/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>19575813
>>19575813
don't worry senpai, I'll probably just marry the first 4/10 Asian woman with a bobcut once I get there.
honestly, my progress was so slow and the people around me always made way more progress on the things they pursued.

my cousins Japanese isn't far from mine and his listening ability is even better than mine despite me probably putting in 5 times his hours.
the only edge I had was my refusal to quit and even that only stemmed from a feeling that everyone wanted to see me fail a feeling I can't get rid of even today

It wouldn't be a lie if I were to say that more than anything that drove me was hatred for my family and honestly all I can think about is "how is that foundation going to affect my future relationships".
I've said this to you before and I'll say it again, people have come further from a much lower starting point to thinking about where you are now and getting upset and losing hope isn't a logical thing to do, it has everything to do with your own mental state. it's clearly hurting you dude and that's why I persist so much and come at the topic from different angles. because all you need is that three-week grind, after the first three weeks you see a tiny improvement, and that's when the motivation kicks in and even that is fleeting. people say you need discipline and discipline helps a fuck ton but really all you need is to thrust your all at it until it becomes habitual.

It's not a lie when I say I've never wanted to kill myself but it would be a lie if I were to say that I've never thought about it, when I set out on my goals I told myself plainly that if I failed that I'd just kill myself, because I couldn't bear to work retail for the rest of my life and who knows if I would have or not.

of all the things I've said to you this is probably the worst advice I've given you so far but seeing as it's what I said to myself forgive me for suggesting that you should keep the thought of suicide in your mind, but put it in a box and don't even consider it until you've exhausted yourself trying to be who you want to be and you just can't lift an arm to do it anymore.
considering what you've been saying, I would guess that you're far from that point, so don't let me hear you shoot yourself down again okay?