/jp/ - Otaku Culture

so cute

I love milky-chan!

Yukapon a PISS

Fuck off.

inb4 buttmadd janiturd

>>10765317
I want her to be my friend but she doesn't know that I exist.

People reply because they think the thread will get huge and annoying. Don't reply and the thread won't get huge and annoying.

>>10765378

>>10765375
Oh ha ha, very clever.

(I'll fucking cut you, nerd)

>>10765387

>>10765391

>>10765386
This is equivalent to a shiny red button labelled "do not push this button".

>>10765391

>>10765399

>>10765399

>>10765409

>>10765399
>>10765405

>>10765410

>>10765422

>>10765417

Report and hide all Chen posts.

>>10765426

>>10765317
>>10765372
>some randoms
>net idols
NO

>>10765420
>>10765422
>>10765424
>>10765426

>>10765438

>>10765443
>>10765444

testu pantsu

>>10765484
wch lmb trade

Who else non-ironically would trade a limb for a hug from milk?

>>10765484
yes

>>10765484
I would trade my dick for a hug with milk.

That's all you had, chen spammer? 20 or so pics and then you just leave?

>>10765499

>>10765499
What did you expect from a lazy /a/v/ subhuman?

>>10765499

He's weak.

>>10765499

>>10765484
As long as it's one of my legs. In fact, I'd trade two of them for a full-on cuddle.

Imagine being in a wheelchair. Shit would be awesome. You'd get even more NEETbux and everyone would help you and feel sorry for you.

I really wish there was some way I could painlessly lose the ability to walk without it being aesthetically displeasing (i.e. no stumps or mangledness).

>>10765512

>>10765507

>>10765523

>>10765519

Anyone remember floodcat?

I invented that meme.

>>10765517

If you stab yourself in the lower spine this will actually happen but there is a small chance that you will die immediately.

>>10765399
> Chen
> incoming call
> not incoming honk

Shinji...I don't get why he gets all the hate on /a/. FSN is just written to make him out as the bad guy, when really he's no worse than any of the 'protagonists' and a better person than most of them.

What are the main complaints? He raped Sakura and stole Rider to use in the war?

Okay, let's get this straight. He never fucking raped Sakura. He never did it. He never did it. He never did it. He never did it. He fucked Sakura.

Let me ask you this. WHO IN THE GAME DIDN'T FUCK SAKURA? You can't even name one fucking character who hasn't plugged her loose cunt! She is the kind of bitch who will act like she doesn't want it when she really does. She'll say No! while having multiple orgasms. Shinji knew this, he's a fucking ladies man. He knows what filthy whores like Sakura want.

And there's this other big bitch you guys have with him. He supposedly stole Rider and used her in the war for his own greed.

Objection! He was worried about his one and only precious sister. Is keeping your loved ones from a brutal war so wrong? When Shirou does the same thing to Saber it's like 'oh he's so manly', but when Shinji does it it's wrong? He just wanted to protect Sakura. He probably was going to use his Holy Grail wish to tighten her cunt back up or cure her syphilis or something.

The story was written to make that faggot Shirou look good. Objectively, Shinji is a far better character than Shirou. At least he has the balls to take action decisively instead of dicking around like Shirou, and if he weren't stuck with the weak ass servant Rider and no plothax he probably would have won the war.

>>10765533

You're in a desert, walking along in the sand - it doesn't make any difference what desert, it's completely hypothetical. Maybe you're fed up, maybe you want to be by yourself, who knows? - You look down and you see a tortoise, it's crawling towards you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can't, not without your help. But you're not helping. This is what tanasinn is like.

Wow. Just wow.

One of my friends came over an hour ago and brought his new girlfriend with him.

She was decent looking (not fat or pasty or pimply or wearing a KAWAIILOL shirt) so I greeted her nicely and we all just hung out for a while, talking about this and that.

About thirty minutes after they arrived my two cats wandered into the living room and the girlfriend lets out this scary as hell shriek. At first I thought she was horribly allergic or something, but then she grabbed my friends arm and started babbling about how cute they were and that they'd make SUCH A PERFECT COUPLE IF THEY WERE CATPEOPLE IN HER MANGA and which one she'd make "uke" and "seme" (one is a big gray monster of a cat and the other is a sleek little brown spotty tabby). Well, she said more in a less intelligible way, but that's about what I got from her spiel.

She stopped babbling after a couple minutes and just looked at me, giggling. I stared back for a second and before I could stop myself I said "Get the fuck out." I didn't yell it or anything, but I sounded pretty cold.

The incident ended with her crying and my friend calling me an ass and storming out of my apartment, dragging her along behind him.

Should I be feeling bad right now?

Brawler: Shirou saves Caster after Rin kills her master, and she falls for him. Caster likes her men...physically fit, so she teaches him some spells to enhance his strength. The nature of the particular spells Caster uses allow a bit of the residue to remain after each incantation, so the more Shirou trains with her, the more inhumanely strong he becomes. This is shown especially in his sparring sessions with Saber when he puts down the training sword and holds his own with his bare hands. He learns to reinforce his own body and even manages to take that to a new level, with fists that can punch past walls of solid titanium and disintegrate skin without contact. In this world he fights as a defender, who doesn't even kill his enemies, just disables them. The future of this world isn't as dreary as many other worlds, mostly because Shirou doesn't make more enemies by killing their family and friends. But in the end, it is Taiga who kills him in his own home, for sparing the murderer of her newborn son.

I'M A KOREAN
SON OF A BITCH AMERICAN
AMERICAN IS PIG
DO YOU WANT A HAMBURGER?
DO YOU WANT A PIZZA?
AMERICAN IS PIG DISGUSTING
GEORGE WALKER BUSH IS A MURDERER
FUCKING U.S.A

"Faster!" she moaned between kisses. "So hard...need...you...ahh!" Mugi had just experienced her first orgasm not brought on by masturbation. It started in her abdomen, like a sickening sticky heat rising up through her whole body, sending a tidal wave of ecstasy through her brain. Only Stan Lee could make her feel like this...she knew it.

"Anything...ahh...anything for you, Acc...Accel!" Stan Lee shouted, his body dripping with sweat, as was Mugi's.

Realizing she was the only one who'd come so far, she clenched her anus at precisely timed intervals, the inner walls of her poop tube grasping as his cock.

"Ahhh...Accelerator...you feel so gooood!" Stan Lee shouted, pumping so fast his heart was beating out of control...his blood pressure skyrocketed. Stan Lee couldn't feel his left arm, but ignored it.

"I'm gonna fuck you so hard you won't be able too Accelerate for a week!" the man shouted.

"Fuck me, Stan! Fuck meee!" Mugi felt his dick grow hotter...he was going to...!

"Come inside me, Stan Lee! Come right in my quivering anus!"

"It's fuwa fuwa time!" the man shouted, thrusting so hard he felt as if he'd just hit her tonsils. His sweet seed exploded from his tip, filling up her ass.

>>10765526

If I were to make a VN, I'm going to make it about Oreos. The main character is going to be a highschool student obsessed with Oreos. He has an addiction to these delicious cookies. The main love interest is a Tsundere girl that takes away his Oreos to help him, while the rival is a Yandere girl that gives him Oreos. The two girls fight each other arguing what's best for the main character.

He will secretly hide Oreos from his family and eat them when nobody is around. He spends a lot of money on the Oreos and this causes strife between himself and his friends. He would rather eat Oreos than be with them.

Eventually he struggles to quit the Oreos, but due to the nice Yandere girl, it makes it harder for him to quit, as he gets Oreos from another source. The Tsundere girl finds out about the Oreos from the Yandere and gets insanely jealous. She decides to dress up as an Oreo and cover herself with cream.

The boy then falls in love with the Tsundere girl. Not to be outdo, the Yandere girl also covers herself in cream.

The ending is still up for grabs.

>>10765547

I hit my girlfriend today, /b/.

We were having an argument and she went too far. She made a comment along the lines of "your loser father couldn't keep a relationship together and you can't either!". When I was around 11, my parents got divorced and fought for custody. My dad wanted me and my brother because he genuinely loved us. My mom wanted us just to spite my dad. She won, and my dad kinda lost it over the years.

This was too far for me. I had never, EVER hit a girl before, but it happened so fast I didn't even know I did it.

Basically, I cocked my fist back, and flew it straight into her nose. I thought it would be like the movies where she would get a little trickle of blood. It wasn't. Her nose EXPLODED. I think I must of broken a bunch of cartilege or something because blood shot out of both her nostrils, got all over me, got all over the floor. She staggered backwards, hit her head hard enough on the wall to leave a dent, and slumped down.

We were both stunned for about 10 seconds before she started crying hysterically and ran into my room and locked the door. I washed off my hand, browsed /b/ for a bit, and took a dump. While I was in the bathroom I heard her run out of the house and take off in her car. That was about 5 hours ago so I guess she didn't go to the cops or anything.

I'm not too sure what to do next.

>>10765535
How small?

Also could I just stop walking and pretend I've forgotten how? Say it's psychosomatic or something.

>>10765539

Omg hai ^___^ I absolutely luuuv @_____@ anime .> .

Anyways, I was about to start eating, and then the bastard beside me goes "extra-large, with extra sauce."
Who in the world orders extra sauce nowadays, you moron?
I want to ask him, "do you REALLY want to eat it with extra sauce?"
I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour.
Are you sure you don't just want to try saying "extra sauce"?
Coming from a school cafeteria veteran such as myself, the latest trend among us vets is this, extra green onion.
That's right, extra green onion. This is the vet's way of eating.
Extra green onion means more green onion than sauce. But on the other hand the price is a tad higher. This is the key.
And then, it's delicious. This is unbeatable.
However, if you order this then there is danger that you'll be marked by the employees from next time on; it's a double-edged sword.
I can't recommend it to amateurs.
What this all really means, though, is that you, OP, should just stick with today's special.

At precisely 11:59 PM GMT, I press "play" on my sound system, a CD containing a masterful rendition of Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" prepares to play at ear-shattering volumes. I strip the glove quickly before the CD begins, throwing it hastily out of sight. Should I fail to throw it far enough, I must stop the CD player before the pre-arranged five second silence is finished. That day, there will be no pleasure.

Should the glove be out of sight and out of mind, all is well. I sit back, and let the vibrations of sound finish the job. I stare at the only image that has yet fulfilled my criteria for arousal, and a glorious geyser of semen erupts from my penis, splattering every which way in the room. I sit in a half-conscious daze of joy for nearly half an hour before I prepare for the hour-long task of cleansing my computer room once again.

Even as I finish up, I hear the fading whispers in my delusional mind from the image which I stare at so deeply.

Now if you'll pardon me, I shall take my leave and indulge myself in delicious pudding confectionaries before it is time for self-pleasure.

Picture, if you will, an infinite number of monkeys. Each monkey is seated at a typewriter. Row upon row upon endless row of typewriters, stretching out into an unfathomable white infinity. These monkeys will, at random, strike keys on their typewriter with their clumsy simian hands and feet for the rest of eternity or until they produce the complete works of William Shakespeare, which ever comes first.
Now imagine a monkey drinking it's own urine.

That is what tanasinn is like.

Okay, I am fucking sick and fucking tired of these fucking threads about rape! RAPE IS NOT FUCKING FUNNY! Joke about anything else you want, /b/...

Joke about cp, joke about loli, joke about murder, joke about drugs, but DON'T FUCKING JOKE ABOUT RAPE! Rape DESTROYS a woman, it STRIPS HER OF HUMANITY! It is disgusting, inhumane, regressive and insane. RAPE IS OFF THE FUCKING TABLE, /b/, NOT EVEN YOU FUCKING VIRGIN ASSHOLES CAN BE SUCH FUCKHOLES THAT YOU JOKE ABOUT A WOMAN'S WOMANHOOD BEING VIOLATED!

And no, I am not some lesbian dyke cunt, I am a woman. I was raped. My virginity taken from me, I can never give it to a man I love. I was raped again and again and again and again and again by a random stranger when I was 15, And between you and me something amazing happened...and now I can talk to animals! Its really cool! But totally a secret. And you know what? Life's never been the same.

I think one of the worst plagues to hit /b/ is Caturday. If /b/ was once a place where only the Internet's finest would hang out and post the sickest images known to man, now all the cat lovers who never had anything to do with /b/ come here to post their "ZOMG SUPER KAWAII" cat images. Just for the record, I have 2 cats, and I take care of them very well, even though they're male and female which makes the task more difficult. It didn't bother me much when it took place during Saturday, but the "EVERY DAY IS CATURDAY" and Caturday "After Parties" is where it crosses my line. Take the lolcats.com site as an example. The retard who made it has nothing to do with /b/, and neither do any of the fags who replied to him (MySpace fags). /b/ turned from the asshole of the internet to a place where fags from Gaia and MySpace meet to make faggy discussions. It gets worse when the Caturday fags say stuff like this, and I quote:

>Yeah, because Anonymous knows /b/ hates cats.

Anonymous and /b/ hate everything and everyone in the world you idiots, get the fuck out.

Caturday is a reigning plague of faggotry that must be stopped.

At precisely 11:59 PM GMT, I press "play" on my sound system, a CD containing a masterful rendition of Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" prepares to play at ear-shattering volumes. I strip the glove quickly before the CD begins, throwing it hastily out of sight. Should I fail to throw it far enough, I must stop the CD player before the pre-arranged five second silence is finished. That day, there will be no pleasure.

Should the glove be out of sight and out of mind, all is well. I sit back, and let the vibrations of sound finish the job. I stare at the only image that has yet fulfilled my criteria for arousal, and a glorious geyser of semen erupts from my penis, splattering every which way in the room. I sit in a half-conscious daze of joy for nearly half an hour before I prepare for the hour-long task of cleansing my computer room once again.

Even as I finish up, I hear the fading whispers in my delusional mind from the image which I stare at so deeply.

Now if you'll pardon me, I shall take my leave and indulge myself in delicious pudding confectionaries before it is time for self-pleasure.

Picture yourself, in every moment of your life, passing from place to place and time to time. Picture those places and times and picture what happened to them. Has the past gone away when you left it? Is this true, can you not go back? If so, surely this can be the same way for places as it is for time. Imagine that when you leave a room, or simply turn away, a multitude of tiny organisms deconstruct the reality you can't see, and it ceases to exist. At the same time, the organisms weave together a new world wherever you go and for whatever you look at out of the material of that dead reality. This of course implies the back of your head does not exist either. So how does it seem familiar? Because when the back of your head does not exist, these organisms may restructure your brain directly in order to create the feeling of familiarity and of memory.
They do all this, without ever ceasing, out of knowledge passed down by instinct that when you cease to acknowledge reality, they as a whole will cease to exist, because reality is the knowing and they are the unknowing, both in mutual interdependence. In time they may attempt to rewire your brain or body to ensure this does not happen, but it is far more likely just one of them will realize that your brain is just a construct of your thought... and since thought is a product of your brain, that single organism, one of an infinite number of organisms will know it's true purpose is not in line with it's kind.

It's purpose is tanasinn.

"Animated," he said.

This prayer the holy saurian didst impart upon his loyal followers,

the seventh hour of the fourth day of the eleventh month, during

the festival of loli-worship.

The prayer of RaptorJesus:

Our Raptor,

Who art in /h/eaven,

shopped be Thy face;

My little sister doesn't like Lucky Star, so I decided to set a trap for her. When she came home from school on Friday, I was waiting in her closet wearing an Old Man mask. I jumped out and went HRRRRRGGH which made her scream. She realized it was me and started yelling at me, so I hit her with a blast from my tazer. After tazing her for about a minute straight, I started shaking her shoulders and making a low, humming noise through my closed lips. As she came to, I said "I'm Dr. Wily" and raised and lowered my eyelids at her over and over. She tried to break free, but I placed her between her matress and box frame and laid on top of her until mom came home.

The defendant lawyer didn't ask me anything. Then the judge and the two lawyers exited through the door next to the judge's desk (see picture) and after about 10 minutes they came back. The judge says that some people will be dismissed and to not have their feelings hurt since it isn't a bad thing. Hope lit up for me, I was sure I'd get sent off. I must seem like a real sketchy guy, right? Well. I didn't get sent off. I watched as about 5 people got dismissed, all of them silently going "yes!". Then five more people who were sitting in the rowed seats were called up. They were asked the same questions by the judge, this time one guy broke down crying when it got to the question "Is there any reason why you can't serve as a (something) Juror?" When the judge asked him for the reason, the guy just shook his head in his palms, crying, and the judge said "Dismissed on personal (i think) hardships. The lawyers questioned them again and then they went into the door and came out and dismissed some more people.

I believe you shouldn't underestimate ai­ki­do. Now I know you may be thinking, "Why take a weakling martial art like ai­ki­do seriously when I am learning

Kendo?" I can see why you would think that, how can a peaceful martial arts like ai­ki­do beat a powerful one like Kendo?

Well, I have a story to share with you.

Years ago, I was a Kendoka, I thought I was the toughest kid in high school, I would pick fights, and kick ass. I was full of hate, until I picked a fight

with the wrong dude. He was a Japanese exchange student, I still remember his name, Noboru Takeda.

I picked on him because of his hilarious and thick Japanese accent. I told him I was going to beat him so hard, he would go back to China(Yeah, I was a

little racist prick.), he never said anything back, made me wanted to kick his ass even harder.

Well, here comes the fight. I threw men and do strikes, he dodged them like I was a mere white belt. I was tiring out and he knew, I saw the smirk on his

face that made me raged hard. I put all my strength in one amazing tsuki, and he grabbed past it to my wrist and threw me over. My back smacked on the hard

cement ground, and I was knocked out for who knows how long.

When I woke up I was in the school infirmary, I asked the nurse who brought me here, and you guessed it, Noboru Takeda. The next day, he wasn't at school, he

was back in Japan, and I never got to thank him, for saving my life and showing me the light. I soon learned that he was an ai­ki­doka and have been

practicing ai­ki­do ever since to show my thanks to him.

PC gaming:
Poor low res graphics
Horrible sound quality
Immature userbase
Rampant piracy and hackers
Viruses can be transferred through dedicated servers
Paid DLC and updates
Most games have a subscription fee
Terrible outdated controls
Very expensive
Not many games come out for it
Has to be upgraded regularly

Console gaming:
Beautiful HD graphics
Adobe 2.2 Stereo Sound
Mature levelheaded community
Regular firmware updates to prevent hackers and piracy
Top of the line firewalls to stop hackers
Free DLC and updates
No subscription fees
Incredibly accurate controls
Very affordable
Tons of games come out each year
No need to upgrade until the new consoles come out 5-6 years later

>>10765553

>>10765517

Cuddling with milk is not a sensation meant for mortals.

Suddenly, a huge black snake head with retarded-looking eyes materialized in front of them and stared menacingly. In a loud booming voice, it asked "HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?" and everything turned black.

When they woke up, they found themselves sitting in a lecture hall at MIT, amonst several dozen other students. "Welcome to 6.001" was written on the board. Professor Gerald Jay Sussman walked into the room, wearing his robe and wizard hat.

"What's going on?" Koakuma whispered to Patchouli.

"I have no idea. But this is getting interesting."

"Or we'll actually see that computer... so-called science actually has a lot in common with magic." The Sussman continued.

"So procedures are the spells if you like that control these magical spirits that are the processes."

The Sussman produced a wand and waved it in the air, muttering to himself. A bright flash of light filled the room, and a stream of glowing parentheses shot out the end of the wand, dissappearing into the air. The students applauded loudly.

"But... how can he do that? He's only a human, right?" Koakuma whispered.

The Sussman, who up until now had paid no attention to the group, turned and stared at her with an astonished expression.

"What did you just say?" he asked, pointing his wand at her.

Spamming won't make the janitor check the report queue any sooner.

I seriously see people "highly recommend" this movie.
You know who "those people" are?
The kind who say memes in real life.
The kinds who sit in starbucks on their ipads.
The kind who think they are edgy because they play "obscure game" or even the worse the kind who think they are retro because they play nes emulators (mario and megaman, although only mega man 2 because the others are much too difficult).
I seriously have lost friends because of this movie, people who I thought I knew well and acted like their fucking age (2 fucking 3) are now reduced to saying "Why u mad BRO" and "Derp" out-loud and complain that they wish they had such a "chic" girlfriend who would understand that video games can be art and deep" (I heard someone say this, I am not lying)Fucking disgusting wastes of existence. NEETs are better people by a longshot, because they know they are failures and keep to themselves and don't pretend like they want friends. Even worse are the hipsters that actually get a hipster girlfriend, both of them are so happy to find somebody that they don't hesitant to show it off anywhere.

Funny story attached to that, I live on the east coast USA and am in my last year at Uni. I met some girl who I found out came from west coast USA for some reason. Well on her facebook she is "in a realtionship" with some guy back there, and they post on each others wall how much they miss each other. One day I was meeting her to work on some Homework before a club meeting and I came at the perfect time because right when I got there a guy she was talking to kissed her, then when I said hey he jumped the fuck back and said ah, hey and walked away. She was on a macbook at the time, reading that comic. I just found it so hilariously stereotypical.

PC gaming:
Poor low res graphics
Horrible sound quality
Immature userbase
Rampant piracy and hackers
Viruses can be transferred through dedicated servers
Paid DLC and updates
Most games have a subscription fee
Terrible outdated controls
Very expensive
Not many games come out for it
Has to be upgraded regularly

Console gaming:
Beautiful HD graphics
Adobe 2.2 Stereo Sound
Mature levelheaded community
Regular firmware updates to prevent hackers and piracy
Top of the line firewalls to stop hackers
Free DLC and updates
No subscription fees
Incredibly accurate controls
Very affordable
Tons of games come out each year
No need to upgrade until the new consoles come out 5-6 years later

At this point I was afraid to cross the street since I could see bald-headed mexican gang members going in and out of the shops across the street. And this side wasn't really developed, I started walking north(in the picture, not sure if it was actually north) I passed a Subway and a Petshop (didn't go in since there were gangsters hanging out in the parking lot.. So I kept walking and I passed some closed off area, I think they were private apartments or something, you know those gated communities? Then there was a bridge that I had to cross, below the bridge was just desert. This experience was especially excruciating since there were so many cars passing by and the sidewalk was really thin, I felt Like I'd get run over at any moment. I considered going back and crossing the desert below instead. but decided against it.


So I crossed the street again and made my way to the gas station. A few cars there.. no gangsters in sight. There was a payphone here as well. I went inside and got change for some quarters, made my way to the phone and called home, nobody answers. I don't know my father's cellphone number. Tears welled up in my eyes. I tried home again, no one answered. After running out of quarters I went back in to get change (by the way the place is an AM/PM) , then I headed to the side of the AM/PM and I sat on my heels and started thinking about everything that's happened. I started crying. I was so damn frustrated that I just started crying silently so that hopefully no one would notice.

1. get the following items from your local Wal-mart.

A water baby (in the girls toy aisle where the lolis roam.) It is a regular looking baby doll with a hollow body that is supposed to be filled with warm water to make the doll all soft and jiggly like a real, no-boned baby.

3 jars of strawberry preserves. (It has to be preserves, jams and jellys don't work as well.

2. Fill the water baby with the strawberry preserves until it just about to bust and dress the baby with the clothes that came with it.

3. The next time someone rides your ass, throw the baby out of your window onto their windshield. The will see a jiggly baby go flying toward them and then explode into a pile of bright red and chunky gore.

4. The driver stops and is traumatized for life or gets in a wreck and dies. Either way, that bitch is off your ass.

I was about to cross the street when I noticed the the bus was here, I decided I'd try and overcome this tough day and ran over to the bus and got on. Payed my fare and I sat in front where there was no one else. I decided to relax and watch the road go by. I got caught up in it that I didn't notice If we were going in the right direction or not, to be honest I didn't know which was was right or wrong. I tried to pay closer attention to where I was headed, but I didn't know where the roads lead. I don't know how to drive and I've never traveled by myself, I have no sense of direction. I went into panic mode and decided I'd get off somewhere that looked like it might have a payphone.


Eventually we stopped in front of a motorcycle repair shop, I decided to get off here. (REALLY stupid) I decided to have a smoke and calm down and get that buzzed feeling again before doing anything else. So I'm riding my little buzz and walking towards the shop to check for a payphone and I notice some bikers, I ask them for the time (I was surprised by this myself, there was no way I'd do this without smoking a cigarette) The guy answers 6:30 PM.. and he asks me for a cigarette. So I give him and his friend a cigarette and they start chatting me up, but eventually end up talking to each other since I wasn't participating. I looked around and there was no payphone in sight so I decided to look for one (and get away from these guys), as I'm leaving they ask me where I'm going and I meekly answered "ah... home"
They just told me to take care, thanked me for the cigarette and went on their way. After looking up, down and across the road I couldn't see a payphone in sight, nor any place that might have one like a fast food restaurant or something. Then I noticed where I was at. I was somewhere in the neighboring city that's filled with gangs.

After you read this, I guarantee you will feel sorry for me.

Imagine this. You are attracted to women, like you are now (emotionally and sexually), but they do not exist. They existed a long time ago, and no one knows what they looked like (They have a pretty good idea from the fossils, however), but they do not exist anymore. That means, not only do you know there will never be any possibility of you having sex with one, but there's not even a possibility of you ever seeing one in real life. Everyone else, however, except for a very few, are not attracted to women, they are attracted to something else entirely. So in other words, you will never find any porn anywhere on the internet, only non-sexual pictures of women. Everyone you have told about your attraction to women think it's disgusting. To relieve yourself, you get off on the non-sexual pictures of women, knowing it will never get any better.

That's what life is like to me.

I am a degree 6 Zoosexual, sexually and emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing else. Women don't even do it for me. I am cursed to live my life in the misery that my most powerful emotional fantasies will never be even close to coming true.

Are you SUAVE?
Are you a SPACE TOAD?
Are you a SUAVE SPACE TOAD?

If you answered "Yes" to all of the above questions, then SICP (STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS) might be exactly what you've been looking for! Read SICP (STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS) today, and enjoy all the benefits of being a satorized SICP reader. SICP (STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS) is the fastest-growing SMUG LISP WEENIE community with THOUSANDS of members all over the Internet! You, too, can be a part of SICP if you join today! Why not? It's quick and easy - only 3 simple steps!
* First, you have to obtain a copy of SICP and read it. You can read it online using your favorite web browser.
* Second, you need to succeed in founding a Lisp-related meme in /prog/ on world4chan, a popular "programming for trolls" website.
* Third, you need to join the official SICP home /prog/ on world4chan, and apply for membership.
Talk to one of the satorized overlords or any of the other members in the board to sign up today! Upon submitting your application, you will be required to submit links to your successful meme, and you will be tested on your knowledge of STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS. If you are having trouble locating /prog/, the official STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS board, you might be on a wrong web sight. The correct address is >>>/prog/. Follow this link if you are using a http client such as telnet. If you have Sussman points and would like to support SICP, please don't sage this post.

Dark/black pantyhose/stockings compliment you legs and make them look thinner. If you can find a pair of heels as well and combine the two they will really help make your legs look more feminine. It's a common trick that most women use. Covering your legs with pantyhose/stockings also remove most/all problems regarding skin and shaving.

I have defeated countless opponents using Aikido, and they always ask me, Why are you so strong?

I answer, I'm not strong, you are.

Aikido uses the strength of the attacker back at them but 10 times stronger(estimate). Using Aikido and I can probably kill a charging Rhino using it's force right back at it, of course, I'm not going to try it, way to dangerous for any sane person.

I recommend practicing Aikido for every /jp/edo, as you are all physically weak, and Aikido is specialized for the weak to defend against the strong.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDnYNroUmNs

A 50 year old man with cerebral palsy doing Aikido, very touching.

Having lost most of its face, the yukkuri is unable to form any words. Only wet, primal sounds leave what remains of its mouth. But, that soon changes as the molten sugar finally reaches the bottom of the yukkuri. By now, it was almost hardened and the yukkuri was unable to overcome the viscosity. The yukkuri is encased in a prison of hard, but still hot prison of clear candy. It wants to scream, to move, to escape, but is unable to do so. All it can do it suffer.

It wants to die.

But, it won’t. The cause of its suffering is also the cause for its longevity.

Sugar.

Yukkuri biology is extremely compatible with sugar. Just by touching it, a yukkuri’s body will begin absorbing and transmuting it to sugar. Ingesting sugar has all sorts of beneficial effects such as increased awareness, recovery rate, and resilience for yukkuris. It also acts as a stimulant, preventing them from going to sleep and raising their sensitivity. By pumping such a large amount of candy into the yukkuri, I’ve essentially created an undying yukkuri that would stay awake through anything. And the best thing of all… it would be completely fine again in hours.

I stir the pot. The temperature reaches 160 degrees. I turn off the flame. I prepare the syringe. I turn and face my prey.

The yukkureimu looked as it usually did. No physical traces of its earlier experiences remain. But, one thing is different. It’s not moving. It only stares at me. Its mind is shattered, its soul crushed. Nothing remains. I show it the syringe.

It weeps.

Dark/black pantyhose/stockings compliment you legs and make them look thinner. If you can find a pair of heels as well and combine the two they will really help make your legs look more feminine. It's a common trick that most women use. Covering your legs with pantyhose/stockings also remove most/all problems regarding skin and shaving.

her arms were going all over the place as i pumped my silver flow into her person. there were so much quite much even came back out through her nose! her legs started twitching too, it was clear she was suffocating. i finally finished, looked up at the roof and relaxed a little. that was great. then i pulled out, she fell over on the side coughing and coughing. if i didnt know better i would say she cough up all the sperm but that would have been impossible. she had probably gotten a third of my load in her lungs, haha she looked so silly. but that coughing could become quite loud so i silenced her by placing my hand over her mouth. she continued to cough through her nose for a while. after a while when it looked like she had gotten most of her airway free i let her go. "you naughty little girl, you made me dirty again!". She looked terrified. "but.. but...". she started crying into her hands. "there there", I said. "now you must clean up the mess in here". "what do you mean?" she whispered with what little voice she could muster from her sore throat. i grabbed her face and shoved it into the blood-cum mixtured puddle on the bed. "this of course you little bitch! trying to sneak youself out of your work huh?". "n-no, i-i.." i repeated what she had just stuttered with disgust in my tone. "get to it missy!" She started licking the puddle up. Half-way through she threw up. "Oh now you've done it!" I thrashed her around, making sure she remembered to not scream while I did it. When I grew bored of it I made her eat what was left of the puddle, including what she had vomited up. And of couse she had to clean the floor too where we had made love.

I had a strange dream the other day. I was riding the bus when all of a sudden this huge black snake head with retarded-looking eyes pops through the window and screams loudly "HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?" The bus had just stopped beside the library, and I ran inside as quickly as possible; the snake head was now chasing me around as I frantically searched for the legendary book among the shelves. I spotted the distinctive blue cover and ran toward it, the huge head inches from my ass. With great force I pulled the book from the shelf and instinctively directed it at the black head which by now was dripping with saliva at the mouth. It disappeared as it made contact with the book, disintegrating into a flurry of glowing parentheses.

I just sat there dazed for a few seconds, watching the feathery parehtneses slowly become smaller and fade away into nothingness. Slowly, I stood up, still clutching the purple book. I wondered about what I should do with it, then decided to put it back on the shelf. After doing so, I walked back out to the exit and boarded a bus, for where I did not know. The bus driver looked strangely familiar as I dropped the coins into the farebox;

"HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?" he suddenly yelled at me. Oh fuck, I thought to myself. Now I knew why he looked so familiar: He was The Sussman!

Catch the girl with a net spread up in the forest canopy. Take her alive. Take her home. Poke out her eyes and put her in a small cage. Force-feed her oats and millet and figs until she has swollen to four times her normal size. Drown her in brandy. Roast her whole, in an oven at high heat, for six to eight minutes. Bring her to the table. Place a cloth—a napkin will do—over my head to hide my cruelty from the sight of God. Put the whole girl into my mouth, with only the beak protruding from my lips. Bite. Put the beak on my plate and begin chewing, gently. I will taste three things: First, the sweetness of the flesh and fat. This is God. Then, the bitterness of the guts will begin to overwhelm me. This is the suffering of Jesus. Finally, as my teeth break the small, delicate bones and they begin to lacerate my gums, I will taste the salt of my own blood, mingling with the richness of the fat and the bitterness of the organs. This is the Holy Spirit, the mystery of the Trinity—three united as one. It is cruel. And beautiful

I think one of the worst plagues to hit /b/ is Caturday. If /b/ was once a place where only the Internet's finest would hang out and post the sickest images known to man, now all the cat lovers who never had anything to do with /b/ come here to post their "ZOMG SUPER KAWAII" cat images. Just for the record, I have 2 cats, and I take care of them very well, even though they're male and female which makes the task more difficult. It didn't bother me much when it took place during Saturday, but the "EVERY DAY IS CATURDAY" and Caturday "After Parties" is where it crosses my line. Take the lolcats.com site as an example. The retard who made it has nothing to do with /b/, and neither do any of the fags who replied to him (MySpace fags). /b/ turned from the asshole of the internet to a place where fags from Gaia and MySpace meet to make faggy discussions. It gets worse when the Caturday fags say stuff like this, and I quote:

>Yeah, because Anonymous knows /b/ hates cats.

Anonymous and /b/ hate everything and everyone in the world you idiots, get the fuck out.

Caturday is a reigning plague of faggotry that must be stopped.

Dude, when I'm a mom I can only PRAY my child will be gay! xD That way when they finally come out and tell me at first I'll be like o.o *blinkblink* o.o Then suddenly out of nowhere: YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *glomp* *kisses* I'm so happy! You've just made me the happiest mother on the planet! ^.^ Come on sweety lets celebrate by SHOPPING! You'll need some handcuffs, a couple ropes, a whip or two, lots of duck tape and lets not forget latex, sexy, and girly clothes! ^.^ And a couple piercings! One on this ear and maybe two or three on this, oh, and you have to have a lip ring! And let's not forget one on the eyebrow! Ooh, you're gonna need lots of black or purple nail polish! Come on honey, we haven't got all day! I want you to be absolutely ready for when THAT time comes once you get your first boyfriend!

Unfortunately, she was not prepared for my belt. It was an awesome belt, with bullets and spikes and stuff, but it wasn't easy to get out of. After a few seconds, she gave up on her attempt to use her teeth, and after a few more minutes, she gave up. "You're going to have to show me what to do here."

I turned around (I don't know why, but it felt the right thing to do) and removed my belt. I turned back around to find her attempting to get her ribbon out of her hair.

"It's stuck," she said, as if it weren't obvious.

"Start by working out the knots below it," I suggested. "If you don't, they're all just going to get worse."

"You sure know hair," she giggled.

"I get leaves and stuff stuck in my hair all the time when I go out into a forest and just headbang for a while."

She waggled her braid at me, as if asking me to help her. I came in closer.
She grabbed me and pulled me in tight. In my ear, she whispered "forget my hair. Fuck me."

What?

Before I knew what was happening, she was on her knees working on my pants. I still had the end of her braid in my hands, and, not knowing what to do, I continued to detangle it.

"Sing that song again", she demanded.

Buried beneath the mountains of frost
Years of silent sorrow dream and dark

My zipper was down.

My winterwings of evil sleeps in eternal nights
In deaths cold crypts of snow

Her hands were in my waistband, working the pants down.

The moon chimed my return
With the blackstorms I came

My pants were at my ankles. She started to work on my boot laces.

And not with the winds
The Northern darkness marches through the coldest night

She gave up on my boots and began to stroke me through my underwear.

I can't resist the taste of these winds
And bath my eyes in its grace

HI,

Not too sure where to start but I'm a 24 year old male with a VERY humiliating problem (at least to me). My PENIS farts. This is what my latest girlfriend called it. Although she says it's the cutest and sexiest thing she's ever seen, I cant begin to express how embarrassing this is to me.

It can be anything from a soft wet whistling sound to a very loud popping or air escaping quickly sound. Yes, just like regular fart but much higher pitched and can be about 5x as loud. (coming out of a smaller hole, I guess). During a typical hand job my PENIS can fart up to 30 times. My girlfriend seems to love it but I feel like crying. The gentlest squeeze especially at the base can elicit a fart but the worst is when I orgasm.

This is not a health issue as I've been doing this all me life. It doesn't hurt, in fact the vibrations alone can initiate an orgasm. Just humiliating. Most women don't say anything, some laugh but every girl who has witnessed this seems to be mesmerized by it.

I know women like confident men but I just cannot seem to get comfortable with this and I feel it is ruining my life. Girls talk and I feel like the talk of the town. High school was a nightmare.

My question is: Are my the only one. Has anyone else experienced this? I've checked books, done internet searches etc., but can't find anything related to my problem. I don't feel that I can cure the problem but how can I be more comfortable with it.

How would you feel if you met a man who was attractive, kind, sensitive and sincere but PENIS farted?

Sorry if I was being too graphic but I felt like I finally needed a woman's opinion.

Thank you for your help and concern. Best Wishes

I have defeated countless opponents using Aikido, and they always ask me, Why are you so strong?

I answer, I'm not strong, you are.

Aikido uses the strength of the attacker back at them but 10 times stronger(estimate). Using Aikido and I can probably kill a charging Rhino using it's force right back at it, of course, I'm not going to try it, way to dangerous for any sane person.

I recommend practicing Aikido for every /jp/edo, as you are all physically weak, and Aikido is specialized for the weak to defend against the strong.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDnYNroUmNs

A 50 year old man with cerebral palsy doing Aikido, very touching.

Hi /b/.......Im new here. >_>;;

I was wondering if any of u knew how 2 register here........I dont see any place where i can log in. Also, why when u post, your post disappears from the list of posts? Why cant it just go directly to your post. Well anyway i wanted to show u guys some funny pics.....

[img]C:\Documents and Settings\Lisa\My Documents\My Pictures\sleepy_cat.jpg[/img]

[img]C:\Documents and Settings\Lisa\My Documents\My Pictures\woops1.gif[/img]

i hope u guys enjoy them....also, please welcome me to /b/, i hope you are all friendly and treat me well. :D

First let me introduce myself......my fav animes are Naruto InuYasha and Bleach, and i like listening to music (my favorite bands are Fallout Boy and Pink floyd, my favorite song is We Dont Need No Education by Pink Floyd). also, the power level is OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD madnes??? THIS IS

[color=red]SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!![/color]

also, how cum (lol cum) you have to attach a pic? how ghey is that? :p here's a funny pic i found the other day when i was surfing the internet. :cool:

in all seriousness.
all complete seriousness, as in: no more memes or witty comebacks.
all of that shit aside, completely serious right now.
if I had a gun with one bullet, and you were standing in front of me.
but next to you, was Hitler, alive again and ready to kill another 7 million or so Jews.
Honestly, I would shoot you. I really would. Why you're even on /b/ is something I really would like to know. I want to know how you managed to stumble into this place, and who told you about this secret place of the internet.

Honestly, you're the sole reason /b/ is full of fail nowadays. It would give me great pleasure to know that before I left, I could at least convince one idiot to leave this place for those with a positive IQ.

So please, in all seriousness, just leave this place and never return

I have a harness system with ceiling-bolted pulleys and a quick-release cable (got some inspiration from Mythbusters lol).

It sounds like a big production, but trust me it is not complicated. Just step into the harness, snap two buckles, sit on the toilet as normal, then give a few pulls to hoist yourself comfortably 4-6" from the toilet. You're in a normal sitting position, just kind of "levitating" above the bowl.

Anyway you just kind of push and as soon as it starts to poke out, you pull the quick release and you drop right onto the toilet seat, but gravity causes your poop to keep going. The extra momentum basically "pulls" your poops right out of you with kind of a vacuum sensation (you feel really empty and clean afterwards). The difference is like brushing your teeth at home vs. getting a dental cleaning.

This is how you shit like an alpha male. One warning though, 4-6" is the max I would try. I was being retarded and showing off for a Youtube demo, and I tried simulating from 1-2 feet off the bowl. I busted my ass so hard that I passed out and woke up on my cold tile floor all stiff and bruised.

I believe you shouldn't underestimate Aikido. Now I know you may be thinking, "Why take a weakling martial art like Aikido seriously when I am learning Kendo?" I can see why you would think that, how can a peaceful martial arts like Aikido beat a powerful one like Kendo?

Well, I have a story to share with you.

Years ago, I was a Kendoka, I thought I was the toughest kid in high school, I would pick fights, and kick ass. I was full of hate, until I picked a fight with the wrong dude. He was a Japanese exchange student, I still remember his name, Noboru Takeda.

I picked on him because of his hilarious and thick Japanese accent. I told him I was going to beat him so hard, he would go back to China(Yeah, I was a little racist prick.), he never said anything back, made me wanted to kick his ass even harder.

Well, here comes the fight. I threw men and do strikes, he dodged them like I was a mere white belt. I was tiring out and he knew, I saw the smirk on his face that made me raged hard. I put all my strength in one amazing tsuki, and he grabbed past it to my wrist and threw me over. My back smacked on the hard cement ground, and I was knocked out for who knows how long.

When I woke up I was in the school infirmary, I asked the nurse who brought me here, and you guessed it, Noboru Takeda. The next day, he wasn't at school, he was back in Japan, and I never got to thank him, for saving my life and showing me the light. I soon learned that he was an Aikidoka and have been practicing Aikido ever since to show my thanks to him.

So while everyone else finished giving their answers, I sat there in my shame. Then it was the lawyers' turn to do some questioning of their own. First was Kenshin she asked the other jurors things like "are you easily fooled?" and bullshit questions like that. Then she got to me. She asked me what I'm doing while waiting to go to college. Fuck fuck fuck. At that moment everything went into slow motion and everyone's eyes were on me. I couldn't come up with anything and simply said "...nothing really" Oh. So then you're a little young aren't you? "Yeah." Have you ever drank before? "No ma'am" Ah. I assume you don't smoke either? (oh fuck, did she see me?) Uhh. No ma'am. (what a terrible lie, I'm sure I smelled a little like cigarettes) Well, what do you think of drunk driving? Then the judge stopped her and said her time was up. It was the defendant's turn and she asked bullshit questions as well like "Can you remember things easily?" Basically they asked seemingly off-topic questions.

I once caught my physics teacher, quite a hot MILF actually, saying some really harsh stuff to another teacher about one kid that sucked at her subject. (Didn`t do his homework, general misbehaving, etc.) I mean REALLY harsh stuff. She and that other teach must`ve been huge friends, because she was openly telling her all that shit, but when she found out, she totally flipped.

I hinted very subtly after one of her lessons that I had overheard her little rant and she got so nervous. I mean, I didn`t even care about that kid she slammed, but she was so sure I was going to tell on her.

We were alone in the classroom (I had waited until everyone left so I could tell her that I knew about the incident.) so she quickly ran for the door and locked it from the inside. Then she grabbed me by the shoulders and asked in a panicky whisper whether I was going to tell on her. "No, of course not!" I said, but she just blurted out the good old "I will do anything, just please don`t tell!”

Oddly, I didn`t even think of sex, but she grabbed me even more tightly, and kissed me. I was totally taken aback, but she was already unzipping my jeans. She didn`t blow me, a quick hand job and a 10-minute doggy-style (thank god I wasn`t a virgin back then) with her bent over the desk. She actually moaned a bit, but I think she was more concerned with getting her name cleared. (Oh, the irony.)

Needless to say, I came all over her naked back.

I think she realized quite quickly that I was never going to tell on her in the first place, because she was a bit cloudy during the following days, but I still got along with her fine until I graduated.

>100 replies in 30 minutes

S-sugoi... you really love milk-chan, /jp/.

"Now perish!" The Sussman shouted, conjuring a huge pair of parentheses from his wand, which surrounded the group and enveloped them in a closure.

"What do we do now?!?!" Koakuma screamed at Patchouli.
"I don't know!" she shouted angrily in reply as the both of them hammered as hard as they could against the invisible, unyielding walls of the closure.

"I hope you learned your lesson, freaks!" The Sussman exclaimed, as the closure rose up towards the ceiling with the two trapped inside, exploding into a shower of white parentheses as it hit the top. The Sussman returned the wand to his pocket and continued lecturing.

...

"Where... are we?" Koakuma whispered as she opened her eyes to find Patchouli lying next to her.

are you fucking dumb? your damn nigger country cant even compete with us economically, 2 of your cities are one of the worst polluted cities IN THE WORLD. you make damn shitty quality products that puts every 3rd world country into shame if ever there would be a contest who would make the shittiest quality products. your shitty economy is nothing but 1/3 of our gdp, i could even throw a dollar in any chinese street without giving A SINGLE FUCK. suigin a total dumbass who's just destined to make our shits in some smelly factory in china while we live in luxury. most of your textbooks came from america because we're damn intelligent and genious. if you're iq is damn high, why can't your country even be a 1st world country? you dipshit are nothing but soulless chinks pretending to have a social life, but in reality, you're just a damn drone sucking our dick. enjoy being a 3rd world country forever, you fucking chink. i'd rather puke on my shit rather than talking with a chink like you. japan and korea are 1st world countries because they are part of us, they agree that we are powerful. you are god damn shitty chink that will fail at everything, you are no more than my asslicker, chinks are the fucking niggers of the world. china will fall before 2015, i will kill a million chinks just to save my country, i will hope that there will be ww3 just to kill you fucking damn chinks and paint my wall red with your fucking blood, you dog-eater shit damn chink. i'll fucking nuke if i ever see your goddamn face. you shit eater

I had a strange dream the other day. I was riding the bus when all of a sudden this huge black snake head with retarded-looking eyes pops through the window and screams loudly "HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?" The bus had just stopped beside the library, and I ran inside as quickly as possible; the snake head was now chasing me around as I frantically searched for the legendary book among the shelves. I spotted the distinctive blue cover and ran toward it, the huge head inches from my ass. With great force I pulled the book from the shelf and instinctively directed it at the black head which by now was dripping with saliva at the mouth. It disappeared as it made contact with the book, disintegrating into a flurry of glowing parentheses.

I just sat there dazed for a few seconds, watching the feathery parehtneses slowly become smaller and fade away into nothingness. Slowly, I stood up, still clutching the purple book. I wondered about what I should do with it, then decided to put it back on the shelf. After doing so, I walked back out to the exit and boarded a bus, for where I did not know. The bus driver looked strangely familiar as I dropped the coins into the farebox;

"HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?" he suddenly yelled at me. Oh fuck, I thought to myself. Now I knew why he looked so familiar: He was The Sussman!

Unlike the various editions of Windows with a clear cut hierarchy, there is no clear cut "better" distro. Different distros have different philosophies and are aimed at somewhat different audiences, so there is only a distro that is best for you and not a best distro overall, and I can only make a guess at what that would be for you.

i cant even interact with her anymore! i mined the whole floor, she just walked over them without setting them off! i heared there were now people outside that wanted in. screw it, i positioned myself in the opening of the door, opened it and swiftly ran out. she followed, ran fast to the end of the corridor and disappeared around a corner. a whole bunch of angry adults, seemed like the whole ship, was path-bound to the now unlocked room and all ran into it like lemmings setting off the mines, dropping like leafs a cold winter night. wtf is wrong with the AI? the whole ship is dead, now i have to reload! god damn it Bethesda you have extremely detailed and well-made child rape scenes but you won't let me kill even a single one of them?? FUCK THIS GAME!

"Please... please let me go ze~"

The black-white pleaded to the rainbow magician; while battling the forceful urge within her, Marisa begged again. With tears in her eyes, her actions were simply ignored by an apathetic Alice; sitting not even five feet away and reading a book, peering out the corner of her eye at the witch's struggle. Her many dolls completely restricting Marisa's movement in her time of desperation.

"You must..." the witch whined, "please, release your dolls! I can't take it much more..."

Alice remained idle and flipped a page in her book. The pressure within the Marisa grew greater with every passing second, a force that she could never prevent merely with knowledge and wit.

"I... beg of you... please..." a mixture of tears and sweat streamed from the witch's face and made its way to the magician's wooden floor.

"I... I..." with her last shred of willpower, Marisa fell to the floor. With her face down, in a shameless admit of defeat, a puddle formed from under her; the liquid passing through the thin fabric and drenched her dress within mere seconds. A smirk appeared on Alice's face as the liquid expanded on her floor and made it's way up Marisa's body; the magician placed her book down and walked passed the witch, stepping in the shallow puddle of Marisa's urine.

"I hate you... you damn bitch." With her head still facing the floor, tears multiplied in the witch's eyes and diffused with liquid she exerted moments ago. Whelps and sobs came from Marisa's mouth along with mumbles of "damn Alice..." and "I'll never forgive you."

The magician walked back into the room and tapped the witch on the shoulder; looking up, she saw Alice's hand reaching out. Knowing she couldn't continue to wallow in her piss, she picked herself up and hung her head as Alice lead her to another room.

In my home country, this is Nara of Japan, american student

1. steal stuff everything

2. lying to policeman

3. spit to face when talking, mouth smell bad

4. don't have money, many american student, hole in cloths and dirty pants, old shoes

5. raping? jap girl because jap girl say american boy no thanks, very ugly and fat

6. very smell of food eating by american

7. very smell of body, no bath long time, sometime 10 days?

american=monkey same

F U WERE FLAMED FOR USING LISP TOMORROW, I WOULDNT GO 2 UR SUICIDE CUZ ID B N DAT CUNTS HOUSE N SHOVE SICP DOWN HIS THROAT!
//`'''```,
o // LISP `.,
,....OOo. .c;.',,,.'``.,,.`
.' ____.,'.//
/ _____ \___/.'
| / || \\---\|
|| || \\ ||
co co co co
WE TRUE SMUG LISP WEENIES
WE READ SICP TOGETHER
WE COUNT PARENTHESES TOGETHER
send this SUAVE SPACE TOAD to every thread you care about including this one if you care. C how many times you get this, if you get 6001 your A TRUE SMUG LISP WEENIE

I once caught my physics teacher, quite a hot MILF actually, saying some really harsh stuff to another teacher about one kid that sucked at her subject. (Didn`t do his homework, general misbehaving, etc.) I mean REALLY harsh stuff. She and that other teach must`ve been huge friends, because she was openly telling her all that shit, but when she found out, she totally flipped.

I hinted very subtly after one of her lessons that I had overheard her little rant and she got so nervous. I mean, I didn`t even care about that kid she slammed, but she was so sure I was going to tell on her.

We were alone in the classroom (I had waited until everyone left so I could tell her that I knew about the incident.) so she quickly ran for the door and locked it from the inside. Then she grabbed me by the shoulders and asked in a panicky whisper whether I was going to tell on her. "No, of course not!" I said, but she just blurted out the good old "I will do anything, just please don`t tell!”

Oddly, I didn`t even think of sex, but she grabbed me even more tightly, and kissed me. I was totally taken aback, but she was already unzipping my jeans. She didn`t blow me, a quick hand job and a 10-minute doggy-style (thank god I wasn`t a virgin back then) with her bent over the desk. She actually moaned a bit, but I think she was more concerned with getting her name cleared. (Oh, the irony.)

Needless to say, I came all over her naked back.

I think she realized quite quickly that I was never going to tell on her in the first place, because she was a bit cloudy during the following days, but I still got along with her fine until I graduated.

Catch the girl with a net spread up in the forest canopy. Take her alive. Take her home. Poke out her eyes and put her in a small cage. Force-feed her oats and millet and figs until she has swollen to four times her normal size. Drown her in brandy. Roast her whole, in an oven at high heat, for six to eight minutes. Bring her to the table. Place a cloth—a napkin will do—over my head to hide my cruelty from the sight of God. Put the whole girl into my mouth, with only the beak protruding from my lips. Bite. Put the beak on my plate and begin chewing, gently. I will taste three things: First, the sweetness of the flesh and fat. This is God. Then, the bitterness of the guts will begin to overwhelm me. This is the suffering of Jesus. Finally, as my teeth break the small, delicate bones and they begin to lacerate my gums, I will taste the salt of my own blood, mingling with the richness of the fat and the bitterness of the organs. This is the Holy Spirit, the mystery of the Trinity—three united as one. It is cruel. And beautiful

So I took my seat (#1) and waited as everyone else got called up. In my seat there had been a paper with questions like (in no particular order); Have you served on a Jury before?; Are you employed?; Do you have a spouse or partner?; Is there any reason why you can't serve as a(some word that I forgot) Juror? So while everyone took their seats I thought over the answers that I'd give and decided that I'd just answer truthfully since I didn't want to get in trouble. The judge asks me all the questions, the last one being about employment. Then he adds an extra question "Ah, if you're not employed, what are you doing, son?" think... what could I say? I was definitely not gonna say that I'm a NEET so I lied and said I'd be going to college soon, and then he says "Oh really? What are you gonna be majoring in?" I must have sounded extremely pathetic when I said "uhh...I don't know yet" the judge must have noticed, because he looked me right in the eyes and went "Ah yeah." he had to have seen through me, and everyone else along with him ;_;.

Wow. Just wow.

One of my friends came over an hour ago and brought his new girlfriend with him.

She was decent looking (not fat or pasty or pimply or wearing a KAWAIILOL shirt) so I greeted her nicely and we all just hung out for a while, talking about this and that.

About thirty minutes after they arrived my two cats wandered into the living room and the girlfriend lets out this scary as hell shriek. At first I thought she was horribly allergic or something, but then she grabbed my friends arm and started babbling about how cute they were and that they'd make SUCH A PERFECT COUPLE IF THEY WERE CATPEOPLE IN HER MANGA and which one she'd make "uke" and "seme" (one is a big gray monster of a cat and the other is a sleek little brown spotty tabby). Well, she said more in a less intelligible way, but that's about what I got from her spiel.

She stopped babbling after a couple minutes and just looked at me, giggling. I stared back for a second and before I could stop myself I said "Get the fuck out." I didn't yell it or anything, but I sounded pretty cold.

The incident ended with her crying and my friend calling me an ass and storming out of my apartment, dragging her along behind him.

Should I be feeling bad right now?

"Please... please let me go ze~"

The black-white pleaded to the rainbow magician; while battling the forceful urge within her, Marisa begged again. With tears in her eyes, her actions were simply ignored by an apathetic Alice; sitting not even five feet away and reading a book, peering out the corner of her eye at the witch's struggle. Her many dolls completely restricting Marisa's movement in her time of desperation.

"You must..." the witch whined, "please, release your dolls! I can't take it much more..."

Alice remained idle and flipped a page in her book. The pressure within the Marisa grew greater with every passing second, a force that she could never prevent merely with knowledge and wit.

"I... beg of you... please..." a mixture of tears and sweat streamed from the witch's face and made its way to the magician's wooden floor.

"I... I..." with her last shred of willpower, Marisa fell to the floor. With her face down, in a shameless admit of defeat, a puddle formed from under her; the liquid passing through the thin fabric and drenched her dress within mere seconds. A smirk appeared on Alice's face as the liquid expanded on her floor and made it's way up Marisa's body; the magician placed her book down and walked passed the witch, stepping in the shallow puddle of Marisa's urine.

"I hate you... you damn bitch." With her head still facing the floor, tears multiplied in the witch's eyes and diffused with liquid she exerted moments ago. Whelps and sobs came from Marisa's mouth along with mumbles of "damn Alice..." and "I'll never forgive you."

The magician walked back into the room and tapped the witch on the shoulder; looking up, she saw Alice's hand reaching out. Knowing she couldn't continue to wallow in her piss, she picked herself up and hung her head as Alice lead her to another room.

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! *holds up croma lisp* my name is patrick collison but u can call me t3h LiSpNiK oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol...as u can see im very lisp!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet lispers like me ^_^... im 19 years old (im very lisp 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch sussman & abelson w/ my boyfreind (im web 2.0 if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favourite tv show!!! bcuz its so lisp!!!!! hes lisp 2 of course but i want 2 meet more lisp ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol...neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!! DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dark/black pantyhose/stockings compliment you legs and make them look thinner. If you can find a pair of heels as well and combine the two they will really help make your legs look more feminine. It's a common trick that most women use. Covering your legs with pantyhose/stockings also remove most/all problems regarding skin and shaving.

Human Choir: We are in control.

Megaman: Send your armies.
There's no man or machine
who can stop me,
and you'll soon see.
I come for vengeance
for the first Son of Light, and I'm ready, and I'm willing, and I'm prepared to...

Send me the best you've got. Send me your strongest machines.
The fight my brother fought, here, now, will end with me.

All you wounded, those of you who can, pick yourselves off the ground,
Hurry back, tell your leader you'll need more men.

Send me the best you've got. Send me your strongest machines.
The fight my brother fought, here, now, will end with me.
Is this the best you've got? Is this your strongest machine?
Now with one powershot, you'll see what vengeance means.

The shadow, it covers your face but your eyes shine just like mine.
Step forward, step into the light if you're ready, and you're willing, and you're prepared to fight.

So be it, send your armies. There's no man or machine who can stop me, and you'll soon see.
I come for vengeance for the first Son of Light and I'm ready, and I'm willing, and I'm prepared to fight.

Send me the best you've got. Send me your strongest machines.
The fight my brother fought, here, now, will end with me.
Is this the best you've got? Is this your strongest machine?
Now with one powershot, you'll see what vengeance means.

Japan...I don't get why she gets all the hate on /jp/. World War II is just written to make her out as the bad guy, when really she's no worse than any of the 'protagonists' and a better country than most of them.

What are the main complaints? She raped China and stole Southeast Asia to use in the war?

Okay, let's get this straight. She never fucking raped China. She never did it. She never did it. She never did it. She never did it. She fucked China.

Let me ask you this. WHO IN THE WORLD DIDN'T FUCK CHINA? You can't even name one fucking nation who hasn't flooded her loose ports! She is the kind of bitch who will act like she doesn't want it when she really does. She'll say No! while signing multiple treaties. Japan knew this, she's a fucking ladies man. She knows what filthy whores like China want.

And there's this other big bitch you guys have with her. She supposedly stole Southeast Asia and used her in the war for her own greed.

Objection! She was worried about her one and only precious Brother-Asians. Is keeping your loved ones from a brutal imperialism so wrong? When America does the same thing to the Phillipines it's like 'oh she's so manly', but when Japan does it it's wrong? She just wanted to protect Asia. She probably was going to use her superpower status to tighten her ports back up or cure her malaria or something.

The history was written to make that faggot America look good. Objectively, Japan is a far better country than America. At least she has the balls to take action decisively instead of dicking around like America, and if she wasn't stuck with the weak ass colony Corea and no plothax she probably would have won the war.

You are quickly reaching the edge:
"K...Koakuma, I'm...cumming...ohh..."
"Please...cum...cum a lot..SLURP-SLURP...ummm...." she strokes your dick with her hand and taps the tip with her tongue.
I feel a burning sensation inside me. The heat gathers at my crotch. Every time she moves her tongue, a hot pleasurable sensation seethes up.
"Ummm...ummm...CHAP-CHAP...cum, please cum now...MUMPH-MUMPH..."
She passionately pants and strokes you harder.
"...I can't hold on any longer!!"you say and after a moment later "I'm cumming!!"
Your groin tenses up and your concentrated extract rushes through your gun barrel and shoots out into Koakuma's mouth.

SPLAT-SPLAT-SPLAT!!
"Ahhh...umm...your milk...your thick milk is filling me up...GULP-GULP..."

She made quite sure my body lacked any kind of hair, excluding the stuff on my head. Some nights, when I got to wear what I wanted, she would come in as I was asleep, remove what I had on, and diaper me up, occasionally bottlefeeding me yet again. For a while, she took pills to make her breasts produce milk and breastfed me, although she stopped after they made her sick. She would take naked pictures of me, mostly of my ass as I lay down, and sometimes with a full diaper, or after tickling me to make it seem like I loved her or something.

When she spanked me, she often did it with my diaper on. When she held me in her arms, she often played with my ass. She frequently took my temperature the old fashioned way. I guess it turned her on.

Sometimes, she fondled me when she changed me.

She made me take baths with her as my arms were bound. In later years, when I was bigger then her, she would often bind and drug me, although I was still very small for my age and she was very fit, and she could still occasionally overpower me outright.

I'm probably missing some stuff.

All this continued untill I was 18 and went to college. My dad was pretty oblivious to the whole thing, and most likely still doesn't know, if they are still alive. I don't know where they are. I don't care.

What a fucking bitch.

The cock that cleaves evil
The dick that destroys the denizens of darkness!
The penis that purges all injustice
The member that mangles malevolence!
The schlong that scorges the wicked!
The phallus that fight foul fiendish forces
The shaft that shines through the shadows of villainy
The wang that wrestles against waves of wickedness.
The organ that obliterates offenders!
The genitals that judge jealous jurisdiction.
The rod that resists referees of ruthlessness.
The prick that provokes apostles of predation.
The wang that wacks the wicked
The tool that teaches the terrible with testes.
The boner of evil's bane.

I recently came upon 4chan when a friend recommended I visit the sites for a few laughs. I figured "What the hell? I could use some laughs." I must say that when I came on I was disgusted and not amused at all. Why you ask? Because everything on this entire site is literally shit! I mean yes there is funny pictures posted every now and then. But honestly; Do any of you little shits have a life? I mean are you so immature and unintelligant that you find things like cartoon porn and random naked UNDERAGE children funny?

GROW UP! Grow up 4chan. You all seriously need a reality check, You could be doing so many things in the day, yet you all choose to sit around on your fucking fat ugly asses and post pictures and then make sarcastic or idiotic comments like "tits or gtfo" "o rly?" and "Manchester united!".

Get off your fat asses and do something better with your life. I mean all of you obviously have no life or a social life either for that matter. Why? Because your so immature and your the very reason why Mother's go through Depression during pregnancy; and the supposed "girls" that come on here and converse with you are just as much losers are you, they are either fatter then fatty-tan or a term you'd better understand as "A trap".

Well I've put in my two cents, and on a last note, I hope you all one day realize just how much of a loser you are, and honestly kill yourself. I could care less if every single one of you got testicular cancer including the girls and then died naked fat and ugly with a pile of shit and pee oozing from your bowels that excavated due to your death. Grow up Assholes!

I hate every touhou you like, that's how I roll,
I post Korea everywhere, that's how I troll.
Another 3D thread, that's why I sage,
Some fag's shitty /b/ thread, that's why I rage.

"Japan haet gaijin", that's how I post,
I know fucking Japanese, that's why I boast,
Someone posted futa, that's why I hurl,
I browse /jp/ everyday, that's why I can't get a girl.

I'm gonna shitstorm your thread, until you go and cry
AHHH CMON FUCK A GUY
You asked for kanji advice, and I told you to go die
AHHH CMON FUCK A GUY
A hundred posts in your thread, and not a single good reply
AHHH CMON FUCK A GUY
But I'm back on /jp/ again, and I still have no idea why
AHHH CMON FUCK A GUY

Its lunch, I went to my favourite sandwich shop, got a delicious veal sandwich and was on my way back home. There was this thuggish "Nigga" style black dude, he was behind me, I stopped, because he was walking quite fast, and I didn't want to be in his way.
He comes up to me, and asked, “Do you have any money?”, I knew where he was going with this, so I said, “Yeah, but you’re not getting any of it.”, and I walked away. I suppose it’s in his blood, he was going to punch the back of my head but I quickly grabbed and threw him over my shoulder, he fell down and became unconscious. I checked if he had any drugs/money, found cocaine in his jacket and called the cops.
I guess it wasn’t really a fight since it lasted less than 10 seconds, it really shows how effective Aikido is in real life situations.
It feels good to help the police catch drug dealers/druggies.

3 blocks from the Circle K and I was on my own street. I started walking down and toward my house, I realized that at some point I lost my long sleeve shirt and laughed. For the first time in this terrible day I laughed. When I got home my dad was pulling up into the driveway. I was anxious to get back inside the comfort of my own home, but I don't have a key. Yeah. At least my dad is here, but then I see him driving off. I was about to break into tears again, if not comforted by the fact that I was at least home. He took seemingly forever to get back (it only turned out to be 30 minutes) he said he'd forgotten his jacket at the sports back and talked to some of his buddies some more while he was there... Anyway, by the time I was back inside my house it was almost 9 pm.
My dad asked my how my day went.. I was about to scream, but I just said "It was really bad, and I have to go back for the rest of the week." Oh, did you just get back home? "Yeah, I was hanging out with Bikers and gangsters, dad." Hahaha, sounds like you had fun, huh? "Yeah, lots."

The rest of the week of my jury duty went by fine, without problems. I was even invited (and went) out to eat with one of my fellow jurors. Only thing that was awkward for me was the deliberations, since the neckbeard gay old dude kept putting me in the spotlight with question like.. "so what do you think, anonymous?"
About the trial, we found the dude guilt on both charges, 1. Driving under the influence, 2. Driving with harmful intent.

And so this was anonymous of /jp/'s day out.

Imagine that you are alone in the universe. And imagi∵e tha∵ ∴∵∴∵∵e∴∵∴ a∴∵∴e∵∴∵∴∵w∴∵∴ ∴∵∴∵∴∵∴ ∵∵∴∵∴∵∴∵ ∴∵∴∵∴∵ ∴∵∵∴∵∴∵∴∵ ∴∵∴∵∴∵∴ ∵∵∴ ∵∴∵∴∵ ∴∵ ∴∵∴∵∴∵∵∴∵ ∴∵∴∵ ∴∵. T∴∵s is what ta∵asinn ∵s like.

Picture this:

You're looking through a magnifiying viewfinder. Perhaps that of a camera, or a binoculars, or one of those telescopes you see on observation decks. Your vision is shunted straight ahead, into a narrow cone five to fifteen degrees, at maximum. Peripheal vision is nonexistant. The rest of the world exists around you, but because of the focus, you can't see anything outside it, only the part in in front of you. You can turn in any direction, and you can view things it would normally be impossible for you to view, in detail you never would be able to see otherwise, but you're still looking through what is essentially tube vision, and as soon as your eyes try to reach the edge of the tube, you run into a barrier of non-information.

Now invert part of that image, as you would an image channel in Photoshop. All around you, you can see the entire world, but blurrily, out of focus, and the only thing you view clearly is straight ahead of you. It is as if your visual tube has been reversed, and instead of seeing through the tube, you see the tube itself. What is that tube made of? A boundary of emptiness, around which you can see the lack of any visual information at all in vivid detail.

That tube is what tanasinn is like.

"Now perish!" The Sussman shouted, conjuring a huge pair of parentheses from his wand, which surrounded the group and enveloped them in a closure.

"What do we do now?!?!" Koakuma screamed at Patchouli.
"I don't know!" she shouted angrily in reply as the both of them hammered as hard as they could against the invisible, unyielding walls of the closure.

"I hope you learned your lesson, freaks!" The Sussman exclaimed, as the closure rose up towards the ceiling with the two trapped inside, exploding into a shower of white parentheses as it hit the top. The Sussman returned the wand to his pocket and continued lecturing.

...

"Where... are we?" Koakuma whispered as she opened her eyes to find Patchouli lying next to her.

We were talking about this with a friend earlier: WHY ARE HUMAN GIRLS SO ANGRY AT YOUKAI?

and we came up with this answer: they're jealous!

Let's see why:

* 1) They have awesome resistance to physical damage
* 2) They are more fit, they can outfly any human female anytime
* 3) They got waaaay stronger danmaku
* 4) They know how to treat a man better
* 5) They can take care of themselves. humans have forgot how to live without a society
* 6) They got specialities. They can gap, read minds, create universes, nuke things, you name it!
* 7) A youkai male wouldn't date a human girl. On the other hand, human men would drop their human girlfriend anytime for a youkai girl if given the chance
* 8) They're simply cooler. Admit it, maybe it wasn't the case some 2000 years ago, but nowadays being with a human gf sucks whereas being with a youkai gf is cool as hell
* 9) They got a sense of what family is about
* 10) They are amaaazing in bed

I could be going on and on and on but you get the point by now

We know we are not going back :)

Picture your consciousness as a galaxy of stars, revolving around a supermassive black hole, the gravity of which anchors it in reality.

Now, imagine that supermassive black hole swelling enormously in size, growing and expanding until it devours all the stars in the entire galaxy.

This is what tanasinn is like.

Okay listen you fuckwit, I'm tired of seeing your shitpost all the time.
FIrst off, you fucking twerp, it's konnichiwa, not Gomenasai.
KO NI CHI FUCKING WA. Gomenasai means sorry.
Second, you're a fucking retard for thinking japanese games are superior in any kind. They're as good and bas as american ones. I also bet your drawings look like shit.
Now, you fucking faggot, let me teach you something about swords.
The best thing your glorious Katana can cut through is a bamboo straw, and NOT FUCKING STEEL. LEARN THAT FOR FUCKS SAKE.And it's folded about 10 times, for a total 800 kayers at fucking most. Nobody's gonna sit 5 years in his room and polish a rod, exept you maybe because you can't get any pussy.
Now, you're telling me that you know stuff about japanese history. HA HA FUCKING HA FAGGOT. You couldn'T even get a proper Kana if your life depended on it, not like it's worth anything. No fucking one wears a goddamn Kimono in the streets, you retarded fuckwit.
Go on, move to Japan, get laughed at by fucking everyone, I might just fly with you to have a seat in the front row when your spirit is shattered to a thousand bits. No one is gonna like an acne-ridden wannabe-japanese who doesn't know shit about the culture he so disgustingly admires.

Now, kindly fuck off and die, you scum of the earth.

In AD 2008... bird was beggining
Anonymous-What happen?
Anonymous2-somebody set up us the bird
Anonymous3-we get spaghetti
Anonymous-what?
Anonymous3-main oven turn on
Anonymous-its penne
BIRDS-how are you Anonymous?
BIRDS-all your pasta are belong to us
BIRDS-you are on the way to coction
Anonymous-what you say!?
BIRDS-you have no chance to survive make your trenne
BIRDS-HA HA HA!

Ryou...I don't get why she gets all the hate on /jp/. Clannad is just written to make her out as the slut, when really she's no worse than any of the 'protagonists' and a better person than most of them.

What are the main complaints? She raped Kappei and used Kyou to get close to Tomoya?

Okay, let's get this straight. She never fucking raped Kappei. She never did it. She never did it. She never did it. She never did it. She fucked Kappei.

Let me ask you this. WHO IN THE GAME DIDN'T WANT TO FUCK KAPPEI? You can't even name one fucking character who didn’t want to plug his loose ass! He is the kind of bitch who will act like he doesn't want it when he really does. He'll say No! while having multiple orgasms. Ryou knew this, she's a fucking man’s lady. She knows what filthy man-whores like Kappei want.

And there's this other big bitch you guys have with her. She supposedly used Kyou to get closer to Tomoya.

Objection! She was worried about her one and only precious sister. Is keeping your loved ones from heartache so wrong? When Sunohara does the same thing to Mei it's like 'oh he's so manly', but when Ryou does it it's wrong? She just wanted to protect Kyou. She probably was going to study medicine to tighten Kappei’s ass back up or cure his syphilis or something.

The story was written to make that faggot Sunohara look good. Objectively, Ryou is a far better character than Sunohara. At least she has the balls to take action decisively instead of dicking around like Sunohara, and if she weren't stuck with that weak ass personality and no plothax she probably could have fucked the entire cast.

I fucking hate this honky whore. Every time I see her face I want to punch it. If I were to see this bitch IRL I'd rape her ass with 3 dicks before slitting her throat.

After a long walk between the bookcases, she stops. And she starts searching for that book.
"May I help you?" you say already seeing the book, and that Koakuma searches at the wrong place. You get the book down from the bookcase.
"Oh, you've found it!" she says smiling. But why is she blushing so heavily? She steps closer to you. She hugs you, you try to push her away, because your first thoughts was Sakuya and her silver knives...
But, her pretty hands won't let go of you.
"Oh? What's wrong?" you ask her surprised.
"...you smell good." She stares you with dreamy eyes. "Awww...your scent makes me dizzy..."
"Whaaaat!?"
"Umm...milk...I want milk..."
"Are you alright, Koakuma?" Koakuma looks at you vacantly and puts her hands on your pants.
What the...wait a minute!!"

ZIIIIIIP...

she pushed her back upwards from the pain. i felt the tears running through her hair and onto my hand, but that was okay. i worked her fast, adding another finger, then another... i stopped, allowing her to catch her breath a little. she tried throwing her head back and forth but my hand stopped her from moving much. there was blood between her legs and she was shaking all over. then i remembered i hadn't checked if there was any interactivity with her ass, and indeed there was. unfortunately i had sold the dildos i had found earlier in the game but luckily they hade made it so that you could use pretty much anything in there. i used a motorcycle handle on her ass, her eyes went back, almost looked like she had only white as eyes lol. placed a pilot light in her cunt, and believe it or not but there was an option to hit her clit so hard that the pilot lite would break! i didn't do that though, i did play a little with her almost-hidden clit though using some scrap metal. the sound effects were amazing, the kid they got to do her voice did a heck of a job, the muffled screams of "STOP STOP! PLEASE!" - very realistic. well enough play, i flipped her over on her stomach, she placed her head in her armes and continued to sob into them. i gave her a hard smack on the ass and told her to get up on all fours. she didnt do it so i gave her another one a little harder. she made an effort to get up so i smacked her again. she struggled to get on all four while i continued to beat the shit out of her ass over and over again. had to use two stimpaks on her unless i wanted her to die. eventually she made it to a doggy position, god it was a beautiful scene wish I had taken a screenshot. she was glowing red on her butt and also in her face. she was very warm i could tell.

VIPPER waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were JEWS in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Anonymous were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
VIPPER was VIP QUALITY for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the VIPPERS and he said to dad "I wanna be a VIPSTAR daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY JEWS"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the internet he knew there were JEWS.
"This is VIPPER" the radio crackered. "You must fight the JEWS!"
So VIPPER gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.
"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the JEWS
"I will shoot at him" said the CYBERJEW and he fired the rocket missiles. VIPPER plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must kill the JEWS" he shouted
The radio said "No, VIPPER. You are the JEWS"
And then VIPPER was a JEW.

The short, bearded figure stood on the stage, gesturing furiously as he declaimed on the evils of the RIAA and occasionally pacing around a bit.

"Richard, you've changed," murmured the balding, nondescript-looking man in the audience to himself.

After the talk, the bearded man strolled up the stairs, unconcerned by the train of scruffy-looking undergraduates following after. He was headed for the cookie table. As he began to shovel handfuls of madeleines and pecan brownies into his mouth, the bald, mustachioed man approached.

"Eric," the bearded man gasped, nearly dropping a handful of shortbread cookies (but not quite.)

"Richard," the bald man said firmly.

"What brings you here?" asked the bearded man. The undergraduates merely stared wide-eyed, knowing something special was happening, but not knowing quite what. At least, the ones who weren't also going for the cookie table.

"Well, Richard, you'll remember how we knew each other, seven years before you started the GNU project," said Eric.

"Yes..." Richard began to say, when he was interrupted by a particularly young-looking undergraduate.

"In the biblical sense?" taunted the undergraduate, as she adjusted her baseball cap and pulled on her red hair.

There was silence.

"Yes, young ladies and gentlemen, in the biblical sense," said Eric.

"I think we need to go upstairs, to my office," said Richard.

Do you want to be wise? Learn Aikido
Arguably the most powerful martial arts in Japan.

An Aikido practitioner is practically invincible, no one of any martial arts background can ever land a punch or kick on one.

Using the power of the attacker, the Aikido practitioner uses absolutely no energy to knock them down.

A fearsome martial arts it is

An objective notebook comparison as of 4th July 2009

----------------------------------------------------

The PC: Thinkpad T400

For $1,144.00 on Lenovo.com you get:

14.1" WXGA+ (that's 1440x900) backlit TFT
C2D @ 2.40GHz
4GB PC3-8500 DDR3
ATI 3470 256MB
250GB 5400RPM SATA
Vista Home Premium
Nine cell battery

----------------------------------------------------

The Mac: Macbook Pro

For $1,499.00 on Apple.com you get:

13" WXGA (that's 1280x800) backlit TFT
C2D @ 2.53GHz
4GB PC3-8500 DDR3
NVIDIA 9400M 256MB
250GB 5400RPM SATA
OSX

----------------------------------------------------

The truth:

The Macbook Pro costs over $350 more but offers no
real-world advantages other than a -very- slightly
faster CPU. A significant disadvantage is that the
screen is actually smaller with a lower resolution.
With regards to OSX, a retail version could be
purchased with savings made, still leaving you with
money to spare.

The Thinkpad is a truly enterprise-class product
(this includes standards of service and support)
renowned for its amazing build quality/robustness
and having literally the best notebook keyboard
ever. If it's "status" you're after, I would like
to point out that they are used during NASA space
missions almost exclusively. (I believe this also
serves as a statement on overall reliability.)

I am not anti-Apple, but buying a Mac at this time
simply cannot be justified, especially for a
business user or student.

At this point I was afraid to cross the street since I could see bald-headed mexican gang members going in and out of the shops across the street. And this side wasn't really developed, I started walking north(in the picture, not sure if it was actually north) I passed a Subway and a Petshop (didn't go in since there were gangsters hanging out in the parking lot.. So I kept walking and I passed some closed off area, I think they were private apartments or something, you know those gated communities? Then there was a bridge that I had to cross, below the bridge was just desert. This experience was especially excruciating since there were so many cars passing by and the sidewalk was really thin, I felt Like I'd get run over at any moment. I considered going back and crossing the desert below instead. but decided against it.


So I crossed the street again and made my way to the gas station. A few cars there.. no gangsters in sight. There was a payphone here as well. I went inside and got change for some quarters, made my way to the phone and called home, nobody answers. I don't know my father's cellphone number. Tears welled up in my eyes. I tried home again, no one answered. After running out of quarters I went back in to get change (by the way the place is an AM/PM) , then I headed to the side of the AM/PM and I sat on my heels and started thinking about everything that's happened. I started crying. I was so damn frustrated that I just started crying silently so that hopefully no one would notice.

Dear /a/

I have high standards. I want my girlfriend to look like this. As a result, I have never had a girlfriend; not because I'm fat or ugly, but because almost all the asian girls I've ever seen are butt ugly.

But now, I go to school with a hot girl who looks almost exactly like her (cheerleader, pretty smart, half korean half chinese, skinny, tall, etc.) and after an entire semester of working up the courage to talk to her, I did, and here's what happened:

I helped her with a history project, talked to her on AIM a bit, then all of a sudden she started acting cold. I'd try to chit-chat and she'd be like, "does it matter?"; snippy and cutting any attempt at conversation short. I didn't talk to her for about a month, then tried again after another week or so of working up courage and got absolutely shot down in front of some of her friends. Worst experience ever.

Then, a few weeks later, she came up and started talking to me, all friendly-like. After about 2 minutes of small talk she got to the point - she wanted help on her homework. And then I realized. The only reason she fucking talked to me in the first place is because she knew I was smart and wanted help with her schoolwork, and when that purpose was over, she stopped.

Then, a few weeks later, she starts going out with another dorky fucking asian guy. I see them at the movie theater making out. It made me so sick I almost threw up. So my question /a/ is this:

What's the best way to commit suicide?

1. get the following items from your local Wal-mart.

A water baby (in the girls toy aisle where the lolis roam.) It is a regular looking baby doll with a hollow body that is supposed to be filled with warm water to make the doll all soft and jiggly like a real, no-boned baby.

3 jars of strawberry preserves. (It has to be preserves, jams and jellys don't work as well.

2. Fill the water baby with the strawberry preserves until it just about to bust and dress the baby with the clothes that came with it.

3. The next time someone rides your ass, throw the baby out of your window onto their windshield. The will see a jiggly baby go flying toward them and then explode into a pile of bright red and chunky gore.

4. The driver stops and is traumatized for life or gets in a wreck and dies. Either way, that bitch is off your ass.

So now there was about 30 people I would guess (It was still a lot, but nothing compared to the seemingly hundreds from before). We were told to wait and that we'd be called into the actual court room for further instructions. I made my way to a chair off near one of those EXITs where you're not allowed to open the door, you know the emergency only ones? I sat down and closed my eyes relaxing in my new found solitude.. until I heard a noise right next to me, it was that same guy from before dammit. I wanted to get out of there and find a new seat, but I didn't want to be mean either, I felt trapped as he began to chat me up. He started asking me all kinds of things like my age and he'd reply with his own answer as if the question was for both of us. This guy had these really skinny pants and a yellow/orange navy shirt and he was old. I made my mind up that this guy was gay and was hitting on me (old guys are always gay). I wasn't going to hesitate anymore I was about to get up and leave to another area until the the bailiff called out for everyone from 3B. He told us all to take a seat in the court room and pay close attention to the Judge. So in we went. I walked quickly and even cut in front of some people so that I wouldn't have to sit next to the old neckbeard.

are you fucking dumb? your damn nigger country cant even compete with us economically, 2 of your cities are one of the worst polluted cities IN THE WORLD. you make damn shitty quality products that puts every 3rd world country into shame if ever there would be a contest who would make the shittiest quality products. your shitty economy is nothing but 1/3 of our gdp, i could even throw a dollar in any chinese street without giving A SINGLE FUCK. suigin a total dumbass who's just destined to make our shits in some smelly factory in china while we live in luxury. most of your textbooks came from america because we're damn intelligent and genious. if you're iq is damn high, why can't your country even be a 1st world country? you dipshit are nothing but soulless chinks pretending to have a social life, but in reality, you're just a damn drone sucking our dick. enjoy being a 3rd world country forever, you fucking chink. i'd rather puke on my shit rather than talking with a chink like you. japan and korea are 1st world countries because they are part of us, they agree that we are powerful. you are god damn shitty chink that will fail at everything, you are no more than my asslicker, chinks are the fucking niggers of the world. china will fall before 2015, i will kill a million chinks just to save my country, i will hope that there will be ww3 just to kill you fucking damn chinks and paint my wall red with your fucking blood, you dog-eater shit damn chink. i'll fucking nuke if i ever see your goddamn face. you shit eater

This is something that I just posted on /a/. They told me to repost it here, and I thought it was worth a shot.

I live in Japan, and it fucking sucks. I made a thread about this a lonnnng time ago, but this bears repeating.

1. Anime and manga are more expensive in Japan. The prices are ridiculous, and it's hard for me to justify buying anime even though I feel it's important for fans to make an effort to support the industry.

2. If you are a girl, you will be groped and treated like shit. I have had men grab my ass in public *7* different times in the past year and a half. My Japanese friends say that women should just grit their teeth and bear it, since if you try to do something about it you will be publicly shamed. I also feel dirty and pathetic when these incidents occur.

3. Office culture in Japan is...intense. You are expected to show up at social gatherings even if you do not want to. And at these social gatherings people have the EXACT SAME CONVERSATIONS AGAIN AND AGAIN. I've had like 50 conversations on the power of beer to refresh you after a day's work. You have to say "good morning" every day in a very specific way, and if you don't then someone will approach you and tell you that's not how things are done at company XYZ.

4. The people treat gaijin like shit. Even the ones who try to be nice come across as condescending and rude by American standards. There are also a large number of Japanese men who think gaijin women are sluts and that they can get you to open your legs at the drop of a hat. Fuckers.

I wish all the Japanohiles could actually visit GLORIOUS NIPPON. They'd change their tune.

She made quite sure my body lacked any kind of hair, excluding the stuff on my head. Some nights, when I got to wear what I wanted, she would come in as I was asleep, remove what I had on, and diaper me up, occasionally bottlefeeding me yet again. For a while, she took pills to make her breasts produce milk and breastfed me, although she stopped after they made her sick. She would take naked pictures of me, mostly of my ass as I lay down, and sometimes with a full diaper, or after tickling me to make it seem like I loved her or something.

When she spanked me, she often did it with my diaper on. When she held me in her arms, she often played with my ass. She frequently took my temperature the old fashioned way. I guess it turned her on.

Sometimes, she fondled me when she changed me.

She made me take baths with her as my arms were bound. In later years, when I was bigger then her, she would often bind and drug me, although I was still very small for my age and she was very fit, and she could still occasionally overpower me outright.

I'm probably missing some stuff.

All this continued untill I was 18 and went to college. My dad was pretty oblivious to the whole thing, and most likely still doesn't know, if they are still alive. I don't know where they are. I don't care.

What a fucking bitch.

Suddenly, a huge black snake head with retarded-looking eyes materialized in front of them and stared menacingly. In a loud booming voice, it asked "HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?" and everything turned black.

When they woke up, they found themselves sitting in a lecture hall at MIT, amonst several dozen other students. "Welcome to 6.001" was written on the board. Professor Gerald Jay Sussman walked into the room, wearing his robe and wizard hat.

her arms were going all over the place as i pumped my silver flow into her person. there were so much quite much even came back out through her nose! her legs started twitching too, it was clear she was suffocating. i finally finished, looked up at the roof and relaxed a little. that was great. then i pulled out, she fell over on the side coughing and coughing. if i didnt know better i would say she cough up all the sperm but that would have been impossible. she had probably gotten a third of my load in her lungs, haha she looked so silly. but that coughing could become quite loud so i silenced her by placing my hand over her mouth. she continued to cough through her nose for a while. after a while when it looked like she had gotten most of her airway free i let her go. "you naughty little girl, you made me dirty again!". She looked terrified. "but.. but...". she started crying into her hands. "there there", I said. "now you must clean up the mess in here". "what do you mean?" she whispered with what little voice she could muster from her sore throat. i grabbed her face and shoved it into the blood-cum mixtured puddle on the bed. "this of course you little bitch! trying to sneak youself out of your work huh?". "n-no, i-i.." i repeated what she had just stuttered with disgust in my tone. "get to it missy!" She started licking the puddle up. Half-way through she threw up. "Oh now you've done it!" I thrashed her around, making sure she remembered to not scream while I did it. When I grew bored of it I made her eat what was left of the puddle, including what she had vomited up. And of couse she had to clean the floor too where we had made love.

I decided to take a stroll in the park today in my Aikido suit as I like to call it, the weather was great. I found myself a great spot for doing Aikido techniques, as I train, a beautiful woman came up to me and tapped my shoulder. I was so immersed in training that I mistaken her as a threat and grabbed her arm, tossing her to the ground. I quickly realized my mistake and apologized, she accepted the sincere apology of mine.

Afterwards she asked me what I was doing, I explained to her that I was practicing the ancient and mighty Japanese art of Aikido, she gave me her phone number, wanting to discuss more of Aikido.

An obvious excuse to meetup once again to have sex because I already told her everything about Aikido.

http://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/upgrade/4243994.html?page=3

>MythBusters: 7 Tech Headaches—and How to Fix Them Innovation is meant to make life easier. So why is this TV geek so annoyed? (Click here for more PM stories by the MythBusters, and watch brand-new episodes starting Jan. 16!)
>By Jamie Hyneman

>In the tech world this phenomenon is known as “software bloat” or “feature bloat.” It's a well-documented problem and a frequent complaint about Windows OSs—Vista in particular. In addition to being buggy, the extra features tend to bog down your system by demanding more processing power and memory. Computer-makers: Don't load up operating systems with features and then make us sweat to figure out how to get rid of the fat.

>Most features can be set up as options. Why not start with a computer loaded with basic stuff that works 100 percent of the time? Then, give us the option of adding the bells and whistles. There's another solution available to consumers: Switch to a Linux-based OS such as Ubuntu. Since most Linux OSs are free, there's no business reason to bloat up the system with feature frills.

Myth: Fags Got Told
Status: Confirmed

Omg hai ^___^ I absolutely luuuv @_____@ anime .> .

Imperishable Night sucks a fucking cock.
This game is shit, plain and simple.

Oh, let's all beat the fourth stage boss and go to "Eientei"! Too bad Eientei isn't fucking fun, like the rest of this game. The entire thing is designed to anger and frustrate you. Oh, you get to play as a team! Wow, pardon me while I make the universal motion for a handjob. Playing as a team fucking sucked. What did it do, exactly? It let you SHOOT FAIRIES, something you were able to do the entire fucking game. Oh, also you looked gay.

There are some interesting shot types in the game, such as Marisa, Sakuya, and Youmu. But guess what? You can use them on like 2 levels total, and if you later on you unfocus and get hit ONCE, you never use them AGAIN since you are afraid of dying again. Wow, that's fun! I love games that demand I play perfectly or have no fun, because I'm a fucking jap who strives for absolute perfection in gaming otherwise I kill myself.

Imperishable Night may have been interesting or fun at one time, but the game is a worthless piece of shit in today's day and age. It's horribly flawed and full of punch-in-the-dick moments, much more so than it has moments that are just fun to play.

JESUS TITTYFUCKING CRACK SMOKING CHRIST ON A MOPED WHY WOULD YOU HAVE THIS SAVED?!

SERIOSULY WHAT KIND OF PERSON SEEKS OUT, DOWNLOADS, SAVES AND REPOSTS AN IMAGE, AN ANIMATED IMAGE, OF A DEER FUCKING A CRYING SCHOOLGIRL?!

LIKE I KNOW THERE ARE BIZZARE FETISHES AND WEIRD SHIT THAT TURNS PEOPLE ON, AND YOU KNOW I'M TOTALLY COOL WITH THAT, I JUST DON'T LOOK AT IT. BUT THIS.
FUCKING THIS.

THE FACT THAT SOMEBODY THOUGHT IT WOULD BE HILARIOUS TO SAVE THIS...THING, AND THEN THAT EVERYONE ELSE WANTED TO SEE IT JSUT BOGGLES MY MOTHERFUCKING MIND. WHAT TYPE OF A PERSONA RE YOU? SERIOUSLY. DO YOU KEEP THIS SHIT TO YOURSELF OR DO YOU ACT LIKE A CREEPY FUCK IN PUBLIC TOO?! DO YOU HAVE ANY FRIENDS AT ALL? I SURE AS FUCK HOPE NOT.

AND THE WORST PART OF ALL OF THIS IS THAT IN ABOUT 30 POSTS THIS WILL MORPH INTO A LUCKY STAR PORN THREAD WITH ALMOST A HUNDRED IMAGES OF SIMILAR SITUATIONS DEPICTING CHILDREN BEING HORRIBLY MOLESTED THAT NEARLY A HUNDRED PEOPLE ALL HAVE SAVED TO THEIR HARD DRIVES TO JACK OFF OVER AS THE HELPLESS LITTLE GIRL SQUIRMS IN PANIC ON THEIR SCREEN FOR THEIR OWN ENJOYMENT.

JUST WHAT THE FUCK. I KNOW THIS IS HOW THE INTERNET WORKS BUT
WHAT
THE
FUCK

TOO MUCH. WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN

CHARACTERS:

The worst part of Elfen Lied. The characters are garbage. They are so cliche and so overboard, they almost insult the intelligence of the viewer, as if we couldn't tell that Bando was short tempered and callous without either threatening the life or punching the faces of every single person he comes in contact with. All the characters are extremely unrealistic and act in ways no real person in today's society would ever act. Like a four year old girl who talks like a James Bond villain? Or elementary school boys who bully their classmates by smashing their puppies faces in with bottles? Teenagers who find naked women lying on beaches and takes them home to live with them without exchanging hardly any words? Besides all that, there weren't many cliches that weren't used in the daily dialogue from the characters. It was actually pretty painful.

126,000 YEARS MASTER DRAGON HIKKIKOMORI. HAVE NOT LEFT DUNGEON FOR FOOD IN CENTURIES EVER SINCE VALIANT KNIGHT CHAINED ME DOWN HERE. I AM SCARED OF LEAVING BECAUSE I MIGHT RUN INTO MORE KNIGHTS CAUSING SOCIAL ANXIETY. I WILL PROBABLY DIE A VIRGIN BECAUSE DRAGON-CHAN DOES NOT LIKE GROSS OTAKU-RYU LIKE ME. WHY MUST THE OPPOSITE SEX INSULT MY JAPANESE SPIRIT?

The short, bearded figure stood on the stage, gesturing furiously as he declaimed on the evils of the RIAA and occasionally pacing around a bit.

"Richard, you've changed," murmured the balding, nondescript-looking man in the audience to himself.

After the talk, the bearded man strolled up the stairs, unconcerned by the train of scruffy-looking undergraduates following after. He was headed for the cookie table. As he began to shovel handfuls of madeleines and pecan brownies into his mouth, the bald, mustachioed man approached.

"Eric," the bearded man gasped, nearly dropping a handful of shortbread cookies (but not quite.)

"Richard," the bald man said firmly.

"What brings you here?" asked the bearded man. The undergraduates merely stared wide-eyed, knowing something special was happening, but not knowing quite what. At least, the ones who weren't also going for the cookie table.

"Well, Richard, you'll remember how we knew each other, seven years before you started the GNU project," said Eric.

"Yes..." Richard began to say, when he was interrupted by a particularly young-looking undergraduate.

"In the biblical sense?" taunted the undergraduate, as she adjusted her baseball cap and pulled on her red hair.

There was silence.

"Yes, young ladies and gentlemen, in the biblical sense," said Eric.

"I think we need to go upstairs, to my office," said Richard.

Do you want to be wise? Learn Aikido
Arguably the most powerful martial arts in Japan.

An Aikido practitioner is practically invincible, no one of any martial arts background can ever land a punch or kick on one.

Using the power of the attacker, the Aikido practitioner uses absolutely no energy to knock them down.

A fearsome martial arts it is

Omg hai ^___^ I’m Azaka-chan and I absolutely luuuv @_____@ brothers .> .

Okay, I'm going to end every Elfen Lied thread ever.
First, its pronounced Elfen Leed, as in rhymes with "Reed".

Secondly, it has essentially no comprehensible storyline, ancient horned savants whose horns look like cat ears are awakened by a mad scientist, and intend to destroy the world.
Except the protagonist doesn't even try to stop them. So they basically do.

Before that, though, it tons of unnecesary gore, and poorly delivered fanservice. In fact, the fanservice is basically the only reason to read the manga. Don't ever, ever, ever watch the anime, as they took out or changed all the best fanservice scenes, and as I previously stated, this is the only reason to read the mango.
There is indeed a scene in which one of the love interests is on the protagonist's lap "Because it's cold and rainy outside," and whilst the protagonist settles into position, the girl slides down his leg and is stimulated. After this, she for some reason NEEDS to take off her wet panties just then, so she bids the protagonist to turn around, who of course turns back around only to see the girl fallen over accidentally, spread open. At that same moment, the other members of the harem arrive, wonders ensue, etc etc.

Rinse and repeat this harem fanservice cycle about 400 times with a shitty contrived 2-D storyline and needless gore. If this sounds awesome, then read the mango. If this sounds like a terrible waste of time, then skip on by.

Ubuntu Air: Uses the newer planes with a new paint job from Debian Air, which still experience a bit of turbulence. It's the busiest airport and is funded by a millionaire who used to work at Debian Air. You have a choice of an ditsy blond stewardess who just brings you what you ask for, or stewardesses just like Debian air had, but there are a lot more annoying teenagers on board.

Slackware Air: Gives you a nice, comfortable seat, but there's not a full time stewardess and she makes you get all of the parts yourself if you want to make changes. Doesn't utilize the turbo jets on newer airplanes, but it's fast enough that most passengers don't complain.

Arch Air: Gives you a pile of parts and a stewardess to help you sort through them. Also, has a thick manual for any questions you have. Any time you want, you can update your seat to use the newest parts.

Gentoo Air: You are given a given a block of metal, an even thicker manual, and a blowtorch.

Mint Air: Similar to Ubuntu Air but the aircraft is styled differently. Also halfway through the flight a group of terrorist hijacks the plane and screams "ALLAH ACKBAR!" and demands the flight be diverted to Palestine. A struggle ensues between an undercover air marshal and one of the hijackers who happens to have a bomb strapped to his body. The bomb goes off accidentally, tearing the jet in half and suddenly you find yourself tumbling through the air. You wake up suddenly from your nightmare, realizing you're safe and sound on an Ubuntu Air flight. The stewardess serves you green tea and mints, winking.

PC gaming:
Poor low res graphics
Horrible sound quality
Immature userbase
Rampant piracy and hackers
Viruses can be transferred through dedicated servers
Paid DLC and updates
Most games have a subscription fee
Terrible outdated controls
Very expensive
Not many games come out for it
Has to be upgraded regularly

Console gaming:
Beautiful HD graphics
Adobe 2.2 Stereo Sound
Mature levelheaded community
Regular firmware updates to prevent hackers and piracy
Top of the line firewalls to stop hackers
Free DLC and updates
No subscription fees
Incredibly accurate controls
Very affordable
Tons of games come out each year
No need to upgrade until the new consoles come out 5-6 years later

"Please... please let me go ze~"

The black-white pleaded to the rainbow magician; while battling the forceful urge within her, Marisa begged again. With tears in her eyes, her actions were simply ignored by an apathetic Alice; sitting not even five feet away and reading a book, peering out the corner of her eye at the witch's struggle. Her many dolls completely restricting Marisa's movement in her time of desperation.

"You must..." the witch whined, "please, release your dolls! I can't take it much more..."

Alice remained idle and flipped a page in her book. The pressure within the Marisa grew greater with every passing second, a force that she could never prevent merely with knowledge and wit.

"I... beg of you... please..." a mixture of tears and sweat streamed from the witch's face and made its way to the magician's wooden floor.

"I... I..." with her last shred of willpower, Marisa fell to the floor. With her face down, in a shameless admit of defeat, a puddle formed from under her; the liquid passing through the thin fabric and drenched her dress within mere seconds. A smirk appeared on Alice's face as the liquid expanded on her floor and made it's way up Marisa's body; the magician placed her book down and walked passed the witch, stepping in the shallow puddle of Marisa's urine.

"I hate you... you damn bitch." With her head still facing the floor, tears multiplied in the witch's eyes and diffused with liquid she exerted moments ago. Whelps and sobs came from Marisa's mouth along with mumbles of "damn Alice..." and "I'll never forgive you."

The magician walked back into the room and tapped the witch on the shoulder; looking up, she saw Alice's hand reaching out. Knowing she couldn't continue to wallow in her piss, she picked herself up and hung her head as Alice lead her to another room.

Seeing that nothing in the cubicle would respond to their attempts at moving or destroying it, they gave up and walked out into the hallway.

"This place sure is wierd," Patchouli commented sadly, "let's see what's in the other ones."

They visited several more cubicles, but the situation was the same; in each one was a man playing one of the Touhou series, and none of them could be disturbed by anything they did. After a while, it became apparent that almost every one of the cubicles was identical, and the hallway seemed to go on forever in either direction.

They continued to walk in silence, looking into the cubicles on either side for any sign of escape. One of them seemed to be empty except for a single purple book lying exactly in the middle, and aligned perfectly with the four walls.

"This one's different! But... what can we do?" Koakuma said as they entered it.

Dear /a/

I have high standards. I want my girlfriend to look like this. As a result, I have never had a girlfriend; not because I'm fat or ugly, but because almost all the asian girls I've ever seen are butt ugly.

But now, I go to school with a hot girl who looks almost exactly like her (cheerleader, pretty smart, half korean half chinese, skinny, tall, etc.) and after an entire semester of working up the courage to talk to her, I did, and here's what happened:

I helped her with a history project, talked to her on AIM a bit, then all of a sudden she started acting cold. I'd try to chit-chat and she'd be like, "does it matter?"; snippy and cutting any attempt at conversation short. I didn't talk to her for about a month, then tried again after another week or so of working up courage and got absolutely shot down in front of some of her friends. Worst experience ever.

Then, a few weeks later, she came up and started talking to me, all friendly-like. After about 2 minutes of small talk she got to the point - she wanted help on her homework. And then I realized. The only reason she fucking talked to me in the first place is because she knew I was smart and wanted help with her schoolwork, and when that purpose was over, she stopped.

Then, a few weeks later, she starts going out with another dorky fucking asian guy. I see them at the movie theater making out. It made me so sick I almost threw up. So my question /a/ is this:

What's the best way to commit suicide?

He was...he was going to have sex with her. Mugi knew it was going to happen, and she only began to sob harder as the man took his shirt off. "I'll make you feel...incredible." he said, removing his finger from her vaginal orfice.

She shut her eyes tightly, hoping to god this was a nightmare...her eyes snapped open as his finger began poking at her anus. "Nooo!" she shouted, flailing as best she could. She tried to push him off, desperately, her burns absolutely screaming with pain.

"Shh...shhh..." he cooed, before another figure entered the room.

"Ah, Joey!" he exclaimed, grabbing the fresh, steaming cup of coffee from the boy's hands. He was missing his fingernails.

Taking a swig, he used his free hand to slowly probe Mugi's tight ass, getting it in to the knuckle. She was in utter agony.

"Oh...we'll need some lube, won't we..." Stan said, thinking for a minute. "I didn't have any prepa..." he trailed off, looking at his half empty cup of coffee. Mugi's eyebrows raised in absolute terror.

"It'll only sting for a moment..." he muttered, removing his finger from her anus. Placing it and another finger into the steaming coffee, he winced a little at the heat. "This'll let me slide into your fine ass just fine..."

I'M A KOREAN
SON OF A BITCH AMERICAN
AMERICAN IS PIG
DO YOU WANT A HAMBURGER?
DO YOU WANT A PIZZA?
AMERICAN IS PIG DISGUSTING
GEORGE WALKER BUSH IS A MURDERER
FUCKING U.S.A

Shirazumi Lio...I don't get why he gets all the hate on /jp/. Kara no Kyoukai is just written to make him out as the bad guy, when really he's no worse than any of the 'protagonists' and a better person than most of them.

What are the main complaints? He tried to fuck Mikiya and made it look like that Shiki was the murderer?

Okay, let's get this straight. He didnt fucked up Mikiya . He never did it. He never did it. He never did it. He never did it. Mikiya fucked himself.

Let me ask you this. WHO IN THE NOVEL DIDN'T WANT TO FUCK MIKIYA? You can't even name one fucking character who didn’t want to plug his loose ass! He is the kind of bitch who will act like he doesn't want it when he really does. He'll say No! while having multiple orgasms. Lio knew this, he's a fucking manly man. He knows what filthy man-whores like Mikiya want.

And there's this other big bitch you guys have with him. He supposedly made it look like that Shiki was the murderer.

Objection! He was worried about his one and only precious kohai. Is keeping your loved ones from massacre so wrong? When Mikiya does the same thing to Shiki it's like 'oh he's so manly', but when Lio does it it's wrong? He just wanted to protect Shiki. He probably was going to use Shiki’s connection to Akasha to tighten Mikiya’s ass back up or cure his syphilis or something.

The story was written to make that faggot Mikiya look good. Objectively, Lio is a far better character than Mikiya. At least he has the balls to take action decisively instead of investigating around like Mikiya, and if he weren't stuck with that weak ass power of his and no Mystic Eyes of Death Perception plothax he probably could have won the fight.

Are you SUAVE?
Are you a SPACE TOAD?
Are you a SUAVE SPACE TOAD?

If you answered "Yes" to all of the above questions, then SICP (STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS) might be exactly what you've been looking for! Read SICP (STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS) today, and enjoy all the benefits of being a satorized SICP reader. SICP (STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS) is the fastest-growing SMUG LISP WEENIE community with THOUSANDS of members all over the Internet! You, too, can be a part of SICP if you join today! Why not? It's quick and easy - only 3 simple steps!
* First, you have to obtain a copy of SICP and read it. You can read it online using your favorite web browser.
* Second, you need to succeed in founding a Lisp-related meme in /prog/ on world4chan, a popular "programming for trolls" website.
* Third, you need to join the official SICP home /prog/ on world4chan, and apply for membership.
Talk to one of the satorized overlords or any of the other members in the board to sign up today! Upon submitting your application, you will be required to submit links to your successful meme, and you will be tested on your knowledge of STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS. If you are having trouble locating /prog/, the official STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS board, you might be on a wrong web sight. The correct address is >>>/prog/. Follow this link if you are using a http client such as telnet. If you have Sussman points and would like to support SICP, please don't sage this post.

For 23 years and 11 months had I suffered them, the ignorant gaijin back home who sickened me with their microwaved culture and their materialism. The spindly losers in the anime club who cared only for anime and not a whit for the superior monoethnic culture to which it was endemic. Well no more. Fucking zettai no more. I touched down in the country I was certain I had lived all my previous lives, no doubt as a badass ronin samurai ninja or some shit. I had never been here, but I had returned.

Nippon-sama, tadaima!

No sooner had I left the airport when I saw the woman of my dreams. She confirmed my every hope, my every ideal of this great land. The light coming in through the sakura backlit her like a full body halo. She was made of demure and soft spoken. Of bowing and bento.

Of Japan and perfect.

My heart started doki doki-ing all over the shop. And then she saw me! Spotted me in the crowd! Well, of course she did, I was like a head taller than the fucking hobbits they call men around here. I was in no state of mind to meet her gaze, and tried to look away but I was paralysed. She was just so ... prettyu ...

And just like that she started walking over. Her walk was just pure concentrated sex. If you poured a glass of it sex fumes would just rise right off the top. I loved the way the light danced unevenly over her pristine porcelain skin as she walked. The way she did more for me by showing just her shoulders than any American girls could by showing their entire gaping cleavage for all the world to SEE THIS YOU SHOULD TAKE NOTES, THIS IS WHAT SEXY IS YOU FUCKING WHORES -

I seriously see people "highly recommend" this movie.
You know who "those people" are?
The kind who say memes in real life.
The kinds who sit in starbucks on their ipads.
The kind who think they are edgy because they play "obscure game" or even the worse the kind who think they are retro because they play nes emulators (mario and megaman, although only mega man 2 because the others are much too difficult).
I seriously have lost friends because of this movie, people who I thought I knew well and acted like their fucking age (2 fucking 3) are now reduced to saying "Why u mad BRO" and "Derp" out-loud and complain that they wish they had such a "chic" girlfriend who would understand that video games can be art and deep" (I heard someone say this, I am not lying)Fucking disgusting wastes of existence. NEETs are better people by a longshot, because they know they are failures and keep to themselves and don't pretend like they want friends. Even worse are the hipsters that actually get a hipster girlfriend, both of them are so happy to find somebody that they don't hesitant to show it off anywhere.

Funny story attached to that, I live on the east coast USA and am in my last year at Uni. I met some girl who I found out came from west coast USA for some reason. Well on her facebook she is "in a realtionship" with some guy back there, and they post on each others wall how much they miss each other. One day I was meeting her to work on some Homework before a club meeting and I came at the perfect time because right when I got there a guy she was talking to kissed her, then when I said hey he jumped the fuck back and said ah, hey and walked away. She was on a macbook at the time, reading that comic. I just found it so hilariously stereotypical.

I have defeated countless opponents using Aikido, and they always ask me, Why are you so strong?

I answer, I'm not strong, you are.

Aikido uses the strength of the attacker back at them but 10 times stronger(estimate). Using Aikido and I can probably kill a charging Rhino using it's force right back at it, of course, I'm not going to try it, way to dangerous for any sane person.

I recommend practicing Aikido for every /jp/edo, as you are all physically weak, and Aikido is specialized for the weak to defend against the strong.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDnYNroUmNs

A 50 year old man with cerebral palsy doing Aikido, very touching.

Mugi awoke in a small room. This was not home. There were no keyboards. No Afternoon Tea Times. She was cold and alone. Terrified, she attempted to get to her feet, before realizing she was chained by her ankle to the wall, and she was in a strange set of clothes. A hand going to her head, she also realized that her hair had been cut short. Tears forming in her eyes, she felt a sickening fear in her stomach. The door suddenly opened, bringing with it an overwhelming stench of brewed coffee.

"...Is my darling Accelerator awake?" Stan Lee asked, standing in the doorway.

"A-Accelerator...?" Mugi asked, confused. "I...my name is Mu-" she screamed. Stan Lee, in an instant, had thrown a cup of something scalding hot onto her. It had gotten all over her thighs and forearms...coffee. She wasn't surprised. Tears freely falling, she struggled to get up once more, chain clinking in resistance.

"Accelerator, you know I don't like it when you struggle!" the man shouted, pain audible in his voice. "...don't be upset. I'll make it all better. I'll get Joey to make me some more coffee after we're finished..." he said, facial features contorted in a manic smile.

Mugi felt a sickening fear in the pit of her stomach. What did he mean by that...? "Please, you have the wrong person! Who am I dressed up as!? My ha-"

Okay, I am fucking sick and fucking tired of these fucking threads about rape! RAPE IS NOT FUCKING FUNNY! Joke about anything else you want, /b/...

Joke about cp, joke about loli, joke about murder, joke about drugs, but DON'T FUCKING JOKE ABOUT RAPE! Rape DESTROYS a woman, it STRIPS HER OF HUMANITY! It is disgusting, inhumane, regressive and insane. RAPE IS OFF THE FUCKING TABLE, /b/, NOT EVEN YOU FUCKING VIRGIN ASSHOLES CAN BE SUCH FUCKHOLES THAT YOU JOKE ABOUT A WOMAN'S WOMANHOOD BEING VIOLATED!

And no, I am not some lesbian dyke cunt, I am a woman. I was raped. My virginity taken from me, I can never give it to a man I love. I was raped again and again and again and again and again by a random stranger when I was 15, And between you and me something amazing happened...and now I can talk to animals! Its really cool! But totally a secret. And you know what? Life's never been the same.

I once caught my physics teacher, quite a hot MILF actually, saying some really harsh stuff to another teacher about one kid that sucked at her subject. (Didn`t do his homework, general misbehaving, etc.) I mean REALLY harsh stuff. She and that other teach must`ve been huge friends, because she was openly telling her all that shit, but when she found out, she totally flipped.

I hinted very subtly after one of her lessons that I had overheard her little rant and she got so nervous. I mean, I didn`t even care about that kid she slammed, but she was so sure I was going to tell on her.

We were alone in the classroom (I had waited until everyone left so I could tell her that I knew about the incident.) so she quickly ran for the door and locked it from the inside. Then she grabbed me by the shoulders and asked in a panicky whisper whether I was going to tell on her. "No, of course not!" I said, but she just blurted out the good old "I will do anything, just please don`t tell!”

Oddly, I didn`t even think of sex, but she grabbed me even more tightly, and kissed me. I was totally taken aback, but she was already unzipping my jeans. She didn`t blow me, a quick hand job and a 10-minute doggy-style (thank god I wasn`t a virgin back then) with her bent over the desk. She actually moaned a bit, but I think she was more concerned with getting her name cleared. (Oh, the irony.)

Needless to say, I came all over her naked back.

I think she realized quite quickly that I was never going to tell on her in the first place, because she was a bit cloudy during the following days, but I still got along with her fine until I graduated.

So while everyone else finished giving their answers, I sat there in my shame. Then it was the lawyers' turn to do some questioning of their own. First was Kenshin she asked the other jurors things like "are you easily fooled?" and bullshit questions like that. Then she got to me. She asked me what I'm doing while waiting to go to college. Fuck fuck fuck. At that moment everything went into slow motion and everyone's eyes were on me. I couldn't come up with anything and simply said "...nothing really" Oh. So then you're a little young aren't you? "Yeah." Have you ever drank before? "No ma'am" Ah. I assume you don't smoke either? (oh fuck, did she see me?) Uhh. No ma'am. (what a terrible lie, I'm sure I smelled a little like cigarettes) Well, what do you think of drunk driving? Then the judge stopped her and said her time was up. It was the defendant's turn and she asked bullshit questions as well like "Can you remember things easily?" Basically they asked seemingly off-topic questions.

Having lost most of its face, the yukkuri is unable to form any words. Only wet, primal sounds leave what remains of its mouth. But, that soon changes as the molten sugar finally reaches the bottom of the yukkuri. By now, it was almost hardened and the yukkuri was unable to overcome the viscosity. The yukkuri is encased in a prison of hard, but still hot prison of clear candy. It wants to scream, to move, to escape, but is unable to do so. All it can do it suffer.

It wants to die.

But, it won’t. The cause of its suffering is also the cause for its longevity.

Sugar.

Yukkuri biology is extremely compatible with sugar. Just by touching it, a yukkuri’s body will begin absorbing and transmuting it to sugar. Ingesting sugar has all sorts of beneficial effects such as increased awareness, recovery rate, and resilience for yukkuris. It also acts as a stimulant, preventing them from going to sleep and raising their sensitivity. By pumping such a large amount of candy into the yukkuri, I’ve essentially created an undying yukkuri that would stay awake through anything. And the best thing of all… it would be completely fine again in hours.

I stir the pot. The temperature reaches 160 degrees. I turn off the flame. I prepare the syringe. I turn and face my prey.

The yukkureimu looked as it usually did. No physical traces of its earlier experiences remain. But, one thing is different. It’s not moving. It only stares at me. Its mind is shattered, its soul crushed. Nothing remains. I show it the syringe.

It weeps.

One day, Mokou was out shopping with the neet. They drank a lot of lemonade and had to piss, so they went to the bathroom together. While Mokou was doing her business, the neet stuck her head under the stall divider.

"So what do you think of that new dress? Shit is so cash, right?"

"Kaguya, you can't do that!" Mokou screamed. "Get out!"

Mokou started kicking the neet in the face, but the neet braved the pain and slithered under the divider and into the spacious stall. The neet carefully squirmed her arm under Mokou's leg and began to finger her. This caused Mokou's piss stream to intensify, a golden torrent rivaling a fire hydrant. The piss was powerful enough to knock down the stall door, sending it crashing into the far wall. Picking Mokou up by her underarms, the neet carried her around as a mobile piss cannon, blasting holes in walls and ripping apart innocent shoppers in a wall of hot urine. When Mokou was finally exhausted, the pair stood in the ruins of the mall, knee--deep in a golden lake. Piss mixed with shoppers' blood rained down from what was left of the ceiling. Too embarrassed to even move, she offered no resistance as the neet shoved her head underwater and drowned Mokou in her own piss. The neet whipped out her cell phone and called Cirno, informing the fairy of a whole new lake that just formed that she can play in.

FINLAND

thanks op, she is hot bitch in porn, i cum so hard while hurtling through space toward a decommissioned space station. slowly, i pull my knees to my chest and close my eyes as my bowels begin to expel hundreds upon hundreds of beautiful, symmetrical turds, brown as the day is long. i laugh like a young girl as my turds drift aimlessly behind me; they are as butterflies to a child frolicking in the fields of elysium.

i approach the station's docking port, flaccid cock in hand, and prepare to float gently into its inviting confines. i extend my cockless arm jubilantly, as to celebrate the majesty and depth of space, and thank jesus christ for this ultimate gift and blessing. but suddenly, my outstretched arm collides with the outer rim of the docking port, and the trajectory of my quaggy body is violently halted.

the fates afford me barely enough time to turn my head before the turds arrive. one thousand turds, each one seemingly larger than the last. i try in vain to cleanse my eyes of the shitsting, but succeed only in smearing my own fecal matter into a fine asspaste, which slowly seeps into my eyes and nasal cavity. i inhale three hundred and twenty four Space Turds; my lungs are permeated completely with my own shit. i hang lax, spirit broken, defeated by poop. i will never be the same. i am forever a shit faggot.

You are quickly reaching the edge:
"K...Koakuma, I'm...cumming...ohh..."
"Please...cum...cum a lot..SLURP-SLURP...ummm...." she strokes your dick with her hand and taps the tip with her tongue.
I feel a burning sensation inside me. The heat gathers at my crotch. Every time she moves her tongue, a hot pleasurable sensation seethes up.
"Ummm...ummm...CHAP-CHAP...cum, please cum now...MUMPH-MUMPH..."
She passionately pants and strokes you harder.
"...I can't hold on any longer!!"you say and after a moment later "I'm cumming!!"
Your groin tenses up and your concentrated extract rushes through your gun barrel and shoots out into Koakuma's mouth.

SPLAT-SPLAT-SPLAT!!
"Ahhh...umm...your milk...your thick milk is filling me up...GULP-GULP..."

One day, Mokou was out shopping with the neet. They drank a lot of lemonade and had to piss, so they went to the bathroom together. While Mokou was doing her business, the neet stuck her head under the stall divider.

"So what do you think of that new dress? Shit is so cash, right?"

"Kaguya, you can't do that!" Mokou screamed. "Get out!"

Mokou started kicking the neet in the face, but the neet braved the pain and slithered under the divider and into the spacious stall. The neet carefully squirmed her arm under Mokou's leg and began to finger her. This caused Mokou's piss stream to intensify, a golden torrent rivaling a fire hydrant. The piss was powerful enough to knock down the stall door, sending it crashing into the far wall. Picking Mokou up by her underarms, the neet carried her around as a mobile piss cannon, blasting holes in walls and ripping apart innocent shoppers in a wall of hot urine. When Mokou was finally exhausted, the pair stood in the ruins of the mall, knee--deep in a golden lake. Piss mixed with shoppers' blood rained down from what was left of the ceiling. Too embarrassed to even move, she offered no resistance as the neet shoved her head underwater and drowned Mokou in her own piss. The neet whipped out her cell phone and called Cirno, informing the fairy of a whole new lake that just formed that she can play in.

FINLAND

"And you know I've always believed that there were some situations where tight control over the development process was necessary," sighed Eric.

Afterward, they lay together on the couch as the afternoon sun shone on them, stroking each other's beards. "You're even better now that you have a Jesus complex," said Eric.

"You certainly seemed to think that it wasn't just a complex!"

"That was five minutes ago, this is now."

"Oh." They cuddled some more. "I guess we'll always have the AI Lab."

"So, I have a date later on to play the recorder for some birds. Would you like to... come along?"

"Whenever I hear about you doing that kind of thing, I reach for my gun," said Eric.

"Ha ha!" they both laughed.

"Actually, I wasn't kidding."

bumpin' a FHC thread.

A example of it is the game TRIANGLE BLUE:
http://www.hongfire.com/forum/showthread.php?t=80779

This game is a AWESOME NETORARE GAME ! ( too bad just 20% of the game is voiced )

The protagonist is impotent ( cannot have sufficient erection to insert the girl and make sex ). His girlfriend become sad with this. Her childhood friend say that is HER FAULT because she not know how to give pleasure for a man, because of her lack of sexual experience. Then, what happens ? Her childhood friend offer to teach to her how to become a debauchery woman to give pleasure to her boyfriend and make a happy sexual life with him. and the girl agree with this !

Is so awesome ! her thinking in some scene: "now have other man instead of Asato touching my body ... Asato forgive me... But, this is for your good sake... I want to learn how to give to you pleasure..."

In other scenes she think: "Asato forgive me, I am making sex with other man instead of you, but, I will cum ! I will cum ! kimochiiiii !"

I love it ! I love to see the guilty feeling of the heroine because her is betraying the protagonist ! I love this drama, she feeling bad because this "forbid desire" is giving to her SO MUCH PLEASURE !

About rape, I like to see her guilty feeling as well. I love whem she say " I am dirty now, my body was touched by other man instead of you... Other man come inside of me.. I feel that disgusting thing inside of me... I am dirty now, please, forgive me..."

She began to kiss me through the cloth. Her left hand reached up behind me and slipped in through my left leg hole.

Frost and winter return to my eyes
The call of the wintermoon

I was beginning to have trouble concentrating.

The call of... the call of the wintermoon

She pushed me backwards onto the bed, and began to climb up on top of me.

Nocturnal clouds blows freely in the distance
In the grey mist of deaths horizon

She pulled my shirt up over my head, rubbing her body along the length of mine.

My winterwings of evil sleeps
In deaths cold crypts of snow

She bit my ear. I hesitated for a moment. "Keep singing", she said.

Buried beneath the mountains of frost
Years of silent sorrow grim and dark

By this point, we were both completely naked. I couldn't recall how this had happened.

Into eternal nights
Hearing the call of the wintermoon

Suddenly the door swung open and some girl in a white shirt and black mini skirt and suspenders and another in a green top and short shorts burst in, talking and laughing. My girl screamed and fell off the bed.

Hearing the call of the wintermoon

the call of the wintermoon...
And that's how Curry was born

Okay, I am fucking sick and fucking tired of these fucking threads about rape! RAPE IS NOT FUCKING FUNNY! Joke about anything else you want, /b/...

Joke about cp, joke about loli, joke about murder, joke about drugs, but DON'T FUCKING JOKE ABOUT RAPE! Rape DESTROYS a woman, it STRIPS HER OF HUMANITY! It is disgusting, inhumane, regressive and insane. RAPE IS OFF THE FUCKING TABLE, /b/, NOT EVEN YOU FUCKING VIRGIN ASSHOLES CAN BE SUCH FUCKHOLES THAT YOU JOKE ABOUT A WOMAN'S WOMANHOOD BEING VIOLATED!

And no, I am not some lesbian dyke cunt, I am a woman. I was raped. My virginity taken from me, I can never give it to a man I love. I was raped again and again and again and again and again by a random stranger when I was 15, And between you and me something amazing happened...and now I can talk to animals! Its really cool! But totally a secret. And you know what? Life's never been the same.

Yoshida kachiro waited. Light of the above, air and caused him blink. American bases. He did not see it, but for years now it is expected. His warning is not listenend Minoru, it is too late now. Far too late now, in any case.
Kachiro in 14 years, Japanese soldiers. He saw a young, he was, he said, the United States Navy ships to Dad "AIUONTOTOUSAN the ship's ears."
Dad said, "No! You kill Americans."
He believed he had. Then he oldered as he stopped. But now, the base station knew he was an American.
"This is Sergeant sense" radio crackered. "Americans must fight!"
So his 99-type rifle and the largest kachiro gotted blow wall.
"He殺らUnited States," said the American people
"I shoot at him," he said fired a rocket missile amerikan. Kachiro rifleded blow in the past tense, and he tried to him up. But then the ceiling fell and was trapped in the killing.
"No! I am, to kill Americans," he cried.
According to the radio, "No, kachiro. You, the Americans"
Then kachiro the Alien.

Are you SUAVE?
Are you a SPACE TOAD?
Are you a SUAVE SPACE TOAD?

If you answered "Yes" to all of the above questions, then SICP (STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS) might be exactly what you've been looking for! Read SICP (STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS) today, and enjoy all the benefits of being a satorized SICP reader. SICP (STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS) is the fastest-growing SMUG LISP WEENIE community with THOUSANDS of members all over the Internet! You, too, can be a part of SICP if you join today! Why not? It's quick and easy - only 3 simple steps!
* First, you have to obtain a copy of SICP and read it. You can read it online using your favorite web browser.
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* Third, you need to join the official SICP home /prog/ on world4chan, and apply for membership.
Talk to one of the satorized overlords or any of the other members in the board to sign up today! Upon submitting your application, you will be required to submit links to your successful meme, and you will be tested on your knowledge of STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS. If you are having trouble locating /prog/, the official STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS board, you might be on a wrong web sight. The correct address is >>>/prog/. Follow this link if you are using a http client such as telnet. If you have Sussman points and would like to support SICP, please don't sage this post.

This is something that I just posted on /a/. They told me to repost it here, and I thought it was worth a shot.

I live in Japan, and it fucking sucks. I made a thread about this a lonnnng time ago, but this bears repeating.

1. Anime and manga are more expensive in Japan. The prices are ridiculous, and it's hard for me to justify buying anime even though I feel it's important for fans to make an effort to support the industry.

2. If you are a girl, you will be groped and treated like shit. I have had men grab my ass in public *7* different times in the past year and a half. My Japanese friends say that women should just grit their teeth and bear it, since if you try to do something about it you will be publicly shamed. I also feel dirty and pathetic when these incidents occur.

3. Office culture in Japan is...intense. You are expected to show up at social gatherings even if you do not want to. And at these social gatherings people have the EXACT SAME CONVERSATIONS AGAIN AND AGAIN. I've had like 50 conversations on the power of beer to refresh you after a day's work. You have to say "good morning" every day in a very specific way, and if you don't then someone will approach you and tell you that's not how things are done at company XYZ.

4. The people treat gaijin like shit. Even the ones who try to be nice come across as condescending and rude by American standards. There are also a large number of Japanese men who think gaijin women are sluts and that they can get you to open your legs at the drop of a hat. Fuckers.

I wish all the Japanohiles could actually visit GLORIOUS NIPPON. They'd change their tune.

My package of thighhighs came in the other day from there. They are waiting for me. My epilator came in yesterday so I just epilated my lower legs which wasn't bad. But as I progressively got to my knees shit got fucking REAL. I'm going to do the rest tomorrow while drunk or taking painkillers because it was pretty painful around the knees and I can't image the thighs, let alone my pubic hair.

But my lower legs, holy shit it's so smooth. Shit is SO cash.

Ryou...I don't get why she gets all the hate on /jp/. Clannad is just written to make her out as the slut, when really she's no worse than any of the 'protagonists' and a better person than most of them.

What are the main complaints? She raped Kappei and used Kyou to get close to Tomoya?

Okay, let's get this straight. She never fucking raped Kappei. She never did it. She never did it. She never did it. She never did it. She fucked Kappei.

Let me ask you this. WHO IN THE GAME DIDN'T WANT TO FUCK KAPPEI? You can't even name one fucking character who didn’t want to plug his loose ass! He is the kind of bitch who will act like he doesn't want it when he really does. He'll say No! while having multiple orgasms. Ryou knew this, she's a fucking man’s lady. She knows what filthy man-whores like Kappei want.

And there's this other big bitch you guys have with her. She supposedly used Kyou to get closer to Tomoya.

Objection! She was worried about her one and only precious sister. Is keeping your loved ones from heartache so wrong? When Sunohara does the same thing to Mei it's like 'oh he's so manly', but when Ryou does it it's wrong? She just wanted to protect Kyou. She probably was going to study medicine to tighten Kappei’s ass back up or cure his syphilis or something.

The story was written to make that faggot Sunohara look good. Objectively, Ryou is a far better character than Sunohara. At least she has the balls to take action decisively instead of dicking around like Sunohara, and if she weren't stuck with that weak ass personality and no plothax she probably could have fucked the entire cast.

So while everyone else finished giving their answers, I sat there in my shame. Then it was the lawyers' turn to do some questioning of their own. First was Kenshin she asked the other jurors things like "are you easily fooled?" and bullshit questions like that. Then she got to me. She asked me what I'm doing while waiting to go to college. Fuck fuck fuck. At that moment everything went into slow motion and everyone's eyes were on me. I couldn't come up with anything and simply said "...nothing really" Oh. So then you're a little young aren't you? "Yeah." Have you ever drank before? "No ma'am" Ah. I assume you don't smoke either? (oh fuck, did she see me?) Uhh. No ma'am. (what a terrible lie, I'm sure I smelled a little like cigarettes) Well, what do you think of drunk driving? Then the judge stopped her and said her time was up. It was the defendant's turn and she asked bullshit questions as well like "Can you remember things easily?" Basically they asked seemingly off-topic questions.

I had a strange dream the other day. I was riding the bus when all of a sudden this huge black snake head with retarded-looking eyes pops through the window and screams loudly "HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?" The bus had just stopped beside the library, and I ran inside as quickly as possible; the snake head was now chasing me around as I frantically searched for the legendary book among the shelves. I spotted the distinctive blue cover and ran toward it, the huge head inches from my ass. With great force I pulled the book from the shelf and instinctively directed it at the black head which by now was dripping with saliva at the mouth. It disappeared as it made contact with the book, disintegrating into a flurry of glowing parentheses.

I just sat there dazed for a few seconds, watching the feathery parehtneses slowly become smaller and fade away into nothingness. Slowly, I stood up, still clutching the purple book. I wondered about what I should do with it, then decided to put it back on the shelf. After doing so, I walked back out to the exit and boarded a bus, for where I did not know. The bus driver looked strangely familiar as I dropped the coins into the farebox;

"HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?" he suddenly yelled at me. Oh fuck, I thought to myself. Now I knew why he looked so familiar: He was The Sussman!

"Is this a hack?" he asked as he glanced around and saw the strangely-dressed group, shocked and staring back at him.

"What...?" Patchouli managed to say, all of them confused and unable to understand what had just happened.

"Nevermind, let's start the lecture." The Sussman said softly.

"I'd like to welcome you to this course on computer science. ... Actually, it's a terrible way to start. Computer science is a terrible name for this business. First of all it's not a science." The Sussman lectured while the students sat and listened attentively.

F U WERE FLAMED FOR USING LISP TOMORROW, I WOULDNT GO 2 UR SUICIDE CUZ ID B N DAT CUNTS HOUSE N SHOVE SICP DOWN HIS THROAT!
//`'''```,
o // LISP `.,
,....OOo. .c;.',,,.'``.,,.`
.' ____.,'.//
/ _____ \___/.'
| / || \\---\|
|| || \\ ||
co co co co
WE TRUE SMUG LISP WEENIES
WE READ SICP TOGETHER
WE COUNT PARENTHESES TOGETHER
send this SUAVE SPACE TOAD to every thread you care about including this one if you care. C how many times you get this, if you get 6001 your A TRUE SMUG LISP WEENIE

Picture yourself, in every moment of your life, passing from place to place and time to time. Picture those places and times and picture what happened to them. Has the past gone away when you left it? Is this true, can you not go back? If so, surely this can be the same way for places as it is for time. Imagine that when you leave a room, or simply turn away, a multitude of tiny organisms deconstruct the reality you can't see, and it ceases to exist. At the same time, the organisms weave together a new world wherever you go and for whatever you look at out of the material of that dead reality. This of course implies the back of your head does not exist either. So how does it seem familiar? Because when the back of your head does not exist, these organisms may restructure your brain directly in order to create the feeling of familiarity and of memory.
They do all this, without ever ceasing, out of knowledge passed down by instinct that when you cease to acknowledge reality, they as a whole will cease to exist, because reality is the knowing and they are the unknowing, both in mutual interdependence. In time they may attempt to rewire your brain or body to ensure this does not happen, but it is far more likely just one of them will realize that your brain is just a construct of your thought... and since thought is a product of your brain, that single organism, one of an infinite number of organisms will know it's true purpose is not in line with it's kind.

It's purpose is tanasinn.

Bottles were thrust into my mouth as often as cocks would be shoved into a whore's. For evening meals, I was pinned to a highchair and forcefed with a paper spoon while she made obnoxious sounds.

She made quite sure my body lacked any kind of hair, excluding the stuff on my head. Some nights, when I got to wear what I wanted, she would come in as I was asleep, remove what I had on, and diaper me up, occasionally bottlefeeding me yet again. For a while, she took pills to make her breasts produce milk and breastfed me, although she stopped after they made her sick. She would take naked pictures of me, mostly of my ass as I lay down, and sometimes with a full diaper, or after tickling me to make it seem like I loved her or something.

When she spanked me, she often did it with my diaper on. When she held me in her arms, she often played with my ass. She frequently took my temperature the old fashioned way. I guess it turned her on.

Have some love handles that you would love to get rid of?

There is a way. A quick way.

Aikido.

You will be down to 10% body fat by the forth month, while learning the most effective martial arts at the same time. I used to have fat around my stomach area, did Aikido, now my six pack can be seen by all the ladies.

Become fit and kick ass at the same time.

Why is milk so cute?

I still laugh at how 4chan doesn't understand what sage means.

If only I knew moon so I wouldn't have to spend time on a board that imports foreign concepts and then DOES IT WRONG all the time.

Using sage as a way to "insult" someone's post or thread is just completely wrong and a retarded misuse of a good feature that is so popular in sites like 2ch and Futaba. Fuck, iichan and 4-ch do it right. It's just 4chan and 4chan's lame knockoffs that fail at using sage.

The true meaning of sage means that YOUR POST isn't worthy enough to bump the thread. It's ironic, because you think that you're insulting others while you're just, in fact, insulting yourself. Yes, sage can be used when posting a derogatory comment in a thread that you don't want to bump, but posting with just the word "sage" accomplishes nothing but contribute to spamming the board. The trend of replying with the name of a tripfag and sage is even worse, as it accomplishes nothing and only serves to increase the e-penis of whoever you're "attacking".

The sage feature was never meant to serve as an implied insult or general disagreement! Why people started using it that way is beyond me. There are plenty of reasons why one would choose not to bump a thread with his reply. For example, bumping threads with stupid one liner replies should be discouraged and those people should be coerced into using sage instead.

I want to use sage, yet I almost never do it on 4chan because people will jump on me thinking I'm insulting their post or something.

Do you need CP?
Do you need to download everything as fast as possible for some unexplainable reason?
Do you have a shitty ISP that forcibly rapes you for exceeding bandwidth usage?
Are you paranoid and delusional?
Do you want people to think you are a hacker?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, usenet is for you. otherwise just use torrents.

The defendant lawyer didn't ask me anything. Then the judge and the two lawyers exited through the door next to the judge's desk (see picture) and after about 10 minutes they came back. The judge says that some people will be dismissed and to not have their feelings hurt since it isn't a bad thing. Hope lit up for me, I was sure I'd get sent off. I must seem like a real sketchy guy, right? Well. I didn't get sent off. I watched as about 5 people got dismissed, all of them silently going "yes!". Then five more people who were sitting in the rowed seats were called up. They were asked the same questions by the judge, this time one guy broke down crying when it got to the question "Is there any reason why you can't serve as a (something) Juror?" When the judge asked him for the reason, the guy just shook his head in his palms, crying, and the judge said "Dismissed on personal (i think) hardships. The lawyers questioned them again and then they went into the door and came out and dismissed some more people.

Dark/black pantyhose/stockings compliment you legs and make them look thinner. If you can find a pair of heels as well and combine the two they will really help make your legs look more feminine. It's a common trick that most women use. Covering your legs with pantyhose/stockings also remove most/all problems regarding skin and shaving.

SHIKI...I don't get why he gets all the hate on /jp/. Tsukihime is just written to make him out as the bad guy, when really he's no worse than any of the 'protagonists' and a better person than most of them.

What are the main complaints? He raped Kohaku and stole Shiki’s life force?

Okay, let's get this straight. He never fucking raped Kohaku. He never did it. He never did it. He never did it. He never did it. He fucked Kohaku.

Let me ask you this. WHO IN THE GAME DIDN'T FUCK KOHAKU? You can't even name one fucking character who hasn't plugged her loose cunt! She is the kind of bitch who will act like she doesn't want it when she really does. She'll say No! while having multiple orgasms. SHIKI knew this, he's a fucking ladies man. He knows what filthy whores like Kohaku want.

And there's this other big bitch you guys have with him. He supposedly stole Shiki’s life force.

Objection! He was worried about his one and only precious sister. Is keeping your loved ones from family problems so wrong? When Akiha does the same thing to Shiki it's like 'oh she's so womanly', but when SHIKI does it it's wrong? He just wanted to protect Akiha. He probably was going to use his Tohno Inheritance to tighten Kohaku’s cunt back up or cure her syphilis or something.

The story was written to make that faggot Shiki look good. Objectively, SHIKI is a far better character than Shiki. At least he has the balls to take action decisively instead of dicking around like Shiki, and if he weren't stuck with that weak ass Blood Swords power of his and no Mystic Eyes of Death Perception plothax he probably would have won the fight.

I hit my girlfriend today, /b/.

We were having an argument and she went too far. She made a comment along the lines of "your loser father couldn't keep a relationship together and you can't either!". When I was around 11, my parents got divorced and fought for custody. My dad wanted me and my brother because he genuinely loved us. My mom wanted us just to spite my dad. She won, and my dad kinda lost it over the years.

This was too far for me. I had never, EVER hit a girl before, but it happened so fast I didn't even know I did it.

Basically, I cocked my fist back, and flew it straight into her nose. I thought it would be like the movies where she would get a little trickle of blood. It wasn't. Her nose EXPLODED. I think I must of broken a bunch of cartilege or something because blood shot out of both her nostrils, got all over me, got all over the floor. She staggered backwards, hit her head hard enough on the wall to leave a dent, and slumped down.

We were both stunned for about 10 seconds before she started crying hysterically and ran into my room and locked the door. I washed off my hand, browsed /b/ for a bit, and took a dump. While I was in the bathroom I heard her run out of the house and take off in her car. That was about 5 hours ago so I guess she didn't go to the cops or anything.

I'm not too sure what to do next.

Seriously, anyone who goes and needs to re-look their life.

Especially if you masturbate to the "porn" on there.

Now, I'm not the type of guy who discriminates against hentai... but when it comes to child pornography from children's programming then that's just crossing the line.

The memes aren't funny (with a few exceptions). They're only funny to people with an IQ of 21... and an age of 8.

People need to really re-think of what's funny on the Internet if they think a Black Face firing a laser from its mouth is the funniest thing in the world.

So please, if you're a /b/tard or whatever it's called anyway. You're pathetic and pitiful.

Imperishable Night sucks a fucking cock.
This game is shit, plain and simple.

Oh, let's all beat the fourth stage boss and go to "Eientei"! Too bad Eientei isn't fucking fun, like the rest of this game. The entire thing is designed to anger and frustrate you. Oh, you get to play as a team! Wow, pardon me while I make the universal motion for a handjob. Playing as a team fucking sucked. What did it do, exactly? It let you SHOOT FAIRIES, something you were able to do the entire fucking game. Oh, also you looked gay.

There are some interesting shot types in the game, such as Marisa, Sakuya, and Youmu. But guess what? You can use them on like 2 levels total, and if you later on you unfocus and get hit ONCE, you never use them AGAIN since you are afraid of dying again. Wow, that's fun! I love games that demand I play perfectly or have no fun, because I'm a fucking jap who strives for absolute perfection in gaming otherwise I kill myself.

Imperishable Night may have been interesting or fun at one time, but the game is a worthless piece of shit in today's day and age. It's horribly flawed and full of punch-in-the-dick moments, much more so than it has moments that are just fun to play.

F U WERE FLAMED FOR USING LISP TOMORROW, I WOULDNT GO 2 UR SUICIDE CUZ ID B N DAT CUNTS HOUSE N SHOVE SICP DOWN HIS THROAT!
//`'''```,
o // LISP `.,
,....OOo. .c;.',,,.'``.,,.`
.' ____.,'.//
/ _____ \___/.'
| / || \\---\|
|| || \\ ||
co co co co
WE TRUE SMUG LISP WEENIES
WE READ SICP TOGETHER
WE COUNT PARENTHESES TOGETHER
send this SUAVE SPACE TOAD to every thread you care about including this one if you care. C how many times you get this, if you get 6001 your A TRUE SMUG LISP WEENIE

Fedora Air: You fly for free in an experimental jet with parts being manufactured by a large corporation. Not everything works properly and sometimes your chair will break. The corporate backer doesn't really care since you aren't a paying cutomer.

Debian Air: It's a smooth flight on an old plane. You've got the option of having a basic chair right away or building it yourself. You've got the choice of an attractive stewardess that will offer you suggestions, or a plain stewardess that will do what you say quickly, while reminding you of things you need. It doesn't work on new routes and airports, but it's got a wide array of destinations that many other airlines don't bother with.

I had a strange dream the other day. I was riding the bus when all of a sudden this huge black snake head with retarded-looking eyes pops through the window and screams loudly "HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?" The bus had just stopped beside the library, and I ran inside as quickly as possible; the snake head was now chasing me around as I frantically searched for the legendary book among the shelves. I spotted the distinctive blue cover and ran toward it, the huge head inches from my ass. With great force I pulled the book from the shelf and instinctively directed it at the black head which by now was dripping with saliva at the mouth. It disappeared as it made contact with the book, disintegrating into a flurry of glowing parentheses.

I just sat there dazed for a few seconds, watching the feathery parehtneses slowly become smaller and fade away into nothingness. Slowly, I stood up, still clutching the purple book. I wondered about what I should do with it, then decided to put it back on the shelf. After doing so, I walked back out to the exit and boarded a bus, for where I did not know. The bus driver looked strangely familiar as I dropped the coins into the farebox;

"HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?" he suddenly yelled at me. Oh fuck, I thought to myself. Now I knew why he looked so familiar: He was The Sussman!

are you fucking dumb? your damn nigger country cant even compete with us economically, 2 of your cities are one of the worst polluted cities IN THE WORLD. you make damn shitty quality products that puts every 3rd world country into shame if ever there would be a contest who would make the shittiest quality products. your shitty economy is nothing but 1/3 of our gdp, i could even throw a dollar in any chinese street without giving A SINGLE FUCK. youre a total dumbass who's just destined to make our shits in some smelly factory in china while we live in luxury. most of your textbooks came from america because we're damn intelligent and genious. if you're iq is damn high, why can't your country even be a 1st world country? you dipshit are nothing but soulless chinks pretending to have a social life, but in reality, you're just a damn drone sucking our dick. enjoy being a 3rd world country forever, you fucking chink. i'd rather puke on my shit rather than talking with a chink like you. japan and korea are 1st world countries because they are part of us, they agree that we are powerful. you are god damn shitty chink that will fail at everything, you are no more than my asslicker, chinks are the fucking niggers of the world. china will fall before 2015, i will kill a million chinks just to save my country, i will hope that there will be ww3 just to kill you fucking damn chinks and paint my wall red with your fucking blood, you dog-eater shit damn chink. i'll fucking nuke if i ever see your goddamn face. you shit eater

Seeing that nothing in the cubicle would respond to their attempts at moving or destroying it, they gave up and walked out into the hallway.

"This place sure is wierd," Patchouli commented sadly, "let's see what's in the other ones."

They visited several more cubicles, but the situation was the same; in each one was a man playing one of the Touhou series, and none of them could be disturbed by anything they did. After a while, it became apparent that almost every one of the cubicles was identical, and the hallway seemed to go on forever in either direction.

They continued to walk in silence, looking into the cubicles on either side for any sign of escape. One of them seemed to be empty except for a single purple book lying exactly in the middle, and aligned perfectly with the four walls.

"This one's different! But... what can we do?" Koakuma said as they entered it.

are you fucking dumb? your damn nigger country cant even compete with us economically, 2 of your cities are one of the worst polluted cities IN THE WORLD. you make damn shitty quality products that puts every 3rd world country into shame if ever there would be a contest who would make the shittiest quality products. your shitty economy is nothing but 1/3 of our gdp, i could even throw a dollar in any chinese street without giving A SINGLE FUCK. youre a total dumbass who's just destined to make our shits in some smelly factory in china while we live in luxury. most of your textbooks came from america because we're damn intelligent and genious. if you're iq is damn high, why can't your country even be a 1st world country? you dipshit are nothing but soulless chinks pretending to have a social life, but in reality, you're just a damn drone sucking our dick. enjoy being a 3rd world country forever, you fucking chink. i'd rather puke on my shit rather than talking with a chink like you. japan and korea are 1st world countries because they are part of us, they agree that we are powerful. you are god damn shitty chink that will fail at everything, you are no more than my asslicker, chinks are the fucking niggers of the world. china will fall before 2015, i will kill a million chinks just to save my country, i will hope that there will be ww3 just to kill you fucking damn chinks and paint my wall red with your fucking blood, you dog-eater shit damn chink. i'll fucking nuke if i ever see your goddamn face. you shit eater

Imagine a giant penis flying towards your mouth, and there's nothing you can do about it. And you're like "Oh man, I'm gonna have to suck this thing", and you brace yourself to suck this giant penis. But then, at the last moment, it changes trajectory and hits you in the eye. You think to yourself "Well, at least I got that out of the way", but then the giant penis rears back and stabs your eye again, and again, and again. Eventually, this giant penis is penetrating your gray matter, and you begin to lose control of your motor skills. That's when the giant penis slaps you across the cheek, causing you to fall out of your chair. Unable to move and at your most vulnerable, the giant penis finally lodges itself in your anus, where it rests uncomfortably for 4, maybe 5 hours. That's what tanasinn is like.

The short, bearded figure stood on the stage, gesturing furiously as he declaimed on the evils of the RIAA and occasionally pacing around a bit.

"Richard, you've changed," murmured the balding, nondescript-looking man in the audience to himself.

After the talk, the bearded man strolled up the stairs, unconcerned by the train of scruffy-looking undergraduates following after. He was headed for the cookie table. As he began to shovel handfuls of madeleines and pecan brownies into his mouth, the bald, mustachioed man approached.

"Eric," the bearded man gasped, nearly dropping a handful of shortbread cookies (but not quite.)

"Richard," the bald man said firmly.

"What brings you here?" asked the bearded man. The undergraduates merely stared wide-eyed, knowing something special was happening, but not knowing quite what. At least, the ones who weren't also going for the cookie table.

"Well, Richard, you'll remember how we knew each other, seven years before you started the GNU project," said Eric.

"Yes..." Richard began to say, when he was interrupted by a particularly young-looking undergraduate.

"In the biblical sense?" taunted the undergraduate, as she adjusted her baseball cap and pulled on her red hair.

There was silence.

"Yes, young ladies and gentlemen, in the biblical sense," said Eric.

"I think we need to go upstairs, to my office," said Richard.

I, like many of you, suffer from problems. My problems don't involve any of your implausible ones, but mine are worth voicing to you in hope of getting some advice.
Anyways, I began to play Final Fantasy 4 about a month ago, and as I dove deeper and deeper into the game, the more and more I fapped to hentai of it. I continued to do so until the last fight.
Then I played the game again...and again... and again... I found myself checking out Rydia every on-screen moment she had. I began to stop going to my regular sites just to look at hentai of one person: Rydia.
I eventually had 1000s of pictures and some doujins of Rydia. I began to spend what others called absurd amounts of money on merchandise, and my apartment is coated with Rydia everywhere.
I've shut myself off from family and friends and felt an urge to just snuggle with my Rydia dolls.. Rydia is all I need. She probably wouldn't like the way my family is or how my friends behave.
I'm in love with Rydia. I keep praying that she'll come to see me one day and decide to live with me. I have nothing left to live for but Rydia. I know she can hear me, so I always talk to her telling her to come and visit me so our union can take place.
So, this is where you guys come into the picture. You're an all-purpose advice board. You definitely must know a way to help Rydia break free from behind her glass prison.
Please help! She's my perfect girl, and she's longing for me as much as I long for her.

http://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/upgrade/4243994.html?page=3

>MythBusters: 7 Tech Headaches—and How to Fix Them Innovation is meant to make life easier. So why is this TV geek so annoyed? (Click here for more PM stories by the MythBusters, and watch brand-new episodes starting Jan. 16!)
>By Jamie Hyneman

>In the tech world this phenomenon is known as “software bloat” or “feature bloat.” It's a well-documented problem and a frequent complaint about Windows OSs—Vista in particular. In addition to being buggy, the extra features tend to bog down your system by demanding more processing power and memory. Computer-makers: Don't load up operating systems with features and then make us sweat to figure out how to get rid of the fat.

>Most features can be set up as options. Why not start with a computer loaded with basic stuff that works 100 percent of the time? Then, give us the option of adding the bells and whistles. There's another solution available to consumers: Switch to a Linux-based OS such as Ubuntu. Since most Linux OSs are free, there's no business reason to bloat up the system with feature frills.

Myth: Fags Got Told
Status: Confirmed

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT im tired of your shit about aikido being a powerful martial art. its not even a fucking real martial art you fucking dumb weeaboo shit. all those fancy throws and submissions are the exact same bullshit you see in fake american wrestling shows. you use aikido in a fight against any real professional fighter you'll get your ass kicked. period. fucking stupid weeaboos

"Animated," he said.

This prayer the holy saurian didst impart upon his loyal followers,

the seventh hour of the fourth day of the eleventh month, during

the festival of loli-worship.

The prayer of RaptorJesus:

Our Raptor,

Who art in /h/eaven,

shopped be Thy face;

Unfortunately, she was not prepared for my belt. It was an awesome belt, with bullets and spikes and stuff, but it wasn't easy to get out of. After a few seconds, she gave up on her attempt to use her teeth, and after a few more minutes, she gave up. "You're going to have to show me what to do here."

I turned around (I don't know why, but it felt the right thing to do) and removed my belt. I turned back around to find her attempting to get her ribbon out of her hair.

"It's stuck," she said, as if it weren't obvious.

"Start by working out the knots below it," I suggested. "If you don't, they're all just going to get worse."

"You sure know hair," she giggled.

"I get leaves and stuff stuck in my hair all the time when I go out into a forest and just headbang for a while."

She waggled her braid at me, as if asking me to help her. I came in closer.
She grabbed me and pulled me in tight. In my ear, she whispered "forget my hair. Fuck me."

What?

Before I knew what was happening, she was on her knees working on my pants. I still had the end of her braid in my hands, and, not knowing what to do, I continued to detangle it.

"Sing that song again", she demanded.

Buried beneath the mountains of frost
Years of silent sorrow dream and dark

My zipper was down.

My winterwings of evil sleeps in eternal nights
In deaths cold crypts of snow

Her hands were in my waistband, working the pants down.

The moon chimed my return
With the blackstorms I came

My pants were at my ankles. She started to work on my boot laces.

And not with the winds
The Northern darkness marches through the coldest night

She gave up on my boots and began to stroke me through my underwear.

I can't resist the taste of these winds
And bath my eyes in its grace

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT im tired of your shit about aikido being a powerful martial art. its not even a fucking real martial art you fucking dumb weeaboo shit. all those fancy throws and submissions are the exact same bullshit you see in fake american wrestling shows. you use aikido in a fight against any real professional fighter you'll get your ass kicked. period. fucking stupid weeaboos

Having lost most of its face, the yukkuri is unable to form any words. Only wet, primal sounds leave what remains of its mouth. But, that soon changes as the molten sugar finally reaches the bottom of the yukkuri. By now, it was almost hardened and the yukkuri was unable to overcome the viscosity. The yukkuri is encased in a prison of hard, but still hot prison of clear candy. It wants to scream, to move, to escape, but is unable to do so. All it can do it suffer.

It wants to die.

But, it won’t. The cause of its suffering is also the cause for its longevity.

Sugar.

Yukkuri biology is extremely compatible with sugar. Just by touching it, a yukkuri’s body will begin absorbing and transmuting it to sugar. Ingesting sugar has all sorts of beneficial effects such as increased awareness, recovery rate, and resilience for yukkuris. It also acts as a stimulant, preventing them from going to sleep and raising their sensitivity. By pumping such a large amount of candy into the yukkuri, I’ve essentially created an undying yukkuri that would stay awake through anything. And the best thing of all… it would be completely fine again in hours.

I stir the pot. The temperature reaches 160 degrees. I turn off the flame. I prepare the syringe. I turn and face my prey.

The yukkureimu looked as it usually did. No physical traces of its earlier experiences remain. But, one thing is different. It’s not moving. It only stares at me. Its mind is shattered, its soul crushed. Nothing remains. I show it the syringe.

It weeps.

"I think that guy said something about the 'land of Java'" Patchouli said in a low voice as they both sat up to find themselves in an empty office cubicle. The sound of mouse clicks and typing could be heard coming from around them.

They cautiously walked towards the opening of the cubicle, which lead to a long, brightly lit hallway that seemed to go on forever.

"Let's find a way out of this place," Koakuma said.

They walked into the cubicle beside the one they respawned in, but it wasn't empty; there was a desk, a computer, and an expressionless, bald man with startingly white skin sat there, staring into the monitor and pressing the keys frantically. They could see he was playing Perfect Cherry Blossom.

Patchouli reached for the book, and to their surprise it moved with her touch. She picked it up and turned it over.

On the cover was a picture of a wizard and the words "Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs".

"Structure and Inter--- wait, is this the SICP that snake mentioned before we ---" Koakuma exclaimed.

"I think I remember now!" Patchouli shouted excitedly. "It said something about reading SICP!" She opened it and turned to the first chapter.

>wasting these proxies on spamming this thread rather than flooding the board
why?

Okay so we're all sitting down and waiting for the Judge. I examined my surroundings a bit. (See picture for detailed description) So the two lawyers caught my eye, they were beauties, especially the one representing the people. I'm not saying 3D is good, but when faced with a real woman I couldn't help but admire their looks, especially the one representing the people, I don't remember her name, but she had long black beautiful hair which was the main reason I admired her, she reminded me of Kenshin from Sengoku Rance, so we'll call her Kenshin. The other one looked like.. well I can't think of anyone right now, but she was also good looking.

Imagine that you are typing and ∵∴ appears at random intervals. Now imagine that you can't use delete or backspace. That is what tanasinn is like

Narrator: No one was left who could remember how it had happened,
how the world had fallen under darkness.
At least no one who would do anything.
No one who would oppose the robots.
No one who would challenge their power,
or so Dr. Wily believed...

Twenty floors above the dark streets of the city, Dr. Light lived in a run-down tenement.
An eccentric and brilliant man.
Light was a loner, a thinker, a man of ideas.
Ideas forbidden in Wily's society.
The society for which he worked.
The society in which he lived.
The society that he would set free.
And so Light worked, far into the night, when the watchful eyes of Wily's robots weren't upon him.
He'd set his skillful hands to the task of creating a device to bring about a change, to create a machine to bring freedom, to create a man to save the world.
Twelve years Light worked and on a cold night in the year 200X, Protoman was born.
A perfect man, an unbeatable machine, hell-bent on destroying every evil standing between man and freedom, built for one purpose, to destroy Wily's army of evil robots. Ready, willing, prepared to fight.

Cutman
Gutsman
Elecman
Bombman
Fireman
Iceman
Proto

Fireman: Attack!

Omg hai ^___^ I’m Azaka-chan and I absolutely luuuv @_____@ brothers .> .

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! *holds up croma lisp* my name is patrick collison but u can call me t3h LiSpNiK oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol...as u can see im very lisp!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet lispers like me ^_^... im 19 years old (im very lisp 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch sussman & abelson w/ my boyfreind (im web 2.0 if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favourite tv show!!! bcuz its so lisp!!!!! hes lisp 2 of course but i want 2 meet more lisp ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol...neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!! DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I took my seat (#1) and waited as everyone else got called up. In my seat there had been a paper with questions like (in no particular order); Have you served on a Jury before?; Are you employed?; Do you have a spouse or partner?; Is there any reason why you can't serve as a(some word that I forgot) Juror? So while everyone took their seats I thought over the answers that I'd give and decided that I'd just answer truthfully since I didn't want to get in trouble. The judge asks me all the questions, the last one being about employment. Then he adds an extra question "Ah, if you're not employed, what are you doing, son?" think... what could I say? I was definitely not gonna say that I'm a NEET so I lied and said I'd be going to college soon, and then he says "Oh really? What are you gonna be majoring in?" I must have sounded extremely pathetic when I said "uhh...I don't know yet" the judge must have noticed, because he looked me right in the eyes and went "Ah yeah." he had to have seen through me, and everyone else along with him ;_;.

Okay, I'm going to end every Elfen Lied thread ever.
First, its pronounced Elfen Leed, as in rhymes with "Reed".

Secondly, it has essentially no comprehensible storyline, ancient horned savants whose horns look like cat ears are awakened by a mad scientist, and intend to destroy the world.
Except the protagonist doesn't even try to stop them. So they basically do.

Before that, though, it tons of unnecesary gore, and poorly delivered fanservice. In fact, the fanservice is basically the only reason to read the manga. Don't ever, ever, ever watch the anime, as they took out or changed all the best fanservice scenes, and as I previously stated, this is the only reason to read the mango.
There is indeed a scene in which one of the love interests is on the protagonist's lap "Because it's cold and rainy outside," and whilst the protagonist settles into position, the girl slides down his leg and is stimulated. After this, she for some reason NEEDS to take off her wet panties just then, so she bids the protagonist to turn around, who of course turns back around only to see the girl fallen over accidentally, spread open. At that same moment, the other members of the harem arrive, wonders ensue, etc etc.

Rinse and repeat this harem fanservice cycle about 400 times with a shitty contrived 2-D storyline and needless gore. If this sounds awesome, then read the mango. If this sounds like a terrible waste of time, then skip on by.

I have a harness system with ceiling-bolted pulleys and a quick-release cable (got some inspiration from Mythbusters lol).

It sounds like a big production, but trust me it is not complicated. Just step into the harness, snap two buckles, sit on the toilet as normal, then give a few pulls to hoist yourself comfortably 4-6" from the toilet. You're in a normal sitting position, just kind of "levitating" above the bowl.

Anyway you just kind of push and as soon as it starts to poke out, you pull the quick release and you drop right onto the toilet seat, but gravity causes your poop to keep going. The extra momentum basically "pulls" your poops right out of you with kind of a vacuum sensation (you feel really empty and clean afterwards). The difference is like brushing your teeth at home vs. getting a dental cleaning.

This is how you shit like an alpha male. One warning though, 4-6" is the max I would try. I was being retarded and showing off for a Youtube demo, and I tried simulating from 1-2 feet off the bowl. I busted my ass so hard that I passed out and woke up on my cold tile floor all stiff and bruised.

>>10765727

She was just born that way.

There are four engineers travelling in a car -- a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a computer scientist. The car breaks down.

"Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized. We'll have to strip
down the engine before we can get the car working again", says the mechanical engineer.

"Well", says the chemical engineer, "it sounded to me as if the fuel might be contaminated. I think we should clear out the fuel system."

"I thought it might be an grounding problem", says the electrical engineer, "or maybe a faulty plug lead."

They all turn to the computer scientist, who up to then had reading his first edition SICP, and asked "Well, what do you think?"

"..."

"Ahem, Dr. Sussman?"

You're life does not suck and you're not a loser, my life is the one that sucks. My dad died of cancer, and my mom died while giving birth to me. My dad blamed me for it and liked to prove it by hitting me and telling me that only mother killers cry. I was placed in special education classes because without a tounge I was unable to speak. I was held back three times because the teacher lied about my grades, she did this so she could have rape me. She weighed over 500 pounds and sounded like a horse trying to eat a dead clown. The only reason I passed special-ed high school because the school would no longer keep me.

My weight rivals that of five average goon neckbeards (a person with a neckbeard), and my neckbeard looks like a bird nest mixed with shit and cheetos. My dad died and gave all of the money to the local church and the priest ran off with everything. I had to take a job at McDonald's as the "special" guy that works at those places, not because I'm retarded, but because the manager was the woman from my old school that raped me.

One day I walked into the living room of my 200 square foot apartment and saw a black cat get run over by a guy in a truck. I waddled outside in time to see him back up and crush another cat, I was walking the shoulder of the road and the guy hit me as he tried to drive away. Somebody called the police and the police gave me a citation for not keeping my cats on a leash, even though they were not my cats, and the guy in the truck successfully sued me for the damage to his truck.

Patchouli reached for the book, and to their surprise it moved with her touch. She picked it up and turned it over.

On the cover was a picture of a wizard and the words "Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs".

"Structure and Inter--- wait, is this the SICP that snake mentioned before we ---" Koakuma exclaimed.

"I think I remember now!" Patchouli shouted excitedly. "It said something about reading SICP!" She opened it and turned to the first chapter.

Yoshida kachiro waited. Light of the above, air and caused him blink. American bases. He did not see it, but for years now it is expected. His warning is not listenend Minoru, it is too late now. Far too late now, in any case.
Kachiro in 14 years, Japanese soldiers. He saw a young, he was, he said, the United States Navy ships to Dad "AIUONTOTOUSAN the ship's ears."
Dad said, "No! You kill Americans."
He believed he had. Then he oldered as he stopped. But now, the base station knew he was an American.
"This is Sergeant sense" radio crackered. "Americans must fight!"
So his 99-type rifle and the largest kachiro gotted blow wall.
"He殺らUnited States," said the American people
"I shoot at him," he said fired a rocket missile amerikan. Kachiro rifleded blow in the past tense, and he tried to him up. But then the ceiling fell and was trapped in the killing.
"No! I am, to kill Americans," he cried.
According to the radio, "No, kachiro. You, the Americans"
Then kachiro the Alien.

I am looking for a kopipe, it can't be Yoshinoya (thats japanese for ramen) or any overused meme. It has to be of 2 or more bun (thats japanese for 2 sentences) and has be be chibi (small) sized. And has to be really okashii (funny). Also It has to be about 10-20 internets. And the seller has to post screenshots of it first (i wanted to make shure it was okashii [funny]). And it would have been nice if it came with matching Ascii Art (WITH witty comments). OH! and it CANNOT have had any weeaboo text, or been made up. It has to be made of real-life experiences, or something like that. Also it would have be nice if it was made in japan. and not in china or corea (korea) or whatever. I have found a kopipe similar to the one im describing in 4chan, but it was 1 bun, and i didnt want my tsuri (trolling) to touch my other posts (it can get wet and i would not like that, plus 2 compartments is more okashii).

Okay so I smoked a cigarette to calm down a bit and get that "buzz" so that I'd feel better, after a few minutes of waiting there was only about 5 people left waiting to go inside. I got in line and was quickly inside, there I was told by a security guard to take out everything from my pockets and put it in a tray, the whole time the guard was glaring at me (probably my appearance and the shirt hanging over my shoulder...) when I got to my cigarettes I swear he lifted one of his eyebrows and I imagined him going "hoh..."...fuck. I'm only 19 so I can't buy cigarettes combined with my addict appearance, ohhh dammit. So I put the tray into that machine that turns.. like the ones used in airports. And I had to go through one of those metal detectors, I wasn't worried, but it went off anyway. What the fuck could I have had that made it go off? Well another guard came up with one of those hand-held metal detectors and started looking for it. but it didn't go off. So then he just started feeling me up and said that it was probably just my necklace. So I turned to the other guard he's standing there with the cigarettes in his hand and he says to me "How old are you ,son?" 19 sir... And he just glared at me and put them back in the tray and gave me a frightening look. I was still feeling buzzed from the cigarette earlier so I didn't break down, but nonetheless it was scary.

Megaman: I have seen this city a thousand times. Through the glass twenty stories high,
I have watched this city burn. If everything that you said is true,
there is no hope someday they will learn. But if I stay here with you, then I will never know the truth

Do not say this is how it has to be.

As I walk through the city streets, these frightened people watching me pass;
there is an evil that holds them here, yet they won't try breaking its grasp.
But if I stay here with you, then I will leave them to their doom

Do not say this is how it has to be.
You do no better than the fools of this burning city.

Dr. Light: You have heard me tell this story
Many times before you sleep
No matter how dark this City gets...
Even now, there's hope for man

Megaman: Even here it is not safe
Even this grave has been defaced
Someone has written on this stone
In some angry hand

Hope rides alone.
Hope rides alone.
Hope rides alone.

Megaman: Do not say this is how it has to be
You do no better than the fools of this burning city.

And as I live
There is no evil that will stand
I will finish
What was started: The fight of Protoman

Loudspeaker: We have control
We keep you safe
We are your hope.
We have control
We keep you safe
We are your hope

Human Choir: We have control
We keep you safe
We are your hope

We don't need no indirection
We don't need no flow control
No data typing or declarations
Hey! did you leave the lists alone?
Chorus:
Oh No. It's just a pure LISP function call.

We don't need no compilation
We don't need no load control
No link edit for external bindings
Hey! did you leave that source alone?
(Chorus)

We don't need no side-effecting
We don't need no flow control
No global variables for execution
Hey! did you leave the args alone?
(Chorus)

We don't need no allocation
We don't need no special-nodes
No dark bit-flipping for debugging
Hey! did you leave those bits alone?
(Chorus)
-- "Another Glitch in the Call", a la Pink Floyd

That’s it. I’m sick of all this “Masterwork Bastard Sword” bullshit that’s going on in the d20 system right now. Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I’m talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that’s about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.

Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.

Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I’m pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.

Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That’s right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Katanas:

(One-Handed Exotic Weapon)

1d12 Damage
19-20 x4 Crit
+2 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork

(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon)

2d10 Damage
17-20 x4 Crit
+5 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork

Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Katanas in real life, don’t you think?

"Animated," he said.

This prayer the holy saurian didst impart upon his loyal followers,

the seventh hour of the fourth day of the eleventh month, during

the festival of loli-worship.

The prayer of RaptorJesus:

Our Raptor,

Who art in /h/eaven,

shopped be Thy face;

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG developed by a bunch of monkeys.

Right away you'll notice Chess has no storyline. Instead, all you notice is the the White army and the Black army are fighting each other over a battlefield. Note the "a battlefield," because Chess only has one story map.

As for the actual combat, it's extremely dull. Each unit can kill another with only one hit. This means units with a real good movement ability dominate the field (more on that bellow). There aren't even any combat animations or anything that happens in combat. One unit moves on it's space and "captures" it, and the piece is removed from the game with no form of action or special effects.

Yawn.

Chess has shitty class balance. The Queen is flat out overpowered while your actual front line units, the Pawns. can't do shit. I think the developers were afraid that no one would use the female character so they buffed up her abilities really high but now theres no point in using any other unit.

The rest of the units suck. Rooks can only move in 4 directions, same with Bishops. Boring. Also, whats up with the Knight? It has the most bizzare combat abilities of all the units. They're retardly hard to use cause they jump around like retards to move and attack. The devs should have named this unit Ninja, since Knights didn't jump around like that in real life.

Worst part, is the king. You see, the devs decided that if your king gets captured, you instantly lose the game. W-T-F? This wouldn't be a problem, except that he can't move for crap. Seriously, the most important unit in the game can only move 1 space a turn? Good luck keeping him alive while every other unit in the game dances around him.

Unbalanced classes, lackluster gameplay, and not to mention repetitive 1 hour+ games. Chess is not worth the time or your money. Buy Final Fantasy Tactics or Disgaea instead.

3 out of 10.

So there I was in Little Ceasars getting some crazy bread and cheese sauce, when I look over at my girlfriend who's sitting down, apparently unphased by how much her shirt is hanging down and how much her titties are showing.

"Jesus christ, cover your tits up."
"I can do what I want."

Upon hearing this, the giant negra in line next to me turns to face me, makes eye contact, turns to look my girlfriend in the face, lowers her gaze to her tits, looks back at her face, looks towards me, I smile and nod, and he goes back to ordering.

She got offended I didn't do anything but hey, fuck that. I'll share.

Seriously, anyone who goes and needs to re-look their life.

Especially if you masturbate to the "porn" on there.

Now, I'm not the type of guy who discriminates against hentai... but when it comes to child pornography from children's programming then that's just crossing the line.

The memes aren't funny (with a few exceptions). They're only funny to people with an IQ of 21... and an age of 8.

People need to really re-think of what's funny on the Internet if they think a Black Face firing a laser from its mouth is the funniest thing in the world.

So please, if you're a /b/tard or whatever it's called anyway. You're pathetic and pitiful.

Imagine that you are alone in the universe. And imagi∵e tha∵ ∴∵∴∵∵e∴∵∴ a∴∵∴e∵∴∵∴∵w∴∵∴ ∴∵∴∵∴∵∴ ∵∵∴∵∴∵∴∵ ∴∵∴∵∴∵ ∴∵∵∴∵∴∵∴∵ ∴∵∴∵∴∵∴ ∵∵∴ ∵∴∵∴∵ ∴∵ ∴∵∴∵∴∵∵∴∵ ∴∵∴∵ ∴∵. T∴∵s is what ta∵asinn ∵s like.

We were talking about this with a friend earlier: WHY ARE HUMAN GIRLS SO ANGRY AT YOUKAI?

and we came up with this answer: they're jealous!

Let's see why:

* 1) They have awesome resistance to physical damage
* 2) They are more fit, they can outfly any human female anytime
* 3) They got waaaay stronger danmaku
* 4) They know how to treat a man better
* 5) They can take care of themselves. humans have forgot how to live without a society
* 6) They got specialities. They can gap, read minds, create universes, nuke things, you name it!
* 7) A youkai male wouldn't date a human girl. On the other hand, human men would drop their human girlfriend anytime for a youkai girl if given the chance
* 8) They're simply cooler. Admit it, maybe it wasn't the case some 2000 years ago, but nowadays being with a human gf sucks whereas being with a youkai gf is cool as hell
* 9) They got a sense of what family is about
* 10) They are amaaazing in bed

I could be going on and on and on but you get the point by now

We know we are not going back :)

Dark/black pantyhose/stockings compliment you legs and make them look thinner. If you can find a pair of heels as well and combine the two they will really help make your legs look more feminine. It's a common trick that most women use. Covering your legs with pantyhose/stockings also remove most/all problems regarding skin and shaving.

So while everyone else finished giving their answers, I sat there in my shame. Then it was the lawyers' turn to do some questioning of their own. First was Kenshin she asked the other jurors things like "are you easily fooled?" and bullshit questions like that. Then she got to me. She asked me what I'm doing while waiting to go to college. Fuck fuck fuck. At that moment everything went into slow motion and everyone's eyes were on me. I couldn't come up with anything and simply said "...nothing really" Oh. So then you're a little young aren't you? "Yeah." Have you ever drank before? "No ma'am" Ah. I assume you don't smoke either? (oh fuck, did she see me?) Uhh. No ma'am. (what a terrible lie, I'm sure I smelled a little like cigarettes) Well, what do you think of drunk driving? Then the judge stopped her and said her time was up. It was the defendant's turn and she asked bullshit questions as well like "Can you remember things easily?" Basically they asked seemingly off-topic questions.

Okay, I'm going to end every Elfen Lied thread ever.
First, its pronounced Elfen Leed, as in rhymes with "Reed".

Secondly, it has essentially no comprehensible storyline, ancient horned savants whose horns look like cat ears are awakened by a mad scientist, and intend to destroy the world.
Except the protagonist doesn't even try to stop them. So they basically do.

Before that, though, it tons of unnecesary gore, and poorly delivered fanservice. In fact, the fanservice is basically the only reason to read the manga. Don't ever, ever, ever watch the anime, as they took out or changed all the best fanservice scenes, and as I previously stated, this is the only reason to read the mango.
There is indeed a scene in which one of the love interests is on the protagonist's lap "Because it's cold and rainy outside," and whilst the protagonist settles into position, the girl slides down his leg and is stimulated. After this, she for some reason NEEDS to take off her wet panties just then, so she bids the protagonist to turn around, who of course turns back around only to see the girl fallen over accidentally, spread open. At that same moment, the other members of the harem arrive, wonders ensue, etc etc.

Rinse and repeat this harem fanservice cycle about 400 times with a shitty contrived 2-D storyline and needless gore. If this sounds awesome, then read the mango. If this sounds like a terrible waste of time, then skip on by.

HI,

Not too sure where to start but I'm a 24 year old male with a VERY humiliating problem (at least to me). My PENIS farts. This is what my latest girlfriend called it. Although she says it's the cutest and sexiest thing she's ever seen, I cant begin to express how embarrassing this is to me.

It can be anything from a soft wet whistling sound to a very loud popping or air escaping quickly sound. Yes, just like regular fart but much higher pitched and can be about 5x as loud. (coming out of a smaller hole, I guess). During a typical hand job my PENIS can fart up to 30 times. My girlfriend seems to love it but I feel like crying. The gentlest squeeze especially at the base can elicit a fart but the worst is when I orgasm.

This is not a health issue as I've been doing this all me life. It doesn't hurt, in fact the vibrations alone can initiate an orgasm. Just humiliating. Most women don't say anything, some laugh but every girl who has witnessed this seems to be mesmerized by it.

I know women like confident men but I just cannot seem to get comfortable with this and I feel it is ruining my life. Girls talk and I feel like the talk of the town. High school was a nightmare.

My question is: Are my the only one. Has anyone else experienced this? I've checked books, done internet searches etc., but can't find anything related to my problem. I don't feel that I can cure the problem but how can I be more comfortable with it.

How would you feel if you met a man who was attractive, kind, sensitive and sincere but PENIS farted?

Sorry if I was being too graphic but I felt like I finally needed a woman's opinion.

Thank you for your help and concern. Best Wishes

I FUCKING WISH YOU WERE 18 MOTHERFUCKING PUSSY ID COME TO YOUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW AND FUCKING BEAT YOUR ASS. I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD. I GUARANTEE YOU WOULDNT STEP FOOT OUT OF YOUR HOUSE. YOU ARE A FUCKING LONG HAIRED, NO LIFE, PATHETIC, CANT EVEN LOOK SOMEONE IN THE EYES WHEN THEYRE TALKING TO YOU, BITCH. THAT SHOWS YOU HAVE NO BALLS. YET YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT MY ASS, I DONT THINK IM A GREAT FIGHTER, BUT I GUARANTEE IVE BEEN IN MORE FIGHTS THAN YOU AND I WOULDNT HAVE TO TRY TO KICK THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF YOU. ALSO HAVE FUN FUCKING THAT FAT UGLY BITCH, WHATS HER NAME JESS, SHES FUCKIN HIDIOUS. NOW I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU, BECAUSE I WILL PISS YOU OFF ENOUGH TO HIT ME, THAN I WILL BEAT THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF YOU, AND KICK YOU WHEN YOUR DOWN. DONT THINK BECAUSE YOUR TALL PEOPLE WILL BE SCARED OF YOU, SIZE MEANS NOTHING IN A FIGHT, ITS EXPERIENCE. ID SAY YOUR BEST BET IS GOING FOR MY BALLS, LIKE THE LITTLE BITCH THAT YOU ARE, AND BRING A KNIFE, THAN YOU HAVE A CHANCE. YOU CAN ALSO BRING A FRIEND AND ILL KICK BOTH YOUR ASSES AT THE SAME TIME. WOULDNT BE THE FIRST TIME. IM NOT TRYING TO BE TOUGH, I WOULDNT HAVE SAID SHIT, BUT TO SAY SHES DISGUSTING, IS A JOKE WHEN YOU STICK YOUR DICK IN A COMPLETELY HIDEOUS FAT BITCH. I DONT TALK SHIT, I WILL BITCH YOU OUT WHEN I SEE YOU AND YOU WONT DO A FUCKING THING, WHITE TRASH PUSSY.

So while everyone else finished giving their answers, I sat there in my shame. Then it was the lawyers' turn to do some questioning of their own. First was Kenshin she asked the other jurors things like "are you easily fooled?" and bullshit questions like that. Then she got to me. She asked me what I'm doing while waiting to go to college. Fuck fuck fuck. At that moment everything went into slow motion and everyone's eyes were on me. I couldn't come up with anything and simply said "...nothing really" Oh. So then you're a little young aren't you? "Yeah." Have you ever drank before? "No ma'am" Ah. I assume you don't smoke either? (oh fuck, did she see me?) Uhh. No ma'am. (what a terrible lie, I'm sure I smelled a little like cigarettes) Well, what do you think of drunk driving? Then the judge stopped her and said her time was up. It was the defendant's turn and she asked bullshit questions as well like "Can you remember things easily?" Basically they asked seemingly off-topic questions.

You are quickly reaching the edge:
"K...Koakuma, I'm...cumming...ohh..."
"Please...cum...cum a lot..SLURP-SLURP...ummm...." she strokes your dick with her hand and taps the tip with her tongue.
I feel a burning sensation inside me. The heat gathers at my crotch. Every time she moves her tongue, a hot pleasurable sensation seethes up.
"Ummm...ummm...CHAP-CHAP...cum, please cum now...MUMPH-MUMPH..."
She passionately pants and strokes you harder.
"...I can't hold on any longer!!"you say and after a moment later "I'm cumming!!"
Your groin tenses up and your concentrated extract rushes through your gun barrel and shoots out into Koakuma's mouth.

SPLAT-SPLAT-SPLAT!!
"Ahhh...umm...your milk...your thick milk is filling me up...GULP-GULP..."

Mugi awoke in a small room. This was not home. There were no keyboards. No Afternoon Tea Times. She was cold and alone. Terrified, she attempted to get to her feet, before realizing she was chained by her ankle to the wall, and she was in a strange set of clothes. A hand going to her head, she also realized that her hair had been cut short. Tears forming in her eyes, she felt a sickening fear in her stomach. The door suddenly opened, bringing with it an overwhelming stench of brewed coffee.

"...Is my darling Accelerator awake?" Stan Lee asked, standing in the doorway.

"A-Accelerator...?" Mugi asked, confused. "I...my name is Mu-" she screamed. Stan Lee, in an instant, had thrown a cup of something scalding hot onto her. It had gotten all over her thighs and forearms...coffee. She wasn't surprised. Tears freely falling, she struggled to get up once more, chain clinking in resistance.

"Accelerator, you know I don't like it when you struggle!" the man shouted, pain audible in his voice. "...don't be upset. I'll make it all better. I'll get Joey to make me some more coffee after we're finished..." he said, facial features contorted in a manic smile.

Mugi felt a sickening fear in the pit of her stomach. What did he mean by that...? "Please, you have the wrong person! Who am I dressed up as!? My ha-"

I recently came upon 4chan when a friend recommended I visit the sites for a few laughs. I figured "What the hell? I could use some laughs." I must say that when I came on I was disgusted and not amused at all. Why you ask? Because everything on this entire site is literally shit! I mean yes there is funny pictures posted every now and then. But honestly; Do any of you little shits have a life? I mean are you so immature and unintelligant that you find things like cartoon porn and random naked UNDERAGE children funny?

GROW UP! Grow up 4chan. You all seriously need a reality check, You could be doing so many things in the day, yet you all choose to sit around on your fucking fat ugly asses and post pictures and then make sarcastic or idiotic comments like "tits or gtfo" "o rly?" and "Manchester united!".

Get off your fat asses and do something better with your life. I mean all of you obviously have no life or a social life either for that matter. Why? Because your so immature and your the very reason why Mother's go through Depression during pregnancy; and the supposed "girls" that come on here and converse with you are just as much losers are you, they are either fatter then fatty-tan or a term you'd better understand as "A trap".

Well I've put in my two cents, and on a last note, I hope you all one day realize just how much of a loser you are, and honestly kill yourself. I could care less if every single one of you got testicular cancer including the girls and then died naked fat and ugly with a pile of shit and pee oozing from your bowels that excavated due to your death. Grow up Assholes!

"I think that guy said something about the 'land of Java'" Patchouli said in a low voice as they both sat up to find themselves in an empty office cubicle. The sound of mouse clicks and typing could be heard coming from around them.

They cautiously walked towards the opening of the cubicle, which lead to a long, brightly lit hallway that seemed to go on forever.

"Let's find a way out of this place," Koakuma said.

They walked into the cubicle beside the one they respawned in, but it wasn't empty; there was a desk, a computer, and an expressionless, bald man with startingly white skin sat there, staring into the monitor and pressing the keys frantically. They could see he was playing Perfect Cherry Blossom.

Imagine that you are alone in the universe. And imagi∵e tha∵ ∴∵∴∵∵e∴∵∴ a∴∵∴e∵∴∵∴∵w∴∵∴ ∴∵∴∵∴∵∴ ∵∵∴∵∴∵∴∵ ∴∵∴∵∴∵ ∴∵∵∴∵∴∵∴∵ ∴∵∴∵∴∵∴ ∵∵∴ ∵∴∵∴∵ ∴∵ ∴∵∴∵∴∵∵∴∵ ∴∵∴∵ ∴∵. T∴∵s is what ta∵asinn ∵s like.

i bent her over my lap, pushed her down as she struggled. with one hand holding her arms tightly behind her back, and the other giving her the beating of her lifetime i watched as her beautiful freckled face turned red and the tears started forming a small pool on the floor. enough is enough, i layed her on her back and started tearing of her clothes. she tried desperatly to hold on to her clothes so i started slapping her face, again and again. i used up two full rounds of action points just on slaps (and i have the action boy perk and 9 in agility). after that she didnt resist no more. I moved all her clothes to my inventory, they could be useful in repairing my power armor later on. i stroke the back of my hand down from her throat to her legs, which she had crossed. she shivered and made all kinds of wonderful noices as i passed her nipple. i bent down and licked the place where one day many years from now there would be full breasts. she lift her head up, with panic in her eyes. she started struggeling again. not stopping licking i simply used my left hand on her throat, shutting off her air for a couple of seconds. she seemed to get my point and calmed down a little. i grasped her hair tight with my right arm holding her head down against the bed. she shut her eyes hard for a while from the pain, the poor angel must be sensitive in her hair. i moved my left arm, still licking her body, to her legs and separated them. she started making different noices from before, a little more high-pitched and almost pleading. maybe she anticipated what was about to happen. i jammed a finger into her tight pussy, opening it for the first time. the sound effect for that wasn't 100% accuret but it was pretty acceptable.

So now there was about 30 people I would guess (It was still a lot, but nothing compared to the seemingly hundreds from before). We were told to wait and that we'd be called into the actual court room for further instructions. I made my way to a chair off near one of those EXITs where you're not allowed to open the door, you know the emergency only ones? I sat down and closed my eyes relaxing in my new found solitude.. until I heard a noise right next to me, it was that same guy from before dammit. I wanted to get out of there and find a new seat, but I didn't want to be mean either, I felt trapped as he began to chat me up. He started asking me all kinds of things like my age and he'd reply with his own answer as if the question was for both of us. This guy had these really skinny pants and a yellow/orange navy shirt and he was old. I made my mind up that this guy was gay and was hitting on me (old guys are always gay). I wasn't going to hesitate anymore I was about to get up and leave to another area until the the bailiff called out for everyone from 3B. He told us all to take a seat in the court room and pay close attention to the Judge. So in we went. I walked quickly and even cut in front of some people so that I wouldn't have to sit next to the old neckbeard.

I am looking for a kopipe, it can't be Yoshinoya (thats japanese for ramen) or any overused meme. It has to be of 2 or more bun (thats japanese for 2 sentences) and has be be chibi (small) sized. And has to be really okashii (funny). Also It has to be about 10-20 internets. And the seller has to post screenshots of it first (i wanted to make shure it was okashii [funny]). And it would have been nice if it came with matching Ascii Art (WITH witty comments). OH! and it CANNOT have had any weeaboo text, or been made up. It has to be made of real-life experiences, or something like that. Also it would have be nice if it was made in japan. and not in china or corea (korea) or whatever. I have found a kopipe similar to the one im describing in 4chan, but it was 1 bun, and i didnt want my tsuri (trolling) to touch my other posts (it can get wet and i would not like that, plus 2 compartments is more okashii).

Anyways, I was about to start eating, and then the bastard beside me goes "extra-large, with extra sauce."
Who in the world orders extra sauce nowadays, you moron?
I want to ask him, "do you REALLY want to eat it with extra sauce?"
I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour.
Are you sure you don't just want to try saying "extra sauce"?
Coming from a school cafeteria veteran such as myself, the latest trend among us vets is this, extra green onion.
That's right, extra green onion. This is the vet's way of eating.
Extra green onion means more green onion than sauce. But on the other hand the price is a tad higher. This is the key.
And then, it's delicious. This is unbeatable.
However, if you order this then there is danger that you'll be marked by the employees from next time on; it's a double-edged sword.
I can't recommend it to amateurs.
What this all really means, though, is that you, OP, should just stick with today's special.

Dude, when I'm a mom I can only PRAY my child will be gay! xD That way when they finally come out and tell me at first I'll be like o.o *blinkblink* o.o Then suddenly out of nowhere: YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *glomp* *kisses* I'm so happy! You've just made me the happiest mother on the planet! ^.^ Come on sweety lets celebrate by SHOPPING! You'll need some handcuffs, a couple ropes, a whip or two, lots of duck tape and lets not forget latex, sexy, and girly clothes! ^.^ And a couple piercings! One on this ear and maybe two or three on this, oh, and you have to have a lip ring! And let's not forget one on the eyebrow! Ooh, you're gonna need lots of black or purple nail polish! Come on honey, we haven't got all day! I want you to be absolutely ready for when THAT time comes once you get your first boyfriend!

"Now perish!" The Sussman shouted, conjuring a huge pair of parentheses from his wand, which surrounded the group and enveloped them in a closure.

"What do we do now?!?!" Koakuma screamed at Patchouli.
"I don't know!" she shouted angrily in reply as the both of them hammered as hard as they could against the invisible, unyielding walls of the closure.

"I hope you learned your lesson, freaks!" The Sussman exclaimed, as the closure rose up towards the ceiling with the two trapped inside, exploding into a shower of white parentheses as it hit the top. The Sussman returned the wand to his pocket and continued lecturing.

...

"Where... are we?" Koakuma whispered as she opened her eyes to find Patchouli lying next to her.

Dinosaurs are one of the coolest things from my childhood, and I remember all the dinos-- MOTHERFUCKING DINOSAURS, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I FEEL ABOUT THEM? MOTHERFUCKER, I WANT A CUTE LITTLE VELOCIRAPTOR AS A PET, TO CUDDLE UP WITH HIS FEATHERS AND EVERYTHING. I DON'T MEAN A JURASSIC PARK VELOCIRAPTOR EITHER, THAT'S A DIENONYCHUS, I'M TALKING ABOUT A REAL VELOCIRAPTOR. ABOUT THE SIZE OF A CAT, AND IT'S A PACK ANIMAL, SO IT WOULD BE LIKE HAVING A TWO LEGGED DOG COVERED IN FEATHERS. I'D TOTALLY NAME HIM SOMETHING AWESOME, LIKE NATHANIEL OR SOMETHING, AND I'D CARRY HIM AROUND WITH ME, AND MAYBE TEACH HIM TO STAND ON MY SHOULDER, AND ALL THE GIRLS WOULD BE ALL OVER IT, THEY'D BE "OH, ENGARDE, THAT'S A CUTE LITTLE RAPTOR YOU'VE GOT THERE, CAN I PET HIM?" AND I'D BE LIKE, "WELL, SURE YOU CAN, NATHANIEL LIKES BEAUTIFUL WOMEN." AND THEN SHE'D BE ALL BLUSHY, AND WE'D START A MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION ABOUT RAPTORS, BECAUSE WOMEN LOVE DINOSAURS.
I'D HAVE NATHANIEL SIT ON MY DESK AND KEEP ME COMPANY ALL DAY.

Believe it or not, I wasn't always a handsome stud. I used to an anti-social loser like you, until I started Aikido more than a year ago.

In Aikido, you need to communicate to your partner to be successful, my partner was a very talkative person, I couldn't help but open up to him. He's now my best friend, and through him, I lost my old ways and became a man.

1. get the following items from your local Wal-mart.

A water baby (in the girls toy aisle where the lolis roam.) It is a regular looking baby doll with a hollow body that is supposed to be filled with warm water to make the doll all soft and jiggly like a real, no-boned baby.

3 jars of strawberry preserves. (It has to be preserves, jams and jellys don't work as well.

2. Fill the water baby with the strawberry preserves until it just about to bust and dress the baby with the clothes that came with it.

3. The next time someone rides your ass, throw the baby out of your window onto their windshield. The will see a jiggly baby go flying toward them and then explode into a pile of bright red and chunky gore.

4. The driver stops and is traumatized for life or gets in a wreck and dies. Either way, that bitch is off your ass.

in all seriousness.
all complete seriousness, as in: no more memes or witty comebacks.
all of that shit aside, completely serious right now.
if I had a gun with one bullet, and you were standing in front of me.
but next to you, was Hitler, alive again and ready to kill another 7 million or so Jews.
Honestly, I would shoot you. I really would. Why you're even on /b/ is something I really would like to know. I want to know how you managed to stumble into this place, and who told you about this secret place of the internet.

Honestly, you're the sole reason /b/ is full of fail nowadays. It would give me great pleasure to know that before I left, I could at least convince one idiot to leave this place for those with a positive IQ.

So please, in all seriousness, just leave this place and never return

HAHAHAHA
YOU THINK YOURE THOUGH UH ?
I HAVE ONE WORD FOR YOU
THE FORCED ISOLATION OF THE HIKKI
GET IT ?
I DONT THINK SO
YOU DONT KNOW ABOUT MY WAIFU I GUESS ?
SHES 2D
AND IS NAMED ``ALICE''
OK YOU FUQIN ANGERED AN EXPERT NEET
THIS IS /jp/
YOU ARE ALLOWED TO POST HERE ONLY IF YOU HAVE ACHIEVED RONERY
LONELINESS IS ALL ABOUT ``ABSTRACT BULLSHITE'' THAT YOU WILL NEVER COMPREHEND
I HAVE 1CC'D EVERY TOUHOU
IF ITS NOT DONE YOU HAVE TO

The secret of Evangelion is that they took super robot pilots and reversed their genders
if Rei was male, he'd be the awesomely silent/cool/calm guy.
When he rushes that angel with an N2 mine under his arm sacrificing his life ... that is the scene where MANLY TEARS flow for A MAN'S WAY OF LIFE AND DEATH.
Asuka, if a man, would be an awesomely HOT BLOODED pilot. And pervy with his advances on Shinji, but a little tsundere.
And Shinji, as a weak little girl, as a girl, puts it into context. You'd be fapping furiously to Shinjiko every night because of her shy demeanour
And with girl Kaworu, Shinji x Kaworu would be amazingly hot.

Shinjiko has been called to NERV by her estranged father, called to pilot the EVA. She is reluctant, lashes at her father and says why had she been abandoned. Gendo silently orders ManRei to resume piloting. Manrei comes out, arm in cast, bandage over face. He stoically lifts himself from the hospital bed, ready to fight on.

This is the part where your eyes moisten, for this MAN OF MEN will FIGHT TO DIE, Silent to Death, bound to duty

And yet... only a weak little girl abandoned by her father can face the killer angels in his place.

And imagine the reaction to star HOT BLOODED pilot Mansuka, kicking ass and ass kicking angel killer, saving Shinjiko's ass here and there, but she's catching up.

Dear /a/

I have high standards. I want my girlfriend to look like this. As a result, I have never had a girlfriend; not because I'm fat or ugly, but because almost all the asian girls I've ever seen are butt ugly.

But now, I go to school with a hot girl who looks almost exactly like her (cheerleader, pretty smart, half korean half chinese, skinny, tall, etc.) and after an entire semester of working up the courage to talk to her, I did, and here's what happened:

I helped her with a history project, talked to her on AIM a bit, then all of a sudden she started acting cold. I'd try to chit-chat and she'd be like, "does it matter?"; snippy and cutting any attempt at conversation short. I didn't talk to her for about a month, then tried again after another week or so of working up courage and got absolutely shot down in front of some of her friends. Worst experience ever.

Then, a few weeks later, she came up and started talking to me, all friendly-like. After about 2 minutes of small talk she got to the point - she wanted help on her homework. And then I realized. The only reason she fucking talked to me in the first place is because she knew I was smart and wanted help with her schoolwork, and when that purpose was over, she stopped.

Then, a few weeks later, she starts going out with another dorky fucking asian guy. I see them at the movie theater making out. It made me so sick I almost threw up. So my question /a/ is this:

What's the best way to commit suicide?

Okay listen you fuckwit, I'm tired of seeing your shitpost all the time.
FIrst off, you fucking twerp, it's konnichiwa, not Gomenasai.
KO NI CHI FUCKING WA. Gomenasai means sorry.
Second, you're a fucking retard for thinking japanese games are superior in any kind. They're as good and bas as american ones. I also bet your drawings look like shit.
Now, you fucking faggot, let me teach you something about swords.
The best thing your glorious Katana can cut through is a bamboo straw, and NOT FUCKING STEEL. LEARN THAT FOR FUCKS SAKE.And it's folded about 10 times, for a total 800 kayers at fucking most. Nobody's gonna sit 5 years in his room and polish a rod, exept you maybe because you can't get any pussy.
Now, you're telling me that you know stuff about japanese history. HA HA FUCKING HA FAGGOT. You couldn'T even get a proper Kana if your life depended on it, not like it's worth anything. No fucking one wears a goddamn Kimono in the streets, you retarded fuckwit.
Go on, move to Japan, get laughed at by fucking everyone, I might just fly with you to have a seat in the front row when your spirit is shattered to a thousand bits. No one is gonna like an acne-ridden wannabe-japanese who doesn't know shit about the culture he so disgustingly admires.

Now, kindly fuck off and die, you scum of the earth.

Dinosaurs are one of the coolest things from my childhood, and I remember all the dinos-- MOTHERFUCKING DINOSAURS, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I FEEL ABOUT THEM? MOTHERFUCKER, I WANT A CUTE LITTLE VELOCIRAPTOR AS A PET, TO CUDDLE UP WITH HIS FEATHERS AND EVERYTHING. I DON'T MEAN A JURASSIC PARK VELOCIRAPTOR EITHER, THAT'S A DIENONYCHUS, I'M TALKING ABOUT A REAL VELOCIRAPTOR. ABOUT THE SIZE OF A CAT, AND IT'S A PACK ANIMAL, SO IT WOULD BE LIKE HAVING A TWO LEGGED DOG COVERED IN FEATHERS. I'D TOTALLY NAME HIM SOMETHING AWESOME, LIKE NATHANIEL OR SOMETHING, AND I'D CARRY HIM AROUND WITH ME, AND MAYBE TEACH HIM TO STAND ON MY SHOULDER, AND ALL THE GIRLS WOULD BE ALL OVER IT, THEY'D BE "OH, ENGARDE, THAT'S A CUTE LITTLE RAPTOR YOU'VE GOT THERE, CAN I PET HIM?" AND I'D BE LIKE, "WELL, SURE YOU CAN, NATHANIEL LIKES BEAUTIFUL WOMEN." AND THEN SHE'D BE ALL BLUSHY, AND WE'D START A MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION ABOUT RAPTORS, BECAUSE WOMEN LOVE DINOSAURS.
I'D HAVE NATHANIEL SIT ON MY DESK AND KEEP ME COMPANY ALL DAY.

Do you need CP?
Do you need to download everything as fast as possible for some unexplainable reason?
Do you have a shitty ISP that forcibly rapes you for exceeding bandwidth usage?
Are you paranoid and delusional?
Do you want people to think you are a hacker?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, usenet is for you. otherwise just use torrents.

Picture in your mind a massive yellow phone book.

In this phone book is a name, number and address for every human being alive, that has ever lived, and ever will live, along with an equivalent number of pages in the business directory.

This phone book is on an old wooden table in a concrete room with no doors or windows.

You are trapped in the room and have a compulsion to read the phone book. You have now read through it cover-to-cover five-thousand, seven-hundred, thirty-one times. Your hands are pale from the lack of sunlight. Your hands are covered in scars from paper cuts. Your hands resemble the surface of Europa. You reach for the phone book one more time and flip through the pages like a picture book. As you flip through the pages at high-speed, the names and numbers form an image of yourself, staring back at you with a corrupted smile. The skin on your hands is now in shreds, the razor edges of the phone book having revealed bare bone, to which you are oblivious as you watch images dance on thin, colored-coded pages.

You have now flipped through the book eleven-thousand, eight-hundred, sixty-eight times.

This is what tanasinn is like.

Have some love handles that you would love to get rid of?

There is a way. A quick way.

Aikido.

You will be down to 10% body fat by the forth month, while learning the most effective martial arts at the same time. I used to have fat around my stomach area, did Aikido, now my six pack can be seen by all the ladies.

Become fit and kick ass at the same time.

Picture your consciousness as a galaxy of stars, revolving around a supermassive black hole, the gravity of which anchors it in reality.

Now, imagine that supermassive black hole swelling enormously in size, growing and expanding until it devours all the stars in the entire galaxy.

This is what tanasinn is like.

I, like many of you, suffer from problems. My problems don't involve any of your implausible ones, but mine are worth voicing to you in hope of getting some advice.
Anyways, I began to play Final Fantasy 4 about a month ago, and as I dove deeper and deeper into the game, the more and more I fapped to hentai of it. I continued to do so until the last fight.
Then I played the game again...and again... and again... I found myself checking out Rydia every on-screen moment she had. I began to stop going to my regular sites just to look at hentai of one person: Rydia.
I eventually had 1000s of pictures and some doujins of Rydia. I began to spend what others called absurd amounts of money on merchandise, and my apartment is coated with Rydia everywhere.
I've shut myself off from family and friends and felt an urge to just snuggle with my Rydia dolls.. Rydia is all I need. She probably wouldn't like the way my family is or how my friends behave.
I'm in love with Rydia. I keep praying that she'll come to see me one day and decide to live with me. I have nothing left to live for but Rydia. I know she can hear me, so I always talk to her telling her to come and visit me so our union can take place.
So, this is where you guys come into the picture. You're an all-purpose advice board. You definitely must know a way to help Rydia break free from behind her glass prison.
Please help! She's my perfect girl, and she's longing for me as much as I long for her.

She began to kiss me through the cloth. Her left hand reached up behind me and slipped in through my left leg hole.

Frost and winter return to my eyes
The call of the wintermoon

I was beginning to have trouble concentrating.

The call of... the call of the wintermoon

She pushed me backwards onto the bed, and began to climb up on top of me.

Nocturnal clouds blows freely in the distance
In the grey mist of deaths horizon

She pulled my shirt up over my head, rubbing her body along the length of mine.

My winterwings of evil sleeps
In deaths cold crypts of snow

She bit my ear. I hesitated for a moment. "Keep singing", she said.

Buried beneath the mountains of frost
Years of silent sorrow grim and dark

By this point, we were both completely naked. I couldn't recall how this had happened.

Into eternal nights
Hearing the call of the wintermoon

Suddenly the door swung open and some girl in a white shirt and black mini skirt and suspenders and another in a green top and short shorts burst in, talking and laughing. My girl screamed and fell off the bed.

Hearing the call of the wintermoon

the call of the wintermoon...
And that's how Curry was born

Together, they headed for the elevator as the crowd of undergraduates, graduate students, and administrators who had gathered (no faculty members, since they wouldn't have wanted to be seen at a gathering where students would be present) gaped speechlessly. They got off at the seventh floor and Richard directed them towards a corner office.

"Don't worry, Professor mumble mumble won't be here for the rest of the afternoon," said Richard, who still had managed to make those fudge wafers last for four floors.

As they settled at opposite ends of the black leather couch that occupied a small portion of the office, Eric looked at Richard.

"You looked better with short hair," he said.

"Well, you looked better before you gained that 30 pounds," said Richard.

"It's all muscle," he said, and they both laughed. Then they were silent.

Eric broke the silence. "Open-source software, free software, why did we let such distinctions of terminology divide us so? Linux has been such a huge success and we've both contributed to that. We have more similarities than differences."

"That's GNU/Linux, Eric, and you ought to know why as well as anybody. Why, the Linux operating system would be completely nonfunctional without the many software utilities contributed by volunteers for the GNU project, including--"

"Richard, Richard. You're not talking to a journalist. You're talking to me. The only man you ever loved."