/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>7572112

Oh wow, a homosexual accusing someone else of having mental problems

>>7505473

>ZUN !bar

>>7497020

A veteran, I see.

>>7483969
>even though a lot of us seem to be pretty socially awkward.

No way. Really? I find that hard to believe.

>>7426944

Your enormous body mass doesn't really give much of a fuck about what you beg to differ.

My cousin Emma.

She was about 3 years older than me. The only "friend" I had at a time when everyone else ignored or bullied me. Pretty. Funny. Mysterious in the way that older people tend to be when you're young and impressionable.

I used to go round to her house and we'd play dressup, putting on makeup together and singing Spice Girls songs (big at the time, whatever) at the many parties her parents hosted. First time I wore a dress...

Anyway, we grew apart as time went on. I never forgot her, but the memories became distant and started to lose their sharpness, until recently.

As I was packing stuff in my room while we were moving house a while back, I found a bunch of old photos. They were really cute, most of them were many years old and probably no one had looked at them for years either. They were mostly family related, just shots of my mother and sisters on holiday and in restaurants and such. It was getting sort of repetitive until I came across one photo completely different from the rest.

Me and Emma standing in her hallway. She's bending down slightly -- to reach me, because our lips were sealed together. My first and last kiss.

We haven't been in touch for over 10 years now. I don't have a clue where she lives and I don't know if she'd even remember me... but I'll never forget her. So long as I have this photograph to look at I'll never forget those days, those long carefree days with my first and last friend, my first and last kiss.

So I just read "the" Reisen story.

It was...

Well, the premise is interesting. The ending is well done, if rushed. The characterisation of Eirin in particular was great.

But the writing itself... and the dialogue, JESUS.

It was unbelievably bad. It was really, really fucking bad and it ruined the effect of the entire thing.

Whoever wrote that cannot write dialogue for shit. There's no distinction between the way the characters speak -- whether it's the narrator or Reisen or Tewi (for Christ's sake), they all speak in this bizarre default "average American male" tone. They speak, essentially, very obviously the same way that whoever wrote it speaks.

Tewi: "You know, there are some jokes that shouldn’t be made, because they simply aren’t funny. Even I know my limits."

...I mean, really? That's not how a resident of fuckin' Gensokyo would speak. It's totally stilted. "Even I know my limits." -- wtf?

I could go on, really, but yeah. It was definitely better than most Touhou fanfiction, and the writer should be commended for trying something different, but the writing seriously lets down what had the potential to be an excellent story.

That is all.

>your're are

>>7197252

As opposed to the superawesome thread that you just got finished making, right?

>>7189157

No anon, I am very serious. I don't feel like what I've done so far is enough. She needs to know that I'm serious about our relationship. I am just worried that there will be some legal guideline that makes this impossible.