/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>20181444
Cats are literally Satan in animal form.

>>14133199
>As you leave the store with the one Pikachu plush, the Kobold shouts to your boss
>"OH MRS! I ALSO MOST FORGOT TO TELL YOU!"
>Your boss turns her head curious
>"I almost forgot to mention, next store at our Babies R Us, we have all kinds of things for mothers to help them get back on their feet! They even have exercise items for mothers that want to lose some of that baby weight from pregnancy! You could lose all that weight from those triplets in no time!"
>Your boss gives a nervous chuckle, before quickly slithering out of the store
>When you reach the pickup, you see your boss poking her stomach with a dejected look on her face
>"Hey Anon... You'll be truthful right?"
>Eh
>"Well, I'm not... Healthy am I?"
>Well, you're not sure if you'd call her fat, but she was on the bigger side than most Apophises, and people with stricter standards might call her so
>You go with the smart option of saying she's fine, because no idiot tells a woman she's fat, especially not their boss
>A smile reappearing on her, she slithers back into the car
>"Of course! I mean, how could someone as beautiful, alluring, and smart as yours truly possibly be something so lowbrow! Anyways, status report on the mission Anon!"
>Struggling to get into your seat thanks to her tail, you tell her you have one stuffed Pikachu, holding it above the tail in your lap
>"Great! And how many do we need to succeed the plan?"
>Well, considering it's a toy from an extremely popular franchise loved by millions of children and adults, they had to of made a minimum of at least 300,000, though maybe higher
>Your boss' smile disappears again, as the numbers begin to sink into her head
>"Alright Anon, I see my previous plan was so great and impressive this Earth simply wasn't ready for it yet. As such, we're moving onto Plan B."
>You hope Plan B is giving up, but you know better