/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>45281781 (10/-)—p1
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Losing Mokou was losing my heart; losing my job, my purpose… And now, I'm losing my mind.

Recent events have proven that the only thing faster than light is gossip, and it goes both ways: happy and proud about someone's pregnancy… Disgusted and angry about a lie. Never properly explained, people didn't know what to do with the 'scandalous' revelation of my fake pregnancy, so they did what they do best and blew it out of proportion. Perhaps I should've tried to clean it immediately and do damage control, but it took an entire day before I gathered energy to leave my bed—I wish I hadn't…

"Did you hear? Some say she lost the kids, poor woman…"

"No, it's something else: Mr. Hieda was enraged at her, calling her a devil; and some say that Immortal girlfriend of hers left the house in the middle of the night, furious. All clues point she got an abortion."

"An abortion?! How could she? I thought she loved children…"

"I know, right?"

They think I can't hear them. I can. "Hey," I call the two gossipers, giving them a side glance after putting the cheaper rice than what I'm used to inside my shopping basket. They look at me perplexed, lowering their voice, watching me as if I were an animal. It's hard to contain the bitterness and stop it from taking form. "The rumors were all lies; I wasn't—" And they already left in a hurry, other pairs of eyes over me, people giving me more space before unceremoniously resuming their gossiping. It filled each of my nerves with sulfur, but I gulped it down, focusing on the supplies I'll be stocking for winter: cheaper, fewer…

I tried to find respite in my mind, closing my eyes, yet I only saw Mokou heartbroken, trembling body, tears.

Weary, I sighed.

Nowhere am I safe from guilt and pain.
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The Korindou can't employ someone else, not with winter just down the line and the ever-present HSE cracking the village's economy like a rotten egg—and though Rinnosuke-san said he could balloon his prices and use the surplus money to pay me a salary, I promptly denied it, not wanting his reputation or sales to suffer just for my sake, but grateful for his kindness anyway. Suzu was the same case, but worse, considering the change in the literature market inside the village…

That pattern repeated everywhere I looked—'winter will be harsh and with the shaken economy, we can't employ more. We're already staffed—Wait, aren't you the teacher who had an abortion?' That latter hit like a gut punch. The lie itself wasn't enough; now an even worse lie overlaps it, whispered beneath breaths like the name of a monster and getting more ridiculous every time it crawled out of someone else's mouth. Abortion is a touchy subject for the villagers: humans are already so outmatched by youkai, even in numbers, something we should excel at. To have a birth subdued for whatever reason is already bad, but abortion might as well be a cardinal sin… Having this slander on me because a crazy man decided I'd give birth to his dead daughter is infuriating.

Worst of all is what happens when I try to defend myself and lash out. They look at me as if I'm crazy and move away, all in silence—such apathy and betrayal culminated in my visit to House Hieda to try to have someone talk sense into Mr. Hieda… I was treated like a criminal! Me, the FUCKING PROTECTOR OR THIS—… the protector of the Village, treated like a criminal, and was escorted out of the property with threats of having Sanae called to 'deal with me'.

I almost gave them an actual motive to call the Moriyan miko…

Slowly, I make my way back home, the last two weeks having driven me into feeling jaded, though each glance of disgust; each whispered word—all still cut deeply…

Tired, hungry, stressed out of my mind, every day missing a strong palm at the end of the afternoon to anchor me back down—a loud, snickering voice of truth and excitement.

… By the Dragon God, it can't get any worse than this—

Drifting in my own mind, I don't sense the projectile until it has already hit the side of my head and thrown me off balance. Steadying myself, I turned, wide-eyed: “I'm being attacked by Danmaku”, I thought—though whatever hit me lacked the strength and burning of a Danmaku pellet…

My eyes land on three unknown children. They hold rocks. By my bare feet rests a rock that wasn't there a moment ago—blood pours down the side of my head in a fine line, a minor scratch, but still there… Yet that's the least of my concerns. I stay there, still and confused as to what just happened. Were they aiming for something else? Did it slip— "Murderer!" The tallest, snottier boy yells, throwing another rock at me. I dodge it, brows furrowing.

… What the…

"Get out of our village!" A little girl yells, and her stone curves and hits nothing.

Baffled and wordless, I look around, and no adult does anything to stop them. They just stand as if it’s none of their business, yet watch with eyes of fury—

—another stone lands. It barely does any damage…