/jp/ - Otaku Culture

No job despite having a few certificates and high education but am lucky enough that my parents while not rich aren't poor so I can live as NEET and don't need to take another job where my employer pays me 2 months after and less than they should while also insulting me. Kinda want some cash though as my laptop is old and dying and struggles playing Youtube videos. Living humbly but aside from access to internet and being able to play a few old games I don't need much. In fact I could eat stale bread and still enjoy the taste so I don't exactly have high needs. Was quite content living the way I did until recently. One of my very few friends got depressed again and stopped talking with me saying they just need some alone time and apologizing for not contacting me in the near future. I worried about her especially since 3 of my 4 friend are now depressed. I was checking and sending daily messages to all of them trying to cheer them up. She did not even check the messages which was okay by me since I myself sometimes need some alone time but then I saw an alert that they have posted something on their social media account which did scare me a bit. Turns out they were spending time with friends and doing fun stuff and I can't help but feel like it's not that she's spending time with closer friends but that she actively trying to avoid me. I feel like I'm losing another friend and she's not the only of those 4 friends I get the feeling I'm losing. Even worse since she's the only friend of mine that is a girl this whole situation is making me into a bit of a misogynist which I don't want to be but when I barely speak to people even less girls it's hard not to just blindly hate a whole group of people for perceived failure of one person. And to add to that her having rich life with luxuries and what not makes me feel a bit jealous and like I'm less of a person (Despite trying my best to take care of myself I look like a crack addict). All things considered maybe a good meal and a good sleep will make me feel okay again. Sorry for this mess of a text.