/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>18987192
>Aphrodite being a whore

ON THAT SUBJECT

>Be Hephaestus
>Born to Zeus and Hera of Mount-fucking-Olympus
>Be born an ugly, stunted little shit
>Mom decides to throw you off Olympus because you're misshapen
>Get raised by Dwarves and taught how to craft that GOOD SHIT
>Start plotting your revenge, it takes years but you pull it off
>Present Mommy Dearest with the sweetest throne that's even been made for Mother's Day
>She delights in the fact that somehow her useless, half-formed hobbit of a son managed to make something this nice for her
>That's right, bitch, Son's got some skills
>Hera sits her Queen sized booty on the bone throne
>Smirk to yourself, muttering something along the line of 'TIME TO GET A LEG UP ON THE COMPETITION'
>Before she can process what's happening, Ted, the dwarf who lives in your prosthetic leg hops out and turns on the power
>Hera's stuck to the chair, serves the bitch right
>Zeus is pissed, Ares is pissed, hell, the entirety of Mount Olympus is pissed
>Tell Zeus that you'll let Mom get off if he gives you the hottest woman to ever be, Aphrodite
>She's so fine you can swear Van Halen's "Why Can't This Be Love" plays every time she walks by
>Figures that Ouranos' testicle would make THAT come out of the sea
>Get hitched, much to the chagrin of Zeus and Hera, forge Dad some kick-ass lightning to chuck as a thanks
>Rather than live happily married, your great-aunt/wife spends her time banging your brother Ares and howling until her throat goes hoarse
>Why have the hobbled gremlin when she can have the stallion
>TFW spend the rest of your days forging and making a daughter like Pandora with Athena, who despite being a nerd treats you with some level of respect

>>17806875
>Dragon healing
>Idea plaguing me for years

>Anon running away as a kid from a Red Dragon razing his village
>Gets adopted by Dragoons, trained in the arts of slaying dragons
>Finds the dragon's lair, now an elder wyrm
>Ancient, completely unsporting to slay
>Spends time with her, ironically, to better understand why she burned his village to the ground
>He was promised to her but his father tried to Jew her out of a husband

>>15141860
>tfw you like girls who drink, especially Satyros
>tfw you will never get shit-faced with an MG because that makes you a filthy drunk
>Even though you'd totally do Naughty Nuruenago shots off of a Succubus' abs

>>14884285
As much as I'm loathe to admit it; Ilassa and Ilothe walking around in her desert city-state, because I'm continuously fucking blueballed from my architecture fetish by that flaming faggot ELH since there's NO FUCKING ART OF WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE AT ALL. AT LEAST MARITAN'S HOME IS BASICALLY FUCKING DALARAN.

GOD.