/jp/ - Otaku Culture

I already had my first kiss when I was like 15. So she is about nine years too late.

I would try to get it back.

>>10141828
Lucky guy! I'm 22 and still without one, I have to get one soon or I'll be lumped in with the /a/r9k/ losers for life.

B-but we are both girls! I don't want to be a loser.

>>10141836
Please tell me more about how you're a girl and the necessity of mentioning it in every single post you make.

take her virginity

>>10141830
You are already a loser.

>>10141843
Why are you so interested? Stop paying attention to it.

Reject her and them make out with another /jp/er just to see her face.

>>10141848
But what if she wants to date me?

Break whore's jaw. I will become a full fledged wizard.

I want to make babies with Marisa.

>>10141853
Stars tell me that might not happen.

>>10141860
A kiss isn't going to stop you from becoming a wizard. If she stole your virginity, thats a different matter.

>>10141900
It decreases your mana supply, go away succubus enabler.

>>10141826
Punch her fucking face in. Does that worthless bitch think I'm as easy as she is? Get the fuck out of my sight you vapid whore.

I would be sad because that means I couldn't give it to my love.

Cry and hope she goes away.

>>10141850
>>10141860
>>10141941
>>10141947
>>10142002

What's wrong with you dudes? Y'all gay? I bet if Marisa actually appeared in your basement and tried to kiss you you'd gladly accept.

>>10142013
There is this little thing called "love", we can't all be mindless monkeys with no brain like you.

This is a phenomenally implausible scenario.

I would probably let it happen.

>>10142017

But I love Marisa and simply can not accept that some people might not.

It's not really much of stealing if she doesn't do it without you being prepared.

>>10142024
My love is restricted to Sakuya only.

>>10142024
Well I fucking hate her.

>>10142013
She would only bully me afterwards because that is my first kiss. She would tell all the other Youkai and everybody would shun me even more and throw bricks through my window.

Right before her lips touch mine, I'd rip off my clothes then do a lightning quick hand stand so that she kisses THESE NUTS.

>>10142013
Totally. I'm the gay one for loathing a flat-chested tomboy with a speech impediment and cleptomania.

How many STDs do you think she ``stole'' from other people?

>>10142040

Shut up, Marisa is a pure virgin, albeit a bit tomboyish.

I've kissed girls before. Sorry Marisa.

>>10142048
You think that is going to stop her?

>>10142049
Yes.

Marisa wouldn't want to kiss a loser like me. But if she did it would be the happiest day of my life.

>>10142050
She'll just track down your first kiss and take it back by force.

>>10142046
No she isn't. She is the loosest whore around the block. Why do hyou even fucking think she's trying to kiss you? She either got paid for it on a dare or she's trying to get a new customer.

Why would she want to steal someone's first kiss if she didn't love them?

>>10142058

Because she loves me, of course.

She's not a slut, you'll need some proof of that.

>>10142054
Would you start crying in the middle? Please don't.

It's not like i like marisa or anything!! Those replays and high scores of using marisa is just coincidence!! and that huge amount of marisa pics is.. is.. is.. argh!! why do i have to explain?!

>>10142066
She's a cruel harlot who only wants to make fun of people.

>>10142066
Why is she kissing random people anyway.

>>10142074
I don't think I would but I would probably blush and after it's over I'd smile.

The joke would be on her because she would be stealing used kisses.

>>10142080
I think she would have the same reaction but after that no one would say anything and then she would leave because of the awkward silence and never come back.

Move back awkwardly, make a bad joke about something that I can think of, then make some shitty excuse to leave the room and actively avoid her until she goes away. After that I'd masturbate furiously.

>>10142089
That's a sad development. But at least I would remember her.

>>10142072
Burden of proofs falls on you. You're the one saying a vapid pathetic crack whore ``loves'' you.

That is one of my favorite Touhou pics.

I hug her and feed her a hamburger.

I'll also let her steal the first kick I'm gonna give someone in the mouth.

>>10142097
>After that I'd masturbate furiously

Would you kiss hina even if she stealing your misfortune?

I'd accept, but she would regret that. My mouth smells like a fresh shit straight out of my ass. I don't brush my teeth more often than once a week, not even mentioning shower that I take once very two weeks.

Marisa would be disgusted by my neckbeard too, but at least I shave every week and am not fat, but rather skinny

Push her off and tell her she's going to have to try harder than that.

>>10142796
Wouldn't that give me a better reason? She just sucked out my bad luck and I should be happy for that.

>>10142796
You cant steal something which value is void.

>>10142797
Hold on a moment... why would she even try to kiss me? Fucking crack whore probably got paid by crowslut to make fun of me. Fucking crowsluts

I would _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Surprise!!! _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

After that, we'd live happily ever after.

Knowing me, I'd feel a knot in my stomach immediately, but I've never been the type of person who could be victim to his own inhibitions. I would be terrified in more ways than are easily conveyed through word, putting every ounce of energy into stopping myself from shaking. There would be a duality, though--for every thought that passed where I doubted and worried, there would be a rising courage would bear the affection I would feel for her. With less than characteristic hesitation, I would wrap my arm around her waist and pull her close, into an embrace, and lean in close enough to feel her soft breath on my lips. I would hold there, savoring the moment, and each exhale of hers I felt would be like grease to the dusty machine that was my tendency to over-think. Not a minute would pass before I would bring up my other hand to cup her face, and slide my fingers back through her hair, now holding her head, and glide my thumb across her ear just before finally closing my eyes and puckering my lips the small amount that would be necessary for them to make contact with hers. Addicted to her, I would kiss her again and again, with each new kiss being more passionate than the last, expressing an increasingly more firm control over her; squeezing her closer to me, and gently pushing her head into longer, more erotic kisses. At first, when my tongue would first enter her mouth, she would be slightly apprehensive. Sliding my tongue across her teeth, her jaw would loosen and welcome me in. However tightly I had held her would be irrelevant now, as she firmly grasps me, and aggressively pushes into me, enthralled.

i would probably running away crying intimacy always makes me feel unhappy so i avoid it

How ugly do you have to be to be a kissless virgin?
Pathetic.

>>10142818
Who is worse: crowslut for paying her or Marisa for accepting the payment?

>>10142796
duh

>>10142797
>Marisa would be disgusted by my neckbeard too, but at least I shave every week and am not fat, but rather skinny
>neckbeard
>skinny
citation needed or I call you bullshit!

>>10142823
Crowslut. It's in Marisa's nature to be a dog who follows the highest bidder and I expect nothing more from her. Crowslut was the one who took the first step and paid Marisa.

>>10142826
horahora! virgin boy!

How ugly do you have to be to be a kissless virgin?
Pathetic.

It won't be my first kiss, I hope that's not a dealbreaker <3

>>10142827
``Look at me guys! I act upon the /v/tg/ preconceived notion that neckbeard means more than just having beard on someone's neck!''

>>10142826
I heard girls complimenting me for being 'cute' and shit

Guess what? I don't even leave my room, except when I was going still to school. No girl was clingy or brave enough to talk to me, looks like. I'm happy to stay a wizard and I would reject these whores anyway.
You're the one pathetic one here, how does it feel to be excluded from the realm of magic forever?

>>10142833
:3

You're cute, you just act like a bratty child~

>>10142827

>>10142817
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1rks1dmjrY

>>10142838
``cute'' is the stock compliment to be awarded to uninteresting, awkward people.

>>10142842
marisa, why are you hiking on the road of the Apotropaic God?

>>10142817
I had like 3 more posts worth of text, but chromium decided to not respect my clipboard, so now there's nothing.

There is no worse thing than being forced to use an awful computer after several components on your motherboard exploded, where the parts you ordered on Monday are due to arrive next week, never-mind that you payed for 3-day shipping. This computer, which cannot even copy-and-paste correctly, whose resolution refuses to even match up to the position of the cursor, takes a full 1/2 of an hour to boot, and hangs at the input of text at your full 120WPM. With an unfamiliar keyboard which you suspect to have been designed by a paraplegic hobbit, and a mouse molded to the specifications of a man whose hand is a claw, you occupy your ocean of time by typing out a story that you can't even finish posting because your "takes 10 minutes to start" browser crashed.

This is NEET hell, truly. I know no-one cares, but I'm pained to experience this insofar that any inhibition from complaining I might have felt is totally overpowered by my colossal animosity for poorly constructed electronics and badly written code.

>>10142870
sounds like u got owend72lyfe

>>10142838
cute means you are beta, harmless

>>10142874
>>10142838
fuck u

>>10142872
It hurts, anon.

I doubt anyone could understand, but I loved my computer. It was more trustworthy and reliable than any woman I had ever met, and it could turn me on just as fast as I could, it.

It was beautiful, but now that beauty is tainted with charred, unrecognizable capacitors and switches.

The first night, I laid down with my motherboard. I could still smell the fumes from melted plastic and alkaline fluids. I cried on it until I fell asleep.

I'll miss you, motherboard. Even now, you're still beautiful to me.

>>10142902
are you a writer or some shit?
because your typing style is gay as HELL d00d

>>10142886
btw i'm a girl

Accept her feelings.

>>10141826

>>10142913
No you are not because girls don't like to fuck.

return it because i love her

But I kissed Marisa years ago already

What if the gate guardian tries to steal your first kiss?

>>10142969
I would be very happy.

This was the first thread I saw on /jp/ 3 years ago.

>>10142974

What if Kisume tries to steal your first kissume?

>This thread

>>10142988
DON'T YOU FUCKING LAUGH AT ME.

testt

>>10142983

I would kick her.

It's useless, my first kiss was already stolen by Dio.

>>10143002

Anyone wanna ERP?

>>10143075
Only if you like to be violent raped by a strapon

>>10143104
I like to be violently raped by almost anything

>>10141826
Push her away, I'm not a lolicon.
Unless she was of age(physically, mentally, not just temporally).

Marisa can't steal it if Sakuya steals it first

>>10143304
She doesn't take the trash, that's Meiling's job.

>>10143379
O

I don't know how to kiss someone, I'd probably fuck it up. She'd live disappointed.

>>10143394
leave*

>>10142969
Now we're talking! I'd be so happy I'd probably cry. Which would make Meiling really puzzled and shocked, asking me if I was okay and that she's sorry. hen I'd kiss her back and tell her how happy she's just made me.

>>10143394

Practice with your dog.

>>10143458
Momiji doesn't like it when I try to do that.

Isn't Marisa the one with straight shot, lasers, and speed? Because if so I wouldn't mind a kiss from her at all.

>>10144943
I like butts like that.
Especially when they're crushing my face.

>>10144961
Even if they are passing gas?

Kiss her, then tell her she would actually need to go back in time, several years, to steal my first kiss.

reminds me of oneshota. one plucky boy's epic journey to not have sex or intimate contact ever.

>>10144943
No, you're thinking of Leinyan.

i'm actually a kiss slut. i've kissed like 8 girls and 1 guy who was drunk and trying to prove that it wasn't gay. also he passed out on the pool table and i felt kind of grossed out.

>>10145016
Leinyan ≠ Speed.

>>10145031
She's faster than shooty whilst using the laser, though obviously equal to exy doing the same. And no slower than shooty while, er, shooting.

>>10145027
W-would you kiss me, anonymous?

>>10141826
Sorry Marisa, im not a kiss virgin anymore.
DO
YOU
UNDERSTAND?

>>10145032
would you really want to kiss someone as dirty and lewd as me?

If Marisa and Yuugi were fighting over you which one would win

>>10145041
Umm... y-yeah...

>>10145045
yur'e mom because i fucked her first

>>10145054
were brothers though

>>10145061
the other mom

>>10145048
o... oh. well that'd be okay... can we hug while we do it? i miss intimacy.

>>10145045
probably marisa yuugi is weak

Report her to the police.

>>10143104
What the heck Entreprise Resource Planning have to do with strap on? Silly girl.

will be 20 in a month and i still never kissed a girl.

PLEASE MARISA, STEAL MY VIRGINITY!!! I BEG YOU!!!

>>10150724
Hahaha, fuck off, child.

>>10150724
>20
you still have a long training ahead of you, mage apprentice

>>10150724
>19

what a child

>>10150724
my cousin is 25 and he is still a virgin.

But like I said a few months ago, he is probably gay.

>>10150724
>19yo
get out cancerous newfag

>>10150792
Why didn't you take his virginity if he's gay?

>>10142870
I cried of laughter reading this post... I'm sorry because I don't want to be mean, but thank you for writing that.

Why is /jp/ so cute?

>>10150963
shut up man if you post like that again I'll punch you