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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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10506999 No.10506999[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

>going to movies alone
>at home I get my mom to pack me spaghetti in a 2-liter bottle
>put it in my fanny pack
>decide to take the bus
>i ask the bus driver where the bus is going, he says something I don't understand
>I say "e-excuse me?"
>he says something and I still don't understand it
>I get on the bus anyway
>Bus takes me through the blackest of all ghettos
>a bunch of black people get on the bus, hooting and throwing their arms and fingers into various contortions
>I clutch my fanny pack and look away
>the walk past me and one says "LOOK AT DIS FAT WYTE MUTHAFUCKA, GOTS A RUG ON HIS NECK NIGGA WAT IS UP WIT DAT"
>I turn my entire body away and start shaking
>"AW SHIT WE SEEIN SUM CRACK BACK HEAH"
>my pants are exposing my butt
>the black people take out a boom box and start playing "WOOP THERE IT IS" and start dancing around my buttcrack in some sort of tribal ritual
>"LEMME SEE SUM MORE OF DAT"
>I awkwardly pull down my pants more
>"WOOP DERE IT IS" 'YOOOOO I BE LIKIN DIS!' they variously exclaim
>the bus finally stops at the movie theatre
>I take out a marker and draw a face on my butt, and then walk off the bus with my hands
>all of them follow me with their boom box, playing "WOOP THERE IT IS" on repeat
>I hand-walk inside and the security guard stops me, saying that I need to leave because I am being indecent
>this enrages my black followers and they start attacking and eating the guard
>everyone starts screaming
>i nervously take out my spaghetti bottle and try to open it
>the pressure launches it as a bottle rocket into the cashier, killing her
>i realize I had a crush on her
>start crying uncontrollably and my exposed face-butt starts sputtering shit
>everyone suddenly turns to me in a roar of laughter
>go home alone

>> No.10507002

WHO ARE YOU QUOTING?

>> No.10507009
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10507009

So what ?

>> No.10507011

That's nice, but I can't seem to find the person you are quoting?

>> No.10507012

What kind of fanny pack would be able to hold a 2 liter bottle? Do you have pictures?

>> No.10507018

These greentext stories are progressing the same way trolling transformed into rusing. This is a very interesting social phenomenon.

>> No.10507029

>>10507018
I've seen this one greentext like 50 times already. Its an old one.

>> No.10507037

>>10507029
Why are you on boards that post greentext stories?

>> No.10507049

>>10507037
Why not?

>> No.10507057
File: 111 KB, 600x750, Merry2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10507057

>>10506999
don't use Merry to shitpost. she doesnt deserve it.

>> No.10507063
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10507063

>>10507057

>> No.10507132

>>10507063
being ironic is against the rules.

>> No.10507134

>>10507057
Didn't she have her own shitpost about Vagina Bones or somthing?

>> No.10507144

I find these offensive because I can usually relate to them, then they turn out to be dumb parodies. I've been to the cinema alone, fumbled buying bus tickets, been made fun of by a group of black people... but it was all in real life and not just some zany story I wrote for the internet.

I get that it's fun to make light-hearted jokes about your problems, but when the jokes outweigh the seriousness it becomes upsetting. You should consider the feelings of the people who read these and suffer from real disabilities like social anxiety and Asperger syndrome.

>> No.10507159
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10507159

>>10507144

>> No.10507161

>>10507144
At first they were just embellished stories, but after years they've turned into self-mocking satires.

>> No.10507164

>>10507144
What's wrong with going to the cinema alone?
You watch movies, you're not partying.

>> No.10507172

pity reply

>> No.10507173
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10507173

>>10507063

>> No.10507176
File: 104 KB, 1200x798, 712617-two-girls-laughing-at-a-shared-joke.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10507176

>>10507164
>What's wrong with going to the cinema alone?

Oh god no way can you be this beta.

>> No.10507194

>>10507164
Your pathetic.

>> No.10507198

>>10507144
You're such a fucking loser. When I wanna watch a movie that's out on cinema, I wait until it appears on the internet. Why would I want to watch a western movie anyways? Does your mom threaten you to go to the cinema alone?

>> No.10507199

>>10507176
Please don't troll. I'm always serious.
People genuinely bring their girlfriend to see arthouse movies? I don't get it.

>> No.10507207

>>10507164
I went to the cinema alone to see The Hobbit. The ticket guy was trying to be friendly and when I said I wanted just the one ticket, he asked if I was meeting people in the cinema. I said no and he just said, "Oh," in that sort of shocked/apologetic way people do.

When I was sat down, some teenage girls sat near me. They all went for snacks, and one stayed behind to watch their bags. When the other girls came back, the one who stayed said something like, "I can't believe you just left me here alone! I felt like a right loner!"
Then one of the other girls replied, "Haha, yeah, going to the pictures by yourself!"
One of the girls noticed me and pointed me out to the others in a sort of "shut up dude" kind of way. They all went silent and then giggled/whispered among themselves.

It was all so embarrassing. I wouldn't recommend it if you have any self-awareness or shame.

>> No.10507217

>>10507176
>>10507194
Please don't bully.

>> No.10507219
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10507219

>>10507199
I took a girl to see Amélie (it's a pretty high-brow movie, you've probably never heard of it) and she was so impressed with my taste that she gave me a blowjob during the credits.

>> No.10507225

>>10507144
Am I being meta-trolled?

>> No.10507233
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10507233

>>10507219
>/jp/
>shame
my sides are moving on their own!

>> No.10507240

>>10507207
Do you regret doing it? Would you do it again?

I can never understand why some of you put yourself through such things.

>> No.10507258

>>10507240
Yeah, why the fuck would you watch The Hobbit.

>> No.10507267

>>10507240
I definitely regret it. It was just those little things that you dwell on, and for me they ruined the whole experience (not that the film was particularly good, but I felt awkward through the whole thing).

I would only go again if I could somehow be super anonymous or invisible, like wearing a balaclava or sitting in a private booth.

>> No.10507278

>>10507267
>I would only go again if I could somehow be super anonymous or invisible, like wearing a balaclava or sitting in a private booth.

Like watching at home?

>> No.10507294

>>10507267
I'm glad you learned from the experience. You probably acted on impulse and didn't think everything through, but at least now you've learned your lesson.

This is why I never buy anything in physical stores which I can order from the internet. Sure, I'm going to have to wait several days extra to get it, but this way I avoid a shitload of awkward situations.

>> No.10507327

>>10507278
Exactly. I liked the idea of going to the cinema, though. I like the building and the screen and everything, I just underestimated the social side of things.

>>10507294
I'm the same. Again, I like the "idea" of activities like eating in a restaurant or drinking in a pub, but in practice these things are pretty scary because of all the people and the social rules that govern them. So instead, I have to eat and drink at home, and send family to buy things I want immediately or can't get online.

>>
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