/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Most of these look really fun, specially the english practice.

>>10417155
>>Enjoys motsu nabe until he learns what motsu means (beef tripe, e.g. beef intestines).
Sausage is too foreign and exotic for ruddy-nosed gaijin.

When I was 19 I did modeling in Japan for 2 months and some guys thought I was Natalie Portman.(I look nothing like her)

>>10417155
why are his lips so thin?

>Enjoys motsu nabe until he learns what motsu means (beef tripe, e.g. beef intestines).

Why do people hate offal so much?

How is "first world problems" and internet meme?
I'm pretty sure people though of this before the internet.

Lots of girls want to fuck you, but only the crazy ones would ever think of marrying you.

>>10417185
If you want marriage then be sure to impregnate her.

>>10417173
btw I'm a girl

>>10417173
NOOOO!!! THERE ARE NO GIRLS IN /jp/-

>>10417196
>>10417208

In his defense I look nothing like Natalie Portman either, and I'm also a guy.

Funneh

>>10417175
Why do you like chitterlings so much?

>Policeman asks to see your gaijin ID card, turns out he just wants to practice his English with you.
That's a funny way to interpret being harassed by the officials solely because you are a foreigner.

>>10417244

>ask ID
>harrassed

how?

>>10417213

To be fair, I do look like Natalie Portman, but I'm a dog.

>>10417246
How is bothering law-abading citizens simply because you don't like the way they look not harassing?

>Is slightly above average weight, so Japanese assume he's a famous Pro Wrestler and ask for his autograph.

>Is slightly above average weight

Why do fat people always try to paint themselves like this? It's hilarious, and pathetic.

>>10417252
>The girl handing out pocket tissues advertising high-interest credit card loans has been told not to bother handing tissues to foreigners.

...Thats a good thing?

>>10417252
Because bothering isn't the same as harassment. That's why they're different words, dummyhead.

>>10417258
Meant to respond to OP there.

Also you don't need to wear their fucking slippers if you just open your mouth and say they're too small for you. You're company,they'll either let you go barefoot/sockfoot or get you another pair.

>>10417252
In certain areas of crime, almost all the crime is committed by foreigners. Japanese jails are filling up with them. Crimes dealing with things like drugs, and prostitution the offenders are usually always illegals from Korea, China, or places from South East Asia.

>>10417268
Typical American arrogance. You are a guest, you do as the host wants or you get the fuck out of there.

>>10417275
It's also because the Japanese police allow Japanese cartels to operate freely as long as it's not in plain view. Japan's policy towards foreigners is similar to most Western countries policies 50 years ago.

>>10417268

Fuck that noise. I wear shoes in my house and I'll wear shoes in everyone else's house. Who is gonna stop me? Some tiny Jap bastard and his decrepit wife? I'm going to bring some European FREEDOM and CULTURE if I ever go to Japan

>Another minor challenge for foreigners is learning to sit on the floor. While Western-style furniture like comfortable sofas and chairs are common in Japan, most homes have one or more washitsu (Japanese style rooms) complete with tatami mats and little cushions to sit on called called zabuton (literally, "sitting futon"). In my house, we often eat with my wife's parents, with everyone sitting around the kotatsu heater grabbing from a large pot of food boiling away in the center (naturally not motsu nabe). Even after living for so long in Japan, an hour or so of sitting on the floor starts to get uncomfortable, and I'll usually switch to a nearby chair when no one is looking. I remember when I met my future mother-in-law for the first time: she took me out to experience a really traditional Japanese tea ceremony, which requires that you sit in seiza ("correct sitting") position with your entire body's weight resting on your knees and feet for about 10,000 hours. Japanese always expect that foreigners won't be able to sit for long in that position, so of course I had to prove her wrong, gritting my teeth as the blood stopped flowing through my legs. I guess I made a good impression since she let me marry her daughter.

I really want to sit on the floor with an old japanese lady. I've been sitting on the floor for a year now so I'm really proud of my awesome sitting skills.

>>10417252
>because you don't like the way they look

how do you know it?

Do you really believe that racism thing?

My father lived there in the 70s and said they are among the kindest population in the world.

All you have to do is to behave like a civilized man.

>>10417302
I'd beat the shit out of you if you ever attempted to enter my house without removing your shoes.

>>10417302
I'm English and we take our shoes off in the house too. If you don't take yours off in my house I will hook you right in the gabba m8.

>>10417315
>>10417320

i hope you cunts are hard as fuck because no 140lb nerd is going to stop ME from walking where I want with my shoes on

What's it like to be a foreigner buying condoms?
The cashiers must give you the death stare for stealing their women.

>>10417302

Okay, so, what if you...
...you stepped in dog poop like out there in the street,

...and then you just went in home without realizin' it...

And then on top of that, if the American father and mother and eldest son and eldest daughter all stepped on poop themselves and they went in home without realizin' it...

>>10417324
What if it's a woman? Will she suck you off behind the counter?

>>10417324
Make sure they're XXXL and watermelon flavoured, for extra effect.

>>10417324
You could just be buying it for your foreign wife.

>>10417324
You could just be buying it for your foreign wife

>>10417324
Foreigners have been stealing women ever since 1945. The Japanese are used to it.

>>10417324
The cashier would probably see your K-ON t-shirt, rolls of fat and your neckbeard and assume you were buying them for someone else.

>>10417324
/jp/ doesn't have to worry about such things

>>10417323
I'm 160lb of pure muscle. You'd be walking against a train, little boy.

>>10417357
>160lbs

midget detected. sorry kiddo but you have to add about an extra 30lbs to even GOML

>>10417357
>160lb
>You'd be walking against a train
A toy train.

>>10417246

He is right, they are basically trying to see if they can deport you or not (for one they get "points" for successfully doing such activities).

That you would actually believe they wanted English practice shows how fucking naive you are faggot.

>>10417155

>Search engines default to Japanese language on new computers, making you spend several minutes figuring out how to force the browser to search in English.

>being in weeaboo in Japan and not knowing Japanese so you can search in Japanese

Also you are a colossal retard for contradicting yourself with the other examples:
>Can't find the "open" and "close" buttons inside the elevator because they're written in English.
>Spends several months with no English speakers around except ESL students, now talks like Forrest Gump.


>>The girl handing out pocket tissues advertising high-interest credit card loans has been told not to bother handing tissues to foreigners.

This one is the only real one that annoyed me when I was in Japan. However, if I ever didn't get offered one, I went out of my way to ask for one. Nothing like free tissues.

>>10417679
Tell us more of your adventures.

I fucking love those stories

Being 5'3", white, and really good at speaking Japanese, I get along quite well with the folks over here. I even have a Japanese girlfriend.

I'm also in the military

>>10417324
Why would you buy condoms for fucking a japanese?

>>10417302

German here. Be prepared to get a fist full of rage straight into your visage if you ever dare to come with shoes into my house.

>>10417285
It is the responsibility of the host to accommodate the guests. You'd have to be some type of uncultured swine to think the way you do. If the provisions of the host are inadequate it is not rude to politely tell them.

Why do people have trouble with seiza?
I don`t think it`s that unconfortable.

white people a shit

>>10417714

Okay.

>Go to Japan around 2000. Girl riding on a bike has wind gust blow her short skirt up at the exact perfect time she is riding pass me (going the opposite direction)
>living the classic anime dream.jpg

>go another time to Japan, now year around 2008
>all girls wearing biker shorts under their skirts now
>fuckthisgayearth.jpg

I guess this was another gaijinworldpromblem that really annoyed me

More:

>want to go to a konyoku onsen (mixed bathing hotspring), hardly any exist anymore
>go to an ero manga shop, "don't read the mangas in the store" signs all over the place, other people reading them (japs), I do the same and the store guy comes only to me
>go to a 7/11 or McDonalds and go up to the cashier, clearly notice cashier cringe in fear of having to speak english even though I can speak japanese
>want to go to soapland for some nice japanese whore dicksucking, spend hours trying to find a shop that will allow gaijin, get rejected many times

Although admitedly I always found at least one

>>10417759

The whole purpose of seiza is to sit uncomfortable (=being attentive to your surroundings).

>>10417778
What a barbaric practice.

Is credit card usage up more now than it was 2 years ago? I'll be over in Japan for the next 4 years and the one thing I dread is when I have to give them paper/coin. Translating numbers is my worst ability.

>>10417770
>>go to an ero manga shop, "don't read the mangas in the store" signs all over the place, other people reading them (japs), I do the same and the store guy comes only to me

It's funny because it already happened to me, in my hometown, but there were no japs

I'm getting confused here, who is everyone in this thread quoting?

>>10417811

you're mom lmao

>>10417811
They're "quoting" past life experiences so they can tell the story in the present tense as to make it more immersive. Fucking hell dude keep up.

>>10417327
Only nasty Yankee's don't take their shoes off.

>>10417770
Please stop abusing the quote feature.

>go to resturant
>they bring you a fork, not chopsticks

>>10417861

Good. Chopsticks are inferior in every possible way.

>>10417865
Racist.

>>10417861

>they were being considerate

FUGGIN JAPOY SCUM!

You're all retarded. Most of the things make sense. They bring you a fork because they likely have lots of tourits who ask them for forks so they want to make it easier for you. They don't give you a thing about credit card loans because you probably can't get one because you aren't a citizen anyway. Most gaijin they see are like tourists and it would just be a waste of materials. Police check your ID to make sure you are not an illegal. They have lots of crime problems from illegals from other Asia countries and Nigeria, for example. Places check your ID sometimes. People are trying to get that gong in America too due to the illegal immigration problem.

>Too tall to fit in a kigurimi full-body costume.
They will still fit, they just won't go all the way down to your ankles and wrists. Even if you are super obese (speaking from experience) you can still comfortably wear them like a snug-fitting onesie.

>>10417155
>Goes for all-you-can-eat pizza at Shakey's, the only pizza they have out is corn and mayonnaise.

What the actual fuck?

>>10417872
What if you needed a spoon?

>>10417872
The person who wrote OP is a gaijin living in Japan as an actual citizen and not a tourist. That's why it's gaijin problems and not tourist problems.

>>10417907
Japanese food is generally pretty good but foreign food made by the Japanese can be very weird indeed.

Pic related, noodle burger.

>>10417913
If you needed a spoon I doubt chopsticks would have helped much either.

>>10417921
And? How do you expect someone to know that he is a citizen just from lucking at him? Idiot.

>>10417927
so tsuntsun

1. Put it in the freezer.
2. Rip it open.
3. Profit! No mystery involved here.

>>10417935
Really, though. Japan is what? 98% Japanese? If you see a non-Japanese person, it's safe to assume they're not a citizen.

>>10417927
You don't. In case you didn't know, First World Problems, which this is parodying, is supposed to be funny and not taken seriously.

>>10417926
reminds me of yakisoba pan

>>10417940
You can't tell that for sure until they open their mouths. Unless they're westerners, of course.

>>10417950
Japanese can tell the difference between Japanese and subhuman Chinese and Koreans.

>>10417942
Ohhh, okay. Good.

Also, what's the # sign for?

>>10417730
>Why would you buy condoms for fucking a japanese?
jap girls are dirty.

>>10417955
No.

Fuck off to 2ch, you brainwashed retard,

>>10417959
Hashtag, it's a twitter thing where you create categories by adding a hashtag, so if you're talking about food you might say "This is delicious #food". You can read tweets by other people which have used a certain hashtag.

>>10417955
Rather than just Japanese, any asian person can if they have enough contact with the other lot. Koreans have very blocky faces and Chinese people tend to be pretty ugly.

>>10417966
Yes they can, idiot.

>>10417966
You just aren't wired to see the difference.

Please do not be ignorant, friend.

>>10417975
Huh. 'kay, that's handier than I had thought twitter was.

Anyway, whatever, thanks for the info.

>>10417778
Are you serious? Seiza is the most comfortable sitting posture ever once you get used to it. It's honestly more comfortable than slouching on a sofa or a recliner. If you spend all day sitting in a chair, of course it's gonna be uncomfortable.

>>10417966
Why is it so hard to believe? White people can easily tell Slavs, Anglos and Germans apart, not to mention Mediterraneans.

>>10418005
>Seiza is the most comfortable sitting posture ever once you get used to it

No, it isn't. No matter how much you get used to, you are effectively cutting up the blood flow to your feet. Even Japanese people have numb feet after sitting in this position for a certain time. That's not what I call comfortable.

>>10417955

Bullshit. I hang out a lot with the exchange students at my school and have seen PLENTY of times where a Japanese mistook a Chinese or Korean as Japanese and vice-versa. I've also showed them pictures of friends on Facebook and had them play "guess the nationality" game and they get it wrong like half the time.

They like to say they can tell the difference, but they can't.

>>10417986
>Chinese people tend to be pretty ugly.
Yeah, like the japs worshipping the south asian niggers saying they are white is any better.

>>10418030
I'm sure they become Comfortably Numb after a while.

>>10418030

Most old people can do seiza easily and for what seems like eternity. Most young people, however, can't go for more than 30 minutes at a time without taking a break cause their feet fall asleep.

I know cause I joined a traditional Japanese instrument circle when I studied abroad and you had to sit seiza style during instrument practice. Young Japanese hate it.

>>10417861

Yeah, I hate this one too.

I always have to end up asking for chopsticks.

>>10418080
Yes they can.

>>10417966

You are a faggot. I spent long enough in Japan so that even I could start noticing differences and be able to tell if someone is China, Korean or Japanese. And the Japanese can do it too.

>>10417174
Fetal Alcohol Syndrome

>>10417975

But the questions still remains what kind of faggot would use # on 4chan?

Answer:

THE MOST MASSIVELY COLOSSAL FAGLORD IN ALL THE UNIVERSE, YOU.

>>10418127
saved

>>10418030
You're wrong. I can sit in seiza for as long as I can bother. I never lose blood flow to my feet anymore.

>Even Japanese people have numb feet after sitting in this position for a certain time.
If they spend a lot of time sitting in western chairs, that's no surprise. Japanese people are human beings too.

I've seen nationalists be able to stop Koreans on the street to harass them, picking them out of a crowd. It's possible.

>>10418080

Problems with this:

01. Your example includes younger samples
02. Your samples don't live in Japan
03. You are a faggot

>>10417861

I lived in Hiroshima and never had this problem. People gave me chopsticks and the clerks assumed I speak enough Japanese to handle daily transactions. It's only when I went to a place like Osaka or Kyoto that I had servers asking if I wanted a spoon and clerks fumbling with their English. Maybe it's cause Hiroshima has almost zero tourists outside of Peace Park and I don't look like a military fag.

>>10418147
>>10418148
>>10418107
You're not fooling anyone, netoyou.

>>10418144

You are fucking lying, because I was in Hiroshima too for a couple of years and it still happened to me.

Unless you are Asian in which case of course they would give you hashi and expect you to know Japanese.

>>10418159
Watch and learn, fool

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMltjMC9A

>>10418142

These students had only been in America for a few months. I somehow doubt they lost their magic Asian senses during that time.

Honestly, the easiest way to tell Asians apart is by their clothes. Japanese, Koreans, and Chinese have definite fashion differences. However, that's not a facial characteristic.

>>10418142
>01. Your example includes younger samples
And?
>02. Your samples don't live in Japan
What part EXCHANGE didn't you fucking understand?
>03. You are a faggot
And you are a fucking retard.

>>10418163

I lived their for about a year as an exchange student at Hiroshima Shudo University. Maybe it happened like once or twice, but it was hardly a regular thing by any means. The amount of times it happened during a few days in Osaka or Kyoto was equal to the amount of times it happened in Hiroshima, perhaps even less.

>>10418176
How disgusting.

Do these nationalist have any respect?
That woman is at least twice older than that screaming monkey.

>>10418249
HOWAITO PIGGU GO HOMU is real too, if you didn't know.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FYuYkPkk

>>10418270
they are koreans

>>10418277
Who is Korean? In the second video I posted they are harassing white people.

whee

>>10417994
Contrary to apparently popular belief, we're all h. sapiens, the same variety of h. sapiens, with the possible exception of some really truly freaky jungle pygmies who'll kill you and eat you if they get the opportunity (and therefore haven't been interbreeding with the rest of the world).

So no, we're all "wired" by experience, not by birth, and people mistake ethnicity, even with ethnic groups they're familiar with, all the time. This one guy I was convinced was a middle-eastern dude, turns out he was from Venezuela. Seriously.

>>10418313
Go argue about it on /pol/ and not here please.

>>10418313
How is that surprising? Spanish people are basically Arabs.

>>10418326
You tell that to the other posters, dammit, I'm the one being sensible. Fuck knows why!

>>10418361
I don't care. Stop trying to start shit.

>>10418270
It's not fair to say they are representative of the Japanese people in general; they're a tiny minority of retards. You get them in every country.

>>10418193

Are you retarded? If they are young, they don't have the experience and probably also don't even care enough to try to tell the difference.

I don't think you understand what exchange means. If you have Japanese exchange students at your school, then that means they are away from their home country.

No, clearly you are the retard as can be proven with your responses.

>>10418414
>a tiny minority of retards. You get them in every country.

Not necessarily true, in America, we have a large majority of retards.

>>10418313

>some retarded, in-experienced people can't tell the difference, therefore NO ONE can

Do you realize how much of a faggot you sound like?

>>10418414
>they're a tiny minority of retards.
I think there's even a formal mathematical definition to that...

>>10418361

>implying /pol/ isn't sensible

>>10418426
No, retarded netoyou, they can't tell because they are sane, unlike people of your kind.
>If you have Japanese exchange students at your school, then that means they are away from their home country.
Oh really?

God, you are just worsening your already shitty image.

>>10418439
Oh hell yeah, somebody called me a "faggot" on the internet. You just made my night, fucko.

>>10418313
Rottweilers can breed with Chihuahuas.

Being off the same species absolutely does not equate to equality.

>>10418447
>image
>4chan
>anonymous

>>10418176
在日、帰れ！

I don't know why you people keep arguing about whether they can tell the difference between Japanese and other types of Asians. Video evidence has already been posted that they are capable of picking out Koreans on the street.

>>10417311
>>10417311
>70s

That's recent. Not.

Capcha: eunit not

>>10418270
Those are a tiny group of nationalists that don't realize Japan is white.

Jaded weeaboos vs True-believing weeaboo nationalists

over 100 replies and not one worth reading

Thread of the century

>>10418474
>asian
>white
pick one

>>10418464
No, I think that person was just being a retard.

>>10418451

You are right. I understand. If you really are a faggot that isn't really an insult to you, amarite?

>>10418464
It's pretty clever how they can do that, they all look the same to me.

>>10418482
Get some glasses piggu.

>>10418480
I'm pretty sure some people posting ITT are japanese.

This is starting to remind me of an episode of Star Trek.

>>10418494

Haha you're hilarious

>>10418497

>>10418512
See?

I was right.

>>10417722
>5'3"

manlet

>>10417722
>5'3"
Manlet detected.

this thread is fucking disgusting, fuck your neo/jp/

>>10418548

its just an invasion from the shitty boards, some of them will always end up staying

>>10418464
Apparently the guy going crazy is actually japanese born, but of entirely korean ancestry. I thought something about him seemed off... It can help explain his ability to pick that korean woman out in the street though while no one else seemed to.

>>10418548
You don't make seen.

>>10418249
Political radicals anywhere rarely show even a modicum of respect for people that don't share their views; it's just that some of them ignore you, condescend or get passive aggressive and some of them get in your face and start screaming.

>>10417722
I thought they didn't let military personnel off-base anymore? Or is that just for enlisted MUHREENS?

>>10417865

There is one: If you have a peice of seared meat/veggie, you can eat it without puncturing the surface.

>>10419428
You can sort of scoop it up with a fork or spoon the same way.

>>10417722
Who send all dese babies to fight?!
Let us fight man, versus tiny baby man...
Sandvich.

>>10419411
>I thought they didn't let military personnel off-base anymore?

It's not prison.

>>10419540
Yeah, but I thought that they were basically adopting a "shut the fuck up, you lost your outside privileges" attitude because the muhreens kept pissing off the locals. At least, that's what some guy that was stationed in Okinawa told me.

>>10418076
http://www.indoboom.com/2012/stori/japanese-women-travel-to-bali-fosex-with-local-beach-boys.html

Japanese women indeed worship SEA niggers.

>>10419684
That's like saying Westerners worship Cambodians because so many of them head there to fuck the girls.

>>10419693
I thought that was Thailand?

>>10419704
I think Thailand is more mainstream and Cambodia is more for children.

This is probably wrong, though.

>>10417173
Of course you look nothing like her, you're a guy you dumbass

>>10417173
Maybe gaijins arr rooked da same to them.

>>10417173
>modeling
So which JAV did you appear in?

>When you go home you suddenly realize that your favorite confection is now impossible to get a hold of without making your wallet cry.
I want my strawberry kit-kats...

>>10417155
>white people

>>10417993
Incorrect.

>>10417770
I missread konyoku as kyonyuu.
I'd a 巨乳温泉

>>10418176
>>10418270

There should be a law that forbids megaphone usage.

I have sensitive ears, and if I ever went to japan I'd jave to puch those fucking monkeys.