/jp/ - Otaku Culture

“Watson Detective Agency.”

>”Heawd you wewe buildin’ stuff!”

“Yeah, I’m building a railway in-“

>”Say no mowe, I’m an expewt when it comes to galvanized nails and cawdboawd females!”

“...in Minecraft?”

>”Oh. Oh I see.”

“...”

>”...WETWEAT! Fall back, m-“

*click*

"Watson Detective Agency."

>"Hey Watson, I heawd you might be looking fow stweam ideas, how about an impwession stweam?"

"Alright, got any good ones?"

>"Yeah, check this out. *ahem* Well... well... Nancy and I... economics... well... wap music... jellybeans... well... we... probably had a... pet..."

"Was that supposed to be Ronald Reagan?"

>"Wonald Weagan? I was doing my Keanu Weagan!"

"...I'm hanging up now."

"Watson Detective Agency."

>"Oh, man! Watson, I just got back fwom seeing the most amazing summew blockbustew!"

"Not the first thing I'd do these days, but go on."

>"Deep Impact had evewything! I tell ya, that Mowgan Shawshank was gweat! Cinema has nevew Luked so Wilson!"

"Homestar, I'm pretty sure I've heard this one before."

>"Oh... say, you wanna sign my petition, my bromide?"

"uh, Igottagotocomputerscienecebye"*click*

"Watson Detective Agency."

>"Watson, its Homestaw. It's currently62 days until Decembewween, and I need to come up with a plan to get out of going over to Mawzipan's mom's house and having to have Dinnew with hew and hew new husband."

"Is it really that bad?"

>"I would wather jump off a mountain onto a mattwess full of bwoken glass and shawpened candy canes."

"Hmm... I have an idea, but I'll need to contact one of my senpais and see if she can move Usada Construction to your neighborhood."

“Watson Detective Agency.”

>”Hello thewe, valued customew, would you lie to twy our attempt at competing with the national coffee chains with ouw mocha chip meltshake?”

“Uhh, what?”

>”Sowwy, had a flashback to my time wowking for Blubb-o’s.”

“Watson Detective Agency.”

>”Hey Watson, I weally like youw fwiend’s Maui Onion Bubs costume!”

“Haha good joke very hard.”

>”Thanks! It took me thwee weeks of wowkshopping to come up with that one.”

>”...And then, Stwong Sad figuwed out that, that it was The Cheat’s Gold Tooth that was causing the ghost to pop up in all ouw photos!”

“How does a Gold Tooth do that?”

>”I dunno, but the weal adventuwe was getting that Photo Booth back into that Wedding Mawzipan had me steal it fwom!”

"Watson Detective Agency."

>"...mowe...mowe badges..."

"Hello? Are you still there?"

>"Because I got mowe badges than you."

"Homestar, why are you talking about badges?"

>"Becuase I sold more thin mints than you!"

"Homestar, are you dreaming about being a girl scout?"

>"No ma'am, Twoop Bevewly Hills."

"So, Mister..."

>"Wunnew."

"Yes, Mister Runner... I've poured over all the official texts, and official rulings, and there is nothing stating that a, and I quote, "Wagon fulla Pamcakes" cannot be in the Champeenship."

>"I sell my winning shiwt to pay for youw sewvices and this is the best you can do?"

"Sir, I'm a detective, not a Fight fixer. now, my friend Calli might be able to help with that..."

"Watson Detective Agency."

>"Hey Watson, I got myself a twenchcoat and fancy hat to become a detective too!"

"That's great Homestar, any cases so far?"

>"Well, Mawzipan had me out lookin' for some Dana Evidence, but all I found was a glass of Mountain Dwah."

"So, you found a glass of an unknown green liquid and...?"

>"I dwank it."

"You WHAT?!"

>"Yeah, that mess tasted like dwah-dwah."

"Watson Detective Agency."

>"Hey Watson, Bubs wants me to get some of Guwa's teeth so he can sell "Shawk Giwl tooth necklaces"

"Well that's never going to happen."

>"Not even if I give you a box of Kit-Kats and a bag of owange and black loose tooth wemovews?"

"...becoming more likely to happen."

>"Oh Hello, you've weached Homestaw! ...Wunnew! Homestaw Wunnew."

"Is your Refrigerator Perry running?"

>"Um, what?"

"Is our Refrigerator Perry running?"

>"Stwong Mad, is that you?"

“Watson Detective Agency.”

>”Yeah, what’s the deal with Onion Bubs? It’s just an onion with Bubs’ face dwawn on it.”

“Watson Detective Agency.”

>”Yeah, I need you to look into some alleged “Slumbew Pawty games”, Bedax and Find the loadbeawew.”

“Strong Bad came up with these, didn’t he?”

>”Yeah! How you know?”

“Call it a hunch.”

“Watson Detective Agency.0

>”Hey, when awe you gonna open up the Hololive Wivewquest Safawiventuwe wide?”

“Coming in 20xx.”

“Watson Detective Agency.”

>”TEN-HUT! Col-lo-nel Homestaw Wunnew of the Honestawmy, looking fow wecwuits!”

“Not Interested.”

>”Dwaft Dodgew, eh? Let’s see if those twees you’we always hugging will help when Gowdon Lightfoot’s cweeping awound youw back staiw!”

“Watson Detective Agency.”

>”What kinda investigation can I get fow two pinks and a gween?”

“Who paid you in Monopoly money?”

>”Stwong Sad, when I played the part of a washed up TV actow who hasn’t wowked in ten yeaws attempting to weinvent himself in his independent movie!”

>"...and then they walked away, leaving me alone with just a thing in a bag, and no dwink!"

"Bummer."

>"It's almost like it was some sowt of plot to get fwee dwinks! I mean, I'm still cool, wight?"

"You put the empty bag on your head after they left, didn't you?"

>"Pfft! As if I would stoop so lo-yes, I put the bag on my head."

"Oh Homestar..."

"Watson Detective Agency."

>"Watson, Help! I woke up in this pile of swee-atshiwts and I don't know how to stop it! I'm s'posed to be watching Bubs' concession stand while he's in some widiculous pawade!"

"Well that doesn't so ba-"

>"And I'm pwetty suwe a wat just bit my knee."

"Okay, this is a bigger problem than anticipated."

“Watson Detective Agency.”

>”Hey Watson! I heawd you go a couple of Dogs, pewhaps I can bwing Twivia Time ovew fow a play date?”

“Isn’t Trivia Time a cookie jar? That help me d to Pom-Pom?”

>”Wow, that’s a pwetty wude thing to say about someone’s pet.”

“Watson Detective Agency.”

>”Yes, I’m spweading the good wowd of Melonade, may I intewest you in the newest seasonal flavow, Pumpkin Spice Lattle Melonade?”

“No.”

“Watson Detective Agency.”

>”Yeah, someone stole my cow lamp.”

“Do you have anything relating to a case, sir?”

>”No, I just wanted to shawe that. Dunno why they did that, it’s not even made of weal cow.”

"Okay, let me run through this: You're betting me that you can be cool."

>"Wight."

"And if you're not cool, you have to change your name to "Kevin Dubrow"..."

>"Wight."

"And if you are cool, I have to do a solo minecraft stream?"

>"Wight."

"Easiest Bet I've ever won, Kevin. Do your worst!"

>"...'sup?"

"That's it?"

>"You pwobably can't tell, but I'm weawing a pwetty cool paiw of shades."

"...crap."

"Watson Detective Agency."

>"Hey Watson, when awe you gonna build a big ol' pool! Yeah, it's almost wintew, but thewe's plenty of thigns you can do with a pool in wintew!"

"Like what?"

>"Like fill it up with an obscene amount of "Wed Flavowed Fluffy Puff Twanslucent Dessewt Welated Substance!"

"Red Flavored...what?"

>"Please don't make me explain, I've said too much as it, if I go any fuwthew, He/'ll show up and-*click*