."

>>1117577

I came.

>>1117577
We SO should have had an Archer/Rin route . . . think of all the kink.

yah, i had to suffer through all those shirou scenes...