/jp/ - Otaku Culture

epic roleplay, burger-san.

Sure, I bet I can beat a little girl in a drinking contest.

>>10922616
Don't be so sure, she's pretty good at this!

Challenge accepted, oni

But, I'll just follow Japanese lore and cheat.

When an oni challenges a human, the human is expected to cheat if they are to win.

I'd fool her by either messing with the clock, or....

Whoever falls down first eh?
I wait for her to be nearly done with her first turn, then when she's not expecting it, I trip her up and push her to the ground.

>>10922648
It's more practical to push her down while she's still drinking.
No empathy for the opponent.

>>10922648
She'll notice if you do that, and she'll destroy you.

>If you lose, you still get to go to Gensokyo, however Suika and Yuugi will keep you in a cage and bully you/beat you up for hours every day.
It's like you are saving me the trouble of finding them in the first place.
Win or lose, I win!

But I must emerge victorious if I wish to win an Oni's heart and keep my dignity. But Onis don't like trickster humans who bend the rules, so I must be honest and careful.

You don't specify how much I must drink in those two minutes, so I only drink sparingly during that time whilst I hope that Suika takes big, hearty gulps.
I will also offer her a hug, but duck away when she is drunk. Might not be nice, but I need her to stumble. Perhaps I can take her down and have us both fall together in each others arms, a fair end to this contest. On the ground, we can both drink our fill unburdened by the constraints of a contest.

Also, I'm drinking right now.

>>10922671
>You don't specify how much I must drink in those two minutes

Sorry - as much as you are physically able to drink.

She wouldn't be mad if a human were to cheat.

Onis ASSUME humans will cheat, the oni's superior powers vs the human's ability to cheat is the sport in the competition.

>>10922681
Does the same rule apply to Suika? Or does she drink as much as we do?
If its the latter I don't think you'd be able to win without thinking outside the box.

>>10922605
Lassie must be real confident to challenge a half irish, half mexican, half russian to a drinking match.
Bring it on I say, laddehs, bring it on and khorosho.

>>10922690
For the sake of the contest, she's limited to the drinking abilities of the average human.

>>10922704
Looks like I'll be destroying what's left of my bladder.

>I get to go to Gensokyo and do whatever I want with her

My determination will not allow me to fail.

Suika would have to come to our world to hold this contest.

Our realm has such an utter antipathy to magic and the supernatural that it would surely negate her oni prowess, rendering her ability to drink copious amounts of alcohol onto that of the level of a human girl of her stature, or thereabouts.

I'm utterly inexperienced with alcohol, but I think I could do this. My burning desire would fuel me, and keep me steady.

Goodbye, everyone. I'll be in Gensokyou before you know it.

>>10922681
Egads! How difficult!
But I still aim to be victorious.
I shall still accept Suika's challenge.

Hmmm, perhaps I can sit in a chair to spin in and steady myself in it. Or just do it sitting down! You don't specify that I must stand! Suika is already sitting in your pic, or maybe she has already lost?

But if not, then I think I might still be able to manage. I drink quite a bit and have never stumbled or fallen over in stupor. Staying upright might be doable, but in comparison to Suika, it might be difficult. If worst comes to worst, I can vomit yet still keep upright, as you don't specify if I can vomit! I'll void my stomach yet still remain upright!

If worst comes to worse, I shall stick with my original plan of hugging Suika! I shall cling to her for support. If she wants me to fall, she must tumble with me. And we will fall together in each others' arms.
You didn't say I couldn't hug Suika!

>>10922704

Average human

Okay, so the fact that she's an oni doesn't actually matter then and her stomach and body are smaller so it would be easy to win.

>>10922605
Who gets the first drink?

>>10922704
so all we actually have to do is outdrink an average human loli
this is like the easiest thing
even if it was just an average human non-loli it'd be easier, as I have shit on the line and will kick more asses, and have above-average tolerance anyway

>>10922730
>Hmmm, perhaps I can sit in a chair to spin in and steady myself in it. Or just do it sitting down! You don't specify that I must stand!
You do have to stand.

>>10922731
>>10922724
>>10922743
No, she can still hold her drink like an oni.

>>10922733
You.

>>10922704
I feel that I could easily surpass the drinking ability of an average human. Along with the promise of going to Gensokyo with the cutie Suika, this battle is a sure win!

I accept your challenge, Suika!

>>10922757
I meant that she is only limited to drinking about the same amount as you within 2 minutes.

>>10922724
We believe in the power of drunks, though. She should be fine.

>>10922768
Can she attack you during the contest?

>>10922751
Then I'll just regurgitate the alcohol.
Didn't say I couldn't just vomit it up.

Or I dunno, you keep bending the rules and destroying my plans. But you didn't ansewer all of my questions.

>>10922605
Drinking from a gourd for 2 straight minutes? Like gulping down sake for two straight minutes?

>>10922778
Can I attack her?

I either cheat or lose.

Perhaps if I had time to prepare I would buy the best alcohol I could find and during the contest threaten that I will smash it on the ground if she doesn't fall. That depends on how much she loves to drink, though. Does she love drinking enough?

But before then I could try tickling her until she falls. I'd have to start the moment she starts drinking or else I might not be able to tickle her enough before it's my turn, then she'd most likely return the favor.

I doubt these will work, though.

I'd accept, but try to find some way to cheat. There's no way in hell I could beat an average joe at a drinking contest, let alone an oni drunkard (even with humanized constitution). My balance is shit-tier even when I'm completely sober.

I don't even drink what a shitty contest. Couldn't I challenge Yuugi to a wrestling contest or something instead?

>>10922778
No, she's confident that you will fail on your own.

>>10922781
Yes, you're allowed to vomit/hug her once.

Here, I'll restate the rules -
Drink and don't stop drinking for 2 minutes, then, while standing, spin around twice without falling down. If you fall down at any point during the contest, you lose. You're not allowed to attack each other. She drinks just as much as you, but she isn't a lightweight, so she still provides a challenge. You go first. If you can come up with a way to cheat without letting her notice, it's fine, but something obvious like pushing her or tripping her won't work and she'll kill you.

Grab her horns for support!

>>10922605
>Dying of liver failure while being caged in by demons.
>Being sterile for life.
>Dying of liver failure while staying with people who don't speak english.

>>10922751
I have two solutions.

Ignoring the fact that drinking for two minutes straight is impossible: after your drink and spin, you collapse onto Suika as you hand her the gourd. She will hit the ground first, falling onto her back while holding the gourd, making her the loser.

Before drinking, you toss the gourd away at just the right distance and speed so that she must dive to catch it. Since she is sliding on the ground, she has lost the game.

>>10922803
>If you can come up with a way to cheat without letting her notice, it's fine

Worth a shot. ZUN said she's never sober, so she shouldn't be THAT hard to fool.

that hangover would be awful, i'd just settle for マゾ

>>10922803
In light of new rules, I have given up my ambition of winning.

I'll simply play it completely straight, like an honest man, and pray I win.

Does collapsing into the chair you sit in while not drinking count as "falling down"? I'd aim for that, to increase my chances. Spin twice, and just immediately collapse into my chair.

Either way, I am hoping that playing the contest honestly will endear me into her heart, even just a little bit, so that when the time comes she wont beat me/bully me too hard. I have conviction in my honesty, so I might even be able to impress them enough to release me somewhere down the line.

Okay, but the drink has to be my cum spiked with 151. So even if I'm bullied for the rest of my life, I'll always be able to look back fondly on Suika pouring my jizz down her throat and all over her face.

>>10922835
>Does collapsing into the chair you sit in while not drinking count as "falling down"?
Yes, you must remain on your feet. Try your best!

>>10922865
See you in the cage.

I just got a better idea for a rule. When we're spinning in place, my dick must be in her. Let's see if she can still stand after I let her off.

>>10922909
You don't get to do that until you win!

I'd start to get emotional and cry.

Maybe she'd feel pity for me.

>>10922926
Oni despise weakness. If you used that pathetic tactic, it's far more likely to make her hate you.

>>10922931
What's she going to do? Lock you in a cage and bully you? If I recall, that was going to happen anyway.

Would they bully me with their pussies?

>>10922947
i sure hope the bullying at your schools wasn't anything like that

I would challenge her to a spellcard duel rules game of Phantasmagoria of Dim. Dream before she said anything. You can't refuse a spellcard duel and it's ballsier for a human to challenge an oni.
Also, I'm probably better at Phantasmagoria of Dim. Dream than she is.

Of course I would accept. My years of heavy drinking will finally pay off!

>>10922803
>No, she's confident that you will fail on your own.
Then why did she challenge me?
That's not very nice...

Perhaps I must persuade or seduce her. I am already drunk as is, right now.
Surely this is unfair to the contest, and she must get drunk as well! Before we begin, that is.

Well anyway, I get one free Suika hug, so that seems worth it.

Regardless, challenging her normally is an assured defeat. She drinks all the time and outdrinking an Oni is outside the feasibility of even the hardiest of humans.
I must find an unconventional way for her to fall.
What could make an Oni bend?

Perhaps ask for her hand in marriage! But I would have to fall and get on my knee first! I would need her to propose for that to work....

I accept. I can hold my liquor pretty well, and unless there's some magic bullshit involved I should be able to beat her, though drinking for a solid 2 minutes my stomach will be full way too fast.

How about we just pull from the gourd and pass after a pull, the first to fall loses?

>>10922931
I could just get horrifically wasted and laugh away with the night with her then.

Better chances?

>>10922970
>drinking for a solid 2 minutes
Yeah, OP you have to clear this up. I'm pretty sure this is impossible.

>>10922975
This. The contest is rigged if this is the case. I'm no medical expert, but I'm fairly certain if you drank hard liquor for 2 minutes straight, you would die. You're certainly not going to be able to do it more than once.

>>10922971
>Better chances?

Nah. But it'd be a pretty fun way to lose, wouldn't it.

>>10922605
Fine I guess I accept. However, I must put on Slavic celebratory music first and bring out the bacon and sausage. Channel the glory of Slavic ancestors to win this contest.

>>10922991
Sake isn't really hard liquor, though.

>>10922975
>>10922991
You won't die and your stomach fill up, it's magic etc.

>>10922812
No response from op. This is the winner.

>>10923002
stomach won't*

>>10922803
If she must drink as much as I do, in those two minutes, I must use this to my advantage.....

In my first drink, I will chug as much as humanly possible. And by that, I mean as much liquid I could physically fit in my body, and let any else flow down my face. The sake is infinite, and so I shall swallow the entire ocean. For two entire minutes.

It is here where I shall use my one allotted vomit. I shall throw up all that sake. After I have drank and spun around, of course. Before the alcohol has set in, but enough time to void my system. As it takes greater that two minutes to get drunk.

Since she is an Oni and a good drinker, surely she won't merely vomit up the sake as I have. It would be shameful for her to do so! For me, a lowly human, it only makes sense, but not for such an Oni like her. So hopefully she will drink everything that I have thrown down.

Come next turn, I will drink normally, but take my dear time spinning, as you have not put a time limit on "spin-time." I shall take my time spinning, and waiting for the oceans of sake to take their toll on her body, hopefully enough to get her to stumble and fall.
Perhaps this plan could work....

>>10923002
Well I'm not really familiar with how magic alcohol works, but if it works like human alcohol, and you are pulling a shot every say, 10 seconds, from the gourd (a gross underestimate of the volume you'd be drinking), that's 12 shots after the first round, and you'd be dead after 3 rounds.

>>10922812
A charging elephant stands a good chance of knocking an oni off her feet. Your drunken collapse doesn't.

The second one might work. Maybe.

>>10923002
So alcohol poisoning isn't a concern then? What about spilling? Like if some sake spills out or I cough a bit while chugging?

>>10923017
You simply cannot die from the alcohol.

>>10923028
Spilling some is fine...but you can't just spill all of it without drinking any.

>>10922812
Throw the gourd out the window.

So who counts the two minutes?
And counts them using what?

>>10923045
>Cannot die from the alcohol

Fuck, I'm even more down for this than I was before.

>>10923021
You're not bullrushing her; she will be thrown off guard. Throwing someone off-balance isn't hard at all, especially when they're caught unawares.

>>10922812
>lost the game
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFff

Alright Suika, you take a dive and the next ten dinners are on me.
In fact, make it twenty.

>>10923060
The one who finished their turn sets one of these and shows it to the other

Ok like
How about
you ask her to sit down?

And you ask her nicely too. So you can go to Gensokyo and have fun and such together.

Bring it

>drinking for 2 minutes

OP is retarded!! Just drink the same amount each round, is that so difficult?!

I love living at high altitude. Suika would be fucked (both literally and figuratively) after the first round.

I need to go to sea level and win me some drinking contests

>>10923261
It's so you get drunk faster and spin less.

I like contests where both winning and losing gives better rewards than no participating.

I can out drink an oni

Are there any other boozeotaku here who fears not some light weight little girl ONI!

What do Oni like besides booze? I figure I could do some golden apple type shit like in the story about Atalanta's footrace.