/jp/ - Otaku Culture

(1/4)
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As time passes and two events barrel down in my direction—one personal, the other life-changing—it's no surprise that stress piles up like a mountain.

Anon reads that on my face the moment I enter the fake shrine—outside, the moonlight soft and the buzz of the extended night a nice song—tea for two on the kotatsu; "Hard day, Ran?" I mumble, settling down by his side and laying my head on his chest, letting out a deep sigh—he giggles, a strong and gentle hand on my back pulling me closer. "Sorry—I forgot all day is a hard day for you!" He laughs, and I want to punch him, frowning and locking our eyes, ears twitching—

Am welcomed by a kiss. I don't want to punch him anymore.

Still…

"… Things are not slowing down…" I taste the tea, which is so routinely good and calming—once a balm for the jaded heart, but now… "Every day is more of the same bad, it's getting so hard to manage everything and—" I feel the area. No signs of Old Magic. "—we are threading the line: every day Yukari becomes more observant of Reimu, of Toutetsu; Aya… It's getting impossible to navigate beneath her nose safely. I fear we may slip up—or, worse, already have slipped up and simply didn't notice it yet…"

His hug tightens, sweet lips kissing my ears. I try to enjoy, I do—yet I can only imagine how easily it'd be to lose this while trying to build something new…

"… There's also my estrus. It's a fear of 'will it, or will it not' when it comes to Yukari and the actions she'll take, and it's so inconsequential, yet I cannot stop thinking probabilities and chance—" I sigh, and my eyelids feel like lead. I stare at the distance, through the window, the fake ceiling—and just wish… For something better.

Something that won't eat me inside every waking hour; that won't need a hard-to-maintain facade just so I don't screw up…

A house, children, this man—that sounds like THAT something…

… Yet, it's a world of distance away from now. A world I cannot fully grasp until—

"Ran," his voice calls to me, sounding unsure, my slits locking with his humane eyes. There's something in the air with the stretching moment of silence, his face tensing up a bit and pupils going from side to side on the sea of white, as if pondering; confused, anxious… I hold his hand on mine and gently squeeze it. His eyes calm down gradually, then focus on mine, and whatever he was considering was answered with: 'It is worth it'. "This fear of yours, of what Yukari may make you do during your estrus… I want to erase you from it."

… Huh?

My mind, one of the most powerful in Gensokyo, blanked.

I blinked and frowned, foxed, before understanding grew like a weed; "Anon, you—"

"I k-know… And I know it will never go away. What Yukari has done to me, to my body, what she makes me go through—it'll never go away…" There's a sad truth to his voice, and I squeeze his hand harder. He smiles, weary. "Yet, what we have, silly as it may sound… is special to me, and I don't want to lose it."

"Me too," I say as a reflex, and it feels natural, nine tails swarming between us in a fluffy sea of warmth. "Because of that, Anon, you shouldn't—"

"Ran, I don't care—I… want it!" He smiles, and it's full of hopes and dreams for a future. A good future. "For 19 years… I didn't want to have it. The choice was always taken away from me—here, it isn't a choice at all…" I reach for his face, caressing the rough skin. He leans on my palm, smile growing. "But, with you, the thought…" He gulps down one last fear, one last doubt, and opens his eyes pulsing with determination, placing his hand on top of mine. "I want to make love with you, Ran… Do you with me?"

I breathe in heavily, staring wide-eyed—my face burns… Are those tears? Of course, they're tears! Words like these from a man in his situation…

My heart grows tenfold as I let slim tears down, struggling between a smile and pursed lips, a trembling midterm that just grows and grows when his forehead touches mine, and his laugh in my ears is like a beautiful melody. The bright image, as if a photo held over a fireplace, of beautiful children with thick tails and pointy ears as mine, eyes like his…

"I do."

An image that didn't leave my mind as he took me off the ground and ran outside—because what we have is ours and ours alone.

Clothes flew off, kisses everywhere burned like scalds, and soon we're as natural as the day we came to this world, nine tails embracing him like an infinity of arms. The windy and cold breeze hits, yet the warmth dispels it like it never existed, nature surrounding us as, gently, Anon places me on a flat stone by the pond.

We stare at each other, breathing heavily, and though it's night and the moonlight is little, I still can perfectly see him—oh…

I didn't notice it at first, but fireflies surrounded us, casting spots of beautiful golden light over our naked bodies. The atmosphere; scenery; scents and temperature—all great…

But it takes him here with me, his smile fond and eyes shining, to be perfect.