/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>17790512
to live well i only see two options, full ascetic monk alone in mountains/or a temple or pursuing the greatest desire/dream of the will (perhaps within some reasonable measure).

the second is self-actualization, basically, and since im a lazy shit who's generally unmotivated and have bad habits etc i dont have much of a resume or anything at my age. what i desire as a goal is too great for me to effortfully make real, though I think i have the aptitude to do so. is this fate all along? pure weakness?

well, its taking the easy way out. at this age id find the ascetic style way too boring id rather just off myself but that's not an option, there's people i care about being around to take care of, weak as i am.

so since i'm stuck here the idea is to minimize suffering/somehow get a reasonable job that can support a cheap apartment where i live frugally.

but even a simple quiet life i foresee being boring, with all my years ive wasted like most jpers doing jack shit post high school/college. college too risky and idk much about trade school.

bla bla bla used to travel for fighting games, used to go to cities and explore etc but the fires gone, competitive fighters are shit now/no one plays the good ones. can't imagine other hobbies filling me with such purpose. real life martial arts? at 25? mediocre health/skinny body? eh. outdoors travel/bla bla? dont like bugs. books/manga/jrpgs? can only handle a 3-4 hours of those a week. even being free from work (your job is to evenutally entertain yourself), i haven't found much meaning. shitloads of philosophy/red pilling etc. aristotle(i think) said the purpose of philosophy should be to improve the quality of ones life, but for me being red > black pilled brings me to a point of things being a big joke. not in a dudebro420 sense but that great cultures of past across the globe (eastern and western civilizaitons are gone) and places like japan, hungary, poland, thailand, are difficult to really fit into/live etc. all shit

I'm gonna replay it.