/jp/ - Otaku Culture

I love when people post a picture of their room and act all "lol so dirty". Mine is so filthy I'm ashamed to take a picture. I'm forced to have two cat litterboxes in my room or I can stay with my mother. The cats don't really like them, though, and just go wherever while I sleep. Sure, I clean their shit and piss, but the smell and stains are forever there.

All of my furniture is nasty and over 30 years old, all cut up, wobbly, and missing pieces. The dresser my monitor sits on has never been moved in 7 years. Trash falls behind it, be it open or closed drinks, food, or clutter. Once it falls back there, it stays. I saw a strange bug come out from under the dresser a while back. It was either a roach or a junebug.

My ceiling leaks when it rains, cat litter has spread all throughout the room, and other things I didn't mention. I didn't want it to end up like this. My brother and I shared the room for a long time. The mess was his. Then he moved out and left me with it. I can't be arsed to do anything about it after it's come this far. And any time I DO try to do anything about it, my mom gets mad for some reason and threatens to kill herself.

All is not right in the world.

I've been interested for a long time. A long time ago I used real lube and my fingers, but didn't get very far in. For the past week, I've been sticking my fingers up during showers (after coating the finger with saliva) and it feels "pleasant". I still cannot get very far, though. I always reach some sort of wall and can go no farther. I don't think I've found my prostate.

I don't want to buy a toy until I can get farther in, but after about an inch, I hit... some sort of wall. Anyone have any similar experiences?

Also, I happen to have lubricated condoms but no separate lube. Could I rap, say, the bulbous end of a screwdriver inside and safely use it? Or a skinny flashlight?

I feel embarrassed asking about this...