/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Looking back at the art I've produced, my best work was approx. 2 years ago... When I was a NEET.

I improved so much during that time it was insane. I'm still improving, but I just don't have the time/energy to do it as much anymore.
I'm constantly stressed, constantly getting sick, not satisfied with the work I produce or my life.

I cooked up a "retirement" plan where I MIGHT be able to quit my job and keep a decent passive income in ~8 year's time... Except, I was slapped down by reality and bullshit changing laws.
They want us trapped in this country, working like fucking slaves until we're 65 then we die.

I've begun to question: Why am I even alive? Drawing and art are what keeps me going but I'm not even able to work on it to my satisfaction anymore.
Am I alive for the sake of working? Fuck no
Am I alive because I'm afraid of death? It's not something I think about.
So, am I alive for the sake of living? I guess it's only natural. I'm living hoping that tomorrow can be better somehow, but I've reached a point where all I see ahead of me are 40+ years of work followed by being geriatric too weak to care for himself...