/jp/ - Otaku Culture

“Watson Detective Agency.”

>”Yeah, I need some help. Can you get this fweaking duck away from me? It ate both my pixels!”

“Watson Detective Agency.”

>”Hey Watson, I weally like Guwa’s Ecco the Dolphin costume!”

“Wrong Sea creature, Homestar.”

>”Oh, wight. I weally like her Blubb-O’s whale costume!”

“Watson Detective Agency.”

>”Hey Watson, Halloween’s coming up soon, you hoping to get a million pounds of Kit-Kats this yeaw?”

“I don’t think I could’ve eat that much. How about you?”

>”Mawzipan says I should eat a lot of smawties this yeaw, not suwe why.”

“Watson Detective Agency.”

>”Hey Watson, ya know what the best thing about fall is?”

“The colors?”

>”No, the wetuwn of the seasonal flavows, like Fluffy Puff pumpkin-spice latte banana bwead flavored mawshmallows!”

“I thought you hated marshmallows.”

>”No, I hate the guy they got to weplace me as the spokesman for Fluffy Puff mawshmallows. Any diwt on him by the way?”

“Nothing but a bunch of occult ritual stuff and the color purple.”

"Watson Detective Agency."

>"I heawd youw fwiend was havin' some twoubles. Well luckily for her, I know a guy who's a gweat motivational speakew!"

"Homestar, I'm sure that won't be ne-"

>"When life throws a pie at you, you just take that pie and make youwself a tall glass of piemonade!"

"Watson Detective Agency."

>"Hey Defendew, what do you call a wedneck, with no teeth, that watches stock caw wacing all day?"

"I dunno, what do y-"

>"Ba ha ha, Man! they do not weaw shiwts!"

"Homestar-"

>"What does a wedneck man call a dead possum lyin' in the middle of the woad?"

"I don't have time for this, I need to walk Bubba and-"

>"Ba-ha ha ha! Pwobably sushi!"

*click*

"Watson Detective Agency."

>"Hey Pwotwactor, I need youw help finding that Goblin by midnight. I heawd if you do, he tuwns youw halloween candy into gold!"

"Homestar I'm pretty sure all he does is that little dance to what I can only assume is his theme music."

>"Oh yeah? well we'll see who's laughing when my 100 Gwands are turned into a hundwed gwand!"

“Watson Detective Agency.”

>”Hey Watson, I weally like your Inspectow Clouseau costume!”

“Homestar, I’m supposed to be Sherlock Holmes.”

>”Oh, wight. Did he evew catch that wascal Lupin?”

>"...and that Halloween, I decided I was gonna go fow a million pounds of candy!"

"So how'd you do?"

>"Oh, I got quite the haul fwom the Poopsmith."

"From the... Poopsmith?"

>"That's wight."

"Uh, Homestar-"

>"Yeah, I found out latew that it was in fact, not candy that he gave me."

"Watson Detective Agency."

>"I have a few tips fow you to twy. One, Twy computew catsup. it's bettew than the wegulaw kind. And even the puwple kind."

"What the heck is-"

>"Second, the fastest way to speed up the acquisition of a new computew, is to jam a Swiss Cake Woll in the old one's mothewboawd."

"I mean, you're not wrong about that."

"Watson Detective Agency."

>"Hey, I got a gweat idea fow youw collab stweam."

"Go on..."

>"One, you take a computew. Two, you gwab a 2-litew of Mountain Dew. three, you apply said mountain dew to said computew, libewally.:

"That... doesn't sound like much of a snack."

>"Oh, I thought this was the messing with Stwong Bad stweam."

>"Thank you fow calling the intewnet, may I have youw account number ow identity theft, please?"

"Yeah, I'd like to complain about my connection speed, it's becoming really slow as og late and-"

>"All wight, I can help you with that. Please hold while I transfew you to someone who can help you with that."

"Wait, wha-"

>"Doo doot. Tch. Doo doo dit. Tch. Doot doo doot. Tch. It's the hold music, do doot. Tch. Pa doo doot. Tch. Boodoo doo doot. Tch. Hold music!"

"Umm..."

>"Thank you fow holding. Your call is vewy unportant to us. The next available wepwesentative wi— okay, I'm back! Lemme just vewify your addwess so I can send you my weight in fwee sign-up CDs."

"I'm hanging up now."

>"I'm so glad we could get that wesolved. Is there anything else I can—"

*click*

>"Watson Detective Agency."

>"Hey Watson, does that weapew fwiend of youws own all of Coach Z's wecowds?"

"Umm, no? I don't think she does."

>"Okay good, I just wanted to wawn hew befowe it was too late"

>>27212215
Fuck, forgot the image again.

“Watson Detective Agency.”

>”yeah, I need you investimigate the disappeawance of owiginal Bubs!”

“Homestar, that was just Strong Bad’s imagination.”

>”No way, you can’t make up eyesight that good! He could see fwom ovew thewe!”

"Watson Detective Agency."

>"Hey Watson, why do people gotta be hatin' on Dixieland?"

"Well, I don't believe I've ever heard of Dixieland, per say."

>"Well, awe you in fow a tweat! 'cause it's got sevewal syncopations. Sevewal syncopations! Sevewal syncopations tonight!"

"I'm hanging up now."

“Watson Detective Agency.”

>”oh. Man. Have I got an amazing idea fow youw shawk fwiend.”

“Okay, what cha got?”

>”okay, get this: Beaw holding a shawk giwl. It’ll do gangbustews!”

“That... sounds like it’s be pretty good, actually.”

>”I know! Isn’t it gweat? Oh, by the way, you’we now weading this in Stwong Bad’s voice.”

“Wha-what?”

“Watson Detective Agency.”

>”yeah, people keep asking for Coach Z, so make it’s that me fow you to defwag him.”

“Okay, well I should start with a few basic things, what can you tell me about him?”

>”Well, I’m pwetty suwe he eithew lives in the lockew woom, or that abandoned caw neaw Bubs’ concession stand, he WEALLY likes giving butt pats, he smells funny, he topical ointments, he dwinks mouthwash stwaight from the bottle-“

“I think I’ve heard enough to determine that I lack not will ever have enough time and manpower to get to the bottom of this case.”

>”Wow, that was fast! What do I owe you?”

“$2999.95, plus tip.”

“Watson Detective Agency.”

>”Well. That was a thing that happened.”

“Well, now what?”

>”Don’t wowwy, I got this: Two twains entew a tunnel going fouw miles pew houw. At what time do they weach Poughkeepsie?”

“Homestar, do you even know the answer to that question?”

>”Uhhh...” *click*

“Watson Detective Agency.”

>”Yes, I need you to be investigate a pet show I pawticipated in, one of the contestants is complaining that his pet was unjustly disqualified due to an incident involving welish foot.”

“...Homestar, did you get The Cheat disqualified by dabbing Relish on Strong Bar’s foot?”

>”Yea-Uh, Nooooooo.”

"Watson Detective Agency."

>"Oh. Man! Detwactow, I have just witnessed the next big thing in gaming! You gotta hear about this!"

"Um, okay. what is it?"

>"You know that guy who helped design Geaws of Waw?"

"Yeah, I know that guy."

>"Well guess what? He and his new studio have just dwopped a twailew for theiw newest game: Lawbweakews!"

"...Lawbreakers."

>"Yeah, yeah, that's the one. I can't wait to bweak all the laws in this amazing looking team-based shootew! In fact, I'm gonna go wesewve my copy now! Bye!"

"Watson Detective Agency."

>"Oh. Man! I just saw the gweatest thing ever! It's gonna change lives! It's gonna change the wowld! It's gonna change the way we do things!"

"Um, okay. what is it?"

>"Google. Glass. a computew you weaw like a paiw of glasses. Isn't that awsome?!"

"Uh, yeah. sounds great Homestar."

>"Now, I don't usually do this, but you've been such a gweat fwiend, I'm gonna make suwe I get a paiw wesewved just fow you!"

"Uhh... thanks?!"

>"No pwoblemo! Wemembew this day Diwectow, it'll be the day that evewything changes!"

"Watson Detective Agency."

>"Oh. Man. Diwectow, you won't believe it. I've seen something that's going to wevolutionize the tubes as we know it!"

"Um, okay, go on."

>"Okay, get this: Weply videoes. This is going to change the way we do things! you can WEPLY to videoes!"

"Uhh..."

>"Sowwy, can't talk, I gotta make a weply to this video of a Shawk singing! Hop on the twain now, befowe it's too late!"

"Watson Detective Agency."

>"Oh. Man. Defactow, you gotta hear about this. I have seen the futuwe, and it's name, is OUYA."

"The... Ouya?"

>"Ooooou-ya! The futuwe of online gaming has awwived, today! you should pick up wight now, before they sell out!"

"umm... thanks for the advice, Homestaw."

>"No pwoblem, and wemembew, thank you fow believing!"