/jp/ - Otaku Culture

No, she hates humans.

If she picks up the bill.

hwo do i kno she is not tryin to trell me

Sounds like a lot of unnecessary stress

only if i fuck her after

>>10635567
translate it weeb

>>10635575
"Thanks for the grub, weeb. Now take me home"

>>10635518
only if we fuck after

>>10635537
This. I probably wouldn't go with her even she asked ME. Unless she threatened to hurt me if I didn't go or something.

>>10635567
You ruined it. Pregnant women are truly disgusting.

>>10635587
Stupid, try harder next time.

No. Her boobs are too big and she has too many curves.
Also too old.

>>10635520
I would let she eat my dick

>>10635599
fuck you I'm not here to please you

>>10635610
Yes you are.

>>10635587
I thought that Yukari's date ended in her stomach.

Only if she is shorter than me. Heels only makes it worse.

>>10635518
OH GOD YES!

>>10635622
Yukari is around 5' 7"

Would you take responsibility and raise my child?

>>10635518
Who's the artist of this? I've seen his Touhou Race Queen series

>>10635622
Don't you want her to carry you bride style?

>>10635645
fakepucco

>>10635650
I don't remember having sex with you missy.

>>10635642
How terrifying. With heels she'll probably be 4 or 5 inches taller than me.

>>10635611
No!

Please don't sexualize Yukari.

>>10635662
you're short for her, try with another 2hu.

hey guys is it true that Maribel Hearn is Yukari?

>>10635662
Yukari doesn't like manlets, give up
She'll eat you alive dude

>>10635662
Holy shit you are a short.

>>10635518
I don't know.

I think we wouldn't have much to talk about.

I also find large breasts very distracting.

>>10635685
Nope. Reimu is Yukari.

>>10635650
only if it's mine

>>10635691
Talk about trolling. She'd be down with that shit.

>>10635691
first rule, not see Yukari's boobs.

>>10635708
second rule hide your boner from her

>>10635650
That feel when you get Yukari hooked on meth, get her pregnant, and then run off because she's not worth shit.

>>10635714
I don't think you know who you're dealing with.

>>10635714
She'll gap you back

>>10635714
i did that your mom, and thats how you were born
guess she never told you that, huh, son?:)

>>10635714
oh my

I'd rather date Mononobe and treat her with some fast food. Because she's cute, and this is cheap and tasty (Especially after ~1500 years of absence).

>>10635743

Why is her left eye so much bigger than the other one?

>>10635743
You won't be getting laid

>>10635743
please keep your filthy taoist scum out from Yakumo-sama thread.

>>10635743
It's yours.

>>10635779
Prove it

>>10635779
Get that silly hat off my child before I smack it off!

>>10635779
who did he get that autism from

>>10635796
She was born with it.
>>10635779
see >>10635743
>~1500 years of absence
Take responsibility.

>>10635804
No bully.

I'd rather take Ran. I don't want to take Chen because I don't know what kids like.

>>10635779
ok

I would. I take her to a tea house. She has to drive to the avenue though, because I don't have a car. We park somewhere nearby and walk the distance to the tea house. The avenue is wide and not many cars pass by. Most people park away from it so they can walk through the gardens and window shop. Yukari tries to show me she's not the typical girl and tries her hardest not to pay attention to what's on display in the shop's windows, but then she sees a cute purple frilly dress and all her efforts would go to waste as she instinctively runs towards the window and gawks at the dress. She realizes what she's just done and jumps back, startled, her face as red as Chen's dress. She apologizes and I smile and tell her not to worry.

We finally reach the tea house. The smell of cooked pastry blends with the various tea herbs on display. The waiters dress sharply and carry themselves with pomp, in a salon of wooden pavement and restored Victorian-era furniture: comfy pillowed chairs and tables covered with embroidered cloth. Such refined atmosphere has made this tea house famed as the most refined shop in town. Luckily I made a reservation the day before so we don't need to wait for a table. We sit down and make our orders. I ask for croissants and many different types of jam to spread on them, with lemon tea on the side. Yukari asks for black tea and nothing else. She notices my puzzled look and, reaching one hand to her chest, she proudly states she's on a diet. I carelessly tell her she looks great the say she looks and that she needs no diet. Her proud, sure exterior breaks as the hand on her chest moves to her face to cover her blushing. She stutters a thank you while I smile at her reaction, finding it cute but clueless to why she did it.

>>10635998
I get an idea and excuse myself for the bathroom. On my way there I peek back at our table to see if Yukari is watching me. Realizing she isn't, I quickly leave the tea house through the back door and run to the shop from earlier. I buy the dress Yukari gawked at and ask to have it wrapped as a gift. I run back to the tea house and enter the bathroom to wash my sweaty face with a stream of cold water. Then I return to our table with the gift in my hand.

She notices the gift with surprise. She asks me what is it, if it's for her, if she can open it. I answer it's a secret, it's for her and she can only open it after we're back to her place. She says that's unfair and calls me mean for getting a gift all of a sudden that she can't open right away. I tell her she has to be patient.

>>10636006
A waiter arrives with our orders on a platter. I start eating the croissants while Yukari takes her time with her tea, waiting for it to cool down. We start talking about the usual stuff but there's obviously something else on her mind that becomes that much more noticeable as the number of croissants on the platter goes lower. As I reach for the last croissant, she let's out a gasp, reaching her hand forward as if trying to reach the croissant but stopping herself half-way. I take her hand and close it between mine. Her other hand joins and I look at her. She looks away, embarrassed. I reprimand her. If she wanted some she should have said it. She doesn't need a diet to make me happy. I like her the way she is right now. She blushes again, her eyes are bright. She forces her hands away from my grasp and hides her face. After a long pause, she asks me with a weirdly calm voice if she can have the last croissant. I laugh and tell her she can't. She uncovers her face and pouts, unable to understand how she cannot have the last croissant after everything I just told her. I call the waiter and ask for more croissants. Her pout turns into a glowing smile.

>>10636013
After our date we make the way back to her car. She holds tightly to my arm the whole way. She tells me I have a beautiful delicate body. I retort that's not exactly the kind of compliment a guy would like. She laughs a crafty laugh and says it's about time she's the one doing the teasing. We pass by the store and she notices the purple dress on display again. She pretends to be a detective and declares she has concluded the mysterious gift isn't her coveted dress. Little does she know it's not the only similar dress for sale on that shop.

>>10636020
We reach her car and she drives me to her place. We don't speak much the whole ride, instead listening to the radio. When she stops the car at her place and we leave the car I hand her the gift. It's in a box so she can't really tell what's inside. She unwraps it hurriedly. She opens the box and her whole body stops in time. She ever so slowly draws an euphoric smile on her face and tackle hugs me with glee. She frantically kisses my face while giving me her thanks. She holds my hand and runs to her place, leading me inside. She pushes me against her sofa and falls on top of me. We make out. We stop for a moment. She rests her head on my chest. I make an effort not to show she's heavy for my frame. She looks up with a grin. She reminds herself out loud I have a delicate body. She makes us roll over as I protest and I end up on top of her, resting my face against her breast. She twirls my hair between her fingertips and thanks me for the best date she ever had. How I treated her like a real girl -- and made her feel like one -- even though she is a powerful youkai. Even reality-warping all-mighty youkai have a maiden's heart. She lets out a squee and squeezes me tight against her, my head buried between her breasts, squealing how cute I am.

I would tell you how the rest of the night would go, but a gentleman never reveals that kind of details.

>>10635518
The classiest of date. We go to places on a limo, dine at fine dining, going to the ballroom, A classy date for a classy girl

>>10635998
>>10636006
>>10636013
>>10636020
This isn't in character for Yukari. Sorry.

When does she eat you

>>10635998
>tfw you write thousand word stories about your favorite character and afterwards you feel empty since you'll never see their smile unless it's a dream

>>10636033
That's why it's fiction!

Sex on a first date? What a whore.

>>10636035
Please do not misuse the quoting feature. Do not post undecipherable text outside of /b/.

>>10636034
she gaps you inside of her as a joke

>>10636047
How do you know you could decipher this in /b/ unless you are a frequent visitor?

Yukari isn't my kind of lady. I'd rather keep any relationship we have formal.

>>10636035
dream about Yukari are my best dreams,

except that time when she tried to kill me.

No. I don't like blondes. No racist.

Marisa is ok though

>>10636059
It's in the rules to keep undecipherable text in /b/. I think they have a code-breaking algorithm that deciphers the text. I have no idea why they haven't put that feature on the rest of the boards.

i would let her step on my penis

>>10635998
>>10636006
>>10636013
>>10636020
>>10636029
That was very nice. Well done.

Helping an old woman crossing the road is okay but dating her? No sir I don't like.

>>10636080
> I think they have a code-breaking algorithm that deciphers the text.

Then it is not indecipherable and thus is allowed outside of /b/.

>>10636106
It is decipherable only in /b/, thus it's allowed only there.

>>10636116
But that is patently false -- I can decipher it, and this is not /b/.

>>10636121
Get the fuck out cross/b/oarder.

>>10636134
Are you okay? It's not normal to be this angry over someone's reading comprehension.

keep your autism out of the thread you fucking retard. you're off-topic and worse than anybody greentexting.

>>10636035
Please don't misuse quotes.

>>10636186
*whips out dick*

>>10635998
>>10636006
>>10636013
>>10636020
>>10636029
dude that was beautiful, you made me cry

will she be ok with a man like me?

>>10635518
Nope, i'm taking the best Yakumo on a date

>>10638381

Mikohair

>>10635518
too old and lewd
i only date pure girls like Chen

>>10638381
agreed

would definitely NOT date yukari. cougars like her tend to have extravagantly expensive tastes.

>>10638590
I would go broke for her.

>>10635518
No, but I would a Patche.

>>10636035
I laughed at that feely man, his face looks funny.

>>10638941

Oh god pacery I want to copulate so bad

>>10638941
>>10639029
I want to lick the inside of her slippers.

>>10639033

I just want coitus while holding hands

Maybe kiss a little...

Gap sex

>>10635743
Cheapskate.

>>10639059

>>10639083

>>10635743
fast food? way to kill the mood

Yakumo-sama is in no way as you /jp/sies describe with your crud and lewd ways

I would date her if it was her desire but only because she asked me, I do not have any unwanted sexual desire for her I would be whatever she needed me to be

Sure, why wouldn't you take a cute seventeen year old on a date?

No true /jp/er would ever go on a date

>>10639276

Tru/jp/ers don't leave their mother's womb.

>>10639276
even if his date is a 2hu?

>>10639318
I tried to stay but they sliced me out of her belly after a little over a week

>>10639324

Figures. All doctors are normals.

>>10639324
Me too. I tried to fight and scream but then they hit me.

>>10639276

You're mostly right, but exceptions can be made for touhous.

I don't think I could afford Yukari's tastes though.

But she's a Youkai, Youkais have no feelings

>>10639998
Lies.

>>10639397
Why do you guys assume Yukari is expensive? She doesn't seem to care all that much about modern convenience.

Not to mention if she ever wants something all she has to do is gap it to her. She is beyond money.

>>10639998
I wonder if she has ever been afraid in his life

>>10640018
she's a classy lady, i would give my life to make her happy

>>10640047
she'd probably be afraid of you're face LMFAO

>>10640018

She's a woman.

>>10640049
Exactly, she's the good classy. The classy that is from an era gone by.

Now the new "classy lady" always has an iphone in her hand with facebook and has a $10,000 pomeranian and dresses like a slut

>>10640069
She isn't a human woman

>>10636035
>thousand word story

Mine's up to about 500 pages at this point. Get with the program motherfucker.

>>10636084
>>10637423
I'm surprised someone even read it.

>>10636035
>1000 word story

Yes i would

bitch don't deserve a date

>>10636035
Only a thousand words?

And why are you stupid enough to think it's not possible?

>>10644267
so flat

>>10635518
yep

>>10644267
What the hell is going on with her panties?

>>10636035
I wrote a 150k-word story about a toohoo that's not even in my top 5. You're small time.

>>10644488
granny panties

>>10644474
...what are you doing to her!?

>>10644604
It's a type of play.
Nothing she couldn't escape if she wanted to.

>>10644618
and why she is crying?,

>>10644728
It's part of the fun.

>>10644618
You can seal powers.

>>10638941
I wonder how her gown smells.
I want to fall asleep with her wearing it.

>>10644732
please don't, Gap-Youkais must be free and lewd.

>>10644752
But beauty breeds lewdness

>>10635518
No, she should be te one to take me, after all, she's got them portals

>>10635649
>tfw too tall for this

>>10635649
Imagine Yukari dropping a funny line to make fun of you. You retort and she goes physical. In the midst of the rough-housing she kisses you passionately. She looks you in the eyes as you blush strongly. She pins you down to the floor and kisses you more, feeling your body with her hands, groping you just as she reaches the sides of your thighs. You let out a moan and she takes you in her arms, light as a feather. You envelop your arms around her neck and look at her with complete submission. She returns the look, confident, crafty, completely in control. You notice you're on your way to her bedroom.

Imagine.

It's going to be a while before she lets me take her on a date. Don't know if she's still...mad...about that...

>>10644907
Thank god i'm short enough to imagine this

>>10644907
i'm not sure on how to feel about this

>>10644907
I don't want to be dominated.

>>10644971
Imagine you don't have a choice in the matter. Imagine you're struggling to get away but your efforts are fruitless against Yukari's strength, who remains elegant and ladylike despite your protests. She giggles, since she knows how to have fun with feisty ones too.

>>10645002
I don't like it.
Unless I get to turn the tables on her latter...

>>10644907
keep going...im getting aroused

>>10644907
I'd tell her no and try to push her away because I'm scared of people knowing about my small penis.

Now you guys know about it.

i am M and S so i would be fine with this

>>10645038
It's up to you to define the boundary of master and servant. Say, I have men intrigued with what I wrote and am controlling their arousal. Yet now they order me to continue. Am I no longer the master? Are they no longer under my control? Who knows what might go through your mind after Yukari's attention shifts into contentment after she feels satisfied. We both know you're not satisfied at all, though, are you?

>>10645065
But that is so cute. I'm sure Yukari would thoroughly enjoy having a whole penis easily sliding in her mouth. It's so much easier to feel it with your tongue compared with a brute long shaft that hardly fits. Yukari is experienced beyond her apparent age. She knows exactly how to make the most out of what you consider your weak points. She is all about skewing concepts, after all!

>>10645083
Interesting thoughts.
...even if she's satisfied and I'm not, I'd still need some big oomph to knock her off balance. I don't think just going "hey, we're not done" would really change roles much.

>>10645099
It's all a matter of creativity. Blunt ones would get back in action to the surprise of an exhausted Yukari. Crafty ones would bring her a sort of karmic justice. Silk works wonders as a rope, did you know?

>>10645117
Can't you do both?
I rarely come into contact with silk. Is it really that strong? Besides, what use is rope when she can gap stuff around?

Why not. It'll probably end up with shenanigans.

>>10645127
Anon, you keep asking for permission! I thought you didn't like being dominated! Would you really think a tired Yukari, fond of long slumbers, who wants you hers, would stop you so easily? Surely she would try negotiation. Using her powers further would only make her more tired and vulnerable, don't you agree?

>>10645143
its almost like in every scenario she is going to rape you... anon is this rigged?

>>10645149
How so? She's at her most vulnerable and you're at an advantage. How is this in any way rigged?

>>10645143
>Anon, you keep asking for permission!
Grrgh...

Yeah, using her powers would tire her out some...but for how much they could screw things up, I don't think it evens out.
Unless...does she have less endurance than I think? You did say exhausted.
...is Yukari the type to keep sexual aids around, or is she more of a purist, all-body king of woman?

>>10645155

>>10644907
at first she fights with me and throws me on the ground.

>>10645002
resistance it futile.

>>10645083
it wouldn't matter if i had a small penis or not

so again i ask.... is this rigged?

>>10635518
Yes.

>>10645155
>How so? She's at her most vulnerable and you're at an advantage. How is this in any way rigged?
A person is most vulnerable when they feel they have the advantage.

>>10645196
I thought you meant your first post in reply to >>10645143.

She wants you, anon. How hard is it for you to realize this? You can say it is rigged, if you consider the feelings of a dominant woman so easily described.

>>10645186
Of course she is exhausted. She has enjoyed you thoroughly. Not only that, she is the kind of girl who sleeps a lot. Entire seasons, in fact. Do you think she does that on a mere whim?

>>10645186
*kind. Damn it.

>>10645220
I did, actually. Interesting.
What about the last question? This is important.

>>10645234
What do you mean by aids?

>>10645127
It doesn't matter how strong it is, she's just playing along.

>>10645212
>mfw someone loves me

>>10645246
Oh, you know, stuff. Drugs and toys and that sort of thing.

>>10645248

Fucking crossboarders get the fuck out

>>10645248
Please do not misuse the quoting feature.

>>10645259

Who are you quoting?

>>10645257
She has toys. She is a fun-loving girl after all! She's not too fond of drugs, though.

Me on the bottom

>>10645266
Hmmm...did I bring drugs with me, I wonder? Probably not. Most people don't keep a bottle of aphrodisiac in their pocket, next to their house keys and wallet. Damn.

Toys can work, though. Could make for a good finisher, if I'm feeling mean. Otherwise can keep whatever area I'm not focusing on entertained; Yukari's got a lot to love, and it's not nice to play favorites.

>>10645287
You're a crafty one yourself! I wonder how you'd perform.

>>10645299
You give me to much credit. I admit, I'm not terrible confidant in my form. I'm no expert in sex or pleasing a woman. An exhausted targ...er, partner counts for a lot.
Think I could still give her a day (and night) to remember. Especially if my dick and brain decide to both think at the same time.

>>10644737
I bet it smells flowery.

>/jp/

Quick tangent. There's this scenario I've had rattling around in my head.

We've got a situation like this conversation is describing. Some mature lady's dominating me, hard, but now the tables have turned and she's tied to the bed. She's still in a dominant mindset, though, taunting me and whatnot. During her turn, there were drugs involved; a bottle of potent aphrodisiacs, just small enough to be held in one hand, that you pour into a little cup and drink. Works for both genders.
So. She's feeling pretty confidant and gutsy, despite the situation. Making remarks about everything I do, taunting me with how much I need restrain her and prepare for the simple act of sex. I serve up a decent dose of aphrodisiac, walk over to her with the cup raised in one hand and the bottle passively in the other.
She rolls her eyes. "Oh, please. You think that's going to be enough? Hm?"
I simply respond, "Yup." Then I quickly swig down the cup, grab and hold open her mouth, and pour the bottle down her throat. The entire bottle, down to the last drop.
And then I watch her haughty confidence melt away in moments, smiling from ear to ear.

I'm sorry, was that to heavy? Did I scare you away?

You assholes, you made me fap to Yukari rape. Now my dick hurts.

>>10645648
Serves you right.

>>10645648
sad panda for a good Yukari rape doujin pls?

>>10645648
With all the nice happy Yukari sex books out there you chose that? That's your own fault.

>>10645202
This is true, heh

>>10635518
Wouldn't a date with Yukari derive into opening gaps to random places and messing with people?

>>10635518
I wouldn't date her because she looks like she would have standards and my idea of a date is getting drunk and playing video games.

Does Yukari have any friends besides Yuyuko?

>>10645788
Suika.

>>10645850
They're friends? Didn't know that.

>>10645788
Me

I bet you didn't know that.

>>10646042
Sure didn't!

Too easy. Give me a real challenge.

>>10645913
Yes. I don't remember where it's said, but they are definitely acquaintance.

>>10645434
I went to sleep. You didn't scare me away.

>>10646835
Oh, ok. Good.

/jp/

>>10647013
You're very clever and you know how to take advantage of the moment. I'm sure anyone would think twice before making you theirs against your will.

Though, I wonder if Yukari didn't already know about this side of you. I wonder if she didn't put herself in that situation so that you could exact vengeance in the lewdest way possible. After all, you're quite dominant as you are but all your efforts to prove it would surely double after being so thoroughly taken advantage of!

>>10647052
>blue eyes

>>10647074
Please do not misuse the quoting function.

>>10647033
Too much bondage, not cute and sexy enough.

>>10647052
Hmmm. So might be intentionally inspiring my sexy, sexy vengeance?
That's no good.

>>10647216
You never know what might happen when you're dealing with a lady like Yukari. Maybe she did, maybe she didn't. Maybe she's too proud and haughty to admit she was taken by surprise and tries to save face by saying she planned it all along?

>>10647382
Oh man, that would be just SCRUMPTIOUS.
Planned it all along, did she? She's a schemer, is she? Well then, I guess I'll have to do something intense things to actually surprise her.
What's her weakness, I wonder? You said she's not fond of drugs.

>>10647391
Oh, anon. I had so much fun speculating with you, but I've gotten a little tired of this game. It's not your fault, I love speculating with other anons but I feel we've dragged this subject for too long...

>>10647433
After all, we've derailed a thread and most likely alienated other anons. We can't have that, can we?

>>10647433
>>10647434
Oh...
That's a real shame...but I understand. Alienating people and derailing threads is no good. Though there's always foolz.
Let me know if you change your mind. Plenty of room to go with this. Got silk ropes to keep her in place and toys to keep her entertained and exhausted, meaning time is not an issue.

I hate how secondaries view Yukari. None of you understand her. "lel classy lood lady :DDD muh dick:DD" just go away holy shit

A good date's gotta impress the other party, right? How can you impress Yukari?

>>10647454
Please do not misuse spoilers.

>>10647434
Your autism killed the thread for me seven hours ago. I go back and still see the two of you. And you're talking like a pair of gays. Daym shame sons.

>>10647461
thats is better than LE old hag XD

would.

Yes, I would. I want to fill her womb with my seed and raise children with her.

I did something wild and typed "Yukari Yakumo Cosplay" in google image. If you can withstand aggression you should try it.

>>10648708
sorry

I'd be her boytoy.

>>10656030

>>10656047

I want to make her ara ara.

>>10656105
Reminds me of Chen for some reason.

>>10656047
that doujin was HELLa hot

she's amazing so yes

>>10663356
isn't she too old to dress like that?

>>10663760

Not when she looks that good.

>>10663760
>>10663761
She's 17.

>>10663780
Fuck off with that shit, it doesn't even have anything to do with Yukari's character, it's just a seiyuu joke that is only tied to her by a retarded fanime that ZUN refuses to acknowledge.

>>10663760
>too old
in perception of humans life, she seems old.
but in Youkai time, with 1200 years old Yukari is relatively young.

>>10647119
Has this one been translated? All I can find are raws.

>>10635518
What kind of date?

I love seeing good threads stick around for days.

Someone post that one picture
You know
That one..

>>10647468
You can't. She pretty much knows everything by just living. She even knows how you taste raw or cooked

Why would I want to go out with a disgusting old hag like her?

>>10645392
Still the best post in the thread.

>>10665452
Why do you consider this a good thread?

>>10666593
I just like it. Lots of discussion, lots of different parts. That short story was especially nice, and I had lots of fun chatting with that one well-spoken anon about dominant Yukari and role-reversal.

>>10665488
The one with the hot BBA shitting all over her grandson and he shits all over her and they have sex in a tub full of shit?

I love that one

>>10665488
Context is important, which picture do you mean?

>>10666630
Me too.

>>10665488
well, I have two version for "that" picture. So, which do you want?, fakepucco or yohane?

>>10667925
N-No, Miss Yukari...

>>10670804
both please

>>10667925
What if I do?

I wonder how Yukari's "kyaa~" sounds like.

>>10676005

Just look at Yuyuko trying to hide her shame. Her body is dead. What does she care if someone sees her naughty bits? Lose the towel already.

>>10676076
It's important.

le epic bump

>>10676005
I hope someone yanks off Yuyuko's towel and exposes her nude body

>>10676076
her body is dead but its still there, and she is still a girlm its natural for her to feel embarassed at someone looking at her ample bust and meaty thighs

>>10680460
How nice of Yukari. She even braided Marisa's hair with one of her ribbons!

>>10680501
The gaps will be there to block the view anyway.

Thanks grandma

This thread was so good, now is time to let it rest

>>10690238
don't wanna

>>10690238
Why wouldn't you want to continue the thread of the best girl in 2hu?

>>10645083
>It's up to you to define the boundary of master and servant.
Why do I think this terminology will come back to haunt me?

>>10692374
8/10 eyebrows
I like it!

>>10692374

Yes...Yakumo-sama

but what of the others I still have 9 that I must attend to

>>10657467
why does she have an erection?

>>10693342
i'd have an erection too if i was yukari