/jp/ - Otaku Culture

I saw the guy posting his stories here, so I figured I'd share this epic touhou novel I translated recently. It's got Mokou, Marisa, and Keine as main characters, but it's not porn so I don't expect you guys to care, for now I’ve put up only the first 3 chapters on
rentry DOT co/dzmr2

The story starts with Mokou's backstory and how she got cursed with immortality, but it takes some wild turns. Mind you, it's quite philosophical and the characters might be ooc but it has the most profound characterization I’ve seen in a fan work. It only gets increasingly complex. I’d appreciate critique on my translation, especially on chapters 3 and 4 where I feel the translation really sucks.

>>42028741
I'm cool enough to meet Mokou and don't give her a reason to vaporize me on the spot. And if she doesn't know how to use a computer then I'm 100% safe since she can't access my folder titled "Totally not naughty pictures of 2hus".

Mokou's face when someone asks what she smells like.

>>14301090
Are you asking which is the most depressing or which is the most depressed?
I don't know about most depressing but something about Mokou seems like she'd off herself the fucking nanosecond she thought she could.