>goes to gym for ages. YMCA, convenient location, free parking, lifts the barbells much, swims a bit
>is aspie as fuck from lurking /jp/ for years
>tries to make connections with gymbros. maybe a steady workout partner or reliable spotter would be nice
>needs to find something in common to connect, hates team sports, doesn't care about cars, doesn't own TV, can only say so much about the weather
>sees builtmode guy with bitchin' beard, thinks to self "Hey, I have a bitchin' beard too!"
>practices some small talk about beards in mirror at home. this is going to be great!
>works up nerve to say something to Beardbro, walks in general direction, but Beardbro looks up from his workout, and eye contact is made. ABORT!
>veers off toward water fountain, disaster narrowly avoided
>3 weeks later, more practicing under belt, well prepared for beard convo
>walks into locker room, sees Beardbro walk around corner. opportunity at last!
>brings rehearsed icebreaker to front of mind, prepare to engage!
>walks around corner of lockers, blurts out "I see your winter pelt is really coming in!" just as Beardbro drops his towel and bends over to grab his undies from his duffel bag on the floor
>shouts his icebreaker into Beardbro's ass
>Beardbro stands up very, very straight, very, very suddenly.
>"Pardon?"
>"..muh...I mean... beard... winter is coming...so cold."
>passes out, hits head on stool, and wakes up in a locker with a wad of a corner of a gym towel stuffed in mouth