/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>46692186

"I think about a lot of things! Like how good that fried dough they serve in the lobby tastes or if Mother Ran's stray hairs would make a good brush, but then I get excited about sharing it with someone and then I feel lonely again." She sighs. "Father Goro, is saying goodbye to people always so hard?"

I closed my eyes and exhaled. "Yeah. Humans are made of each other Senkai, when we say good bye, it's like loosing something that makes us whole, the same is just as true for Youkai, gods, and-"

"Me." She said with a smile.

"Exactly." I said, satisfied she understood.

"So why did you leave Mother Hijiri and the others? Aren't they apart of you? Doesn't that hurt?" She asked.

I paused like a bear who'd just put his foot right into a trap. Childlike innocence or malevolent Youkai conversationalist? I could scarcely tell. "They are. But I needed to change and, even though it hurt all of us, I left. The Buddhist, they have all the goodwill in the world but sometimes they're too comfortable to peak outside the garden they've built. Hijiri had, well maybe this isn't so important, but..." I trailed off, hoping Senkai would interrupt, but those Opal eyes quietly stared at me.

Well so much for my luck. "It was the day after I became an adult. Hijiri told me I'd have a new duty of the utmost importance at the temple. It was exciting, since I'd always looked up to her and the others, even if some of them did like to get drunk a little too often." I snickered, trying to introduce some levity into the story. "She took me to a room in the temple I hadn't been to before, seeing to ancient treasures, warding against an ancient and imprisoned evil, cataloging secret knowledge, I was ready for all of it you know. Imagine my disappointment when the only thing in the room was a few table, cushions, and a feeble-looking Youkai. I don't remember anything else about them, not their name, species, or even their face, just that we sat down and had some tea and pleasant conversation. It was all nice until Hijiri told me what my duty would be."

I rubbed my face, thinking of the right way to say it. "I was supposed to use my gift to 'help' the Youkai overcome their evil nature by making a deal that forbade them from attacking humans."

"Is that really possible?" Senkai asked, maybe more out of courtesy then anything else.

"If it's in both parties best interest then yes and the Youkai, who I pray has found peace, they begged me to do it, as if their very life was at stake and I didn't have a reason to see them suffer."

"But you didn't do it?" She asked.

"No. I just, got up and left, I left the room, I left the temple, I left the village, and before I knew it I was in a little shack on the outskirts. I'd say I was possessed, but it was more like I just felt empty, as if I was just doing what had to be done." I said.

"Why didn't you?" She insisted.

"At the time, I have no idea. Since then I've thought about the wrongness of it many times, trying to shortcut enlightenment through lobotomy, what even allowing such a thing might escalate into, what the Youkai might've said to convince Hijiri that it was permissible to do, it's all probably meaningless. In the end, I'd never do such a thing because above all, it would make that Youkai truly alone."

"But why? A Youkai that can't attack humans could be well-liked right?" Senkai asked.

"Perhaps, but then what about when they're around other Youkai? Can they understand the struggles their fellows at the temple would go through? And even humans are capable of attacking humans you know, how are they supposed to understand that urge that they're completely incapable of? And even if you built an entire colony of such 'Safe Youkai' would they even understand each other because they lack the same thing?"

"So you decided to be lonely so others didn't have to be alone?" Senkai asked.

"Ha! As if I was so noble." I said, tucking the comb away for effect. "The truth is that if I struck such deals I'd be out of a customer base in a weeks time!" I joked with a laugh. "Now I've answered your questions, how about you tell me what you actually want."

Senkai nodded, looked me in the eye, and said: "I want you to stay by my Mother's side, Yukari Yakumo's, until the very end."

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Been awhile since I was up until 3AM writing, was hoping to finish the conversation bit today, but that's just life I suppose.
Hope I depicted everything well.