/jp/ - Otaku Culture

I need you to sign a few papers

>>45822240
How is one mamono so perfect in virtually every way conceivable?

>>45593537
Mama's little kiss-addict

>>45561282
easy. monsters are good and pure, and so violence against them is sin. man is wicked and sinful, and so violence against him is just.

>>45544177
I know it's horribly self indulgent but I really want to not have to work or study and just snuggle and be topped and doted over by a nice onee-san demon.

>>45413057
>"Honey?"
>"Mm. Mhm?"
>"Why do you like cuddling me so much?"
>"... Your soul is warm."

>>45389224
clacks are good because you can heard them coming from a long way away and that give you time to hide.

>>45370436
>shotanon dressed in the scariest summoner's robes he could find (last year's halloween costume)
>makes the circle and does the chant
>CC onee-sama demon appears in a cloud of smoke and brimstone
>starts cooing over him instead of obeying his every command

>>45280730
Happy to say I'm not one of whatever you are. Hating women is pathetic.

>day 8 of NNN
>increasingly more realistic monster girls are invading my dreams

Hah, they'll have to do better than that. Open up those portals, and then we'll talk.

>>45105136
Slip up and accidentally call a demon 'mommy' once and there'll be no going back for you.

>>44822965
I appreciate her putting in the effort
true loves from your partner being able to tuck your head under their chin while they hug you

>>44771088
Why are you all so in love with the idea death? Don't you like living in the world? It's everything.

>>44732019
>Signee requests 'cuddles, for a little while, and kissing a little bit maybe'
>These will be provided to him in full
>In return, the signee is expected to engage in vigorous and obscene babymaking sex with the contractor no less than three times a day for a period of no less than 459 years, starting from the date of signing
>signee will also be required to formally marry the contractor in his own legal and cultural tradition
>contractor reserves the right to offer more cuddles and kissing than the original request
>_____________ <- SIGN HERE

>>44712249
Spider verbal abuse is not what you need in your current, delicate state anono!

>>37632851
You can't trust the blue ones!

>>36994919
Devils are flatties and therefore unworthy of an angel's attention. Demons are endowed enough to both threats and rivals.

>>36801399
I'd love to bury my face in Demon thighs everyday.

>>34776210
Sorry, I already submitted to a Demon

Lonely ara ara tier women make the best monster girls after they're monstetized

>"Oh DO take your time, here, get a good look at what you're signing fo-"
>"O-oh so you signed without even getting a good look at me? Well that's very nice bu-"
>"O-oh, s-so you knew from the sound of my voice that I would perf-"
>"Young man flattery won't get you anywhere, my eyes aren-"
>"...Hurry up and pen in those 36 additional signatures and initials, momma can't wait any longer."

>Keep holding the pen with that much vigor and I'll have to give you a big kiss on the lips anon!

>she sees your penmanship

>Oh? Look who's crawling right back to me, Anon!
>Reconsidered signing that contract already? I know it was a tempting offer but it's only been an hour!
>I guess you must really love all the thought I put into it. You won't find a more detailed contract in the world!
>Get out of my bathroom? What do you mean I'm stalking you? It's just a coincedence that I'm here!
>So what if it's the third time we're having this exchange in the past hour? It's a good contract! I'm just looking out for you. Sign it! Sign it now!
>Ok, ok, ok, I'll leave, you don't have to be such a party pooper, goodness. I'm sure there are plenty of other guys willing to sign away their soul in unholy matrimony in exchange for a haircut!
30 minutes later
>Well well well, if it isn't Anon. Funny running into you at your dishwasher. You knew I would be here, didn't you? Oh, you're such a sweetheart, you probably wanted to sign the contract right? Here, I even brought a fancy pen to use!