/jp/ - Otaku Culture

I HAD A VISION

(setting context: a portal has recently opened between modern Earth and MGE world, perhaps after human women have gone extinct in MGE world)

An encyclopaedia of us Earthlings for the MGE world, like the MGE encyclopaedia is for our world. There are entries for different types of humans, like "American", "Communist", "Neet". Written as a practical guide, to explain how they would receive monstergirls. Bizarre misunderstandings at every step. All of human history is compressed to a single incoherent profile. Horrifically racist with absolutely no awareness.

> The American

> The American is a proud and independent Earthling. A prairie people, the Americans grow cows and ride them to battle, as a devastating force greater than any on Earth. Even the Russians and Chinese cower before the image of a batallion of charging Americans, and have learned to avoid challenging them directly. The greatest of these riders are known as "cow boys". Some Earthlings are both Americans and Women at the same time - these become known as "cow girls", and film themselves in inspirational videos to attract mates.

> Americans recognize each other from other Earthlings by the greeting: "From many, one." It is an affectionate saying, and no true red-blooded American can resist a mamono who whispers this into his ear in a seductive voice. Older generations of Americans still speak European (as Europeans once ruled over them), in which the greeting goes: "E pluribus unum".

> At an early age, the American is taught by his parents to eat well. Once an American has grown large enough that he cannot be a "cow boy" anymore as the cow is too weak for his weight, he is considered an adult and joins the Senate, the caste of the most respected Americans. However reaching this point can take many, many years, and some never do. By then, the American is soft, alluring and round. The American may blush and appear embarrassed by a cute mamono cuddling his folds, but deep inside he considers it his greatest asset, and considers this the greatest show of affection.