/jp/ - Otaku Culture

What the hell do I get out of the deal? Watching you eat my food?

hell eat more than youre food if u know what i mean ;)

>>10608557
I could do housework like cleaning and cooking if you like.

>>10608562
How much space do you take up?

I have a walk in closet you could use.

>>10608593
please don't use sumitan's pictures for shitty threads like this one

>>10608570
Would I be confined to the closet? I wouldn't take up any space other than existing. It would be nice if I had a computer.

>>10608598
Well, I guess you can leave to use the bathroom or whatever, I just don't want to see you for more than a few minutes a day.

Theres an outlet in there you can plug a computer into.

>>10608603
Can't we talk and do fun things together like video games? I don't want to just be stuck in a box, sorry. Thank you for the offer though, I appreciate it.

Can you pay rent?

>>10608603
Based on the image, I don't think a few minutes a day would cut it for him

u are a normalfag op, fuck off

>>10608617
No, sorry. I don't have any money.

what makes you think theres anybody cute here.

>>10608623
Then you can rot in the streets for all I care.

­

>>10608619
Are you really unironically using "u"?

>>10608632
What makes you think there's anyone NOT cute here besides you?

>>10608615
Well I can understand that position, I guess I wouldnt mind talking with you once a week.

>>10608649
4chan is an 18+ site.

>>10608654

I'm 13.

I also wish I could become a maid for some /jp/sie. I would love to serve them 24/7 but it will never happen. Give up hope OP.

>tfw these threads are torture because it's all a joke but you secretly want to take in a neet girl.
>tfw you're a handsome recluse who can cook.

>>10608667

Wait do you want to be the girl or is it the other way around?

no normalfag?

Yo, dude. If you are going to stalk elementary kids during every afternoon I believe we might have a problem.

>>10608659
Would I be able to live with you?

>>10608667
I didn't intend this thread to be a joke. My parents are trying to kick me out but I don't have any money so I need somewhere to go.

>>10608668
No I want the neet girl.

My masculinity is still intact. I also have a dashing british accent.

>>10608675
So you just want to freeload with someone.

Unless you're willing to pleasure me sexually, get the fuck out.

Come to my house and we can hit up the elementary school when we aren't playing games and being cute together.

>>10608675
The idea is that I live with you as your maid.

>>10608667
I would take in a NEET girl if she had the right personality.

>>10608678
I'd be ok with this.

>>10608675
If your own parents, who are biologically programmed to protect you, are throwing you out, you must be really insufferable.

>>10608678
It depends on what that entails before I could say I was willing to do it.

Girls on the internet already have an ocean of good looking and desperate nerds to choose from. /jp/ is no exception to this. The only girls on /jp/ have loads and loads of cute boys on their Skype and facebook who are willing and ready to drop everything for their needs. You must be extremely ignorant to think a girl on the internet would even give you the time of day. An anonymous nobody who also is a worthless NEET. If you were to find a girl who'd be willing to give you any sort of attention she'd most likely be very bored or an obese abomination. Good luck.

>>10608667
these threads torture me because id like to be friends with someone from jp. i imagine id be easy to talk to and im also 5'4", 106 lbs. so im pretty tiny and young looking but i know its just not a realistic thing to have happen. i just want a friend.

>>10608689
Projecting insecurities: the post

>>10608691
Oblivious: the post

>tfw milk will never move in with you and eat all your food and dress up as touhous for you

>>10608685
Anal.

>>10608692
>sages thread with angry nerd rant
>sits in thread to watch for responses
>replies with bump

made you undo your sage ;]

>>10608693
I could be your internet friend if you like. If by some staggering chance you live near me we could be real-life friends too.

>>10608696
I am so mad bro

>>10608693
Me too, but you need to give us an email to poke at

>>10608550
>All I need is food and basic sanitary conditions.
>basic sanitary conditions.
tough luck op

>>10608695
Please be more specific than that. What would I have to do involving anuses and how often?

>>10608693
I always want to offer my friendship to peopel like this but then I remember that I'm so incredible boring. I have nothing to talk about so I don't even try anymore.

>>10608693
I've always wanted that too. Too bad its hard to tell the true /jp/ers from the normals in disguise.

>>10608704
You would have to penetrate or be penetrated no less than once a day.

>>10608713
Where are you located? Do you have any STDs?

>>10608716
>>10608713
>>10608704
one_guy_converses_with_himself.jpg

I bet your parents are proud.

>>10608718
My parents are very disappointed in me actually.

>>10608713
Would you be able to provide condoms?

>>10608699
id like to be. i havent had someone to talk to other than my brother for years and years.

i wish he was into anything i liked instead of almost nothing.

>>10608723
Yes.

>>10608716
West coast. No.

>>10608689
You retards happen to forget that half of the human race is made of women.

Protip from someone who actually lived with what you would call a cute girl:

The pictures you see of them are cherry picked, if you begin to live together they'll soon lose any shame and unless you're in love with them soon they'll feel like your mother outside these moments you use her body to satisfy your lust, also unlike your mother they don't help at all.

>/jp/ goes to his first job as a "maid".

>>10608725
Do you have an email? I can try being your friend but I'm not very interesting.

>>10608727
In that case I would be willing.

>>10608727
You're on the wrong side of the country for me.

>>10608725
Post an email, I can't be your cute maid, but I can be a friend.

>>10608730
I thought that was the whole point of a woman. Sexual release.

I need someone to put my neet seed in their belly

>>10608734
Where do you live?

>>10608730

Wow, a girlfriend who's like my mom and I get to fuck her? I mean even if I didn't like her just having a girl around the house to have sex with is more than enough of a fair trade off for me.

I fail to see the downsides you are trying to bring up.

>>10608745
I assume it would get old. Even the sex with them would probably get stale after a while and you'd get tired of them leaving a mess or bitching to you about dumb shit.

Am I the only one who imagines getting a bunch of money one day, so you'd buy a biiig house, with a bunch of tiny rooms, and then you could have a bunch of NEETs move in, and live there. And then I'd make them food sometimes

>>10608747
I'm assuming sex is just really good masturbation. How could that get stale?

>>10608730
You retards happen to forget that for every 1 girl there is who spends most of their time on the internet there's a thousand guys. I'm not talking about the real world here, where you can go out to a bar one night and have your pick of drunk sorority sluts. I'm talking about the internet where on any given forum or website there is a handful of girls and hundreds of guys. This is where the term "white-knight" originated from. There would be no white-knights if there was no gender disparity online because almost every lonely faggot could have their own slut. Unfortunately that's not the case and the vast majority of girls prefer to spend their time in shopping malls and stuff like that. Hell, even lazily proclaiming that you're female as anonymous gets droves of replies. Imagine what happens when people actually know for sure that you're a decent looking female online, the flood-gates open.

Please understand what you're talking about before you try to argue with me.

>>10608747

>sex with them would probably get stale

Hahaha no, I don't think you understand the kind of libido I have. I would NEVER start thinking having someone around to fuck would get stale. Maybe when I'm like 70 and my penis doesn't work right.

>>10608750
You're asking the wrong guy

I'm just citing what I see in real life and on tv. People don't seem to want to have sex with the same person over and over.

>>10608749
Please remember, a NEET is for life, not just for Christmas.

>>10608750
I already consider masturbation a chore.

Why is everyone on one coast or the other?
Fucking Texas

>>10608749
Like a homeless shelter?

>>10608749
I imagine that sometimes. I'd order a bunch of pizzas and call them down from their rooms and throw all of the boxes on the floor and make them run up and get their food like a bunch of hungry puppies as I stand and stroke their heads.

>>10608754
I have sex with my hand over and over so I don't see any problem in having sex with the same person over and over.

>>10608753
He means having sex with the same person would get stale if it's just for the sex. You'll probably grow tired and want a new girl soon. That's why people with supermodel wives still cheat

>>10608760
Even if they're in the same coast they're still never close enough. I haven't seen another person close to my city yet.

>>10608767
I'm like an hour from charlotte and a lot of college kids from 4chan seem to live there but I only accept truNEETs

>>10608761
yes
>>10608755
I know
>>10608762
I just want to play board games with them

>>10608761
Homeless people are old and not cute.

>>10608771
See? You can never win.

>>10608736
im sorry, i dont have an email address to post here on the board. i dont want abuse from it or anything. i can only imagine the weird stuff people from here would use it for.

i live in southern california though, 818 area code if anyone was around there.

>>10608764

Yes, even with the same person. I wouldn't enjoy doing it with other than one person I'm really comfortable with anyway. I don't want "hey I'm drunk at a party lets go try to fuck", I want "Honey, I just woke up, can you come let me stick my dick in you".

I honestly think most every supermodel I've ever seen was below a 5/10 for me by the way, professional porn-stars even lower.

What you might consider a "disgusting beast" might be a huge turn-on for me. Honestly personality and behavior makes me more aroused than anything. Add really low self-esteem and clingy/needy behavior, and you've got me.

>>10608788
but what if she got sick of YOU and started fucking some other /jp/sie on the side

>>10608797

Why do you think I get turned on by clingy/neediness and really bad low self-esteem?

Still, knowing that there's a lot of girls pretending to be real /jp/ users, I wonder what happens to them when they get older?
Did they manage to get an offspring somewhere and are now busy raising it since the father probably left?

Too bad there are no girls in here, /jp/ arranged marriages could significantly reduce living space and social security required to keep us alive.

>>10608824
>a lot of girls pretending to be real /jp/ users,

You mean,
>a lot of jp users pretending to be girls

Shits sad. I know they're all secretly ashamed of it.

>>10608744
I live in Europe but that doesn't really matter since I would be living with you.

>>10608834

No, he means the girls that ARE here who just don't dare let on that they're actually girls. (As if it would be believable anyway what with all the "btw im a girl" stuff being a meme, everyone would just assume they're sarcastic)

The guys pretending to be girls have to let you know they're girls to pretend to be girls. We're talking about girls hiding their gender.

>>10608831

>>10608824
Girls don't really live by the same rules as the rest of us. Society is a lot kinder towards them and people go out of their way to help them a lot more.

Most are probably already set up in community college or something and will eventually marry some fat nerd who isn't socially stunted and live off him and his mediocre decent paying job and raise a couple of ugly kids.

>>10608853

>>10608859
>>10608853

>>10608862
I find this quite arousing, though it doesn't really matter.

>>10608859
>dat natty receeding chin
>dem shitty genetics

natty/10

>>10608834
I don't think so.

The old /jp/ was indeed full of *little girls*, that was sort of the point of being for lots of them. But now times has changed, it's common to see girls, usually younger ones & lesbians, lurking on /jp/ for cute touhou materials.

But as I stated, even though I'm well aware of them, I never manage to hear of an older woman still browsing this board, or even 4chan, so I really wonder what's happening out of curiosity.

>>6067105

>>10608873
I don't think it's gross.
I think it looks nice

>>10608870
I fugged one. I met her last year. She was a neet of a couple years, took her virginity. Hook up usually when time allows.

feels good man

>>10608862
I'm sure she's a massive slut but I can't help but like this picture even with her gross looking vagina

>>10608862
I love panty_pull

>>10608862
Do you think it's smelly?

>>10608831
That's actually not a bad idea. Maybe if some of us lived together, we could support each other and move out of parents' basement.

>>10608859
>>10608862
These girls are cute.
I like girls
I don't like boys

>>10608876
Jessi Slaughter doesn't count.

She wanted to go at it ~8 times a day if you had that much free time. Needless to say, I was dried out so much that it was starting to hurt.

I dream everyday about fucking a neet with the power of money, but I'm poor as fuck.

>>10608921
Post your face since that's the part I will be looking at a majority of the time.

>>10608550
>So how would I find a cute /jp/sie to live with if I don't want to deal with a normalfag?

I hate to break it to you, but you'd probably be disappointed with so-called /jp/sies as well.

>>10608911
What about boys that can look like girls. i can look pretty girlish when i put a skirt on.

>>10608921
Anyone can look girlish with a skirt and shaved legs you faggot. Its the rest of you that doesn't fit the picture.

I hate how traps always go for the legs in skirt shot because they have broad shoulders and a manly jaw that makes them look awful.

>>10608911
Would ream her anus.

>>10608921
You have a dick, you don't look girlish.

>>10608927
>have broad shoulders
This is my problem, everything else on me including the face is fine but my shoulders are that of a football player.

>>10608916

Jessi is pretty cute.

Show of hands, who WOULDN'T?

>Canon PowerShot A490
>Image date 1980 wut

Did she take this pic her self?

>>10608921
sorry, I like vaginas.
Or at least, I think I do.
I've never saw one in real life.

>>10608927
I don't know. I don't particularly think I like having the body type to be able to do this. But I don't mind if you're antagonistic for some reason.

We're all just having fun and joking around anyway. Why not join in and have fun with jp until the thread gets deleted.

I would never post my face on 4chan though. Or really, the internet period.

>>10608934
Have you saw a dick other than your own in real life?

>>10608937
I'm sure we've all seen enough porn to know whether we like dicks or pussies.

>>10608934
Maybe you like anus too.

>>10608932
I'd fuck him.

>>10608940
I thought it was all about the feeling, do people actually care for looks? Most vaginas are gross looking but they feel good.

>>10608946
I actually think they can look pretty. Of course, having Arby's roast beef lips isn't going to help.

>>10608932
I took it. She's got derp eyes in this one, and she's wearing my shirt.

>>10608937
I saw my stepdad's dick when he was showering once. It was a lot bigger than my dick is now.

I've also seen a couple of friend's dicks when I was a kid

>>10608946
>they feel good.
How would you know sgt normie?

>>10608948
Any nudes?

>>10608950
She has a vagina that she puts things in

>>10608950
ask ur mum

>>10608952

No sir Mr.FBI, they don't exist.

>>10608955
Fuck off and post them already.

>>10608952
That's against the rules of the board. I got her pretty hooked on sex, though. At this point, it'd be illegal for me; I ducked the bar at 17 years old and managed to vanish before my eighteenth birthday.

Ahh... I wanna fuck Flan-chan.

>>10608955
>they don't exist

>>10608958

You're pretty lucky.

Take good care of slaughter-chan, *WINK WINK* ;)

Look at how fast and off-topic and /soc/ this thread is.

GEE I WONDER IF 90% OF THIS THREAD IS FULL OF PEOPLE WHO AREN'T REGULARS ON /jp/

>>10608952
That's against the rules of the board. I got her pretty hooked on sex, though. At this point, it'd be illegal for me; I ducked the bar at 17 years old and managed to vanish before my eighteenth birthday.

My disappearance was of her own doing anyway. I won't go into detail, but there's a reason she's the way she is now.

>>10608969

You just don't know /jp/ very well, in other words I think you're gnu here.

>>10608970

take THIS rules

>>10608603
Can I take you up on this instead? Thats actually my ideal environment.

>>10608937
No

>>10608916
I just came all over her face in my mind.

>>10608973
That image would be much better if she had a hairy anus. A hairy anus goes great with a dark labia.

>>10608948
What do you guys think it is like to date someone?

>>10608985
Annoying.

>>10608985
Boring, stressful, awkward, not fun, makes you want to go home and masturbate.

>>10608985
I've done it. It really depends on who you're dating.

It can be either; Cheap and rewarding with stimulating conversation, or awful, horribly pricy, and she's a dumb slut who doesn't know fuck about fuck.

I've dealt with the latter quite a few times. Its not worth it, and I stopped doing it. Women are assholes.

>>10608990
I think it must feel really nice. Like having a friend.
Except nicer.

>>10608996
There is no such thing as love that isn't between friends or blood-related family members. Do not let anyone delude you into believing otherwise. You should aim to have a friend you can fuck or even better, you should try to start a sexual relationship with someone in your family, instead of getting a girlfriend.

>>10609005
I want to be really close to someone.
Really close.

>>10609008
You can depend on family and friends far more than you ever can with some slut, no matter how much time you spend with her.

>>10608985
I went on a date before with a cousin's friend.

It was awful. Very awkward and I didn't know what to do and it annoyed me that I had to spend all the gas and money. I bitched about it enough that she actually paid me back for her meal.

It taught me that I'm really not cut out for this whole "love" thing. Probably has to do with I've never really loved anyone. Maybe I should have stuck it out just long enough to lose my virginity.

>>10609013

>it annoyed me that I had to spend all the gas and money. I bitched about it enough

Fucking dumbass, holy shit.

>>10609010
Don't have any family or friends.
I don't see why it's much different from being friends, just more cuddly.

>>10609025
I don't have any friends either, and I don't want any, but surely they'd be better than some stranger. I can't imagine someone you're not related to and you're not friends with ever being any more than some stranger, even if you spent every waking moment with them for twenty years, they'd still be a stranger, they still couldn't be someone you could rely on, unless they were like a friend.

>>10609010
i dont even have friends so i dont know what its like to have someone like that to depend on and to help.

my family are mostly unstable so theyre not always able to be there for me.

>>10608994
It can be cheap, rewarding, and sleepless. If they take up too much of your time, they can get in your way, even if they treat you well (until you try pulling away).

To be honest, this type of girl is best matched with someone who has nothing to do; someone not in education, employment, or training. I wonder what kind of person would fit that description...

>>10608615
Why are you asking about doing things like socializing and playing together when you don't want to live with a normalfag?