/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>45844847

Pure and unadulterated anguish was all that Hana could see behind Reimu’s watery eyes that spilled forth from the floodgates. The red that painted her mother’s face, the emotions behind her eyes, the curling of her lips; none of that was rage. It was something she’d never seen her mother of all people display to anyone; it wasn’t something she was prepared for.

The tears were audible now as she pulled herself together through gritted teeth, “I-I know! I know that it makes nothing better! I know you’ll never want to look at me again as even a human! I know, I know, I know, I know!” her mother breathed in and breathed out deeply, the meditative practice was the most basic and one she’d taught Hana personally; it didn’t seem to work, “I made you hate me and I made everything hell for you! You’ll never love me, never come back, never smile at me again and- and I don’t deserve any of it either!”

Reimu was shouting now, the sorrow was too much to retain any semblance of pride, “There’s nothing I can do to make it up to you, nothing at all! I know that as well as anyone!” Her mother bowed her head, smashing her forehead onto the table without a care for appearances, “But I still love you, I love you and Anon more than life itself! I would do anything to make it up to you! I can’t set things right, I can’t and don’t know how! Please, just know that I love you and that’s all I need! Just know that the only thing I’ve thought about since then was you and your father and how I could help in anyway I can! I-I rebuilt the shrine for you, I stopped drinking, I accepted Aya, Marisa, and Ran’s feelings for your father and I wish them the best! I just want you both to remember me- to remember that I love you and want nothing more than to support you in whatever you do! I never hated you, I only hated myself!”

With hitching breath, Hana stood up as Reimu raised her head in reflex at the sudden movement. Hana couldn’t handle it; she just couldn’t sort out the genuine remorse she saw with the image of the women that she despises more than anyone. This wasn’t her; it wasn’t the same women that twisted her arms and brought her low to the ground with sake-stained taunts at the slightest provocation. It wasn’t her tyrannical mother that raped her father as she pleased and birthed her into this world with nothing but ill intent.

Hana wanted nothing more than to hate her, she wanted Reimu to explode in anger and strike her even if just once. The sobbing wreck in front of her that punctuated her ‘please!’s with another slam onto the table with her forehead, her palms flat at her side as if she could show her sincerity further with that alone, was not the women who would abuse her gifts to torment those she was closest too. Hana felt disgust in that moment, at her mother, at herself, at even her father for marrying such a woman.

Suffocating in this room she shouted, “Don’t, Don’t! Just stop!” as she ran off and threw open the doors to the freezing hallways. She wanted to leave the ghosts of the past behind, to move forward despite it all. The ghosts followed without mercy as she threw open the door to her room and slammed it shut behind her as she moved through. She could still hear the sobbing behind her through the thin walls that hid little, the terrible sobbing of the monster that tormented her yet found a way to change that seemed genuine for once.

Those baleful cries of anguish became a harmony soon enough as Hana clutched the bag of presents, the only comfort she could find, and let her voice join the wailing. She clutched the bag as she collapsed onto the futon, letting the contents spill out haphazardly. Memories, and nothing but memories showered her mind no matter where she looked. Memories of the eventful party, those that loved her, those that she thought hated her, those ghosts that circled her like vultures.

Among the contents that spilled out, something Hana didn’t even care to notice as she lay there in her own self-loathing and anguish was a small box. It lay upside down, its ribbon crumpled by gravity and its wrapping paper battered from all that has happened today; its contents unknown and its sender remains to be seen.

Word spreads fast in the village, it was one of the things Hana learned quickly after she moved in. Her flight from the HSE about a week ago was unremarkable but still drew the attention of the villagers and community at large. Of course it had. She didn't even think about it till now as she had largely stayed in, only leaving to draw water and restock on everything but the rice and spices that was able to keep in their pantries. Their meager savings still somehow spared from any looters that may have wanted to take advantage of her absence.

A thump at the door alerted her to this news, Hana herself hardly in the mood to talk with anyone let alone make happy small talk with strangers. She opened after a short delay where she tightened the yukuta she slept in, and still hadn't changed out of despite the fact it was the middle of the afternoon. In front of the door, under the comparatively brighter light of the overcast skies was a rolled up newspaper.

She looked around in paranoia, as if she was being targeted for something, but this quickly subsided as she saw the largely empty street and skies. No... of course not... 'get it together Hana!' she thought in annoyance. She hadn't seen hair nor hide from Yukari since then, not a cryptic message, not even a disgustingly chiding giggle.

Still she scooped up the paper, vaguely remembering that her father had a subscription to the bunbunmaru despite it being obviously out of date. Today was the day they were delivered as well, though how Aya already knew she was back was obvious as Tengu's affinity for rumors was like a worms affinity for dirt.

She opened the paper, the headline was large and imposing just as that shitty crow always had it, 'Hana Hakurei's mysterious disappearance solved?! Half a year until she resurfaces, her gut-wrenching tale of endurance!'

Hana felt her brow scrunch as she read the newspaper, describing an entirely fictitious account while using a photo of her training session with mystia to 'tell the tale' of how she chased her father who sought out lady Yukari and the Tengu to protect him from her mother who was actively and constantly harassing them in and out of the village.

The paper went on to tell about how Yukari and the benevolent Tengu sheltered him from the wrathful miko with their danmaku out of the kindness of their hearts. It went into vague details, alluding to a previous piece which talked about the agreement that was struck between them where her father would 'publicly shame the Hakurei like she shamed him' while offering comfort and council to the victims she made during her two decade long bout of cruelty.

As Hana sat down at the now spruced up kitchen she continued reading the paper, it stressed, 'thanks to sensitive details that the reporter and investigators of the bunbunmaru uncovered they couldn't release the truth over safety concern' and 'that details couldn't be made available outside of close friends of those involved.'

Now the newspaper talked of herself, she read about this girl she didn't know called Hana who had sheltered with Yukari personally in order to minimalize any risk of Reimu finding the important girl as Yukari trained her personally. She spoke of how Hana had fallen from Yukari's good graces, as she disproved of her father's course of action of and spurred the gifts of her benefactors by spreading malicious rumors as to the 'true' nature of the HSE.

With trembling hands Hana read on about this ungrateful girl, 'While it may be hard for our readers to understand the true motive of Hana Hakurei in spreading such frightful and entirely false rumors in saying that her father is being tricked, blackmailed, or otherwise held against his will and that the prestigious HSE is nothing more than elaborate prison. I'd like for everyone to remain patient with her, this girl has been through things no one should have to go through and put in a situation most terrible. The fact that she found it in herself to break with her cover and return to the village truly shows a deep willingness to serve the community in their youkai related problems. A noble spirit that both this reporter, and any regular of the HSE can attest comes directly from her father...'

The article went on with speculation and interviews with related parties, though at least Aya had the honor to not fabricate an interview with her. Still it did little to make up for the blatant lies presented therein. Her own mother's sadism was one thing, her own struggles with her inner demons was another, but now she'd have to live with this slander as well?!

A not uncommon phenomena overcame her as tears welled in her eyes once again, she ripped the newspaper up tossing it the stove's burnable compartment before lighting it. Much like the wisps of smoke that rose up from the deep well the horror of her life came once again to the forefront. She wailed loudly as tears flowed freely, she didn't care who heard, not like anyone could in this empty house...

The minor youkai incursions only grew worse as time stretched on and more woke up, there was no clear solution in sight either only response was the real way to go about it so lately Reimu had been patrolling the village and fields for the entire day. You always made sure to have a bento packed for her filled with heavy enough food to keep her satisfied till she came home to you, it was all you could do really. Racking your brain to find a way to alleviate the stress she's been feeling you came up with a simple solution, using the plums you've been able to pick from the wild growing trees around the shrine you've immersed them in honey must, the goal of course was to make plum wine which was a favorite of hers. It was the best plan you could come up with, as silly as it was, but you poured your love into it, if it was enough to bring a smile to her face it'd be worth the effort and cost of the honey tenfold. Aside from your diversion of preparing the vats for fermentation it was a normal enough day for you, you had the supplies you needed so you simply did the chores, exercised, and took Aunn for a long walk.
Both make work and vital chores made the time pass by quickly and before you knew it was the expected time for your beloved to come home, dinner was prepared and sitting warm on a low fire, the bath was steamy like the fussy miko liked it, as were you ready to serve whatever her desires were tonight. You were feeding Aunn a snack in the courtyard when you see a red and white streak out of the corner of your eye set down, she didn't set down by the torii and instead set down next to the residence and darted inside without consideration of anything else. You said your goodbyes for the night to Aunn who looked a little worried at this behavior and you headed inside as well. You didn't need to reach the door to hear the loud wailing cries coming from inside the shrine, alarmed you threw open the doors to find Reimu sobbing on the floor of the living room the table flipped and the heavy earthenware teapot spilled its steamy contents onto the tatami mat. You approached the devastated miko, "Reimu whats going on?! Are you hurt??" you couldn't keep the panic out of your voice as you've never seen her like this. You placed your hand on her shoulder when she jumped on you still crying, burying her face in your chest and hugging you tightly, "Why?! why do I have to do it?! I hate having to be the one that deals with it! Their crying faces! their hate when I don't get there fast enough! I don't want it I don't!" She shouted into you. Her grip was iron, you knew instinctively that she wasn't trying to harm you so despite the feeling of being in a vice grip as her hands dug into you causing pain you could only caress her hair and gently whisper into her ear as she let it all out.
You weren't sure but at least a half hour passed as she gripped you in her despair, eventually she and composed herself pulling away from your embrace and looking better now. She was looking down like a guilty child, "I'm sorry I lost myself... it was just... hard today especially...", you began to speak some comforting words as you started to get back on your feet but as you tried to move you winced and a sharp pain in your ribs stopped you from getting up easily. Reimu noticed and asked if something was wrong, "Its nothing, just my leg was asleep" you said adamant about not adding anymore trouble to Reimu's day and started to get up again this time forcing through the pain. "you know its a shame that the tea didn't suit your tastes but i'll get some more ready if you care..." your bad joke made the disheveled miko smile at your lame attempt at humor and she was just about to say something when you bent over to right the table and you couldn't help but wince and let out a small sound of pain, Reimu stopped what she was about to say and instead said with a rising sense of dread in her voice, "I know that you're not okay... I didn't... did I?". You knew there was no hiding it now, as pained as she was she wasn't watching her strength and must have fractured one of your ribs, you lift your shirt for her, exposing your upper chest where she held you tightly just a few minutes earlier and her face went pale. "This was the last thing I wanted to see" you remember thinking as Reimu's fragile looking face went pale and her eyes clouded with tears again. It wasn't until later that night after calming down your mentally strained wife, forcing food into her, and comforting her again before sending her to the bath alone that you checked your own wounds. Your decision to let her bathe alone was a right one you thought, it looked like a belt wrapped around your ribcage, with a line of bruising and red showing where her arms wrapped around you, where her fingers gripped into you was nasty and darkening, the ugliest bruise was over your clearly fractured rib. That night it was all you could do to hold her in your arms comforting her till she fell asleep.