/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>36331837
I admire and appreciate the work anon, I really, really do.
And I know it's not the final product but this is the image you chose to showcase your work, so I'm still daying it : already the text doesn't read like actual english.
>"You were walking down the street when you were involved in a accident"
just doesn't sound natural.
>"You were walking down the street when you got in a accident"
or
>"You were involved in an accident as you walked down the street"
already goes a long wau to make it more natural.
I beg of you anon, if you continue in this project, get an editor.